16 ms·

All it takes is for one to work out

• pgt 11mo ago
  I read this as: all you have to do is work out.
  • koakuma-chan 11mo ago
    That's what it says.
  • PyWoody 11mo ago
    Right? I thought the article was going to be about how constructive having even a simple daily workout can be for mental health. After reading the article, I like my version better.
    • twodave 11mo ago
      Write it, then, and post it up here!
    • duckmysick 11mo ago
      Sort of related - 10k pushups and other silly exercise quests that changed my life: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45456188 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45456188
• mhog_hn 11mo ago
  On the one hand it is a wholesome article. On the other hand - so much wasted potential of people squeezing out the last bits when competing. Nash equilibria can suck
• deleted 11mo ago
  [deleted]
• hugodan 11mo ago
  That’s an aggressive problematic gambler mentality.
  • ashu1461 11mo ago
    Is it ? In gambling your odds are fixed, but in real life, wouldn't you get better at solving problems with each iteration ?
    • mewpmewp2 11mo ago
      Depends - are you meaningfully trying to improve or do you keep doing the same thing over and over not getting it?
  • xandrius 11mo ago
    When the outcome is positive, I see nothing wrong. Especially if you lose basically nothing in trying.
    • mewpmewp2 11mo ago
      Your time, energy, etc are not nothing. If you think like that, you have already lost and are not making optimal decisions.
      • xandrius 11mo ago
        That counter-argument is only valid if you actually had other things to do. If the alternative to send to yet another university application is to start a new match of CoD then it wasn't a loss.
        • mewpmewp2 11mo ago
          Interestingly I found my first job through a video game and I never went to uni. I got good at the game (to brag, top 0.1%) and met people in the game who referred me because of the "respect" from being good at that particular game got me. Might seem odd, but a lot of people in the industry played this game and ability to be good at the game did signal something. I have never spam applied anywhere, and have hyperfocused on very specific positions, putting a lot of prep effort into what I have considered strong matches.
• maest 11mo ago
  Related: You should expect to keep getting "no"s until you get a yes. That means, getting a "no" is actually normal, it's not failing.
  • energy123 11mo ago
    Each "no" is a signal that you're still trying which puts you above many people whose ego can't handle hearing that word so they settle and turn to bitterness.
• prophesi 11mo ago
  Reminds me of Veritasium's recent video[0] on power law distributions. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBluLfX2F_k https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBluLfX2F_k
  • mncharity 11mo ago
    "[O]ne outlier can dominate the average"; "We're used to living in this world of normal distributions and you act a certain way, but as soon as you switch to this realm that is governed by a power law, you need to start acting vastly different. It really pays to know what kind of world or what kind of game you are playing."
  • mercenario 11mo ago
    I also thought about this video. Like VC investiments or book publishers, you dont need all or most to succeed, you need only a few.
• legerdemain 11mo ago
  You've been trying for a long time. What do you do if the job that makes you an offer doesn't excite you? What if the house that feels like home needs more repairs than you can afford? What if the program that accepts you has crappy funding? What if the person who chooses you has red flags? Do you say "screw it," cross your fingers, and walk through the door that kind of sucks? Or do you keep looking as long as your resources last you?
  • bgoated01 11mo ago
    Right. All it takes is for one to work out, if you have several suitable options. If some of the options are only vaguely suitable, or it comes to light through the process that some of them are not suitable at all, then it takes more than just one working out. That's what I was thinking while reading this.
  • GMoromisato 11mo ago
    Every situation is different, and none of us can reliably predict the future. Sometimes dealing with a bad job until you get a better one is the right move. Sometimes it's the wrong move. Specifics, about the job and yourself, matter. If you feel like sharing, this is a pretty good community with good instincts. The magic in "all it takes is for one to work out" is in the strength it gives you to keep trying. Trying something that might fail is hard, even when we know that trying is the right thing to do.
    • legerdemain 11mo ago
      My point is that, at least anecdotally, certainty is rare. Most of the time, for most people, the experience is less "yes!" and more "I guess." More widely applicable advice would be how to deal with compromise, not how to hold out for "the right one."
      • GMoromisato 11mo ago
        There is no certainty, not about the future at least. In my experience, being able to face uncertainty without despair is one of the most important skills to have. The interesting thing about "all it takes is for one to work out" is that it helps you face uncertainty. No matter how many times you've tried, you maintain the faith that the next time might succeed. And it is all about faith, which is probably why it is so hard for us analytic/logic-driven people to adopt. But the opposite of faith isn't knowledge--it's nihilism. If the universe is an uncaring and even hostile place, and if there are no guarantees that everything will work out, and if the only certainty is eventual death, then why even bother, right? Nihilism is seductive because it is the philosophy most compatible with reality. It is what you're left with after entering the Total Perspective Vortex. The only antidote to nihilism is belief. Belief that things will work out. That it's worth fighting for things, even if we often lose. That striving to be the person we want to be is worth something. I know I've drifted far from your original point about how to deal with compromise. Again, I feel the answer depends on the circumstances. But I think a general answer is to decide what "the right one" means for you and nurture the belief that you will get there eventually. Once you know where you want to be and have the conviction that you will get there, everything else is simple. Simple, but not easy. Maybe you've compromised for your current job. What will it take to get "the right one"? Is it more skills? Is it connections? Is it money? Is it courage? Maybe you don't know--that's okay. What's the next job that will get you closer to your goal? What do you need to get that job? I guarantee that one of the things you need to do is simply try. Try to apply for a new job; try to learn a new skill; try to make a new professional connection. That's when you remember "all it takes is for one to work out". Try and fail and try again.
