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A Solution for Loneliness: Get out and volunteer, research suggests

• jcims 7y ago
  Folks can say what they want about religion, but I have a feeling that church plays a larger role in maintaining a healthy society than it is given credit in some circles.
  • fwip 7y ago
    Agreed, it's important to have community.
    • Circuits 7y ago
      Okay but religion and church aren't a necessary component for community.
      • penagwin 7y ago
        I'm not religious, but I certainly think there's value in large groups of people with similar interests meeting in a positive environment.
      • blotter_paper 7y ago
        I think that a bunch of basic social functions started out as religious and are now carried out by atheists and the like (marriages, potlatches, etc.). In a pre-scientific world, everything was religious. What is a church but community and religion? If we can strip the religion from marriage, why not church? I know atheists who attend Unitarian Universalist churches for the community (and my parents took me as a kid, my dad an atheist and my mom a mushy-not-really-religious-but-believes-in-somethingist). It's not for me, but that's probably a social issue related to how I respond to those sorts of groups and not really related to religion. Secular churches do exist.
        • Circuits 7y ago
          In my experience (15 years or so) most people who attended my church didn't rush home or spend any time outside of church worshiping/praising their god. Even when I was at church, outside of the sermon, no one was talking about god or religion. Hell.. in my experience, with my religion, most people have never even read the book that the religion was based off of and knew very little about it when quizzed and yes I did quiz them from time to time. So, aside from a few outliers, I have always been under the impression that most people attending church get far more enjoyment from the social aspects than the religious ones.
          • tathougies 7y ago
            My experience is the complete opposite. Of course there's the social aspect, but almost every family had their own devotions they did outside of church. I remember clearly our teachers asking everyone in our class of 30+ in Catholic school to share our family's family-specific religious traditions. I think coming from a tradition rich with symbolism and tangible activities as devotions (Catholicism) helps with that.
          • humanrebar 7y ago
            > I have always been under the impression that most people attending church get far more enjoyment from the social aspects than the religious ones You were clearly not a Pentacostal then.
    • FabHK 7y ago
      It is very important to have community. However, church is but one way to achieve that (others are good city planning, with pedestrian oriented small town centres; a strong secular society with institutions and clubs supporting hobbies and sports, etc.) The problem with the church as the main provider of community (and values) is (at least) twofold: 1. It tends to impose some bad values with the good values (not to mention bad epistemology and ontology), and, 2. when people notice that and leave church, they a) also lose their community (which can be devastating), and b) sometimes throw out the good values with the bad.
      • toasterlovin 7y ago
        The problems you've described are problems with all human organizations, not just churches/religions.
        • FabHK 7y ago
          1. Few human organisations nowadays promote values as bad as most religions. 2. You can be a member of several overlapping organizations, but only one church, normally. So, the problem of losing a community is exacerbated with church.
          • toasterlovin 7y ago
            > 1. Few human organisations nowadays promote values as bad as most religions. It sounds like your mind is inhabited by a caricature of religion, rather than a realistic conception of the thing. For instance, our neighborhood church uses their facilities to provide (secular) services to the local community. They also organize a monthly service day where community members (not just their congregation) provide help to people in need. Many other churches do similar things. And there is a reason why so many hospitals in the U.S. have religious names: they were started by churches. If you want to hold religion to account for the bad that they contribute, you also have to give them credit for the good. And I think once you start doing that, you'll find that it's all pretty much a wash.
            • 7y ago
  • deleted 7y ago
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  • iagooar 7y ago
    I have to agree with this. One thing I miss the most after realizing I didn't believe in God and after I stopped going to church (= being part of the community) is that I had a lot harder time to find a group that I truly belonged to. It's not as much that you have to like each and every person in the group, is more about knowing that you're there for each other and share a bigger, common understanding of life. I guess that volunteering kind of has the same advantages, since people volunteering have a bigger goal (= serving others) and accept that they need to be together in this with other volunteers.
    • LurkerAtTheGate 7y ago
      For years, I attended church with a girlfriend, despite not believing as they do. Many were very accepting, particularly the church officiate - gf + I went out to lunch with him weekly for debates. 4 years and no one convinced the other of anything but it definitely refined my own arguments. No church member ever complained of an extra atheist's hand when volunteering.
      • Spectral 7y ago
        I'm in the same situation as you were, except just starting out and going for some nice discussions/debates. What's your situation now (assuming you don't attend anymore) and any important learned experiences & lessons you care to pass on?
    • true_tuna 7y ago
      Perhaps you could explore some humanist groups in your area. There’s nothing special about the religious ideology that means it’s the only one that can create community. Keep in mind that when you leave your religious ideology behind you don’t have no ideology, you have a new ideology. There are surely people out there who have adopted a similar ideology.
  • hangonhn 7y ago
    Some churches and most volunteer organizations have one thing in common: altruistic people . That's not to say there aren't annoying people involved but I've made some excellent friends via volunteering because those organizations don't have much of an appeal to jerks. Also a shared purpose can help bridge some gaps and initiate contact between people. The number of organizations that can use people skilled in STEM is quite high. It doesn't even have to be directly related to our profession. Even understanding algebra is good enough for many mentoring/tutoring organizations. One organization I was involved with for years told me that just showing up on time every week was pretty damn good for the students I mentored because they so rarely get a stable adult relationship in their lives. All that to say that if you're on HN, you have a lot to offer and maybe get some great friendships in return.
    • User23 7y ago
      Both churches and non-profits are actually jerk magnets. Why? Because jerks know they can buffalo the altruistic majority to gain power in and eventually control over the organization.
    • tdb7893 7y ago
      I would agree with the caveat it really depends on the church and organization. From growing up I'm definitely familiar with people in churches acting very petty and I assume non profits are the same.
    • c0nsumer 7y ago
      I would posit that it's almost best if your volunteering is not really related to your profession at all. This keeps it fresh and interesting. I started riding bikes about 11 years ago and volunteering about 10. I've met a LOT of people, made some good friends, and after accomplishing some goals felt a nice sense of achievement that work stuff just doesn't quite get me. Pretty sure I'm a better person than I was 10 years ago, and the social and community aspects of volunteering stuff are almost guaranteed to be a big part of that. (Note: Long-time lead-type IT person here who volunteers as a board member, trail builder, and map maker for a local mountain biking group. What I do at work is helpful for the volunteer stuff, but as it's not related it's something neat that I look forward to; not just more work.)
  • mymythisisthis 7y ago
    No, don't do it. The people that attend churches are the most egotistical, delusional, and vapid people you'll meet. Think of an elderly, out of touch grandmother, getting to tell people how they should lead their lives. Go and volunteer at cool organization. I don't know where you live but most cities have a couple of organizations that are with it. Start with hacker spaces.
    • toasterlovin 7y ago
      Have you actually participated in a church community? If so, have you participated in more than one? What you're describing does not match my experience at any of the churches I've belonged to. At all.
    • bluedino 7y ago
      Certain churches are definitely filled with very judgemental people and full of cliques.
      • bobblywobbles 7y ago
        Yes, but that happens everywhere. It's very easy for us to point fingers at a group labeled as "good" and point out their flaws, when in fact these flaws exist everywhere. Much easier to call out a group that is "good" that they are "bad", when in fact the "bad-ness" gets spread equally around people whether or not they are in this "good" community.
        • bluedino 7y ago
          Conversely, high school was a great time for some people as they had friends and support, while it was the worst time of other peoples lives. There are many people who were forced out of churches or treated poorly and will never go back.
        • ionised 7y ago
          The 'badness' in people is supposed to be tempered or mitigated by these 'good communities' though. That's their whole point. If they can't even manage to better people as part of their church than the average person is then what good is it other than creating cliques and an 'us versus them' mentality?
  • kurthr 7y ago
    And in the UK, the local pub. Community is a good thing.
    • WalterSear 7y ago
      Exactly. Church.
    • hn_throwaway_99 7y ago
      Totally agree with this. As an American, I really came to envy "pub culture" of the UK and how much of an integral part of socialization that it is.
