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Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

• junon 5y ago
  Seth Everman has a Christmas stream for exactly this this year. If you're into gaming or music, he's your guy. Super funny dude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UmnWZRiLVs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UmnWZRiLVs I'll be there too :)
• boramalper 5y ago
  Dubliners are welcome to join our get together tonight, shoot me an email!
  • Chris2048 5y ago
    But do you have a venue? Wouldn't everything be closed?
    • boramalper 5y ago
      Hosting a small dinner at my house. :)
• upstarter 5y ago
  Nobody in this World has ever been alone. Everybody has their team of guides in the higher dimensions, and they are never on vacation, they are present every second of every day and every night. You just need to learn to perceive them and to connect to them.
  • trkaky 5y ago
    Thanks for pointing out something not so obvious for everyone. I'm trying hard to stay connected. Peace.
  • amcoastal 5y ago
    If you're reading this don't take this advice, its really bad. Unless you don't believe in anything, you have to believe in something. If you can't believe in yourself, mythical beings isn't a terrible place to start.
    • iammjm 5y ago
      Yikes
      • amcoastal 5y ago
        Yeah, telling someone to believe in themselves instead of higher dimensional beings is such a terrible thing.
        • upstarter 5y ago
          > believe in themselves instead of higher dimensional beings Note: It's not about not believing in yourself. It's about acquiring the certainty that you are actually linked to the benevolent beings in the higher dimensions. Once you realize this, you can get immense help/guidance/information/capabilities. In short: It's about _empowering_ yourself, not _limiting_ yourself.
  • goodpoint 5y ago
    > Everybody has their team of guides in the higher dimensions Citation needed. I'd rather be reminded that we share the planet with 7.9 billion other humans. A tiny planet all alone in an immense universe. On this planet we are all alone, together.
    • upstarter 5y ago
      > Citation needed. _Experience needed_ is what you're actually saying. For those living exclusively in the material dimension and who are thus having a hard time with the subtle dimensions, psychedelics may give you that break-through experience that you need as a starting point.
  • KptMarchewa 5y ago
    Yikes.
• kello 5y ago
  Thank you so much for this! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas spending it exactly the way you want to.
• pulse7 5y ago
  I am inviting you to come to my family! From "UK" in your username I see you are just one Ryan Air flight away from us...
• pawelwentpawel 5y ago
  We're actually running a virtual party right now for people who happen to be in front of their screens this xmas. Feel free to join, say hi and have a coffee with us! - https://flat.social/f/hn-virtual-xmas https://flat.social/f/hn-virtual-xmas
• lngnmn2 5y ago
  There's nothing wrong in being alone. Some (mostly narcissistic assholes) even pay for fancy "spiritual" retreats and what not.
• desku 5y ago
  Nobody should feel alone at Christmas. If anyone needs someone to talk to, about anything at all, feel free to contact me. Details in my profile.
• Ostrogodsky 5y ago
  Meh, I have been alone for like 18 straight Christmas. Life goes on. BTW dont believe the people saying "I care about you" "Feel free to reach me by email", that's an exercise in showing off. If you think you cant cope, contact a professional who can help you, not a rando on the Internet.
• impetus1 5y ago
  Exact same man, call your family
• Flankk 5y ago
  This year has been rough. The antiviral pills are just getting approved, seem to be effective. There's a chance we'll get back to normal in the new year. Merry Christmas! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ
  • whitesilhouette 5y ago
    My guess is we will be able to come to a definitive answer by next year March if we go by the cyclic nature of this.
    • dvermilion 5y ago
• ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
  Very nice. My family is having a quarantine Christmas. We’ll be done on Monday.
• xwdv 5y ago
  I have people but still feel alone. Every year is a brutal reminder that there will come a moment when you have finally met all the people that will ever love you, and the list only shrinks more and more every year. For me, it must have happened long ago.
  • deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  • jotaass 5y ago
    Yeah, that's true, that day will come. Just like there will come a day you will go outside for the last time, have your favorite meal a last time, listen to a song for the last time or breathe for the last time. It's a sobering thought. But until that day you have plenty of opportunities to do all those things, and that includes loving new people!
• thorin 5y ago
  Thanks! Last couple of years have been more lonely due to covid stuff. I'm only my own but picking up my kids tomorrow for a week. Enjoy your day, it's just another day though! I'll be doing some chores, going for a bike ride, then roasting something.
  • johnisgood 5y ago
    It's another day for you and me in paradise.
• cblconfederate 5y ago
  You can also get an actual virtual hug and virtual dance etc in online gaming if you re bored. Even if public gatherings are turned off this year, technology gives people , solitary or not, ways to connect with each other (I'll shamelessly plug these open-source world parties https://opensimworld.com/?sub=events https://opensimworld.com/?sub=events )
• Cloudef 5y ago
  Thanks, pretty much same for me.
• globular-toast 5y ago
  Solitary here too. I like being alone, but I do require a little "punctuation" throughout the year when I see people. It's a shame that gatherings seem to require an excuse or some big event and can't just be "because I haven't seen you for a while". Maybe they can be. But I lack the social skills to make that happen. Also my latent social anxiety.
• kodizhuk 5y ago
  thanks, really)
• kodizhuk 5y ago
  thanks, really
• ArjenM 5y ago
  Virtual hugs all around! Hope everyone has a more favorable time ahead of them next year.
• bigodbiel 5y ago
  Merry Christmas all! And remember no one is truly lonely. Have a virtual hug from me. Love you all
• kombine 5y ago
  I'm an immigrant living in the UK by myself and it is not even in my homeland tradition to celebrate Christmas. So today will just be a regular Saturday for me!
  • abledon 5y ago
    happy dec 25th coffee in the morning feeling!
    • ignoramous 5y ago
      Even if one doesn't "celebrate" the year-end holidays, the vibes all around are alright, to be fair. The coffee, much like the air you breathe-in itself, feels very different when almost everyone is in a jolly good mood.