• jaychia 11mo ago
  Great article and a timely reminder for many :) Applicable not just for grad school applications, but also to job apps, startups, and relationships. Hang in there y'all, all it takes is for one to work out. Keep working hard, kings & queens.
• flatline 11mo ago
  We job hop, have multiple hustles. Many people on this board have started multiple companies, sometimes at once, on an ongoing basis. Do you only want just one friend? People tend to have multiple romantic/sexual entanglements, sometimes at once, but generally more than one over a lifetime. I think this can be a useful maxim to get you to the next day, but in reality it takes a lot more than one of anything for a fulfilling life. We grow and change and need novelty. We are held in a web of interdependent, ever-shifting relationships - with people, businesses, material goods, ecology. I think that generally people are seeking connection in a broader sphere. To be held in community, to have multiple significant identities (mother/wife/boss), to live in richness and abundance where any one thing is not make or break.
  • ChrisMarshallNY 11mo ago
    > in reality it takes a lot more than one of anything for a fulfilling life We seem to view "reality" through different lenses. I've usually found "one" to be a magic number; as long as it's the "right one." That's the gist of what he's saying. In my experience, needing more than one, often signals issues that need closer examination. In my community, we have a joke: "An addict is someone that needs two One-A-Days."
    • HPsquared 11mo ago
      I find the same, individual jobs or relationships seem to give supralinear returns. There's a lot of initial investment and groundworks, then once you're well-integrated, the marginal returns get higher for the most established relationships.
    • TeMPOraL 11mo ago
      Getting from zero straight to the one is like winning the lottery. Most people need to get through multiple "ones" to find "the one".
      • ChrisMarshallNY 11mo ago
        Agreed. It’s not what I’d call a “fulfilling” process, though.
• siliconc0w 11mo ago
  It's also interesting to consider that we are such adaptative creatures that we will likely settle to a similar level of happiness no matter what the choice.
• 1970-01-01 11mo ago
  Purely poetic advice. If the local economy collapses, you will very much want to move. There's still a 50% chance the first spouse doesn't hold up until death. There are many schools that give out degrees that aren't worth a wooden frame in today's job market.
• deadbabe 11mo ago
  While it’s true that all we need is one to work out, in general we strive to be in positions where we have multiple options, not just hinging everything on one passing chance. Life is less stressful that way, and that’s why people today feel like they are under so much pressure and have little choice over how their lives unfold.
• samdoesnothing 11mo ago
  Why are so many people in this thread purposefully misinterpreting the post so they can criticize it? The author obviously doesn't mean you only need one thing per domain to work out in your lifetime, but the present. I.e you don't need two girlfriends at once, even though you might have multiple relationships throughout your life... Sheesh. HN is grumpy today.
• jmward01 11mo ago
  This is why having a safety net and resources to try again is so powerful. Given enough chances you will make it, big. That means the #1 factor in success is the number of chances you get to fail and try again, not necessarily how inherently good you are. I try to remind myself of this often. I have been given so many chances, and I took them.
  • j45 11mo ago
    Well said, this is the real game to pursue. Best of continued luck.
  • Aurornis 11mo ago
    This always sounded intuitively correct to me, but looking back over the past two decades basically all of the successful entrepreneurs and business owners I know didn’t come from families with a lot of resources and didn’t have much of a safety net. They just went all in on their goals when they were young and had many years ahead of them to start over if it all went wrong. Contrast this with some of the people I grew up who came from wealthy families: A lot of their parents pushed them toward entrepreneurship and funded their ventures, but to date I can only think of one business from this cluster of friends that went anywhere. When you come from such resources and wealth that you don’t need to succeed and you can drop the business as soon as it becomes difficult, it’s a different situation. I don’t know exactly what to make of this, other than to remind myself to keep pushing through the difficult times for things I really want even when I could fall back to an easy path and give up.
    • jbs789 11mo ago
      If you don’t have a fall back, you have no choice but to make it work.
      • JustExAWS 11mo ago
        Or fail miserably…
        • 11mo ago
• stego-tech 11mo ago
  Needed this today. Apparently the HN hive mind agreed. All it takes, is for one to work out.
• throwaway150 11mo ago
  I thought HN is supposed to upvote articles that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity. Does this article gratify intellectual curiosity? I don't understand why these shallow feel-good articles devoid of any intellectual curiosity always get upvoted to the top! There are so many high effort, substantive articles at https://news.ycombinator.com/newest https://news.ycombinator.com/newest that nobody upvotes!