      • loblollyboy 7y ago
        Except when there's 10+ hours of footy on Sat and Sunday, then meeting up with all your rowdy mates for some Monday Night Football, taking it back to the continent Tuesday-Thursday before ringing in the long week with [Corporate Sponsor] Cup Final on Friday.
      • seppin 7y ago
        There is a lack of a third place in American society. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
    • raverbashing 7y ago
      But I have the impression this does not work so well with younger people They're usually in their own groups also they try different pubs every time so not really regulars (except for bigger club type places) Local pub seems to be more the older people
  • wesammikhail 7y ago
    I have, for as long as I can remember, held the Sam Harris / Dawkins view that religion is nothing but an archaic and evil form of cattle management system. But the older I get and the more I contend with what religion actually is rather than what it is understood to be by the anti-theists, the more I approximate your understanding of the matter. The social fabric is being torn apart and there are virtually no institutions left to hold it together. This will most likely not end up in a very promising future for my generation and the ones to come after it.
    • FabHK 7y ago
      Yes, but one reason they are torn apart is that people see the (terrible) flaws in these old systems of holding society together and abandon them, while new and better systems are slow to gain a foothold. Some places manage to have community without religion, and that, I think, is what one ought to aspire to. (Edit -> Some places)
      • leereeves 7y ago
        People see the terrible flaws and little else because the media distorts the truth. The Westboro Baptist Church gets more media attention than a thousand inclusive churches.
        • FabHK 7y ago
          Well, I think reading "holy" books is quite enough to see those flaws, and the media in many places are far too reverent to the regionally prevailing religion; but maybe that's a discussion for a different venue. My point pertinent to this discussion was that community is important, and thus it's a problem if community is based on wrong or unethical ideas. It puts you in a terrible quandary (consider also Nazi Germany, the Sowjet Union under Stalin, etc.).
          • leereeves 7y ago
            You can't fairly judge modern churches by the text of ancient books. Most churches have abandoned a literal interpretation of ancient holy books in favor of some variation of the idea that God's true message was distorted, embellished, or censored by the flawed humans who recorded it.
  • maxxxxx 7y ago
    That’s something I sometimes envy in religious people. Wherever they go they have a ready network in place. That’s pretty nice. I think one of the advantages of the US is that for me as a foreigner the patriotism here also feels like a religion which gives the country cohesion.
    • trevyn 7y ago
      You might want to check out the Unitarian Universalists, they provide many of the social benefits of organized religion without a specific belief system attached.
      • revx 7y ago
        As I mentioned on another comment: I am a Unitarian Universalist and an athiest, married to a seminarian in the religion. Happy to answer questions about UU and what it's like. It has definitely made me far less lonely to belong to the UU community, and I don't feel pressured to "believe" anything I don't want to.
        • bscphil 7y ago
          Okay, I have a question. You guys have weekly services, right? What do you do? I assume there are no songs to sing, and so someone has to do the speaking. What do they talk about? Since there's no formal religious principles to promote, my naive picture of it is being the sort of stuff you'd see in self-help books. Which seems, I don't know, boring? (Personally I don't think there's much of value in self-help books.)
          • revx 7y ago
            Hey! So services vary widely from place to place (since congregations run democratically). The form is based on a traditional protestant service, but with modern adaptations. We sing a lot of songs - I've heard everything from christian hymns to buddhist chants to the Beatles and Peter Meyer (probably not during the same service). We have three hymnals, including one in Spanish. UUs have seven principles (https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/principles https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/principles) but none of them require any sort of supernatural belief. Coming from an anti-theist background they were all already things I agreed with. Some people say that you can believe in anything and be a UU, which isn't quite true - any belief system that sees others as "less than", for example, would be incompatible. As for who does the talking, most congregations have a trained minister (like my partner) who leads most services. They talk on a variety of topics, but mostly about community, justice, activism, and lessons from other religions. Hope this helps!
  • cjmcqueen 7y ago
    Amen.
  • jchw 7y ago
    This is something I didn’t understand as a child questioning God. As an adult, I view church in a much more positive light. I do wish I had social circles outside of work and old highschool friends. I think for some folks church does that, and that’s great. It’s certainly not for me, though.
    • Swizec 7y ago
      I have found being a regular at a gym has worked wonders for a sense of community. Even if we don’t chat all that much it’s still 4x a week that I see all the same familiar faces that I’ve been seeing for years. It’s great. Sometimes you chat more sometimes less and you don’t know too much about their life outside the gym, but they’re your peeps.
  • sametmax 7y ago
    Any communty really. Sport, book or chess clubs too. Theater lessons, shared houses, gay bars, anything where you can recreate a sense of being part of a group and not just being among people. The quality of the community matters though, some are human, some are mechanical. Leaders matter of lot for creating the right mix. And work is less and less a good place for that, because of policies, specialisation, compartimenting, but also because of lack of meaning . Meaning is a very important component for a group, and religions sell plenty of it, which make them strong people binders. A lot of other factors like common values, language, symbolism and stories reinforce this effect, but you can find that elsewhere, although it is very natural for spiritual groups to include all of it.
    • hirundo 7y ago
      > Any communty really. There are plenty of toxic communities. Belonging to them may salve loneliness without being healthy. If for example the community is built around resentment, revenge, purity, a charismatic leader, etc., fellowship may still provide a strong attraction ... that is best fulfilled elsewhere. If nothing else, better to get a dog than a cult.
      • sametmax 7y ago
        Yes including toxic churches, soccer teams and anime forums. Humans being humans and all that. Plenty of people prefer to be victims in group than alone though. We are weird creatures.
        • deleted 7y ago
          [deleted]
        • chii 7y ago
          What exactly is a toxic community? How does one identify that they are in one?
          • deleted 7y ago
            [deleted]
  • brookside 7y ago
    I don’t think many would deny churches provide their members community. Reinforcement of social ties with weekly meetings is strong. This isn’t a good reason to permit superstition to remain at the center of community life. We can find something better.
    • TallGuyShort 7y ago
      I actually recently had a discussion on here about how, as a religious person, I'm baffled at how arbitrary some religious people are in their religion (see https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19915081 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19915081). Yet at the same time, I'm equally disturbed by the way we seem to have a problem "permitting" a belief in something? edit: And I realize your point, which is one I do agree with, is that the benefits of community are not a reason to be religious and is distinct from that. But your choice of words is indeed reminiscent of many things I've heard from people in somewhat mainstream political discussions about how freedom of religion essentially needs to just go away. And as someone who has campaigned and voted for the very things many people are against on religious grounds precisely because I think anything that doesn't hurt somebody should be legal, I can't stand to see it backfiring equally on my self as it does upon religious bigots.
      • Apocryphon 7y ago
        By discounting religion, there’s also a tendency to minimize the human need to embrace the transcendental, while maximizing one’s own secular beliefs as well-founded and not superstitious. How many non-theists will just as readily believe in irrational things that they take as dogma?
    • veddox 7y ago
      I suspect you won't find it quite as easy as that to divvy apart a church community from its creed. Most of the New Testament writings are devoted to teachings about how the church and its community ought to function, and it's all very firmly grounded in the "supernatural" aspects of Christianity (especially the resurrection of Christ). Take away the latter, and I think you're likely to lose much of the former.
  • RandallBrown 7y ago
    I've wondered what a religionless church would be like. Would it be different from something like a rotary club or an elks lodge? I have a group of friends that get together every week for what we call "Mountainbeering" where we drink beer and go over planned hiking/climbing objectives. There's been talk of doing some trail work and other volunteering. It feels a little "churchy" except instead of a church it's at a brewery or someone's house.
    • cheald 7y ago
      The Unitarian Universalists, are, as I understand it, pretty close to a "religionless church". There's a general sense of "search for the truth", but there's no specific confessed creed.
      • RandallBrown 7y ago
        Very interesting. I'm somewhat tempted to go to a service just to see what it would be like.
