39 ms·

I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

• altitudinous 6y ago
  A writer is having a mid-life crisis?
• TehShrike 6y ago
  I chuckled
• umvi 6y ago
  Paradoxically, when I had all the time in the world I frittered it away on video games and the internet. Now that I have multiple kids and my time is extremely constrained, I am very efficient with my time usage. I listen to audiobooks while doing the dishes. I plan in my mind exactly which programming tasks I want to accomplish as soon as the kids are in bed so that I can do them quickly and still have time to spend with my wife.
  • ed25519FUUU 6y ago
    A mentor once told me “if you want something done quickly, give it to a busy person”
    • _alex_ 6y ago
      Wow. That is a great line.
    • andi999 6y ago
      Thats Parkinson's law phrased very nicely.
    • benc666 6y ago
      reminds me of another one: nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. For me it just pushes the point that every situation is a negotiation.
  • hinkley 6y ago
    If you have twenty minutes now, and don’t know when you’ll get another twenty minutes, why not do it now? When you have hours and hours available for the rest of the week, why fret about it? You have so many other opportunities ahead.
    • DoreenMichele 6y ago
      Alternately: When you have a wife and kids and job you like, a lot of your most important needs are well met -- if you can keep juggling everything. Someone with hours and hours to do nothing likely isn't getting laid, isn't making much money, isn't intellectually gratified, etc. So you play games to occupy yourself to keep from going bonkers.
      • tidbits 6y ago
        People underestimate how incredibly hard it is to pull yourself out of habits born from socioeconomic factors. Video games give you an alternate reality, likely much better than your own.
        • DoreenMichele 6y ago
          It wasn't a criticism of video games and if you are suggesting I am underestimating something, I got myself off the street a few years ago of my own efforts. I still play plenty of videogames. It's something I can drop at will as I get my act together, make the connections I need to make, etc. I like games and my kids always joked "Video games are our only education." But the reality is I would rather have a life and if I had more of a life, that fact would drive a lot of my activities and there simply wouldn't be time -- or need -- to play games for hours.
          • benc666 6y ago
            You're so right - video games shouldn't even have been mentioned. As human ingenuity goes, there's infinite ways to "waste time". I've spent many hours with the family playing MineCraft, and it's an amazing way to teach things like not being selfish, being cooperative, etc. to children because they experience the effects or lack of in compacted real time without permanent real-world impact.
  • renjimen 6y ago
    I’m very nostalgic about the countless hours I frittered away on video games and the internet as an adolescent. Part of me thinks it made me the person I am today, who I am proud of. I recently joined a Counter Strike team with work and had some of the most fun times I can think of recently. I compare that with the time I put aside to learn 3D modelling, which was fun in its own way but required more self motivation and the satisfaction took a lot more time to achieve. It made me question what society accepts as a valid way to spend spare time, as well as the purpose of how we spend our spare time.
    • core-questions 6y ago
      > It made me question what society accepts as a valid way to spend spare time Well, to be brutally honest with you, it's one thing for you to be proud of yourself for playing video games, but why would anyone else see that as something pride-worthy? Typically, one takes justifiable pride for accomplishments that stand up to external scrutiny. That usually comes in the form of the accomplishment having an element of sacrifice, of pain and difficulty, of opportunity costs paid, and of a result that stands on its own as something not everyone can do. I am proud of some of my adventures; proud of some of my work; proud of some of the artistic things I have created. None of them are extremely amazing in the grand scheme of things, and I don't let any of it get to my head, but they do give me stories to tell at the bar that aren't dismissed with a wave of the hand as being frittered-away time. Video games, on the other hand, are not exactly grand sacrificial effort. I can't imagine telling someone I was proud of myself for spending a few hours killing orcs on a screen while eating processed snack food alone in my underwear. > as well as the purpose of how we spend our spare time. It's only "spare" if you've really satisfied yourself in your best judgement of what you could otherwise be doing. I like to put Slack and Laziness on a continuum. Laziness is putting things off, avoiding important tasks, pawning them off on others, rationalizing why you shouldn't bother, finding easier ways out even if the end result isn't as good, cutting corners. From the article: > I was supposed to renew my car registration today. I haven’t opened the Web site. That's classic laziness. Sure, the consequences can be dealt with later, a day or two without driving won't be the end of the world, but it also took about as much effort to write this self-effacing article as it would have to just renew the insurance and move on. Slack, on the opposite side of the spectrum (and before the word was co-opted by a program that ironically takes up all possible Slack), is free time that you carve out of the world with your actions. Slack is arranging things so that you have time to relax, time to "surf down the luck plane" that you have created for yourself, so that you can allow things to proceed knowing that at the end of the slope, you're not actually in a worse off position than when you started. Slack is paid vacation time, where laziness is unemployment. Slack is a glass of wine at the end of the day, laziness is beer for breakfast. Slack is sitting in the hot tub after you work out, laziness is sitting in the bathtub after you eat a microwaved dinner. Slack is posting on HN on a cloudy Saturday morning while the kids (with breakfast in their tummies) watch a bit of TV, laziness is posting on HN when you're supposed to be writing a program at 3:00 on a Thursday afternoon. Video games are something you can do in your slack time, or they're something you can do because you're lazy. That's the difference between a healthy hobby and a damaging addiction.
  • core-questions 6y ago
    This describes me very well. What the hell was I doing with all that time during my 20s? I wasn't out hiking up a storm, I wasn't making a lot of music, I wasn't out drinking with friends at every chance. I was inside doing nothing, shitposting online, watching trash TV that I can barely remember the plots of now. Work was productive, but when I went home, I left it at work... Relationship was stable, but I didn't max out every minute of it when I could... Now, as soon as the kids are in bed, virtually every scrap of time is used for something productive. Except, obviously, for lazy Saturday mornings posting on HN ;-)
  • late2part 6y ago
    I read this somewhere, I tried to find the source, and I'm sad I can't properly attribute it: When you are young, you trade time for money. When you are middle aged, you trade money for convenience. When you are old, you trade money for time.
  • ip26 6y ago
    Similar boat. I flip-flop between efficient time usage, and squandering my free time, because I'm so fried I just want to do nothing.
  • thinkharderdev 6y ago
    I've had a similar experience. There is something about scarcity of time that breeds discipline. Whenever I go through a period of life where I have to spend a huge amount of time on some particular task project I always think "man, when this is over I'm going to be able to use all this time to do X,Y,Z. It's gonna be great!" And then the project ends and I essentially waste all of my newly found free time. I end up accomplishing less, even on my side projects somehow.
  • yibg 6y ago
    Yea there seems to be some thing of a positive feedback loop that one can get into. I’ve experienced this multiple times too. When I had a boring and easy job I had all sorts of aspirations of doing a side business or learning some new stuff etc. I ended up doing none of that and mostly playing games instead. When I had a busy (but interesting) job I ended up doing side projects, socializing a lot more and generally being more productive outside of work. Something like momentum from one activity carrying through to others.
• samsquire 6y ago
  Get out there and write your ideas down. It's never too late to start. Edit. You have good ideas if you cultivate that skill of having ideas. Someday you'll find an idea you like that hasn't been done before and you'll kill it. At least that's what I tell myself :-)
• ed25519FUUU 6y ago
  Let me guess: liberal arts degree with tens of thousands (hundreds of thousands?) in loans. Living in an extremely expensive city. Dating other unserious romantic people with no plans for a family, who could afford one anyway? I wish we (and people in similar situations) were more honest about these bad decisions. We need to warn our young people against falling into similar traps. It’s not victim blaming, it’s just honesty about what’s happening.
