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It's not the marketing. It's the fact that it's what biologists call expensive signaling. You are spending money, not on a trip that you both enjoy, but on a

It's not the marketing. It's the fact that it's what biologists call expensive signaling. You are spending money, not on a trip that you both enjoy, but on a ring that really only she enjoys. This is an expensive (therefore hard to fake) signal that you care about how she feels. Now, imagine that the diamond is cheaper. It is no longer an expensive signal. Therefore, although the diamond is the same, it no longer serves the same purpose. So, the cheaper diamonds get, the less demand there is from prospective brides, even if only marginally. This fuels further declines, although that is probably already happening due to better industrial diamonds. This takes time, of course. But that also means it has a lot of momentum. As the price decline continues, and the word of that spreads, it will accelerate.

standardUser 7y ago
This reminds me of the popular idea of "love languages". I was always baffled by the idea that some people considered "gifts" to be the most important way to express love. But diamond rings seem to fit this paradigm perfectly.
- magduf 7y ago
  No, it's different. For instance, gift-giving is a really big deal in Asian cultures. It's not about throwing lots of money around, it's just showing that you're thinking of someone, so gifts can be very small and inexpensive. So gift-giving is certainly a valid love language, just like physical touch, words of affection, etc. Some people just really like to give their loved one small gifts, and some people really like getting them. They can be small clothing items, candies/food, whatever. Diamonds aren't "small gifts"; they're absurdly expensive ornaments. Their primary purpose is so American women can show off to other women how much money their husbands have. It's a bit like having a really expensive luxury car: it's a signal to others to show you're rich, not a way for someone to show affection to another. Edit: About Asian cultures, I'll also add, it's just just lovers. Coworkers will frequently get each other small gifts, or gifts for everyone on the team. This is usually small food items, not anything at all expensive. They might do this if they travel somewhere. I had an Asian (i.e., he had just moved from SE Asia for this job) coworker once give everyone on our team some nice variety of tea, for instance.
  - phjesusthatguy3 7y ago
    It's like buying lunch. When your manager does it, you thank him. When your cow-orker does it, you think "what is this guy up to?"
    - throwawaymath 7y ago
      Why are you suspicious of a coworker buying you lunch?
      - magduf 7y ago
        I sure would be. Why would someone spend that much money on me unless they're a closer relation? Buying small gifts for coworkers is one thing, but buying lunch is a bit much. I wouldn't spend more than $5 on a gift for a coworker.
      - blaser-waffle 7y ago
        Cuz he's making, presumably, the same amount of money I am (or in the same ballpark). So either he got a raise, or he has an agenda...
    - MikePlacid 7y ago
      When my manager tried to pay for my lunch, I declined and paid myself (I am from Russia, we had no such tradition at that time). The feelings I had were a mix of: a) is he trying to make me a teacher’s pet? I am not a teacher’s pet; b) is he trying to show that he has some power over me except paying my salary? At lunch break? He has no power over me except paying my salary, I can well afford to buy my own lunch. An American visiting from other company was completely dumbfounded: Why have you paid yourself?? He is your boss, it’s his responsibility to pay when he invites you to lunch!! ...And I was completely dumbfounded observing his reaction: have Americans no pride?
  - praptak 7y ago
    I have heard that it's good taste for those gifts to be impermanent. Sort of opposite of the diamond.
- oarabbus_ 7y ago
  >I was always baffled by the idea that some people considered "gifts" to be the most important way to express love. I'm baffled that you're baffled. Gift-giving is common in every culture, country, and religion in the world.
  - blacksmith_tb 7y ago
    The function of gift-giving was an early topic of social anthropology, a classic treatment being Mauss' _Essai sur la Don_ [1]. It contains the (to me) stunning Inuit proverb "Gifts make slaves like whips make dogs" - gift-giving binds the recipient to the giver, it leaves them obligated. Which is not the rosy picture we have of it, but worth thinking about in this context (or any other). 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_(book)
puranjay 7y ago
