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I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. Most people eventually become disillusioned with work enough that they reevaluate what matte

by madrox 2y ago

I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. Most people eventually become disillusioned with work enough that they reevaluate what matters to them. Getting a very profitable exit is just one way to trigger that experience. In my experience, a lot of people who get into this state start self-sabotaging hard as a way of rejecting what feels, ironically, like losing control. Sudden freedom can feel foreign and lot like your world got forcibly taken away from you. I'm not surprised the author is turning down opportunities and breaking off with his girlfriend. It's a way of taking back control. When this happened to me, I pivoted hard from getting satisfaction out of what I built to getting satisfaction out of developing people. Now I take great pride out of the careers I've nurtured...a lot more than what I've built, in most ways. I've heard others express similar ideas in different ways, like "I now enjoy making other people rich." No matter what, I encourage the author to use this time to build connections instead of destroying them (real connections...not work or SF acquaintances). Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). No path out of this valley involves traveling alone.

theonething 2y ago
I have rich and satisfying family and community life. Not having to work would mean that I can enjoy more of that. I'm confident it would be nothing short of fantastic in my case.
lisper 2y ago
In a way having money makes it harder because it makes it harder to blame your unhappiness on your circumstances.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
- david-gpu 2y ago
  Yeah. When you have to work in order to live, it is easy to make the mistake of thinking that you would be happy if only you had money to quit your job and time do the things you want to do. Once you get there, you have to face reality: while being poor leads to unhappiness, being financially independent does not lead to happiness either. Don't believe me? Look at billionaires out there; do all of them look like happy and well-adjusted people to you? Not naming names. And that's why wealthy celebrities repeat again and again that "Money doesn't buy happiness". It's because they know from experience that it really doesn't help all that much.
  - scotty79 2y ago
    > Money doesn't buy happiness Yeah, but it let's you suffer in relative comfort which is the most that anyone can realisically strive for.
    - david-gpu 2y ago
      > suffer in relaive comfort which is the most that anyone can realisically strive for If you have never met a person who is content with their life you may benefit from expanding your social circle. There are sincerely happy people out there.
      - scotty79 2y ago
        No, thanks. There's really nothing to learn from people with this particular rare flavor of brain chemistry.
        tough 2y ago
        lmfao
        jamieplex 2y ago
        Well, that's definitely an interesting take...
        scotty79 2y ago
        Yeah, if only people who chase happiness their entire lives, just because they saw it few times in others and suffer immensely in the process had this insight ...
        deleted 2y ago
        [deleted]
  - zusammen 2y ago
    Money doesn’t buy happiness but most people are subjected to artificial misery by this society and money does make that go away… at least, a fair share of it, probably 80 percent. That said, a lot of people who get rich, because status is their real motivation, are shocked by how horrible society still is. At first they get hooked on the drug of high social status, but then they learn to see through the flattery and realize that nothing has truly changed, and they’re just as miserable as before. It tends to take about two years, in my observation, for the “new life energy” to wear off. Money teaches you that there isn’t some “better” society to aspire to. The people “up there” aren’t the supervillains Redditers imagine billionaires to be, but they’re not better either. My daughter is autistic and when she started to learn how to read social cues she realized that her so-called friends didn’t actually like her, which I suspected myself but never had the chutzpah to say, and it made her angry. Getting rich has a similar “learn what people are really about” curse.
- mcmcmc 2y ago
  What a load. Only someone who has always had money would say this
  - Rodeoclash 2y ago
    Correct, because only by having money can most people understand the situation. You've proven this yourself by calling it "a load". Zen monks have attained this understanding without the need to make the money first however.