  • hinkley 6y ago
    Not All English Majors. I had a friend in college who had a way with words and was an activist. But her dream was as a fiction writer, and last I checked in on her she has gotten nowhere with that. The things she could have accomplished writing nonfiction... You know how we sometimes don’t talk to childhood friends because they saw a better or more hopeful version of us and it’s too painful to think what the person we were would think of the person we’ve become? Turns out that goes both ways sometimes, and the reason you haven’t heard from them might be that they don’t want to remind you either. It would be cruel, maybe even dishonor the time we had together.
  • pell 6y ago
    I don't think this really is limited to liberal arts and big city urban life. I know this group might be highly represented but you have many other types of people who struggle with the exact same problems.
    • throwaway0a5e 6y ago
      Not everyone who gets lung cancer smokes but it's a hell of a risk factor. A lot of debt without a clear "shovel ready" career path to pay it off combined with a high cost of living sure isn't a recipe for a fulfilling life outside of work and if your work doesn't do it for you you're SOL at that point.
  • zahma 6y ago
    Liberal arts degrees aren’t for everyone, but I sure wish more people understood the teachings of history, sociology, philosophy, and the arts. It’s also telling that in this economy the jobs available to young people are increasingly condensed into unlivable metropolises. I don’t have any answers to all my questions, but I know something’s not balanced in this equation.
• cmukka 6y ago
  It seems really bad that I relate to parts of this even though I am still not 25. I mean things are good with me, I am grateful for everything I have. But once in a while I just feel really empty and that I could be doing way more that I am doing right now rather than lazing around. We are a weird generation for sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • jermeh 6y ago
    I definitely am in the same boat as you. My day to day life is great - good job, financially stable, good relationship, even play in a couple bands (when there's not a pandemic inhibiting us from peforming). But there constantly feels like something is missing. Most days I have 4-6 hours of time that is spent doing near nothing. In the back of my mind is always "I should be doing x project" or "I should be practicing y skill" and then I end up feeling guilty just for relaxing. I always go back and forth between "It's totally okay to be lazy. You have a life that affords it." and "If you want to be truly great at something, you need to work for it." The challenging part seems to be finding the healthy medium between the two, which is about where the author feels too, I think.
    • jpxw 6y ago
      You need to relax. Don’t burn out
• yowlingcat 6y ago
  I know that this is a genre of American millennial/Gen X mid-life crisis clickbait, but it reminds me a lot of journal entries I wrote when I was not very invested in the present moment. I'd either look forward into the future or backwards into the past. But eventually I got tired of doing that, of measuring accomplishments, of basically robbing myself of the joy of experiencing life. Some of this can be attributed to time and life experience. Some of it maybe can be attributed to me not handling American cities so well. The most important change started when I began to travel. Just spending a bit of time in Europe showed this neurotic American with overachiever tendencies so much about how to relax and live a little. It was a complete shock to the system, and in a very good way. It forced me to address -- at that moment -- how would I live life and enjoy it if I didn't have my career and "accomplishments" and lived in a society where most people derive fulfillment outside of that? I began to realize that my life was full of many proverbial Michelin-star rated meals that I was wolfing down like a burger -- that's no way to go about things! Being back stateside, I guess I appreciate that even more because I once again recognize how very much abnormal that is in much of the country. I have to catch myself because it's so easy to slip back into keeping up with Jones who live inside my head.
• seveibar 6y ago
  This essay expresses the futility of ambition against distraction as well as the unproductive cycle of comparing yourself to others as a means of understanding your potential. I have certainly felt this way, and I imagine many do. I take comfort in the idea that the world (and our lives) are constantly rocked by random circumstance and opportunity, and while there is a lot one can do to maximize our realized potential, we can't be completely responsible for our fulfillment.
  • throw_this_one 6y ago
    You’re saying that comparison steals us of the natural energy of curiosity and “just doing it”?
    • CarelessExpert 6y ago
      Succinctly put! I can't count the number of times I've considered starting a project or something and thought "Nah, those guys did it better, I'll never be that good, what's the point..." Or: why we spend too much time focused on goals and accomplishments instead of effort, perseverance, and the joy of the journey.
      • throw_this_one 6y ago
        Yup. Actually for me it’s mainly the fear of doing something trite, that’s already been done a million times. I always think “oh what’s the point, this has been done before”. But I’m starting to think that everybody hits that stage. People great at what they do hit it, keep pushing out of either strong will or just curiosity, and end up making it (or a facet of it) their own.
• voidhorse 6y ago
  Funny piece. It can be so easy to waste time when we have the internet. I think the most dangerous distractions are the ones that feel productive but don’t actually work toward your goals. For example, browsing hacker news. Such an activity is useful every now and then, but at least for myself I often scroll around only to realize later that it was a massive waste of time I could’ve spent working on something I care about. I think the brain justifies it since hey, at least I’m “learning” something (not really). Even something like an addictive videogame is designed to make you feel productive by giving you levels to progress through etc—fundamentally I think we all have a desire to produce, it’s just easy to spend time putting that energy into the wrong forms of productive activity, since these are usually easier and less isolating than actually producing crafts or products.
  • bjo590 6y ago
    I find browsing hackernews to be one of the more beneficial activities I can do for 5-20 minutes as a break between more mentally taxing activities. Meditation, going for a walk, getting a snack or a drink, and a quick chat with a friend are other activities I consider both beneficial and short duration.
    • etrautmann 6y ago
      Yep, I rarely think of HN reading time as wasted afterwards.
      • pensiveharsh 6y ago
        Perhaps you haven't spent an absurd amount of time on HN
        • snazz 6y ago
          Yeah, I agree that 5-20 minutes is purely beneficial, but it can be more addictive than that.
        • TeMPOraL 6y ago
• WD-42 6y ago
  Well you got published in the New Yorker, so there’s that.
• altitudinous 6y ago
  I'm in my 50's and I read less now, it's because writers are now younger than me and they tell stories I've already lived. I suspect all older folk might feel the same? Writing is for the young? Being published is for the young?
  • borroka 6y ago
    That's the time when you switch to reading dead authors, who are blessed by the wisdom given to those with us no more.
  • everybodyknows 6y ago
    Authors your age are still writing. Highly recommended: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/08/24/cicadia https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/08/24/cicadia
    • neonate 6y ago
      That story is about teenagers, which kind of reinforces the GP's point. It's good though!
  • Insanity 6y ago
    This highly depends on the genre of what you read of course. I suppose you haven't lived a "space opera" no matter what your age is. :-)
• dmreedy 6y ago
  I've been thinking a lot lately about a line from the movie Master and Commander, a euology (though perhaps not much 'eu' about it) for a dead character. "The simple truth is, not all of us become the men we once hoped we might be" Spoken by a character who very much has. I don't really have much comment beyond that.
  • joelbluminator 6y ago
    Well yeah, good movie. The simple truth is almost all of us short fall of what we wanted to be in some ways.
• exabrial 6y ago
  This hits me in the feels. 36.
• picodguyo 6y ago
  Funny and all too familiar, especially during Covid. For a 700+ page take on this theme, check out The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. If you finish it, you'll at least feel like you accomplished something worthwhile.
• TaupeRanger 6y ago
  From Taleb's "Antifragile": "Abundance is harder for us to handle than scarcity.If tired after an intercontinental flight, go to the gym for some exertion instead of resting. Also, it is a well known trick that if you need something urgently done, give the task to the busiest (or second busiest) person in the office. Most humans manage to squander their free time, as free time makes them dysfunctional, lazy, and unmotivated - the busier they get, the more active they are at other tasks."
  • CarelessExpert 6y ago
    > the busier they get, the more active they are at other tasks. Wow does that ever ring true for me right now... Over the last couple of months I've had some major work items at about 80% complete but just couldn't find the motivation to push them over the line. I'd have free time but I'd always waste it. A couple weeks ago, an exec came to me and a couple of colleagues and asked us for a major assignment to be complete in two weeks. At first I balked but after thinking it through I saw an obvious path and bore down. The work was fast and furious and with the deadline looming I put in late nights and used all my free time to get the work done. It was incredibly satisfying! But a weird thing happened: I suddenly got motivated to finish those other assignments and knocked off a number of them in short order. Somehow I've gotten back into the mental headspace of just knocking tasks off my to-do list and I find the momentum keeps me going. I always knew that about myself--my productivity has always been very spikey--but this experience was truly eye opening.