      • saila 5y ago
        In my experience, in the U.S., the vibes around this time of year are often frenetic, stressed, and full of forced holiday merriment. If I could find a way to completely avoid late November to early January, I would.
        • tayo42 5y ago
          Usually your right, with this new post covid lifestyle i find christmas is not really jammed down my throat anymore. No office events, minimal shopping so im not spending time in shopping districts anymore, and it helps i dont have cable so im not getting commercials or anything.
• darepublic 5y ago
  Thanks for the hug OP, right back at you. Happy Christmas
• smcleod 5y ago
  Right back at you. Not an easy day to be alone. Don't do anything silly people. Call someone you care about if you can.
• Wisdomlife 5y ago
  Thank you. I am alone but more happy than most others. Because I am free from internal and external vices. That is the true message behind Christmas. Let us celebrate each and every moment of our lives. May all always be very happy and healthy.
• acqbu 5y ago
  Thanks, you too. Solitary Christmas here too - being an INTJ, I wouldn't like it any other way. To me, this is a great opportunity to review the past year, plan/predict the next one and work on some cool side projects. All best wishes!
• abzug 5y ago
  Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.
  • sillysaurusx 5y ago
    I think if you're posting this to HN, you want to talk to someone about all of this. I happen to like hearing about your life, so please feel free to DM me any time. https://twitter.com/theshawwn https://twitter.com/theshawwn Happy to just listen. No advice.
    • blip54321 5y ago
      It's a kind offer. I will mention that I suspect many people going through this won't be comfortable with Twitter as the means of communications....
      • lisper 5y ago
        I'm happy to "listen" via email. Follow the link in my profile to find my contact info. Put "HN" in the subject line to get past my spam filter.
    • SCUSKU 5y ago
      +1 — This wonderful man helped me and listened via twitter DMs when I was in a rut.
    • asxd 5y ago
      It's amazing how helpful it can be to have a sounding board. This is a very nice gesture.
  • ayoubElk 5y ago
    This too, shall pass. Going through tough times sucks, but it's extremely helpful to keep in mind that it will eventually pass. Stay strong.
  • 5y ago
• Yeri 5y ago
  <3
• mindcrime 5y ago
  Same. I plan to sleep in today (haven't even gone to bed yet, still up from the 24th). I finished up watching Doctor Who: Flux a little while ago, about to head to bed, and when I get up later today after sleeping for a while I'm just going to go fish for a bit, come back home, cook, and spend the rest of the day vegging out and watching Netflix, Prime, whatever, maybe do some reading, yadda yadda. My family all live a few hours away and I don't feel like a road-trip, so this is just a little mini vacation (stay-cation) for me and some time to veg out, relax, and do whatever-the-fuck-I-want-with-no-obligations for a little while. So yes, I'll be spending most of my time alone, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, have a "Merry Christmas", or "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Festivus" or whatever holiday greeting you desire from me. And a virtual hug as well.
  • ilaksh 5y ago
    Netflix had some recent stuff zi recommend: The Witcher (new season), Don't Look Up, and Arcane.
  • acomjean 5y ago
    “A festivus for the rest of us” I got to get my aluminum pile from the crawl space for next year. https://youtu.be/1njzgXSzA-A https://youtu.be/1njzgXSzA-A Looking at this again in context of this thread no it’s commentary becomes clearer.
• gigatexal 5y ago
  Thank you for doing this! It’s so important to reach out to be seen to be connected. If anyone is alone and wants to shoot the shit to get through this holiday email me terminal dot recluse at gmail dot com
• touchngthevodka 5y ago
  Thanks. You too. I lost my partner of 3.5 years recently and this will be my first Christmas since it happened. I'm with family but it doesn't come anywhere close to filling the hole they left. Merry christmas.
  • rnoorda 5y ago
    Each Christmas Eve, I watch The Muppet Christmas Carol as a personal tradition. This year, this exchange with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come stood out to me: >Scrooge: Oh, Spirit. Must there be a Christmas that brings this awful scene? How can they endure it? >Bob Crachit: It's all right, children. Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure we shall never forget Tiny Tim or this first parting that there was among us. I don't know how you can endure it, and I don't know how you can fill that hole. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
• wyclif 5y ago
  There was a Category 5 Typhoon in in the Philippines where I am last week. The power was out and there was no electricity, refrigeration, or internet for a week. One of the transformers in my neibourhood blew out and got destroyed, and at 6pm on Christmas Eve they replaced it and we finally had power! I'm a software developer with a wife and two kids and we have a lot to be thankful for. We survided COVID-19 and a Category 5 hurricane.
  • wiz21c 5y ago
    Totally OT, but what is it like to be inside a Category 5 hurricane ?
    • ausudhz 5y ago
      Inside you feel nothing, is at the edges the problem
    • wyclif 5y ago
      It's just "batten down the hatches" time, to use a nautical analogy, and you close, tighten up, or nail down anything on the outside of your house or in your yard that you can. Then you lie low and wait for the worst. There were very high winds (120+mph) and rain so hard that I could barely see my hand in front of my face, and lots of downed trees and flooding. I've never seen so much crap lying on the ground before when it was over. We didn't have any home damage because our house is made of concrete. But a lot of Filipinos lost their homes because they tend to build with light materials (bamboo, wood, corrugated tin).
