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We are all animals at night
- Hiromy 3y agoCree firme
- janandonly 3y agoI was wondering why someone in the middle of the night would want a massage? Then, at about 70% through the story, I realised that in Canada, a massage parlour is not for getting massages but, basically, a whore-house. Why the misnomer?
- Mrjck 3y agohttps://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36986427 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36986427
- Mrjck 3y agoThere are more corrupt people in my country, especially for puan Maharani He is a rat with a tie that we deserve to break into his personal data to reveal his vicious secret #jokowi Dodo #darkweb
- draw_down 3y ago[flagged]
- ThrowAway1922A 3y agoA story as old as time. I’m am however increasingly tired of this glorification of sex work, it’s low skill low value work, end of story.
- WarOnPrivacy 3y agoI like her poignant observations of humans and moments. I feel like I could learn better humanity skills by listening to people who assess like this.
- hengheng 3y agoGreat writing! Seriously this is good stuff. For anybody that struggles with the length and slow-paced nature of this genre -- this is hackernews after all -- I had a much easier time imagining this as a radio piece. The writing style is very melodic, like it's meant to be read out loud. The noises of the city, the description of light and temperature, all made it feel very alive. Something to absorb in a very sensual way, quite the opposite of the how-to and faq texts we read at the office during daytime. (Ha.)
- ilaksh 3y agoIt's not a long article or slow-paced. It literally intersperses POV scenes from a brothel. If that can't at least hold your attention for a few pages, nothing will. I suggest that people read a few novels if they think this article is too long.
- donkeybeer 3y agoNovels have to justify themselves to be worth the read. Articles of this length would definitely do with a short comment or summary made by someone else to assess whether there's a point to reading them. There's a lot of journalists who are wannabe novelists and seem to suck at both skills.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- ignoramous 3y agoThey say, quite a few books could have been blog posts... Having read a hatful of books and blogs, I can see why that is.
- whimsicalism 3y agoTry to call in. I am an avid reader, but I also know that lots of people really struggle with long-form reading, can feel insecure about this even though they are likely in the majority, and react with defensiveness and pride to rhetoric like this. Emphasizing the beauty and value of reading imo is much more important if the goal is to encourage longer form reading, which can be a learned skill.
- lancesells 3y ago> What do you need if you’re out seeking services at night? Food, sex, shelter. This really encapsulates what all humans want and need. Food, sex & love, shelter & clothing. With only those three things you can live a happy life. Everything else is really to satisfy a desire for novelty and experience.
- eurleif 3y agoActually, it's just one thing: food & sex & love & shelter & clothing.
- kibwen 3y agoI'd rather quote the full bit, since the final sentence is important: > What do you need if you’re out seeking services at night? Food, sex, shelter. The staunch of a wound. What the author is trying to express isn't that someone out at night has different needs than someone out during the day, but rather that if you're out at night then whatever you're looking for has an urgency that outweighs sleep, like a bleeding wound.
- seabass-labrax 3y agoBy your definition, I'm not a human. But then again, I always have thought that Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs was upside-down.
- kdmccormick 3y agoYou value self-actualization above food and shelter? Like, have you ever been stuck out at night in the cold and rain without eating all day and thought, "I need to focus on pursuing my passions"?
- Exoristos 3y agoDues it surprise you that there are people on HN who have gone without food or proper shelter?
- 3y ago
- xcxcx 3y ago[flagged]
- venv 3y agoDevelopers?
- xcxcx 3y agoI'm going to rewrite this article on Rust
- rainworld 3y agoUnlike sex work, my “good” jobs didn’t threaten to overthrow traditional power structures. Many sex workers, including myself, have long hypothesized that the reason so many people in power work to keep the commercial sex trade marginalized is because they’re threatened by it—by the idea that it’s the only field where women outearn men, that it’s an industry where women get to call the shots, and that women profit off something that men have been told they’re entitled to for free: sex and attention in equal parts. Terminal delusion. Beyond parody.
- xcxcx 3y ago[flagged]
- WarOnPrivacy 3y agoI sense pride in cynicism here - and a proud display of ability to generate an unkind take.
