5 ms·
Don't use your phone while you poop
- spottedmarley 2mo agoBut then how would I take the photo I need to feed my AI-powered fecal analysis agent?
- close04 2mo agoI’m confused, doesn’t your toilet bowl already do that for you? https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/12/despite-accessing-user-data-kohler-still-says-its-smart-toilet-cameras-use-e2ee/ https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/12/despite-accessing-us...
- C-x_C-f 2mo agohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ
- gosub100 2mo agoPro tip: send the photo to spammy overseas recruiters, bonus if you add the photo in a .docx with a password. then when they call you asking for the password, tell them over the phone so you can hear their reaction when they see it.
- andsoitis 2mo agoNot just your phone. Don't read books or magazines or do other things. Get in, take your dump, be done in max 6mins, get up. Don't strain.
- bryanrasmussen 2mo ago> be done in max 6mins this has a very "tell me you haven't had kids yet without telling me" energy to it, in opinion at least.
- andsoitis 2mo agoYou want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.
- stanleykm 2mo agoi think they meant they are purposely sandbagging while on the toilet to get some alone time
- andsoitis 2mo agothen it is even worse than I feared! they are both worsening or increasing their own chances of hemorrhoids AND role modeling for their kids that spending a long time on the toilet is OK.
- bonsai_spool 2mo ago> You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact. Whoa, you can preach whatever you'd like, but let's not start inventing 'facts' to put down others. I don't see 'time sitting on the stool' in our list of hemorrhoid risk factors. If, instead, you mean time straining at the stool, then yes: but the straining begets the reading activities, not the other way around. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8416428/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8416428/
- sodapopcan 2mo agoOr, "tell me your family is bearable to be around without telling me."
- bryanrasmussen 2mo agoevidently everyone assumes that kids mean you do the reading on the toilet whereas I meant 6 minutes is an eternity you will not be allowed to reach.
- lewiscollard 2mo agoRight! If you spend enough time in there to be reading you didn't actually need a shit.
- b3ing 2mo ago6 mins? Maybe with a squatty potty and if I'm lucky. Otherwise it's almost always 15-25min for me, not sure why, it just takes time.
- cesnja 2mo agoIf you have time to read on the toilet, then (barring any disease or other disfunction) you’re not getting enough fiber.
- squidbeak 2mo agoIt's one of the most tranquil parts of the day, and a time out from busier things. What's the rush?
- OutOfHere 2mo agoEven with adequate fiber and correct Asian positioning, it can take at least five minutes to empty. Granted, I won't use the phone if I need to focus during this time.
- comrade1234 2mo ago...but then when will I do my Duolingo?
- brtkwr 2mo agoWho read this while in the act?
- haraldooo 2mo agoMost upvoted comment in a long time. Probably.
- tt_dev 2mo agoyou called me out
- isoprophlex 2mo agoDoes taking a piss count?
- tartoran 2mo agoOnly if you're sitting down and lingering for 10 minutes...
- vdfs 2mo agoI went directly to the comments like a true phone addict
- Shaanveer 2mo agowhat if i end up daydreamin?
- nehal3m 2mo agoGod forbid a thought might form!
- bellowsgulch 2mo agoLiterally read this on the toilet. Thanks!
- chasing 2mo agoI have an AI agent that poops for me and just reports the results.
- hackerbeat 2mo agoShatGPT?
- sethammons 2mo agoFlip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.
- iterateoften 2mo ago? What? A healthy colon and diet usually do not need to strain or rush. Just sit and poop. like 1min tops.
- squidbeak 2mo agoYou need to get that dysentery tended to.
- iterateoften 2mo ago? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out. I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.
- VeninVidiaVicii 2mo agoIt seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.
- squidbeak 2mo agoAre you trying to let people know you're a generator of superior fecal matter? If so, there's no need to apologize for it. Carry that stuff with pride.
- wizzwizz4 2mo agoEveryone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?
