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Apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child by centrifugal force (1963)
- hirundo 3y agoThere was a Heinlein story where Lazurus Long delivers the baby of a slave girl he had rescued by accelerating the spaceship they were in at the crucial moment. Anyone remember which book?
- PixyMisa 3y agoTime Enough for Love, the section of the story with the complementary twins. I think he adjusted the artificial gravity rather than the acceleration, but yes, I immediately thought of that when I saw this item.
- hirundo 3y agoThank you! Time Enough for Love was published in 1973, and this article is from 1963, so it doesn't count as a Heinlein invention: My stool was bolted to the deck, I had added a seat belt. As I strapped myself down, I reminded them that we had a rough ride coming-and this we had not been able to practice; it would have risked miscarriage. "Lock your fingers, Joe, but let her breathe. Comfortable, Llita?" "Uh-" she said breathlessly. "I-I'm starting another one!" "Bear down, dear!" I made sure my left foot was positioned for the gravistat control and watched her belly. Big one! As it peaked, I switched from one-quarter gravity up to two gravities almost in one motion-and Llita let out a yip and the baby squirted like a watermelon seed right into my hands. I dragged my foot back to allow the gravistat to put us back on low gee even as I made a nearly instantaoeous inspection of the brat. --- But more interesting is the Senior's allegation that he used a pseudogravity field in that year to facilitate childbirth. Was he the first tocologist to use this (now standard) method? Nowhere does he assert this, and the technique is usually associated with Dr. Virginius Briggs of Secundus Howard Clinic and a much later date. http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=1929 http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=1929
- jay_kyburz 3y agoYou know, its actually a pretty good idea, and I see the patent is expired!
- theGeatZhopa 3y agoFor the astronauts of the future. Training started at birth. Though, a centrifugal cradle is still needed to keep the forces steady. Also, one might think of rotating milk bottle for pressurized milk which will be pushed out by centrifugal forces :)
- 1letterunixname 3y agoAlso, zero G birth will be a thing eventually.
- amenhotep 3y agoThe diagrams, which are incredible, intrigued me enough (how is the midwife supposed to observe and assist?) that I actually read further to find out, and wow, I'm glad I did: > Means are provided to assure the safe delivery of the fetus and to stop the machine immediately upon such delivery. These means comprise a pocket-shaped reception net 88 made of strong, elastic material and supported under tension by tail ropes 89 secured at one end by the tail hook 90 to the tail mast 91 fixed to the outer end of plate 65, and secured at their other diverged ends by the hooks 92 to the thigh holders 68. Alley-oop!
- h2odragon 3y agoChange the hook mechanism and we have a baby trebuchet.
- Oarch 3y agoI can see no potential problems here. Please proceed with your baby yeet machine.
- fjfuvucucuc 3y agoY'all be joking about this but they yanked my baby out with a damn suction cup stuck to his head. Guy looks like he the baby on Coneheads.
- touisteur 3y agoTwins here. First one with suction cup, second one they went up there with the hand and forearm to catch the baby's leg and pull. Thank the appropriate deities the epidural was badly performed and my spouse was conked out of her mind (and couldn't push, hence the sucking cup...). Twin birth is disturbing. They tell you before, but between hearing about it and living it...
- mmusson 3y agoI remember the doctor explaining that newborns are slippery. All I could imagine was the newborn launching from this contraption with doctor and nurses attempting to catch as the baby slips from person to person while the mother vomits from nausea.
- touisteur 3y agoNo need to imagine, Tim Burton's Big Fish has a depiction :-)
- cypress66 3y agoWould this actually work?
- lr4444lr 3y agoWith next to no muscle tone and very delicate bones, a newborn human body would probably be at great risk of injury and death unharnessed to have its joints, especially its neck, at the speed you'd need to whip its shoulders through the birth canal.
- bombcar 3y agoWell that’s easy to fix, just make the baby gestate for five or six years. Added advantage that you can spin them right into the school of your choice immediately!
- DoingIsLearning 3y agoAs a thought experiment, you could probably apply enough force to assist a birth but arguably a useful amount of centrifugal force would overlap with the amount of centrifugal force that would accumulate blood away or into a baby's brain (hypoxia is a pretty severe emergency with such a small body). Other issues I can think of: - Convincing a human in pain and stress to put their most precious on a spin cycle. - Catching an 'exiting' baby on a net is just lawsuit material.
- jokoon 3y agoI'm more concerned about the mother being okay about being spun like that. Birthing is already painful, I'm not sure it's a good idea to spin a woman like that while she's giving birth.
- elzbardico 3y agoAs the blood flow to the brain is impaired, she would probably pass out, sparing her the pain.
- glimshe 3y agoThe baby would have to be delivered by a Spin Doctor.
- martindbp 3y agoHN is usually not a place for jokes but I think we can all agree to allow this one.
- NoZebra120vClip 3y agoI thought to myself, "this is a contraption that only a man could dream up." And then I clicked through to find... husband and wife? Did they dogfood this thing together?