    • ohyeshedid 5y ago
      Not OP, but: Ancient oak trees, with canopies the size of houses, gingerly cartwheeling down the street, until a wind shift sends it rolling through the neighbors(empty) house. Watching their entire lives evaporate into projectiles that peppered everything downwind. Modern garage door being sucked out, thrown over the house, to impale itself into the house behind it, evaporating it a few seconds later. Large trucks, turning side-over-side, like logs rolling down a hill. A cast iron bench being launched like a rocket into a neighbors window, turning the contents of that room, window, frame, and window air conditioner into a debris field; something from with-which punched a hole through a stop sign. The roof of my house being lifted 6-10 inches directly upward, rotated about 30 degrees, and slammed back down. Like a sonic boom went off 10ft over-head. Front support column being blown through my living room window, glass embedding itself into the walls opposite. The physics of your everyday environment radically and violently change, you see things that you can't see anywhere else. I was on a few drugs while everything was going on, and there's so much more, but none of that was what really messed me up. I don't know if other people have ever seen something that their brain couldn't understand at all. Like all context does not exist, this is entirely new to human experience kinda thing: My house had a big ditch behind it, then a set of train tracks that were about a foot lower than my land grade, then another big ditch, then a state park. A very large state park that was miles and miles of ancient oaks, swamps, etc. I walked out behind my house when the storm cleared, and I froze because I couldn't understand what I was seeing: Imagine an eldritch-old forest, you see it everyday, and now where an impenetrable wall of wood was, is now white horizon. It had been flattened, or erased. My eyes were seeing the white horizon while my brain was struggling with my memory and anticipation. It's the most disassociated I've ever felt without advanced chemistry.
• sAbakumoff 5y ago
  XMass is just an artificially distinctive day designed to sell more stuff to people. Why do guys even care about being or not being alone?
  • Smaug123 5y ago
    Christmas is ancient. As long as there has been winter, people have had a festival during its deepest depths, to remind them that the spring will come.
    • Chris2048 5y ago
      Much of the Christmas tradition is pagan/roman: https://www.britannica.com/story/why-is-christmas-in-december https://www.britannica.com/story/why-is-christmas-in-decembe... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia
      • sAbakumoff 5y ago
        haha, reminded me of one of the best scenes(IMHO) of BBT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38x6kWB-xD4&ab_channel=JoshG https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38x6kWB-xD4&ab_channel=JoshG
    • bromuro 5y ago
      Don’t forget on the other side of the planet is summer :)
  • hahamrfunnyguy 5y ago
    For most people that celebrate the holiday, it's a day to spend time with friends and family. I am not Christian, but I still celebrate the holiday with my family. It's the only time of year I see certain family members. It's a convenient time to do this because everyone else is taking time off to do the same. If someone is used to do doing this and is unable to, it's not hard to see why they would feel lonely. I chose not to visit with friends and family last year due to covid but I didn't feel lonely. I observed some of my usual traditions like preparing some fancier than usual food and drink, zoomed and played games online with friends and family and had a nice and relaxing day.
• Klaster_1 5y ago
  I feel you and hug back. To me, celebrations and gatherings were always more stressful and awkward rather than fun and something to look forward to, but at least I got to see what friends and family I had. After moving cities, the only people who I talk to eye to eye are coworkers and service personnel, state holidays became extra weekends.
• ljm 5y ago
  All alone here too. Truth be told, it would take some effort to trust someone enough to spend it with them now. I can thank my own family (back when I considered them family) for that. Now I just make my own dinner, play some video games, and chill out. Took a fair few years to get there though.
• ilaksh 5y ago
  My take on this is that the stigma of being alone is based on false premises. All it takes is to prioritize other things a little bit like your work, your side projects, your own beliefs, or even self-respect, over social efforts. Another aspect I will put out there is that often these days the people we have the most in common with are just on the internet and not physically nearby. I think it's quite wrong to think that online interactions aren't meaningful.
• 1_player 5y ago
  Same here, my plan for today is JWST launch, junk food, video games (I got into Battle Brothers, it keeps kicking my ass) and possibly a video call with family later today. Enjoy your December 25th people!
• deepersprout 5y ago
  I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that. Posts like these make me think this even more. I am alone, and I like it. I can play Warzone and code some stuff I wanted to finish. I can do things I like. I know this may sound stupid, but if you feel alone, don't. There is no reason to. It's just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it. And we don't need "Christmas" for a virtual hug. We can do that every day of the year.
  • precommunicator 5y ago
    It's a weird feeling. I like to be alone but I don't know, this Christmas I have the weird feeling of mix of sadness and loneliness. Usually I don't care, but somehow this stuff comes to me. Even that those are not my first, second or even third Christmas alone, I don't celebrate them, and I'm atheist.
    • acomjean 5y ago
      People even those that like being alone or have a hard time with others (I have family members like this), sometimes like being social. The short days of winter effect some people (vitamin D?) and I think the pandemic has exacerbated this. I notice a lot of the little interactions I used to have are gone although not really deep I miss them.
    • 300bps 5y ago
      I have the weird feeling of mix of sadness and loneliness I think everyone has that to a different extent during the holidays. I am very much not alone but for many of us this time of year made quite a positive impression on us when we were a kid. It’s hard not to yearn for those days especially if we’ve lost a parent or other family member in the interim.
    • ragingrobot 5y ago
      I have been feeling the same, and I'm in the same situation on all accounts. I think it may be all that has been going on the past months is just starting to now manifest itself in these feelings. I also noticed that in instances where the one or two families still home on my block who had friends or family pull up I felt kind of envious, which has never happened before.
• mongol 5y ago
  Fortunately I have never been alone at Christmas, but plenty New Years Eves. I think I can relate but I think these events are quite different, one is mostly about family, and the other mostly about friends. Wish you a pleasant holiday no matter where you are.
• siva7 5y ago
  A holiday is only as important as you make it. There are lots of people who don't give a damn about which holiday it is because it bears no meaning to them and still are perfectly chilled friends. There is nothing wrong with that
• manuelabeledo 5y ago
  I feel you. Haven’t been with my family for almost three years now, although I’m lucky I have my wife and children with me. Let’s hope next year gets better!
• axegon_ 5y ago
  Don't sweat it. I generally ignore holidays: I don't care about them. I spent this Christian with my parents largely because they insisted. I think with age I start carrying less and less about holidays. When I was 20, spending say new years alone sounded like a nightmare. At 32 last new year, I spent it on the couch with my dog watching movies and building a huge ass Lego set and to be completely honest it was probably my best new years eve.