  • nonbirithm 6y ago
    > the busier they get, the more active they are at other tasks. Not at all my experience. I hate not feeling unproductive and so spend almost 100% of my free time programming open source projects. But I seem to be unable to care about anything else, and there are long periods of time where I cabnot bring myself to do anything else besides keep working on these projects until 2 in the morning - so-called hyperfocus. As a result I keep feeling exhausted when it comes to anything besides working on said projects, and the first thing I do when not thinking of anything is to gravitate back to them at the expense of everything else. The most trivial things like cleaning my room or even eating a proper lunch become an unbearable slog if I'm in the middle of something important, and sometimes I just skip over them entirely. I believe this is making me a shallow person because I have no understanding of literally anything else, and is also keeping me in this bubble where there's so much more to life which would be fulfilling that I will never see, but at the same time I just can't bring myself to care about much else that isn't a productive activity. I can't have it both ways, even though I constantly say I should be doing things that aren't productive like playing video games or watching television, and then shoot them down immediately because I feel like I'm not creating anything. I will tell myself that those are the kind of things that humanity usually squanders its free time on, and that I'm not about to fall into that trap. In the example, if someone gave me that paper to fill out while I was busy and I don't care about filling out the paper, I wouldn't fill out the paper. Not unless my paycheck and continued survival depend on it. It does not feel like I chose my hobbies, it feels like they chose me.
• sneak 6y ago
  “I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.” —Kurt Vonnegut
  • chesneyc 6y ago
    I recently read an article on HN where someone mentioned that they saw a guy sitting on a bicycle just talking to a friend, he then lost his footing and hit his head on the ground and died.The commenter then wrote "We're just farts in the wind". Now I understand the reference!
• johnwheeler 6y ago
  One key to a good life is low expectations. Most of the people I know who are unhappy thought they were going to be more than they are now, and some of them carried the naive arrogance around with them all their lives until reality smacked them upside the head.
  • spzb 6y ago
    I don't know you but apparently you know me.
  • thevirtuoso1973 6y ago
    There is a difference between arrogance and dissatisfaction. I will attribute _most_ of my successes to the latter and all of my failures to the former.
  • TeeWEE 6y ago
    This is key. I would recommend anyone to go to a poorer area in the world and meet the locals... they value things you take for granted so much more. It made me value things I take for granted much more... like running water... or streets that don't stink like trash... family... I took them for granted.
  • ISO-morphism 6y ago
    I really like Happiness = Reality - Expectations. Advocating for low expectations is usually criticized as laziness when targeted at oneself or pessimism when targeted at others. But I think that criticism happens when we conflate expectations and aspirations, when we set our target as our baseline. On that note, exercising gratitude (counting your blessings) is a wonderful tool for teasing apart expectations and aspirations. Acknowledging that something you have is good enough to make you happy implicitly informs you that expectations have already been exceeded even if you aspire for more.
  • math_denial 6y ago
    But how do you develop this kind of mindset?
• vp8989 6y ago
  The malaise of the over-educated median person who has not yet come to terms with what they really are.
• gonzo41 6y ago
  Don't worry, history is littered with NPC's, maybe you don't know it but you could be one of them. Also this person daily schedule reads like someone with mild depression.
• zrm 6y ago
  We recently had a big wind storm. Trees down everywhere, power went out. Fine, whatever, start the generator and it's back to being Tuesday. Wasn't just the power, also Comcast. Fine, whatever, tether to my phone. Wait, no service. Cell tower was out too. Had no internet at all for four days. I think I got more done in that time with a flashlight and pen and paper than I do in a typical month.
  • burlesona 6y ago
    This is so true. I have a difficult love/hate relationship with technology, and the internet in particular. Life is so much more social and in some ways enjoyable when the power is out. And yet I wouldn’t have my career or so much of my life without the internet. It’s difficult for me to imagine what it was like for people who grew up and worked their whole career without it, but I imagine that a much larger percentage of their working relationships and friendships were (by necessity) face to face, and by comparison richer and deeper than the mostly online connections I’ve grown up with.
  • cercatrova 6y ago
    What kinds of stuff did you accomplish? I do most work on the computer, with the internet, so just wondering what I could do if I had neither that was still productive for that type of work, like for example programming.
• andi999 6y ago
  To me as an armchair psychologist, this sounds more like that the author should get a check for ADHD with depression as a co-morbitity.
  • andi999 6y ago
    Honestly, while the essay sounds ironic and funny, if it is not all made up, it is far from healthy.
  • afarrell 6y ago
    Easier said than done. The most important prerequisites to getting successful treatment for ADHD are the abilities to: - Stay focused while shopping for a psychiatrist for a problem that fills you with a sense of despair. - Make appointments and consistently attend them. - Clearly and persuasively explain to your loved ones how important it is to you for them to fill in a description of their memories of your childhood symptoms... and hope you weren't inattentive subtype. Spending hours reading history books isn't memorably annoying to parents like hyperactivity. - Keep an organised record of the impacts of medication as you go through titration. - Deal effectively with the administrative complexity of either health insurance or a new country's healthcare system. (See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKUdadCsuRE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKUdadCsuRE)
    • andi999 6y ago
      I agree it is easier said than one. First microstop would be trying to get a professional diagnosis.
  • martin_balsam 6y ago
    The daily shout is the humor section of the New Yorker. I wouldn’t take it too seriously
• arsahraei 6y ago
  What a punch line! I couldn't stop laughing when I got to "I literally just turned forty-two while I was thinking this"
• adityamehta1990 6y ago
  It felt like I read a mini version of Brave New World.
• mrwnmonm 6y ago
  three waffles? no way
  • throwaway0a5e 6y ago
    If he's using one of those mini waffle makers three sounds like a reasonable meal.
• pmoriarty 6y ago
  A lot of people would give absolutely anything to be 35 again.
  • DoreenMichele 6y ago
    And some of us would rather gnaw our left arm off than be 35 again.
  • deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
    • magma17 6y ago
      That's delusional. Besides, it's impossible to see the future.
• werber 6y ago
  I feel like I read a roughly equal amount of words now, but i jump between a million things and rarely finish a book, the great American novel never flowed out of me either and i still haven’t become fluent in French meh
• tmsh 6y ago
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24120275 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24120275 has helped me a lot with procrastination already (the video and discussion and the original blogpost)
• kylewins 6y ago
  damn this one hits Hard!!!
• DelightOne 6y ago
  https://github.com/golang/go/blob/dev.go2go/src/cmd/go2go/testdata/go2path/src/chans/chans.go2#L35 https://github.com/golang/go/blob/dev.go2go/src/cmd/go2go/te... A general question. Is there a reason to add those arguments instead of just using them directly inside the goroutine and so passing the arguments implicitly?
  • jamespwilliams 6y ago
    I think you posted this comment on the wrong post, but anyway: In this case, no, and it's actually slightly inefficient to pass those variables as arguments, because a copy of the argument has to be made. This copying matters more if the argument is a big struct or another large value. However often it is useful to use arguments, for example when calling a goroutine in a loop. For example: for i := 0; i < 10; i++ { go func() { fmt.Println(i) }() } vs for i := 0; i < 10; i++ { go func(i int) { fmt.Println(i) }(i) } have different behaviours, because the first receives the (changing) `i` variable itself, whereas the second receives a copy of `i` at each iteration. The second behaviour is often the behaviour we actually want. Something like for i := 0; i < 10; i++ { i := i go func() { fmt.Println(i) }() } also works as expected.