- 2mo ago
- ozten 2mo agoFrom an evolutionary perspective, this is a super vulnerable moment and are in a state of hyper vigilance.
- aeve890 2mo agoEridians have figured out the solution for vulnerable moments: I watch, you shit.
- deleted 2mo ago[deleted]
- sodapopcan 2mo agoDogs also figured this out, and it goes both ways. This is why they stare at you when they're going, especially when they're puppies.
- aeve890 2mo agoSince I can remember I wonder why dogs do that but it had never occurred to me that that was the reason. What the hell. How many other _obvious_ things I've been blind my whole life
- sodapopcan 2mo agoHey, I only learned this a few years ago myself when I was reading a book about my dog's breed! And I realize I wasn't super specific (although probably obvious) that they stare at you while they go to make sure you are on the lookout.
- yencabulator 2mo agoAre you confused about shitting and sleeping?
- InsideOutSanta 2mo agoTIL that in the past, I definitely would have died while pooping.
- jdw64 2mo agoSitting on the toilet reading this post gives it a whole different feel.
- Waterluvian 2mo agoBut there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.
- jhfdbkofdchk 2mo agoYes yes I know this contains sodium laureth sulfate what else have you got?
- david-gpu 2mo agoAqua and sodium chloride. Because saying water and salt doesn't sound posh enough, somehow.
- pasc1878 2mo agoNo it is diversity. The ingredients have to be understandable by non English speakers – so water is out. As for salt which one?
- zerr 2mo agoCocamidopropyl betaine is a must for me.
- maguay 2mo agoThere are dozens of us!
- jareklupinski 2mo agothat explains Dr Bronner's branding
- Retr0id 2mo agoIf pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.
- echelon 2mo agoThe reason we have declining birth rates is phones. It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule. The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for long term fulfillment in another person. Always just more dopamine. Settling down isn't good because we're trained on short form gratification loops. The spy devices enforce conformance too. Nobody takes risks and parties. Looking foolish will be shared and shamed. People get sucked into these closed off hyper critical portals where everyone sees a highlight reel, questions themselves, and adapts to the performance culture status quo. This is worse than either Brave New World or 1984. It's an almost fitting handoff that our species goes into decline as the robots begin to take over. Our species can't be just scaffolding right? We're kind of doing our best to prove that we are.
- KerryJones 2mo agoIve read quite a bit, including one of my favorite articles, "It's probably the phones": https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/honestly-its-probably-the-phones https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/honestly-its-probably-the-phon... But then you kind of dove into the deepend there. Spy devices, 1984, etc. I think a more tempered approach is useful here
- hnhg 2mo agoYour great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite. You make some really good points, but I feel they are a result of a greed-pilled, mean-spirited and individualistic-to-the-point-of-self-harm culture we're all sadly living under rather than the underlying cause.
- hacker_88 2mo agoMeanwhile Greeks .. "what's up buddy"
- lacoolj 2mo agoObvious, and yet will be ignored Also, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)
- squidbeak 2mo agoIs it really possible that yours splatters as much as that? Couldn't you wear a polythene kilt?
- pbhjpbhj 2mo agoSurely whatever is aerosolised gets over your body and clothing too - so your phone would be less dirty than the rest of you, except the parts you washed with soap. Would be interesting to see a study on this, not my instinct is mobile phone use whilst sitting on the toilet doesn't increase germ exposure in any measurable way.
- dahart 2mo ago> it’s nasty … add fecal matter … you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes in the air? Mine does, but I like to aim in the bowl. You’re not pooing in handstand pose, are you? No, wait, you’re right - just think - if you can smell it, you’re putting anus molecules directly in your nose. ;) In all seriousness, thinking poop is in the air and getting on your phone is FUD. That’s not happening in detectable or meaningful amounts. If poop was in the air enough to get on your phone, then your phone would be the last of your worries, it would be everywhere, you’d already be breathing it, it would be on your face and clothes, it would be escaping the bathroom, and everyone everywhere would be sick. That’s not happening. Touching bathroom surfaces is a bigger concern by orders of magnitude, and personal hygiene is much bigger than that by more orders of magnitude - the only thing you need to worry about in practice is what you touch and whether you wash your hands, and you can alleviate the majority of issues touching things by grabbing one square of TP to touch things with…
- pmarreck 2mo agoThere's also showering. (But I've taken to playing music in the shower with a waterproof boombox. Bluetooth'd from my phone, of course.) And of course, sleeping. ;) But there is something to this. Intuitive ideas come to you in the quiet moments.