  • yehoshuapw 11mo ago
    because even when it isn't why people come here, and if there was too much of it you may be right - a message which brings up a smile or warm feeling is enough for people to be thankfull and that is a good thing
    • throwaway150 11mo ago
      Obviously the article is voted to the top. So the the lurkers at /newest and the general HN audience must like this. Still I wish though that upvoters stuck to the HN guidelines of upvoting stuff that really gratifies one's intellectual curiosity, not just some feel-good piece. There is no shortage of other places where I can find feel-good articles. I want HN to stick to HN guidelines. This is all the more sad for me because among all the spam, many high effort articles get posted to /newest but many don't get the upvotes. These shallow, feel-good articles always get the upvotes. I guess it takes more time to read and appreciate a high effort article. So I understand why this happens. But ...
  • raw_anon_1111 11mo ago
    I submit articles personally that I think will start interesting conversations. I didn’t submit this one. But I suspected it would go in the direction of trying to start a company - which it did. That is entirely on brand for a site run by a VC company. Mission accomplished.
  • famahar 11mo ago
    The blog post is simple but it was enough of a good prompt to spark an interesting discussion. Sometimes the comments expand the depth of an idea and that's where the meat of curiosity thrives.
• throwaway314155 11mo ago
  I'm confused. This just seems like feel-good bullshit advice that only works for people in extremely good circumstances. There's a false equivalence between - “All it takes is for one to work out.” and the following: - "You don’t need every job to choose you. You just need the one that’s the right fit." - "You don’t need every house to accept your offer. You just need the one that feels like home. " The latter assumes that _every_ attempt you make has a chance at being "the right fit", "the one that feels like home". That is not the way things works for 99% of us.
  • colecut 11mo ago
    Unless you interpret 'working out' as being 'the right fit', then it comes together pretty nicely
• phkahler 11mo ago
  And its always the last one you try. Just like every lost item is found in the last place you look :-)
• throwaway643384 11mo ago
  The “one that works out” can also give you a misrepresentation of how the world works and a false sense of how lucky one should expect to be over a long period of time. At an earlier point in my life, I had been applying to many well-known big tech companies right out of school (not a top school either). I never got a reply from any of them so I ended up accepting a local job with a non-tech company after months of searching. But I didn’t give up my hopes and kept applying to big tech, and while I did manage to get the occasional interview with some mediocre companies or the random startup, I also miserably failed all of them too. At some point during my long period of despair at never getting a better job, my very top pick (and arguably one of the best tech companies in the world at the time) reached out to me. Even more miraculously, I somehow passed their interview (the only tech interview I passed in the prior year) and accepted a job there. I really enjoyed working there. Some of the best years of my life. And my performance reviews were great too, so the imposter syndrome from having failed so many tech job interviews sort of faded into the background. But after a while, perhaps due to the “hedonic treadmill” mentality, I thought I could do better. So I left to join a startup. Well, the startup failed, as startups tend to do, but what I didn’t expect and what caught me off guard was that I was now back in the same situation I was in right after graduating from college. Don’t get me wrong—having “the name” on my resume now meant I could get at least one chance at an interview about anywhere. But much like the first round that I tried to forget about, I once again failed all the interviews. Unfortunately, this second time around never procured a “get out of jail free” card. So I guess my lesson is: 1) there’s a lot of luck involved in these things, 2) if life gives you a winning lottery ticket at some point, don’t throw it away for the chance to win an even bigger lottery, and 3) that famous saying about “the only actions regretted are those not taken” is absolutely, totally wrong—almost all of my regrets in life relate to taking some action I shouldn’t have rather than inaction.
  • Sevii 11mo ago
    A lot of people experienced that during the 2020 boom. The lucky break wasn't a lucky break it was just a huge hiring boom. Once that's over the status quo returns.
    • 11mo ago
• TeMPOraL 11mo ago
  Bait & switch, though. “All it takes is for one to work out.” is not the same as "You just need the one [job] that’s the right fit." or "You just need the one [house] that feels like home." or "You just need the one [life partner]." Author's examples are, spiritually, the opposite of their friend's advice - in fact, "all it takes is for one to work out" is something often said to people who lost hope because they got lost being too picky.
  • QuantumGood 11mo ago
    Simplifications always leave something out. It's like the three body problem: people think one factor matters most, and one other factor controls it. But once they realize there is a third factor that alters one or the first two, or mediates between them, it gets more complicated.
• sdqali 11mo ago
  The article is good, but I am more impressed by how the author has been posting every day since May 12th, 2008.
  • nebezb 11mo ago
    All it takes is one.
• j45 11mo ago
  Beautiful piece and reminder. If you're never done growing, you're never done peaking, nor ever really done trying. One working out can lead to the next way. Wishing everyone well who this piece resonated with.
• otras 11mo ago
  On a much less optimistic dark humor note, this is the same argument in If Anyone Builds It, Everyone Dies about a superintelligent AI emerging and being a threat to humans. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_Anyone_Builds_It,_Everyone_Dies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_Anyone_Builds_It,_Everyone_...