    • DelightOne 6y ago
      Ah I didnt realize I had the wrong post open, it was supposed to be on the Go Generics examples post. Thank you that makes sense!
• komali2 6y ago
  Man, hits home. 2020 is a bad year for 29, feel like the last of my twenties was stolen from me. I have so many things I wanna do, always wanted to do. Some of it I got done! Like becoming an engineer, creating a decent career for myself, riding a motorcycle. Take a step back and look at my life and it's pretty much golden, I could coast for the remainder of it and live better than 99% of humankind throughout the ages. But it's not enough of course, cause I'm human and it never is. I want to start a business. I want to read every philosophy book ever. I want to solve consciousness. I want to be fluent in chinese, japanese, french, spanish, know enough vietnamese to fuck with people when I'm there. I want to be a god tier engineer, one of those strings-together-unix-tools-on-a-whim types that turns around and shits out an android app after, I want to be able to do high level math, I want to understand and contribute to physics, I want to invent AI, I want to be good at chess, I want to be a decent music producer. Jesus, look at that list. That's probably 25% of the things I really truly want for myself. Unrealistic? Probably. But am I living up to my potential right now? No. Absolutely not. If there's anything I've learned there's always another level. Our ability to make the previously uncomfortable and impossible, comfortable, has so far to me seemed limitless. But how do I do those things? Making trello boards and tracking progress like my life is an agile project? Looking in the mirror and doing affirmations? Meditating? Yearly goal setting? For me the biggest obstacle is the day to day. Time slips away just like dude says in the article. Looking at memes, trolling Nazis on Twitter with said memes, dicking around on news.ycombinator and justifying it by saying to myself that sometimes I learn some cool stuff here. Is it always going to be a battle against the distractions? Always little tricks like uninstalling the Twitter app, logging out of it in my browser? Having a habit tracking app? Is reaching my potential going to take a series of millions of bandaids? That seems wrong but I don't know what else to do.
  • _ah 6y ago
    The biggest thing for you to realize is that you can absolutely do any of those things. But you can probably only do one or two of them. Spreading your efforts around is going to get you mediocre everything, which may be okay, but if you want to be truly excellent you need to focus and concentrate on what's important. Life is about prioritization. Somehow the message that "you can be anything you want" has gotten turned into "you can be everything you want" and that's just not realistic.
• jonnycomputer 6y ago
  This is amusing. But I wonder when it was that using curse like "fuck" became acceptable in publications like The New Yorker. I feel like it must have been in the last 10 years. Maybe fewer, like the last 4 or 5. I still don't approve. Of course if they are used just like any other words, then their taboo shine diminishes, and then the difference doesn't mean anything. Language is like that. But there has been a shift.
  • altitudinous 6y ago
    Yes, I do agree, use of the word feels lazy, poor form. There are trendy stand up comedians and trendy authors who base their entire brand on the use of the word. It is a desperate fall back position.
• plaidfuji 6y ago
  Great style and obviously relatable. At the risk of taking it too seriously, though, this piece reveals an all-too-common self-centered approach to goal-setting: "I wanted to found and sell a successful business by the time I was 35". "I wanted to have given a TED talk." These are just personal outcomes that are the by-products of doing something for society. The older I get, the more obvious it becomes that the founders and the TED-talkers of the world are the people whose goals were set in terms of how they specifically wanted to help others - "I wanted to bring better healthcare to Senegal", "I wanted to improve urban transportation". It was just happenstance that founding a business was the only way to get there, or conducting academic research was the first necessary step to solve the problem. Careers and jobs are just tools to affect real societal change; speaking engagements and awards are a symptom of having done something for the world. You can't start with these things as goals and work backwards - I mean, you can, but it requires an almost sociopathic drive for fame and recognition, and is far more likely to result in burnout.
• jonnycomputer 6y ago
  Is there a special word for the kind of procrastination you do by watching or reading productivity-porn?
  • geocrasher 6y ago
    Procrasturbation
    • ak39 6y ago
      Great word
• firefoxd 6y ago
  I recommend: On the shortness of life, by Seneca. I thought time management was a new problem because of the internet, hustle mentality, motivational porn, bill-gates comparison and whatnot. Here is a book written in the BC era for those struggling with just that. You can aim to be the best at something, but you can settle at being good enough with the result.
• k__ 6y ago
  I'm 35. When I look at the people I follow on social media, I feel bad, because they're much nore successful than me, often even much younger too. When I look at the people I meet in my daily life, I'm doing quite okay. I haven't set an alarm for work in years, can buy what I want without too much consideration, mostly work when I feel like it, and the work I do is often interesting.
  • vmception 6y ago
    And what kind of success do you think those younger people on social media have? Can you give an example of what you look at? Is that success something you want?
    • k__ 6y ago
      Don't know really. They got thousands of followers, people actually engage with them, their opinions are valued, etc.
      • vmception 6y ago
        Ah yeah opinions being valued is a good one I dabbled in thought leadership for a while, with a PR agent, and its nice to have a voice and really awesome google results but I didn’t/don't like being considered like a journalist on rare occasion In unrelated anonymous profiles (lifestyle/wealth/meme/model pages) I have used followers and engagement as currency. As in used to obtain goods and services. Its great because you never spend it and it works worldwide. But I prefer just having access to experiences without undermining my ability to obtain goods and services, food and shelter in the future. I mostly have that, and there is very little limitations I will consider in achieving that. It sounds like you have that.
    • neilalexander 6y ago
      The "success" that you see on social media is probably exaggerated at any rate.
      • 6y ago
• IAmGraydon 6y ago
  There’s a difference between what you think you want and what you really want. I think people generally work toward what they really want. If you aren’t progressing toward your goals because you’re busy doing other things, you really want those other things more.
• PragmaticPulp 6y ago
  I've been mentoring CS college students and new grad SWEs for a while. It's shocking to see how many of them perpetually feel like they're overwhelmed and short on time, yet they can't account for where they've actually spent their time. It's not uncommon for new grad SWEs to complain that an 8-hour work day is somehow consuming 100% of their weekday hours, leaving them without any time to do anything else. On further investigation, they're just being pulled into Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, TV, and video games for far more time than they realize. It's almost like those activities are subtracting 6+ hours out of their day without them realizing it. Nobody likes to be told that they're wasting their free time, but I've had mild success encouraging people to use basic time tracking utilities like the Screen Time feature in iOS. It's eye-opening to watch people estimate their daily screen time around 30 minutes and then be shocked when their reports come back at 2-3 hours or more. Of course, some amount of leisure activity is necessary throughout the day. It's important to not shame people for spending time on things they enjoy (Hacker News, video games, Reddit, Twitter), but it is important that they can be honest with themselves about how much time they're spending on those activities. Measuring time spent in leisure activities is the only real way to start closing the feedback loop. Structured procrastination (Spending 5 timed minutes out of every 30 minutes on leisure activities, aka Pomodoro technique) is a good way to start getting a handle on this.
  • aledalgrande 6y ago
    It is not just spending time on those sites/apps, it's the pressure society puts on them to get to the next step on the ladder. Perfect houses on Instagram. 24yo making 300K on Blind. 18yo on Youtube making 1M+. Even if you don't want to compare yourself to others, comparisons are everywhere. That adds cognitive load to the slow grind of getting started on a new job, and now 8 hours feel like 12, and at the same time the productivity trends tell them they "have not done enough today".
    • rwnspace 6y ago
      I think this effect is tough for anyone tuned to care what others think, and it tends to be rougher the younger you are. There's a significant lack of guidance in WEIRD societies about how to be a person, and this is topped off by the limited maturation rituals: learning to drive, first full-time job, graduating and buying a house come to mind - but we've somehow come to a consensus that putting a giant paywall in front of them and creating dependencies between them is fine. Putting it like that, it's no wonder that so many young people are staying home, whittling their time away on scraps of "advice" on how to get on in life. I've come to pity people who plug such "productivity" advice online, because I feel like they must be suppressing (or missing) an idea of the Good Life: a notion of using one's actions, or speech, to contribute to the common good. I'm hopeful newer generations in the West will have the nous to reject false idols like "productivity" or extreme wealth, but I think it's on us to expose the painful lessons learned as we're transitioning into a cyborg society.
