32 ms·

Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?

• polski-g 8y ago
  Life is short, so is the life of people you care about. Don't take it for granted. People lie. Typed languages are better.
• soontobemd55 8y ago
  There is a real need for technologic improvements in medicine.
  • lightwin 8y ago
    Can you elaborate a bit please?
• sbarker 8y ago
  There's plenty of cake, if you're hungry get a slice. Oxycodone makes me throw up violently. I like helping people more than I thought.
• USANEEDSHELP 8y ago
  When have been diagnosed with cancer, you hope for a little more time with your loved ones.
• scott911rs 8y ago
  There are some people with more stories than time to tell them
• grassclone 8y ago
  Life is dangerous. We are not defined by our intentions (no matter how noble) but rather our actions.
• oceanghost 8y ago
  Love isn't as strong as mental illness, and that no amount of hope and heart can solve problems for someone who won't admit they have them.
  • isomorph 8y ago
    I learned that too in the last 12 months.
    • oceanghost 8y ago
      I'm sorry to hear that brother or sister :)
  • obelix_ 8y ago
    In my experience getting ppl to admit their issues isn't the way to go. Showing them a path exists to overcome the issues, without a requirement for them to admit anything is. Understanding that is love. And that's hard work. "Work is love made visible"
    • oceanghost 8y ago
      Tried this for 7 years. Thank you though.
• deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
• __john 8y ago
  ClearCase is a terrible version control system.
  • nayuki 8y ago
    Relevant reading: https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1074580/clearcase-advantages-disadvantages https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1074580/clearcase-advant...
  • tom_wilde 8y ago
    You haven't met Serena yet then...
  • theandrewbailey 8y ago
    I learned that 10 years ago, about 2 months out of college. Some things never change.
• RickJWagner 8y ago
  Hollywood has no foundation for offering opinions about morals, family, love or anything else.
  • deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
  • deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
• prawn 8y ago
  Embrace the process! I'm really bad at finishing things. I have a lot of side projects on the go when perhaps I should focus on just one venture. But I've learned to just embrace trying to do everything at once (even if far from perfectly), and enjoying it rather than beating myself up about failing to consolidate. Might limit potential, but I like it more this way. (I've run my main business for 20 years. I co-run a co-working space. I have a SaaS project, sports forum, involvement in some apps, a vanlife showcase, an aerial photography side business, etc. About to add something else. List of the main things here: http://www.isaacforman.com.au/ http://www.isaacforman.com.au/)
• eldavido 8y ago
  How important it is to be proactive about career management - don't always take the easy path, even if it pays well. Doctors are exorbitantly overpaid relative to the value they provide. How little money matters once you have a few hundred K.
  • Lordarminius 8y ago
    Doctors are exorbitantly overpaid relative to the value they provide Really ?
    • sus_007 8y ago
      Read this with a grain of salt : https://www.politico.com/agenda/story/2017/10/25/doctors-salaries-pay-disparities-000557 https://www.politico.com/agenda/story/2017/10/25/doctors-sal...
• dbasedweeb 8y ago
  Most people believe whatever they want to believe, and it’s a massive waste of the limited time that is life to try and change their minds. Peanut butter is best in savory applications.
  • eldavido 8y ago
    This is a really important lesson to internalize (the first one). In order to change peoples' minds, they have to want to see that they're wrong. I think certain personality types are innately more disposed to the sort of introspection necessary to evaluate one's beliefs and throw out what's wrong. Really it comes down to how much you care about truth. Coming from the hard sciences, it's surprising how far you can get in this world without caring even a tiny little bit about truth in many fields, most of which involve "people" and not "things": politics, sales, marketing.
    • dbasedweeb 8y ago
      This is a really important lesson to internalize (the first one). The second is too! I’m telling you, peanut butter is an amazing savory ingredient! You don’t have to go full Hemingway (peanut butter and onion sandwiches), but at least satay is the way. Peanut butter is especially good when it’s spicy. Plus yes, the other stuff, but I just can’t say enough about peanut butter.
      • eldavido 8y ago
        It's ironic, I actually like peanut butter a lot too and just tried making a smoothie with it yesterday, it worked very well.
      • sevagh 8y ago
        There's a type of Haitian spicy peanut butter, sold under the brand Manba in Montreal. I loved that stuff. https://manba.ca/T31jCjVS/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Box-of-6-800px.jpg https://manba.ca/T31jCjVS/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Box-of-...
      • toomanybeersies 8y ago
• iamwil 8y ago
  It's really important to put feedback loops in place in your life to change it in the direction you want it to go.
  • thetrumanshow 8y ago
    I want to know more...
    • __s 8y ago
      I've been considering this. In the past I've been on the side of figuring if you can control your mind then you can control your predicament. But I'm now at a point where I'm not having such fine control over my mood. So instead I need to force myself to behave in ways which may improve my environment, which will improve my mood, which will reinforce the behavior Of course the truth of depression is that it never goes away. But this is something to try to get through a few months
    • antoineMoPa 8y ago
      Not sure if thats the kind of thing that OP meant, but I have a sheet of paper where I note all the sport I do, which motivates me to do more since I started it ~3 years ago.
      • lsiunsuex 8y ago
        I'm taking it as OP saying as ideas are a dime a dozen, so are people's opinions. Put them in place (meaning, get some from people, or cut them out of your life, if their bad) so you can get feedback. This is double edged. I left my wife about 3 months ago now - I was really, really, not happy and I finally had enough after 8 years. Everyone had an opinion. People I thought were very good friends turned on me, gave me shit for leaving (friends of mine; not friends of ours) and others were very supportive (mostly family). Sometimes to many opinions are a bad thing; but to few can be bad also though. Take the opinions you can get; run a filter or 2 on them and go with your heart. (I don't talk to the people that gave me shit for doing it anymore; and I'm much more happier now, both without the wife in my life, and without those friends in my life)
• derwiki 8y ago
  Happiness is a choice. I'm not saying bad things happening are a choice, often you're not in control of that; but you are always in control of how you respond.
  • gunnyguy121 8y ago
    "The problem isn't the problem, the problem is your attitude to the problem"- jack sparrow
• jensvdh 8y ago
  Chronic diseases suck, and you can definitely get them in your 20's.
  • deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
• momentmaker 8y ago
  There is a life force (energy) that's powering every living thing on this planet.
  • omarchowdhury 8y ago
    Is it one or many? Or both one and many?
  • vinchuco 8y ago
    Is it sunlight, perchance?
    • yakshaving_jgt 8y ago
      That would exclude fungi at least.
  • sus_007 8y ago
    it's probably related to Blockchain ?
• icantdrive55 8y ago
  The unemployment numbers don't mean much. This economy is hanging on by by a few sectors that are barely successful. The 1% won. And when I watch Norma Rae--I realize that movie couldn't be made today. The cotton owners just moved the machines to another county--eliminating unions, and workers. Oh yea, opiate addiction is not due to befuddled doctors, and corporations. It's due to a country wide depression. People are misserable on so many levels, while spirituality is kinda dead.
• thom 8y ago
  99% of anything is something else.
• lightwin 8y ago
  We undervalue ourselves most of the time. We overestimate our fears most of the time. An idea is nothing. Execution is everything.
  • darkmighty 8y ago
    The extent to which we usually overestimate danger (i.e. are fearful) in non-physical situations can hardly be overstated. We often behave as if some social triviality or temporary financial issue were actually life threatening, when indeed near-worst case scenarios are almost inconsequential. That person will judge you for a week or so then forget about it; if you fail financially you can rely on family, friends, savings, social security to not go homeless. The probabilities of bodily harm or true social outcasting are often very remote (and even outcast is often a but choice, since there are always other accepting people elsewhere). Compare that with how much we fear climbing a simple step ladder -- we wouldn't give it much thought at all. But the probability of falling and having major bodily harm or even head trauma is perhaps much greater than the probability of poor outcomes from frightening daily situations. No that you shouldn't fear climbing ladders, just to give a perspective of how incongruent our intuitive fear can be to reality unless we police and adjust ourselves.
    • scandinavegan 8y ago
      I heard somewhere, probably in a children's movie, something that I've talked to my kids about: Being brave is not feeling no fear, but to act even when you're afraid. Some fears are rational, but as you say, a lot of fears are totally out of proportion. It's important to not exaggerate any negative consequences that might arise from a situation. Another neat thing I heard in a podcast on writing was that the author fought her fear of talking in front of an audience with the fear of missing out. She knew that if she declined the invitation to speak at a convention, she would later regret missing out on the experience. So she used the latter fear to fight the former. It's important to not attempt to remove all fear from your life, as that's bound to fail anyway and make you more anxious, but to learn to live with fear on a low enough level so that you still keep acting.
• meiraleal 8y ago
  Life can be great and very fun and we always have time to get fit.
• scottlegrand2 8y ago
  While money isn't everything, it does seem to change everything...
  • gunnyguy121 8y ago
    Having money isn't everything. Not having it is
• rroriz 8y ago
  I didn't know happiness until I had a daughter. I thought I had a pretty happy life until she was born. After that, i learned to value my lonely hours :)
  • nrjames 8y ago
    As the father of two girls, I relate to all of this. I'm sure you've heard this 1000 times, but they grow up fast, so enjoy they time you get with your daughter.
