42 ms·

Limb lengthening surgery is becoming more popular

• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• bumblebritches5 5y ago
• pmdulaney 5y ago
  Gattaca.
  • timoteostewart 5y ago
    My first thought too
    • reducesuffering 5y ago
      It’s here.
  • e2le 5y ago
    Would it be so wrong to want your children to have a better life?
  • qiskit 5y ago
    Surprised this isn't the top comment. How long before gene therapy/selection removes the need for de-gene-erates to get these procedures? Sends chills down my spine thinking about ethan hawke's character cracking his leg bones to increase his height. Insane.
• fleddr 5y ago
  "a 2006 study on online dating found that a man who is 5'6'' needs an additional $175,000 to be as desirable as a man who is approximately 6' tall and only makes $62,500 a year." I guess I appreciate the brutal honesty. Wealth and height. And not to forget social status, as one woman in the linked article explained how she broke up with a short guy because of what others (might) think of it. Not a word is wasted on actual love. The stereotype that women barely ever date "below" them, in wealth, height, status, remains true. Your character still matters, but only after checking the above boxes. Men are selected by utility, with disastrous consequences for those that get left behind, as there's no mercy for them. You can't explain the harsh "be 6' or keep moving" requirement or the open ridiculing of short men on evolutionary selection alone. It's a US-dominant cultural trend. In many other countries no woman would have such exact and absolute demands. It might be a soft unspoken preference at best. Making it a "do or die" requirement is cultural. Similarly, wealth is not an evolutionary selector for the simple reason that wealth didn't exist until 10K years ago. You could make the point though that wealth is a representation of security, in an indirect way. In any case, I just find it disturbing how superficial the matchmaking is. When you use a criteria, it's supposed to increase your chance of success, meaning a "happily ever after" story. None of these criteria do that. Beauty fades and none of us are beautiful in the morning. Wealth doesn't buy love. Height does absolutely nothing for a relationship. And yet women insist on it. The female version is equally disturbing but different. I've never met or talked to a man that finds fake boobs, duck lips, botox, fake bums, fake tans, an inch of makeup in any remote way attractive, or a "selector". So the depressing reality is that women largely do this in a competition towards other women, and this perverted rat race knows many victims. For the cynics that may think that I'm coping, I'm not. I'm 6"4 and in a loving long term relationship. That doesn't stop me from caring about the perverted mate selection dynamics of today that are downright cruel and throws good people aside as if trash.
  • runnerup 5y ago
    > The stereotype that women barely ever date "below" them, in wealth, height, status, remains true. Your character still matters, but only after checking the above boxes. Men are selected by utility, with disastrous consequences for those that get left behind, as there's no mercy for them. You can't explain the harsh "be 6' or keep moving" requirement or the open ridiculing of short men on evolutionary selection alone. If it was this cut-and-dry, 80% of American women would just be single at any given point in time, or they'd all be in polyamorous relationships, or dating their own gender. Only 20% of American men are 6'0". I'm assuming that it's not this cut-and-dry, and that most American women are willing to date the other 80% of men.
    • fleddr 5y ago
      Fair enough, I'd then rephrase that women generally attempt to select at equal or higher level (in wealth, status, strength) and will at times settle for the closest match to that ambition. Men are far more lax in their criteria. We could just accept that as "the way it is", but modern developments in this dynamic create horrendous imbalances. There was an excellent article about it a while ago, but I don't have the link, so I'll try to reproduce the gist of it. Assume the behavior that women select "above" them. Now add the trend where women are rapidly rising in their economic status. The logical outcome is that a growing number of women are basically selecting for a "super man", that are in very short supply. They need to be even more economically successful than before, and of course easy on the eyes and able to do male chores. And emotionally mature/advanced. And....and.....and....and. This dynamic is often confirmed by research on dating sites where the vast majority of female attention goes to the "top" 10% of men, whilst everybody else is pretty much ignored. This in turn creates a counter-reaction where the ignored men basically just use a drag net, posting many low effort messages (any love is good love) that confirm to the women that those men are of a poor quality. For sure, a lot of settlement and compromises will happen to match more than just 10%, but the point of the article was that the elevated criteria leaves behind an enormous group of men, in the US running into the millions. These men might be low wage workers with average looks, and not much else going for them. This used to be enough, but it isn't anymore. They get no match. Ever. Many run into depression, start drinking, end up on the streets, kill themselves. The reason I'm mentioning this is because it's worthy to know this, it's a fairly new development that few talk about. And I say it to highlight how cruel our society is towards men at the bottom. If as a man you don't make it on your own, there's zero empathy. I'll be hated for saying it, but women play a decisive role in this dynamic. Whilst for sure they can date whoever they want, the stubborn refusal to even consider vast groups of men based on their wealth or height is inhumane. I find it particularly hypocritical in light of modern feminism where it's often expressed how household and childcare tasks should be more equally divided. These men would be an ideal fit. They'd have the less important job, thus more ability to do it. I'm sure that amidst millions of such men, one can find a nice guy with reasonable looks. But no. They're not even considered. I guess the point wasn't equality after all. The patriarchy is powered by women.
• georgia_peach 5y ago
  Goliath the Philistine was six cubits and a span. The internet tells me that 6'0" is the manlet cutoff. He should have either embraced his original height, or asked for a discount since the doctor was two inches short of the mark.
  • milkey_mouse 5y ago
    I'd imagine one can only lengthen their limbs so much before they end up looking like a Japanese spider crab.
    • georgia_peach 5y ago
      Japanese spider crab is aesthetic compared to many of the abominations coming out of elective surgery these days.
• djohnston 5y ago
  Do you think remote first companies will be at an advantage because physical biases like height, age, and weight have less signal to form against?
  • jghjjhjkh 5y ago
    No, the opposite. This is driven by apps and screen mediated interaction. In real life every person has thousands of facets that give a holistic impression. And people more easily have genuine connections with each other. Online there is instead a huge focus on the big few. And they take on the role of dealbreakers.
    • elihu 5y ago
      A random anecdote: there's a guy with a YouTube channel called LookMumNoComputer that features unusual electronic musical instruments and modular synthesizers. Most modular synthesizers use the Eurorack format popularized by Doepfer, but LookMumNoComputer uses his own format with taller panels and 1/4" jacks instead of the Eurorack-standard 1/8" jacks. He mentions in one of his videos that when people meet him in real life they're often surprised that he's actually fairly tall. In his videos he looks smaller than he really is, in part because the things he's being filmed next to are larger than standard size.
  • __derek__ 5y ago
    Maybe, but many remote-first companies eventually hold in-person events. I recently met the folks on my all-remote team for the first time, and it was a little jarring to see the differences between expectation and reality.
    • etempleton 5y ago
      I would also argue height advantages do not really factor in until one reaches leadership positions. At that point the job probably dictates being in person at least part time.