• mistersquid 6y ago
  Personally, the unquestioned Ethos of Productivity characteristic of early 21st century Western Society is much more dangerous than the distractions which can sometimes fill unstructured time. The psychological rigidity and social sacrifices required of always being productive (with little to no unstructured leisure time) actively harms individuals and the societies in which they are embedded, perhaps to the exact extent they increase tangible and intangible forms of wealth.
  • watwut 6y ago
    I think it has to do with loneliness so many complain about. When being social is seen as waste of time useless thing, people dont socialize except in work. And that has consequences precisedly when yoi need friend the most or when work is highly competitive.
    • guenthert 6y ago
      Or when you find yourself between jobs.
  • 13415 6y ago
    I have a feeling this is even more damaging for Millenials, because they constantly compare themselves with the rest of the world. In a sense, even leisure has turned into competition. When I was in my teens a long time ago I did sports and learned classical guitar. If I had seen the acrobatics you see daily on Reddit or the "casual home musicians" on Youtube, I'd probably have given up all my efforts. Doing a backflip seems like the normal thing any guy should be able to do nowadays.
    • apacheCamel 6y ago
      Personally, I feel like I struggle with this a lot. Whether it be reading on here, or seeing it in the news, it is hard to not compare myself to a 20-something year old who just sold his/her company for hundreds of thousands of dollars while I sit around reading the stupid article and playing Dota or starting my millionth side project. It is easy to see that not everyone is going to do something like that, but I think it is really hard to internalize the fact that I am the one not doing that too. Then I get into this "well, won't be me anyway, so why bother" mood where I accomplish even less with my free time. I have urge to do more, but it is a vicious cycle sometimes.
• ur-whale 6y ago
  https://archive.is/zOvjZ https://archive.is/zOvjZ
• deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
• jgilias 6y ago
  This resonates a lot. One of the greatest realizations I've had is that there really is no other time than the present. The future never is, neither the past, it's only the present. So, if all we have and can interact with time-wise is the present moment, then everything you can actually do can only be done at each particular now. So, if you want to learn French, or Lisp, or riding a dirt bike, you can only ever actually do it, at some particular now. The trick then is to try and make sure somehow that for each particular now, you always have a clear idea of what it is that you should be doing. Otherwise you risk falling into the procrastination trap that can last as long as ones lifetime, as the article brilliantly demonstrates.
  • sanmon3186 6y ago
    You pretty much summarised “the power of now” by Eckhart Tolle.
    • jgilias 6y ago
      Haven't read it. Should I?
  • fodmap 6y ago
    'Here' and 'Now' as the characters in 'The Angel In The Clock', a cartoon movie to raise money to fight Cancer. https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_angel_in_the_clock https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_angel_in_the_clock
  • TeeWEE 6y ago
    I think the trick is not doing things now for a better future... but to enjoy now more. If enjoying now means playing a video game, or walking the dog, or bing watching Netflix.. that's completely fine. We should LIVE more in the now... not try to make the future you more happy. but the current you. If that is working hard and learning and trying to become rich, if that makes you happy that's fine too. What makes me happy is family, friends, seeing the world and building and learning about technology and playing with synthesizers... enjoy the current moment. ;-)
• abootstrapper 6y ago
  Everyone here is reading this article as a cautionary tale on procrastination. To me it’s about the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves. Maybe that’s due to our fake meritocratic society, or comparisons made on social media, or our parents expectations. I thought I’d be a millionaire by now, changing the world for the better, with a Wikipedia page and a yacht. But what I really want now is to put down the measuring stick, and be ok with being me. It’s time to stop beating myself up for not living up to the absurd expectations I set for myself as a child.
  • Item_Boring 6y ago
    I think so, too! Sometimes we should re-evaluate our expectations and think about what we really want and why we want it. Furthermore, I think it’s important to realise that others might have other motivations such as money, success, curiosity, altruism and so forth so there really is little need to compare ourselves to them. Most of us don’t have the energy to be productive all the time. It took a lot of work (ironically) for me to be okay with that and to allow myself to do nothing at times. Procrastination for me was the result of constant pressure which sucked so much energy that I just couldn’t BE productive anymore. Funnily enough when I allowed myself to slack around or fall a bit behind I ended up greatly improving my grades. In the end for me it’s a tale of starting to live in the moment (as cliche as that might sound) instead of failing to meet one’s own impossible expectations.
  • madaxe_again 6y ago
    It could be worse. You could be a millionaire, have sacrificed good years of your life and your health, and realise that happiness was achievable on a shoestring all along. We’re sold a lie from the get-go, a lovely orange carrot dangling just in front of us. Very occasionally a lucky donkey catches the carrot, because the stick broke or somesuch - but the carrot is made of wood. This is why we have billionaires. They’re the fools who didn’t know when to quit, chewing on wooden carrot after wooden carrot, insisting they’re delicious. More and more and more and never ever enough - because material wealth is good for satisfying your fundamental needs, but once it’s done that, the marginal utility diminishes rapidly, and you derive limited satisfaction from it. As you say, be ok with you. Be happy in this moment and that moment, however it comes - being alive is enough - ask any cancer patient.
• type0 6y ago
  > but I didn’t finish it, just like I didn’t finish my Ph.D. in political science I hope it's to the best. Humanity needs less ph.Ds in non scientific fields and more Ph.Ds in fields that don't urge the need to call themselves science, you know like real scientific endeavors, chemistry physics and so on
  • crazygringo 6y ago
    Hard, hard disagree. We already have all the resources to feed the world's population and then some, to shelter everyone, to provide health care, to stop global warming, to end poverty. We already have enough technology and then some. The reality is that it's politics, war and corruption that gets in the way. Sadly, our understanding of how to get along with each other for our mutual benefit is far behind our scientific understanding. The most meaningful progress over the next century, I believe, is not going to come from technology. It's going to come from political science, sociology, and related fields like behavioral economics. How do we fix the polarization that is tearing democracies apart? How do we make international cooperation to mitigate climate change realistic? How do we neutralize the threats from authoritarian regimes? If you want to help people, then today these are the questions that matter most. And the debate over whether these are "sciences" or not is just distracting and pointless -- mere semantics. They help us design institutions to improve the human good, which is what is meaningful and matters.
    • emteycz 6y ago
      The hardest question is how do we replace money. How do we split out luxury, leisure, fun etc then? How do we determine what is rentable and what's not? How do we decide who and whether has e.g. the latest gaming computer? How do we decide what is worthwhile usage of natural resources?
• superasn 6y ago
  Funniest thing I read all day. But coincidentally I was reading this book earlier called Chasing dalylight. For those who don't know, it was written by the ex-CEO of KPMG and how he spent his life doing things like taking 36 hour flights from NY to Australia just to get 30 minute facetime with someone (iirc) and he was hoping to retire peacefully with all his money when he was diagnosed with brain cancer and given 5 months to live. Really interesting book about how we waste away our present for future that we may never get.
• ak39 6y ago
  Another note from the underground. The problem is, like Dostoesvky wrote through the mouth of the Undergound Man, the human requires pain and misery in his daily existence in order to have a default want-to-live or want-to-thrive instinct. The lack of misery will banish us to these endless ruminations of self-hate from our lack of desire to live like the "men of action" (Sanjay, in this case) we obssess about. My kids call it "FWP". It's a tragedy that can be fixed by tragedy. Often the tragedy is self-inflicted. Just to want to live! on our own terms. It's a mess.