    • isolli 8y ago
      A random stranger once shared this piece of wisdom with me: "the days are long but the years are short". Sometimes at the end of a long day I try to remember this :)
  • koliber 8y ago
    I can recall an emotion from childhood. It's an uncontrollable burst of happiness, positive energy, anticipation, and gittiness, all rolled into one. It's that feeling you got when a friend called you up and told you they just got that one toy that you guys have been fawning over for months. You ask your mom if you can go, and she says yes. You quickly get dressed and try to walk quickly to your friend's house. You find yourself running unconsciously. You're bursting with anticipation and joy. Your mind is doing laps and your body can't keep up. I haven't had that feeling in a long long time. Then, my kids were born. As they grow up, I see them experiencing the types of joy and happiness as I have described above. I see them laugh uncontrollably. I see them explode with joy over the smallest of positive surprises. I see how they discover the world and experience new pleasant experiences. I see their emotions when they unbox a birthday gift. I literally feel a portion of it. It's incredible! That feeling is back.
  • AnimalMuppet 8y ago
    The lonely hours are valuable, and after you have kids, rare. But, speaking as one who is closer to the end of the process than the beginning, my biggest regret is that so often I didn't take the time or make the effort to give them love and attention when I could have.
• clintonb 8y ago
  Heroes can be disappointing.
• throwaway713 8y ago
  Before we got married, my wife said she would move with me to California if I ever got a good offer from a major tech company. This year I got an amazing job offer, and my wife threw a giant fit, told me she's not coming, and said "I took a gamble and lost. I never thought you would actually get an offer". Now she's refusing to get a job, wants me to continue paying for our house that she's living in on the east coast (in addition to rent for my apartment in the Bay Area), wants me to pay for 20 flights per year across the country so she can visit friends and family, and has called me every mean name in the book. So my career is going great but my marriage is falling apart.
  • qntty 8y ago
    Wow I'm sorry, but congrats on the job offer.
  • goatherders 8y ago
    It's over. You can either admit it now or wait. But from experience I'm telling you it's over. This is your one life. One trip around the stars.
    • NamTaf 8y ago
      I agree entirely. That sounds like an absolutely unhealthy relationship if she couldn't be honest with you in the first place regarding where she stood on relocation if you got a job. She basically called your bluff and lied to you, betting (wrongly) that she'd not have to pay it out.
      • goatherders 8y ago
        When my first company went down the crapper my now ex-wife said "you had your chance. We are never doing that again. You will get a job like the rest of the world." But before we were married she and I talked often about entrepreneurship and building things and how my path was different. Our marriage was over at that point, but it wouldnt end for several more years. Wasted time.
    • 8y ago
• amb23 8y ago
  The most pernicious, nastiest habit to get into is to think that you are stuck in your situation and there is no alternative. True for individuals and whole societies.
• toomanybeersies 8y ago
  Geez, I could write a book about what the past 12 months taught me. But here's the main points: * Learn when you have to move on, sometimes some things are out of your control and there's nothing you can do about it. * We all have our own story, don't judge people for their vices and flaws unless you know their story (there are exceptions to this rule) * Sometimes you just have to take the jump, quit your job, move overseas, and survive on your credit card until you find a new job. Otherwise in a years time, you'll be in the same shitty place you are now. * Seasonal Affective Disorder is a right bitch, and alcohol is not a cure. * Corollary from the above: You may not feel it sometimes, but people do care for you, despite your head telling you the opposite.
  • qntty 8y ago
    Can you expand on the third point?
    • toomanybeersies 8y ago
      It's a bit tongue in cheek, I don't really recommend that everybody moves overseas. But for me, I was in a city that I didn't really like, and a job that I didn't really like. I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't saving any money. Basically, my life was on hold. I had worked at my job for a year, and had saved a total of zero dollars, my boss was never going to give me a pay rise, and I was feeling like shit at work. I realised that if I stayed where I was, in a years time, I was going to be in exactly the same situation and there weren't a lot of other jobs in my city that would've put me in a better situation. So I decided that I'd quit my job and move to Australia, which for New Zealand citizens is as simple as getting on a plane and flying over (essentially it's visa free). I didn't have much in the way of savings, but I figured I had 3 months of runway if I used my credit card. I found a job within a month, and everything else has fallen in place quite nicely. The main takeaway is that sometimes you need to be able to realise when you're in a situation that you can change, and then do what you need to do to enact that change, even if that means moving way outside your comfort zone.
      • grassclone 8y ago
• jageen 8y ago
  I fail two interviews one is from Google and one is from Facebook. now I am rethinking about my ability towards coding and algorithms.
  • goatherders 8y ago
    No no no. It means you aren't built for a contrived interview process. Has nothing to do with your skill and talent and work as a coder.
    • deleted 8y ago
      [deleted]
  • johnnybGawd 8y ago
    I got rejected by Google even though I thought my coding interview went well. I bombed the interview with Amazon and somehow they gave me an offer as an SDE1 even though I wasn't a fresh grad and had 3 years experience. My director refers to me as a rock star. My total comp this year is just north of $240K. I was promoted about 13 months in. I'm told repeatedly I'm one of the top engineers in my org and admired and reputable for my ownership, bias for delivery, and quality of work. The interviews you passed or failed mean absolutely nothing. Any company who rejects you can fuck right off. Take it from me.
    • harperlee 8y ago
      As a manager, I recommend everyone to internalise this idea from the parent post: sometimes the quickest career, and being promoted earlier, might not the best path long term. The "first impression" that the parent created is a powerful image that can burn in the brain of the surrounding people and follow him throughout his career, in exchange for perhaps 1 year lag in "official" experience and remuneration during 1 or 2 years early in his career. On the other hand, being promoted too early and fucking up can unfortunately have an analogous effect, and throw a career overboard. This is not fair, but people's brain work like that.
    • drew72 8y ago
• ronald_raygun 8y ago
  * I find mentoring to be one of the most rewarding things I can do * People wait too long to quit a job or get out a bad situation * Being very deliberate about what you do and who you spend your time with is worth it * Sleeping masks really improve you quality of sleep
• abvdasker 8y ago
  It's important to vote.
  • yumraj 8y ago
    Yes, but unfortunately because of the electoral college some folks' vote matters more than others'.
    • ottootto 8y ago
      The National Popular Vote bill is 64% of the way to guaranteeing the majority of Electoral College votes and the presidency to the candidate who receives the most popular votes in the country, by changing state winner-take-all laws (not mentioned in the U.S. Constitution, but later enacted by 48 states), without changing anything in the Constitution, using the built-in method that the Constitution provides for states to make changes. It simply requires enacting states to award their electoral votes to the winner of the most national popular votes. All voters would be valued equally in presidential elections, no matter where they live. Candidates, as in other elections, would allocate their time, money, polling, organizing, and ad buys roughly in proportion to the population Every vote, everywhere, for every candidate, would be politically relevant and equal in every presidential election. No more distorting, crude, and divisive and red and blue state maps of predictable outcomes, that don’t represent any minority party voters within each state. No more handful of 'battleground' states (where the two major political parties happen to have similar levels of support) where voters and policies are more important than those of the voters in 38+ predictable winner states that have just been 'spectators' and ignored after the conventions. We can limit the power and influence of a few battleground states in order to better serve our nation. The bill would take effect when enacted by states with a majority of the electoral votes—270 of 538. All of the presidential electors from the enacting states will be supporters of the presidential candidate receiving the most popular votes among all 50 states (and DC)—thereby guaranteeing that candidate with an Electoral College majority. The bill was approved in 2016 by a unanimous bipartisan House committee vote in both Georgia (16 electoral votes) and Missouri (10). Since 2006, the bill has passed 36 state legislative chambers in 23 rural, small, medium, large, red, blue, and purple states with 261 electoral votes. The bill has been enacted by 12 small, medium, and large jurisdictions with 172 electoral votes – 64% of the way to guaranteeing the presidency to the candidate with the most popular votes in the country NationalPopularVote
• goatherders 8y ago
  Being nice to people is easier than being rude. And life opens more doors than you can imagine when you are kind to people.
• deathanatos 8y ago
  * It doesn't matter what you set your desired location to in LinkedIn. Recruiters are going to look at what you've done in the past, and assume you want more of that.
  • dzek69 8y ago
    Not true. I've written I'd like to learn Python someday, and I got an offer to bacame team leader of Python dev team.
    • deathanatos 8y ago
      YMMV. The question was what has the past 12 months taught you, and that's what I've learned. I continue to get stuff that doesn't even match the basic preferences LinkedIn knows about, let alone the free-standing text in the profile. (I've never had anyone reach out indicate that they've read that, and have something related.) Python appears to be somewhat popular, so what you say isn't terribly surprising. I'm trying to break a very common mold.
• excalibur 8y ago
  "Give me liberty, or give me death" is admirable as a philosophy for precisely as long as your own life is the only one being wagered.
  • LyndsySimon 8y ago
    > Benjamin (father): When you have a family of your own, perhaps you'll understand. > Gabriel (son): When I have a family of my own, I won't hide behind them ^ The Patriot
    • excalibur 8y ago
      King George didn't have the ability to wipe out the human race in the event of an impeachment, or any other event that might damage his fragile ego beyond repair.
  • sidcool 8y ago
    Very true, most people from western nations have this attitude: "Oh you live in a dictatorship? It's because of you. You should fight, die for your country. It's your fault" They don't realize that survival instinct is a strong deterrent.
• superasn 8y ago
  It's far more important to do something and finish it than to do it right or perfectly.
