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How will the miracle happen today?
- gostsamo 10mo ago> I am not sure I would invite a casual tourist I met to take over my apartment, and cook for him, as many have done for me. leaves a bad taste. I've helped and been helped in all kinds of situations. The sense of entitlement in this guy and the way he proudly explains how he is using people is just awful. Help is to give when you know that the gesture will have an disproportional effect for the other person and will make the world a better place. The way he presents it, he just relies on other people because he can and without giving ever back. Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't feel inspired.
- bobson381 10mo agoAgreed. There are helpers and the helped, and it is a good thing to do both when you can.
- JimmyBuckets 10mo agoThis person is being honest about how he feels about a hypothetical situation. I appreciate the humility of sharing a thought people might look down on and would be trivial to lie about. Also based on this article I would be surprised if he is not the type to show such kindness - if anything this reflection shows that such openness is not to be taken lightly, that it is special and should be appreciated as such. How wonderful then that is is so ubiquitous.
- loire280 10mo agoI think this was rhetorical hedging - the author was expressing false doubt to underscore how extraordinary the actions of his hosts were, but he didn't literally mean he wouldn't do the same for others. The tone of the rest of the piece implies he is very grateful for the kindness of strangers.
- gostsamo 10mo ago> I am having trouble seeing myself emptying my bank account to purchase a boat ticket for someone who has more money than I do. Another strange example. In the entire article he does not give one example where he is the helper or offers reason why he would help or why people should help. It is all about the taking as far as I can read. IDK, just I'm not inspired or excited.
- jimbokun 10mo agoWell we only know what he said. He doesn't present examples where he helped others.
- loire280 10mo agoThat's not the point of his piece, and spending time virtue signaling to the reader would undermine the message that this kindness is a form of grace, given freely without expectation of reciprocation.
- willparks 10mo agoI'm pretty sure the message is about the general goodness of humanity and the positivity of connection, "the better angles of our nature." As the culture gets more divided and us vs them, people are actually fundamentally good and helpful. I'm sure the people who helped him also got a positive experience out of it. It is not zero sum that he took something from them, both were positively affected by the experience.
- gostsamo 10mo ago> I learned from hitchhiking to think of this as an exchange. During the moment the stranger offers his or her goodness, the person being aided can reciprocate with degrees of humility, dependency, gratitude, surprise, trust, delight, relief, and amusement to the stranger. It takes some practice to enable this exchange when you don’t feel desperate. That's his view. Transactional and rehearsed.
- JackFr 10mo ago> the way he proudly explains how he is using people is just awful. TFA: “One might even call the art of accepting generosity a type of compassion.” Turns out he’s doing them a favor!
- JKCalhoun 10mo agoI get what you're saying. But to me he is simply being honest. If he did not wonder to himself how he would have felt about a scraggly, hippy knocking on his front door in the evening, I would have been suspect.
- eightys3v3n 10mo agoI would offer to help someone to the tune of an hour of my time or a hundred dollars to hear a story about how they are travelling without money. It wouldn't matter to me whether they used to have a job so long as they weren't claiming they would die if someone didn't help (which I didn't hear in this article).
- throw4432w56 10mo agoHe sounds like a “begpacker.” Reading this makes me think badly about the author. Taking from those less fortunate is horrible. If you are rich enough to travel to a poor country, please don’t exploit the people by taking more from them.
- ocdtrekkie 10mo agoImagine the good he could have done if he actually paid people back! He could've bought a cart of food for the family generous enough to share their last can of meat. He could have spotted a generous driver with a full tank of gas right at the end of the trip.
- ricardobeat 10mo agoThey also said they spent a total of $500 over a full year of traveling, I don't think those actions would be an option.
- runamuck 10mo ago99.9% of the people I meet want to be kind and help. You just need to "tune into that frequency." Fantastic anecdotal article that speaks to the goodness of humanity.
- esafak 10mo agoJust don't push your luck. There are a lot of people -- usually women -- who travel the world to prove the goodness of humanity and get killed by some rando along the way. Look up Pippa Bacca.
- SketchySeaBeast 10mo agoI wonder what the rate of "getting killed by some rando along the way" actually is. Sure, lots of anecdotes, and I don't really know how you'd measure it, but I'm curious how it plays out by the real numbers.
- dheera 10mo agos/killed/harassed/ and the numbers are pretty damn high at least in my circle
- SketchySeaBeast 10mo agoThe rate of being killed is pretty damn high in your circle? What is s/killed? Or is it just a harassment issue? If it's so high, why keep doing it? I'm struggling to understand the risk/reward, and what the risk actually is compared to what it's perceived to be.
- bryanlarsen 10mo agos/foo/bar/ is search & replace foo with bar. So yes, they're saying the rate of harassment is high. Even if we posit that >99% of men aren't harassers, a solo female traveler is going to encounter a lot more than 100 men, so is quite likely to be harassed.
- JR1427 10mo agoThis reminds me of a video I watch recently of a comfortably off guy who decided to try and do a long-distance cycle with just £100. He could afford not to rely on others, but instead he let people buy him food, give him a bed, etc. This didn't sit well with me. If you can pay your own way, but choose to instead let others pay for you, you're just sponging off people.
- c4wrd 10mo agoI think it's a balance. In some cases, the act of giving means much more to the giver than to the receiver, especially when they want to be a part of something larger than themselves.
- lukan 10mo agoI say it depends how he communicated it. If the other persons assumed he did not have money at all (and he was not clear about it) it is close to fraud - otherwise it is an awesome exercise in humbleness and expanding ones mind about the illusion of money. Not being dependent on it. I used to hitchhike with a very low budget, but liked my independence and feel not comfortable to be dependant on other people, if there was no one in time, I took a bus. (If there was one) But buddies I travelled with also took the no money approach serious (despite also having a bank account somewhere). Partly ideological, partly spiritual motivations. Not being dependant on money. It is freeing.
- f1shy 10mo ago> But buddies I travelled with took the no money approach serious (despite also having a bank account somewhere). Partly ideological, partly spiritual motivations. Not being dependant on money. It is freeing. I knew a ridiculous rich guy, who said the parents: “I do not want money from you, I will manage alone” He went to another city (where I met him) and he always bragged about how “liberating” it was, and how grown up he was, and he knew what is like to be poor, because he was poor… (1) In my opinion he was full of shit and full of himself. It remind me about the film Inside Man, the opening scene features mastermind Dalton Russell (Clive Owen) in a prison cell, he say something like “being in a cell is not being in prison”. Is absolutely not the same being poor, in contrast to having money and not using it as part of a kind of game. (1) let me give me more context: I saw him telling other people, who were actually poor and were struggling to eat, and giving lessons of life to them, explaining how being poor is an “opportunity“. It was a miracle he conserved all teeth that day.