• psim1 6y ago
  I read this and remembered a plan I had journaled when I was 30 years old. I was working in a stratified IT department that I liked pretty well and had mapped out a plan to be at director level by age 40. I left that organization at age 33, took a short term position and then one I liked even better, putting me in a lead role that could have led to something director-like. Then the company laid off most of my team and I took off. Now I am in an individual contributor position again and have just turned 40. Many times, life works against plans and it's better not to get too attached to them. Other things are accomplished in the meantime that may not look like much but in the bigger scheme, are quite meaningful.
• lazyjones 6y ago
  We are not productive for 2 reasons: 1. our methods of learning are wrong, we learn best by asking others and experimenting, not by reading reference texts or passively attending lectures. 2. we lack the skills and tools to get things done, especially in IT our tools are mostly junk and the skills required to do the job change continually. If you disagree, tell me why artisans are so productive.
• peter303 6y ago
  The daily lethargy may be low grade covid isolation depression. Most of my regular social contacts ended six months ago. I am not dysfunctional, but less productive. Summer outdoors helped a bit.
• suff 6y ago
  The New Yorker and wasted time go hand in hand, don't they? I think they fail to see the irony publishing the story (and yes I recognize I'm wasting time by reading it). The author is not an 'artist'. People are what they do, not what they call themselves. What this author 'does' is lounge around and waste time then complain about it and call it artistic expression. Good luck with that strategy.
• jjk166 6y ago
  Plutarch tells the story of a roman quaestor who, at age 31 came upon a statue of Alexander the Great and wept, for at the same age Alexander had forged an empire while he had accomplished nothing. That quaestor was Julius Caesar.
  • TeMPOraL 6y ago
    I'll print this out and frame it, to read as I listen to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taupuK6oND4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taupuK6oND4. And I'm not being that sarcastic here. In the sense of what Plutarch wrote, Elon Musk does make me sad. I suppose every one of us can find someone who's miles ahead in achieving the same dreams as one has.
• intrepidhero 6y ago
  For me, thinking about what I didn't accomplish today is the first step on a short road to depression. Better questions to ask are: 1. Did I see or hear something beautiful. 2. Did I eat or drink something that nourished my body? 3. Did I have a thought that buoyed my spirits? 4. Did I have a pleasant interaction with a fellow human/animal? 5. Did I help someone? Journey before destination and all that. I'm not a great person and I have chosen not to aspire to do great things, though I admire people who do. I aspire to an ordinary life lived in contentment. One where I bring some good into the lives of people around me.
  • joelbluminator 6y ago
    If only more people had this life philosophy...
• vwat 6y ago
  This has 200 comments while the unveiling of the first working prototype of neuralink got a grand total of 15 upvotes. Hackernews has officially flatlined.
  • kart23 6y ago
    huh? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24311152 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24311152
    • vwat 6y ago
      I’m not sure how this is possible... I posted the link before your linked post was created... and my post was a dupe of the following post which is also older than your linked post... https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24308944 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24308944 I guess I just somehow missed it?
• vcanales 6y ago
  ...said the guy published on the newyorker.
• rdtwo 6y ago
  The problem I have is that the “free” time wasted on the screen isn’t actually free. It’s typically half committed to some activity that requires my physical but not complete mental presence or is cut into chucks of 5-10 minutes that I can’t transition into a meaningful activity for. I’m not really sure if there is much that can really be done about that.
• Axsuul 6y ago
  "A healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants one."
• hank_z 6y ago
  Quite social media, or restrict yourself to check it ONLY once a day. Sticking to this rule hasn't made me a billionaire, but I feel a lot happier.
• bstar77 6y ago
  I was incredibly driven about 7 years ago... I was a founder of a startup and had really lofty aspirations. I told my wife that it was very possible that we would be millionaires by the time we hit 40. Fast forward to today and that did not happen. The startup is no more, but mainly due to burnout. We made money and did well, but not well enough. I never made my millions, but did have a substantial aqui-hire opportunity that I turned down that would have almost gotten me there. Once that part of my life played out, I decided to make a 180 turn... I'm not working to exhaustion anymore and take a tortoise approach to my career. I've found that as long as I'm consistent and have my eye on my goals, it doesn't matter how hard I work outside of my day job. I just need to be consistent and take advantage of bursts of motivation. I've accomplished a surprising amount with this approach. I'm not stressed, I have the best quality of life that I've ever had and work is generally fun. This is what my goal should have been from the beginning.
  • xxxtentachyon 6y ago
    As someone who has generally tried to take your current approach and has generally been rewarded for it, yours is a refreshing perspective. There's a persistent voice in the back of my head that questions whether I'm acting out of fear, rationality, or just following a happy stasis. It's always reassuring to see the other side of this.
    • dfxm12 6y ago
      I follow this approach, too, and I consider myself successful, but I also have no voice questioning me. Consider for yourself if you'll regret what you're doing (or not doing) today ten years from now...
    • WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
      Noone posts about how their startup exploded and took 5 years of savings in their prime money earning years.
      • goatherders 6y ago
        Mine wasn't a startup per se, but my first business exploded, cost me my marriage, six figures of debt and a 70,000 IRS tax bill.
• sabas123 6y ago
  This sounds more like a letter of a depressed person than anybody else. Or maybe we blame procrastination for the causes that gives him this feeling while there is a much deeper issue (on a societal level)
• josh2600 6y ago
  I am constantly amazed at what caused progress in my life. Sometimes it is working to the bone. More often it is knowing when to press and when to let things breathe. One of the most powerful lessons I’ve internalized in my life is that negotiations are often won in the silence between gambits, not in the offers themselves. Sometimes letting things take the time they need makes them go faster than trying to rush.
• jugg1es 6y ago
  If I had a day like this guy had, my personal neuroses would look to blame something external for my own malaise. I'd be blaming the 3 waffles (and the accompanying blood sugar spike/crash) as being the source of my lack of ambition. I'd eat a couple eggs the next day to see if that changed any thing.
• ldd 6y ago
  I just wanted to make it to the top of Hacker News. I submitted plenty of my projects, but none hit the mark. So hopefully once before I turn 35 I have a project that makes it to the top. But if not, eh. I'll be al right. Just like the dolphins in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • deleted 6y ago
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• deleted 6y ago
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• peterwwillis 6y ago
  Imagine a takeout pizza restaurant run entirely by one woman. She opens the store in the morning, receives shipments, does food prep, takes orders, makes pizzas, delivers them, closes at night, files paperwork, and cleans up. By the end of the day she only gets a few dozen pizzas to customers. And as she's going to sleep, she tosses and turns, worrying that she didn't get enough done. Now imagine her sole task for the day was to prep ingredients. How do you think she'd sleep?
• pftburger 6y ago
  I am continually annoyed that I can’t compete with VC Funded startups with 20 to 50 employees in my spare time after work while maintaining a healthy social life. As ridiculous as that sounds I mean that seriously. I can’t shake the feeling
• paulcarroty 6y ago
  Sometimes thinking a lot is bad, especially when hesitation comes you should kick yourself in the ass and start doing.
• ouid 6y ago
  No matter how much I relate to the content, a New Yorker article about how unsuccessful the author is bound to come off a little... tone deaf?
  • jt2190 6y ago
    It’s not an article, it’s satire. (Most of the commenters here seem to have missed the joke.)
• didibus 6y ago
  I think there's a cultural aspect at play. I come from a place where success is measured more by the amount of experiences you've lived and the fun you've had, then the money you've made or the social status you've achieved. I like to use New Orleans motto as a way to describe it: Big Easy. A good life is one that was easy going, lade back, where you've enjoyed the company of others, where you've explored the wonders of the world, and that's that. It's the opposite mentality of: "What's my purpose?". You're not here to do anything, you're here to enjoy your stay. You're not here to make things, you're here to enjoy what's already there. The irony is that adopting this mindset and living this way is actually surprisingly hard. Seems the body naturally leans towards anxiety, like we've maintained in our DNA fears from our evolution, constantly looking behind our shoulder, feeling the need to get on with it, be on top of things, etc. Anyway, I am having the opposite reaction. I feel like getting closer to my 35, I feel like I've done everything. Accomplished all things that mattered, and like there's nothing more to do, now it's just routine and repetition. I've been there done that, seen everything, tried everything, so I don't get that excitement out of "undiscovered territories" anymore. And I'm working to adapt to this, be happy with the mondaine.