- xcxcx 3y agoNot sure if you'd like a reply styled as Diogenes or as Alexander the Great
- 3y ago
- ilaksh 3y agoThe thing is, humans are ALL animals and 100% of the time. Group identification and primitive needs and instincts directly influence our behavior and the shape of society. Primatology should probably be required study for practicing politicians, economists, geopolitical analysts, etc.
- andrei_says_ 3y agoAnd: Seeing rational thinking as a layer serving the primitive needs vs an independent process capable of overriding them explains a lot. All our choices occur in the emotional centers of our brain (in his lectures George Lakoff often mentions research showing that brain injury in emotional centers erase the ability to choose / have a preference). The layer of rationalization deceives us into believing we somehow made an independent choice. One of Lakoff’s lectures: https://youtu.be/T46bSyh0xc0 https://youtu.be/T46bSyh0xc0
- DiscourseFan 3y agoIt's not really one or the other, clearly there is a level at which we have expanded our rationality far beyond its basic use to serve our needs, and built a society where we in fact never really get to have what we want and if you're sexually frustrated purchasing it is criminalized. We built our own cages because we're afraid we won't be able to wake ourselves up out of bed in the morning.
- andrei_says_ 3y agoI agree with your first sentence - it’s not one or the other - because they are so intertwined that they are hard to separate. I need to say that I have not yet experienced or seen an action which is not driven by needs (I subscribe to the NVC model of action). We have needs which make us want things. We rationalize based on preferences which is another label for needs. So, we act on needs, mostly subconscious, and tell ourselves stories. That’s about it.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- j-bos 3y agoOdd article for the front page of hn. But one thing about it resonates with me. People in corporate offices, turn off their humanity, and seem more like polite machines. Not to contradict the idea of night animals, more to say, there's a middle grounding that feels missing.
- pickledish 3y agoThis reads like poetry. Awesome writing, thanks for sharing it here
- Scubabear68 3y agoI am a very picky reader, and I rarely say this, but this is an exceptionally well written piece. The pacing, the wording, the sense of atmosphere, and what to say when are just incredibly well done. This is what writers should aspire to. Also, great hook (we are all animals at night).
- sam537 3y agoAs an animal with similar fastidiousness, I agree. I am happy to have found this. Reminded me of After Dark by Murakami.
- wizofaus 3y agoAgreed, found myself looking for the "like" button, something I virtually never click/tap when it's the first thing in your face at the bottom of a social media post.
- tuatoru 3y agoAgreed, except for the use of "diffuse" where "de-fuse" (or defuse) was meant. Tiny subediting error.
- MarcoZavala 3y ago[dead]
- atleastoptimal 3y agoThis is why I imagine sex robots will only be a good thing. The humanitarian promise of AGI is it serves human needs optimally and frees humans from the need to stoop to the lowest levels to serve them.
- AlecSchueler 3y agoAt the same time it might feed into the objectification of women which will actively harm the needs of half the population.
- SpriglyElixir12 3y agoIs this implying that male versions won't exist?
- AlecSchueler 3y agoObjectification of men is a far less alarming issue in our patriarchal society.
- sixothree 3y agoYou would have to make them a lot funnier.
- mensetmanusman 3y agoInstall dad jokes 9000
- Chris2048 3y agoNot if it displaces women as sex objects. Women can still be objectified by any other metric of usefulness, but at that point will reach parity with men.
- morelisp 3y agoTo paraphrase, even after AGI, many livelihoods will somehow still depend on men employing bad judgement.
- ianai 3y agoThis is very well written and gripping even. I don’t see the negatives other commenters are pointing out. Yes she’s talking about her perceptions born from her clients and years worked. That’s an absolute right for all of us, right? To simply relate the experiences we’ve had. She’s definitely seen a side of humanity that, while seen by many, doesn’t quite often get public visibility-sunlight. And lo and behold, it’s a kind of grungy crudeness-but still human and shared. Personally, I’ve worked in retail and in corporate in major casinos. People will assume they’re better than you and treat you as something like a servant simply because you’re the one taking their money for a thing. Or just because you “work here” as was the case in both retail and casino. That dynamic even exists in organizations between divisions and teams within the same organization. Ask yourself how that would change in the authors situation? I don’t have a thesis. May this serve as a good reminder to treat all people with decency and an amount of respect if not kindness. There’s exactly one right way to treat a person, as a person-an end unto his/it/herself.