    - mcmcmc 2y ago
      No, you cannot make the comparison between having money and not having money if you have never not had money. If you have always had money, you have never known the difficulty of living without it.
      - intended 2y ago
        I never read any of the comments here as belittling what it is to be poor. It reads to me as being critical of the assumption that being rich makes you happy. This is reflected by many people who became rich and self destructive.
  - nextlevelwizard 2y ago
    That is the entire point. Money removes unhappiness and raises you to a baseline, but after that it doesn't provide extra happiness in and of it self.
    - saagarjha 2y ago
      It can, if you use it wisely. It's just not that you eat the money yourself, you apply it to things you want to do. That could be buying guitars, or it could be setting up solar panels in Ghana. There's a lot of things you can do with money.
- Rodeoclash 2y ago
  100% - it takes away your hope. In this case, that by "making it" in the world of startups will fill the void in your life.
- nextlevelwizard 2y ago
  Yep. I am not even rich. In fact compared to US software engineers I am making pennies, but I am hitting above average for where I live. And at times it is hard to find meaning in every day life. I like my job, but realistically I could quit now and just about coast with my savings for the rest of my life. On other hand I could increase my spending and live more luxurious life style, but that isn't for me. I just like to code, play video games, and be alone in peace and quiet.
  - Freak_NL 2y ago
    Honestly, if I ever reach the point where my savings would keep me comfortable with a pension to look forward to pick up the slack at the end, I'd quit my job and just focus on my interests, providing a clean house and having a good meal ready in the evening for my wife and son, and develop some side gigs I can give up if they don't give me fulfilment. As it is, I am acutely aware of my privileges as part of a household with two IT-based incomes and not too many worries, and that the world being what it is right now is giving rise to so many uncertainties that I wouldn't dream of abandoning this unless I had a really big bag of money like the author.
    - deleted 2y ago
      [deleted]
    - swiftcoder 2y ago
      > Honestly, if I ever reach the point where my savings would keep me comfortable ... I'd quit my job and just focus on my interests Pretty much everyone says this, but surprisingly few people actually seem to succeed at it when push-comes-to-shove
      - tjr 2y ago
        https://philip.greenspun.com/materialism/early-retirement/ https://philip.greenspun.com/materialism/early-retirement/ Ask a wage slave what he'd like to accomplish. Chances are the response will be something like "I'd start every day at the gym and work out for two hours until I was as buff as Brad Pitt. Then I'd practice the piano for three hours. I'd become fluent in Mandarin so that I could be prepared to understand the largest transformation of our time. I'd really learn how to handle a polo pony. I'd learn to fly a helicopter. I'd finish the screenplay that I've been writing and direct a production of it in HDTV." Why hasn't he accomplished all of those things? "Because I'm chained to this desk 50 hours per week at this horrible [insurance|programming|government|administrative|whatever] job. So he has no doubt that he would get all these things done if he didn't have to work? "Absolutely none. If I didn't have the job, I would be out there living the dream." Suppose that the guy cashes in his investments and does retire. What do we find? He is waking up at 9:30 am, surfing the Web, sorting out the cable TV bill, watching DVDs, talking about going to the gym, eating Doritos, and maybe accomplishing one of his stated goals. Retirement forces you to stop thinking that it is your job that holds you back. For most people the depressing truth is that they aren't that organized, disciplined, or motivated.
- kamaal 2y ago
  Unhappy for different reasons is not the same. Being unhappy because you are homeless is not the same being unhappy because some woman doesn't treat you like she would do a man who looks better than you are just two different things.
morpheos137 2y ago
As someone who has not been successful in life but who is relatively intelligent do you have any recommendations as to how I can get my life on track? I am asking because you said you like developing people. My persistent experience in life for almost 20 years post college has been nobody wants to develop me. I am not in tech but I am generally interested in the area if it can lead me to greater independence and more interesting work. I like jobs that are intellectually engaging and ideally somewhat physically active. Right now I am working in a mechanical role. Sometimes I like the work but more often than not I find that good problem solving ability is not valued and the pay is dismal vs. what people earn in tech. I have a BA in economics but unfortunately have never used it. 37 years old.