• Mandatum 8y ago
  Go with my gut more often, stop taking other people's advice against my gut feeling. I'm in a pretty good position based on my own merits. But I moved in with a friend at the advice that I'm too young to be living alone. I'm starting to miss it. I would have earned a lot more and be much further in my career, potentially already employing people, if I hadn't listened to my peers and mentors when it comes to career advice. I should have looked at their position, given their age and compared it with my own. Technically they're amazing, career and money-wise, they should be much, much further ahead than I. Save more. Get better with finance administration. Set hard goals and break them. Just because you earn almost 10-fold your first job, doesn't mean you should be spending more than you were before. Money drives business drives ideas drives change.
• nabn 8y ago
  That the solution to anxiety and panic attacks isn't "Deal with it! You're making others uncomfortable."
  • tech6 8y ago
    Any thoughts on what is effective to handle anxiety
    • cvaidya1986 8y ago
      Three meals daily, with a banana replacing breakfast No air conditioning 100 push-ups daily 100 sit-ups daily 100 squats daily Run six miles daily 1 hour Meditation Talk to 1 new person daily
      • Lordarminius 8y ago
        What's wrong with air-conditioning ? I'd absolutely refuse to work if I don't have my AC. It's my guilty pleasure.
• gunnyguy121 8y ago
  Some math, some coding, some physics, and way more about Abraham Lincoln than I'll ever need to know(I'm still a student). Moving on isn't as easy as it seems.
• serpix 8y ago
  Enough sleep comes before everything and everyone. Optional typing (like clojure. spec, plumatic schema) beats static typing.
• sidcool 8y ago
  That pure technical prowess won't help you reach the next level. It's very important to know the right people, and even butter them. I always believed your works speaks for itself, but no, self-promotion is an important skill.
• dagw 8y ago
  I spend way too much time doing pointless things on my phone (like this) and it's really hard to stop.
  • jmts 8y ago
    Decide on some things you would rather do with your time than waste it on pointless things like this. Allow yourself to do the pointless things only once you've done something less pointless with your time. Keep trying.
• beat 8y ago
  Read a lot. I had largely fallen out of the habit of reading, in part due to attempting to switch to Kindle by using it on my iPad/iPhone. But the temptations of the Internet are right there all the damn time. Last year, I went back to reading paper books, and it was a revelation. Suddenly, I could immerse myself again! And after a while of this, my spouse gave me her unused Kindle Paperwhite - all the advantages of ebooks, only without Internet access on the device. Easy to read in bed at night without keeping her up with a light, too. I'd almost forgotten the pleasures of chewing through big, intense works of nonfiction, the richness and depth of book-level arguments of history, science, biography, and more.
• koosnel 8y ago
  Spending extra on a good mechanical keyboard is worth it.
• vishalsharma 8y ago
  > Changed the job , stuck into since 5 Years. Learning => Make your decisions faster , dont overthink. > Became a father of a daughter. Learning => Be happy and spend little more time with family , value time and spending time effectively. > Bought a home with so much of efforts. Money is hard to earn, dont waste it for anything, and important if you are losing money , dont regret for it.
• xaedes 8y ago
  1) You can't do everything. Even when you COULD do each single thing there is only so much time. Saying "no" is important to get things done. 2) The world is absolutely unfinished. Really I sometimes wonder why everything not just breaks down with all the issues and broken solutions. 3) Teaching people is wonderful and fulfilling 4) Sales people and development people are .. different
• koliber 8y ago
  You can put more effort in and potentially make more money. You can not make more time, no matter how hard you try. You can pay someone to do something to free up a portion of your time, which you can then use as you see fit. You need to prioritize how you spend your time. This is not a one-time exercise. It's an ongoing process. You look at the things that you do in a given day, week, month, and year. You see how they benefit you, your family, friends, community, and society. You weigh that against your goals and happiness. You make little adjustments to how you spend your time. Concreted example: I like gardening. Not any gardening, but growing heirloom tomatoes in particular. They are a finicky bunch and are often not the easy-to-grow varieties. This is OK. I fail a lot. I need to dedicate more time to this in order to succeed. People tell me to not try growing from seeds, but get some seedlings and start from there. That would not satisfy me. Unfortunately, I have other things that I value greatly so I decided that after this season, I will put growing tomatoes on hold. I'll get back to it once some of my current priorities pass and I have more time. Over time, your life will begin to look more and more in tune with your goals and expectations, and you will be a happier person. Fill in your own details and don't try to copy off of others. Everyone is different. And don't try to grow heirloom tomatoes with kids, a full time job, a side business, and an active social life--the day is too short for all of that.
  • xchaotic 8y ago
    Don't give up on tomatoes! You say that they do need maintenance, but you plant them, water them, give them sun - I bet you can automate a lot these steps - watering and nutrition, for example. You can give them extra boost with some artificial light and heat. You can do it!
    • theyinwhy 8y ago
      I am not sure the goal was to swap gardening with engineering gardening automation ;)
      • gargravarr 8y ago
        For every problem, there is an engineering solution. The inverse is not necessarily true :)
• minikomi 8y ago
  Yoyos and bicycles are a great ways to spend your free time.
• jwally 8y ago
  Outsourcing a problem because you don't understand it or want to work on it will make the problem worse and you poorer.
• deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
• aloukissas 8y ago
  Ideas are cheap, execution is everything. Product-market fit is hard. Keeping razor focus is harder. Excercise, good sleep, and healthy food pay big dividends. Don't bother disagreeing with people on social media. Finally: I can build way more things than I thought I could 12 months ago.
  • smitherson666 8y ago
    Train yourself to see and accept the truth.
  • LawnDart1 8y ago
    "Don't bother disagreeing with people on social media." You should put that on a tee-shirt, or maybe a billboard.
    • Double_a_92 8y ago
      Why not? Some of their arguments might change your view for the better, and vice versa.
      • timrichard 8y ago
        You're disagreeing with their agreement that you shouldn't disagree with people on Social Media. I'm not disagreeing here. I don't want to make this more complicated.
      • tudelo 8y ago
        But what chance do you think there is to actually have a real conversation with someone over social media (or even text)? Most of the time seems to be spent on making the wrong assumptions about what you think someone means or just straight up disagreement over the pillars of an issue.
        • rc-1140 8y ago
          > But what chance do you think there is to actually have a real conversation with someone over social media (or even text)? Based on the context of the original comment, they probably believe the chance is very low. After thinking on it a bit based on my own experiences over the years, even after using niche forums for hobbies and just plain socializing, it's often very rare to have a real conversation. One example I can provide right now are a few people I've seen on one of those aforementioned niche forums who basically copy-paste all of their "opinions" on software and technology from a different forum and are dogmatic to the point where interaction with them is exhausting and counteractive towards the light-hearted and positive nature of the forum; it's not worth it to even try to align the messages of both parties based on their biases because the dogmatic ones are looking to be "right" and believe that those who aren't in agreement haven't been shown the light. It quickly becomes more prudent to simply ignore that person/those people, but not everyone does, and those who do choose the path of tuning out leave the area that much more barren. Of course, I'm not talking about things that are reflexively grouped under "social media" like Twitter and such. Still can't figure Twitter out.
• shankr 8y ago
  I need a relationship and it doesn't come easy when you are brown gay living in a white country.
  • Mane 8y ago
    Why do you "need" a relationship? Generally, I'd advice on being so comfortable with yourself that you don't ever feel like you "need" a relationship.
    • shankr 8y ago
      I have been single for about 5 years now. Earlier, I was moving around more looking for better career. Now, I am more stable with a good job. I wanted to say, I want to be in one. Obviously, I don't "need" one just for the sake of having one.
  • drew72 8y ago
    I feel you and I wish it were easier for my fellow gays who are POC. I hope you get to live in a city, at least.
  • bynkman 8y ago
    I hear you brother. I haven't cracked this one yet either. I've given up a bit, but I should know better... Nothing is going to change unless I keep putting myself out there.
• phonebucket 8y ago
  I am willing to work on something if and only if either of the following holds: 1) I find it interesting 2) It is important to my family.
• ironjunkie 8y ago
  when you feel it is time to move, move fast and don't wait X more months to confirm it and make sure of it 100%. (talking about job here more specifically) Life is short, there is no time for procrastination for a shitty job, relation or anything else that doesn't bring you anything anymore
• ironjunkie 8y ago
  Business is business. Don't expect managers//companies to be fair with you. If they can get away with an easy lie, they will.
• pleasecalllater 8y ago
  Life is short, so work on things that matter. People you love can be gone tomorrow. You too - so prepare for that. You don't make friends at job, you will be fired as soon as they notice you have some family problems influencing your work. There will be no talking, no asking anything... and then your "friends" will silently agree with everything the manager does. Read more - it really helps with anything you will do. Write more - get a pen and a notebook, not a computer. People will disagree with the brightest and most true thing you will write - just don't care as soon as what you wrote is true.
  • hajhatten 8y ago
    Sounds like a really rough year. Hope the coming 12 months will go easier on you.
    • pleasecalllater 8y ago
      Thanks.
  • oldcynic 8y ago
    > You don't make friends at job The more general variation on this theme is : "Most of your friends aren't". They're drinking buddies, folks to talk to at $event and $hobby_club If shit meets fan most of them will disappear. There will be a few who turn out to be real friends. A few in each group will surprise you greatly.
    • toomanybeersies 8y ago
      I've learned the hard way that there are true friends and there are fair weather friends. The worst part is that if they were in a shitty situation I would've been willing to help them out (and often did), but when the tables were turned they were nowhere to be found.