- lmm 3y ago> I don’t see the negatives other commenters are pointing out. Yes she’s talking about her perceptions born from her clients and years worked. That’s an absolute right for all of us, right? To simply relate the experiences we’ve had. She's not "simply relating experiences" though. She goes beyond that, turning them into a general sociopolitical claim: > Unlike sex work, my “good” jobs didn’t threaten to overthrow traditional power structures. Many sex workers, including myself, have long hypothesized that the reason so many people in power work to keep the commercial sex trade marginalized is because they’re threatened by it—by the idea that it’s the only field where women outearn men, that it’s an industry where women get to call the shots, and that women profit off something that men have been told they’re entitled to for free: sex and attention in equal parts.
- ianai 3y agoThat, too, is simple. And ok. And ok to agree/disagree.
- deleted 3y ago
- momirlan 3y agogreat piece. the insecurity of life, and the need for a human connection. bravo
- sztelke 3y ago[flagged]
- ACow_Adonis 3y agoI feel like I'm missing some cultural context here that made this a semi- difficult read: obviously? the word "massage parlour" is some local euphemism for some kind of sex work and its implied they aren't actually masseurs/masseuses? but can someone explain to me exactly what the nature of the arrangement/work/ business she's working in is? is it just prostitution and for some reason they don't call it that in Canada? is it legal/illegal? is there an implication about its location? are they in some regulatory grey zone? is it men just dropping in to be touched or is it something more? are they just operating on a drop in schedule and does that imply something about the relative standing of the establishment compared to other sex work etc? are they contractors or operating their own business? please help me out HN :/
- nuancebydefault 3y agoI struggled with that aspect as well, but after reading the piece entirely, it becomes clear that massage parlour is used as an euphemism. Also about being legal or not, it's probably work in the lite-grey zone (it's not Texas after all). The schedule looks something like, during a fixed period of time at night you just wait until you get scheduled/picked. That said, I don't think it is very important for the article.
- yieldcrv 3y agoI felt it was because just as soon as I realized she was talking about a rub and tug where she gives handjobs instead of massages, she then mentions a mutual shower that I have no idea what she’s talking about. Are they both naked in the shower and nothing happens? Are these massage parlors in Finch Alley awesome? Does all of Canada specify “parlor” to mean $80 late night showers with prostitutes as distinctive from spas where people might have a license? This always happens to me when I read editorials from Commonwealth countries, the euphemisms are so deep and ingrained that I have no idea what they’re talking about. I could empathize better with more context. “I rubbed massage oil on a man’s chest at 1am and I was tired” that’s an entirely different article
- morelisp 3y ago> the word "massage parlour" is some local euphemism for some kind of sex work and its implied they aren't actually masseurs/masseuses? I'm genuinely curious where you live that this is not the case. It is such a euphemism in every Anglophone country, and (large parts of?) Germany and Italy. It is usually illegal (or at least unlicensed) even in places where prostitution has some kind of legal status.
- astroalex 3y agoWow, this was a unique and beautiful read. Incredible writing.
- bluenose69 3y agoThis is an exceptional piece of writing, finely crafted and suffused with unusually deep insight. I read a lot, and seldom have I run across a writer possessed of this level of skill. A writer's central task is to place the reader in another world, living another life. At this, the author succeeds with what seems like effortless grace. Few of today's award-winning novelists display this power. I do hope HN folks will take the time to read this essay.
- julianeon 3y agoFunnily enough, your observation was the basis of my criticism. I can state it semi-socratically. What is this article about? A woman who did sex work at a massage parlor. Summarize what she did, then. I... can't. I actually thought in the beginning that it may have been sensual, not sexual. Then she described it as sex work - which changed my mind - so it was sexual (incidentally, I have heard this critiqued in pieces before in creative writing classes - preferably a reader should not read 1/2 of your story and then mentally have to reframe everything that came before a sentence which unintentionally repositions everything). And not to be indelicate but... how? What did the sex part of it actually involve? I can think of a whole lot of variations of that, which run a big gamut of intimacy and (I imagine) danger, but I can't tell you how she fit into that. The fact that she bought condoms partially answered that, but it's still an incomplete picture. Also if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend during that time, how she talked to her parents about this, friends - how was security handled, health, pregnancy - basic social/workplace questions - all a blank. Maybe these were limitations imposed by the magazine itself and (ironically enough) the very power structure that she mentions as a threat. But I couldn't tell you what she actually did as a masseuse, which seems like a weakness of the piece.