        • ducktypegoose 7y ago
          Unitarian services are interesting. I have only gone a couple times with the atheist lesbian neighbors who invited us, and the sermons focused on some utilitarian concepts, power in community, and the goodness in helping others. I did not feel pandered to or prostylytized. Pretty sure if you're looking for a church that is accomodating to atheists, focused on community and good-will over dogma, then you'll find Unitarian services amenable.
        • Balgair 7y ago
          https://www.uua.org/find https://www.uua.org/find
      • revx 7y ago
        I am a Unitarian Universalist and an athiest, married to a seminarian in the religion. Happy to answer questions about UU and what it's like. It has definitely made me far less lonely to belong to the UU community, and I don't feel pressured to "believe" anything I don't want to.
  • agumonkey 7y ago
    I used to criticize church until I realized that people spent hours every day watching extreme dumb shows alone on their couch. Religious rituals give a pace to social and mental life that, even though archaic and even absurd in a way, seems a ton better than the modern life we were fed :)
    • lotsofpulp 7y ago
      Problem is when church starts asserting their infallibleness and rejecting science.
      • tarruda 7y ago
        Do you have an example of the Church rejecting science in the last 100 years?
        • nanny 7y ago
          What? They're all over the place, especially in the US. edit: I go to one, despite it.
          • ArnoVW 7y ago
            Question of semantics is mixing up your conversation here I think. Is "the church" the religious authority (i.e. the Vatican), or just simply anyone religious? Because the Vatican has not persecuted people for their scientific views for a long time, but I agree with you that it's not that complicated to find examples of religious people being anti-scientific. The question is : how many are there, and how representative are they.
            • smileysteve 7y ago
              In the U.S. it's strict creationism that's the biggest anti-science aspect of many of the protestant religions. Snopes monkey trial was so divisive that very few people I have met in Georgia are aware that intelligent design is a thing. Each of these people more or less accepts that their church doesn't believe in Dinosaurs.
  • albertshin 7y ago
    Give Putnam's Bowling Alone a read if you haven't already
    • smacktoward 7y ago
      It's worth noting that Bowling Alone was published in 2000, and grew out of a magazine article Putnam wrote in 1995. So this is a problem that's been slowly growing for a long time now.
      • sien 7y ago
        It would be interesting to see the impact of the internet on these kinds of things. With Meetup and Eventbrite and Facebook organisation of a lot of social things has become easier. Hopefully some researchers are looking at this.
  • Eleopteryx 7y ago
    After having read the article your comment comes off as a non sequitur. The article doesn't even mention churches or relate volunteering to churches or churchgoers... You didn't even make an effort to correlate churchgoing with the topic of volunteering or the topic of loneliness. Even from a tangential perspective I have no idea where you're coming from. The article mentions widows alleviating loneliness through volunteering for two hours a week. "Church plays a larger role in maintaining a healthy society" without really qualifying how, why, or in what way it pertains to the article, seems like a massive logical leap. What about for the widow? What about the man waiting for a chess opponent? Are you saying that "church" is a function solution to their loneliness? Could you maybe elaborate on that? You stated something impertinent, explained nothing, and somehow got a slew of upvotes. I don't even know where I am right now.
    • gpm 7y ago
      Church was a weekly social activity shared by practically the entire community... Not to mention larger events organized by church's, and charity performed in the local community by many churches. It's unfortunate IMO that there is no non religious equivalent.
      • lostphilosopher 7y ago
        Churches also do this in an intergenerational fashion. My office does volunteer work, but my kids and my parents don't take part. That's a hard bit to replicate in other groups even if those groups are actively engaged in charity.
    • lostphilosopher 7y ago
      > "Research using the UCLA Loneliness Scale and Meaning in Life Questionnaire has shown that more loneliness is associated with less meaning. This makes sense, given our deeply rooted need for belonging. By volunteering for social causes that are important to us, we can gain a sense of purpose, which in turn may shield us from negative health outcomes. For example, purpose in life has been linked to a reduced likelihood of stroke and greater psychological well-being." You didn't see a connection between people suffering from a lack of meaning and purpose and the decline of an institution that basically specializes in that? Note that no one (here) is saying "church provides the correct meaning/purpose" or even "church provides a good meaning or purpose." Just that churches are out there specifically and directly trying to provide meaning and purpose. Another angle is that churches often engage in volunteer work. Much more so than your average softball team or book club. If the secret sauce of preventing loneliness is the purpose/meaning/"je n'ais se quoi" of volunteering specifically - churches are/were major players in that space. Even if that connection was coincidental there's a possible link between the decline of church engagement and the rise of loneliness. Anyway, I'm not the OP. Maybe they thought they were typing in another window and it ended up here, but these are some the connections I was thinking about / reasons I upvoted.
  • kemiller2002 7y ago
    When I was in college, I listened to a speaker talking about the history of blues in the United States and as an aside gospel music, etc. One thing he talked about I thought was interesting was the history or purpose of religion in African American culture. He said, at least historically, church wasn't just about worship. It was like an all day event. People would go to church and then afterwards, there would be a picnic or gathering of the church goers. It was a community event. As neither an African American, nor someone who's family was particularly social at church, I never experienced that and was caught completely by surprise in the fact that much more revolved around church than going for an hour and being bored.
    • Sundog 7y ago
      This is true of Korean American churches as well, with lunch, weddings, etc. It's an all-day affair and the center of the community where people meet, do business, etc. The younger generation is trickling away but it was a bedrock for the immigrant community.
    • rchaud 7y ago
      It makes sense. The ancestors of African-Americans were in many cases forced to convert to Christianity after being transported to America. In those circumstances, you need to add a lot more to the experience than just scripture if you want to maintain your flock.
  • jtr1 7y ago
    I grew up very conservative and very evangelical and left as an adult because I couldn't honestly hold the basic beliefs in an honest way. I was also really angry about a bunch of things: the prevalence of narcissism among preachers, authoritarian organizational structures, treatment of women, etc etc - I could give you a whole litany. If you pay any attention to religion in the US, you could probably anticipate much of it. Years later, not much has changed. The anger has faded, particularly as I watch some of those old churches dying (although not without some degree of satisfaction, I'll admit). BUT, I do agree that it's widely under-appreciated just how sophisticated a social technology the congregation is. And there's not, as far as I've found, a viable secular alternative. Take away shared conviction about the transcendent and you seem to lose some kind of binding agent, like baking without gluten.
    • bigred100 7y ago
      Pretty wacky when many American Christians I meet seem to be more prideful and puffed up than even the atheists, who are often caricatured as very impressed with their own intelligence. So much for “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart”
      • Apocryphon 7y ago
        National chauvinism could be a factor.
    • marnett 7y ago
      do not forget the social cohesive elements like worship. i have strongly believed the church's biggest advantage as a social institution is due to collectively performing some unifying ritual. i think these rituals are instrumental to the social cohesion that is the congregation.
      • Broken_Hippo 7y ago
        But there isn't social cohesion for folks like me. I'm female. I do not believe in god. I'm bisexual. I am exactly the sort of person left out of worship unless I pretend I'm someone I am not and don't reveal my true self. I'm a fraud if I want to fit in - these groups rarely simply accept me going there for the social aspect.
  • izzydata 7y ago
    The harm far outweighs the good in my opinion. There is no reason such communities can't exist without pushing their agenda on young minds.
    • war1025 7y ago
      All communities push agendas. It just doesn't feel like agenda-pushing when it's something you agree with.
      • izzydata 7y ago
        Children don't know what they agree with. It's unfair to them to be forced into a particular beliefs due to fear of repercussions in an "after-life".
        • veddox 7y ago
          Is it unfair for parents to pass on to their kids what they themselves are firmly convinced of? Isn't that what all parents (are supposed to) do?
          • izzydata 7y ago
            The method of passing on knowledge is extremely relevant.
            • tathougies 7y ago
              Oh really? What way of passing on knowledge do you have that is free of all bias?