- BrokenCogs 10mo agoSounds like someone who takes and does not give
- dheera 10mo agoExactly. People taking advantage of other peoples' kindness systematically and at scale is the reason why people are less kind today.
- oasisbob 10mo agoNot sure I agree, the systematicness can be cultural as well. In my area there's a bunch of Islands with ferry service, but the ferry terminals are often remotely located on these islands, away from lodging and population centers. It's fairly common to see people hitchhiking their way to hop off the islands. Every time I've chosen to do it, I'm still filled with the same sense of gratitude Kevin Kelly describes. The folks picking me up always feel like they're experiencing the sense of levity and kindness, not habituality and scorn.
- convolvatron 10mo agopeople getting increasingly hung up on enforcing reciprocity is just as likely a culprit
- dheera 10mo agoI wasn't trying to enforce reciprocity. I'm just saying that if you don't need help you shouldn't be asking for it from strangers. If you have a job and income you can afford transportation. Behaving like a broke person when you are not is taking advantage of other people, and taking limited kindness resources away from people who actually need help.
- oasisbob 10mo agoPerhaps kindness isn't a zero-sum game
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- scotty79 10mo ago> We are at the receiving end of a huge gift simply by being alive. I always perceived it completely opposite. Even as a few years old child.
- gbjw 10mo agoYou think it's a curse to be alive?
- buellerbueller 10mo agoPersonally, I think it is whichever of these you perceive it to be.
- gbjw 10mo agoStrange "curse" if it can be rid of with some perspective change.
- tefkah 10mo agoWhat perspective change? Your brains splattered on the wall? While I am also grateful to be alive, I don't think it's that hard to imagine other people being in situations where they feel deeply unhappy about being born, and that that feeling really can't be dispelled with a simple "perspective change", unless you mean suicide.
- scotty79 10mo agoIt doesn't even need to be situations, just a particular flavor of brain chemistry.
- monktastic1 10mo agoI think you're misreading the comment you're responding to. Its parent comment said that life can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you choose to look. They responded by asking whether the word "curse" is appropriate if it can be changed based only on perspective.
- sweetheart 10mo agoWhat an amazing blog post. Such a treat to have read this. Thanks for sharing.
- bpt3 10mo agoIf the world was filled with people with KK's attitude, humanity would have died off a very long time ago.
- buellerbueller 10mo agoConversely, if the world was filled with people with this attitude, humanity would be living in a stable, post-scarcity situation from a very long time ago.
- bpt3 10mo agoNo, because everyone would be waiting around to be helped rather than producing the abundance required for a post-scarcity society (which can never actually exist by the way). You can't eat or sleep in gratitude, especially from people who have no intent of repaying your favors. Edit: To be clear, I was talking about the author in my comment above.
- JKCalhoun 10mo agoI disagree. The world is in fact filled with people with this attitude. And it is likely why we're still here at all. "…it is one of high importance to all those animals which aid and defend one another, it will have been increased through natural selection; for those communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring." —Charles Darwin (the Ascent of Man)
- bpt3 10mo agoYou realize I'm talking about the author (KK), not the people he was basically grifting? I have edited my comment to make it more clear.
- JKCalhoun 10mo agoI did not realize, thanks for the clarification. I think you're leaning a little too hard on Kevin though. Grifting is putting a bit of a fine point on it.
- pupppet 10mo agoJust want to say I love this vintage internet blog style.
- projektfu 10mo agoThe text is ridiculously small. I had to zoom in to where it no longer fit in a full-screen window just to read it comfortably.
- kayo_20211030 10mo agoLoved this piece. Kindness and gratitude as a kind of symmetry. I have to work on both of those, I'm afraid. I suppose we all do: but, they seem admirable goals.
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- jimbokun 10mo ago> Although we don’t deserve it, and have done nothing to merit it, we have been offered a glorious ride on this planet, if only we accept it. This is the core message of Christianity. Undeserved Grace. I will also say though, I find it annoying this guy so easily received gifts from those least able to afford them, and then admits he is not willing to be so generous himself. Did he learn nothing from their example?
- jptlnk 10mo agoIf I may, I think that's actually part of the point, and (at least for me) part of the lesson. I read him as saying that part of the miracle to him is that he has experienced something that makes him realize that it's a lot harder than it sounds to be loving and kind with no (or few) conditions, and to open your home and life to a stranger. For me, a lesson of this piece is actually the juxtaposition of the relative ease of -accepting- help and the strange difficulty of -offering- help. It's worth reflecting on, and imo much more relatable. I'm reminded of a friend who talks about primary and secondary wants. He wants to eat a burger, but he wants to want to eat a salad. Maybe KK wants to want to help people, and the challenge for him is connecting the dots.
- magicalist 10mo ago> Maybe KK wants to want to help people, and the challenge for him is connecting the dots. Maybe he could try instead of waiting for someone to help him do it?
- eduction 10mo agoThe act of writing something like this can be a way of helping yourself do it. I'm not sure that's his intent, or not, but I like the idea of writing at an intermediate stage. Should he wait until his behavior is perfect before sharing his experience? If so it might never get written. There is a generosity in talking about your own flaws, it can help people who are working through their own flaws as well. Paul Graham is among those who have written about how putting thoughts into words tends to change those thoughts: "You can know a great deal about something without writing about it. Can you ever know so much that you wouldn't learn more from trying to explain what you know? I don't think so." https://paulgraham.com/words.html https://paulgraham.com/words.html
- rachel-ftw 10mo agoStories like this always feel a little bittersweet. It’s beautiful, but women would be in potential danger in situations like these. And I say that as someone who has spent years the world traveling alone and isn’t afraid of humanity and agrees that the kindness of people is one of the most precious and Hope-building things in the world.
- ramesh31 10mo ago[flagged]
- projektfu 10mo agoI spent a while in the couchsurfing community. It was probably about as safe for women as having a job or being in a university. Now, I recognize that CS was more specific than seeking random acts of kindness on the daily, but a big part of what makes it work is that the vast majority of men aren't looking to assault women and will not stand for it, either. I met a woman once, who was working as a waitress. She said she was a hobo before this job, but she had a daughter, and while she longs for the hobo life, she knows it's not right for a young kid. Again, bad things happen, I am sure there are stories. If you expect to find a situation for women where there is no risk, best of luck to you.