    • pleasecalllater 8y ago
      > "Most of your friends aren't". Yea, I think that's what I wanted to write. And drinking is the best way to get a promotion, knowledge and skills don't matter if you drink with the boss.
• sus_007 8y ago
  Stay with a single programming language, a single framework, a single library, a single tech stack, a single version control system until you extract the last drop out of it. Also, I am done with T.V & Social Media. World Cup 2018 is going on ATM, we have Cricket World Cup next, then we have another Sports Tournament, and another, and another one... The entire entertainment industry is one infinite `loop` of baloney and you hold the `break` statement to it. They're made to distract you from the real deal. Go out with a Soccer ball in stead, you don't have to be a top-class player yourself, just kick the damn ball. No matter how lazy you think you are, how fat/thin you are, start exercising. Just do the basics at the beginning and slowly progress. Seriously just start with a 5 minutes of Jumping Jacks in the morning. You'll feel much better for the rest of your day. Also, as seen on many of the suggestions in this thread, don't worry a lot about how short our life is. It makes matters worse.
  • WhompingWindows 8y ago
    You don't find value in enjoying a 90 minute game with friends? I'm all for limiting TV but World Cup 2018 is not really an endless cycle, they only do it once every 4 years and it's far less content than the Olympics.
    • sus_007 8y ago
      I firmly stood by this opinion during the last World Cup of 2014 when I was still a high-schooler. From that tournament to this, I deeply regret the choices I've made for myself. Due to the influence of T.V & Social Media, I participated in high-school sports while my friends took part in International Olympiads competition. I won medals with my football team while my peers won medals on Physics, Maths, etc. Thus, I'm not gonna let them influence the rest of my life. Now, I strictly live my life following so called Death-bed philosophy[0]. I spend quality time with my friends & family to discuss about our day-to-day incidents and others, not to debate on a third person's performance on the pitch. Also, I don't find much difference among Olympics or Fifa World Cup or any other world sporting leagues, regardless of their popularity or duration, I find all of them to serve NIL for my prosperity- just a frequent hit of dopamine, that's all. [0]https://learningunlimited.com/deathbed-philosophy/ https://learningunlimited.com/deathbed-philosophy/
• ainiriand 8y ago
  Product is king. Execution > idea. All good things in life are hard to get.
• misterioss 8y ago
  In every area, there will be two types of people: who likes you and who hates you. It doesn't matter who you are and what you do.
• saheb37 8y ago
  It takes a long time to create something rare and valuable. Patience is priceless. Going all the way for your dream (or something you believe in); it doesn't matter how many times you fail, and only you should be responsible to decide when to let it go when you think it's time to move on. Doing what you want, for as long as you want, is what life is all about. Only one or maybe two things are really important at any point in your life, rest of them just seem important, but they are not. Boredom is the biggest problem of our generation.
  • vertigolimbo 8y ago
    Can you expand on the last one? I reached the conclusion that I am the most creative, productive and feeling the best when I am bored. But there is price to pay - it takes a lot of effort to get bored. Our generation is constantly distracted and getting bored is actually a skill. From that perspective, it's the lack of boredom which is the biggest problem of our generation. Are we thinking along the same lines?
    • Clubber 8y ago
      I think maybe the reason every generation today is constantly distracted is they are constantly bored and there are lots of frivilous things designed to fill that boredom. They are constantly distracted by things that are designed to give you something to do when you are bored. I'm bored, lets see what's on TV. I'm bored, lets see what my Facebook friends are doing. I'm bored, let's see what I can buy on Amazon or eBay. I'm bored, let me see what's on HN. I think a better alternative would be: I'm bored, I'll paint a painting. I'm bored, I'll write up a POC of an idea. I'm bored, I'll read a book. I'm bored, I'll create something. I'm bored, I'll learn something new. I'm bored, I'll go outside and play. Maybe hide your browser icon and put your code editor / paint / word processor icon in it's place.
    • noufalibrahim 8y ago
      My own learning from some amount of introspection is that I work best when under pressure to perform. This might be due to a hard deadline (missing which has serious costs for me), when long term reputation is on the line, when time is too short, when money is running out etc. When I'm comfortable with my life and relaxed, I tend to slack and mess things up in the long term.
• GrumpyNl 8y ago
  Cryptos are a scam.
• throwawayME123 8y ago
  I've been working in the tech sector since forever. A year ago I took a gig in the Middle East, working for a logistics company. This not being a tech company, plus the lack of tech talent in this region means that the company isn't anywhere as sophisticated as my past companies. Very few people here could get a job at any of my previous companies. However, it's growing like crazy, hitting revenue goals we never were able to hit in my previous companies, because there is such a huge demand on the market here for logistics/deliveries. Lesson learned = do something the market wants, you don't even need to be that good to be successful (wrt growth).
• factorialboy 8y ago
  Invest in yourself. If your work is too important, then invest in yourself some more. More performant self = Better output.
• jxub 8y ago
  Passing a driving exam in Spain may suck and not work on the 1st (or the 6th) try, but gosh it leaves some funny stories to tell afterwards. Use a trackball instead of a mouse. Your wrists will thank you for it. People share their feelings more often than I thought. Maybe opening up isn't as bad.
  • randcraw 8y ago
    You can take my trackball only from my cold dead hand...
• firefoxd 8y ago
  * Five co-founders are too many. * If you are working on someone else's crappy idea, think about working on your own crappy idea. * Call people you might need later when you don't need them. Or they tend to disappear when you do need them. * Learn about the stock market and invest right away. You'll make money, lose money, then understand money. * Build as many projects as time allows. It's nice to have the option to pick and choose. * If you don't do the thing you want to do today, 5 years from now you'll remember and wonder how different your life would have been if you did. * Don't ask people what they think about your idea. They'll either be supportive or mean to you. None of these are about your idea. * Have a conversation with someone who doesn't speak your language. Make the effort to understand them. Mr Tereso, came out of nowhere and taught me life lessons that changed my life. He spoke no English, and i spoke Duolingo level Japanese. * I'll end with this. If you are bored, create something. Make a clay pot, a drawing on paper, a JavaScript file, a wooden structure, a shoe rack, a sand castle, a matchstick home, a story. Make something you can look at the end result and you'll never get bored again...
  • leesalminen 8y ago
    > * If you don't do the thing you want to do today, 5 years from now you'll remember and wonder how different your life would have been if you did. Love this. Reminds me of Jobs’ Stanford commencement address and Bezos’ regret minimization frameworks. I try to live my life this way, though it’s not always possible.
  • crankybear1337 8y ago
    > If you are bored, create something. This is a bit rambly and tangential, but one thing I'd really want to emphasize is the "something" part. Sometimes it's good to decompress by just making something that's neither conventionally useful nor well-engineered, but absurd, like an inside joke taken to the extreme. A personal example: My friends and I have built an IRC bot that stores most of its code in Redis and is almost entirely developed on IRC by stuffing a bunch of incomprehensible JavaScript on a single line. It can pull data over HTTP and mangle it in various ways, it had a neural network trained with our IRC logs to generate random text, it has a Twitter client, can be used as a REPL, has a simple wiki-like database, etc. All these features are composable using an ad-hoc scripting "language" with a parser that sometimes breaks in hilarious ways. And most of the development happens when we are bored and just want to take a break. None of the code we've written for it or the technical "design" is pretty or robust. But we have a ton of fun hacking on it because we get to build something while completely disregarding whether it'll be useful or even work properly. That's why we work on it.
• BJanecke 8y ago
  humility
• KnightOfWords 8y ago
  Never underestimate a company's ability to work against its own interests.
• kd5bjo 8y ago
  Avoiding stressful situations is a mistake; it means you stagnate and never get the joy that comes when the situation is resolved.
• kamaal 8y ago
  Should have learned statistics early.
• dagorenouf 8y ago
  There is no silver bullet when it comes to programming. No matter how simple a new framework promises to make things, you end up having to learn as much as with any other to achieve a non-trivial result. When I realized this, I started looking at frameworks and languages not based on hype, but based on the style I would enjoy learning the most with.
• yoaviram 8y ago
  We've ether passed, our will pass in the near future several points of no return with regards to our dependence on technology. There's a good chance that this will be to our detriment. Here's a talk I have about the topic recently with more details: https://youtu.be/q5x7njMMugw https://youtu.be/q5x7njMMugw
• spookyuser 8y ago
  This thread is pretty cool, could be a standalone site.
• gargravarr 8y ago
  Never. Trust. Computers.
• yakshaving_jgt 8y ago
  - Many well known people in tech are charlatans. - There is no integrity in keeping silent when witnessing wrongdoing, even when speaking out may harm your current business prospects. - Most "interesting" ideas in tech currently simply aren't. - "Software Craftsmanship" is a scam. - Programmers are far less logical than they would themselves believe. - Non-tech project managers in tech teams are beyond useless; they're often plainly harmful to the business. This is not an exhaustive list, and I didn't learn all these things in the past 12 months. Some have just been beaten into me more over the past year.
  • 6ue7nNMEEbHcM 8y ago
    Hey, can you elaborate on '"Software Craftsmanship" is a scam.'?