      • deleted 5y ago
• jjeaff 5y ago
  Seems like such an extreme surgery for a few inches. I would think that a treatment as extreme as this should require at least attempted psychiatric treatment before going to full on broken femurs. But maybe an inch can make much more difference than I think. I am literally one inch taller than this guy and I cannot ever in my life remember someone calling me short or disparaging me for my height. I do agree that being a little bit taller would be an advantage in many ways. But so would being born into wealth or being extremely attractive.
  • smt88 5y ago
    > I would think that a treatment as extreme as this should require at least attempted psychiatric treatment before going to full on broken femurs. Isn't this true of any cosmetic surgery? They all carry some amount of expense, pain, and risk. > I do agree that being a little bit taller would be an advantage in many ways. I suspect that most people who get this surgery are thinking mostly about their ability to date women. That single issue can definitely be make-or-break for some people's happiness.
    • jjeaff 5y ago
      Yes, probably for a lot of cosmetic surgery. But even something as invasive as a facelift or breast augmentation doesn't seem nearly as extreme and chiseling through the femur bone and inserting expanding metal pistons. Most other cosmetic surgeries don't have the risk of making you unable to walk.
  • ReactiveJelly 5y ago
    I have to get a few letters of sanity to get genital surgery. It'll probably turn out the same with stuff like this.
    • rootusrootus 5y ago
      I know it's not what you're referring to, but I just have to say that the first doctor to figure out a really plausible way to add a couple inches of penis length without serious side effects is going to be very wealthy.
• nosefrog 5y ago
  As a 5'5" guy, no one ever calls me short, and when I joke about being short my friends tell me that they don't perceive me as short unless I'm joking about it, so I stopped haha.
  • ichugwindex 5y ago
    This has been my experience as well. Actually the only ones who have ever commented on height in general were women.
  • khazhoux 5y ago
    Exactly. I'm same height as guy in the article and no one has ever commented on my height at work (or, pretty much anywhere else). I think Scott had lots of other issues going on, but blames his height. Of course I would have liked to have been 6' and looked more like a "commanding leader" when I march into a room. Maybe it would have given me a career boost... but I could also get that from hitting the gym and bulking up, or buying better-fitted clothes, or (heaven forbid) put more effort into my job and actually become a more commanding leader!
    • Beaver117 5y ago
      >I could also get that from hitting the gym and bulking up, or buying better-fitted clothes, or (heaven forbid) put more effort into my job! And what if you have done all that and are still mocked for your height?
      • Jtsummers 5y ago
        Find a better community. If people are mocking you (especially for things outside your control, but also generally), you oughtn't be around them. I've left social groups and "friends" behind for lesser things than mocking people over height.
      • khazhoux 5y ago
        I guess I'd say then he's just living amongst very, very shitty people. I don't know the right solution in that case. My point is only that when height is a barrier, there are almost certainly other things that can be improved, with some effort. (or, buy lifts, which is zero effort and effective for an inch or 1.5" boost)
• jmrm 5y ago
  This could be helpful to people who wants to enter some kind of jobs who need more height (like being a police agent in some European countries), but I find a huge thing for other reasons. For what it means to dating, I think the requirement to be at least 6 feet tall for US women would disappear due to statistics (the mean male height in the USA is 5'9"). Heck, some guys who are 5'7" or 5'9" says to those women they are 6 feet and they believe it; It's more a psychological thing than a real preference as a have seen.
  • throwaway-jim 5y ago
    Do you actually think they will be fit for police jobs after such surgeries?
    • cm2012 5y ago
      Yeah these surgeries leave your body fairly fragile is my understanding.
    • jmrm 5y ago
      Probably not, but I know cases where some people had silicon prothesis implanted in the head to get up to 5 cm (about 2 inches) of height to pass the requirement, so I won't be surprised someone do this instead.
  • bongoman37 5y ago
  • deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
• ad404b8a372f2b9 5y ago
  That's incredibly sad, the comparison to boob and nose jobs is apt. It's a symptom of a sick society when people are so insecure about their bodies they feel they have to undergo unnecessary surgery to fit in. My cousin had this procedure done almost 30 years ago, but she was pathologically small, at a height which makes it hard to function.
  • Pxtl 5y ago
    AFAIK the boob and nose job comparison is a bit off because those are pretty harmless and safe compared to this incredibly dangerous process.
    • zdragnar 5y ago
      "Safe" is a pretty relative term; there are no shortage of complications that can arise from any of these surgeries (though the risk profiles are different, there are definitely still risks of permanent injury). At the end of the day, these are elective surgeries too frequently used as an attempt to mask a pathological low self esteem.
      • hobomatic 5y ago
        Yes it's a relative term, but it's a comparison; it's being used as a relative metric.
      • meowface 5y ago
        That's why they said "compared to this".
    • dubswithus 5y ago
      Implants have to be replaced eventually, right? So the danger is having a surgery every X years.
    • Tao332 5y ago
      You should see the potential stats on the mortality of Brazilian Butt Lift surgery. Probably a better comparison. It's fscking tragic.
• eljimmy 5y ago
  Damn, that was sad to read. Kid needs to get unhooked from social media.
• uncomputation 5y ago
  I find these subtle, yet extremely intense neuroses we see so often in Western cultures fascinating. The patient remarks on one TikTok video in particular that seemingly tormented him. I had never once thought a few inches height difference in a couple was odd or even worth remarking upon and yet there seems to be this vast, largely untapped sensitivity in men being short. Similar things for sexual activity (incels) and breast size (breast augmentations are by far the top cosmetic surgery). They all seem to be little things people joke about sometimes but which have disproportionately negative effects on the butt of the jokes' psyches. I wonder if this is unique to Western/materialistic cultures or more widespread. Whichever, I am sure the scale of social media makes these neuroses worse.
  • foota 5y ago
    Korea is famous for plastic surgery.
    • uncomputation 5y ago
      Very true; yet they are also famously materialistic and capitalistic (see the many film commentaries on capitalism out of South Korea). I wonder if these surgeries are by Western or Korean beauty standards. That is, are people largely trying to obtain Western features through surgery.
      • filoleg 5y ago
        > are people largely trying to obtain Western features through surgery. In my personal opinion, it depends. For some, like double eyelid surgery, absolutely yes. For others, like the V-line jaw surgery (aka mandibuloplasty, but the colloquial name is pretty self-descriptive), I would say no. And some are just universal and are done by people of all kinds of cultures/races, like face-lift surgeries (aka rhytidectomy) or nose-jobs (aka rhinoplasty).
    • rapsey 5y ago
      As well as big parts of South America.
• parenthesis 5y ago
  Would Prince be sexier, or have better tunes if he were taller? Would Danny DeVito be funnier if he were taller?
  • aaaaaaaaaaab 5y ago
    Would Tom Cruise not be a scientologist?
    • SemanticStrengh 5y ago
      asking the real questions
    • Tao332 5y ago
• askonomm 5y ago
  If height is so important, why not relocate? I'm 6.2, but Northern European, and I see myself as quite average around these parts, and often meet people taller than me. When I lived in Argentina, I felt like a giant. South tends to have shorter people, so perhaps if you feel out of place, you'd feel more in-place there. Just a thought. At least I'd rather do that than undergo such a treatment.