- Fiveplus 10mo agoI couldn't help but focus on the vicarious adventure aspect Kelly mentions which was the "payment" he offered drivers in exchange for the ride. This is a mechanism that has largely been deprecated by the modern attention economy. In the era of hitchhiking, the bandwidth for novelty was low. A driver on a long commute had no podcasts, no Spotify or audiobooks. A stranger with a story was high value. The transaction was something like = I provide logistics and you provide content; like the story of your cross-country bike trip. Today, we have near infinite content in our pockets. The marginal utility of a stranger's story has plummeted because the competition is Joe Rogan or an endless algorithmic feed. We have largely replaced the P2P protocol of kindness with a sort of centralized platform of service. We stripped out the human latency and the requirement for social reciprocity and replaced it with currency and star ratings. It makes me surreal to think about this.
- dheera 10mo ago> replaced it with currency and star ratings In addition, the socioeconomic gaps are wider. So much so that the software engineer rushing to their 10am meeting doesn't want your $50. The Uber driver does, though.
- qmr 10mo agoThere is no such thing as a "software engineer ".
- JKCalhoun 10mo agoI've seen it work the other way: some evangelical Christians picked me and friend up in Alaska and spent the whole ride proselytizing, ha ha.
- dpc050505 10mo agoI got picked up by a born again christian women hitch-hiking in the interior of British Columbia. She was telling us about smoking pot with her friends at a retirement home. Good times
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- thunderbong 10mo agoThat was wonderful writing. As we go through the daily grind of life, we forget how privileged we are to be alive. I found the following two paragraphs truly incredible. > All of us begin in the same place. Whether sinner or saint, we are not owed our life. Our existence is an unnecessary extravagance, a wild gesture, an unearned gift. Not just at birth. The eternal surprise is being funneled to us daily, hourly, minute by minute, every second. As you read these words, you are rinsed with the gift of time. Yet, we are terrible recipients. We are no good at being helpless, humble, or indebted. Being needy is not celebrated on day-time TV shows, or in self-help books. We make lousy kindees. > I’ve slowly changed my mind about spiritual faith. I once thought it was chiefly about believing in an unseen reality; that it had a lot in common with hope. But after many years of examining the lives of the people whose spiritual character I most respect, I’ve come to see that their faith rests on gratitude, rather than hope. The beings I admire exude a sense of knowing they are indebted, of resting upon a state thankfulness. They recognize they are at the receiving end of an ongoing lucky ticket called being alive. When the truly faithful worry, it’s not about doubt (which they have); it’s about how they might not maximize the tremendous gift given them. How they might be ungrateful by squandering their ride. The faithful I admire are not certain about much except this: that this state of being embodied, inflated with life, brimming with possibilities, is so over-the-top unlikely, so extravagant, so unconditional, so far out beyond physical entropy, that is it indistinguishable from love. And most amazing of all, like my hitchhiking rides, this love gift is an extravagant gesture you can count on. This is the meta-miracle: that the miracle of gifts is so dependable. No matter how bad the weather, soiled the past, broken the heart, hellish the war – all that is behind the universe is conspiring to help you – if you will let it.
- magicalist 10mo ago> I’d like to think that I would without hesitation drive far out of my way to bring a sick traveler to the hospital (in the Philippines), but I am having trouble seeing myself emptying my bank account to purchase a boat ticket for someone who has more money than I do. And if I were a cold drink seller in Oman, I would definitely not give cold drinks away for free just because the recipient was a guest in my poor country. But those kind of illogical blessings happen when you are open to a gift.
- fwipsy 10mo agoI'm trying to square this guy's experience with all of the homeless people who don't seem nearly so lucky. Or perhaps they are being helped and supported and I don't see it? I agree with others here that the notion of relying on others so completely makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm a burden. But I think that's part of what the author intends to draw attention to. Wouldn't a world where everyone freely supports each other, even if it's not needed, be a more pleasant place, and a safer place, than one where everyone looks out for themselves? Is a community where each member is only kind to other members who can reciprocate really kind, or just cooperative? Each act of kindness was given freely, and I assume the more extravagant examples were unasked. When you give something to others, you gain something yourself. As long as he's not misrepresenting his situation (e.g. claiming to be a victim or refugee) I don't think he's really doing something wrong - just something that goes against highly competitive big-city western values, which neither he nor the givers seem to share.
- supern0va 10mo ago>I'm trying to square this guy's experience with all of the homeless people who don't seem nearly so lucky. Or perhaps they are being helped and supported and I don't see it? I get that, but I do witness a lot of compassion and help directed to homeless folks. However, even if they're regularly gifted by strangers, it's likely not enough to materially change their situation. I would suggest that the staggering efficacy of panhandling does demonstrate how remarkably willing strangers are willing to help a rough looking homeless person on a street. And beyond that, there are a lot of invisible homeless (the ones not struggling with mental health or drug issues) that remain off the streets because people in their community will give them a few days on a couch here or there, or help fix their car, give them a place to park a trailer, etc. In my neighborhood, there's a homeless man that lives in a camper trailer in the back yard of some neighbors. They just met him one day and offered him a stable piece of land to be and help him out as they can. He comes around asking us neighbors for lawn care work and such to earn some money, which is how I learned about the situation.
- lukeschlather 10mo ago> I get that, but I do witness a lot of compassion and help directed to homeless folks. However, even if they're regularly gifted by strangers, it's likely not enough to materially change their situation. When I've looked at the data, the majority of homeless people have been homeless less than 12 months. This means that the majority of homeless people who benefit from support will use it to get out of that situation quickly. And for the most part, if you give help it will be immediately and materially useful.
- JKCalhoun 10mo agoI did the hitchhiking thing in my 20's. Up to Alaska and back. I know what he describes. I wish everyone could have some experience like this. Because, like Kevin, I also have a positive view about strangers, about my fellow humans. And I have met a lot of people (friends, coworkers) where I recognize in them a fearfulness of the world. And I used to be like that too. It really is a different and a wonderful world I think when you lose your fear of it.
- lotsofpulp 10mo agoFrom what I have heard, women in their 20s have a materially higher probability of experiencing the opposite.
- throw4432w56 10mo agoAnd people of color.
- Noaidi 10mo agoWould you have a positive view about me, a homeless older man with schizoacffective disorder? Not looking for an answer, I just wan that in your head.
- animal_spirits 10mo agoI think the ending is worth reading to; to me this was not an essay showcasing a travel philosophy of reliance on others, but rather to express an easy to dismiss notion that you are not alone, and there are people that can and will look out for you.