    • yakshaving_jgt 8y ago
      Much of what's said in that community is uninteresting and nonsensical. I was super interested in this "movement" for some years and joined many of those events. The trouble is, so much of it is programmers patting themselves on the back for being more "disciplined" than your average working programmer. Before Google, business listing websites competed by being the most disciplined in listing business data — they had humans doing this. Along comes Google and gains a huge advantage by leveraging technology — not human discipline. And we all know who won. Most outspoken Software Craftsmanship proponents eschew technologies like a strong type system à la Haskell in favour of manually-written tests — somehow not realising that you gain most leverage by taking advantage of types, and tests, and other formal verification systems. Furthermore, in my experience, many architectural patterns talked about at these events (onions, ports and adapters, etc) are over-engineered piles of garbage in practice. Wanting to be a better programmer is a good thing, of course. Dogmatically doing TDD (and yes, I write tests!) and adhering to SOLID principles is not the way you go about it.
      • spidey1 8y ago
        So how do you go about it? I've only been in this field for about 18 months and I'm so overwhelmed by all these conflicting ideas and have no idea where to turn. Do you have any advice for juniors on how to internalise good engineering principles and how to avoid dogma?
• KozmoNau7 8y ago
  Don't forget to enjoy life. Travel, go to restaurants, go to museums, go see music live in concert, go to festivals, hang out with friends, get drunk (if that's your thing), forget about your worries for just an hour, a day, a week, to clear your mind and get a fresh perspective. Throw off the shackles of modern civilized life once in a while. "Forget" your smartphone, you can live without constant social media updates and news articles. It's perfectly OK to be bored, don't be afraid to be alone with your own thoughts for a while. Daydreaming is healthy. Everything is all fucked in the end, anyway. Might as well remember to live life while you still can.
• thorin 8y ago
  * All the stuff that's important to you can disappear in a few hours and there is likely nothing you can do about it * Trying harder will not always change someones mind about things and may make stuff worse * You need to rely on and trust and respect yourself first before others due to the above * Mindfulness, exercise and nature can be your best friends, don't ignore them * Keep in touch with old friends and make new ones when you can you never know when you might need them * Reading is good, specialization is for insects, be good at lots of stuff and don't be too upset if you don't feel you can't master anything * Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
• Theodores 8y ago
  That frontend web development is usually executed extremely poorly. The HN crowd is different, however, your average agency is still using processes that pre-date the iPhone, hiring average 'designers' that create pretty pictures with placeholder copy, average frontend developers that have little interest in accessibility and evolving web standards and project management that keeps backend developers in the dark, all tasks sliced and diced because it is 'agile'. This represents great opportunity as it is 4x quicker developing with content and the customer first. Clients need not be infuriated by expense, lack of progress and the agony of getting their online business making money. Biggest discovery is thanks to 'Lighthouse' - it seems most average websites think it is okay to bundle a megabyte of scripts with a page and ten to twenty thousand lines of CSS, 97% of which is not used.
• icc97 8y ago
  After 8 years I've finally come to the end of struggling with working remotely. I'm going back to 2 hour daily commutes. The flexibility of remote work can be a real problem. It causes arguments because you don't have a 3rd party to blame for when you have to be in work or not.
  • baby 8y ago
    Not sure I understand. Why do you need to blame a third party?
    • icc97 8y ago
      Same thing as using a GPS rather than a map. If you get lost or something goes wrong it's the fault of the GPS rather than the person reading the map. The company you're working for fixes the working hours so there's no discussion about doing 'just this one thing' at some random point in the day.
  • archenemy 8y ago
    seems like you didn't have that much 'flexibility' if you had to argue each diversion with your company. it's not the hours, it's the results.
• RHSman2 8y ago
  Having started a business/startup solo, gained traction and moved to a company with all my IP and experience (into a senior equity bearing role) I have learnt more in one year than the rest of my 40 years. However, I’d distill it into: Our lives are our own making. We are given where we landed on this earth but the rest is up to you and how you deal with the challenges.
• jbms 8y ago
  It's recognised that money doesn't change you but it amplifies who you are. I've realised intelligence or ability is the same - it amplifies what you can do but doesn't itself change you. Living in Scotland, vitamin D daily really helps mood. There are people who lie and manipulate. Don't be naive and dismiss or justify the incongruities. Investigating incongruities will always teach you something, as there's an unknown reason for the incongruity. Problems need holistic solutions - e.g. sorting posture by increasing muscular strength isn't enough if you also need to work on loosening muscles and increasing flexibility. Hence the need to persevere more. A lot of people struggle with keeping the bigger picture in mind (e.g. thinking about the user when designing a part of a system).
• zuzuleinen 8y ago
  Some self-promo: I run a weekly newsletter with lessons gathered from HN https://lessonsofhn.com https://lessonsofhn.com Here are some things I learned in the past 12 months: * economics are more useful to me than politics. Stop reading news on politics, but rather financial news * my biggest flaws are lack of patience and a big ego. Was hard to see this even though most of my life problems originated from these two * sleep is damn important * knowing yourself is an illusion. You can have the feeling that you know yourself, but you'll be amazed how many things you can still learn about yourself. * is very important to avoid resentment. This means talking or doing uncomfortable things, but is such a relief afterwards
  • solutionyogi 8y ago
    I was thinking about doing something similar. There are so many gems to be discovered in HN Comments. Subscribed immediately to your list. Did you ever do Show HN of this project?
    • zuzuleinen 8y ago
      I did, but in an early stage where I had only one lesson in the archive. Didn't really catch up. I'm planning to switch to the new domain hnlessons.com, maybe I'll do then another one
  • soalian 8y ago
    What kind of financial news do you read to inform your judgment on larger issues? I feel I tend to get overwhelmed with short-term and often irrelevant news on finance/global economics/markets with my current curation routine, as I read daily sources that focus on immediate markets news with little in-depth substance (Reuters/WSJ/Bloomberg...)? Do you also read more in-depth analysis, featured in weekly or monthly magazines such as The Econommist or other?
    • zuzuleinen 8y ago
      I'm quite ignorant at the topic and just at the beginning. Right now I started to read The concise guide to economics[1] As the title says it's a really simple and concise book which explain basic terms from economy. I find it quite good for beginners like me. In the future I plan to add these to my reading list: Financial Times blog[2] Paul Krugman's blog[3] The New York Times The Economist [1] https://www.amazon.com/Concise-Guide-Economics-Jim-Cox/dp/1933550155 https://www.amazon.com/Concise-Guide-Economics-Jim-Cox/dp/19... [2] https://ftalphaville.ft.com https://ftalphaville.ft.com [3] https://www.nytimes.com/column/paul-krugman https://www.nytimes.com/column/paul-krugman
• cygned 8y ago
  Communication is the key factor for success.
• chadcmulligan 8y ago
  How to recognise and safely ignore narcissists, thanks president trump!
• andersthue 8y ago
  That self betrayal is the root of all my suffering. Read the “The Anatomy of Peace” for full explanation.
• alchemism 8y ago
  * When the CEO dumps the CTO and folds the job into his own, the startup is dead, no matter for how long it continues to turn a profit. * Freecamping in Europe has shown me as an American that America is not nearly as free as we were taught to think. Great place to make money, though. * There are definitely better things to experience in life than playing with more money than one really _needs_.
  • Cthulhu_ 8y ago
    > Great place to make money, though. Caveats: Getting sick / injured, not having a normally paying job, poor worker rights, growing old. I'm happy to pay half my income in taxes if it means me and the people I care about will be taken care of.
  • wj 8y ago
    Just as an FYI you can camp free on national forest land in Oregon. I had a friend that did that for two summers.
    • workinthehead 8y ago
      You can camp for free on national parks and most state parks as well. So I'm wondering what exactly OP is going on about unless being super edgy.
      • zbentley 8y ago
        I interpreted OP's statement as referring to other, unsaid aspects of (US) American life that they saw in contrast while camping in Europe--not as referring to the "free" in "freecamping" as a significant difference between the two regions. I'd be interested in what those differences were, though.
        • CalRobert 8y ago
          In some regions you are permitted to camp _on someone else's private property_ given you adhere to specific, and somewhat strict, rules. https://www.scotways.com/faq/law-on-statutory-access-rights https://www.scotways.com/faq/law-on-statutory-access-rights
• nsb1 8y ago
  * The larger a company is, the more internally screwed up and annoying it is to work for * Cliche, but worth repeating: Money doesn't buy happiness, it buys choices, some of which may make you happier than others. * Intimate relationships are like spinning plates: Hard to get started, easy to maintain once they are, but they DO require maintenance or they will eventually crash. Do nice things for your significant other and you will always have a refuge from the other crap that happens in your life.
  • randcraw 8y ago
    Until I worked for a fortune 100 company, I never understood how true Dilbert was. Alas, the real world isn't as funny.
• tonyedgecombe 8y ago
  * That I probably shouldn't ride my bike so aggressively now I'm in my mid fifties. * That the NHS is much better than it's portrayed in the media. * That my political opinions are way out of alignment with the majority. * That I don't much like my software, the platform it runs on or a substantial proportion of my customers.
• adgulacti 8y ago
  my small family's health and happiness above all. first, second and third most important learning. if i feel i need to resign, i need to resign immediately. job hunt is never easy. recruitment process is shit in most companies, almost in all startups. self-motivation is most important. stop depending on external verification. sleep & wake at the same time, spend some time outdoors early in the day, take a look at the sky, smile at the people in subway, say "bless you" when they sneeze. smile especially when you feel bad about the work, smile when the others don't smile, help people. stop wasting stupid money, save and spend on what will make the family feel better. berlin, its startups and founders are overrated. still there are some that shine.