- born-jre 3y agoSaw in twitter few days ago, "inventor" had this idea when he visted a zoo and elephant was walking in circle before giving birth and zoo attendant wrong said that elephants do that to help with the childbirth.
- smeej 3y agoI can see how the walking would help, but not the circles specifically. Maybe the circles were just because, you know, cage?
- mojo74 3y agoI'm thinking of what is going to happen to the placenta as that comes flying out and your newborn baby becomes a human bola.
- saagarjha 3y agoOne wonders if the couple that came up with this had any children.
- croisillon 3y agoyes, scattered all over the place
- mrtksn 3y agoWouldn't be better to accelerate the pregnant woman upwards then decelerate her when falling down? That way we can have more control.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- undecisive 3y ago> In the case of a woman who has a fully developed muscular system and has had ample physical exertion all through the pregnancy, as is common with all more primitive peoples, nature provides all the necessary equipment and power to have a normal and quick delivery. This is not the case, however, with more civilized Women who often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed in confinement. Ignoring the depressingly-predictable classist/colonialist tone, it's interesting to note that modern medicine recommends things like pelvic floor exercises to help with childbirth, primarily to prevent unwanted urination during childbirth and incontinence afterwards it seems. But this observation - if correct - might lead us to conclude that certain types of exercise help the actual act of childbirth more than others. Do we know if this has been corroborated / debunked? I'm wondering if there are any agencies out there with specific recommendations for those who are trying for a baby, for exercises that are actually proven to make childbirth quicker or less painful?
- goodluckchuck 3y agoOne that was recommended in the literature (and I suppose makes sense) was stretching.
- fatbaby 3y ago[flagged]
- watwut 3y agoI do not think it is appropriate to imply non western people are "less civilized" or call them "primitive". Also, the part about "civilized Women who often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed in confinement" is simply untrue today. We all have tons of opportunities to develop whatever muscles we desire to develop. We just need to take those opportunities. Note that western people, including women, exercise a lot. Including or especially middle and upper class ones. Conversely, if you need to spend whole day in the market, selling stuff and plus you care about 4 kids and plus you are barely able to feed family, you wont be running 10km daily or what not.
- aaron695 3y agoA full scale model been made, I guess 'model' means it doesn't function - https://improbable.com/2014/02/21/the-blonsky-centrifugal-birthing-device-in-dublin/ https://improbable.com/2014/02/21/the-blonsky-centrifugal-bi... Perhaps it might be useful in zero gravity, removing fluids etc I don't think any mammals have given birth in zero gravity.
- whalesalad 3y agoThe baby yeet machine has finally come into existence
- MrYellowP 3y agoThanks for pointing out what year it was. I'll try to catch up on my missing sleep.
- _joel 3y agoMy partner is pregnant, I'll see if she fancies this over a water birth. Maybe combine the two and we'll get the washing done too :)
- oxfordmale 3y agoIt is also an excellent opportunities to sleep in the dog house for the next few months. Three in one go!
- amelius 3y agoYou could do two births at once, so you have a good counterweight.
- elzbardico 3y agoBut, why stop at two? This is a software engineer dream: Perfectly linear scalability
- pbhjpbhj 3y agoThe equipment already exists in the form of the fairground ride called The Wall of Gravity (UK). The only change needed would be to lie legs radially outwards instead of standing axially aligned at the rim. You might want to scrub it first too!
- elzbardico 3y agowell! YC-24 here we go!
- h2odragon 3y agoDon't forget the spectator market. We can sell tickets to seats outside the device. The first 3 rows are the "splash zone"; for $5 extra you can have a souvenir poncho with the printed logo.
- elzbardico 3y agowhat about the opportunities of ga-mi-fi-ca-tion? Can we think of a freemium model? ad-supported births? subscriptions?
- h2odragon 3y agogambling. wheel of fortune, anyone?
- 1letterunixname 3y ago
- getarofilter 3y ago[dead]
- vermes22 3y agoThe baby ejector!
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- jfkimmes 3y agoSee https://masto.ai/@vagina_museum/110938928634133136 https://masto.ai/@vagina_museum/110938928634133136 for a little background history.
- HlessClaudesman 3y ago[flagged]
- croo 3y agoEverybody is joking half sarcastically here but childbirth as a process in hospitals do have serious problems and modern day labour leaves deep mental scars in most women while being one of the most important thing in their life. This is definitely a step in the wrong direction however laughable the idea is. Do you know what is the most uncomfortable position for labour is? Yeah, layin on your back. It's just the most comfortable position for the _doctor_. Giving birth is similar to the act of vomiting in the sense that you don't have to do anything, it happens to you when the circumstances call for it. Using this method is as bad idea as to use this method to make the centripetal forces pull the content of your stomach out. It may happen but not for the reasons described. I cannot describe well enough how utterly stupid this idea is...