- temp0826 10mo agoI guess I've been struggling incorrectly.
- jepj57 10mo agoBeautiful story. One Christmas Eve I ( with my kids in the car) picked up a hitchiker. His name was Christian, and he was headed to our church. I went out of my way, and dropped him off in the parking lot. I felt blessed to have helped him.
- OfficialTurkey 10mo agoI've been lucky enough to have a couple big adventures in my life, including living in China for a while as a teenager and later hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (from Mexico to Canada). This has been exactly my experience. On the PCT, in Mount Shasta while my friends and I were waiting to be seated at Black Bear Diner, an older gentleman came up and asked us about the hike. After talking for five minutes he told us he wanted to buy us breakfast and handed me a 100 dollar bill. I have dozens of such stories -- it was always easy to find a hitch into and out of town and often I would be offered a room to stay in. It's hard to describe but when you're an a quest, big or small, people just really want to help. Over the course of the trail I came to agree with the author: these people were doing me a kindness, yes, but I was also paying with experience, stories, levity. I agree with the other commenters that one can't always be a kindee. Next time you're driving up the west coast and see a dirty hike with a dirty pack, pick them up :^)
- Noaidi 10mo agoThis world today is so cruel, no one cares for their own life or the life of others. I am mentally ill and homeless. Why? Why do all of you let this happen? Why does Kevin Kelly let this happen? He is am optimist only because he has not seen reality. Passages like the following are telling someone like me, the man with nothing, to help or else I will get no help? Just accept that no one has helped me for six years even though I do help others? And worse yet, to help rich people like him? "Receiving help on the road is a spiritual event triggered by a traveler who surrenders his or her fate to the eternal Good. It’s a move away from whether we will be helped, to how: how will the miracle unfold today? In what novel manner will Good reveal itself? Who will the universe send today to carry away my gift of trust and helplessness?" That is just the same "power of positivity" wrapped up in new writing. Because no one here will rent me an apartment for 1/3 of my disability income. I have surrendered to my fate more than one. Maybe I did not do it right? Can you tell me how to do it right Mr. Kelly? "We are at the receiving end of a huge gift simply by being alive." That is easy to say when you are Kevin Kelly who seems to still have the silver spoon in his mouth. Hey Kevin, why don't you help by being more like the Christian you say you are, sell all of your belongings and help the mentally ill like Christ tells you to do? Until I see him do this, all his words are meaningless. I know I am privileged to be alive, but that privileged is abused by the rich boomers like KK (I am in my late 50's).
- yks 10mo agoWhen I read these enjoyable posts, I agree, but then the thought creeps in that the human experience is not all that bliss. Thoughts about the Russian soldiers raping Ukrainians and putting the grenade booby traps into the children toys (replace with other war experiences of your choice), or about parts of our society idolizing insecure men being cruel and inevitable murder of innocent bystanders that happens then. Of course the author had a great experience, he's a weird white American somewhere unexpected, the embodiment of a "traveler" archetype. Would that Swedish person give their car keys to a random Roma on their doorstep? Yeah no. I don't know where I'm going with this rant. "Check your privilege" screeds are overused. Being kind, on the other hand, isn't.
- munificent 10mo agoYeah, it's a good article, but the dissonance between this today and the death of Renee Good is so hard to reconcile. Certainly no miracle happened for her that day.
- siavosh 10mo agoI feel like there's something in the zeitgeist happening. I've only become aware recently of the 'gift economy' but I'm seeing more and more people post things related.
- nicbou 10mo agoDoes anyone else feel a sort of anxiety in those situations? I've been on such trips and I would rather not sleep at all than ask a stranger for help. When I'm in a position to help, I am delighted to do so, but also scared of offering. How does one get over that fear?
- Aromasin 10mo agoLike all skills; practice. Push through the fear enough times that you learn to love it. When I was in the military, we once had an exercise which consisted of our troop leaders dropping 60 of us in Edinburgh (Scotland) with nothing on our person except for a cheap film camera. We had to complete a list of challenges with different scores, that varied from "eat a free meal" to "play a hole at St Andrews golf course". We were picked up the following day (meaning we had to find a place to sleep the night) and had to debrief the group on what challenges we managed to complete with video evidence. To be honest, it completely changed my world view in a weekend. We had guys who talked their way into an airfield, miles away from where we started, and convinced a random pilot to give them a spin in his private aircraft. One group managed to get the castle guards to let them fire the daily One O'Clock Gun from the top of Edinburgh castle. Another did manage to play the first hole of St Andrews (£340 a round, and a 2 hour drive away!). We had people crash a wedding, sew up a kilt, learn to play the bagpipes; it was carnage in the best kind of way. All of that was done just by asking. At the start of the day, everyone was awkward and embarrased. By the end of day two, we all just wanted to see how much further we could take it. Turns out that sometimes all your inhibitions do is get in the way of a fun time and a great story.
- nicbou 10mo agoI have been thinking about your comment a lot today and yesterday. Thanks for sharing. At the exact same time last year I went on a short trip without a phone. I was forced to talk to people and it was a good exercise, even though I wasn’t very good at it. It led to conversations I would not have had otherwise.
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- sdellis 10mo ago"Instead of believing everyone is out to get you, you believe everyone is out to help you." Worst advice I have ever heard.