• yukidaruma90 8y ago
  * Write technical posts are a good way to learn. * Use less SNS and do more useful work.
• j0hnml 8y ago
  Live closer to work. An hour+ commute is just not worth it in the grand scheme of things.
  • rivenfall 8y ago
    this usally means pay more for space : so you have to convince your partner not to be messy
• wonderwuzzle 8y ago
  Worries are temporary. Doing things with cold logic will get them solved, but doing them with your heart will make you grow. Bad days are important too. Everyone struggles, but not everyone manages that properly. Justifying shitty actions with past experiences is no justification alone. Taking care of both yourself and others is incredibly rewarding.
• deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
• mail2vks 8y ago
  * Always change your job if you are not happy in the current one for any major reason. * Always talk to your seniors/manager for advice when you are stuck * Move away from the habit of instant gratification as you move up * Buying a used car is always better than buying a new one. Save on taxes and not much fear in crashing it. * Any app with infinite scroll is made to glue you in and waste your time
  • lotsofpulp 8y ago
    Buying a used car is not always "better" than a new one. It depends on how much your time is worth, and what utility you get out of your vehicle. For example, if you live with a family and 1 person does not NEED a car, then they can be passed the oldest car, and when it's ready to junk, you buy a brand new one where you don't have to worry about the history of the car. Rinse, repeat, you will maximize the value obtained from each vehicle and not have to worry about how previous drivers or mechanics treated it. This biggest expenses in cars are the surprise ones where you end up shelling out for towing or emergency repair or paying extra to buy a one since you are time constrained and can't shop. But if you have a spare car, then you have the luxury of using it until it's dead, and leisurely shopping for a deal when you need another.
    • Raz2 8y ago
      Why whoud you pass a car to a person who doesn't need a car?
      • lotsofpulp 8y ago
        I meant need in the sense that it's mission critical, for their work pretty much. But suppose it's for retired grandparents, or a stay at home parent then it's not needed, but it is useful.
      • deleted 8y ago
        [deleted]
• Rayzar 8y ago
  * There is life after failing at a startup * When building a business, being organized matters more than being smart * Most things in life work out better when taken one step at a time, no matter how slow it feels * Things happen in life all the time. It gets easier when you can identify the ones you can change, which ones you can only change slightly and which ones you have no control over
• rivenfall 8y ago
  1. Society (at least in Paris) rewards people who buy their own (humble) home, stay there, and don't own a car. - if you don't buy now you might as well rent forever, because inflation is not some BS tailored number like 2% : prices can go up 10% in a year - real interest rates to buy property are negative because of inflation - speculating or trading is BS and doesn't cover for inflation - investing is ok but not as good as investing in your own home - renting costs more than owning property - if you are not patient enough selling property costs more than renting - cars real cost: buying, maintaining, parking, insurance, energy, freeways, possible accidents... 2. It's easier to get up early if you're alone, and it might even be easier to fall asleep
• openfuture 8y ago
  Most people will not be able to judge status based on more than one metric at a time and the first metric will often be money. The world is a maze and you always have more options than you realize. Doing what you think would be best (i.e. learning Russian) is most often not as good as doing something similar that fits your routine better (i.e. there's a Polish guy in your building that's willing to teach you Polish). Another formulation: Don't force your dreams but rather take (with gratitude) what is given/in front of you. If what you think is best is worth it then change your life so that it can fit comfortably into your routine. Time doesn't exist but causality does. Whatever you are doing don't beat yourself up when your focus drifts to something else. You will find yourself drifting back to it when you reach a catalyst, so the things you really want to do will eventually see the light of day. Relaxing is more powerful than tensing, you can get further and faster (This one I keep learning over and over in new contexts). Everyone is obsessed with fashion and how you look says more about you than you yourself are able to comprehend. This is because there are people that can see everything they need to know about you from how you look, you are familiar with this phenomena but from the other side. Resist it. You are fundamentally alone.
  • philangist 8y ago
    > Doing what you think would be best (i.e. learning Russian) is most often not as good as doing something similar that fits your routine better (i.e. there's a Polish guy in your building that's willing to teach you Polish). Another formulation: Don't force your dreams but rather take (with gratitude) what is given/in front of you. I love this statement. To me it seems to be another expression of "don't let perfection be the enemy of good".
• youdontknowtho 8y ago
  I'm not cynical enough. I still have the capacity to be surprised by the mundane. It not only can get worse, it is getting worse.
• orschiro 8y ago
  To do less but focus deeply.
• CalRobert 8y ago
  * Babies are ten times more time consuming than I thought. I knew they took all of your time but I never understand what life is like when you have to schedule a task that takes ten minutes for the weekend But it gets easier and they (well, mine at least :-) ) are absolutely wonderful, or can be at least. * I thought if Trump won I would be glad I left the US. And I am, but it's overpowered by a pervasive, ever-present sadness and despair. * Facebook is (was, rather) probably a net negative in my life.
• anoncoward111 8y ago
  That love and freedom are 1000000x more important than money, career, and status
• beaconstudios 8y ago
  - Consistent disciplined work is more productive than bursts of inspired work, over any meaningful time frame. For example, your side project will be much nearer to completion in 6 months if you put in 3 hours of pre-planned work every night, as opposed to 12 hours of frantic inspired work every week. - Do the things you have to do first. - You have two mental modes of operation - "manager" mode and "worker" mode. Batching your tasks by this dichotomy reduces stress caused by context switching between the two. In other words - when you're planning, plan. When you're doing, do. - Software features don't mean shit unless you're designing the workflow around them. Tools that work based on journeys and flows are better than tools that provide disconnected capabilities and make you implement the journeys in your head.
• 97s 8y ago
  Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
  • pavel_lishin 8y ago
    > Turn off all social media. Turn off Hacker News.
    • 97s 8y ago
      I don't read hacker news much. Thankfully I have a friend who reads it and sends me all the best articles! Thanks Jesse.
  • dmode 8y ago
    I am really curious how you did that. The negativity on social media and politics today is really affecting my mental health and I don't know how to switch it off
    • majos 8y ago
      I stopped using Twitter and switched to the weekly print copy of The Economist for news. It means you're slightly behind, but anything you learn you learn more deeply. And a lot of up-to-the-minute stuff is just needless button-pushing anyway.
    • IanSanders 8y ago
      What worked for me was to switch off all notifications, remove all bookmarks/shortcuts and gradually stop checking.
    • wildmindwriting 8y ago
      This too was a problem for me (and sometimes continues to be). I've been using `hosts` (https://github.com/StevenBlack/hosts https://github.com/StevenBlack/hosts) to block all of the social sites so I have to rethink my decision to visit one. It's enough of a hiccup to stop the mindlessness of it. Thankfully, Hacker News still feels valuable and worth the time I spend on it.
• potatoblaster 8y ago
  There is a difference between engineers and developers. Engineers are annoying AF.
  • peterkelly 8y ago
    Care to elaborate?
    • potatoblaster 8y ago
      Mechanical keyboards :)
• iuguy 8y ago
  A few days ago last year, my heart imploded. We still don't know what caused it. We don't know if it'll come back (I've had a shitty couple of months recently with the same symptoms but they went away at the end of last week), and I had major knee problems at the same time. Still working on improving my health, but coming to terms with this being a part of life rather than something I'll get over completely. If anything, the last 12 months has taught me that your health is the one thing you can't replace. Enjoy living while you can, because when your health's gone, it's gone.
  • sus_007 8y ago
    I firmly believe that no matter how healthy you think you are, how young & fit you feel today, you should never underestimate the complexity of human body biology. It is unpredictable and there's nothing we can do about it, but try our best to minimize the risks. So sorry to hear about your misfortune. How is the recovery going ?
    • iuguy 8y ago
      It's more management than recovery, sadly. But I'm at the point where I'm getting on with living with it as best as I can.
• skipthemeat 8y ago
  Luck plays such a major role in life that: 1) You're better off looking at things probabilistically. 2) You should seek ways to put the odds in your favor whenever you go up to bat and forget about the outcome. 3) When things are going your way, don't get arrogant. And when things aren't, don't get despondent. 4) You should keep going up to bat and let the law of averages work things out in your favor.
  • adventured 8y ago
    I strongly agree with the stray luck / good fortune factor. I'll add that I think there is the considerable potential to enhance the access to lucky outcomes and or the rate at which you can run into good luck events. Simple, rather obvious things like doing (do a thing, take action) and asking (if you never ask...), dramatically improve your odds of causing and or colliding with good luck outcomes. They often take very little time as well. The biggest cost in asking, is typically being shot down; if you can handle that, then the sky opens up. I used to be really mediocre at the asking aspect. I remember my mother telling me, when I was a teenager, that I was just like her, I never asked for what I wanted, and she lamented that the squeaky wheel always get the grease. That pissed me off, the projection of her flaw/weakness/non-action choice onto me. I've tried to remind myself since then, to routinely stab at the universe for stray opportunities by inquiring, asking, etc. The first time I raised venture capital, it was because I sent a cold email to a billionaire. I didn't think they'd reply, and the email only took ten minutes to craft late one night. They replied and were interested in what I was building, and I raised capital from that person shortly thereafter. All I had to do, is do something (build), and ask (network the action I took out into the wider world), and I made a good luck outcome possible. Absolutely nothing would have happened without the ask; such a simple thing.