- wsintra2022 2y ago
  Learn a musical instrument. Stick at it and over time you will find you can create music , which will make you feel successful.
  - vixen99 2y ago
    Excellent advice. For those for whom it's appropriate, do try it. As you suggest, therein lies that special essentially private pleasure of accomplishment in small things that doesn't depend on the approbation of others.
- philosopher1234 2y ago
  It’s unlikely you’ll find someone who takes an interest in developing you, who isn’t a personal connection or someone you pay, in my experience. You will probably have to take the first step yourself, either to develop yourself or to find and develop a nurturing relationship.
- madrox 2y ago
  I can't speak to your specific circumstances, but perhaps this will help. I find that people I talk to with chronic job dissatisfaction have a difficult time taking risks, because despite not liking their current circumstances, the unknown can be scary. There are known pathways to work in tech or other fields, such as coding camps or community college. It becomes a question of what you're willing to sacrifice to make that happen. Would you move to a new city? Go back to school? Give up your evenings and weekends? Usually, some kind of risk needs to be taken, and there's always a path forward if you look. I didn't graduate college until I was 29, and now that I'm in my mid-40s I can say that while every risk I took didn't pay off, it was in the taking of risks that has left me feeling satisfied with where I am.
scotty79 2y ago
> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. Unless you have a schizoid personality.
zusammen 2y ago
I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. Most people eventually become disillusioned with work enough that they reevaluate what matters to them. Getting a very profitable exit is just one way to trigger that experience. I’ve seen a lot of people have random outlier success they didn’t earn and it seems to have the same effect as what most people get out of their careers: crushing failure they didn’t earn. By 50 or so, everyone figures out: * it was almost all random. * the things that seemed so important were not. * working for money is a waste of time for almost everyone. * you can count your real friends on two hands, whether you’re broke or a billionaire. It’s surprising how the paths converge. There are differences, and the rich version of alienation is better than the poor one, but the mindset this society leaves people with is remarkably stable. No one feels like they won, which is why Musk and Trump are so full of rage at everyone. Either the gods shut you out or you are forced to find out that the gods never existed.
- KolmogorovComp 2y ago
  Thank you for this post, remarkably articulated, I concur.
- eastbound 2y ago
  > working for money is a waste of time for almost everyone No. Chance doesn’t fall evenly. It falls more often on those who work. Thinking that Trump is full of rage is missing the forest for the tree. It’s a forest of journalists who are full of rage that this race and gender unapologetically exists, who try to depaint Trump as full of rage. It’s a forest of selfish crowd who wants the fruit of the labor of the second half of people, who complain that Trump is selfish. Looked at the tree. Missed the entire forest. Not surprising that you think people are struck by a lightening to become billionaire. Chop chop chop, back to work, quit being jealous.
  - totallynothoney 2y ago
    Extrapolate from your current lifestyle. What will you have in your last year alive?
workflowsauce 2y ago
> Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. I think he needs to get closer to himself. I think he's on the right track.
- madrox 2y ago
  I've found that you don't see yourself without people around you to hold up a mirror
  - o1o1o1 2y ago
    Exactly this. Also, it is difficult to find those people when you're already rich and unemployed because most of us form these kind of meaningful relationships in school, at work etc.
justinclift 2y ago
> Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). Yeah. The entire blog post (to me) gives the strong impression that the author is an extremely self centred, selfish... er... prick. Maybe they'll learn to be less that way over time, and hopefully their ex-girlfriend learns to avoid ungrateful people.
- entropicdrifter 2y ago
  It also gives a strong impression of somebody who is afraid of asking for help. The entire post could be summarized as "I feel like an important self-made man and I'm scared of starting therapy that I clearly need to help me sort out my enormous insecurities"