- drekipus 3y agoThanks for sharing this. It's so crucial to know that we have actually lost this information and we're getting worse. >Do you know what is the most uncomfortable position for labour is? Yeah, layin on your back. My wife and I were shocked when we had our first. We were recommended a "natural birth" course that taught us this, and everyone gave us crap about being "woo-woo" and "denying science". Everyone. We also had to forcibly tell doctors "no" to forceps, pumps, drugs, and all the interventions. They made such a big deal about being two days past the due date, that they pulled her aside and asked if I was abusive. The birth of our first was not too difficult (her words), she did it her way, listened to his she was feeling, followed her gut, and I just had to run interference. Doctors and nurses make a big deal about things like "the cord is wrapped around the neck" when the baby isn't even using its throat to breathe yet. It still has the cord for everything they need. Now we're having a second and we're gonna go home birth. The morphology scans can't seem to decide if we're at 18 weeks or 19 weeks. Due dates my ass.
- JR1427 3y agoThis seems terrible, but then again my daughter was born with a doctor yanking on her head with a pair of BBQ tongs...
- tiborsaas 3y agoThis could also be an interesting device for a different use case, maybe it could help with managing constipation.
- momirlan 3y agowondering if anyone commenting here is a lady. guys are having a blast talking about giving birth...
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- planede 3y ago> If, for example, the height of the openings 125 in standards 120' is selected so that the angle of repose of the stretcher corresponds to the angle of inclination the stretcher would assume when subjected to a centrifugal acceleration of two gs, no elevation of the foot end of the stretcher will occur before the speed of rotation is high enough to cause a horizontal component of two gs. Two freekin' gs.
- sergioisidoro 3y agoI guess this is what happens when the medical profession was (is?) dominated my men, without significant input from women...
- soudiere 3y agoInventors were a wife/husband pair...
- ZeljkoS 3y agoIt is called Blonsky device, and the story behind it is interesting: https://allthatsinteresting.com/blonsky-device https://allthatsinteresting.com/blonsky-device From the article: "On that fateful day, George witnessed a pregnant elephant nearing labor. The large mammal spun in wide, slow circles. As he watched, George hypothesized that the spinning helped the elephant deliver its 250-pound baby."
- whoomp12342 3y agoI bet the elephant was just shy and didn't want anyone seeing her give birth
- wsdookadr 3y ago> In the case of a woman who has a fully developed muscular system and has had ample physical exertion all through the preg nancy, as is common with all more primitive peoples, nature provides all the necessary equipment and power to have a normal and quick delivery. This is not the case, however, with more civilized women who often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed in confinement. that's an interesting observation. goes to show how office work has altered natural mechanisms and the functions of the human body the way it was designed to work. also, does the patent mean centripetal force instead of centrifugal? it's centripetal that pulls to the center of the rotating disk. on the bottom of page 7 it's suggested that the disk be rotated until the force reaches a full 7g, that's almost the same as the acceleration a fighter pilot gets subjected to in tests. it's possible that the mother would be passed out at that point. the effects on the child are probably not the best. i wonder if the patent office considers the potential harm done to human life when a patent is approved.
- kthartic 3y ago> i wonder if the patent office considers the potential harm done to human life when a patent is approved A patent doesn't give permission to create and/or use the device, only the right to prevent others from copying your idea. I could invent a death drug, but no number of patents is going to allow me to actually produce one unless approved by the FDA.
- sevenseventen 3y agoLet's remember this patent whenever people say something like, "Apple has patented slap-bands, at last we know the next big thing!" Patents aren't disclosures of intent, they're not guarantees of a right to be able to manufacture something, and they're certainly not assurances that the described invention is even remotely feasible.
- gwbas1c 3y agoFor my first child, the suction cup came out. When they went to put it on my daughter's head, the (very experienced) nurse took one look at me and told me to sit down. It was a good thing, or I would have fainted! But jokes aside, we had our third child in December 2020, when Covid was in full swing. The room next to ours was set up with negative pressure machines in case the mother was Covid positive. They looked almost as scary as this contraption.
- gwbas1c 3y agoI would worry that the baby would fling out randomly and get a serious injury. And, don't forget that a lot of women poop during delivery. I wouldn't want to get hit by any of that.
- whoomp12342 3y agothats why you have the doctor rotate with the patient
- woleium 3y agoI spilled my tea when I saw the net in the diagram, presumably to catch the infant...
- smallerdemon 3y agoThis is my head canon for how birthing of babies happened in The Matrix.
- DennisP 3y agoYou people are joking around but someday, some long-term resident of a zero-g space station is going to need this.
- cat_plus_plus 3y agoWell, whoever came up with the patent was trying to help. Didn't end up being practical, but then a lot of things tried in 60s didn't end up being practical. We thought we would find some use of going to the moon, found out it's just an empty piece of rock, do we dump on people for trying? Actual thing that worked? Pulling baby out with a vacuum cleaner more or less, done all the time and beats other methods like forceps or letting risky labor drag on. Probably many rolled their eyes first hearing of that idea.
- amelius 3y agoIt sounds like a good idea until you realize that the doctor standing next to the woman is subjected to a lot of g-forces in their career. Probably will develop hemorrhoids like fighter pilots and F1 drivers ;)