• wacper 11mo ago
  This is a great approach! After every opportunity that closed on me another arose, and it always was the better one. Through these experiences I totally agree, and try to apply it to life, but it's hard, even knowing that it's true. How cool is it for every college, person, job offer, scholarship to want you? Even though we're looking just for "the one" it's very hard for me to mitigate the feeling of getting rejected, even knowing it was not "the one". Rejection generally hurts, when you care about the goal
• jh00ker 11mo ago
  Taking a break from studying for my interview in two days at a FANG company, I checked Hacker News and this article was at the top. I've been studying for this interview harder than any of the others in the past. I feel well-prepared, but there's always the luck factor. I hope this is a sign that this interview will be the one to work out!
• throwaway894345 11mo ago
  It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize this wasn’t about exercising.
  • einpoklum 11mo ago
    I think it would be better if it were about exercising; it's more useful advise that way. So, all it takes is for you to work out: You may not get into that grad school / that job, but you'll be healthier and you'll feel less depressed. In fact, even if you're in grad school, it's pretty good advice for coping avoiding burnout, coping with impostor syndrome etc.
• BitsAndObjects 11mo ago
  Unfortunately, the "one" which accepts you, is no guarantee of it being the one which "works out" (in the short or long term). My experience is now 4x "found one that ultimately doesn't work out" (each lasting 2 to 3 years). I'm now taking time out to try to figure out how to escape the confines of the career path I've taken to find something different. Open to suggestions of entirely different careers that I could switch to that might have higher odds of not being toxic rat-races full of people telling lies and bullshit just to survive. But broader experience suggests the world of work just sucks these days (and yes, it's these days - our parent's generation had a brief period of doing 9-to-5 jobs which paid well enough to afford homes, have families and social lives and holidays. We don't get that now.). No wonder large numbers of my generation are dropping out of the workforce...
  • chamomeal 11mo ago
    I think any huge tech company or private equity owned company will be a rat race. There are plenty of tech jobs that don’t fall under that umbrella. They might not pay as well, but they’re out there!
    • BitsAndObjects 11mo ago
      Genuinely, no sarcasm or whatever intended, I just want to broaden my horizons: what tech jobs did you have in mind? :)
      • netbioserror 11mo ago
        I personally got one of those jobs at a smaller, "non-tech" (read: engineering) company, quite close to where I grew up. Got to pick my language and tools, have ownership of my slice of the product, live a very comfortable and flexible 9-to-5 where they gave me the room to do my best work. Pays maybe half of the typical inflated tech salary. But I'm doing well for myself. My only issues at this point are 1) my life has bucket list things to check off that have nothing to do with work, 2) I'm running out of super interesting things to work on and entering a sort of maintenance mode on my program, 3) the old guard, who were all retirement age, are checking out for a new generation, with a new direction. So all that being said, I've been looking for work far afield in places closer to my bucket list items. Hopefully, I can find another smaller, specialized company that needs a programmer with my skillset, because this experience has been fantastic.
• manicennui 11mo ago
  This is also the strategy of groups trying to pass oppressive legislation.
• anonu 11mo ago
  The corollary to this is "keep walking"... As my mom always tells me.
  • chanux 11mo ago
    If you are going through hell etc.
• hereforcomments 11mo ago
  This St Peterburg paradox. I've just learnt it from Veritasium's last video. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Petersburg_paradox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Petersburg_paradox
• notepad0x90 11mo ago
  "Is this where you stop?"
• anttiharju 11mo ago
  Reminds me of AlphaGo It didn't try to maximise by how much it won, but just that it won. Apparently it changed the meta for human pkayers. If you have the time for it, the movie/doc is worth watching https://youtube.com/watch?v=WXuK6gekU1Y https://youtube.com/watch?v=WXuK6gekU1Y
• nimchimpsky 11mo ago
  [dead]
• LunicLynx 11mo ago
  Another saying i repeat to myself, which if gotten from a friend. You have already lost, you can only win.
• JustExAWS 11mo ago
  I agree with his sentiments and his examples. But my fear is that on a place like Hacker News, people might not understand the difference between his advice and trying to have a successful startup. >You don’t need every job to choose you. You just need the one that’s the right fit. When I’m applying for a job, I can apply for multiple jobs at once and interview for multiple jobs over a a few weeks. It’s especially easy when I am both interviewing and working remotely. I don’t have to make excuses to leave work during the middle of the day or worse case fly out for an interview. The same is true for buying a home, I can put bids in for multiple homes - or in my case just have my homes built in 2003 and 2016. I know the world is different now. >You don’t need every person to want to build a life with you. You just need the one. This is one place where of course you can shoot your shot at multiple potential partners and date often. What you don’t want to do is try marriage multiple times if it can be avoided. A bad marriage will wreck every part of your life and a divorce will set you back financially. (Happily remarried for 15 years after a horrible first marriage.) None of his examples are applicable to starting a business. 9/10 startups fail and even out of those that “succeed” only a small number of those have an outsized return for the founder where they wouldn’t be better off financially working a regular old enterprise dev job for those years let alone getting a job at BigTech. VCs can make multiple bets at one time and be more assured that they capture the 1/10 startups that succeed than a founder. There is a huge difference between being able to take multiple chances at once in all of those scenarios and being stuck with the 1/10 choices you make for multiple years.