              • izzydata 7y ago
                Why do you believe this is a matter of bias? I'm talking about the difference between handing your child a book and whipping them into submission. Clearly one of those methods is terrible. I'd consider instilling fear of damnation on your children much closer to the latter. One of those things promotes critical thinking and the other locks them into a singular set of beliefs. I can't think of anything worse for society.
  • scrape_it 7y ago
    but how does that explain the sharp rise in suicide rates amongst WASP males approaching middle age?
  • icxa 7y ago
    Quoting a tweet from my feed: "Married people are happier than single people. Frequent church attenders are happier than people who rarely (or never) attend. "Liberation" from religion and marriage has made millions miserable. Sexual revolutionaries have some explaining to do." And the quoted article which it is in reference to: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/04/happiness-recession-causing-sex-depression/586405/ https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/04/happiness-... There was also research done to try and show that the “gender pay gap” will continue to rise due to an increase proportion of single/unwed mothers. Turns out when you have a support system consisting of a spouse and their families, you are able to also have more economic mobility as well. I couldn’t imagine my wife climbing the ladder at her Finance job without me to help take half the parental responsibilities, and a very supportive grandma and grandpa. Turns out maybe marriage wasn’t a tool of the patriarchy after all.
    • TylerE 7y ago
      Ignorance is bliss, personified. I'm sure it IS much more pleasant to imagine the magic sky fairy will take care of all the world's problems.
      • tathougies 7y ago
        > I'm sure it IS much more pleasant to imagine the magic sky fairy will take care of all the world's problems. The alternative of course is nihilism in the face of the inevitable heat death of the universe. My magical sky fairy seems pretty good right now.`
        • Apocryphon 7y ago
          It’s also somewhat telling that transhumanism and Singularitarianism, some of the more prominent post-religion religions, are about building magical sky fairies. In the face of the second law of thermodynamics, even purveyors of secular scientism seek to escape oblivion by inventing Asimov’s AC.
          • 7y ago
  • shanxS 7y ago
    I am agnostic to religion. But I cannot agree more that region (all of them) play a key role in maintaining fabric of society. I don't know how true the scriptures are, given that most of them contradict each other but regardless, more or less they all tend to drive society towards stability and tolerance.
    • Retra 7y ago
      I don't see any evidence that society tends to be driven toward stability or tolerance, and even if it did, why you would attribute that to religion.
      • FabHK 7y ago
        I'd argue that over time society has in fact become more stable and more tolerant (read Steve Pinker's latest tome about the enlightenment), but that it was possible because of the simultaneous decline of religion.
        • Retra 7y ago
          What society has done or is doing is a rather different matter than what it tends to do.
  • sharadov 7y ago
    It does, unfortunately, with a lot of folks turning away from religion, there is no support system left anymore.
  • jacquesm 7y ago
    Churches are - pun intended - a mixed blessing. Religion gives comfort when people are in pain and can help impose some sense where there is none so on the short timescales it looks positive. But on the longer timescales it is just another powerstructure that aims to keep people in check and productive towards the aim of maintaining the structure itself and at tremendous cost to society as a whole and in many cases at tremendous cost to the lives of the individuals that are a part of it. Personally I prefer to live without such influences in my life in so far as that is possible but I fully respect others' rights to do as they please. But a healthy society can be had outside of religion.
    • ip26 7y ago
      Have there ever been democratic or republic churches?
      • Apocryphon 7y ago
        Most Protestant churches are run democratically with voting on elders and so forth
        • jacquesm 7y ago
          That's a good point. When it comes to 'how to run a church' it is a pretty good basis, unfortunately protestantism is very fragmented, but then again, if it wasn't then it would be more like the structure it broke away from so maybe that is actually a good thing.
        • lukev 7y ago
          It isn't clear that this leads to "better" outcomes, though. The larger denominations are pretty standardized, the smaller churches with more independence are where you find more sectarianism, extremism, and even cult-like behavior.
      • QuercusMax 7y ago
        The Society of Friends (AKA Quakers) doesn't have professional clergy, and decisions are made democratically. They don't even have pastors; my parents were married in a Quaker meeting house, and their marriage license was signed by the secretary of the congregation. Here's an article about their decision-making process: http://quaker.org/legacy/tqe/2005/TQE118-EN-Democracy.html http://quaker.org/legacy/tqe/2005/TQE118-EN-Democracy.html
  • scarejunba 7y ago
    I actually think it's oversold. I used to feel a bit lonely but found a bunch of friends through work and just said yes to everything. Now I always have someone to hang out with because they introduced me to their friends and so on.
  • sudosteph 7y ago
    I have to agree. I've noticed that churches remain really essential to some places, especially smaller isolated communities. From my experience, I think the appeal comes from: 1.) Gives people an excuse to dress nicely in public (good for self-esteem if you're into that sort of thing) 2.) Free meals (often delicious and home-cooked), potentially before and after 3.) Singing music together is fun and it doesn't matter if you're bad at it 4.) The preacher will tell the congregation if someone is sick or had a bad thing happen, and then some of the other people will typically express their care to the person and maybe visit them and bring them food. 5.) The preacher typically will tell at least one corny joke or do some weird dramatic thing to get your attention and make a point. It's like weird theater at some places. And of course, organizing volunteer things is pretty solid too. On the less positive side, some people like to use church to show-off and find things to gossip about. So while that behavior may make some feel less lonely, probably causes others to be repulsed away.
  • rjegundo 7y ago
    If church was not solving a real problem it would not longer exist at scale. Is just not the problem most people thin
    • rchaud 7y ago
      It also makes money, tax-free. And by quoting scripture, it helps politicians and grifters appear to be above board to some people, without requiring them to make the sacrifices faith asks for. Get rid of those aspects, and religion really will disappear.
  • zebraflask 7y ago
    I would think given the very diverse audience enjoyed by HN, this kind of statement would not be posted. I don't think the poster is trying to behave in a bigoted way, but that could be a very reasonable interpretation.
  • DavideNL 7y ago
    > Folks can say what they want about religion ...and for those who are no believers, perhaps becoming a Pastafarian is a good alternative option : https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pastafarians https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pastafarians
  • mcrad 7y ago
    So True. Unfortunately the media has convinced the masses to adopt political parties as their modern version of religion. Any atheist with half a brain can see how dangerous it is to put all faith and trust in the political class.
  • desireco42 7y ago
    https://www.amazon.com/Religion-Atheists-Non-believers-Guide-Uses/dp/0307476820/ https://www.amazon.com/Religion-Atheists-Non-believers-Guide... Religion for Atheists: A Non-believer's Guide to the Uses of Religion (my favorite philosopher)
  • Balgair 7y ago
    For those looking for community without religion, try Unitarian Unversalism. I've personally had a very good experience with it: https://www.uua.org/find https://www.uua.org/find
  • jsnk 7y ago
    I wish cultural Christianity was a thing. I am an atheist who believes that Christianity is an important tradition to keep. Just like Judaism, I wish there was reformed Christianity that allows atheists to participate in their religion without belief in God.
  • mattigames 7y ago
    Lets see what data says; top 10 less religious countries are[0]: China, Japan, Estonia, Sweden, Norway, Czech Republic, Hong Kong, Netherlands, Israel, United Kingdom Top 10 most religious countries are[0]: Ethiopia, Malawi, Niger, Sri Lanka, Yemen, Burundi, Djibouti, Mauritania, Somalia, Afghanistan So looking at this -at least by itself- is far from certain that religion plays a large role in maintaining a healthy society; you may be thinking of a specific subset of religions/denominations or perhaps using a different 'measure' for the impact of religion. [0]https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/most-religious-countries-in-the-world/ https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/most-re...
    • humanrebar 7y ago
      There could be a more indirect effect of religious belief on healthy society. Hypothetically social capital could build up over the years and deeply affect hard-to-measure things like trust and fair governance. If that's the case, it could take more than a couple decades for drastic change in beliefs to transform a country.
  • xkcd-sucks 7y ago
    By any objective population statistic, being a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church is beneficial. People who are gay / enjoy coffee might disagree, but this is merely anecdotal evidence to the contrary.