  • yodsanklai 5y ago
    Same here... I've spent so many xmas/nye alone that I'm totally indifferent to it. It's really like any other day. Also I can use the holiday to rest or travel to warm countries instead of over-eating and drinking.
• ecornflak 5y ago
  My mum died in January and my Dad died a couple of weeks ago. We didn’t do much for Christmas as a family but I keep thinking of the interesting things to tell my Dad about that he’s not around to tell. He’d almost certainly be watching the James Webb Telescope launch
  • ethbr0 5y ago
    I'm sorry for your losses. That's an incredibly tough year. :( In my thinking, we live on in those who knew us. So he's cheering it on through you.
  • glitchcrab 5y ago
    My dad also died a couple of weeks ago, but I feel like I've handled it fairly well (better than expected anyway). We used to talk quite a bit and I too keep finding myself thinking that I must tell him about things I've seen or read; you're not alone. Hope you're doing ok today.
    • LilBytes 5y ago
      I'm glad you're feeling well all things considered. If or perhaps when that changes, don't hold it against yourself. That type of grief is humbling, initially destructive and absolutely crippling. I've experienced that loss and found the highs and lows to be challenging, but what ever feelings you have, you're not alone. It doesn't get easier, but, the pain does become familiar and less frequent. Best of luck to you.
  • ostenning 5y ago
    The passage of time is beyond daunting. The idea that in the blink of an eye my parents will be gone has never felt more true after being isolated from them and my home country for the past two years because of covid. My heart sincerely goes out to you.
  • devbas 5y ago
    So sorry to hear about your losses. Sending you a virtual hug through cyberspace.
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• Toutouxc 5y ago
  I'm visiting my parents in a few hours and it's probably going to suck. We've really been drifting apart since they found out I was vaccinated and actually taking Covid seriously. Ugly things were said about me being a dumb sheep brainwashed by uni education etc. Anyway, I'm joining the virtual all-HN hug. Some people have it worse, and if you (the person reading this) are one of those people, I want you to know that you matter and I want you to be safe and know that whatever is going on WILL blow over one day. If it helps to make you feel better, feel free to write me an email (contact in profile) about the things on your mind.
  • mbrodersen 5y ago
    If your views on Covid overrule your parents love for you then there wasn’t much love in the first place.
    • Toutouxc 5y ago
      I know what you mean, but this is actually not the case. I had a wonderful childhood and my parents are caring, loving people who supported me throughout uni and have always been, I believe, quite proud of me. Somewhere around 2019-2020 they both got hit by this huge wall of Qanon, pro-Russia and later anti-vax propaganda all mixed together into one clusterfuck conspiracy theory and they've been riding that wave since. That's the most terrifying thing about all this, they're both very normal and above-average intelligent people, my mum even has a master's degree.
      • mbrodersen 5y ago
        It is astonishing to me as well that conspiracy theories can fool even well educated intelligent people. I guess that the real reason why is because people are not that rational. Most human decisions are driven by values/feelings and then rationalised after the fact. That’s why you can have equally educated/intelligent people violently disagreeing about the interpretation of the same facts. This might help: https://streetepistemology.com/ https://streetepistemology.com/
  • deleted 5y ago
• xkbarkar 5y ago
  I spent christmas alone in a hotel. It was my choice over meeting family who wanted masks, rapid tests etc before meeting for christmas. I have followed every single piece of mandate for two years. Including double dose Moderna that I still have ptsd from. I am done, I had ribs a glass of cognac and witcher marathon alone in a 4 star hotel instead. Best christmas in a long time. Happy holidays to all and wish a wonderful 2022 to all of you.
  • Chris2048 5y ago
    But why in a hotel?
    • k8sToGo 5y ago
      Because better than spending alone time at home sometimes.
  • bartvk 5y ago
    Sounds like quite the treat! All the best for 2022 to you as well!
  • KennyBlanken 5y ago
    [flagged]
• deleted 5y ago
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• phtrivier 5y ago
  Good luck to all those who're lonely and sad about it. Hopefully this won't last, or you'll find a way to make the best of it. If you're in a position to have a sense of humor about it, think about how you're skipping all the Christmas diner conversations that are going to be even tougher this year, now that the world has turned into a real-life Facebook argument ! Cheers and take care of yourselves !
• unyttigfjelltol 5y ago
  On the plus side, holiday time off provides ample time to address problems, to lay the groundwork for a different-- I won't say better-- tomorrow.
• iammjm 5y ago
  This year I decided to finally stop participating in other people's illusions. I was raised Catholic but stopped believing about 15 years ago. Still, each year I went through the motions. This year I thought: I don't believe, I don't care, so why bother? This feels quite liberating and I'm proud of myself
  • technothrasher 5y ago
    Good for you! It’s so liberating to realize you don’t have to be pressured into pretending to be somebody you’re not, and there’s nothing wrong with being you. Of course, you can still enjoy Christmas without being into any of the religious stuff, if you wish. I’ve been an atheist since I realized religion wasn’t for me at about the age of six, and Christmas is actually fun for me because there’s no pressure. It’s just a bullshit holiday like any of the others and an excuse to celebrate, or not. If you don’t like it, you can just ignore parts or all of it.
  • maverick74 5y ago
    What made you stop believing? Any special event that you would like to share? I believe that it all comes down to "Love". That's the key. All other "rules" are mostly human-made. Your relationship with God is just that: a relationship between you and God. And that's YOUR business and God's! I too was raised a Catholic, but there are many places where priests are not as good as they should be. I think I'm lucky on that, that I had a good priest for the biggest part of my life. I developed interest in finding out more and, for the most part, most lay people's common knowledge is wrong. God does not want you locked up in a bunch of rules. God (even being apparently very absent) wants you to be happy thru Love. And that's all! (and, funny enough, the catholic church does defend that! It's just very sad they miss by a lot to put that into practice - but, then again, they are humans as well...).