nico 2y ago
> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone In my opinion, this is the big take here When you have enough money to not work, it becomes very lonely fast All of a sudden you have tons of time, but no one to share it with. Everyone is busy, mostly with work (also, most people probably can’t afford the same things you can) If you could coordinate to stop working at the same time as your significant other, and a few friends, then you at least would have a group to plan and do stuff with One of the biggest meanings we can find in life, is the feeling of belonging OP seems to be going through a belonging crisis. Trying to figure out what group he wants to belong to
- varelse 2y ago
  [flagged]
  - sentientslug 2y ago
    Weird that you brought race into it, especially when your supposition is incorrect.
    - varelse 2y ago
      [dead]
  - freejazz 2y ago
    [flagged]
    - varelse 2y ago
      [dead]
  - NicholasGurr 2y ago
    [flagged]
  - LordAtlas 2y ago
    > OP sounds like a rich white dude having rich white dude problems. Yeah, definitely white: https://www.google.com/search?q=vinay+hiremath&btnG=Search&udm=2 https://www.google.com/search?q=vinay+hiremath&btnG=Search&u...
xdfgh1112 2y ago
I did the same as OP. Quit my job then started distancing from everyone and removing responsibility in the pursuit of freedom to do what I want. But all I did was wallow and stay alone. Not sure what the answer is but your insights were very powerful to read.
- potatoman22 2y ago
  I've found myself in a similar position. I'm trying to figure out how to not be self-destructive, but I feel the urge to distance myself from people.
- cwalv 2y ago
  The book of Ecclesiastes is about this. It makes more sense if you s/meaningless/vapor/g, i.e. we're all chasing after something like smoke that we can see but can't 'catch'.
  - Tistron 2y ago
    I love that book. Haven't read much of the bible, but totally recommend anyone to read this Buddhist sutra that was smuggled in somehow :)
  - ryandvm 2y ago
    Fascinating that your version said "vapor". That's a much better translation. The versions I've read called it "vanity" which was even more obtuse. Once I figured out that they meant something insubstantial and fleeting, I found that particular book beautiful.
  - westmeal 2y ago
    Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Swallowing the sun in a moonlit room Standing at the foot of a rainbow Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Riding on a yellow-bellied brown snake Sipping on hedonism
- random42 2y ago
  I am currently at the same place, with no reasonable place out. How did you solve it?
shortrounddev2 2y ago
How do you get to a point of developing people? What is that Job title? At work I'm the goto guy for junior engineers to ask questions to and I've been told I'm a naturally good teacher
- ghostpepper 2y ago
  It's called management and the entry point is usually called tech lead / team lead or just manager. Mentoring juniors is a good way to start.
- simonswords82 2y ago
  Contact your local university, most have mentorship programmes you can apply to be a part of for under and post grads.
  - shortrounddev2 2y ago
    Oh I meant in like private industry
freediver 2y ago
> I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. To add to this, the 'modern' use of the word 'millionare' started in 1850 (discounting first use in 1719 in France which was not in the context of 'rich' we know). When you adjust for inflation, a comperable purchase power today would be an equivalent of having net worth of $250M. Anything below that and you aren't even a 'true' millionare. ($1 USD in 1850 is roughly ~$250 USD in 2024, taking 3.2% average historic inflation rate). So, author, you are not even rich, still work to do ;)
- canucker2016 2y ago
  from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/1900-idle-rich/ https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/1900-id...: In 1850, the US was home to 19 millionaires. But the years following the Civil War had seen a considerable increase in membership of that exclusive club. By the end of the 1890's the number of millionaires in the US had swelled to more than 4,000.
drdude 2y ago
I am drowning in debt since I graduated from my PhD, all I get is rejections for my job applications... I want to learn how to be rich because that is the only way I can get back to the US and live with my kids and provide for them (US born, living with their mom). Thanks in anticipation.
jessyco 2y ago
> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. Just wanted to let you know, for unknown reasons this statement really resonated with me, thank you.