  • semitones 5y ago
    And what do you do if you're short in the south?
    • everly 5y ago
      Address the mental issues that are causing you to fixate on height and how others perceive you.
      • havelhovel 5y ago
        That would involve living in denial or becoming a hermit since these perceptions are often verbalized unprompted.
        • everly 5y ago
          Doesn’t mean you need to fixate on them.
    • Arubis 5y ago
      Socioeconomically, that makes you statistically unlikely to be someone that can afford elective limb-lengthening surgery, so you probably live with it.
    • downrightmike 5y ago
      stilts
• bongoman37 5y ago
• chrischen 5y ago
  > “Don’t be so sure of yourself, short man!” The problem is that it's still socially acceptable to see short stature as some objective faux-pas. There's really no difference between a person proudly declaring they only like "white" people and a person declaring they only like "tall" people. If the guy said "Don't be so sure of yourself, black man" maybe it would have been acceptable in the 1920s, but it surely isn't now, and the fact that we can't see that calling someone "short" derogatorily is the same form of prejudicial discrimination shows that we as a society still don't understand the root of racism and prejudice. It's wrong to deride a person based on skin color not because it hurts their feelings, but because our preconceived notions on their inferiority hold no objective basis in reality except those derived from our flawed social perceptions. Maybe at one time short stature was a decent signal for childhood malnutrition, but in our modern society short stature is mostly a matter of genetics, and there aren't really downsides to short stature in modern life except socially derived ones. It used to be sexy to be fat, but as social perceptions caught up with the reality that calorie dense foods was actually abundant, we shifted our social preferences to fit bodies.
  • sonicggg 5y ago
    You're comparing apples to oranges. Not trying to guess your height, but it seems you got personally attacked by the fact that society in general looks down on short guys. Different from skin colour, there's an evolutionary trait to height preference. Studies have shown that heterosexual women prefer partners taller than them. It's understandable this subconscious bias. And what seems like discrimination, it's just a natural product. Similarly, men have always shown preference to larger breasts and hips, signs of fertility. We can't, even shouldn't, shut down our instincts due to politically correctness.
    • onion2k 5y ago
      We can't, even shouldn't, shut down our instincts due to politically correctness. Of course we should. Relying on reasons that would have been acceptable to a caveman 10,000 years ago is no basis for modern society. We've beaten evolution. Modern science, medicine, and society means evolutionary pressures can be ignored - women with bigger breasts and hips aren't any more likely to have successful offspring now because women without those traits can go to Walmart for baby formula and a GP if their baby gets ill. Evolution has no bearing any more. Why keep using it as a reason?
• _bfhp 5y ago
  In a century or two it will be wild that doctors could just get up in the morning and do these things. How far does this stuff have to go for anyone to reckon with this? If I have a psychological need, with a fancy name, for people to eat me, can a surgeon just cut off my arm and feed it to people? Why not?
• 3qz 5y ago
  Lookism is much worse than racism or sexism but nobody ever wants to talk about it.
  • Inu 5y ago
    Interesting, searching for threads about "lookism" on this site produces zero results.
    • SemanticStrengh 5y ago
      A searchable consequence of Lookism is body dysphoria. IPEDs have never been that popular and it is only a matter of time before men start to artificially enhance their appearance via makeup too. Tiktok is amplifying those network effects and beauty standard competition pressures to a never before seen level. Mankind should have banned it while it was still time.
  • chii 5y ago
    it depends on what you mean by 'worse' though. People choose mates based on perceived genetic fitness using proxy metrics, such as symmetry, height, skin color and other traits (which may or may not be genetic, but is assumed to be, like intelligence). the fact that today, women have become more selective of these traits than the past, due to their new found economic opportunities and freedoms, means that some subset of males who would've been selected in the past (when women's choices were much more limited) are now alienated (rightly or wrongly so). But i dont believe there to be a solution to this lookism problem, while still maintaining freedom of choice in mates. I do believe there's a solution to systemic racism, but not for "lookism".
    • 3qz 5y ago
      It’s not just in mating. The ugly people wage gap is likely much larger than the gender or racial wage gap.
• ironman1478 5y ago
  I can't comment about the career opportunities that tall people seem to get more of, but the main take away I have from this article is people should stop using social media. It will always surface something to be insecure about. Also, I've seen short (and bald!) people have amazing dating lives. The key is that they're confident, funny, and actually care about the people they interact with. It's so easy to blame something like height so one don't have to improve who they are on the inside.
• 3qz 5y ago
• rootusrootus 5y ago
  This is the kind of surgery I might expect someone who is closer to 5 feet might use to get nearer to normal range. I'm pretty much average myself (71 inches) and I wouldn't look at a 67 inch tall guy and think "wow he's short." He's still taller than the vast majority of women. I think the money would be better spent on therapy if it really is that depressing to be 5'7". Also, anybody making short jokes is a jerk and should be shamed. Anyone calling 5'7" short has some problems of their own to sort out.
  • pram 5y ago
    They’re burying the lede on this story. This guy runs an OnlyFans where he gets paid to dominate other men. He psychologically wants to be taller because he doesn’t feel like his (completely unremarkable) height is appropriately dominating.
    • meowface 5y ago
      You're reversing cause and effect: >Scott first heard about the procedure when he was in high school. He watched a few YouTube clips about it but dismissed it at the time. “I was like, ‘That’s sick, I would never do that.” But he kept researching, and about three years ago, he became convinced it was the solution he was looking for. “I felt miserable,” he said. “There were things throughout my day, every day, that would bother me. I felt attacked or unfairly criticized due to my height.” Then he had a revelation: “When I realized what was really holding me back was the obstacle of money, I was like, ‘Oh, it’s just a game. If I can get $75,000, then I’m done feeling like this.’” >The goal gave him clarity. “I was not waking up and crying every day in my mask, walking around the neighborhood. Instead, it became ‘OK, I just have to get on my grind and figure out how to get the money.’” So Scott, who is bi, got to work and, in February 2021, started an OnlyFans page. Within a few months on the platform, he zeroed in on a niche: financial domination, a form of humiliation kink where clients pay him to degrade them and take their money. By January 2022, by supplementing his OnlyFans earnings with some of his savings and a small loan, he had enough to pay for the procedure.
      • astrange 5y ago
• karaterobot 5y ago
  > There are no concrete numbers on how many people are having this procedure (though a 2020 BBC report found that hundreds of men have it every year) So, by "hundreds" they mean definitely less than a thousand people. Presumably much less, or else they'd have "almost a thousand". But in any case, they really have no idea how many people are undergoing this surgery, or how much it has changed over time, because nobody has any hard numbers. Not a strong basis for a headline. I am not trying to trivialize the anxiety or social stigma short men face, but the phrase but "becoming more popular" in this headline is such a weak, almsost meaningless statement that I wish they would have crafted a less click-baity headline.