- robocat 10mo agoBeautiful and disturbing. So many people around the world are so wonderfully generous with everything, and we should celebrate that. However mooching off others is weird. It is a fine thing to graciously accept generosity. And it is a fine thing to graciously offer generosity without expectations. It gets difficult when the generous are poor if they choose to give. It can be hard to decline without being offensive. I have lived for lengths of time basically at the generosity of others (not poor, including the dole in my wealthy country) so I shouldn't fault the guy. However, I have also tried to give back, and now I'm older I also try and pay it forward. Certainly I've given >10x back to the government (I'm taxed highly in my country - and I dislike thinking about taxation as something you ever get back). His story is a simplification of the modern world. We are often given so much by our society and it can be difficult to give fairly back to society. Yet for some reason his writing recalls me of You can't win by Jack Black https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69404 https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69404 We went back to the fire and discussed breakfast. "Nothing but Java," said the bum that had the coffee. "I'll go to the farmhouse," I volunteered, "and buy something." "Nix, nix," said one; "buy nothin'," said the other, "it's you kind of cats that make it tough on us, buyin' chuck. They begin to expect money. You go up to that house," pointing to a place on a small rise, about fifteen minutes' walk, "and tell the woman you and two other kids run away from home in the city three days ago and you ain't had nothin' but a head of cabbage that fell off a farmer's wagon between youse since you left. Tell her you are on your way back home and the other two kids are down by the bridge so hungry they can't walk. On your way up there git a phony name and street number ready in case she asks you questions. She'll give you a sit-down for yourself, chances are, but bring back a 'lump' for us. You're a decent-lookin' kid; she might git worked up about your troubles and ask a lot of dam' fool questions. Cut her off. Tell her you're ashamed to be settin' there wasting time and the other boys starvin' under the bridge." Before I got to the house a couple of dogs dashed out, barking savagely. A healthy, matronly woman came out and quieted them, looking at me inquiringly. I told her myself and two boy friends, runaways from home, were hungry and I wanted some food, that I would be glad to pay her for anything she could spare, and if she would wrap it up I would hurry down to the bridge with it, where my chums were waiting. "Yes," she said kindly, "come in. I haven't much here, but maybe I can find enough." She gave me a seat outside near the kitchen door, where I waited and made friends with the dogs. In no time she came out with a large parcel, and refused the money I offered. I thanked her and went down to the bridge with my "lump." The bums had coffee boiling. We found enough tin cans to drink from and opened the parcel. It contained cold, fried chicken, cold biscuits, and half a pie. "You're a good connecter, kid; sure you didn't pay for this?" one of them said.
- ericmcer 10mo agoReally nice article, but it sort of flies in the face of all our biological imperatives. Being a good "kindee" means forgoing security, control and some safety. Constant Gratitude for just the miracle of life means forgoing the driving dissatisfaction that will push you ahead. This is the classic battle between our ancient biological impulses and the reality of modern society. Many religions try to square these: Buddhisms central focus is to "stop grasping" your desires, Christianity wants you to "surrender" and put your faith in god. And then you also have articles like this that have a vague spiritual bent but mostly preach mindfulness and gratitude as a balm to our general dissatisfaction. Do we still need constant anxiety around our safety, do we still need to feel dissatisfied with each achievement and constantly want more? Or were those just useful imperatives for an animal 50,000 years ago but useless to us today? In my personal life I have momentary success being mindful/grateful, but the bare reality is we are the product of millions of years of life being a short cruel struggle, fraught with danger. Does modern society give us the right to throw all that away and pretend we get to float around observing the beauty of the world? Or is our life supposed to be a battle?
- hahahahhaah 10mo agoIt is survival of the fittest gene A cooperating human race has been excellent for our survival.
- ericmcer 10mo agoIf cooperation is a beneficial survival trait, it would have to be because helping others so they can continue creating value for the group is better for everyone than letting them die. At some point a reward system around helping weak members of the group was conditioned into us. Viewed under that lens, the author and other travelers who live off the kindness of strangers are a kind of parasite, who exploit that reward system. They have no designs to contribute to the group once they are back on their feet, in fact they have made themselves intentionally helpless as a lifestyle.
- hahahahhaah 10mo ago
- AndrewKemendo 10mo agoCare doesn’t scale Harm scales trivially And it’s not a question of “not everything needs to scale” If there’s anything that needs to scale its care and there are thermodynamic limits to that because singular individuals need magnitudes more care than any specific individual can provide For example I had to go to the emergency room last night and the number of people who were involved in my care was at least 7 people So let’s say you have millions of individuals with zero care and support networks who need more than a single individual can care for them That means you need some multiple of individuals who have access energetic capacity to care for all of the individuals who do not have support or care structures for the ability to do it individually The fact of the matter is of the 8 billion people who live on the planet, there does not exist another 16 billion people who are servicing them to make sure that they have the care that they need But thermodynamics requires those 16 billion excess people to provide inputs to care for the 8 billion Turchin describes this as elite overproduction theory. And I’m not saying it is correct and I’m certainly not saying it’s normative, but I do believe that there is a level of descriptiveness here that makes the mathematics of “care” impossible to solve with the atomic unit of human.
- roughly 10mo agoWhat's interesting about this post is that it would be completely unsurprising to most people in most parts of the world, as well as most people here 100 years ago. The discomfort so many people in this thread feel with receiving kindness and the devaluing of the gift of companionship, gratitude, and a good story is a testament to how far off human norms our society is these days. I struggle with this a lot myself - I've had to overcome deep feelings of inadequacy and insecurity because I never valued what I offered people just by being present and because I always felt like I had to "square the books" - that every interaction or relationship was an exchange that needed to square its ledgers. The best thing for my mental health has been to become comfortable just being with people and accepting their continued presence and return to my company as something that doesn't require an exchange - that human companionship and kindness are things we enjoy as people, not services to be itemized and accounted for. One interesting note on this is that it's not just an "old world" phenomenon - if you look at many old farmhouses across the midwest, they've got a separate covered section that's accessible from outside the house - the assumption was that travelers passing by could and would spend the night there, and often the owners would have supplies of oatcakes or other durable foodstuffs for travelers, because everyone who traveled needed somewhere to stay or something to eat at some point, and reciprocity could be assumed when the homeowner traveled themselves in the future.
- throw4432w56 10mo agoIs that really true? Would a black man be able to receive this type of kindness 100 years ago?
- roughly 10mo agoOutside of America, sure.
- projektfu 10mo agoSo, 1926? My feeling is: probably, from some white people. And, these areas had non-white people. The GP said Midwest, so we can think of the region roughly from Indiana to Nebraska, and North to the border. While there were "sundown towns" in those areas, where racists banded together to keep black people out of the town after dark, there were also people outside those towns with diverse beliefs and attitudes towards black people. In that region, the harshest laws regarding race were probably in Missouri. In any event, a black man was probably at greater risk than a white man of suffering an attack by a stranger, but I would expect there also would be people of all races willing to extend hospitality.