- jhfdbkofdchk 2mo ago"Oh! I'm so sorry I must have missed it when you got your PhD in defecation."
- huhtenberg 2mo agoBack when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!
- Revisional_Sin 2mo ago> Yet, lo and behold, we survived! The article isn't claiming it'll kill you...
- Citizen_Lame 2mo agoArticle isn't claiming anything substantial, it is in fact pointless.
- elendilm 2mo agoThat brings back so many good memories that were forgotten.
- thenthenthen 2mo agoI totally still do this! The random nonsense and just lists of ingredients make me relaxed.
- mrweasel 2mo agoWe learned Finish from the back of shampoo bottles.
- classified 2mo agoDid you mean Finnish?
- tartoran 2mo agoThat is a real phenomena for a chunk of the population but I'm trying to understand what it is. Is it ADHD?
- reactordev 2mo agoOn the other hand, it's the only time I have a few minutes to actually check my phone...
- throw93940r00 2mo agoThis must be GenX version of boomers "you are poor because you buy coffees". I need my phone for work, not because of some addictive distraction. I do not do meditative "quiet reflection" on shitty toilet, I have nice space for that!
- anonymars 2mo agoUsing your phone to do work even in the bathroom is a strange brag
- veidelis 2mo agoI don't believe in planning when to stare at the wall. I just do it when I feel like it - whenever - sometimes family members are around. Be reasonably spontaneous - you'll calibrate on you're own. Don't be afraid. Breathe, baby!
- trencedamp 2mo agoIf you want a third reason, sitting too long gives you piles
- Deebster 2mo agoThat's the third reason given in the article (hemorrhoids == piles).
- trencedamp 2mo agooops
- 01100011 2mo agoPooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it. I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.
- brtkwr 2mo agoYes, the only other closest parallel is maybe giving birth without reducing the intensity of an experience of child birth…
- conmod278 2mo ago> pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans GRRM chose that vulnerable moment to kill off a character.
- retired 2mo agoI remember Nintendo doing a commercial about that!
- dpark 2mo agoWe address the vulnerability by retreating to a private space. The phones come out just to address boredom. Sitting on the toilet is boring. > I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet. Right. People spending 30 minutes sitting on the toilet are clearly not feeling all that vulnerable. But, yeah. Don’t do that.
- minifridge 2mo agoYou are not alone! Starting with Freud and the anal stage, many psychologists have concerned themselves and linking this not with sexual but with mortal aspect of the human condition
- goobatrooba 2mo agoAnd yet the toilet is one of the most connected places in the house. I love this BBC "Thinking Allowed" podcast episode on toilets that makes the point powerfully: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03vgf4m https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03vgf4m
- maipen 2mo agoThe bathroom is the modern day phone booth. Its the perfect place to read hacker news’s first page.
- overtone1000 2mo agolol, great closing line
- Cider9986 2mo agoAlso raise your feet.
- FunnyLookinHat 2mo ago"You need to be bored" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orQKfIXMiA8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orQKfIXMiA8 This is harder than ever - I've always got the urge (no pun intended to the original post) to start a new worktree, keep the agents unblocked, or write down a new idea. I've started going on silent drives to help - 2 lane roads for an hour or so, just staring ahead and thinking about nothing and everything. I'll reward myself with a podcast on the way back from wherever my "could be anywhere" destination is.