by madrox 2y ago

theonething 2y ago

I have rich and satisfying family and community life. Not having to work would mean that I can enjoy more of that. I'm confident it would be nothing short of fantastic in my case.

lisper 2y ago

In a way having money makes it harder because it makes it harder to blame your unhappiness on your circumstances.

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
david-gpu 2y ago
Yeah. When you have to work in order to live, it is easy to make the mistake of thinking that you would be happy if only you had money to quit your job and time do the things you want to do. Once you get there, you have to face reality: while being poor leads to unhappiness, being financially independent does not lead to happiness either. Don't believe me? Look at billionaires out there; do all of them look like happy and well-adjusted people to you? Not naming names. And that's why wealthy celebrities repeat again and again that "Money doesn't buy happiness". It's because they know from experience that it really doesn't help all that much.
- scotty79 2y ago
  > Money doesn't buy happiness Yeah, but it let's you suffer in relative comfort which is the most that anyone can realisically strive for.
  - david-gpu 2y ago
    > suffer in relaive comfort which is the most that anyone can realisically strive for If you have never met a person who is content with their life you may benefit from expanding your social circle. There are sincerely happy people out there.
    - scotty79 2y ago
      No, thanks. There's really nothing to learn from people with this particular rare flavor of brain chemistry.
      - tough 2y ago
        lmfao
      - jamieplex 2y ago
        Well, that's definitely an interesting take...
        scotty79 2y ago
        Yeah, if only people who chase happiness their entire lives, just because they saw it few times in others and suffer immensely in the process had this insight ...
      - deleted 2y ago
        [deleted]
- zusammen 2y ago
  Money doesn’t buy happiness but most people are subjected to artificial misery by this society and money does make that go away… at least, a fair share of it, probably 80 percent. That said, a lot of people who get rich, because status is their real motivation, are shocked by how horrible society still is. At first they get hooked on the drug of high social status, but then they learn to see through the flattery and realize that nothing has truly changed, and they’re just as miserable as before. It tends to take about two years, in my observation, for the “new life energy” to wear off. Money teaches you that there isn’t some “better” society to aspire to. The people “up there” aren’t the supervillains Redditers imagine billionaires to be, but they’re not better either. My daughter is autistic and when she started to learn how to read social cues she realized that her so-called friends didn’t actually like her, which I suspected myself but never had the chutzpah to say, and it made her angry. Getting rich has a similar “learn what people are really about” curse.
mcmcmc 2y ago
What a load. Only someone who has always had money would say this
- Rodeoclash 2y ago
  Correct, because only by having money can most people understand the situation. You've proven this yourself by calling it "a load". Zen monks have attained this understanding without the need to make the money first however.
  - mcmcmc 2y ago
    No, you cannot make the comparison between having money and not having money if you have never not had money. If you have always had money, you have never known the difficulty of living without it.
    - intended 2y ago
      I never read any of the comments here as belittling what it is to be poor. It reads to me as being critical of the assumption that being rich makes you happy. This is reflected by many people who became rich and self destructive.
- nextlevelwizard 2y ago
  That is the entire point. Money removes unhappiness and raises you to a baseline, but after that it doesn't provide extra happiness in and of it self.
  - saagarjha 2y ago
    It can, if you use it wisely. It's just not that you eat the money yourself, you apply it to things you want to do. That could be buying guitars, or it could be setting up solar panels in Ghana. There's a lot of things you can do with money.
Rodeoclash 2y ago
100% - it takes away your hope. In this case, that by "making it" in the world of startups will fill the void in your life.
nextlevelwizard 2y ago
Yep. I am not even rich. In fact compared to US software engineers I am making pennies, but I am hitting above average for where I live. And at times it is hard to find meaning in every day life. I like my job, but realistically I could quit now and just about coast with my savings for the rest of my life. On other hand I could increase my spending and live more luxurious life style, but that isn't for me. I just like to code, play video games, and be alone in peace and quiet.
- Freak_NL 2y ago
  Honestly, if I ever reach the point where my savings would keep me comfortable with a pension to look forward to pick up the slack at the end, I'd quit my job and just focus on my interests, providing a clean house and having a good meal ready in the evening for my wife and son, and develop some side gigs I can give up if they don't give me fulfilment. As it is, I am acutely aware of my privileges as part of a household with two IT-based incomes and not too many worries, and that the world being what it is right now is giving rise to so many uncertainties that I wouldn't dream of abandoning this unless I had a really big bag of money like the author.
  - deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
  - swiftcoder 2y ago
    > Honestly, if I ever reach the point where my savings would keep me comfortable ... I'd quit my job and just focus on my interests Pretty much everyone says this, but surprisingly few people actually seem to succeed at it when push-comes-to-shove
    - tjr 2y ago
      https://philip.greenspun.com/materialism/early-retirement/ https://philip.greenspun.com/materialism/early-retirement/ Ask a wage slave what he'd like to accomplish. Chances are the response will be something like "I'd start every day at the gym and work out for two hours until I was as buff as Brad Pitt. Then I'd practice the piano for three hours. I'd become fluent in Mandarin so that I could be prepared to understand the largest transformation of our time. I'd really learn how to handle a polo pony. I'd learn to fly a helicopter. I'd finish the screenplay that I've been writing and direct a production of it in HDTV." Why hasn't he accomplished all of those things? "Because I'm chained to this desk 50 hours per week at this horrible [insurance|programming|government|administrative|whatever] job. So he has no doubt that he would get all these things done if he didn't have to work? "Absolutely none. If I didn't have the job, I would be out there living the dream." Suppose that the guy cashes in his investments and does retire. What do we find? He is waking up at 9:30 am, surfing the Web, sorting out the cable TV bill, watching DVDs, talking about going to the gym, eating Doritos, and maybe accomplishing one of his stated goals. Retirement forces you to stop thinking that it is your job that holds you back. For most people the depressing truth is that they aren't that organized, disciplined, or motivated.
kamaal 2y ago
Unhappy for different reasons is not the same. Being unhappy because you are homeless is not the same being unhappy because some woman doesn't treat you like she would do a man who looks better than you are just two different things.