• aaron695 5y ago
• Avicebron 5y ago
  I mean women suffer from this too, my gf is 5.1 and constantly complains about not finding things in her size, not being able to reach stuff, so I mean, i suppose it is a real disadvantage I can imagine how humilitating it must feel if someone has to get a milkcrate to put in your garage so you can reach a shelf.
  • valec 5y ago
    i'm sorry but if my only concerns as a shorter man were not reaching things on the shelf my life would be immensely better
  • mellosouls 5y ago
    For "normal" shortness (eg non-dwarfism), there is no way women generally have a comparable negative experience to men (that is not to comment in any way on the many other prejudices women face); the latter have a significant part of their social place and psychological health influenced by it.
    • Avicebron 5y ago
      isn't the average for women 5.4-5? Thinking you look like a child seems like a fairly big social disadvantage, the difference between 5.10 and 6.2 is relatively comparable.
      • deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
  • FooBarWidget 5y ago
    When I am in a store and I can't reach for the item on the highest shelf, I unapologetically jump to get it, not minding what other people think. It's the store's fault for not providing a chair.
• paulpauper 5y ago
  yeah but your arms will now appear short
  • Jtsummers 5y ago
    Not if the lengthening is in the legs and only 2-3 inches. Your torso may appear short when compared to the legs (but probably not at just 2-3 inches), but the arm length's appropriateness to body size is more often going to be based on comparison to the torso itself. People don't normally fold up so their arms and legs are near enough to make a proper comparison.
• ilaksh 5y ago
  Short stature actually is objectively a disadvantage in dating and the workplace for men. However, as someone who is barely 5'7", I have never found there to be a lot of joking or something about it or anything really in my face. I know it has affected me. But I also don't really feel inferior in any way. Compared to human males overall I am fairly close to average in height. But really my self-worth is based on things like integrity and problem solving ability. So if I don't trigger a mating instinct in a lot of females that's too bad, but I don't actually feel like a lesser person or something. I actually believe that within a few hundred years unaugmented biological humans are going to be mainly irrelevant. Things will be run by AIs/robots with far superior intellects and capabilities, along with some cyborgs (maybe). In fact, I believe that the human form will become passé among intelligent agents.
• _vdpp 5y ago
  Being tall isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Always hitting your head on things, and being short of breath all the time because the air is thinner up there.
  • robotresearcher 5y ago
    Unable to buy pants, kitchens and bathrooms are too short so cooking and washing dishes are back-aching activities. Economy seating in airplanes is almost impossible. Vacuum cleaner handle not long enough. Few car brands have seats that go back far enough. It’s very hard to buy a bicycle. Nothing terrible, just annoyances. No big deal compared to dumb social prejudice against shorter men.
    • hnarayanan 5y ago
      No easy places to hide when playing hide and seek with your kids.
• theknocker 5y ago
• SemanticStrengh 5y ago
  The truth is, growth hormone inoculated at young age increase lifespan and healthspan in addition to improving cognition, muscle size and height. As a reminder, growth hormone given after ~20-30 year actually reduce lifespan/healstpan. That's simply because you only want to grow healthy tissue, at 30 you are already mutating/oxidating too much. although could be pharmacologically adressed too.
• emptybits 5y ago
  > “Then I insert a rod — we call it a nail or a rod — that goes inside the bone. The rod is magnetic and it has gears. Then there’s an external device that communicates with the nail. And over time, little by little, it lengthens out the nail.” The lengthening happens gradually. “We usually say about a millimeter a day, until they get to their desired height.” The "external device that communicates with the nail" part should perk up hacker ears, with various motivations. o_O
  • jasonhansel 5y ago
    If your bones get unusually hot, they may be mining Bitcoin for North Korea.
    • Tao332 5y ago
  • thundergolfer 5y ago
    I’ve had this surgery 4 times, and the latest was 2019 where I used this “external device”. It’s using magnetism to manipulate the nail. You place it over the right spot on your leg and it makes ‘back and forth, back and forth’ type noises. Definitely no internal computers involved.
    • emptybits 5y ago
      Thanks for sharing! So the article stretched with "device that communicates".
    • eps 5y ago
      Can you explain where the "extra" bone matter comes from? The article said the bone gets cut and it wasn't clear if it get cut through and then two halves are shifted away from each other or the cut is more on an incision into the bone and the the bone just gets stretched by this device.
      • 5y ago
• SomaticPirate 5y ago
  I had a short friend in high school who was insecure about his height. He is about 5’3. In his eyes, it was the first thing people noticed about him. Last time I saw him he had gotten incredibly fit. Most people noticed his muscles more than the fact that he was short (also you might he less likely to tease someone who can throw your 6 foot body across the room). I think that would be a more appropriate investment than this if it bothered you so much. I also think it gave him more confidence. I worry the individual in the article will end up despondent that they aren’t “over 6 feet”.
  • tomjakubowski 5y ago
    Shorter bodybuilders tend to look more muscular too because of their shorter limbs and torso.
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• thrower123 5y ago
  I wish I'd hit 6'6" like I was supposed to, according to the old wive's tale method of doubling your height at two years old. I could have dunked easily, instead of just that one golden time I jumped freakishly high.
  • deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  • prawn 5y ago
    Funny you should mention that - I remember when younger that we measured my younger brother at two, and he grew up to hit the predicted height, reaching 6'9". Played basketball professionally. When he outgrew me as a teenager, my only chance in one-on-one was to play rougher and call no fouls. My dunks were on the school outdoor court with a slightly bent-down ring!
• wenmoon 5y ago
  considering that taller men make more money, and having more resources is the way to compete in business/life, this is not a surprise forget dating even, i'd say that is a 2nd order effect of having more resources anyway
• thangalin 5y ago
  For folks in this thread making statements such as, "I don't see how one can dictate to others what they should find attractive," the negative social stigmas towards men of short stature go far beyond physical attraction. (There's absolutely nothing wrong with women finding taller men attractive.) https://twitter.com/heightismxposed https://twitter.com/heightismxposed Swap "short guy" for "Jew" in the quotations from those twits that have nothing to do with attraction: > I feel sorta bad, but when short guys talk to me all I can think is "wow, what is this miniature dude even saying?" > cute short guys are waste of space and life tbh > I don't take short guys serious at all. > Ugly, short men kill yourselves! > I can't respect short guys especially if we're the same eye level, I feel like I can beat you up lol > Men under 5 feet 9 arent really men. > There's too many short guys in the world Hopefully the problem is apparent. (The first quote I listed is by a man, AFAICT.)
  • deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  • rayiner 5y ago
    > Swap "short guy" for "Jew" in the quotations I feel like I need to point out that nobody ever genocided millions of short guys based on their height. :-/
    • ajwfew 5y ago
      [dead]
    • thangalin 5y ago
      s/Jew/woman; s/Jew/black man; s/Jew/elderly; etc.