- mensetmanusman 3y agoIt’s not the summary that matters, it’s the journey. Most people’s lives will end without a summary of accomplishments.
- DJHenk 3y ago> What is this article about? It is not an article, it is an essay. Wikipedia defines an "informal essay" as: characterized by "the personal element (self-revelation, individual tastes and experiences, confidential manner), humor, graceful style, rambling structure, unconventionality or novelty of theme," etc. > What did the sex part of it actually involve? The reason that this part is left to the imagination of the reader is that A) it is more powerful that way and B) the details don't really matter anyway to get the message and image across. These things should have been covered in your creative writing class too.
- jjtheblunt 3y agoi like the ending's implicit shout out to that of the Great Gatsby
- acc_297 3y agoI worked long months in the forestry industry (re-planting trees) during university it’s not so tough as sex work but sometimes people throw it in the bag of “low-skill” or “manual labour” jobs as if thought or critical thinking we’re not required. I have to say now working a “real” job now (for salary benefits etc.) I know way more forestry folks who could do my job today (consulting) than current coworkers who could dig out a stuck pickup truck properly, fix a broken generator, put out a brush fire… there are jobs which require accreditation or whatever but there’s no such thing as truly no-skill-required labour
- j-bos 3y agoThis is how I feel coming from the trades into the offices, my colleagues are often surprised when I say the work we do is easy.
- smabie 3y agoI mean, if this was true, then why do office workers generally earn more?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- Baeocystin 3y agoTrades peak lower, which drives the average higher for white collar work, but I think if you look at the median income for both, trades are actually higher. FWIW.
- quinnjh 3y agoWho earned more, the architect for the pharoahs pyramid or the person pushing one of the massive slabs of rock? Which job was harder?
- whimsicalism 3y agoThe question is which job requires more skill, not which job is harder
- whimsicalism 3y agoBeautifully written, even if I don’t necessarily agree with every single point made. Especially towards the end, I feel that she tries to emphasize the nobility and radical nature of this work, taking umbrage at Eric Adam’s use of the word “low-skill” to describe some of these sorts of jobs. But it seems somewhat belied by the fact that, afaict, as soon as she had the means to escape, she did. And the romanticization of sex work as the only job where women get to call the shots and make profit off of men… I am curious the degree to which this is really true for these massage parlors, which are often managed or extorted by male-run organized crime. [0] But the central message, one that seems like a call for dignity, really resonates with me. It is one of the most beautiful vignettes I have read in a long time. [0]: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/02/us/massage-parlors-human-trafficking.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/02/us/massage-parlors-human-...
- truculent 3y ago> Especially towards the end, I feel that she tries to emphasize the nobility and radical nature of this work, taking umbrage at Eric Adam’s use of the word “low-skill” to describe some of these sorts of jobs. But it seems somewhat belied by the fact that, afaict, as soon as she had the means to escape, she did. Just because something is skilful doesn’t make it enjoyable or rewarding. Not to mention a person’s health and safety (both economic and physical) being considered.
- ses1984 3y agoThe author didn’t assert that sex work is the only job where women get to call the shots. The author suggested that could be a reason why it’s marginalized. Because if it was legitimized, then women would call the shots.