    • skipthemeat 8y ago
      Great story and agreed. If you can handle any perceived psychic/ego damage from being rejected, then asking for things is essentially "free luck". Other ways to put things in your favor over the long term: - Keep increasing your capacity to do things. Learn ubiquitous skills such as sales, basic accounting, negotiation, speaking, etc. - Keep increasing your network. Asking is a huge part of this. - Improve your signalling. Signal your achievements, your opinions...share. - Grow your assets. Even if it means putting a little bit of money away or cutting down on expenses.
• deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
• bechampion 8y ago
  showing up wins.
• swanlyk 8y ago
  I began watching streaming documentaries instead of shows. Listening to non-fiction audiobooks instead of music. Not exclusively but much more so.
• hatsunearu 8y ago
  * Maintaining a C library actually used by many people within the organization taught me how to organize code, release code, take feedback, and make it better. * Same as the above, but for Python. * SIMD Intrinsics for C to add some extra juice to my code.
• jrs95 8y ago
  A CTO and a VP of Engineering with overlapping functional roles is a very, very bad thing.
• DoubleGlazing 8y ago
  For me I have learned that there comes a point when you need to work differently in order to protect your health and family well being. Big salaries are great, but when the price for that is massive amounts of overtime that takes you away from your family it just isn't worth it. Now I work for myself and I love it. Hobbies are vitally important to keeping you happy and healthy, don't neglect them. When you get a speeding ticket and the GPS co-ordinates in the photo imply the camera van was miles away, the court won't care. My son was diagnosed with ADHD. A relief to know what it was, but also a burden in terms of managing it. Falling down the stairs after slipping on a Nerf gun hurts. It really, really hurts. Family comes first, always.
  • jakecopp 8y ago
    Thanks for writing that. Why does distance from car to camera van matter though? I'm very curious!
    • kqr 8y ago
      If the van was in Hereville when concluding that that OP, being in Theretown, was speeding -- how reliable are their reports?
      • DoubleGlazing 8y ago
        Exactly this. I brought in maps from three different mapping sources and loads of research papers on the subject of GPS, but the judge said it was irrelevant and found guilty. This is despite the fact that the prosecuting Garda could not produce the calibration certificate for the van. For challenging and losing my wife got 5 points instead of 3 for just paying the fine without a fuss. This situation hit me hard, made me really doubt the impartiality of the courts.
        • tudelo 8y ago
          Wow, I feel for you man. That's crazy. You should do a write up on the process. Maybe submit it to a paper, local or otherwise?
• newfoundglory 8y ago
  Quit earlier. I stuck around in a screwed up project until I couldn't stand talking to anyone else involved, I would have been way better off if I'd committed to leaving about four months earlier than I did - when I could see that the fundamental requirements and plans were being faked for management, and everyone else was OK with that. By the time I did leave I was having actual nightmares about work.
  • Clubber 8y ago
    I learned this lesson 9 years ago, then implemented it last year. Steady paychecks are nice, but plan so you don't need them to live month to month if you can swing it. Once the company turns sour and you're always angry, it's past time to move on to something fresher. I took a nice 3 month sabbatical and it was the best summer since college. Life is too short.
    • newfoundglory 8y ago
      I definitely could have afforded to quit, but I kept on believing that I could fix it and I just had to explain things to the right people...eventually my manager delivered me a glowing written performance review while telling me in person that he wanted to put me on a PIP, and asked if I wanted to transfer to another team. Total mindfuck. If I hadn't had a solid reputation through the company and with her management chain already I'm sure he would have tried to fire me.
• amorphid 8y ago
  That confronting one's fears head on can be an amazing way to build confidence.
• LTjoker 8y ago
  Food is to share. If not as sustenance, than as the energy to build something.
• kszxgz 8y ago
  (1.) Peace through humility. * The humble live in continuous peace, while in the hearts of the proud are envy and frequent anger. (2.) Establish constructive, rational ways of thinking. * Constructive thinking is defined as "the degree to which a person's automatic thinking ... facilitates solving problems in everyday life at a minimum cost in stress." * The more constructively you think, the happier you feel, and the better your emotional adjustment. (3.) Strive for joy and contentment, not happiness. * It’s important to make a distinction between joy and happiness. Happiness is circumstantial, like the pleasure that comes from eating ice cream on a sunny day at the beach. Such happiness is slippery and can vanish in a second. But joy is different. At the very least, it isn’t based on circumstances, which means it can’t be taken away (4.) Enable contentment. * “Though a good dinner is not to be despised — yet it is not worthy to be compared with a contented mind, which is a continual feast.” * Contentment may be particularly useful for counteracting problems that stem from fear and anxiety. (5.) Be patient. * That’s what patience is. It’s being able to have this sense, in the middle of craziness, that all is not necessarily well according to circumstances, but all is well. Patience is being rooted in something outside of yourself, even when our hearts are weak and frail. * Listen patiently and with an open mind. (6.) Reduce negative emotions. * Distorted evaluation of our performance in front of other people is the reason for depression and anxiety. * Most negative emotions are completely useless. Resentment, bitterness, hate, and jealousy have never improved the quality of life for a single human being. (7.) Purity and simplicity give freedom. * “Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.” * The happiest homes in the world are not those in which are the finest carpets, the costliest pictures, the most luxurious furniture — but those in which glad, peaceful hearts dwell. (8.) Build beautiful habits. * Most of the choices we make each day may feel like the products of well-considered decision making, but they’re not. They’re habits. * Create healthful, beautiful habits to live sustainably and achieve long-term goals. (9.) Exercise regularly. * Regular cardio exercise can help you sleep better, feel more alert and energetic, and enjoy reduced risks for cancer, diabetes and osteoporosis. (10.) Eat healthily. * The key public health challenge today is to reduce intake of all highly processed carbohydrates in favor of whole carbohydrates (fruits, vegetables, legumes and minimally processed grains) and healthful fats (like nuts, avocado and olive oil).
• frankthrowaway 8y ago
  I learned a lot about the habits of intelligent affluent people. My sample size is very low, but it was an interesting year in that regard since I've never seen anything quite like it. Some things seem obvious, some didn't, you'll learn them a lot faster if you're somehow in the middle of it. Warning: based on anecdata * Look at a cosmopolitan city center. Everyone who owns a house debt free there is rich. * Look again at said center, most likely the owners aren't from your country (except US probably). * Conservative rich people invest heavily in the housing market. * The amount of rich people having some emotional understanding of working on a per hour basis, or working for a normal wage in general, is low. * I've seen people in a relationship from different income classes, some definitely have it tough to understand each other. I haven't seen anyone break because of it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened with a fraction of them. Hypothetical example, combine it with stereotypical gender ideals (e.g. man must pay) and a SO (woman) that has expensive hobbies, the working-class man cannot keep up. * My prediction on: the rich friend determines what's going to happen if he/she pays was dead on. I also predicted it might erode such a relationship when money comes too much into play, which I was partially right about. * The claim that most wealth is inherited seems to be true from my personal experience. Consequently, most people don't know how to get rich but how to stay rich. * Some rich people get a really amazing education and are polymaths by the time they get into their twenties. Some rich people are more the opposite. * All in all, I feel money is a multiplier on a lot of things. I know that, for me, money will be a multiplier on the expression of my personality. If you are into new age stuff, then as a rich person you have a new age house, for example. If you're a sci-fi person, then you'll have a techy house. ---- Jobs ---- * People don't value your computer science degree at all if they studied a shitty study program (any) and hate university because of it and don't have experience with hiring CS grads. It turns out, that's still a rather large group. * Corollary: people don't evaluate your experience in the right way. * When people see the word "internship" they see it as no experience, despite the fact that the programming work was more demanding than most employees there. * Interviewing in startups doesn't follow any sane process. To do: I need to figure out how to to get some understanding on a startup's culture in less than 2 hours. Thanks for the question, these 12 months have been emotionally weird. I guess I needed to vent a bit. Dealing with income inequality from so close all of a sudden feels tough, but I'm fine right? So why should it be? Hence it's weird.
• jessemillar 8y ago
  - It's okay to write code that isn't "perfect" but gets the job done. - Make efforts to simplify things and make them maintainable for the future, but not at the expense of your health, well being, or the cohesion of your team. - Stress will kill you and mess with the people around you (especially your spouse). Learn to understand yourself and how you react to emotional stimuli so you can "roll with the punches".
• kahlonel 8y ago
  Not eating healthy, and not doing enough exercise seriously messes up the brain functionality. It isn't apparent if you're young, but it keeps adding up until it explodes.
• jeandejean 8y ago
  I learnt that having a kid would not be the end of my freedom, but rather the end of procrastination: changed jobs, bought a home and I can't count how many great and little things I eventually dared and took time to do.
• hutzlibu 8y ago
  Letting go. There are things that you really want and things that you think you want. The more you focus on the latter, the less likely it is that the things you really want and need, come to you. But after I could let go of arbitrary wishes and ideas, the things I needed came easily. Secondly, even in moments of intense emotional stress(like death of a close one) - never "don't give a f*". You still breath as natural as possible, you still try to find to keep your center, your equilibrium. Not also in those moments, but especially in those moments.