- jrflo 2mo agoThis is the thing I've become increasingly radicalized about. I built an app (link below if you're curious, it's $5 [1]) to cure my particular brand of phone addiction. I've been using my phone for probably ~1hr per day for the last 6 months and I've realized how many ills of our society today can be traced back to phones and social media. Political polarization, misinformation, mental illness, the loneliness epidemic, brain-rot - we'd be in a very different place if we could moderate our use of this technology more. The thing I've come to realize is that when I look at my phone it's so boring now, and that's how it should be. [1]: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/scrolless-feed-blocker/id6758870122 https://apps.apple.com/us/app/scrolless-feed-blocker/id67588...
- VCFundedGenYer 2mo agoThis article has clearly forgotten the past. People would read magazines, newspapers, nearby bottles of things, etc. The phone part is irrelevant.
- wxw 2mo agoHow else will I read HN?
- anthropodie 2mo ago> there's probably microscopic fecal particles on every surface in there. And there's no way your phone is making it out unscathed. Precisely the reason I stopped using phone in the toilet.
- joemazerino 2mo agoBathroom readers are a staple here.
- tehologist 2mo agoWTF, growing up I read and always kept a book or magazine in the restroom. I fail to see the difference.
- dt3ft 2mo agoBack in the day, old newspapers were used as toilet paper. It was a ceremony for my late cousin to cut the newspapers into blocks and neatly pack them in the outdoor toilet. You’d have a choice of some water from a bottle, and the old newspapers. A company of a few flies and no light. But when you went in there while the sun was out, reading whatever was on the cutouts was the obvious thing to do. Not just stare at the cracks in the wooden door in front of you.
- BLKNSLVR 2mo agoMy parents had the Desiderata 'poem' on the back of the toilet door when I was growing up, so I read it a thousand times. Being older and reading it again, it's a beautiful sentiment and something that, I think, seeped into my subconscious and made me a better person. My favorite line: "You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here" https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
- tigerlily 2mo agoOh, thank you, what a lovely choice of text. I wonder if your parents meant for you to read it? My sister mentioned to me recently she has a print of Wild Geese by Mary Oliver on the back of her bathroom door. Your quotation made me think of her poem. https://allpoetry.com/poem/15374223-Wild-geese-by-Mary-J-Oliver https://allpoetry.com/poem/15374223-Wild-geese-by-Mary-J-Oli...
- BLKNSLVR 2mo agoThat's beautiful!
- niek_pas 2mo agoFor those interested in some of the science behind the idea of “being bored is good”: the google-phrase you are looking for is “default mode network”.
- throwaway613746 2mo ago[dead]
- icase 2mo agoi’ve never understood this. how long does it take people to poo that they need to bring something to do?!
- franze 2mo agoI have Stiftung Warentest Yearly Editions from 2020 to now there. My guests stay for ages.
- mkirsten 2mo agoOh shit
- rambojohnson 2mo agooh boy... how about you don't do it.
- hn5xz7plcj 2mo ago[dead]
- herpdyderp 2mo agoI accomplish this brain offload in the shower. I’ve found some of my best solutions as shower thought.
- mproud 2mo agoThere were (and still are?) bathroom reader books. My parents leave copies of The New Yorker, Newsweek, and Nat Geo in their bathroom.
- gertlex 2mo agoMy main take in this area is that reading HN/Reddit actively makes it harder to get the business done. Certain phone games seem way better. My more general hypothesis is that generally reading interesting stuff is too engaging, and the brain needs to relax "just right".