  • chrisseaton 5y ago
    Even people I respect use 'short' as some kind of slur against people they don't like. For example against Putin. (Doesn't matter what you think of Putin - slurs based on personal appearance are always wrong against anyone full stop.)
• jasonhansel 5y ago
  It's pretty telling that the surgeon they mention advertises on the same social networks that cause the underlying body image issues. Clearly he knows that the people using these apps regularly will make up a disproportionate share of his clientele.
• mdoms 5y ago
  This guy Scott was 5'7". His attitude about his height was a mental illness and shouldn't be validated, it should be treated.
• ponder4722 5y ago
  Everything we are judged on - appearance, intelligence, earning potential - is a random dice roll of DNA that none of us control. Yet people take credit (pride or shame) for these traits. Pondering this has left me more detached and unimpressed with the human society game and competition... but what else is there? What am "I", if anything, beyond the randomly assigned DNA-based traits?
  • cjbgkagh 5y ago
    The same random DNA lottery applies to women. I think the difference is the normalization of cruelty and inefficiencies in the dating market. I think a lot of women end up deeply unhappy but by the time they’re that age they’re largely ignored.
    • ponder4722 5y ago
      For sure. I was thinking of human beings (all life forms maybe), not just men.
    • ss108 5y ago
      It applies way harder and more cruelly to women as far as dating goes. A physically unattractive man with a good personality + social skills can do very well with women. Same cannot really be said of a physically unattractive woman.
      • cjbgkagh 5y ago
        Certainly, I begrudge the normalization of cruelty for short men and unattractive women. It’s not the first time people have been cruel, it certainly won’t be the last. In my social circles those exhibiting such cruelty would be quickly ostracized. Similarly if someone was racist. For that reason it’s not something I’ve had to face but I believe people when they tell me their experiences with it.
  • Crabber 5y ago
    The problem is that you see yourself as a completely isolated individual rather than a continuation of your ancestor's genetics. You don't have a "random dice roll of DNA", you have a very specific lineage of DNA passed to you by your parents. You are the sum of your parents, and a reflection of all of your ancestors before you. I don't see anything irrational with taking pride (or shame) in the ancestral line that resulted in your genetics.
• kingkawn 5y ago
  Height always seemed like the go to excuse for men with unattractive personalities
• Ancalagon 5y ago
  I hate, absolutely hate, that men have to worry so much about something they can't control. My best friend is below average height, and god bless him he never let that stop him from getting women, but I've seen him made fun of for it over and over from other "friends" for years. I call it out nowadays but didn't have the chutzpah to do it when we were in high school. It makes my blood boil so much that people will be quick to judge someone so much for their height - this friend is literally the nicest person I know. Would people mock others for disabilities, skin-color, facial structure, weight, chest-size, etc. as openly as they mock men's height, society would look very different.
  • SV_BubbleTime 5y ago
    I have a long standing rule that nothing is off limits to poke someone over - except immutable things. It’s the one bit of advice I’ll make sure to pass on.
    • afr0ck 5y ago
      The problem with your comment is that it classifies short stature as a bad negative trait. In my humble opinion, except in pathological cases, short stature is a normal thing. It should not even be a subject of mockery because being short is not bad or negative or tragic. If a person is healthy, functional, fit and he is 5'4, I don't see why that is viewed negatively in modern society and it is mocked for, like being a 5'4 is a handicape or something. It doesn't make any sense at all. They can run, jump, breed, fight, think, work, drink, fuck, drive, sing like another other taller person, and they can also even be better and excel. It's really an absurd thing. I never understood this and it has always baffled me and when someones makes a joke on short stature, I just don't get it why it's funny or why it's a valid mockery.
      • SV_BubbleTime 5y ago
        I didn’t say anything in the sort. I said I don’t poke at peoples immutable characteristics, period. Are you just looking to be offended? And no for what it’s worth… short people do not run, jump, or fight the same. We could play an anecdote game all day where you find the best historical examples, and i counter them, but let’s not. There are things that make us different, be ok with that, because you sure as hell can’t change it.
• LAC-Tech 5y ago
  Was the stigma against short men a thing before online dating where everyone had to post their heights publicly? I remember in my teens/early 20s - before dating apps were a thing - having several much shorter friends than me that were much more popular with the ladies.
  • ratww 5y ago
    I remember the same, I'm quite tall but I had a few short friends who were very popular. I have the impression that this is mostly a problem among younger people. The "only men over 6 inches" that people report seeing on Tinder feels almost like a meme that women are taking too seriously.
    • prawn 5y ago
      I suspect the same. Dating later in life, I think people realise that there are more important traits to seek in a partner. Got a friend who's under-employed, overweight, grey and around 50, and he gets dates because he's charismatic.
  • Xeronate 5y ago
    There are still plenty of short men doing perfectly fine and plenty of tall guys doing terribly. I think many men have a very poor understanding of what the women they want want out of their relationships.
  • q1w2 5y ago
    Women have always preferred tall men - it is innate. I remember women in old movies from the 1960s refer to "tall, dark, and handsome men".
• Barrin92 5y ago
• AussieWog93 5y ago
  All these guys in here talking about the extreme discrimination against short men, where is this occurring? I say this as someone who is 5"7. I thought it was a meme on Tinder that incels blew out of proportion, but apparently it's bigger?
  • qayxc 5y ago
    Seems to be a particular American thing, especially in conjunction with online dating and US customary units.
  • prawn 5y ago
    I'm guessing it's in the 18-25 age bracket. People are probably more realistic after 30?
    • flyandscan88 5y ago
      totally. no woman over 32 cares about this anymore
• flashgordon 5y ago
  Definitely wouldn't judge this person for doing this. Baldness had this kind of stigma back in "my day". If you are in an environment where this is constantly being stigmatized and you aren't able to extricate yourself from this environment what else can you do but feel victimized. What is wierd is I am feeling some kind of emotional response to this but am not able to pinpoint or verbalize it. Dang!
• immigrantheart 5y ago
  Just don't go for girls who want tall guys? It is not that hard? People like what they like. You can't force girls to like short men or ugly men or poor men or <insert whatever> here. I'm speaking as 5'3" Asian man living in Western country where the majority are taller than me. Hear me out, in my country there's this dude who's tall, relatively good looking. Married someone who's not only short, but lack of 4 limbs, and not good looking (actually people said she's ugly). They are living happily. There's also a tall white girl who met this dude who's brown skinned, ugly, short, and only work as a poor fisherman. They got married, to the point that the white girl converted into his religion (Islam). Of course, the dude got mocked like crazy. They are living happily. There are many fish in the sea. There are many examples of girls who date/marry shorter/uglier guys and not just for money. There are also things you can work on to compensate your height. Or just don't think about height at all. You do you. Eventually you'll find someone with your charisma. If you are worried about your height that much, even me as a man find it cringy and pathetic.
  • ajwfew 5y ago
    These are outliers, and no, not everyone "finds someone" with their charisma. Life is a brutal game and good on these men for trying to find advantages to allow them to play more fairly.