I don't know if it's so much about the money as it is something that she just... wanted. I'm Indian so its custom to gift the bride a lot of gold. She eschewed that happily in favor of a diamond ring that cost a fraction of the gold she was offered otherwise. But she loves her ring and has never spent a day without it. She will happily wear faux silver earrings but the ring is non negotiable.
- tomp 7y ago
  You're deluding yourself. She could not have at the same time "just wanted" a diamond ring and also "just wanted" you to overpay it 100x times (she cannot notice the difference, so a diamond and a non-diamond ring are functionally equivalent in her eyes, except that you're paying less for one of them)...
  - miketuritzin 7y ago
    It's also worth noting that it's possible to "just want" something for reasons that one isn't consciously aware of (e.g., feeling physically attracted to markers of health and fertility).
- roenxi 7y ago
  Your wife might be special, but there are differences in the signalling of a diamond and gold despite their superficial similarities. Gold is famous for holding its resale value; so a gift of gold can in theory be unwound to recover the money spent. It is a signal of wealth. Diamonds cannot be resold, the money may as well have been burned. It is a signal of wealth and commitment. There is also the added bonus that a diamond is not going to be stolen.
  - bsanr2 7y ago
    >Diamonds cannot be resold. I wasn't aware of this. What's the rationale?
    - sbierwagen 7y ago
DoctorOetker 7y ago
so with blood diamonds, this is effectively... Proof of Violence? it really is marketing, since the value signalling could just occur by wiring your wife $20k or whatever, no need to violate overseas human rights
- yellowapple 7y ago
  Apparently it ain't the monetary value, per the other comments, which leads me to believe that what makes a diamond ring romantic is specifically the human suffering. Suddenly Padmé agreeing to marry a guy who slaughtered an entire village of Sand People and monologued to her about it makes a lot more sense.
lordnacho 7y ago
Then why not buy a moissanite golf ball for her to wear? Just as expensive, but blinding signal.
- drcross 7y ago
  Welcome to the irrationality (or pseudo rationality) of the human race. My hope is these materials flood the market like this article alludes to so that the market is destroyed and we can move on to something else. Another "fitness indicator" that im happy to see go is the preference for a sports car among young men.
  - lordnacho 7y ago
    As one of those guys formerly, I can only agree. Does very little for you in terms of satisfaction. Or proving fitness for that matter. Ended up selling my fancy Italian car to a guy who actually understood cars.
im3w1l 7y ago
I think explaining it as just signalling is taking a too narrow view of it. Having a diamond wedding ring is like having a turkey for thanksgiving. That's just the way it's done. It's a part of the culture, maybe you could even say there are religious elements to it. And that was achieved through marketing.
- c5karl 7y ago
  > and that was achieved through marketing To elaborate: The "tradition" of diamond engagement rings only dates back to the 1930s, invented almost whole cloth by the DeBeers cartel to sell diamonds. For that reason, I think saying it's a "part of the culture" overstates things. This is not a long tradition that connects us to our ancestors.
  - girvo 7y ago
    Slightly off topic, but what are some traditions that connect us to our ancestors in modern western society? I honestly can’t think of any as a Kiwi living in Australia with a Scottish ancestry and that makes me a bit sad now that I think about it
    - lurquer 7y ago
      Well, there's the long-standing tradition of Anglos exploring and settling the ends of the earth... as a Scot/Kiwi/Australian, in regard to this particular tradition, perhaps you can't see the forest for the trees! ;)
    - el_dev_hell 7y ago
      1. Smashing a schooner glass at the pub and collectively yelling "Taxi" as a visceral response (this must have taken generations to embed). 2. Keeping mental tabs on which mate always ducks out before they buy the round and making up for it at a BBQ by grabbing a beer out of their Esky. Possibly leading to a fist fight at around 11:30PM and then making up at around 12:01AM. 3. "Sorry mate" as the default response when you're unable to grab the door for a stranger because you're a few CMs too far away.
lakisy 7y ago
It's the marketing. When I married, I suggest that we should spent the same amount of money to buy something that's looks like a diamond but it's not a diamond. No go. The price would be the same. So the expensive signal was there. Nope. She wanted a diamond. If it's not a diamond, it's not real.