morpheos137 2y ago

As someone who has not been successful in life but who is relatively intelligent do you have any recommendations as to how I can get my life on track? I am asking because you said you like developing people. My persistent experience in life for almost 20 years post college has been nobody wants to develop me. I am not in tech but I am generally interested in the area if it can lead me to greater independence and more interesting work. I like jobs that are intellectually engaging and ideally somewhat physically active. Right now I am working in a mechanical role. Sometimes I like the work but more often than not I find that good problem solving ability is not valued and the pay is dismal vs. what people earn in tech. I have a BA in economics but unfortunately have never used it. 37 years old.

wsintra2022 2y ago
Learn a musical instrument. Stick at it and over time you will find you can create music , which will make you feel successful.
- vixen99 2y ago
  Excellent advice. For those for whom it's appropriate, do try it. As you suggest, therein lies that special essentially private pleasure of accomplishment in small things that doesn't depend on the approbation of others.
philosopher1234 2y ago
It’s unlikely you’ll find someone who takes an interest in developing you, who isn’t a personal connection or someone you pay, in my experience. You will probably have to take the first step yourself, either to develop yourself or to find and develop a nurturing relationship.
madrox 2y ago
I can't speak to your specific circumstances, but perhaps this will help. I find that people I talk to with chronic job dissatisfaction have a difficult time taking risks, because despite not liking their current circumstances, the unknown can be scary. There are known pathways to work in tech or other fields, such as coding camps or community college. It becomes a question of what you're willing to sacrifice to make that happen. Would you move to a new city? Go back to school? Give up your evenings and weekends? Usually, some kind of risk needs to be taken, and there's always a path forward if you look. I didn't graduate college until I was 29, and now that I'm in my mid-40s I can say that while every risk I took didn't pay off, it was in the taking of risks that has left me feeling satisfied with where I am.

scotty79 2y ago

> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. Unless you have a schizoid personality.

zusammen 2y ago

I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. Most people eventually become disillusioned with work enough that they reevaluate what matters to them. Getting a very profitable exit is just one way to trigger that experience. I’ve seen a lot of people have random outlier success they didn’t earn and it seems to have the same effect as what most people get out of their careers: crushing failure they didn’t earn. By 50 or so, everyone figures out: * it was almost all random. * the things that seemed so important were not. * working for money is a waste of time for almost everyone. * you can count your real friends on two hands, whether you’re broke or a billionaire. It’s surprising how the paths converge. There are differences, and the rich version of alienation is better than the poor one, but the mindset this society leaves people with is remarkably stable. No one feels like they won, which is why Musk and Trump are so full of rage at everyone. Either the gods shut you out or you are forced to find out that the gods never existed.

KolmogorovComp 2y ago
Thank you for this post, remarkably articulated, I concur.
eastbound 2y ago
> working for money is a waste of time for almost everyone No. Chance doesn’t fall evenly. It falls more often on those who work. Thinking that Trump is full of rage is missing the forest for the tree. It’s a forest of journalists who are full of rage that this race and gender unapologetically exists, who try to depaint Trump as full of rage. It’s a forest of selfish crowd who wants the fruit of the labor of the second half of people, who complain that Trump is selfish. Looked at the tree. Missed the entire forest. Not surprising that you think people are struck by a lightening to become billionaire. Chop chop chop, back to work, quit being jealous.
- totallynothoney 2y ago
  Extrapolate from your current lifestyle. What will you have in your last year alive?

workflowsauce 2y ago

> Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. I think he needs to get closer to himself. I think he's on the right track.

madrox 2y ago
I've found that you don't see yourself without people around you to hold up a mirror
- o1o1o1 2y ago
  Exactly this. Also, it is difficult to find those people when you're already rich and unemployed because most of us form these kind of meaningful relationships in school, at work etc.

justinclift 2y ago

> Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). Yeah. The entire blog post (to me) gives the strong impression that the author is an extremely self centred, selfish... er... prick. Maybe they'll learn to be less that way over time, and hopefully their ex-girlfriend learns to avoid ungrateful people.