  • havelhovel 5y ago
    If you’re short you have bigger issues than finding a life partner (as I agree height is not the ultimate reason one can’t find love). Studies have shown height affects career advancement and is more significant than race for earnings. One of these forms of discrimination is illegal, but the other is not.
  • Tao332 5y ago
    > Just don't go for girls who want tall guys? It is not that hard? This is the part where it often broke down during the fuss about "incels" a few years back. When the girls are there, suddenly the guy has a set of harsh standards that she doesn't meet. It's a supermodel at 5'11" in heels or no deal.
• twayt 5y ago
• giardini 5y ago
  If the device pictured is the one really used, I find it hard to believe that the procedure is not quite painful. In particular the insertion of the device shown would appear to displace the bone marrow which contains nerves.
• victor9000 5y ago
  This seems like such an extreme option just to add a few inches to your height. A more sensible approach might be to modify footwear design similar to platform shoes, but in a more subtle fashion. I imagine something like a thick sneaker sole where the shoe material meets the sole halfway down, so it still looks proportional to normal shoes.
• dlevine 5y ago
  I'm a bit over 5'8". I always suspected that online dating was a bit more challenging because of my height. But when I looked at the numbers, I was doing fine at getting dates. The problem was actually that I wasn't confident enough on dates and didn't really know what I wanted, so the dates rarely went anywhere. I did a lot of personal development work over a period of 10+ years. At some point, dating got a lot easier. I went from being single most of the time to usually in a relationship. I got married at 41, which was a bit late, but we all move at our own pace. My little sister is married to a guy who is maybe 5'5" (and I think that's generous). She is 5', and is nearly as tall as him in heels. He's nice and treats her well. She dated a bunch of guys over 6', and likes him the best by far. This is not to say that tall guys don't have an advantage. I'm sure they do. But fortunately there are a lot of things other than height that also make a difference.
  • chillacy 5y ago
    Just throwing out there that waiting 10 years tends to make dating easier for a man regardless of whatever else you do. I remember this in the okCupid data showing that women’s match numbers start highest at 18 and go down over time. Not that working on oneself isn’t good for so many reasons.
  • johnny22 5y ago
    > But when I looked at the numbers, I was doing fine at getting dates. The problem was actually that I wasn't confident enough on dates and didn't really know what I wanted, so the dates rarely went anywhere. The problem most dudes could be having, but don't, because they let BS stop them. Instead we could all be messing up here :)
• throwaway7266 5y ago
  I'm a guy of median height and great fitness, and I had a partner recommend limb lengthening in passing to me once. At the time, I had no idea what it even was but became disgusted as I learned the details. When I asked her why she would ever recommend such a thing, she said it was a joke. However, she had also purchased some pairs of 3 inch elevator shoes for me (also had no idea these were a thing) and insisted I wear them multiple occasions, despite me communicating how offensive the suggestion even was. When she suggested again that she expected me to wear them for the wedding and cared about it enough for it to become a shouting match, I knew for sure that something was VERY wrong. This, along with a dozen other reasons, caused me to call off the engagement. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. EDIT: It may also be relevant that she was also at least 4 inches shorter than me, so there was no risk of me looking shorter than her, even if she had heels on.
  • jackblemming 5y ago
    I think you dodged a bullet, mate. I wonder how she would react if you recommended she get breast implants.
    • Tao332 5y ago
  • Gatsky 5y ago
    A breakup is always tough but consider yourself lucky it became obvious she was the wrong person before the sunk costs got too high. Often this is not the case. Speaking from personal experience relationships cause a kind of brain damage where it is hard to notice both the stop signs and the green lights.
  • dqpb 5y ago
    I find it very strange that a partner would want this. Presumably the desire for a taller mate is fundamentally a desire for taller children. The procedure is obviously not inherited. This must have just been a cruel strategic denigration.
• Wolfenstein98k 5y ago
  This, like boob jobs, makes me so sad. I don't but into the "why does culture make us do this" thing, these forces are primal and cross-cultural. I really just get sad that there are people who are high enough in neuroticism (in the personality psych sense) that they will pay $75k to have their legs broken and hollowed out, to gain 3 inches in height. Easy for me to say as I don't have this particular issue.
• itqwertz 5y ago
  Attraction is automatic, not a choice.
• boppo1 5y ago
  I would accept dating apps having height filters if they would also add weight filters.
  • system2 5y ago
    Both men and women lie about their weights and heights. I am 5'11". My friends call themselves 6' or higher usually (almost without an exception) are significantly shorter than me. Same goes for women's weight, they never ever would accept to enter that information. Filter will show us wrong results anyway. So why not lie about heights?
• BeFlatXIII 5y ago
  I'm waiting for the articles in 20–30 years of women who sue their husbands for concealing their youthful limb-lengthening procedures and then passing on their short genes to their sons. When that happens, I will point and laugh.
  • prawn 5y ago
    Makeup lawsuits as retribution!
• RickJWagner 5y ago
  Well, I bumped into a man who'd been a boxer, (boxer) Asked him what had been his greatest night. He looked into the corners of his mem'ry, (mem'ry) Searching for a picture of the fight. But he said he always had a feeling That he lacked a little extra height. (could have used a little extra height) - Paul McCartney, 'Average Person'
• gregsher88 5y ago
  I’m 5’7” and have had no problems meeting women. There is a lot that goes into this, but I found that the single biggest factor in attracting the opposite sex was appropriating a violent, devil-may-care attitude. When it comes to the primal question of “Will this guy be capable of defending me / my offspring” taller guys are given the benefit of the doubt whereas I literally have something to prove.
  • bhedgeoser 5y ago
    Explains why my 5'1 teacher was so fucking ferocious.
  • q1w2 5y ago
    On the other hand - maybe that wouldn't be necessary if you were taller.
• Tao332 5y ago
  Well that took an unexpected turn. Tired of being degraded, he funds his operation by degrading people via OnlyFans: > a few months on the platform, he zeroed in on a niche: financial domination, a form of humiliation kink where clients pay him to degrade them and take their money Stock character hubris from the surgeon. Very cliche: > “The majority of my patients... have zero complications. The ones that do, it’s either because they didn’t listen to me, or didn’t do the proper therapy.” Right. Because the only thing that can go wrong when inserting an expanding rod into bone is a lack of accountability by the patient... ~ Something sick is going on. I was just reading about the absurd mortality statistics from Brazilian Butt Lift surgery, the popularity of which must surely be driven by what kind of flesh influencers can get away with showing on social media. Rightfully or not, people are so deeply dissatisfied that they are literally being butchered out there.
• ge96 5y ago
  This is funny because your offspring won't look the same.
• maivais0eil 5y ago
  Story… When I was attending Highland Park High School in Illinois around the early 2000s I knew a kid who used to drive different 100,000+ dollar sports cars to school every day. He got straight As, was popular, captain of the tennis team or whatever, handsome, etc. But I believe he wasn’t content being shorter than others because when he went to college, he decided to have surgery to make him taller. He was living in some multi million dollar house his parents bought for him to attend school and they hired the best doctors out there to do the procedure. Anyway, he had it and it failed, and now he is paralyzed.