• thom 11mo ago
  A corollary to this, for me at least, has always been: don’t try to fake your way into an opportunity. Be yourself, let people pass on the real you if they want, because you don’t want to land a job where you can’t thrive as yourself. Obviously there’s great privilege in that and sometimes you need to eat shit in order to eat at all, but if you have the option I hope you’re able to wait for the right fit.
• colecut 11mo ago
  I read the title and thought it meant that if you just exercise everything else will fall into place. I should probably still try that.
• nextworddev 11mo ago
  It also takes just one big mistake to really make things tougher…
• asdfman123 11mo ago
  Maybe you need only one. I need universal adoration! Everyone must love me!
• koinedad 11mo ago
  I basically repeated the same thing to my wife when I was transitioning into software engineering. It’s so true!
• awesome_dude 11mo ago
  A (possible) restatement of the oft quoted "They have to be lucky all the time, we only have to be lucky once" (albeit only the second half)
• einpoklum 11mo ago
  You don't need to buy a lottery ticket every day, you just need to buy one on the day you get the winning ticket. Thanks for the tip buddy!
• ojr 11mo ago
  all I need is one SaaS to work out, I've built five of them this year, the fifth one is the one though, I promise.
• WarOnPrivacy 11mo ago
  To land at the the author's difficulty level, you need to not have chronic life-shifting catastrophes. That is, the sort of challenges that slot your life in a place where the long reaches are to keep housing and hopefully have food for the kids. I started out where the author was. Well, roughly. +Kids, -Secondary edu. I could and did rise above that. And above 3 economy shifts that each reset my biz to zero. I did not rise above my spouse being swapped for an adult with profound psych issues. I took on the single dad and caregiver roles well enough. However, I could not overcome the daily sabotage of, well, everything. It's like a TV trope where you are shackled to your worst enemy. But you have to keep them safe and your loved ones safe from them. It's tough to maintain a job schedule when the police frequently call you during the workday (w and w/o CPS). Or when your transpo is stolen and can't be replaced. In short, it's particular tough to pretend to be stable. Eventually there are no bridges left to burn.
  • chanux 11mo ago
    Thanks for the kicking back some reality in. Some of these risks are hard to adjust for. I guess you've got to muster all the grit and keep walking. Also BTW, you've shown enough but let me wish you more strength for you. All the very best!
  • Barbing 11mo ago
    How damn hard, sending love
  • heresie-dabord 11mo ago
    > I did not rise above my spouse being swapped for an adult with profound psych issues. This is much more common than people in their conditioned romanticism will ever acknowledge. In the economy of the past 15 years, marriage is a much worse risk than an expensive education.
• andsoitis 11mo ago
  This is also vividly demonstrated by life via evolution through natural selection. Life had to spark only once, leading to the subsequent explosion in variety and complexity.
• yesimahuman 11mo ago
  Yep, heard so many no’s while building my startup. They mean nothing to me now because I got a few yes’s when it mattered.
• didip 11mo ago
  This is what I keep telling my son even though he is still a bit too young: Here in Bay Area, in Silicon Valley, all you need is to try hard and get lucky once.
• twodave 11mo ago
  I’ve considered some form of grad school a few times, but I always came to the conclusion there just wasn’t enough value in it for a software engineer like me. I don’t plan on teaching, and I’m not really interested in the “science” of computer science so much as the practice of it. Anyone able to validate or challenge my assumptions here?
  • flat-like-paper 11mo ago
    The only thing to add here is the value of the network you will build. It’s very easy for swes to forget that people connecting to people is how things happen. Just be careful around cost. Speaking from experience, having student loan debt changes the range of your vision.
  • fragmede 11mo ago
    If you don't want to do any of the science part of computer science then this route may not be one for you to consider. However, if we assume that AI is going to be with us in 5 years, and that it would take you 5 years to get a PhD in an AI-related area you do find interesting, and furthermore that demand for talent with a PhD in that area has gone up, or stayed constant vs demand for general software development talent, then, based on that pile of "if"s, while a $100 million job offer from Meta may not exist in 5 years, it is still something to consider.
• throwaway-0001 11mo ago
  > You don’t need every job to choose you. You just need the one that’s the right fit. You mean, the first one to say yes. Tbh seems more like first to say yes, not first to be fit and say yes. > You don’t need every house to accept your offer. You just need the one that feels like home. Same here. Is easy to find one to say yes. Hard to be “feels like home” && say yes. > You don’t need every person to want to build a life with you. You just need the one. “The one” is hard. >You don’t need ten universities to say yes. You just need the one that opens the right door. Same. What even means “the right door”? How can you even know before you got in? I think it’s a bad analogy. At least frame it a more realistic: your only need one job to say yes. Might not be the right job but it’s a job. Same for all other.