- eightys3v3n 10mo agoIt seems some commenters feel the author was taking advantage of all those people who helped them. I disagree. I think they are missing a large part of the situation through lack of experience, a selfish focus, or some other different perspective I don't understand. I very much doubt that any of the people who helped him along his travels thought he was in dire straights and needed the resources more than they did (which might be fraud if he had lots of resources and refused to use them in favour of lying to others to take their resources). I don't think someone who picks up a hitch hiker does so because they think the other person will die if they don't so it's worth the driver being taken advantage of. I would be willing to share resources if someone knocked on my door and asked to camp in my backyar; for pretty much nothing but the expectation of mutual respect between myself, them, and the rest of society. Though I would also offer a meal for the chance to hear about what they were doing and why. No part of that situation involves me thinking they Need my backyard or Need to be fed to live. In fact, I would do it thinking they left a job and a normal life and chose the journey they're on; my assumption would be that when they were finished they would move back to a more regular life. Where I would have a problem is if the person seemed clearly intent on living like that their whole life; taking without giving. So in a way, my expectation is that the person is giving back in the experiences and stories they share with others, in the knowledge and experience they take back into a regular life; I will happily contribute to that. I don't think this changes regardless of how much someone has so I don't think it matters if someone from Canada travels Africa for example. I don't see any reason to believe he was lying to people to make them feel sorry for him. Another aspect is that often he was indirectly selecting for people who were willing to share resources. By hitch hiking one is excluding anyone who feels they and society get no value from this person. One is excluding anyone who feels they would be taken advantage of by helping a hitch hiker. Those kinds of people just don't stop the car. Therefore anyone who helped him was obviously willing to do so and felt they would benefit more than what they expended to help.
- patrickmay 10mo agoI think the lesson to take from this is "Who's miracle can I be today?"
- nuancebydefault 10mo ago> one might even call the act of accepting generosity a type of compassion. The compassion of being kinded. When reading this, I can suddenly relate. There's a colleage who always smiles but I know she's hurt inside. Sometimes in a quiet moment I try to comfort her with careful listening, kind words and genuine advice. She's very receptive and thankful to this act of kindness and I find it a pleasure to be kind to her. The reward is so high that it almost feels compassionate towards me.
- shakil 10mo agoLots of interesting things in this miraculous story, but I can assure you none of these miracles would happen without the two words completely left out of the article: white privilege
- charcircuit 10mo agoTake that as a lesson for the benefits of building a great reputation for your race to bless your decendents that even in foriegn lands your kind are respected. I do think it is a stretch to say that such a reputation was responsible for every single act of kindness he received.
- mpin3247 10mo agowhite man experience
- voxleone 10mo agoRadical openness can slide into naïveté if it ignores power, incentives, and bad actors. “Be vulnerable and good things will happen” is only true in constrained contexts, where norms, reciprocity, and consequences exist. Outside those, vulnerability can absolutely be exploited. Ina perfect world openness is not surrender; humility is not passivity; trust is not indiscriminate access.
- whackernews 10mo agoYour comment makes me think about my situation. I am an open person that likes to try to make strangers laugh and people often are comfortable striking up conversations and opening up to me. Recently I was essentially conned by a guy who I thought was being friendly but he ended up walking off with my phone and PIN (that I’m guessing he saw me enter earlier) and emptied my bank account. This was my payment for being open and obviously too trusting of strangers. It seems more recently whenever I spend time out in public all I see are people on their phones, people driving around not paying attention, no one doing anything with any actual care and I seem to keep literally stepping in other peoples dog shit. I now have quite a negative view of the general public and I tend to think they are mostly morons that don’t give a fuck about anybody or anything but themselves. I don’t actually want to be like this. I liked the authors idea of “pronoia” but I don’t see any way there for me. I’d say I’m still a positive and open person really but inside I hold quite a bit of hate for people in general.
- nuancebydefault 10mo agoHe could empty your bank account with just one pin? Was it not traced where the money went?
- brushfoot 10mo agoIn summary, a wealthy westerner travels the world, asking the poor for favors. He eventually comes to believe that enlightened spirituality rests primarily on gratitude. (One can't imagine why.) He then proceeds to passive-aggressively browbeat readers who aren't as grateful as he is for the "lucky ticket called being alive." Has it occurred to him that perhaps it was his ticket that was lucky? It certainly seems luckier than that of the Filipino family who opened their "last can of tinned meat" to feed him, a volitional vagabond. If there's anything worth reading here, it's the reminder that altruism is more prevalent than individualists sometimes expect. The rest is frankly stomach-turning.
- kashyapc 10mo agoYeah, while the article is beautifully and poetically written (he's a reputed magazine editor after all), it comes across naive to extrapolate his good fortune to "you just have to be open enough to let the miracle happen to you". (I know, I'm simplifying here a bit.) Obviously, there's some truth to it, but there are many unspoken variables that worked in his favor that he doesn't bother to acknowledge them. Some other comments also touched on it. I'm not being cynical here. I myself have had incredibly good fortune in experiencing the kindness of strangers, both in the East and the West, and I do my best to reciprocate. But I'm acutely aware of how invisible factors that are not in my control helped facilitate some of the good fortune that came my way. I can't merrily attribute it all to my own "openness to experience"! KK inhales his own good fortune too deeply.
- cal_dent 10mo agoMore so about this thread than the post, but I think it's a shame that so many immediately go to the edge cases of safety concerns (parricularly for women) or strangers with difficult mental illnesses. I don't want to belittle or dismiss those concerns, as they do exist, but letting that limit potential possibilities feels like a unnecessarily limited life. Granted I'm lucky enough that in my travels and general life nothing awful has happened to me but opening yourself to your fellow peers on this tiny planet is such a core part of existence that we should find ways of making this happen. It doesn't need to be picking up hitchhikers, they're millions of relatively risk free interactions out there. Dive in.
- throw4432w56 10mo agoExcept it’s not an edge case. As a person of color, I can tell you that my everyday life experiences are gonna be vastly different. These are not edge cases, but our every day, real life experiences.
- deleted 10mo ago[deleted]
- jp57 10mo agoOkay, I will take the contrarian position. As I read this I kept waiting for the part where he somehow repays all the hospitality he has received, if not directly to those who gave it, then forward, somehow. Instead, all I got was new-agey rationalization. To solicit a gift from a stranger takes a certain state of openness. If you are lost or ill, this is easy, but most days you are neither, so embracing extreme generosity takes some preparation. I learned from hitchhiking to think of this as an exchange. During the moment the stranger offers his or her goodness, the person being aided can reciprocate with degrees of humility, dependency, gratitude, surprise, trust, delight, relief, and amusement to the stranger. It takes some practice to enable this exchange when you don’t feel desperate. Ironically, you are less inclined to be ready for the gift when you are feeling whole, full, complete, and independent! The things he lists are not reciprocation. The paragraph strikes me as a long-winded way of saying, "It takes a special mindset to beg from others when you're not actually needy." Indeed it does. One might even call the art of accepting generosity a type of compassion. The compassion of being kinded. Not only does he rationalize a life of asking for and taking from others, even the very poor, without any material reciprocation, but even admits that he is not sure he would have done the same for another person in his position. When the miracle flows, it flows both ways. No. The attitude of humility and gratitude with which one is obliged to receive another's charity is not itself a repayment. The social contract around this kind of hospitality is that everyone gives and receives materially; if you are taking now because you have nothing to give, then the expectation is that you will give to someone else later, not simply walk the earth taking and taking. It's a prisoner's dilemma, and we only all benefit if we all cooperate. Calling a person who takes but never gives back in a material way a "kindee" is just sanctifying the defector. (EDIT: please note that I'm not advocating against offering hospitality, only against taking it with an attitude that you will neither repay it nor pay it forward, because just the act of accepting it is somehow holy.)