  • morelisp 5y ago
    How's his sex life though?
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• brandonmenc 5y ago
  > By the time he’s done lengthening, a weekslong process after the surgery, he will be 5'10" All that, and he's still under 6 feet.
• at_a_remove 5y ago
  I have mentioned this before, but I used to work at a dating service pre-Web popularity. People could state their preferences and also how important that preference is. I handled almost all aspects of the business, including the data entry of preferences. And I found out that women as a trend really really care about height. They cared about it when they wrote it down and the ones who said they didn't care? Ended up accepting dates from or asking out the taller guys. It was a painful eye-opener for me. Several years ago, there was a guy on Twitter, "heightism" or something, who just re-tweeted crappy things women tweeted about "short guys," much of it in a vein like "ugh, why do they even exist?" I think he got banned but probably resurfaced. It doesn't matter what people profess under duress, but with whom they go home.
  • q1w2 5y ago
    Any man with experience interacting with women has seen evidence of this time and time again. I really don't understand people who deny that women have a very strong bias for height. I also don't understand people who object to this surgery. There is nothing wrong with women who have an innate attraction for tall men, and there is nothing wrong with men who want to be attractive to those women. That is just the reality of the world. Don't hate the players - hate the game.
• dynjo 5y ago
  I bet there is a direct correlation to Instagram usage here, particularly filters that allow you to lengthen your legs in this particular case. Instagram is a ticking time bomb of mental health problems related to self image issues, particularly in younger women.
• epvgwwqe 5y ago
  This is a bad case of body dysmorphia. The amount of variance in mating success attributed to a 3 inch difference in height is far less than improvements in personality/fitness/success can account for. Not condoning by any means women crapping on short guys, but empirically women readily change their stated height preferences in the face of other outlying factors. In contrast, it's much harder for women to change their level of desirability.
  • someguydave 5y ago
    "empirically" can you show the study that says this? You are saying it's easier for short men to grow several inches than for a woman to change her desirability?
• kingkawn 5y ago
  Complaining about not getting enough dates is the number one reason you’re not getting enough dates
• leonry 5y ago
  I never thought that this would happen, but here I am referring to a post on Wall Street Oasis: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/height-league-table-the-ultimate-scorecard-in-life-dating-lets-end-this https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/height-leagu...
• hankman86 5y ago
  You have to wonder when average-sized men start to have this procedure done to further bolster their sexual competitiveness.
• littlecranky67 5y ago
  Is women's preference of tall men a US thing? I hear this very often from mostly US based media, but I think in Europe this is a less common preference - also there are some countries (especially southern european) where you would have very few men above 6'0.
• bryanrasmussen 5y ago
  actually I might have been interested in limb shortening surgery when I was younger, although I doubt it would actually be that useful, because at that age the only sport I was actually interested in was gymnastics for which the optimal height is significantly less than mine https://dergipark.org.tr/tr/download/article-file/505214 https://dergipark.org.tr/tr/download/article-file/505214
• angarg12 5y ago
  This person's experience is quite sad, but I suspect he has deeper issues that won't be fixed by surgery. I know firsthand. After college I was a prototypical nerd. Overweight, had acne, wore glasses, had a frizzy hair. And I was very unhappy. One day I had a breakthrough and I decided to turn my life around. I booked a laser eye surgery, started an acne treatment, signed up for the gym, and cut my hair very short. A few weeks later I didn't wear glasses anymore, after a few months I got rid of acne, and after a year I got significantly fitter. And I was still unhappy. The reason is that I was still myself. I still had crippling anxiety. I still was socially inept. I still wasn't achieving what I wanted in life. Don't get me wrong, it those changes weren't bad. The health benefits alone of exercising make it worthwhile. But it wasn't enough, not even necessary for happiness. Some people need to go through this journey themselves, but just be aware that what you are looking for might lie elsewhere.
• brundolf 5y ago
  > “There’ll be days where I’ll see a meme that bothers me,” Scott said. “Then I’ll remember I had the surgery done.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “It allows me to not spiral out of control and lose hours of my day anymore.” What a dystopia we've built for ourselves.
• hemreldop 5y ago
• bbbobbb 5y ago
  I am not the most social person and maybe this is a somewhat of a 'bliss of not knowing' due to being ~6'2", but is this obsession with height common in Europe? I don't recall any of my friends mentioning height as a criteria. I guess I see women dating taller men almost exclusively, but in a sense that the man is the same height or taller, not over 185cm or whatever. I can't even recollect how tall are like 80% (as in, taller, same or shorter than me) people I know unless I know them very well. It never crosses my mind.
• jl6 5y ago
  I’m not here to deny that short men face challenges, the same way that anyone with any characteristic deemed negative by the prevailing dating culture faces challenges (plenty of examples to choose from - age, weight, ethnicity, wealth, disability, education, class, caste, language). I am here, though, to throw cold water on the ridiculous borderline-incel hot takes from men here who have drawn a blank on dating sites and thereby divined the true nature of women. As if women are a monolithic bloc conspiring against your genes. As if women are spherical horses acting out the simple laws of your evolutionary psychology. As if women don’t face their own challenges in finding meaningful relationships. As if “women” just means “attractive white 18-25 year old heterosexuals” and you don’t see the double standard. I didn’t read all the comments but didn’t spot a single one from anyone female. My advice to y’all is to get out of the sausage factory and start meeting some people in real life. It’s not women making you forever alone, it’s your monocausal mindset.
  • PaywallBuster 5y ago
    > My advice to y’all is to get out of the sausage factory Certain cities/countries can be day and night! Imagine SF is one of the worst places to be for single men
    • seanp2k2 5y ago
      San Jose is worse. They call it “Man Jose”. Plenty of profiles on dating sites won’t even consider someone outside of SF / Oakland since it’s so much trouble if the city person doesn’t have a car.
      • the_only_law 5y ago
        I’ve talked to plenty of women why I get out where I am. They just tend to have 5 to 40 years me.
    • koshergweilo 5y ago
      Single straight men
  • 5y ago
• SergeAx 5y ago
  Women do not prefer tall men, they prefer men taller than themselves. This is called hypergamy, and is not limited to height. There are two strategies of hypergamy play. First, male player may accent his other strong characteristics, like wealth, or physical strength, or education, or sports (not necessarily athletic) or other things society regards as prestigious. The second strategy is to find and form a relationship with roles inverted. Meaning prioritize women who are wealthier, older, more dominant, better educated and so on. Those women are experiencing much more problems with traditional hypergamous relationship, because their selection of hypergamous partners is vanishingly small, so they may consider relationship with reversed roles.
• 5350-uiop-1130 5y ago
  I'm 5'8.5 and I have to get all my clothes tailored, yet every mens shop is happy to have a "big (overweight) and tall" section. Go to any mens fashion site, check a small or medium size t-shirt, the model will be 6'1 to 6'2.