  • mikorym 7y ago
    In South Africa there are many beautiful churches from a bygone era. One of the most well known is in Graaff-Reinet. [1] Church played a very dominant role in Protestant communities, together with the other pillars of the family and the school. I think that the cross-over period to more secular belief systems indeed does lose a lot of the community aspect of the church. It is also not clear at all how to fill the void... Sports? Hobbies? Nature? Guns n' Roses concerts? [1] https://www.graaffreinet.co.za/listing/dutch_reformed_church_groot_kerk https://www.graaffreinet.co.za/listing/dutch_reformed_church...
• peter303 7y ago
  Some of the loneliest people are the elderly who have lost their mobility and cannot get around easily. This often happens in your 80s.
  • DataWorker 7y ago
    Much of that is economic. Our society places no value on most people that age. If you have a family they may value you enough to spend their time with you, but that’s giving. Most people have 0 economic value at that age, our political elites excluded.
    • mLuby 7y ago
      This is a good (often overlooked) point, but I do think there are also real physical constraints (limited mobility, injury risk, lowered energy) as well as mental ones (including just being from different generations) that increase the difficulty of elders participating fully in society.
    • sigstoat 7y ago
      > Much of that is economic. Our society places no value on most people that age. this feels like a theory in search of facts. are your friends hanging out with you simply because of your economic value to them? or weirder, hanging out with you because of your economic value to your employer? there might be a correlation between someone's "economic value" being zero, and them being lonely, but there are a lot of ways that can happen, and direct causation probably isn't one of them.
  • neuland 7y ago
    There are groups that visit housebound elderly people. Or at least, I know that several churches and nursing homes around me do that. Ask around, and I bet you'll be able to find people doing this! These groups are always looking for volunteers.
    • Broken_Hippo 7y ago
      In my area, one such service is organised through the red cross. Everyone you visit has requested a visit, so I think it works out well. One might be able to work through them or, time allowing, start a local service doing similar.
• cafard 7y ago
  I do volunteer, and it certainly puts me in contact with others, mostly people I would not know otherwise. But I suspect that it is possible to be around other people a fair bit and remain lonely.
• Skunkleton 7y ago
  TL;DR: Are you lonely? Have you tried doing things with people?
  • mjevans 7y ago
    It also has to be the right other people. When someone says they're lonely, what I hear is a lack of connection to peers and others like them. I'm not sure how generic volunteering would help with that.
    • mymythisisthis 7y ago
      I think that generic volunteering might even make a person feeling worse, if they don't fit in with the organization. All organizations have a culture. Be strategic. Start with Meetup, find a couple of things that interest you and align with your work. Then find a role for yourself, a project that has specific outcomes and that you contribute to specifically. Have a cut off date where you either join something else, or move up in your role. Or, go on a completely different tack and take up drumming in a drumming circle.
    • gnulinux 7y ago
      Not disagreeing but I have a little different experience. I volunteered in a radio program for about 5 years, it was about children's rights (not in the US) and every week we discussed a children rights violation in this country, go there, listen to the children's voices and discuss the issue with them. My co-volunteers were really great people. But somehow I never not felt not-lonely. Even though we were working for the same goal and we were socializing just fine, they didn't feel like the right people. The most I ever felt non-lonely is back in college struggling through very challenging problem sets with my study group. It definitely felt like a have a "friend group" who shared something very important with me, and I miss those days a lot. Even to this day, when I'm given a hard task at work, I like solving it with my coworkers.
  • toasterlovin 7y ago
    Volunteering has several things going for it, though: 1) There is something other than simply socialization going on, which means there isn't the same pressure to be "on" and hold up your end of a conversation. 2) There is a built in topic of conversation (whatever you're volunteering for). 3) You will often see the same group of people repeatedly, which breeds familiarity and allows relationships to develop slowly over repeated interactions.
• johnchristopher 7y ago
  > Another strategy is to volunteer. In a recent survey of over 10,000 people in the UK, two-thirds reported that volunteering helped them feel less isolated. I am not digging further. Self-reported. My experience: I did a sting in volunteering, in a shelter (I worked the day shift). First question asked when I applied: "What are you doing here ?". Second question, from the social worker running the shelter: "What do you think my role is ?". It caught me off guard. I thought about it for a while and then said: "You manage the volunteers as much as the people in need of the shelter ?" "And it makes up most of your time and takes most of your energy.", I added when I quit, three months later. I believe the volunteers are good people but their objectives aren't aligned with the people who need the shelter. Good things there's a middle ground where each can meet and fulfill their needs though.
  • nprateem 7y ago
    > I am not digging further. Self-reported. You suggest those people actually felt more isolated despite feeling that they didn't?
    • johnchristopher 7y ago
      Not while volunteering (though some are aware of it). But I believe they aren't building long lasting relationships that will outlive their time in volunteering and form a good social structure to rely on later on. As soon as they are out of volunteering, most won't see other volunteers anymore. Unless they actively worked to nurture that relationship outside of the volunteering environment, with unrelated activities. For example, a friend of mine is hardcore into board games. Sure, he has a good time playing at the club. But seeing people of the club outside of the club, for different activities (supper, helping with moving furniture, sharing a conversation, going to a movie or concert, etc.) is how he's building longer lasting relationships.
      • loblollyboy 7y ago
        My thoughts exactly.
• Noos 7y ago
  Well yeah, if you work an unpaid job on top of your paid job, you won't have time to feel lonely. Not sure you'd like to deal with crazy Steve who rants at you while you feed him whatever day old bread you managed to beg from the local grocer, and clean up the food shelter's toilet after some homeless guy trashed it. As for religion..eh, you have to believe in it for it to work. You can't just make secular church, because there is no secular commandment to love one another, just to not hurt one another. You can get into scenes where there are philosophical ideas enough to ground that kind of community, but you quickly find they are worse nuts than the religious people if not harmful.
  • hn_throwaway_99 7y ago
    Wow, if that's your view of volunteerism, I have nothing but honest pity.
    • gjs278 7y ago
      uh huh. it’s what some form of volunteerism can become. I have nothing but disdain for your throwaway that is allowed to post.
  • mymythisisthis 7y ago
    You might get down voted but when people say that they are lonely and might want to volunteer somewhere, dealing with crazy people is not the best place for them to start.
  • gnulinux 7y ago
    Hmm, having been a volunteer in a radio program about Children's rights for years, your view of volunteering is not necessarily accurate.
  • sigstoat 7y ago
    > whatever day old bread you managed to beg from the local grocer since they can still sell day old bread, and a lot of people buy it on purpose to save a few cents, this doesn't sound too bad?
  • 7y ago
• temp99990 7y ago
  AI based religions will be the next multi-bil institutions in less than a decade
  • gph 7y ago
    AI based teledildonics will be the next multi-tril institutions in less than a decade.
• kumarski 7y ago
  There's no good online or mobile app for volunteering. I figured there'd be a chatbot and an sms system at the very least. ARGHHHH.....
  • gjs278 7y ago
    lol. yes, i’m sure you are having trouble finding things to volunteer for. it’s not hard in the slightest.
  • iNate2000 7y ago
    https://www.justserve.org/ https://www.justserve.org/
  • smacktoward 7y ago
    VolunteerMatch (https://www.volunteermatch.org/ https://www.volunteermatch.org/) has worked well for me in the past.
• burnt1ce 7y ago
  No way! I totally vehemently disagree. Joining a sports team is ultimately a better solution. I have done both and here's a list why joining a sports team is better. 1. You'll experience pain and success as a team that strengthens the relationship with everyone 2. Politics may occur (eg:who gets benched and who gets the play when it counts the most). This will be a test of character and integrity which is vital for any future meaningful relationship. These are the types of relationships that you keep/survive when you stop playing the sport or when you've moved on to another team. 3. You'll workout and get some exercise. It's good for your health (duh) 4. You're most likely to be in a team where everyone is committed to seeing each other on a regular schedule until the season ends. Unlike volunteering, you may never see a person again after you have met them. 5. After a hard practice/game, you'll most likely go out for food/drinks. It'll be an opportunity for people to express themselves outside of the game. 6. You'll eventually find out who lives where and figure out a way to carpool to practice/games and back home. I have developed very meaningful relationships while carpooling. Conversations get deeper and more honest when you're have a 1-to-1 conversation. Updated - fixed spelling/grammar
  • eindiran 7y ago
    The article isn't called "Volunteering: Literally The Only Solution to Loneliness". It's a solution to loneliness, and one that happens to have positive externalities that accompany it. You can think that sports are a good way to combat loneliness without vehemently disagreeing that volunteering is a solution as well.