    • thoms_a 5y ago
      The "bunch of rules" are guidelines laid out by the supposed creator of reality, who loves you and wishes for you to live in congruence with your true nature. You can ignore the guidelines, but that will come at a cost (mostly to yourself). That is how I understand Catholic virtues. The desire to rebel against this is the same instinct every child has when their parent tells them to brush their teeth and not binge-eat Halloween candy. But to each his own, rebellion is a compelling source of identity for the young. Not so much later in life.
• schwartzworld 5y ago
  Interesting. I have the exact opposite situation. I would love a December without Christmas. Once my kids are older, I'll be opting out of the holiday permanently, and I'll probably start going away for the whole month of December.
• civilized 5y ago
  If you're reading this, you're welcome in Christmas spirit to my house with my wife and two little ones and our little Christmas tree and our piano. We'll be doing our best to keep the kids busy as we have been and will be this long holiday break from school :)
• wruza 5y ago
  Hey, I didn’t even think of it before reading this post. Hug to everyone who did!
• devoutsalsa 5y ago
  I hope I'm alone, or someone is getting a free show. I'm not wearing pants. Also, Merry Christmas!
  • ausudhz 5y ago
    Go live on twitch! Oh oh oh
• fxtentacle 5y ago
  Your situation is way more common than you probably think. My IRC and discord channels have been very lively in the past 24h. Lots of shared good mood by people celebrating "alone by body, but not by mind".
• xmaas 5y ago
  I hear what you're saying, OP. Also spending Christmas alone here, but to me it's just another day too. Also, I'm not really a fan of Christmas anyway. We're bombarded with so many messages about Christmas being a time of happiness and togetherness, but it's with false intent; it's mostly all about guilting people into buying unnecessary consumer products for their loved ones, and increasing revenues for retailers. Christmas was stolen from the Christians and had the act of collective worship for their saviour - a genuine feeling of coming together as one with a community - replaced with secular commercialism. The modern icon of Christmas, Santa Claus, favours the rich above the poor, is used to promote a narrow and capitalist view of a worthwhile family time, and wasn't even crucified. Even as an atheist, I feel quite bad for the Christians that their festival has been upended with this nonsense. These days, I only wish Christians a Merry Christmas. Everyone else can just enjoy their Happy Holidays or Good Winterval or whatever.
• andreisbc 5y ago
  I'm looking to move and work in the US this year, together with my wife (she's a phd, I'm a dropout, both coming from the EU). Our plan is to grow a remote dev team to build cool products. We have access to professionals and can also tap into universities for promising students. If anyone feels like Santa, I can share my Linkedin profile. Best wishes
• trevorishere 5y ago
  This Christmas is significantly different for me. Normally it would be filled with friends and family, but not this year. I succeeded in hiking >10 miles yesterday and today, legs willing, I'll be at least spending part of the day in the PacNW forests to keep the depression at bay. <3 JWST was my Christmas present. I'm happy to see we've got final separation and the last view of the telescope. If anything, it's the best thing I could ask for today.
  • zeusk 5y ago
    aren't there snow storms out here in PacNW? do you have a blog where you document your journey through the forests?
    • bruceb 5y ago
      Rain, a little snow, but mostly just cold (very cold for here) in the next couple days at least in the Seattle metro area.
      • zeusk 5y ago
        Seattle sure, but in cascades/olympic region it's deep snow (where I believe majority of forest trails are).
        • bruceb 5y ago
          oops, I was wrong..
    • trevorishere 5y ago
      No blog; that’s not a bad idea, though. I just post pictures/videos on Instagram like every other good Millennial ;) Hiking is a way to clear my head. I had an 18 year relationship end not long ago — in 3 & 4th grade I had a teacher who would take us hiking on unofficial field trips. I realized I missed it and the connection with nature plus the isolation one can achieve given you avoid the popular hikes.
    • 5y ago
• dutchblacksmith 5y ago
  Thanks, one warm hug for your too
• podgaj 5y ago
  Yes I am. I am alone. I am disabled, and homeless living in my van. I have a family history of mental illness and even they abandoned me. My friends, I get it, they just did not understand what happened to me. I make $1600 on disability but I still cannot find housing. Even when people I love your sentiment but virtual hugs do not do it for me, nor for most people in my position. What do we need? An understanding of Mental Illness stigma, housing for the 60% of us homeless who have a serious mood disorder, lower cost housing for the disabled. All of these would give me stability and a community again where I can feel like I am part of something instead of being an outsider. There have been great people that helped me, and I hold no regrets because it reduces the stress and that helps me deal with my mental illness, but all the suffering comes right back, because here I am, alone again, in my van, in a vacant public park, on Christmas morning. You want to really hug me? Start a revolution.
  • zw123456 5y ago
    Hang in there friend!
  • uxcolumbo 5y ago
    I wish there were more tinyhouse communities - like these: https://www.tinyhouse.com/post/10-welcoming-tiny-house-communities-from-around-the-united-states https://www.tinyhouse.com/post/10-welcoming-tiny-house-commu...
• xvector 5y ago
  At some point I realized that the thing that bothered me about being alone was not the fact that I was alone, but that other people were not. Actually, I am quite content by myself. It was sort of an ego/"am I not good enough for someone else" feeling that made me feel negative. But, that is not a good reason to enter a relationship with someone. On balance, would I enjoy being in a relationship with someone? Questionable. I quite like the contentment, quietude, and freedom that comes with living by myself. In either case, not worth agonizing over.
• daedlanth 5y ago
  Well, being a religious event, I have to say that happiness while being alone is actually a gift from God. My kids have jobs and their mom doesn't crab at me anymore, Yay!!! I'm going to read the news, have breakfast and play some video games.