• adidoit 11mo ago
  At-bats have always been the name of the game. That's why if you're going to do something risky make sure you build the safety net
• jongjong 11mo ago
  The problem is that the opportunity you need might be a 1 in 100 lifetimes opportunity... These days once in a lifetime opportunities are getting increasingly rare... This is something that the lucky few do not understand because they may pass up on once-in-100-lifetimes opportunities just about every single day. The asymmetry of opportunities is massive. Our system is not a level playing field. No system in the history of humanity has wasted as much human potential as our current system. Opportunities are completely monopolized.
• tmoertel 11mo ago
  I think author's use of the word "the" is misleading: > You don’t need every job to choose you. You just need the one that’s the right fit. [emphasis mine] You don't need the job that's the right fit. There's more than one. You need any job that fits. (Or that you can make fit you.) So, if you want to size up the search, let p be the probability that a typical job you apply for will (1) result in you being hired and (2) be a job that fits you. Then the expected number of jobs you must apply to before getting hired to a job that fits you is 1/p. [1] Say you think p = 5%. Then, on average, you'll need to apply to 20 jobs to land one that fits you. How many jobs do you need to apply to have a 90% chance of landing one that fits you? If q is the wanted probablity of overall success, then the number of jobs k you must apply to is given by k = log(1 − q) / log(1 − p). So, in this example, k = log(1 − 0.9) / log(1 − 0.05) ≈ 45 applications. That's a lot of rejections and ill-fitting jobs before landing one that sticks. Which is why it's useful to be persistent and flexible. Being able to make a job fit can dramatically reduce your search. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_binomial_distribution https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_binomial_distribution
• bigbluedots 11mo ago
  At some point you don't need "the one that gives you joy". You need the one that pays the bills and feeds the family
• carsonwagner 11mo ago
  Exactly correct. As a YouTuber, all it takes is one YouTube Short to go viral for me, and I'll have hundreds of thousands of subscribers overnight. I haven't had anything go seriously viral, but my biggest Shorts have resulted in huge subscriber jumps. The best advice I ever received was to consistently post for years on end. If you have high-quality content, one of those Shorts is almost certain to eventually hit the big leagues. When it does, your life will change in an instant.
  • nextworddev 11mo ago
    "Don't turn your life into a lottery" - Peter Thiel
    • cons0le 11mo ago
      -says the guy that won the lottery
      • nextworddev 11mo ago
        True. He def hit the jackpot with seed round for Facebook lol
  • phito 11mo ago
    I've seen plenty of small channels having a one time hit that didn't really change anything in the long run
• didgetmaster 11mo ago
  How many great opportunities are passed up by people waiting for the 'perfect' one to come along? Job offers passed on because it wasn't the perfect fit. Marriage chances missed because the perfect soul mate must still be around the corner. Good schools rejected because it wasn't their dream school. Luck often accompanies those willing to accept less than perfect in many cases.
• andreygrehov 11mo ago
  I strongly disagree with the author. The mindset they described somewhat reminds me of body positivity—excess weight is not good for your health, accepting it through a mental shift is a bad advice. Here is my personal advice to whoever reads this comment. Ignore everything they say on the internet. Do what works best for you. Trust your intuition. Set bold goals. Always learn and strive to become better in everything you do. If you failed an interview, it’s perfectly ok to be disappointed. Spend a day calling your own self names. It’s normal! The very next day analyze why you failed, see where you need to improve. Rinse and repeat. This will get you whatever the hell you want in this life.
  • sunkeeh 11mo ago
    I think you missed the point, he doesn't disagree with your points at all, he's just pointing out that you shouldn't stress yourself out thinking you have to win them all when actually 1 is often all you need.
    • andreygrehov 11mo ago
      I’m not sure if the author’s perspective aligns with what I said. > You don’t need every job to choose you. You just need the one that’s the right fit. I don’t think anyone expects to pass all the interviews. Seriously, who expects that? The right fit of choices is often limited. You need to deeply understand your weaknesses and strengths to even know what the right fit is. People are usually unaware of their own superpowers. Hard work is the only thing that pays off. Luck comes to those who are prepared.
  • globular-toast 11mo ago
    I agree about body positivity, but the big difference is we are talking about relationships here. Whenever it's a relationship, whether it's professional, platonic or romantic, sometimes it really is just them. But more often than not it's a bit of both, it's up to you to decide whether you want to make it about them or make it about you. If it's always about them then you'll be that person who only ever meets assholes. We all know the truth: you're the asshole. So yes, reflect and think about what you could do better, but don't compromise on your principles or try to be a person you're not.
• j7ake 11mo ago
  This is also the philosophy espoused by Taleb. You want that job that involves tinkering, playing, and an option to select winners.