- whimsicalism 3y agoI did not read it that way and I think that she would have phrased it differently if so. “an industry where women get to call the shots” she would have said “would get” imo if your interpretation was correct, just as you use ‘would’ in your comment. I took her to be describing sex work in the present, not some hypothetical future sex work. Here is the excerpt for those who want to judge for themselves: ‘Unlike sex work, my “good” jobs didn’t threaten to overthrow traditional power structures. Many sex workers, including myself, have long hypothesized that the reason so many people in power work to keep the commercial sex trade marginalized is because they’re threatened by it—by the idea that it’s the only field where women outearn men, that it’s an industry where women get to call the shots, and that women profit off something that men have been told they’re entitled to for free: sex and attention in equal parts. In my experience of the corporate landscape, there was none of this radical power structure, only an upholding of the traditional: men talking and women listening, men in powerful positions getting both credit and profit for the labour of women beneath them’
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- throwanem 3y ago> I felt little of the camaraderie I once did while working night shifts. I’m unsure why I felt this dissonance, and it occurs to me now that it could have been more self-imposed than anything. I doubt it. I've worked days and nights at different times in the same place, at a couple of jobs in different parts of the country. There's a real difference between what people are like in the daytime and nighttime worlds, and between people who are at home in the latter and those who are just visiting. I don't really miss it. But I do kinda miss it.
- selestify 3y agoWhat do you think causes this difference?
- qup 3y agoThe kind of people who are out at night; the kind of activities that are available; the kind of places that are open.
- Hextinium 3y agoThere is a comradery in that it sucks, you know it sucks and that we are just getting through it. No one is out to "get" you. You are also part of the suck club. The second you get another job they are reminded of all the people who take advantage of people in the suck club. You got out. They didn't.
- systems_glitch 3y ago"Embrace the suck."
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- throwanem 3y agoFear, of course. Abroad in the night, the human world grows tenuous, and one's connection to it likewise. Most people can learn to live in that, but you never feel perfectly at home with it. Nor should you; there's nothing like it to dispel the comfortable, foolish illusion that the world belongs to us, and not the other way around. Humans are better, I find, for a little fear of that sort. It makes us stick closer together than we do otherwise, gives us more incentive to look for the good in one another; camaraderie comes much easier, and that is part of what I miss. Both those jobs were customer service, and even the people on the phone were different: stranger certainly, sometimes desperate, but almost never spiteful like the day shift often was. The sun revolves around every narcissist, of course, but those excepted there is less pretense in all of us in night. Its very strangeness is the rest of what I miss. I find it frightful too, of course, but never because it's trying, which counts for a lot with me after living so long with humans. There's a lot to appreciate in that strangeness, for anyone who understands fear well enough to feel and not be driven by it - to know the difference between being afraid and being made to feel afraid. There's a wild and ancient beauty in the night to which nothing wrought by human hands compares, and an inescapable reminder that beyond all the frantic work of busy human hands, something vast beyond our comprehension still abides: the world itself, from which we never stop fleeing, despite that we neither can nor need. I hope whatever of this species emerges from the other side of the next few hundred years understands that better than today's version does - I can't imagine how they'd fail to, at any rate. I think they'll better understand the night than most of us can, too. Maybe by then the consequences of our lethal hubris will have far enough abated they'll even have some time to enjoy it, the way I did decades ago when I last lived a nighttime life.
- FooBarBizBazz 3y agoLet's get this straight. The person blessed with what is basically a panhandling superpower -- an attractive female body -- somehow says her marks, the ones paying $80, have an entitled attitude toward sexual attention. Pause and think about that. Do you think these guys had a Plan B to buy them an English degree? These places conduct zero-sum economic activity. One person loses money, one person gains money, and nothing of value is created. Draw a control volume around an economic activity to understand it. China: Opium in, silver out. Congo: Guns in, rubber out. This place: Money in, nothing out. A hallmark of exploiters is that they have contempt for their marks. Well, I sense more than a little contempt here. Don't trust this person around children or small animals. Of course she justifies herself eloquently; did you not just see what she spent the money on? An English degree. Moreover, she admits that she understands what she was doing: > my livelihood somehow still depended on men employing bad judgement. So don't get distracted. Draw a control volume. And stay away from these places, and these people. Most people here commenting, even those praising this writing, who will surely rush to defend her, must at some level clearly understand this. Like -- do you frequent prostitutes? ... Didn't think so. So you know I'm right.
- froggertoaster 3y agoAgreed, and I think your points will be missed amongst the cacophony of praise for the admittedly-entertaining article. Reminds you that you can dress anything up and people will accept it if it's eloquent and entertaining enough.