• zoomablemind 5y ago
  Thank you for the hug! I hug you too. We are all cave-people still, living now in our little caves, using tools that still require a lot of grinding to make and to use (mental mostly), still afraid of monsters and winters. We are still mesmerized by lightnings, storms, stars, and everything that happens above and inside us. We're curious about world and life around, scribble things on our walls, we sleep a lot, and dream! Ones in San Diego, CA, I saw a bunch of seals laying on nice stinky rocks, chatting about something with each other. Some younger pup was trying to crawl on other seal's head (just for fun of it, probably). So another bigger seal literally hugged the pup with that flapper arm of theirs and kept on telling whatever story that was. It worked! We hug, therefore we exist.
• vmihailenco 5y ago
  Happy Christmas
• pjmlp 5y ago
  Not in the same situation, but could have been so due to a very set of dark moments during 2021 that also made this Christmas a very sad one to myself. Have a big virtual hug.
• i13e 5y ago
  Thank you for this post, I spent the majority of Christmas '19 and '20 alone and it was in the middle of a very challenging time of my life. I'm very young and grateful for the friends and others that included me in their holiday celebrations, and having time alone to reflect and come to the realization that Christmas doesn't come from having family to share it with. While most traditional Christmas stories and many people focus on celebrating children, love and family, material goods, etc it's also about looking on the bright side of life, counting your blessings, and carrying on traditions. A happy Christmas is a choice, and my advice to all who are alone today is this: Build your own traditions, buy yourself something and wrap it up nice, decorate a tree, make gingerbread houses, or cook a meal you really like, whatever appeals to you. I'll leave you with the last line from How the Grinch Stole Christmas and a link to an In Our Time episode about (A Christmas Carol)[https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0012fl5 https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0012fl5]: "Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Who's far and near Christmas day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas day will always be, just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand."
• madroga 5y ago
  I think we are more alone than ever, as a virtual hug is not an actual hug. Better would be for us to stop being delusional and try harder to find a way to live in a real community where we can feel each other's warmth again. Thanks for the good intention, and a Merry Christmas to all.
• zscore 5y ago
  Merry Christmas OP. I'm not a christian and I wasn't feeling particularly odd about being alone today as compared to any other day. I had delicious Foul, Zaatar Manakish and Falafel in the breakfast today. The rest of the day couldn't be any better either Sending you a virtual hug nonetheless :)
• uniclaude 5y ago
  I vividly remember coding, moderating IRC channels and playing StarCraft while being alone on a Christmas night, lobbies were full of joy and wishes, games were fun, and I felt way less lonely than while spending time with people I didn’t really connect with. Christmas is seen as a moment to be spent with people, but IMO this day is only what you make of it. It is not bad to want to be totally alone, or connected with online randoms! There are many people in these virtual worlds that you probably share something with if you spend Christmas alone or are reading this message on Dec 25th. I’m glad HN exists. And if you really want another experice, go east if you can afford it, and enjoy in places where Dec 24/25th are just regular days.
  • rvnx 5y ago
    This Metaverse / NFT thing is depressing, I wouldn't recommend this. If you are alone, better take the "celebrations" as an opportunity to discover people that are a little bit of your usual circle by inviting them for a dinner or movie. The COVID-19 makes more people lonely, and actually, it's a positive thing for people who are usually alone because it makes it easier for them to live with the social stigma of being alone.
    • jpindar 5y ago
      This whole "people on the internet aren't real people" thing is SO 20th century.
    • uniclaude 5y ago
      I didn’t mean metaverse/nft, HN is a virtual world.
    • JimBlackwood 5y ago
      I don’t understand what can be depressing about other people finding company, wherever that may be? Maybe it’s me, I just never saw how things that make other people happy can be depressing for someone else.
• throwaway_nr_34 5y ago
  I ve lost my love and my mental health is deteriorating I really hope things get better
  • bartvk 5y ago
    Last year, I got caught in a divorce. If my experience is of any consolation, it will get better, I promise.
  • throwaway_nr_34 5y ago
    it feels like its getting worse and its all my fault!!!
• brncsk 5y ago
  This year, after a tumultuous breakup (that quite literally plunged me into my deepest crisis to day), I’m practicing being alone. Mostly because what lead to said breakup in the first place, was me being a relationship-addict, which at this point in my self-awareness journey I understand to be a transgenerational issue. Thus being with family does not help at all (even though I did my fair share of being with them yesterday). As opposed to OP, I’m less than happy about the whole thing understandably. What helps is hiking, I guess, trying to get a grip on whether doing it alone or with others helps more. I guess this is close to being rock bottom for me at this point, hope you guys feel at least a tiny bit ok.
  • matt89 5y ago
    I went through a breakup this year, which was (objectively looking) not too bad, because we managed to end on good terms, but left me personally very very sad and full of regrets. I'm also going through therapy right now, and these two things combined made me realise that I'm completely unprepared for being alone and that I very much resent it and think of being alone as a failure. And while in general I think that it's great and fulfilling to have good relationships with people, in my specific case I think I was similar to you - I have completely linked my personal happiness to being with someone and I paid too much attention to approval from other people. So I think I can partially relate. Right now I'm trying to find what I actually want from life and learn how to be alone and at peace. And I agree that hiking or simply wandering around the city alone is a great meditative experience that brings me some joy at least. I just wanted to say that I believe that with time it gets better, and trying to dig up from the lowest points of our lives is a big and rewarding challenge to have. I wish you peace and love; sending virtual hugs. You are not alone.
    • brncsk 5y ago
      Thank you Matt - your insight on thinking about yourself as a failure while being alone hit me quite hard, but also provided a piece of self reflection I did not have until now. As for this experience being an opportunity and a challenge - I totally agree, even though it does not seem so ATM. Let us both embrace this challenging-but-worthwile part of it, I guess, while also acknowledging the hard ones. Wish you love and peace as well along your journey!