• nickstefan12 8y ago
  I've learned that the housing crisis is really just a wealth inequality crisis. Basically every city in America now thinks it has a housing crisis. Big. Small. Cheap. Expensive. Seriously, talk to people in every city and state and they all think their city has its own special housing crisis. I think as long as there are people with deep pockets, anywhere desirable will be expensive regardless of supply. Like when dieting, "you can't out exercise the fork", you can't out build the wealthy and multi property investors. The housing crisis is a wealth inequality problem. Trying to build out of it destroys the character of cities and their access to nature and for what? To appease the always too deep pockets of people buying up multiple houses...
• Tade0 8y ago
  People in this industry are generally competent and willing to work. Leadership is a variable though. And it can make or break a project.
  • Clubber 8y ago
    There's 2 main parts of tech management / leadership, IMO. The P&L part and the people part. Many people in my experience are good at one and not the other.
• jwbensley 8y ago
  Take more desk breaks were you get up and wall around. Getting he blood moving just by walking round the flat for a couple of minutes actually makes a difference. I work from home so I'm on the phone a reasonable amount - I always walk around on my calls. It also gives you a screen break and really helps with problem solving. I've also become more away of my dips in productivity. Unless you're doing something mundane you can't smash out great results for 8-10 hours every day. Switch tasks, go for a walk (outside this time), make a tea etc. Make sure your lunch break is something totally different to give your mind a break (I go watch TV).
  • jwbensley 8y ago
    Jeez - typo central! Sorry, I was actually walking around on my phone when I posted this :)
• ojr 8y ago
  contrary to popular belief, rushing to the market with a product you don't feel is ready can hurt more than help
  • uh_what 8y ago
    Would love to hear the story behind this lesson if you're willing to share.
• wildmindwriting 8y ago
  * Writing on a consistent basis is both rewarding and eye-opening. * Bumbling a tech interview can still bowl me over and make me feel inadequate, even though I've been in tech for 15 years. * International travel is life-changing. Seeing the world outside of my American bubble for the first time a few months ago altered me in a way I didn't think possible. * Not all titles mean something. * Do things for the sake of doing them, not because there is an end goal. * Time is more important than money (but pay off your debt). * Words and intent matter.
• tugberkk 8y ago
  That I should have not started to pursue a PhD degree here in my country.
• bradlys 8y ago
  If they're not hiring engineers for the company after the engineers quit - they're never going to. It's just a show and they'll continue to make up excuses. Look up the past experience of new management and the makeup of the company they were at. It's likely that new management was brought in to bring the same kind of management they were doing. i.e. if they outsource engineering at the previous company, they're probably going to do it to yours. This is your way of finding out what is coming before they actually announce it. If a sexual harassment lawsuit comes out against the company or people in the company and anyone is even partially guilty - no matter who they are - fire anyone involved and replace them even faster. If you're an employee that is not involved with the issue, leave the company ASAP. It's unlikely the company will do the former until it's too late and thus you will see every possible metric plummet. If management has a tendency to not replace people very quickly - they are either never replacing them or they just don't give a shit. Either way, get out. If management is making their calendars private - they don't value transparency no matter what they say. Something is probably happening that they don't want you to know - and it's never something good. I need to study technical interview problems on a more regular basis if I want to get a new job. Big Company interviews are harder than ever. $500k/yr is kind of obtainable in the bay area for a single earner. It's also the only way I'll ever afford the region (in terms of a family w/ a home). I need to start thinking about alternative plans. I've learned that I need to optimize for financial gains at a much faster rate than I have. I'm now giving up on every other goal for the moment because they just don't matter in comparison. I've realized now I should've held out for better offers and studied harder last year. My $30k/yr jump in comp could've been $100k and I should've studied harder and interviewed at more big companies. I've also learned I should not stay at a company for a year in hopes to "learn something". Just optimize for $$$ because experience will follow no matter where you go. If your partner is a drama queen or just gets upset all the time (short of you giving 100% of everything you have to them) - it's definitely them and not you. You have to let them grow up and focus on your own shit. You can't let another person suck all your energy away - they should be giving you energy and not taking it all away. If you've been waiting to get something for a decade or what not - the inevitable getting of it is probably going to be wildly underwhelming. You spent too long waiting for it. :( In my case, it was a motorcycle. I had wanted one for 8+ years but inevitably when I did get one - it was and still is underwhelming. Unfortunately, I don't get to ride it much now anyway since I'm so focused on studying and don't see that changing for a while.
• owaislone 8y ago
  - You can make genuine friends at work and these friendships don't have to end when people go their separate ways. One great way to stay in touch is to have weekly, bi-weekly or even monthly 1-1s with friends you don't work with anymore. It helps to stay in touch and keep the friendship alive, and you gain fresh perspectives on problems from time to time. - No matter how much transparent, rewarding and fair an organization thinks it is, just producing great work is never enough to get what you deserve in return. Ask for what you think you deserve, be it a promotion, a raise, more responsibility, etc. Don't wait for it to be handed to you. - No matter how much fair a company is, if you are not vocal enough about your contributions, you'll not get as much recognition as you deserve. That or you need someone to do that for you like your manager or colleague but that is very rare. - If people you look up to leaves the company, seriously re-think if you want to continue there. People leaving no matter how close to you will not badmouth the company so you won't know something is wrong. - If a founder leaves, get out ASAP and look for something better. - If you are not a founder and are the best person at your job in the company, get out and work with people you think are better than you. - You are worth much more than you think. If you want to make more money, you almost always can.
• s67 8y ago
  * age discrimination is a thing. I was laid off (with my entire QA team) a year ago, and even though I've interviewed with 20 companies, face-to-face, zero offers. I work on cutting-edge test automation, am recognized for my mentorship, but people see my gray hair and them balk. * Software developers rarely have any idea what it means to test software. Unit testing is a small, small sliver of the superset of things to test and ways to test. Moving from specialist testers to an "agile" focus on developer-written unit testing and calling that tiny but of test attention satisfactory. Listen, devs are awesome; I've written code, so I'm fully capable of being authoritative on my judgements of coding practices and software architecture, in the same way that you have written a unit test so you know all about equivalence class partitioning or exploratory testing. We're all on the same team, right? People over process. * You don't know how to interview or hire QA engineers or testers. There are multiple distinct conceptual models around testing software; these differences will have an effect on how your QA hires understand their work on your software. These differences will have impacts on your processes and the effectiveness of testing. By all means make your first QA hire a "senior" QA engineer with two years experience at a single company, where she was led by a development manager who doesn't understand the profession of testing. * The most important way to evaluate a tester is by an examination of testing skill; skip the recursion code challenge.
• sp527 8y ago
  Your ego will tell you your character cannot be meaningfully altered by the people around you. Your ego is a liar.
• pontifier 8y ago
  Judges can rule however they want regardless of the law in question. Politics is a popularity contest, and nobody cares about corruption and the issues. Nobody will stand up for you. If you stand up for yourself, there will probably be consequences. The FBI is scary.
• HelloFellowDevs 8y ago
  You're health is really more important than time, so invest time into your physical and mental health and it'll pay dividends. Few medical scares helped me come to this conclusion.
• vfinn 8y ago
  That there isn't much/anything outside of rationality, so what you should be doing, is get better at being rational / make more rational decisions. This applies to interaction with other people (what kind of interactions should you have), what you should be doing or not doing, etc. I feel there are many (silly/unreasonable/invalid) reasons why people oppose to being more rational. One could be thinking that being too rational is inhumane or that they "just don't care". Both cases should be alarming to oneself. Edit: What I'm trying to say is that: 1) If you look back, what you appraise are the well-thought decisions you made in most cases; 2) What's between these well-thought decisions are often more clutter than there should be, and in the end you end up making the rational decision anyway. You're just often postponing it; 3) Being rational is not often an energy intensive decision, but there are other factors (faults that are in the field of your general rational decision making, fears/lack of tuning your machinery/proneness to procrastination etc.); 4) All of these previous faults fall into the category of self-conscious behavior / betterment of your self-consciousness, which both are in the field of rationality... what's the core realization/ignition for the beginning of this process? Maybe it's that there's not much outside of rationality, and that "all you are" is a direct result of your rationality.
• bsvalley 8y ago
  Crypto currencies are a hell of a ride ;)
• deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
• countryqt30 8y ago
  * Becoming an influencer is the way to sales growth. There is no secret behind influencing. It's about trust. Tell people what you're doing today * Specialize and have a clear target audience for your influencer status * 70 % of a company's performance is attributed to market performance. 20 % to the company, and 10 % to the management. (this has been widely studied). So be in a market that is growing rapidly, but not hyped, e.g. nobody knows about it yet -- these are the hardest to find and I think I've found one.
• canterburry 8y ago
  The same the 12 months before did... That I know a lot less than I thought I do.
• csomar 8y ago
  In no particular order: - You can't travel enough. I visited 9 new countries in the last 12 months. Way too little. - Try to experience new things instead of just seeing and selfi-ing them. [ If you go to a new country, go to the rough edges of the city. Go to events but also to night clubs. Talk to people. Go with them on a trip. (Don't do crazy things and don't harm yourself. I'm not suggesting stupid behavior). ] [ If you try a new dish, try it again at another restaurant. Learn the recipe. Try to cook it ]. etc... - Push yourself. As much as you can. Don't set expectations. I've learned that expectations are what makes you burn out not hard work. - It's high time to learn a new language. I master 3 and can understand 4. I'd say you should at least speak 5 fluently and understand 8. - The reason most people are poor/struggle is because they choose to. The reason some people are poor is because they are in a transitional phase. (Barring health conditions and quantum randomness) - Money is very easy to make. But you only realize that once you master the skills/processes to make it flow.