• helge9210 5y ago
  It looks like the technology became less invasive and less painful. When I saw the title I expected to see Ilizarov apparatus (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilizarov_apparatus https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilizarov_apparatus).
• DavidVoid 5y ago
  Like nose jobs this feels like the wrong solution to what really should be an almost non-existent problem. If you're very short or have mismatched leg lengths this sounds great (just like how nose jobs are great for people who have abnormally shaped noses), but I really hope people don't end up feeling pressured into it like they do into nose and boob jobs. That said, I think it's something people should be allowed to do (as long as it's safe enough), but we should be very careful with letting this be pushed on younger and more impressionable people.
• flyandscan88 5y ago
  All of this changes with age I find it hard to believe women over 35 having hard 6' and over filters. So best advice I would say to short guys is move to an east coast city and wait a few years.
• phkahler 5y ago
  >> he zeroed in on a niche: financial domination, a form of humiliation kink where clients pay him to degrade them and take their money. OMG that's a thing? Can anyone shed light on the psychology of this?
• cjbgkagh 5y ago
  It’s a self reinforcing problem, women have to discriminate against short men if they want to have tall children to avoid discrimination against short men. If it wasn’t height it would be something else just as capricious. If genetic engineering got to a point where we could pick the height of the kids after a while it would no longer be a rare coveted feature. The drawbacks of height would become more apparent and maybe there would be a reversal of trend. My back hurts and all the sports I can’t do anymore are best suited to men of 5’9” so that to me would probably be the ideal height for health and fitness.
• thoweiruo234 5y ago
  world is turning into a south park episode.
• ben7799 5y ago
  I'm 6'1" but I can kind of get this, however it's just one factor out of many that are like this and are made worse by the whole toxic online dating scene in general. I'm 44 and have been married for 12 years so this is beyond me but my 20s were really rough. Men are just as bad but certainly my early 20s were dominated by getting rejected for having a nerdy job (SWE) or not being muscular enough/looking by a football player, whatever. When you're in your 20s and trying to date everyone is just superficial as anything. The fitness stuff was always funny cause I was more fit than 90% of people out on the dating market just I was an endurance type not a bodybuilder/muscle head/football player type which is obviously what is/was desirable for a lot of women. That gets even weirder as you get older as it's much easier as an endurance type to stay fit & healthy as you age. Things have changed and maybe it's not as biased against tech jobs these days. However in the early 2000s it was literally my experience women would instantly say "I'm out" if they heard I had a tech job, except for the odd case where they were clearly gold diggers and had already figured out this field was lucrative. In the end you just have to get through it.. by the time you start approaching 30 and everyone starts to grow up a lot of this stuff goes away. If you let stuff bother you there will always be something about yourself you can fixate on. It does sound like the last 10 years of online dating only got worse though, and amplified everything superficial.
  • the_only_law 5y ago
    > I'm 6'1" Hah we’re in the threshold where people occasionally question that number.
• ___del___ 5y ago
  There are lots of comments here, so I hope this get some visibility. I feel like there is a lot of "the grass is always greener on the other side" fallacy happening here (at least in dating). I'm 199cm (just over 6'6") if that adds any weight to my experiences. I dont mean this to be a humble brag, I sympathize with anyone under stress over these issues. Interims of dating: Being taller definitely had some advantage in terms of standing out, but from the wrong people. In university I feel like I was more of a novelty to most of the people I tried to have a relationship with, there was sometimes a lot of focus on height or size. Whenever this was apparent in someone, the value of the relationship plummets and we fall out. This made me extremely picky on who I hung out with and on top of being relatively socially awkward (I was homeschooled), this contributed to a major sense of loneliness. I only met my wife partly because she is also on the taller side (our friend set us up), and I prefer our proportionally to the average male/female ratio. In terms of carrear: I'm early on (~4 years) in my carrear and I feel like my opinions get more recognition with less effort than others in similar positions. This is totally anecdotal however and there could by many other factors I am not aware of. One thing that did stand out tho, a I was in a small meeting with senior employees and one confronted me and said "you're much younger than you appear to be aren't you" in referring to my height. Again anecdotally, what the article states interims of business, numerous people I have met in higher power positions are generally not on the shorter side.
  • the_only_law 5y ago
    > In university I feel like I was more of a novelty to most of the people I tried to have a relationship wit This is how I feel in most social relations nowadays, except it’s not my height that’s the eccentricity. It does get old feeling like no more than a side show.
• datavirtue 5y ago
  "One guy has sent me like $400 in a day just for messaging him. I never even had to send him a picture or a video or anything!" Elon, is that you?
• Auracle 5y ago
  I have a bit of a unique perspective. I lost two inches of height in high school, going from 6’ tall to 5’ 10”. I also lost two shoe sizes. Doctors didn’t take it seriously even though their own measurements showed it. It might be related to a brain injury that probably caused my low testosterone, as I’ve heard trans women can also lose height. I’m not willing to go through that surgery to get it back, but if I were still single I’d be tempted. I miss it. To put it plainly, I felt more on top of the world - more confident.
• el_jay 5y ago
  Appreciate the honest description of Scott’s brutal experience with heightism - which at my 5’10” is still palpably present, so I cannot imagine what he dealt with beyond what was shared here - but the whole tone of the article is so relentlessly promotional, it comes off like the most manipulative content marketing. I feel like it wants to prime me for the experience of having the surgery by walking me through it in acute detail. “Gosh, it’s tough being born outside the cultural norm. Why do all that coping when you could just pay this social media personality to make it all better? So get off those too-close-to-the-ground tooshes and work it, sweet cheeks! Some of us need to capitalise on your insecurities and people’s worst innate tendencies for a living.” Not one remark to the effect that, “Hey, heightism is in the same class as racism, sexism, ableism and other unfashionable isms - so all the good folks who can’t afford the surgery, can enjoy the dignity of some cultural assurance that you are the victims of atavistic shitfuckery from people with this objectively bad belief.” Indeed, why do the work of being a better person by giving folks shorter than ourselves the same dignity we’d demand of someone much taller… there’s a metaphor for some other contemporary macro issues… and, more generally, leaving behind this infantile judgment of others by heredity. In a for-profit healthcare context with extreme built-in distributional inequities, I cannot see this usage as equivalent to evening up mismatched limb lengths. Dating preference is one thing - our sexual attraction parameters are mostly out of hands - but to discredit an experienced adult human and treat them as a child on the basis of their height or weight or muscularity or whatever, then, god forbid, using that to score points on that person (e.g. by mocking them at work) is egregious and should earn you social, if not legal, censure. It’s wrong to mock a woman for her figure, including her height, and the converse is true of a man. And it’s wrong to paywall cultural acceptability behind expensive surgeries - further interlinking height with the perceptions of health and wealth in the culture - rather than doing the collective emotional work of sincere introspection to change habitual heightism.
• xyzzy21 5y ago
  A natural result of women's demand for 6-6-6