standardUser 7y ago

This reminds me of the popular idea of "love languages". I was always baffled by the idea that some people considered "gifts" to be the most important way to express love. But diamond rings seem to fit this paradigm perfectly.

magduf 7y ago
No, it's different. For instance, gift-giving is a really big deal in Asian cultures. It's not about throwing lots of money around, it's just showing that you're thinking of someone, so gifts can be very small and inexpensive. So gift-giving is certainly a valid love language, just like physical touch, words of affection, etc. Some people just really like to give their loved one small gifts, and some people really like getting them. They can be small clothing items, candies/food, whatever. Diamonds aren't "small gifts"; they're absurdly expensive ornaments. Their primary purpose is so American women can show off to other women how much money their husbands have. It's a bit like having a really expensive luxury car: it's a signal to others to show you're rich, not a way for someone to show affection to another. Edit: About Asian cultures, I'll also add, it's just just lovers. Coworkers will frequently get each other small gifts, or gifts for everyone on the team. This is usually small food items, not anything at all expensive. They might do this if they travel somewhere. I had an Asian (i.e., he had just moved from SE Asia for this job) coworker once give everyone on our team some nice variety of tea, for instance.
- phjesusthatguy3 7y ago
  It's like buying lunch. When your manager does it, you thank him. When your cow-orker does it, you think "what is this guy up to?"
  - throwawaymath 7y ago
    Why are you suspicious of a coworker buying you lunch?
    - magduf 7y ago
      I sure would be. Why would someone spend that much money on me unless they're a closer relation? Buying small gifts for coworkers is one thing, but buying lunch is a bit much. I wouldn't spend more than $5 on a gift for a coworker.
    - blaser-waffle 7y ago
      Cuz he's making, presumably, the same amount of money I am (or in the same ballpark). So either he got a raise, or he has an agenda...
  - MikePlacid 7y ago
    When my manager tried to pay for my lunch, I declined and paid myself (I am from Russia, we had no such tradition at that time). The feelings I had were a mix of: a) is he trying to make me a teacher’s pet? I am not a teacher’s pet; b) is he trying to show that he has some power over me except paying my salary? At lunch break? He has no power over me except paying my salary, I can well afford to buy my own lunch. An American visiting from other company was completely dumbfounded: Why have you paid yourself?? He is your boss, it’s his responsibility to pay when he invites you to lunch!! ...And I was completely dumbfounded observing his reaction: have Americans no pride?
- praptak 7y ago
  I have heard that it's good taste for those gifts to be impermanent. Sort of opposite of the diamond.
oarabbus_ 7y ago
>I was always baffled by the idea that some people considered "gifts" to be the most important way to express love. I'm baffled that you're baffled. Gift-giving is common in every culture, country, and religion in the world.
- blacksmith_tb 7y ago
  The function of gift-giving was an early topic of social anthropology, a classic treatment being Mauss' _Essai sur la Don_ [1]. It contains the (to me) stunning Inuit proverb "Gifts make slaves like whips make dogs" - gift-giving binds the recipient to the giver, it leaves them obligated. Which is not the rosy picture we have of it, but worth thinking about in this context (or any other). 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_(book)

puranjay 7y ago

I don't know if it's so much about the money as it is something that she just... wanted. I'm Indian so its custom to gift the bride a lot of gold. She eschewed that happily in favor of a diamond ring that cost a fraction of the gold she was offered otherwise. But she loves her ring and has never spent a day without it. She will happily wear faux silver earrings but the ring is non negotiable.