entropicdrifter 2y ago
It also gives a strong impression of somebody who is afraid of asking for help. The entire post could be summarized as "I feel like an important self-made man and I'm scared of starting therapy that I clearly need to help me sort out my enormous insecurities"

nico 2y ago

> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone In my opinion, this is the big take here When you have enough money to not work, it becomes very lonely fast All of a sudden you have tons of time, but no one to share it with. Everyone is busy, mostly with work (also, most people probably can’t afford the same things you can) If you could coordinate to stop working at the same time as your significant other, and a few friends, then you at least would have a group to plan and do stuff with One of the biggest meanings we can find in life, is the feeling of belonging OP seems to be going through a belonging crisis. Trying to figure out what group he wants to belong to

varelse 2y ago
[flagged]
- sentientslug 2y ago
  Weird that you brought race into it, especially when your supposition is incorrect.
  - varelse 2y ago
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- freejazz 2y ago
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  - varelse 2y ago
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- NicholasGurr 2y ago
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- LordAtlas 2y ago
  > OP sounds like a rich white dude having rich white dude problems. Yeah, definitely white: https://www.google.com/search?q=vinay+hiremath&btnG=Search&udm=2 https://www.google.com/search?q=vinay+hiremath&btnG=Search&u...

xdfgh1112 2y ago

I did the same as OP. Quit my job then started distancing from everyone and removing responsibility in the pursuit of freedom to do what I want. But all I did was wallow and stay alone. Not sure what the answer is but your insights were very powerful to read.

potatoman22 2y ago
I've found myself in a similar position. I'm trying to figure out how to not be self-destructive, but I feel the urge to distance myself from people.
cwalv 2y ago
The book of Ecclesiastes is about this. It makes more sense if you s/meaningless/vapor/g, i.e. we're all chasing after something like smoke that we can see but can't 'catch'.
- Tistron 2y ago
  I love that book. Haven't read much of the bible, but totally recommend anyone to read this Buddhist sutra that was smuggled in somehow :)
- ryandvm 2y ago
  Fascinating that your version said "vapor". That's a much better translation. The versions I've read called it "vanity" which was even more obtuse. Once I figured out that they meant something insubstantial and fleeting, I found that particular book beautiful.
- westmeal 2y ago
  Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Swallowing the sun in a moonlit room Standing at the foot of a rainbow Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Riding on a yellow-bellied brown snake Sipping on hedonism
random42 2y ago
I am currently at the same place, with no reasonable place out. How did you solve it?

shortrounddev2 2y ago

How do you get to a point of developing people? What is that Job title? At work I'm the goto guy for junior engineers to ask questions to and I've been told I'm a naturally good teacher

ghostpepper 2y ago
It's called management and the entry point is usually called tech lead / team lead or just manager. Mentoring juniors is a good way to start.
simonswords82 2y ago
Contact your local university, most have mentorship programmes you can apply to be a part of for under and post grads.
- shortrounddev2 2y ago
  Oh I meant in like private industry

freediver 2y ago

> I don't think you have to have Fuck You Money to get to this point. To add to this, the 'modern' use of the word 'millionare' started in 1850 (discounting first use in 1719 in France which was not in the context of 'rich' we know). When you adjust for inflation, a comperable purchase power today would be an equivalent of having net worth of $250M. Anything below that and you aren't even a 'true' millionare. ($1 USD in 1850 is roughly ~$250 USD in 2024, taking 3.2% average historic inflation rate). So, author, you are not even rich, still work to do ;)

canucker2016 2y ago
from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/1900-idle-rich/ https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/1900-id...: In 1850, the US was home to 19 millionaires. But the years following the Civil War had seen a considerable increase in membership of that exclusive club. By the end of the 1890's the number of millionaires in the US had swelled to more than 4,000.

drdude 2y ago

I am drowning in debt since I graduated from my PhD, all I get is rejections for my job applications... I want to learn how to be rich because that is the only way I can get back to the US and live with my kids and provide for them (US born, living with their mom). Thanks in anticipation.

jessyco 2y ago

> No path out of this valley involves traveling alone. Just wanted to let you know, for unknown reasons this statement really resonated with me, thank you.