- xcxcx 3y agoAnd as long as it toes the line
- jakeinspace 3y agoI guess art, music, professional sports, and fine dining are all essentially zero-sum and useless as well then? What tangible benefit does a museum visitor get for their ticket? I presume your job must be much more important for the good of society than sex work.
- tracerbulletx 3y agoReminds me of the show Insomniac with Dave Attell
- systems_glitch 3y agoHey, someone else watched it, too! :P
- ian0 3y agoIve worked nights in manual & technical jobs and also found (and miss) the camaraderie she describes. I think a lot of it is more due to us being diurnal animals though, theres plenty of shitty jobs active during the day and theres just something fundamentally lonely/scary/exciting about working at night. Places that seem full are quiet and have a different character completely. You can hear echos of footsteps. Weather seems to be accentuated. Your going the opposite direction to everyone at the start and end of your shift. Its strange at a low level and everyone you meet is "in it" too.
- quacked 3y ago[flagged]
- mensetmanusman 3y ago“Why do sex work that you don’t want to do… when you could just go to Omaha?!” Uhhhh
- xcxcx 3y agoThe entirety of modern day Canada is saturated in arrogance and voluntary self-victimization. Seems like we've come to a point where people's interests are no longer to be trusted based strictly on geolocation. If only Canada could ban foreign news sources
- mvncleaninst 3y ago> "Woe is me. I lived as a night-walking member of the underworld, and although it was terrible I found it alluring, in a way". Yeah, everyone else who lived in that world justified it to themselves that way, too. You all deserve each other. Maybe you should visit a massage parlor friend ;) It might make you sound less pissed off... just a thought
- wiseowise 3y agoAre they wrong?
- dragonwriter 3y ago> Then leave. Live in a cardboard box. Go work in a warehouse. Go to Alaska and work on a fishing boat. Go to Omaha, Nebraska and work at a McDonald’s. Nobody made her do this “job” But I’ve seen many, many stories with similar tone from people who have done all those other things. Sex work frequently calls on people to do something that may be the farthest from what their emotional desire is at the time, but that's…not uncommon for work, especially work that is low paying (or highly paid largely because of the adverse conditions and not a high entry skill filter.) And living without work in a capitalist society ("live in a cardboard box") is…well, not an improvement, which is why few people with a choice choose it. > she did it because she had low standards for herself and found sexual validation of strangers easier than grinding out a living like other people do. Providing sexual validation for strangers is grinding out a living, and, regional variations in legality of particular patterns of doing so aside, isn't any less so than any other service work. > “I once watched a fast-food server placate a violent customer with nothing more than her voice and a stale honey cruller at her disposal.” This is given as an example of a “skill” that should be considered admirable. It should be considered unnecessary. It is both admirable and something that should be unnecessary. > No one should be behaving violently towards fast food workers That people shouldn’t be behaving violently towards fast food workers doesn’t make fast food workers with the skill to deal with that any less admirable. > and if they do, it shouldn’t be fast food workers who are placating them That someone else should be protecting fast food workers from situations like that (which, again, shouldn’t happen in the first place, so no one should need to) doesn’t make fast food workers having the skill to do it themselves less admirable, since we live in a world where it both does happen, and other people mostly aren’t there to do something about it. > We could just close fast food restaurants at night. Not sure how “people who would be fast food workers don’t have jobs” is an improvement here. Though it increases the number of people whose best option is sex work. > We could put people in jail for a long time if they behaved poorly towards service industry employees. There are plenty of acts (including “violence toward service industry workers”) already subject to substantial incarceration. That doesn’t protect people from them happening. Punishment is very poor prevention. > Her fond and admirable reminiscence of this act betrays her inability to imagine a society with actual standards for its residents No, it “betrays” her sense to admire people for their ability to live in the real world, rather than a fantasy ideal one that does not exist.
- throwaway22032 3y agoThis article is too left-wing echochamber for my tastes. Of the form - it can be done, and no-one literally dies, therefore it may be done. People don't work to marginalize prostitution because it's "the only field in which women outearn men". People work to marginalize prostitution because it's fundamentally morally bankrupt. Most well adjusted people eventually realise that casual sex is not the key to happiness in life. Not all of them will admit it, though. The illusions that one can have sex without emotional attachment, that relationships are just a side quest and careers are more important, all of that stuff comes back to bite people eventually.