  • adamcharnock 6y ago
    I'm pleased I'm not the only one! I'm 35 shortly and I feel very content with what I have done so far. Here on out feels like icing on the cake. I always found the "what's the meaning of life?" question to be a nonsense one. I suspect encountering The Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy at a young age was part of the reason for that. There is so clearly no reason other than to enjoy it as much as you can. But I thin most of it is likely down to having parents that loved me unconditionally regardless of my achievements (which actually seems to be rare). Do what makes you happy, let boredom be a motivator. PS. Related comment of mine from a while back: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23061260 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23061260
• tudorconstantin 6y ago
  Now, this will probably get me downvoted to oblivion, but the article sounds like the rants of a loser. We all have distractions. We all enjoy wasting time. Hell, I'm writing this after 5-6 beers and my tomorrow will most probably be wasted by hangover. But man, you definitely got to man up get your shit figured out. You're 42, you definitely didn't hit the lottery until now and the chances don't look good in the future either. You seem pragmatic enough to realize there's got to be another way out there to be successful. Get out, find it, and follow it.
  • bdowling 6y ago
    > the article sounds like the rants of a loser. The article is published in the humor section of the New Yorker magazine. It’s clearly a humorous work of fiction written by a writer who was certainly paid for his work. It’s grandiose and delusional, because that’s what makes it funny on multiple levels. We relate to the story because we too suffer from procrastination and dismay at not meeting the fantastic goals we set for ourselves.
• juniper_strong 6y ago
  I used to read the New Yorker, years ago, I don't know what changed, me or them. Much of what they publish now comes across as self-pity, I don't have time in my life for that. Same as McSweeney's, I used to read it and I thought it was funny and now I read it and it comes across as self-pity. Give me decorative gourd season any time, but pieces where people complain about the things they haven't done aren't worth my time. Something new, please.
  • yepthatsreality 6y ago
    If you haven't read the article, you're hitting on the tongue-and-cheek-ness of it.
    • juniper_strong 6y ago
      I read the article. Nope.
      • yepthatsreality 6y ago
        “Nope” as in you don’t understand the tongue-in-cheek or because you refuse to acknowledge it because you don’t find the bit interesting?
• mjayhn 6y ago
  That twist was a definite kick in the ass to this 35yo, question is will I wake up tomorrow still acting on it.
• hyuuu 6y ago
  this is an interesting view: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LopI4YeC4I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LopI4YeC4I how luck plays a role to your success but also how you perceive your success which will change your behavior
• vonwoodson 6y ago
  That moment when your iPhone says “your usage is down 30% to 4 hours a day”
• m0zg 6y ago
  > I didn’t finish my Ph.D. in political science That's a worthwhile accomplishment in itself.
• tus88 6y ago
  Sometimes I think the MSM is deliberately writing articles so they will trend on HN.
• Kiro 6y ago
  I feel the opposite. I'm a complete slacker but had a lot success in life and accomplished so much I never thought was possible. I don't deserve any of this and I feel my biggest asset is my incredible luck.
• gstipi 6y ago
  I love life. I'm 37. Being alive in itself is truly remarkable. I've made great friends. I've met people who ended up disappointing me greatly. I've married a smart, beautiful, ambitious woman twelve years ago. We've went through exhilarating ups and soulcrushing downs. I've worked for a startup, which almost went under several times. I've worked for a corporate thresher which sucked life right out of me. I've worked on niche projects in my spare time, which so far have amounted to nothing. I've had panic attacks. I've experienced months of mania and perceived greatness. Life is a present which keeps on giving. I'm grateful. Accomplishments are a matter of perception, experience in itself is utterly exhilarating to me. I love life. I'm 37.
  • vishnumohandas 6y ago
    This is the best thing I've read today. Thank you. :)
    • gstipi 6y ago
      Thank you, I would love to read your perspective if you feel like sharing!
      • vishnumohandas 6y ago
        I documented my perspectives a while ago here: https://vishnu.tech/posts/surviving-depression/ https://vishnu.tech/posts/surviving-depression/
  • oars 6y ago
    Thank you, I really needed this.
    • gstipi 6y ago
      Thank you, friend, writing this felt very liberating.
  • syndacks 6y ago
    >I've experienced months of mania and perceived greatness. That hit hard amigo! Nicely written post.
• gjm11 6y ago
  "It is a sobering thought that by the time Mozart was my age ... he had been dead for three years." -- Tom Lehrer
• njacobs5074 6y ago
  I spent most of my younger years making sure that my family was supported and that my kids could go to university without crushing debt afterwards. Now I try to make sure that when I’m gone, it won’t create too much work for them to clean up after me. I try not to be attached to worldly passions. It’s not easy but it feels like the right thing to do.
• slipmagic 6y ago
  I feel like my bullies have grown up to be successful while I ended up being a loser and it turned out that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. My hard work didn’t amount to much and the things I sacrificed for it were the things that actually mattered.
• greybeard1812 6y ago
  Angst about what you've accomplished is about the processes in your mind -- not so much about what you've actually accomplished. For that reason, accomplishments alone won't calm it. In an odd coincidence, I did happen to complete my PhD before 35. I had also learned fluent though non-native French. I had already met a wonderful girl and had had 7 children with her. None of that stopped me from having the same feeling that life was passing me by. I still have it all the time. It's a feeling. It can be useful. But feelings don't have to be rational. I wouldn't be surprised if Musk and Bezos both look at their careers so far and feel frustrated and impatient from time to time either. It's just how (at least some) minds work.
  • dj_mc_merlin 6y ago
    > Angst about what you've accomplished is about the processes in your mind Yes. All of this insecurity and fear about what one has accomplished is nothing more than processes put into peoples' mind as children about what they should accomplish, should be. What is the point of feeling sad about your life? More importantly, why do they feel sad about their lives? Is it truly their decision, based on what they truly wanted, or an expectation that society (i.e. just other people) imposed on them? I have always lived with a sense that what I chose to do is meaningful and important for no other reason than I chose to do it. Why does one need more of a reason in life to reach goals than that, as long as you can satisfy your basic needs?
• kjgkjhfkjf 6y ago
  It's funny to see this in The New Yorker, because I was under the impression that The New Yorker was an elite publication where all writers aspired to be published. Perhaps this is supposed to be the joke, since the article is labeled as humor, but I don't think that being a writer, even in the New Yorker, has the same prestige nowadays that it used to have before media became "democratized", so the joke is actually quite sad. Realistically, the author probably should have been smart enough to realize that careers in the arts are the domain of the idle rich, and learned how to code.
• systematical 6y ago
  As a fellow thirty-five year old, when I think about this type of stuff, I often think about that Tyler Durden quote from Fight Club. "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock start, but we won't. And we're slowly learning that face. And we're very, very pissed off." We'll its silly to think you will be bestowed a spot in the top 1%, let alone the top 1% of 1%. I too slaved my twenties chasing the startup dream. I had some moderate success, but ultimately nothing panned out. I said I'd give that all up when I turned thirty if I never made it big. I did that. When I was 30, I had left the country once, to Mexico. At thirty-five I've traveled to ten countries. I started writing a novel. I don't expect to finish before forty and that's okay. I really turned my focus inward. Something that I do have absolute control over. With the pandemic I started contributing to open source software, I stared yoga. I should probably be doing more, but doing something is a good start. I am not saying not to chase big dreams at all, but sometimes we pivot in startups and we pivot in life. I am probably the happiest I've been since my mid-twenties right now. That doesn't mean I am in some state of nirvana. I still have a lot of issues and my twenties end really, really bad. But I'm in a good place for me. All in the midst of a pandemic. I controlled what I could. I'm debt free. I have my little open source side projects. I ride the bike, write the code, ride the bike, write the code and occasionally add some words to my little masturbation novel I'm writing. I could lose my job today and not give a fuck and not need to work for two years. I'm pretty happy with all that.