• the_real_cher 11mo ago
  I thought it was about exercising. (which also helps with stress)
• keepamovin 11mo ago
  Fuck yeah, man. That's great. Thank you for saying that
• Brajeshwar 11mo ago
  Personally, I do believe and still on the perpetual aim for that “You have to be right just once.” For me, it is not about the “right one(s).” My philosophy is that I should be able to “Walk Out” from situations, deals, and options that I picked and be ready for the next. I wrote about Walking Out,[1] but more from a content/digital life perspective. I do follow similar thinking with life situations too. I’m neither complaining nor comparing, but hey, life dealt a bad enough hand early on. Mother left us when the last of our siblings (sister) was barely 6 months old, and father was never present. My brothers and I survived by working odd jobs, stealing vegetables from neighbors, and running errands for almost everyone in the neighborhood. My brother worked repairing bicycles, cleaning trucks, and giving up studies so I could study. I started teaching the neighbors’ kids in my 5th grade and paid through school, then worked computer stuff to pay for college, and also begged a lot of relatives to supplement for food, books, etc. I know what actual starvation meant. It was only around my 15th year I learnt that winters can actually be warm when I had a sleep-over at my friend’s place where they had warm blankets that was thick enough. So, my belief is that things won’t work out. Can I Walk Out? Well, “The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.” Way later in life, I realized the neighbors knew about our night crawls. That was why they started giving us their vegetable garden harvest, and the “we have some extra cooking oil.” 1. https://brajeshwar.com/2025/can-i-walk-out/ https://brajeshwar.com/2025/can-i-walk-out/
• GarnetFloride 11mo ago
  The trouble is how many times can you try. I tired building 6 businesses; all failed. I just don't have the resources to try again. I've lost too much. I am lucky to have been able to try at all. Like that parable floating around about the people and the carnival games, the rich own the game, the poor run the games and the middle class get a chance or two to play.
• roudaki 11mo ago
  A writers perspective: I like to pause from time to time and thank my talent and my education for training me to the point I can trully enjoy difficult classical work. And read it again and again when I miss it. Also being able to sit and write for hours is pretty incredible on its own. Yes I have nothing to show for it. No money, no deals, no awards... And that upsets me 70% percent of the time. In a healthy way, where it just keeps me going back to the desk same time every day. Rest of the time I really enjoy just being able to do it and being able to afford the time to do it. As one of the few in my family with degree and withouth second job.
• konart 11mo ago
  Except "work out" is not and state but a process. You don't get a person who loves you back and expect it to last a lifetime be default. Same about university or house, or... anything really.
• Havoc 11mo ago
  Similar to shots on goal concept. Sometimes more tries is the answer
• rhubarbtree 11mo ago
  Was living in a small city for a while during the pandemic. Commented to parent that dating scene wasn’t going to be good and I needed to move to a bigger city. They answered “all you need is to meet one person”. I did. Met on an app, turned out they lived round the corner from me, we are now married. She is a _very_ unusual person (has to be to work with me) and you wouldn’t expect her to be in a small city, but due to particular life circumstances she had just moved there temporarily.
  • rhubarbtree 11mo ago
    Strangest downvotes I ever received.
• deleted 11mo ago
  [deleted]
• Puzzled_Cheetah 11mo ago
  That may be true, but it's also a trap: You can say exactly the same thing to someone at a casino with their last £50 at five in the morning. Sometimes, the advice that people give you, if they care about you, is that the smart thing to do is to walk away from a rough game - and if you don't, the end can be very bad indeed. You are a variable over the search space, and the way that you interact with it alters the results that you will get as applied to your life: Making this specific, I used to work in employment advice. As one of the things here is a job search, I'll touch on that one: There are people who have been applying for jobs for decades. I've met many people who haven't been able to get a job in north of twenty years. It's obvious that what they're doing will never work out for them. There may be one job in the world out there that will take them, but just doing a naive search will - in all probability - never locate for them that job. The world is too large and they don't have the time to search even a single percentage of it. What they need to do is to look at all the reasons they're not getting a job and prioritise addressing those: - Do they have all the qualifications and certificates they need for their target industry? - Do they have recent relevant experience? - Do they have a good CV? - Do they have a decent cover letter? - Do they have a good interview? Now, that's not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea. The other way in which it's a bad piece of advice is that people aren't machines. When you've spent a great deal of time gambling and losing then the tendency is for people to seek bigger payoffs at higher comparative risks and/or lower comparative chances of success. The tendency is for people to be less likely to do the things, e.g. volunteering, that will improve their odds as their tally of losses increases. Down thread, raw_anon_1111 posits the position that you've lost nothing by trying - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46091837 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46091837 - in my experience this is not the case. People lose time in making the attempts, they lose energy (which is perhaps more important than time,) and they lose sight of other options - which game they're playing, why they're playing it, how they're playing it. It will, in all probability, not work out within their lifetimes - and the reason that it won't work out is that following this sort of strategy has made them the sort of person for whom it is unlikely to do so. Whilst their friends went and volunteered, and took concrete steps, they just kept trying that same strategy on the assumption that at least one was out there for them that met their requirements. And there just wasn't. Not in that timespan. Now, I'm not saying just give up and never try. Reversed stupidity isn't intelligence. But if you've been trying to make something work out - as a rule of thumb - for six months say, and you're not seeing concrete steps towards success - you should re-examine your fundamental assumptions. Preferably, if it's something high-stakes, with the assistance of a competent third party that you trust. Because maybe you're the problem, and maybe there's something you can do about it. And you'd best find that out now rather than spending 20 years on some warmly meant advice that perhaps isn't going to work out for you.