    • burnt1ce 7y ago
      Sure if volunteering works for some people, then great! I'm just saying I have spent a lot of time doing both, and joining a sports team is just more effective if you're trying to make friends. Virtually everyone that joins a team is there to make friends, have fun and maybe get fit. Another unrelated reason is if they are there to compete at the professional level which is totally different situation.
    • clairity 7y ago
      yup, burnt1ce's argument is both puzzling and overstated, even as i appreciate their zeal for sports. loneliness has many antidotes, not just having/making friends. just interacting with other people can stem loneliness. i both volunteer and play sports (basketball) and while some benefits overlap, i do each for principally different benefits. basketball provides both regular exercise (that i like and do willingly) and an outlet to be competitive (and even aggressive). volunteering provides an opportunity to learn something new and give to others. that both reduce loneliness is icing on the cake.
• jerkstate 7y ago
  I think that volunteering can help with a lot more than just loneliness, including bridging gaps between different ideologies. I spent some time working for an urban tree planting group in my city. As you would expect a lot of the folks involved were green thumb forest ranger types, but a lot of them were not. A couple of the older Sierra club guys openly discussed issues with the modern global economy and its impact on the environment, stuff that might get you banned from Twitter these days. The machine shop guys who repaired our tree stakes were pretty "red state" but they liked those Sierra club old guys, and they also liked trees. I also remember talking to a young energy industry employee who knew a lot about green energy initiatives (and why they were taking so long to ramp up), and of course dyed in the wool vegans and forest ranger folks. But the fact that everyone was giving up their Saturdays together for a common goal gave everyone a little extra liberty to express their opinions and experiences, and of course the civility of face to face conversation helps bridge lots of gaps too.
• agumonkey 7y ago
  In France some test is going on to turn long term joblesness into proactive social life. They made a dummy company (one per city) that will hire everyone and pay them up to 21k euros per year to do things (what kind I don't know, probably small services and tasks). TV News was saying that it had suprisingly large success so far.
  • mz00 7y ago
    Interesting! Where can one read more about this initiative? French sources OK.
    • agumonkey 7y ago
      I think that's what they were talking about https://www.tzcld.fr/ https://www.tzcld.fr/ (territory zero chomage/joblesness long duration)
  • hotgeart 7y ago
    Source please?
    • agumonkey 7y ago
      I think that's what they were talking about https://www.tzcld.fr/ https://www.tzcld.fr/ (territory zero chomage/joblesness long duration)
  • loblollyboy 7y ago
    Sounds like college
    • anchpop 7y ago
      Where can I get paid 21k euros a year to go to college? I might never leave
      • julienreszka 7y ago
• 40acres 7y ago
  Religion has the benefit of being a massive (1B+ for the major ones), well established institution for bringing people together, the recurring nature of meet-ups for church and / or prayer help to establish routine. What I've found is that for those who are not religious, the hardest part about building a social structure from scratch is establishing some routine. I moved from Boston to Portland a few years ago and didn't know anyone. I tried everything from Meetups (solid if you're looking for friends of the opposite sex and people your age -- especially if you're a millennial / gen X), volunteering (great for meeting a wide variety of people but can be difficult to come across the same people over and over unless you share a common bond, like work) and sports (best for last minute get together, but sometimes to schedule can be too rigid if you don't dedicate yourself). They all have their benefits, and you'll never enjoy every type of person you meet in a certain community. The key above all is getting together with people you like on a semi-regular basis. Even twice a month on a long enough timescale is enough to establish a strong tie.
  • asdfman123 7y ago
    A fun thing to try is improv comedy. It exists in practically every large metropolis and all you need is the ability to be brave and potentially embarrass yourself. Everyone is trying something new and risky, and it doesn't matter if you don't think you know how to act. It was a great community for me, and you see the same people every week for years.
    • mikeg8 7y ago
      Thanks for that suggestion. I’ve been kind of wanting to try this for a while and really need to see what groups are available to me, locally.
      • asdfman123 7y ago
        My advice is to not overthink it - just sign up for a class and take the plunge. It's a lot of fun.
• jpollock 7y ago
  I've found that in the Bay Area, there are so many people who aren't allowed to work that it can be very, very hard to volunteer - the supply of volunteers exceeds demand.
  • BurningFrog 7y ago
    Sounds like a startup opportunity!
  • deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
• bigredhdl 7y ago
  I'm really surprised by how negative the comments are on this one. I mentor a young man once a week and it has been a huge positive influence on me and my mental health. It really helps me be more "others centered".
  • alexanderlabrie 7y ago
    It's a sign of how people are on the Internet. I did more than 1000 hours of volunteering in high school and it's made me who I am today. Now I run a startup that uses AI to automatically create real-world social events between friends: research shows the best solution to loneliness is seeing people in person more often and volunteering is certainly one of the best ways.
    • isseu 7y ago
      Sounds interesting, name?
      • woofcat 7y ago
        https://www.sphere.com.ai/ https://www.sphere.com.ai/ from his profile.
      • deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]
    • robinhoode 7y ago
      That sounds awesome! However, I don't quite see how the volunteering is connected to your startup.
  • oldjokes 7y ago
    Yeah, getting out and volunteering at a local animal shelter changed my life in numerous ways. I cringe at people my age who still live self-centered ladder climbing lives, always trying to optimize whatever metric, because I used to be that idiot too.
  • FabHK 7y ago
• nostalgk 7y ago
  Volunteering is what got me into this business in the first place. As a youth that really didn't know where I was going, I volunteered at a community garden to stay busy, and the person running it was a software engineer. Volunteering is great if even just to expose one to new points of view, as it attracts all types.
• sealthedeal 7y ago
  TBH, I have always been heavily involved in organized sports. I have friends ask all the time how they can meet more people, etc. I always refer them to a recreational sand volleyball league or something like that. Never thought about volunteering as an option until now. Super cool!
• VonGuard 7y ago
  Looking for somewhere to volunteer in the Bay Area? The Computer History Museum The Exploratorium The Museum of Art and Digital Entertainment The Crucible And those are just the ones where you can play with fire or old computers!
• 7402 7y ago
  One organization I considered volunteering for had a volunteer form that demanded that I "defend, indemnify, and hold the Released Parties harmless from and against any and all loss, damages, claims, expenses and attorney’s fees that may be suffered by any Released Party resulting directly or indirectly from my volunteer activities, ... except and only to the extent the liability is caused by the gross negligence or willful misconduct of the relevant Released Party." To hell with that. On the other hand, a different organization (that I did work with) valued their volunteers enough that they stated that if a volunteer were to be injured while there, they would be covered by the organization's workers' comp insurance! I'd still like to volunteer for an organization, but only someplace where it's clearly for the organization's benefit as well as my own.
• gravypod 7y ago
  If you are seriously feeling lonely another approach might be therapy. There are many things that can manifest as a collection of feelings that might be descried as "loneliness" and a therapist can help you get to the bottom of it. It's worked wonders for many people I have known since high school. I know that I subjectively feel lonely despite being objectively not alone. Your situation might be similar. Maybe your loneliness can be fixed by volunteering. Maybe it can be fixed by spending a session or to each week with someone who has devoted a significant portion of their time to helping people with problems like yours. They might even suggest volunteering if it will work for you, or they might refer you to a psychologist who can help you if they think that will benefit you the most. I'm not disagreeing with the article, it's probably correct that being in close proximity to people makes some people feel less lonely, but if you try this and it doesn't help don't think there isn't a solution.