- pessimizer 2mo agoDon't use your phone while you poop if you're a phone addict like this person and their demographic, and you need to create an artificial excuse for you to stop constantly touching it. I almost only use my phone when I poop, for flashcards. Guarantees me at least 5-10 minutes a day, and encourages me to relax (i.e. not strain) and not hurry the process. I might pick it up again at night when I'm getting tired to do more flashcards so I don't accidentally start something that will keep me up because I don't want to stop it in the middle. So almost exclusively on the toilet and before bed (oh no!). My advice is don't smoke crack when you poop if you're a crackhead. In fact, any space you can open during which you are not smoking crack is good if you're a crackhead. Also, sitting on the toilet doesn't give you hemorrhoids. Straining on the toilet gives you hemorrhoids. If your diet forces you to take a long time, you'll strain to hurry it up (or it may simply be unavoidable.) If you already have hemorrhoids, you'll take longer on the toilet (thereby associating long periods on the toilet with hemorrhoids.) Simply sitting on the toilet and letting things gently happen is not a bad thing, and also probably something that a person who is on their phone every minute of the day attending to beeps (and being filled with worry when it is not beeping) can't conceive of.
- firefoxd 2mo agoIf Hank had a Smartphone, Heisenberg would still be on the loose. What about reading poems?
- alsetmusic 2mo agoAges ago, I let my partner borrow my first iPad after I'd upgraded. She'd take it into the bathroom. I never touched it because of that and I probably cleaned it when she gave it back to me.
- funkattack 2mo agoWhen the bowel moves, let the mind move with it, and let nothing else abide.
- i_am_a_peasant 2mo agoI had all my dinosaur books always on the bathroom floor waiting.
- drnick1 2mo agoHN readership and comments would greatly decline if people did not usr their phones in the can.
- ivolimmen 2mo agoYes I was pooping while reading this
- wcfrobert 2mo agoAnother reset tip I've implemented to great success is to drive in complete silence. No music, no podcast, no radio. This way, I've turned my daily commute into a kind of meditation practice. At first, you'll think about a million random things, and the 20 minute commute turns into a 40 minute commute mentally. Often you'll zone out and replay argument, write essays in your head. But if you try to relax and concentrate, after a while, you'll start to be more present and notice pedestrians, weird signs, potholes, restaurant you've never paid attention to, different types of overpasses, etc. Another fun exercise: every once in a while, I flip a coin and if it lands head, I'll allow myself to listen to music, and the music becomes a treat again rather than random background noise! It's great and I've added so many more songs to my playlist because I actually notice them
- xnx 2mo agoI guess my diet/physiology must be different from y'all? I might be sitting down for 1 minute tops.
- bvan 2mo agoWhat has Hacker News come to… sigh..
- OutOfHere 2mo agoPlease sanitize your phone's back side each weekend. 70% ethanol or isopropyl alcohol works reasonably, although it won't kill everything.
- theturtle 2mo ago[dead]
- blks 2mo agoI think the biggest issue with phone (as well as book) is that it lets you sit on the bog for a prolonged time which is terrible for anal health.
- johnea 2mo agoThank You! Thank you very much... This has much less to do with taking a shit, than it does with sitting and quietly thinking to yourself. This idea that you need to be constantly receiving some external input, and that just sitting and thinking is "boring", is really the primary symptom of internet brain damage. Yes, there used to be National Geographic in the bathroom. and the people of that era weren't internet brain damaged, they were TV brain damaged. The barrage of electronic media assaulting our senses has led to the biggest decline in individual human thought, ever. So, go take a dump, and don't take your phone...
- fzxu22 2mo agoI poop for like 30 seconds so not very useful
- xtiansimon 2mo ago> “…there's probably microscopic fecal particles on every surface…” I took a five-day food safety course. They suggested using single use sanitizing wipes on your phone after visiting the WC.
- veidr 2mo agoThis is stupid. There is no better time to use your phone than when taking a shit. For years, that was the only context in which I read Twitter, and that still holds true today for the various things that replaced Twitter for me. The toilet is a fine place to peruse this website, too. It's pretty hard to do anything to excess if you only do it there. Instead of trying to be present and think valuable thoughts while shitting, I recommend doing that while not shitting. Make a habit of taking walks. Maybe learn to do mindfulness meditation. Clean the kitchen in silence. There are really a lot of better options than locking yourself in a small room with only your thoughts and your feces.