tomp 7y ago
You're deluding yourself. She could not have at the same time "just wanted" a diamond ring and also "just wanted" you to overpay it 100x times (she cannot notice the difference, so a diamond and a non-diamond ring are functionally equivalent in her eyes, except that you're paying less for one of them)...
- miketuritzin 7y ago
  It's also worth noting that it's possible to "just want" something for reasons that one isn't consciously aware of (e.g., feeling physically attracted to markers of health and fertility).
roenxi 7y ago
Your wife might be special, but there are differences in the signalling of a diamond and gold despite their superficial similarities. Gold is famous for holding its resale value; so a gift of gold can in theory be unwound to recover the money spent. It is a signal of wealth. Diamonds cannot be resold, the money may as well have been burned. It is a signal of wealth and commitment. There is also the added bonus that a diamond is not going to be stolen.
- bsanr2 7y ago
  >Diamonds cannot be resold. I wasn't aware of this. What's the rationale?
  - sbierwagen 7y ago

DoctorOetker 7y ago

so with blood diamonds, this is effectively... Proof of Violence? it really is marketing, since the value signalling could just occur by wiring your wife $20k or whatever, no need to violate overseas human rights

yellowapple 7y ago
Apparently it ain't the monetary value, per the other comments, which leads me to believe that what makes a diamond ring romantic is specifically the human suffering. Suddenly Padmé agreeing to marry a guy who slaughtered an entire village of Sand People and monologued to her about it makes a lot more sense.

lordnacho 7y ago

Then why not buy a moissanite golf ball for her to wear? Just as expensive, but blinding signal.

drcross 7y ago
Welcome to the irrationality (or pseudo rationality) of the human race. My hope is these materials flood the market like this article alludes to so that the market is destroyed and we can move on to something else. Another "fitness indicator" that im happy to see go is the preference for a sports car among young men.
- lordnacho 7y ago
  As one of those guys formerly, I can only agree. Does very little for you in terms of satisfaction. Or proving fitness for that matter. Ended up selling my fancy Italian car to a guy who actually understood cars.

im3w1l 7y ago

I think explaining it as just signalling is taking a too narrow view of it. Having a diamond wedding ring is like having a turkey for thanksgiving. That's just the way it's done. It's a part of the culture, maybe you could even say there are religious elements to it. And that was achieved through marketing.

c5karl 7y ago
> and that was achieved through marketing To elaborate: The "tradition" of diamond engagement rings only dates back to the 1930s, invented almost whole cloth by the DeBeers cartel to sell diamonds. For that reason, I think saying it's a "part of the culture" overstates things. This is not a long tradition that connects us to our ancestors.
- girvo 7y ago
  Slightly off topic, but what are some traditions that connect us to our ancestors in modern western society? I honestly can’t think of any as a Kiwi living in Australia with a Scottish ancestry and that makes me a bit sad now that I think about it
  - lurquer 7y ago
    Well, there's the long-standing tradition of Anglos exploring and settling the ends of the earth... as a Scot/Kiwi/Australian, in regard to this particular tradition, perhaps you can't see the forest for the trees! ;)
  - el_dev_hell 7y ago
    1. Smashing a schooner glass at the pub and collectively yelling "Taxi" as a visceral response (this must have taken generations to embed). 2. Keeping mental tabs on which mate always ducks out before they buy the round and making up for it at a BBQ by grabbing a beer out of their Esky. Possibly leading to a fist fight at around 11:30PM and then making up at around 12:01AM. 3. "Sorry mate" as the default response when you're unable to grab the door for a stranger because you're a few CMs too far away.

lakisy 7y ago

It's the marketing. When I married, I suggest that we should spent the same amount of money to buy something that's looks like a diamond but it's not a diamond. No go. The price would be the same. So the expensive signal was there. Nope. She wanted a diamond. If it's not a diamond, it's not real.