• deleted 11mo ago
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• anonyfox 11mo ago
  Seeing the other comments I feel like the luckiest moment of my life was meeting my future wife when I was at school with 16 and having been together since for 20+ years, through higher education and kids and house mortgage and all. Zero drama, mutual respect and affection, both still preserving some independence to maintain a „self“, good double income. Might sound stupid, but this major life area being just a rock solid fundament frees up so much energy my peers still struggle with nowadays quite often it’s insane in hindsight. Everyday life costs are lower, some risk taking is possible when someone has your back unconditionally and even supports it (as long as not going reckless), and a secure home base to return to is something I guess even money can’t easily buy. Short of being born already rich I guess that’s a cheat code with similar small odds, and I appreciate it. Then the „business opportunities“ become just something way more relaxed. Not identity level validation attempts or despair to get into a better life. Which again allows better judgement calls and reintroduces more fun and creativity into many things. Just my 2c for perspective
  • SeriousM 11mo ago
    I met my wife also at school at 16y and we're so glad and happy to be with each other since, 25y+. You put it in the right words: > Zero drama, mutual respect and affection, both still preserving some independence to maintain a „self". Just the income is from me alone which frees her up to have enough time for our kids. Having such a long time and deep relationship is quite rare, I guess.
• Aldipower 11mo ago
  Just try to enjoy your life. "The one" is a mindset of seeking for a "release". Frankly, this does not sound healthy and I guess there are bigger underlying problems.
• victorbuilds 11mo ago
  Needed to read this. 20 years building software for other people, finally launched my own thing a few weeks ago. Most days feel like nothing is working. But you only need one thing to click.
• Quiark 11mo ago
  My dumb ass read it as "all it takes is that you workout", just with the more fancy pronoun 'one'
• garyrob 11mo ago
  If you try 2N times to succeed in ventures which each have a 1/N chance of success, as N increases the probability of such as success quickly converges on about 86.5%. (The limit is 1-e^(-2).) So, if you have a LOT of chances to try things that are highly improbable but high upside, your odds are quite good.
  • hn_throwaway_99 11mo ago
    > So, if you have a LOT of chances to try things that are highly improbable but high upside, your odds are quite good. But that perfectly highlights why the "startup gamble" is a great bet for VCs but a horrible bet for most employees. Let's say N is, generously, 50 (i.e. 1 in 50 startups are a resounding success, which seems probably a bit over-optimistic but reasonable). VCs can easily spread investment around to 100 startups, but employees get a few swings at bat at most when it comes to where they work. For most things in life, you often just don't have that many chances. E.g. most people don't date a hundred people before finding their spouse.
• yuturs 11mo ago
  Did anyone else take this as “all it takes is for one to exercise” or am I the only one lol
  • SJC_Hacker 11mo ago
    I miss the days of legit journalism where we had these people called "editors" which catch these types of issues before publication
• programjames 11mo ago
  Wow, I really dislike this framing of life as a lottery. Yes, people can get lucky. You could win the lottery. Statistically, someone else will hold the winning ticket, every time. It's even worse, because graduate school admissions and startup success are correlated between attempts. If you bring a shotgun but you're not even aiming at the target, you're never going to hit it.
• dustfinger 11mo ago
  When I saw the title, I thought it was going to be about exercise :-P
• sapphirebreeze 11mo ago
  DOOM
  • ant6n 11mo ago
    Wolfenstein was pretty successful already. commander Keen did okay.
• sheepscreek 11mo ago
  This is beautifully put. I’ve heard it in a different context which was equally profound for me. While searching for the perfect home, after seeing a few, my realtor quipped something to the effect of “there is more than one perfect home for you out there”. I took that to mean that if I have a bunch of choices and they all feel right, then I can go with anyone and be content with the decision. I can tell myself it was the right call at the time. Why I like the authors interpretation even more is because when the chips are down, you just need the thing to work once (in many contexts) and that might be your golden ticket. Like the one VC that meets you out of a 100, or any of the examples the author wrote.
• oars 11mo ago
  Thank you for sharing this. Ome of the situations in the article is very relevant to me right now. I'm going to keep reminding myself now: "All it takes is for one to work out. And that one is all as I need."
• miljanm 10mo ago
  all it takes is for one to work out? yes, if your mind is set. if it is not, you don't stand a chance. either you have right mindset all along and it worked out eventually or you changed your mind in the course of the process. otherwise, you will fail all the time.
• andupotorac 10mo ago
  This is like "all it takes is one lottery ticket that wins".