- arjie 10mo agoBefore I quit riding my motorcycle, I recalled one important thing: all the way from the Oakland Hills to downtown San Francisco, many (I dare say 'most') drivers would step their cars to the edges of their lanes to make room for me to lane-split. I know there are lots of people who use their phones will driving, but this was clearly intentional, and a large number of people would do it. I was riding a Ducati but in a modern car you won't hear me. So that means that this large number of people were: * checking their mirrors * deciding to make room for me You don't have to make room for me. I can lane split with a car in the center of its lane and I can slow and stop if its close to this side. But people would do it. It's just an everyday kindness - a small measure of friendly consideration and I appreciated that.
- ta2112 10mo agoI like moving over for motorcycles. It's a little thing, but costs me nothing and is totally available as a recognition. Maybe it's like saying, "I see you." I had wondered if it was helpful. Now that you told me it's not necessary, I guess I'll continue doing it anyways.
- arjie 10mo agoI think I may have given the wrong impression: I definitely appreciated it. When I said it's not necessary, I was distinguishing the act from legal acts that are necessary. For instance: a car waiting for me to take my turn at a stop sign cannot be evidence of the driver "showing consideration" since even the inconsiderate may yet prioritize adhering to a legal requirement. Making it easier for me to lane-split on the other hand is not required of the driver. If they are doing it, they are doing so entirely optionally and consequently it is evidence of their being considerate. When lane-splitting I appreciated the move over for the following reasons: * I know you can see me * It is more comfortable with more space * I know you are willing to look out for other motorists => if a thing happens unexpectedly right in front, the spot I'm in next to you is safer than standard.
- rconti 10mo agoRelated; when I'm driving my car, and I see a bicyclist riding on the shoulder, I like to leave tons of room as I pass (when I can). "Look at me! I'm a nice considerate guy! I like cyclists! I'm leaving tons of space! I respect your safety!" On the flip side, when _I'm_ the one on the bicycle, and some car goes half out of the lane to pass me, I think "geez, you don't need to give me 20 feet of space, I'm not some drunk idiot, I can ride my bike in a straight line!"
- dannyobrien 10mo agoFor those in the thread worrying that KK may have been mooching off people, and would not reciprocate: many years ago, I opened up our back yard for people who wanted to come to O'Reilly's Emerging Tech conference, but could not afford the sky-high hotel prices in Silicon Valley (this was before AirBnB or couchsurfing). I was surprised when Kevin Kelly appeared. He'd been my (very distant) boss at Wired, was a published author of one of my favorite books, a very well-known figure and a smiling but disarmingly calm manner. He sat and amicably talked for hours with a yard full of people, many of whom have become some of my closet friends. Then, as the evening closed, he asked if he could sleep in my yard too. Others had brought tents, and burning men structures, and it had begun to rain. Kevin pulled out a camping sleeping bag from nowhere, struck out, and I saw him later, in the soaking, muddy garden, quietly curled up under someone's geodesic dome structure. Decades later, after Covid, I mailed him out of the blue, and asked him for advice. He immediately remembered me, invited me to his home, and talked to me, again, for an hour or so, about AI, optimism, and how to change the world. To be frank, I never emailed him thank you, and I still feel guilty about that, but now I feel like it was never needed or asked for. I may mail him anyway. Maybe there's a miracle or two still left in the day.
- gcanyon 10mo agoI see others expressing this point, but I'll add my two cents: this essay really bothered me. 1. The writer describes hitchhiking to work every day, presumably for months or years. He doesn't describe in any way how he paid back that kindness, either to the people he rode with directly, or just by paying it forward. 2. The writer describes traveling in Asia for 8 years, and many of the instances of kindness he describe imply very strongly that he intentionally put himself at risk, where others were faced with the choice to help him or let him suffer consequences. It's one thing to get caught in a rip current and need assistance; it's another entirely to swim out past where you are safe, and then wait for someone to rescue you -- and to do that repeatedly for eight years. Further, it is obvious from the language used that he was traveling rough by choice, with the privilege and economic security of his background, and yet repeatedly accepting -- I would argue demanding -- the help of people from a poorer background than himself. He was cosplaying poverty and repeatedly being assisted by people living it for real. 3. The backyard idea seems similarly pushy. He says he was never turned away, not once. So he believes that no one, given an actual free choice, would rather not have a stranger camp in their backyard. He ignores the possibility that people would feel uncomfortable about rejecting someone presenting as having no place to stay, and rather believes that everyone he asked woke up that day thinking about how happy they'd be to do a favor for a stranger. And he couches the whole process as him doing them a favor. 4. He lists multiple instances where people less well-off than him went to great lengths to help him, without ever thinking about why they might feel obligated, and through it all admitting that not only doesn't he engage in such kindness himself, he can't imagine that he would. 5. And through it all he characterizes what he very nearly describes as him pushing himself on people as "willingness to be helped" -- as some sort of saintliness. And of course each of these people only saw him once, for a short while. Reading this essay we see how it is a pattern: how he is essentially a traveling con man, moving from mark to mark, letting each of them believe that he just happens to need help this one time, so they put good out into the universe. But in reality he is taking, taking, taking, abusing the world's willingness to help -- if everyone did what he did, the world would swiftly become a meaner, poorer place.
- throw4432w56 10mo agoHe basically thinks he’s the main character, and other people around him are NPCs.
- _--__--__ 10mo agoThis is a mindset that is intentionally cultivated in Jesuit novices to the priesthood in what they call the "pilgrimage experiment": each is given $50 and a bus ticket in order to make a trip to a specific/meaningful destination while giving and receiving aid in whatever opportunities arise. Example anecdote: https://www.jesuitscentralsouthern.org/stories/judge-for-yourself-a-novice-pilgrimage-experience/ https://www.jesuitscentralsouthern.org/stories/judge-for-you...