- phuyngrbrn4 3y agoWell, to not be morally bankrupt, it takes a sincere will to be decent to others, and a logically coherent set of principles, no? Because the author of this article shows no sign of either, but neither do many of the commenters in this thread who only look at the symptom: "look kids, the stream of consciousness of a not particularly insightful person is being highlighted in the media because it serves a certain political agenda." The agenda performed in the article is, incidentally, the usual crypto-conservative pablum that gives the "left-wing echo chamber" its structural foundations, to be spiced up with AI drivel as the technology matures. The general form of the argument being made between the pixels is: "see how dumb and sad this person is - we need to protect ourselves from becoming dumb and sad, by punishing others for having ended up dumb and sad." And here's the catch. Punishment makes people dumber and sadder. What makes people less dumb and less sad is... intimacy. Which the article and ensuing discussing seems to be at least partially about. The author has evidenly lacked true human connection before, during, and after their sex work career, only finding it with other lost souls in the nightmarish desert of cities at night. Now she is briefly basking in the parasocial light of having her inner world exposed on The Media. (Aren't we all?) >People work to marginalize prostitution because it's fundamentally morally bankrupt. People really love throwing around the "fundamentallies" and the "radicallies", but what is the foundation, or the root, of the issue here? What's morally bankrupt here is that we live in such a way that results in the emergence of a black market for loving touch. To satisfy one's need for intimacy through "official channels", one is expected to participate in a costly and complicated social ritual with no guarantee of success. Imagine if buying food or renting a place involved pathological emotional enmeshment, and was prone to leave you with your humanity degraded ("heartbroken"). You are just as wrong as the author. The fundamental reason people work to marginalize prostitution is to maintain the profit margins of intimacy arbitrage. Men marginalize prostitution not out of the desire for control that feminists love to project upon them, but as a way of rationalizing sunk costs; and "decent" women marginalize prostitution purely as an anti-competitive measure, for the labor of being a decent human being is twice as arduous should you be identified as a woman. P.S. Protip: it's completely possible to have sex without emotional attachment. What trips people up is that participants must decide upon that from the start, and should never offer or request said emotional attachment for the duration of the encounter(s). Unfortunately, we are animals most of the time. Starved ones. Should the bait be proferred, it is likely to be taken - automatically, against participants' better judgements. Beware.
- Sparkyte 3y agoReferring to the title. Speak for yourself. Article is not something I was expecting.
- heroku 3y agoNo we're not.
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- mrdjtek 3y agoSince my ADHD didn't allow me to read this long article, I deferred to Claude.ai to summerize it and allow me to understand all the comments... Here's it is,rewritten in a summerized For 5 grueling years, the author worked long overnight shifts at a massage parlor in Toronto's industrial area. The 2pm to 2am days brought unpredictable clients and income, requiring emotional and physical intimacy when exhaustion left little to give. Yet amid the job's difficulties, the author found beauty in the simplicity of people's fundamental needs late at night—food, sex, shelter. Stripped of pretense, their raw desires connected them in basic human instinct and experience. A sense of community existed among fellow night workers—at the parlour, driving cabs, serving food. Brief moments conveyed camaraderie: a knowing glance, an extra pastry. The author sorely missed this unspoken bond after leaving for corporate office work. The professional world felt disconnected compared to the pack she once travelled with. The overnight world is dismissed as "low skill," but takes great skill to handle unpredictability and confrontations with grace when exhausted. The author developed deep respect for those keeping cities running 24/7 through their undervalued labor. Though difficult, the ephemeral moments of care and understanding within that transient world meant something real. Like the taxi driver gently ensuring her safe passage home in a snowstorm. The coffee shop server passing extra sugar despite her unconventional attire. Years later, the author still reflects fondly on the stories and bonds built while working nights. The brief connections and wordless care showed her a beautiful side of humanity she hasn't experienced since.
- nojvek 3y agoThis is exemplary writing. The contrast between gig work and corporate work. The line about sitting under florescent light in a cubicle rung true. In day time, things are so busy people are invading each others space bubbles, traffic raises the emotions. At night time, there seems more abundance, things are calmer, people have their space. People are kinder when they don’t have to fight for the same resources.