• Existenceblinks 5y ago
  When I was a teenager (12-18) I often did meditation during 23:30 - 0:10 for new year countdown, pretty calm transition. And taking a walk (or running) 5:00am - 7:00am in the morning on Jan 1, it's pretty great start of new year. Recommended for lone wolf!
• seb_urban_plan 5y ago
  Please accept my warmest Christmas wishes - your message is very kind, and you have all my encouragement. Lately I've been coming back to reading short citations from philosophers. What's great is that you can chose any topic you like, and find quotes from all kinds of influential people on the topic (on one of the "quotes" cites, there are several) and see what the collective wisdom of civilizations has to propose - it's like a conversation with the past, and has been part of the solution for me. Most of all I would recommend reading Proverbs - consider it a toolbox to peruse - I think most anyone can find some "missing piece" there that can get one unstuck from whatever rut one might be in: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+1&version=NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+1&vers... Finally, if you feel up to it at some point, I would encourage you to seek out those who are also lonely - I've been doing music at retirement homes for a while now, and it's very worthwhile - perhaps there are charities involved in alleviating loneliness in your area - visiting, talking, organizing events... there is lots of room for creativity and meeting generous people. Best wishes, Sebastian.
• alektorophobiae 5y ago
  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! I'm an only child with a very small family, so our holidays were just me, mom, and dad. Growing up (and even a little bit today) I always felt lonely, especially when comparing our family to all the large Irish and Italian families that I went to grade school with. But the older I get, the more I focus on just being grateful for the time I still have with them. It does make me sad to think of when they pass away (my dad is 74 with health conditions). Virtual hugs to you all.
• leto_ii 5y ago
  >:D<
• hohoho2021 5y ago
  I have family at home so I’m not alone on a personal level. But in business, my co-founders have been gone for two years now. One silently sulking and one more or less retired. I’ve gone on to keep everything running for the sake of our employees but I feel a bit more like Scrooge in his counting house each year when I’m chugging along on Christmas Eve. As an ecomm play, the holidays are also mark the end of our busy season. So it’s a lot at once, but I try to keep in mind that I am still happier working for myself than I ever was working for someone else. I am also so grateful for all the joy we bring to the world.
• charcircuit 5y ago
  There are a lot of Christmas streams you can go and watch today. Who needs family when you have online friends to hang out with.
• hszeeks 5y ago
  Thank you so much for this. I just had a Christmas dinner alone spiraling on how much of a failure i am given my horrible social skill. But this really cheer me up!
• screye 5y ago
  I am spending Christmas 'alone' , but together with a bunch of solo travellers on a backpacking trip. My loneliness was a result of US visa regulations cancelling my plans to meet my loved ones, but I do wonder about all of my other co-travellers. They're bunch of white Americans aged 40-70? for whom Christmas would usually be a big day. I dont know them well enough to ask personal questions about family, but a backpacking crew does feel like comforting place to be 'alone'. America's holidays are so strongly tied to the last week of Dec (24-31), that not having any plans can feel really isolating even if you don't care for Christmas. Calling friends on that long week to ask to hang out and repeatedly realizing that everyone has 'plans', can make you feel super left out. For a while I did wonder if I was being actively left out. Then realized that being a single guy without family in the US means having to find the few others like you who WILL make plans in November. Either seek them out or lead the planning efforts. But, trying to find a plan to hop on into in December is a terrible idea.
• kevintan2019 5y ago
  yes, you are not alone man... me too, still had family but no friends, but it's okay :)
• lottin 5y ago
  Thank you. I just want to add that there's nothing wrong about being alone. You can be happy, and you can have an interesting life, without having to be always in company of other people.
• maverick74 5y ago
  There are also those who have lost many loved ones... For those, Christmas is a mix of happiness and sadness. Happiness if there is someone left with who to share our life with, sadness for missing those who left... You're not alone either!
• zawazawa 5y ago
  Thanks for this post. As alone as one could be this Christmas. Family over 8000km away, and no real friends or significant other to spend it with. Have a huge deadline on January 6th but I cant bring myself to work any more for that today.
• deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
• cannabis_sam 5y ago
  I’m in the same position, but it’s okay. Have a virtual hug back! And a virtual hug to anyone else who needs it!!
• treebot 5y ago
  I am not spending Christmas alone, but sometimes I wish I was. The holidays are the toughest time of year for me, because they bring up bad memories from my childhood, and the darkness of winter amplifies it and makes me feel dead inside. Every year around the holidays I have at least one really bad breakdown, and I'm just way more vulnerable emotionally, so everything hurts so much more and for longer. The pain generally has to do with relationships with other people though, so being alone helps. I don't know if it would be better to be totally alone, as OP is, but spending extensive amounts of time with family or a romantic partner is just terrible for me. Cheers OP, buy yourself a gift.
• nomorecommas 5y ago
  Bah humbug!
• mathnode 5y ago
  My thoughts are with you and everyone else. I love you all. The H in hackernews can sometimes also mean, Human , Human News.
• vuciv1 5y ago
  Hey. Thanks for doing this. Most of my Christmases have been alone. No relationship with my parents. But for the first time this year, I reached out to spend Christmas with my bestfriend and his family. Its a lot of fun. I also met the love of my life, and although she's traveling with her family right now, we are getting engaged soon and she reassures me ill never have to spend a Christmas alone. I never thought I'd spend a Christmas with loved ones in my life, so if you are feeling alone, just know that it could change. Much love, and merry christmas
• andreyk 5y ago
  I often wish HN had an official forum, or even a discord, where people could discuss whatever and not just trending articles. There are many like minded people here, so it feels like it could be more of an online community than it is right now. Anyway, indeed, virtual hugs to those alone these holidays!
• mwattsun 5y ago
  Merry Christmas to all my Navy brothers and sisters stuck underwater on a submarine today! Hopefully the galley cook saved something good for a nice Christmas dinner
• e-clinton 5y ago
  Being alone is underrated.