- hliyan 10mo agoI'm from Sri Lanka. One incident I always remember is how the front wheels of my car went into a ditch and got completely stuck while trying to pull out of a shopfront parking lot. I was fairly new to driving and was at a complete loss as to what to do next. Within seconds, a crowd of men gathered, some from the bus stop nearby, others from the restaurant in front of the parking spot. "Get back in and reverse when we tell you", said one person. Then a group of about 5 men literally lifted the front of my car and placed the wheels back on terra firma. I reversed out of the ditch, parked the car and got out to thank them, but they had dispersed as rapidly as they had assembled. I always thought my people a bit brusque in social interactions -- we don't greet shopkeepers or supermarket cashiers; we don't smile randomly at each other; we don't often say thank you. But I suppose when it matters, people are more willing to get involved and roll up their sleeves to help.
- awesome_dude 10mo agoI kind of struggled reading this, gratitude for the kindness offered to the author was genuinely good reading, but I also had the overwhelming feeling of, I don't know the bane of the emotion, but.. taking advantage of their kindness felt rude. I know that there was an exchange, the author's company in return for the accommodation, and that may be true, just, I don't know, it was hard to reconcile. FTR I personally am the same generation as the author, and also silent time hitchhiking, and "paying it forward" by proving rides and accommodation to others.
- lutusp 10mo agoI'm very happy to see this account of what once passed for normal life. It serves as a reminder that doomscrolling, however addicting it may be, is not reality. During my time hitchhiking across the lower 48 U.S. states (in the 1960s), I only had to learn one rule -- smile. All the rest followed from that.
- Tempatio 10mo agoBeautiful article. This is kind of the antidote to the more cynical side of things that you see in posts such as, say, Meditations On Moloch (neither is wrong, I think, but there is more to humanity than either alone).
- eternauta3k 10mo agoI don't think Moloch means there are no random acts of kindness (not sure if that's what you meant).
- utopiah 10mo agoThere was a post recently on a social network complaining how so many people have a side hustle, typically social media. Basically I think the Uberization of passions, or even just interests, with platforms like Ubers but also Etsy and finally TikTok (because even an act itself, without even a product or service at the end) allowing the monetization of anything is what killed the expectation of genuinely free act of kindness. Capitalism destroy social links by turning everything, literally everything, from externalities to sources of capital. We are becoming sociopath by embracing such a system. The few at the top clearly demonstrate that.
- rithwiksai 10mo ago[dead]
- rithwiksai 10mo agoa friend of mine had written a bit about kindness and tried to jot a few points about it. worth a read. I believe this also sits well with what the author is trying to convey https://open.substack.com/pub/karthiksama221505/p/kindness-takes-courage https://open.substack.com/pub/karthiksama221505/p/kindness-t...
- phtrivier 10mo agoI was waiting for the moment when the author finds occasion to reciprocate, but then he explicitly says he does not thing he would do this. That's brutally honest, but really, isn't the lesson from his whole trip that either : - yes, he would reciprocate, because that's human nature, and it is why the "miracle" keep happening - no, he would not reciprocate, and how can he not be ashamed of that, or his upbringing, or his society, etc... ? And what is different in the life's of the people who did help him ? "Elle est a toi cette chanson, toi l'auvergnat qui sans façon..."
- danparsonson 10mo agoI'm gonna diverge a bit from the overall mood here a bit, and say that I think the premise of this is trash. His thesis seems broadly to be that by accepting gifts whenever they're offered, he is making the world a better place - opening himself up to kindness somehow encourages kindness in others. This is nonsense and totally backwards. What he's doing is just soaking up a whole world of goodwill and generosity, and giving basically nothing in return. "Paying it forward" is a chain - people do nice things for each other in the hope that the recipients of that goodwill will provide similar generosity to others in the future and together we make the world better for all of us. It's socialised good will - creating a rising tide that lifts all of our boats. The author of this piece has instead acted as a kind of capitalist, moving into a space with abundant resources (i.e. the generosity of others), and harvesting as much as he can, wondering at how much resource there is available for him to take, marvelling that others leave it there for him when he would likely not do the same, and patting himself on the back for taking it so that more can flow into the space. It's somewhat akin to high frequency traders claiming that they benefit markets by providing liquidity. Maybe we should all just follow his example, and then none of us would have anything left to give each other. Narcissistic nonsense.
- jeffbee 10mo agoI think the article is a bit of a Rorschach diagram that tells us about each reader's perspective and relatively less about the author. If you're a pessimist this article is repulsive. Woowoo spiritualists will see it as an affirmation of their universal belief. Me? I agree with your take. I read it as a long-form boomer "#blessed". To a modern reader it makes the author, who had these experiences during a time of great slack and abundance, seem clueless.
- jonnybgood 10mo agoYes, he’s a begpacker. Asia is almost always a target. It’s so common that it earned its own moniker. I’ve seen my share of them in South Korea and Japan. They are very much disliked by those who are aware of what they’re doing.
- TimByte 10mo agoThe hitchhiking framing is powerful because it strips things down to trust and openness
- Sxubas 10mo agoI think this explains something of our human nature that we would not even know we have: It is coded within us to help people in need as we can very well be there at any future moment. Just think about it, we are a social species and without this type of behaviors it makes no sense for individuals to stay together. It is a strategy of our genes to keep successfully replicating. But even so, I agree with the author there is something really spiritual about this: deeply contradictory but firmly rooted in our nature.
- shruubi 10mo agoI'm willing to admit I may be the odd one out here, but I find this entire article to paint the author as self-entitled and manipulative. > One might even call the art of accepting generosity a type of compassion. People may feel good about themselves after performing an act of kindness, but this sentence makes it sound like the author is gifting them the opportunity to go out of their way to do things for him. And all of these stories of wandering around Asia for eight years sound more like he deliberately put himself in positions to guilt people who culturally feel obligated towards generosity. These don't read like stories of kindness to me, but someone bragging about all the people he manipulated, and then recycled all these stories of manipulation into some ridiculous idea that he is the truly compassionate and kind person because he is accepting their kindness.
- TomMasz 10mo agoI can't help but feel the world Kelly is talking about here is long gone, and the quality of "miracles" has declined significantly. Or maybe I'm just old.
- ca98am79 10mo agoMy father died on Friday and for some reason I found myself in tears while reading this. I wasn't sure why, at first, but I think I was sad because, after my father died, my world felt smaller. It seemed that someone who loved and cared for me my whole life was gone, and the world was filled with strangers. But reading this helped me to realize that strangers care and love me for no reason - just because I am another human being - and they want to help. And it makes me realize the world is bigger than I initially thought.