• yters 6y ago
  they said in a new yorker article...
• ikaria1991 6y ago
  https://youtu.be/wccRif2DaGs https://youtu.be/wccRif2DaGs
• caligulatte 6y ago
  The piece has pathos and is funny and feels universal, but I cannot help but think the truth is somewhat diminished when its author is published by The New Yorker!
• quickthrower2 6y ago
  I didn’t even get into tedx as an audience member
• shrimpx 6y ago
  It’s ridiculous to think that you’ve failed unless you’re the founder of a smash hit company, or a movie star, or a hundred millionaire, or a famous scientist. Those are very very low probability outcomes. The worst life to live is where you’ve sliced up your day into strict intervals of mantra contemplation, deep work, practicing guitar, working out, eating on a strict diet, etc., basically becoming your own slave, ultimately to no great outcome, because it turns out those “great outcomes” are not a function of this militaristic masochism.
• alexmingoia 6y ago
  Accomplishments should serve self-esteem. I want to be proud of what I did. You really only need one endeavor, and it doesn’t need to make money. It matters not whether your accomplishments are numerous or lucrative, but that your accomplishments make you feel good about yourself. Where people lose their way is playing games they can’t win, or that they aren’t proud of. A common example is a career doing work you’re not proud of, that you get no respect for. You may “win” but you don’t feel any better. Or you spread yourself too thin preventing any meaningful accomplishment. When I was a 9-5 software engineer I had low self-esteem. I was making great money, had a good job, but we weren’t creating software I was proud of. Meanwhile, I fell in love with and mastered a sport outside of work. The pride of mastering something I and others cared about and respected made me feel better than I ever did at my job. I realized then I should be chasing accomplishments that I can be proud of. That I should focus on doing less, and only doing what I derive my self-esteem from. I realized I didn’t need a fancy career or lots of money, I needed to do something I was a proud of. I think a lot of people are doing something they really don’t care about, and justifying it to themselves because it’s lucrative, or a “good” job, or other people tell them to be proud of it but they personally aren’t.
• naveen99 6y ago
  What i did today was more important than what I didn’t do. Make it a tautology !
• shannifin 6y ago
  I can definitely relate to being disappointed with myself after wasting too much time online (YouTube is usually my addiction). Problem is, even when I am productive, I usually don't feel much better for it. At least I don't feel guilty, but I don't really feel satisfied either. Feeling satisfied at the end of the day just seems to be random.
• nsandell123 6y ago
  This was depressing
• yters 6y ago
  The range of possible accomplishments is too broad, each requiring a lifetime of focus, and thus cause people to hop from accomplishment to accomplishment.
• sidcool 6y ago
  The wiliest addictions in life are subtle. Tobacco or alcohol at least have the decency to warn with adverse and severe health effects, often dissuading some from the habit. Internet is the subtle monster. I am not literally comparing internet addiction to the ones mentioned above. I am just saying that quitting internet is as difficult, if not more, than quitting tobacco or alcohol, and mainly because of its termite like nature to hollow out the mind. It's slow but steady, as most cruel things are.
• siddharthgoel88 6y ago
  With me it is not a question of what or why but how. Conceptually, I know why I should do a task at hand and complete it. I also know the priorities which task is more important and which are less. The part which pulls me down each time is how to convince my brain at the instant where it is telling me to watch that netflix trailer, mindless scroll fb, etc. instead of the work that was needed to be done. What is the framework/trick/technique that people use to not give at that weak moment?
• dmje 6y ago
  Here's what's astounding to me: scrolling through the responses here on HN shows an almost total focus on money and career. I read the piece and thought about life and personal ambition. That's kinda interesting. Anyway, fwiw: I'm 47, living by the sea in the most beautiful bit of the UK, and running a successful micro business which works with non profits. I've deliberately chosen a path over the last decade which is about family, and I say no to any business which would cause high levels of stress, no matter how lucrative. I only work with people I like. I say no to lots of work. I've deliberately taken the choice to not grow staff or move into an office, even though we have the financials and potential to do so. Why? Because life is about more than work. I've got two teenage kids. I see them for hours every day (not 20 minutes which I read recently is the average US dad daily contact time with his kids). I get to surf with them, to eat with them, to be with my wife, to read, to play piano and do hobbies. Do I put some money aside? Yes, a bit. Is it enough? Who knows, and who cares. I'll work until I'm 90 if I have to so I can continue to have this quality of life with my family and the environment around me. I'm incredibly, incredibly lucky - there's no doubt I've had a great path through life so far. But if I'm able to offer advice now it appears I'm an old git (and yes, the speed with which life happens is as per the article, it's terrifying!) - it's this: live your life. Live it and be poor. Take every single chance you can to be with your friends and family. Say yes to work that makes you happy. If it doesn't, find something else. In your 20's you'll want to eat the world. Do it, while you have the energy and appetite, but know that when you get older your tastes are going to change. Slow down, and accept that most of the best things in life aren't work, aren't money, and don't require either to create meaning. Be in your life.
  • novaRom 6y ago
    You are too optimistic for a man in a world ruled by populists and monopolies. And environment around you is changing. You still may enjoy it, will your children have that possibility?
    • maccard 6y ago
      It sounds like they're doing all they can to ensure their kids enjoy it. Sure, the world might be very different in 15 years time, but there's almost nothing they can do about that. Assuming they have enough money to get by, it sounds like he's spending time with them, which is the most likely thing that their kids will miss when the world changes.
• syndacks 6y ago
  If you're an aspiring writer and get published in The New Yorker, you've accomplished a lot :)
• aleksjess 6y ago
  A funny, yet a bit anxiety-fueling article about how time passes by quickly without us noticing. I feel as if it's more about us setting our goals way too high because of the internet, TV, and others. We see different people achieving so much every day, although we don't notice, that it's a) different people b) it takes them years and years and years c) they are one in a million type of people
• known 6y ago
  "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes" --Oscar
• sunstone 6y ago
  The secret of happiness is low expectations.
• todd8 6y ago
  I'm a bit uncomfortable giving advice. I'm skeptical of the survivor bias that provides people on the cover of Fortune magazine the platform to opine about how to be a success. Nevertheless, I'd like to encourage others no matter their age to find a path in life that make them happy. At 38, I started what became a very successful company; it ended up being publicly traded. I could just as easily have done the same thing at 48. Think, work hard, and know that you can recover from setbacks, in my opinion they are likely to be numerous. One of my friends is very successful. He had to drop out of high school because it was too difficult for him, but he worked hard and learned as he worked and now runs his own large successful company. He's a great guy with a great family; from walking though his factory with him it's apparent that he likes and is liked by the people that work for him and with him. I wish I lived in a house as beautiful as his, but I don't begrudge him his success--he's an amazing guy that did it himself. I sometimes wonder if it was just luck for me. Perhaps, but I didn't have some wonderful mentor or rich parents. I just decided that I would try different approaches until I built a happy life for myself.
• ca98am79 6y ago
  The goal of life is happiness - right? We can all agree on that. So the thing to figure out is how to attain happiness. What I have found is that the less you judge things, the happier you are. In fact, the only way to be unhappy or to suffer is to judge something as bad. Like in this article - a lot of judging of things that are "bad." If you eliminate this one thing - judgement - then you are happy. Always. So this is the trick for me - removing judgement from my life. Meditating has been a good practice of it.