• zw123456 5y ago
  Hey thanks for this, super nice gesture. Some of the stories posted really touched me. I am alone too, but to be completely honest, I actually am kind of relieved. The holidays were always a stressful time for me, our family dynamic is not very good and now after 2 years, everyone is drifting apart, and it's kind of a relief. I am going to be doing a little virtual celebration and chatting online with a couple of friends but other than that, no stressful travel, no stressful family gatherings, no listening to racist right-wing rants from ignorant relatives, no rushing around to get ready for the holidays. Actually, I am kind of digging this.
• electrotype 5y ago
  Even if I'm unvaccinated? Merry Christmas to you too.
• mehdix 5y ago
  I understand you OP. I'll add a little bit of my story hoping it would comfort you or people in similar situations. I went through a divorce with a massive emotional rollercoaster which devastated me for a few years. Lost excellent job/research opportunities/offers. Lost contact with family, friends and mates. Got social anxiety, avoided people and felt unprecedentedly alone. Life pushed me off my limits and left me crushed and helpless. But I survied. Got a deeper appreciation for good things in life. For time, for loved ones, for humans, for I am one. Tried my luck with a new job, joined again some communities recovered some of my old hobbies and good habits. I got to know myself better. The thing is, it will pass. What helped me was deriving value from within and jogging. I wish you luck and Merry Christmas!
• nfkrk8j 5y ago
• Kirtirajsinh 5y ago
  Sending Virtual Hugs Bro. Sending you best wishes for the Next Year.
• hackernj 5y ago
  Virtual hug from me across the pond!
• happyweasel 5y ago
  The time around christmas and new year is always a great time for diving into personal projects while taking the minimum time off..
• curious_cat_163 5y ago
  And a virtual hug back at ya!
• moondistance 5y ago
  Love you all, HN. Virtual hug right back. Merry Christmas :)
• rectang 5y ago
  New video, released two days ago, for an old Joni Mitchell song, River: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLHxxBTl71I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLHxxBTl71I > "River expresses regret at the end of a relationship... but it's also about being lonely at Christmas time... A Christmas song for people who are lonely at Christmas! We need a song like that." — Joni Mitchell
• YsdtSupa 5y ago
• YsdtSupaDupa 5y ago
• YsdtSupaDupa 5y ago
• _8j50 5y ago
  Who cares. There are 364 other days
• pkdpic 5y ago
  This is a great post and a reminder that HN is a great platform / community. It also seems like a reminder that the internet really does have the power to bring people together in meaningful substantive ways. Especially when there are still social platforms that allow for clear minimally augmented communication between individuals. Thank you for the inspiring post and thank you HN for an inspiring year!
  • johnisgood 5y ago
    I do not intend to ruin the mood, but these kind of posts are available on Facebook as well (there are A LOT of them), but we would not call that a great platform. :P
• jollybean 5y ago
  You are not alone! But take some time to make a nice dinner if you can. Little things make a big difference. Merry Christmas.
• ragingrobot 5y ago
  I'm in the same boat, no family or friends to share with. It's been a wet and dreary day here in NJ, spent all of it outside. The sun came out for a few minutes, and grabbed a steak from the freezer. It's gone away again now, but too late. Screw it, I'm barbequing myself a steak for Christmas. All of you out there alone today, enjoy. Get out that (perhaps metaphorical) steak of yours and enjoy.
• bradlys 5y ago
  Well, we’re alone. Let’s not trivialize it. But we should also try to normalize loneliness more and accept people who are in such situations. Potentially accepting that they don’t want to be in that situation and building a culture around bringing people together who don’t have a family, large group of close friends, etc. I’m in the same boat. I have friends but they’re spread out through the country. On top of that - most of them spend time with their families during these holidays. I’m the weird one who is estranged from his entire family, has few friends nearby, and is now single. It used to be I spent this time of the year traveling the world and spending my Christmas with my ex. But I’ll be spending the next few christmases alone while I try to find another partner.
• RuggedPineapple 5y ago
  I got engaged to my girlfriend this year. Our christmas is going to be just us and my best friend whose decided she just can't with her antivax family during a covid-era family gathering. Not what I was expecting from the holidays, but also a reminder that family that you build yourself is just as valid!
• tekkk 5y ago
  The worse side about these things is that you can't vent out your sadness or general feelings to anyone. Which is I think what people really need. Not a huge host of siblings and friends but just emotional closure to have your feelings validated and accepted. It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to not to feel sad. It's hard to do so without being really close with someone but I wish all could have speck of shared empathy from this thread. We are not just boxes of text but real people around the world who all have their share of good and bad. Pushing away feelings does work and you get lot of things done doing so. But I don't recommend doing so in the long run - the re-prioritization can be quite shock once you notice all the stuff don't bring you that much joy.
• betwixthewires 5y ago
  I am too. But I wanted to be this year. I could be with family right now. I don't want to be. There's only 1 person I wish was here, but that person had prior commitments today, and that's OK. I just have to wait a few days. I'm having a good Christmas alone.
• mancerayder 5y ago
  We live in a time that, even before covid, there are a record number of single people in their 30's and 40's (in the U.S. and some Western European countries I am assuming as well), and to go one step further, a record number with no interest in having kids (or some fear that's keeping them). [1] We live in a different times. Many are alone. 1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202009/record-number-americans-have-never-married-and-never-will https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202009...
• jglauche 5y ago
  Virtual Hug back <3
• sidechaining 5y ago
  That’s very sweet, thanks! I’m dealing with the loss of my father and the holiday season just feels a lot more...poignant? sobering? I wish the timeline for grief weren’t as protracted as it seems to be
• code_monk666 5y ago
  I am terrified of being alone. Thankfully I have a bunch of good friends but it's been hard to meet them due to covid. Is it better to be alone or be in a relationship that you are sort of okay with and not completely happy with it?
• neycoda 5y ago
  You're never alone with the best Christmas movie ever made, Die Hard.