  • eswat 7y ago
    Definitely. Depending on how serious one's issues are, volunteering could be a shortcut remedy for loneliness and the need for therapy could be reduced. But if doesn’t work then therapy could help with underlying issues (my therapist suggested volunteering to me).
• cdubzzz 7y ago
  My time in the Peace Corps had a profound influence on my social skills/life. While I would not have said I was necessarily lonely, I was certainly rather anti-social and had a lot of trouble expressing myself to people. Aside from the people I met and relationships I made with other volunteers during my service, I learned through necessity how to be a much more outgoing and social person. I imagine this had a lot to do with where I served (culturally, people were much more community oriented than here in the U.S.) but even the first few months spending time training with the other volunteers in country was hugely influential. Peace Corps is pretty unique compared to more typical volunteer opportunities, but I suspect one could get a similar effect from sustained volunteering with a particular org/group.
• metalliqaz 7y ago
  Extroverts just don't understand introverts, and they think they can "fix" us.
  • yfdrea 7y ago
    At what point did the author of the article say this was to "fix introverts"? They positioned volunteering as a way to combat loneliness which has nothing to do with being extroverted or introverted. Loneliness is a feeling, being an introvert is a personality trait. There are some introverts who struggle with loneliness and some who do not thus this article is a relevant suggestion for some and not for others.
  • Wohlf 7y ago
    I'm an introvert too, and I know many people who are as well. The need for human interaction, love, and belonging still exist.
    • grenoire 7y ago
      I don't think that's what the GP meant. More like, volunteering is not the cure for introverts' loneliness.
    • noir_lord 7y ago
      Also an introvert and they do. Fortunately my partner is also an introvert so when we feel like been sociable we can be but the rest of our time is spent with her sat reading while I swear quietly at a computer. I’d never really understood he phrase comfortable silence but it’s refreshing to be together but to be able to do our own thing. I’m unusual for an introvert in that I worked sales for a couple of years so I can fake gregarious well if I need to but I find it draining.
  • macintux 7y ago
    I’m life-long introvert, and volunteering has been a huge help to my state of mind. I don’t know what you’re so upset about.
• mbubb 7y ago
  I've volunteered with a local ambulance corps for the past 2-3 years. I've driven and more recently became an EMT. It's worthwhile. We sign for at least 4 shifts a month. There is a fair amount of training and retraining to keep the cert active. Some shifts are distressing and it is a bit hard to compartmentalize... I am glad to have it though. I have contact with a whole different world than my NYC tech job and have a different relationship to my city than I would otherwise. The EMTs (and trainees) are younger, different racial and socio-economic backgrounds. Not uncommon for me to be on a shift with a crew chief who is 20 years younger and different race and or gender. And it be a person I trust and respect. As for the work itself - it can be harrowing and you second guess almost everything and try to figure it out better. While trying to help the patient(s) you have to manage radio contact while filling out a chart which you are constantly reminded would be the basis for legal discovery if needed. Our Corps does about 6k calls a year out of one location with 3 ambulances. And you get all the variety you expect in a city. I question it sometimes. This volunteering eats into my work life and family life. Occasionally dream about it or think about it. To the point of the post - it does connect me to community in a different and meaningful way. There are other ways to achieve the same thing probably - just adding my experience.
  • komali2 7y ago
    This has been something that's been on the stove for me for two years now. I'd love to do this also - you wouldn't happen to have written about it anywhere?
    • mbubb 7y ago
      In US it is state by state - they are semi-nationalizing the written exam (NREMT) but you need to take a practical exam in the state you get licensed. Volunteer EMS is dwindling a bit but still around. Often the Volunteer org will voucher you once you put in time as an "Observer". I did that for a year and started driving and got my EMT last December.
  • juped 7y ago
    Where did you get your EMT training? (context: I am in NYC and would take EMT training and volunteer at my own expense if I understood how it worked)
• nlawalker 7y ago
  I know someone who has considered looking to volunteerism to combat loneliness. In all the places they've looked, what has put them off of it in every case is the up-front commitment required - a certain set of hours in a day and days in a week, for a minimum number of weeks. This is understandable - volunteer-driven efforts need reliable people just like anything else does - but it makes it hard to dip your toe in.
  • veddox 7y ago
    > volunteer-driven efforts need reliable people just like anything else does Amen to that! One of the greatest challenges facing volunteer organisations these days is the supreme difficulty of getting people (especially millenials) to commit to regular and extended involvement. I'm in the national leadership of my organisation, and I hear the same stories from virtually all our groups, as well as from other organisations. Of course, there needs to be space for people to just try themselves out at first (we certainly have that). But at some point, you've got to be willing to commit...
  • lh7777 7y ago
    This isn’t the case for “day labor” volunteering in my experience, although of course that’s not for everybody. I build & maintain hiking trails a few days a month and occasionally work construction at Habitat for Humanity. In both cases, you’re supposed to stay all day, but there’s no obligation beyond that one day.
  • macintux 7y ago
    Indianapolis used to, maybe still does, have a group dedicated to social volunteering. Basically you can pick and choose small or big volunteer opportunities from a variety of community needs. I didn’t much like some aspects of it, but it’s definitely a useful approach for some. I regret I don’t remember the name of the organization.
• rayalez 7y ago
  My solution for loneliness - online DnD. I live in a place where it's very hard to find like-minded people in real life. That plus health issues and social anxiety resulted in me being quite alone for awhile. I'm very introverted so I wasn't unhappy, but still thought that it would be nice to have a group of good buddies to hang out with. Then I have learned that you can play DnD over discord/roll20, and my god this is so great! A lot of incredibly smart and amazing people, welcoming and friendly community, so much fun! I highly recommend it to everyone!
  • tarruda 7y ago
    As someone who played pen and paper DnD as a kid, and a lot of computer (baldurs gate, fallout, nwn and many others), I'm curious about this. Do you have any resources to get started?
    • thatguy0900 7y ago
      https://www.reddit.com/r/lfg/ https://www.reddit.com/r/lfg/ https://discord.gg/UPNHuUd https://discord.gg/UPNHuUd https://app.roll20.net/lfg/search/ https://app.roll20.net/lfg/search/ Some good places to start, the reddit lfg especially is full of posts of new players asking to be taught. Roll20 is a browser based tabletop emulater most people use to play in, and also has its own forums to find groups in.
    • rayalez 7y ago
      Most games are played via discord voice chat, often roll20 is used for rolling dice, managing character sheets, and moving tokens over the map. Create discord/roll20 accounts, come up with a character, make a character sheet. You can find people to play with on /r/lfg subreddit. If you're not ready to commit to a long-term campaign, I recommend looking for one-shots(one-time games lasting 3-5 hours). Try things out, play a couple of games, get to know a few people. Also, there are a lot of discord servers where people hang out and play together: https://disboard.org/search?keyword=dnd&sort=-member_count https://disboard.org/search?keyword=dnd&sort=-member_count They often have channels where they announce games, free for anyone to join. My favorite server is: https://discord.gg/vPFH5sQ https://discord.gg/vPFH5sQ There are a lot of games in there, and people are very friendly and willing to help. Just come over, ask questions. Don't be afraid to just join one of the games and start playing - nobody expects you to know all the rules when you get started, DM and other players will help you out, you will learn as you go. Quality of games can sometimes be uneven(depending on DM/player skills). I was lucky that my first few games turned out to be amazing, but occassionaly it can get a bit slow/boring. If that happens - don't give up, just give it another shot, it's worth it. Gradually you'll meet and get to know people you like playing with. Quick tutorial on playing games on that server: https://youtube.com/watch?v=euClihK7GhI https://youtube.com/watch?v=euClihK7GhI You can also find a group to start a campaign with right away. Post on /r/lfg and say you're looking for a DM and players, or find a post made by a DM and apply as a player. The biggest challenge here is scheduling - people live in different timezones, and sometimes groups fall apart because people have trouble making it on time. Your group needs to decide on a specific time you can play every week, and stick to it. Some people have trouble with this, but it's easier than it seems, if the first time doesn't work out - just try again. I was lucky to find 3 amazing groups with awesome players right away.
• kingkawn 7y ago
  TLDR; The solution for loneliness is doing things with people.
• niuzeta 7y ago
  The important question is how does one find opportunity to volunteer? Google it?
  • technofiend 7y ago
    Honestly if you work for a large company, you might start with your HR department. Corporations have a way for you to donate your time to volunteer as a tax benefit for them since they pay your salary while you volunteer. I regularly get e-mails from my HR department with opportunities based on search criteria I set. Outside of that what interests you? It might be easier to find an opportunity to help people with something you already have as a hobby.
  • veddox 7y ago
    Keep your eyes open - volunteer organisations will often put up posters to advertise their existence. Or browse your local community newspaper.
• deleted 7y ago
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• MarcScott 7y ago
  If this resonates with anyone, than might I suggest you have a look at volunteering at a CodeClub or a Coder Dojo. Your skills would be greatly appreciated in our efforts to introduce more children into coding. https://coderdojo.com/volunteer https://coderdojo.com/volunteer https://codeclub.org/en/volunteer https://codeclub.org/en/volunteer (Disclosure - I work for the Raspberry Pi Foundation)
• simonsays2 7y ago
  Dont work for free. You are taking away a paying job from someone and lining the pockets of the unscrupulous.
  • macintux 7y ago
    Yes, those awful over-funded elementary schools and public radio stations and domestic violence shelters are just being greedy.
• Apocryphon 7y ago
  How was technology touted as a solution to this, and how has it performed? The internet has allowed international social structures to exist. Hobbyist groups to political factions span seas thanks to global telecommunications. Some seemingly resemble each other. Yet depersonalized, anonymized social groupings seem to also cause isolation. So has tech been generally good or bad for loneliness?
• 2819b 7y ago
  It's frustrating in SF where it seems like the only night time social activities are drinking-related and very few businesses outside of bars/clubs are open past 8pm or so. One thing I love about going to Asia is the vibrant night time activities that of course includes bars but also night markets and late shopping that is as much for families as it is for bar goers.
  • WildGreenLeave 7y ago
    This has been what struck me the most after visiting Asia (Thailand/Bangkok) for the first time in my life, and even the 2nd time I visited there. At any point of the day or night you can do whatever you want and nobody will bat an eye. I've seen whole families having diner at 4AM in the morning while I was just walking through the city. Now compared to my own city and country (The Netherlands), people look at me weirdly if I go for a run at 12pm at night. Even though I just got home and this is the only time I have.
  • ken 7y ago
    It's there. You don't get a city as big and diverse as SF without plenty of things going on at night. You just need to know where to look. I find it surprising that hardly anyone here mentions music or the arts. Shopping isn't the only nighttime social activity. Go to the theatre, play an instrument, learn to dance.
  • OkGoDoIt 7y ago
    Several years ago in San Francisco I started volunteering at a nonprofit theater, doing ticket checkin, will call, ushering, and things like that. Since then it’s grown into a much larger part of my life, and I travel all over the West Coast stage managing for cabarets, circuses, magic shows, and stuff. It’s still all volunteer, mostly low budget local artists who can’t afford to hire high-end professionals. But it’s been amazing, completely revolutionized life in San Francisco for me. Frankly it’s the main reason I haven’t left the city, as I’m kind of burned out on all the tech stuff here. But my circus friends are awesome. If you or anyone else wants to see an entirely different side of San Francisco and make some new friends in the arts community, ping me. Contact info is in my profile.
• ImaCake 7y ago
  Volunteering strikes me as one of those "if it were a pill, everyone would be using it". In the same way that exercise is basically all benefits once you get past the risk of injury. From a community's point of view, volunteers directly benefit the community by planting trees or running soup kitchens. They also strengthen the social network of the community. Finally they improve the health outcomes of the volunteer, reducing the healthcare burden on the community! The only downside I can think of is the potential loss of legitimate work for the unemployed. My old role in science outreach involved a lot of help from local Rotary Clubs. They were mostly older people. They were enthusiastic, effective, happy, and full of the kind of amazing stories and wisdom you can only get from living a long and interesting life. I came out of that job convinced that volunteering is effective.
  • dehrmann 7y ago
    The only thing with volunteering is most organizations really want someone dedicated who will show up regularly, not just once every other month (training those people is more trouble than it's worth). My grandma volunteers a lot, and this is a frequent complaint of hers. I volunteered with something my workplace set up once. It was ok, but they never even booked a second session. We were tutoring underprivileged kids, so it's a little depressing knowing we're just someone else who didn't really support them.
• sridca 7y ago
  Why not eliminate loneliness itself instead of trying to apply a band-aid over it? Are you all afraid of what might happen?
• jaimex2 7y ago
  My solution for loneliness: Start a family.
• fluxrider 7y ago
  In Ontario, volunteering at public institutions (e.g. library, election) is as hard as getting a job, unless you are a felon forced into community service. You can count yourself lucky if you ever get to the interview step.
• dgzl 7y ago
  I was a boy scout for several years growing up and we did lots of community service. Even though the troop was half-full of miscreants, everyone was happy to participate because we enjoyed our time together.
• esotericn 7y ago
  The article seems to talk about lack of socialization, which is distinct from loneliness. A person can go to work every day, have a circle of colleagues, go to regular clubs, have a family, and still feel lonely if they don't feel a meaningful connection with others.
• snyp 7y ago
  Does it specifically have to be volunteering or can social activities also help? Something like dance classes or playing team sports?
• pretty_dumm_guy 7y ago
  I have been wondering for the past few days how quintessential contact with other humans is to lead a healthy life. Answers to my questions often point to having more human contact. However, I am still having trouble finding a lower and upper bound on this. I wish someday I could find a solution to this.
• deleted 7y ago
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• winrid 7y ago
  I agree. Also volunteer at stage rallies! We always need volunteers and the community is full of great people. http://californiarallyseries.com/ http://californiarallyseries.com/
• jokoon 7y ago
  Army reserves also take volunteers.
• Fradow 7y ago
  Lots of stories here, here is mine: I started volunteering at my local non-profit bar/pub/coffeeshop 6 months ago (runned by volunteers only, there is no employee). It has done wonder to my social life: I spent the previous 3 years in this particular city without making any friend there outside of work. Since I started, I made a lot of acquaintances, a few of them I might consider as friends later down the line. This place is really great in that you don't need a specific time investment: just sign up for a 3 hours shift when you feel like it. If you really like it, you can invest yourself more. Or just go there whenever you feel like it to talk to friendly people, without to have to find friends in advance (I wouldn't go in most pubs alone: most are designed so that you come with your friends and stay with them without talking to other group of people). This has been my particular story, but I'd advise anyone with too much free time and not enough people to spend it with to volunteer to something, anything, that match with your values. It really is life-changing. Just don't go too deep too fast: you can definitely burn out with volunteer work as well. That's one thing several persons at my non-profit specifically warned me against, in non-equivocal words, as it happened to others before.
  • hnarn 7y ago
    > my local non-profit bar/pub/coffeeshop I guess step 1 is founding a local, non-profit bar/pub/coffeeshop then :-)
    • Fradow 7y ago
      I'm not a native English speaker, I don't know the proper translation (we just say a "bar" in French, even though coffee is as important as alcohol). But as I noted, any non-profit that align with your values is good.
      • hnarn 7y ago
        I'm not either but I think your phrasing made sense, because bars look different in different parts of the world, and so does coffee shops, so it makes sense to underline that it's all of the above.
  • 7y ago
• thorwaway38383 7y ago
  A solution for depression: Just cheer the fuck up buddy.
• thepra 7y ago
  Only for people that suffer from it.
• edisonjoao 7y ago
  Or just go and download this app http://foxie.cool http://foxie.cool and start connecting with the world around you through activities and 1-1 (in a non dating way)