76 ms·

My Family’s Slave

• Dimi9909 10y ago
  such a sad story.
• vanesa- 10y ago
  Couldn't hold my tears at the end.
• Pseudosudowoodo 10y ago
  This is the second time a text has brought tears to my eyes. The first was "Where the red fern grows". Read this, it's well written and worth the time.
  • 83457 10y ago
    Yeah I was listening at work and teared up near the end.
• neaden 10y ago
  A well written story. I'd be interested in hearing from any Filipino commentators how common this practice still is/is perceived to be in the Philippines today. It's ranked 33/167 by Global Slavery Index[0] as compared to the US at #52. [0]https://www.globalslaveryindex.org/country/philippines/ https://www.globalslaveryindex.org/country/philippines/
  • barsonme 10y ago
    for people who don't click the link: a larger number is better. it's ranking by prevalence, so countries like North Korea (rank #1) worse than countries like the U.S. (#52) and Australia (also #52). I couldn't find a country that was ranked #167 out of #167, though. I think #52 is as high as it goes.
    • briholt 10y ago
      Yeah, looks like most of the West is tied for #52.
      • nebulous1 10y ago
        Due to all of them having an estimated 0.018% in slavery, which seems kind of arbitrary so they should really mark that as some sort of minimal slavery standard rather than make it look like an estimate actually based on the country. Site seems pretty good overall but is missing a hard facts and figures section to go alongside the nice graphical interface. They appear to offer a pdf report but they wanted me to request access to get it.
        • Chris2048 9y ago
          > Due to all of them having an estimated 0.018% in slavery So they didn't count prisoner labour?
          • mcv 9y ago
            If it's forced labour, it should count. If it's voluntary (to allow inmates to make some money and have something to do), then it shouldn't.
            • Chris2048 9y ago
              Prison itself isn't voluntary, so it's a biased choice.
              • mcv 9y ago
                True, but whether inmates are forced to provide cheap labor still makes a lot of difference. After the abolition of slavery in the US, prison labor has been used as a replacement in areas that used to rely on slave labor.
  • jimmywanger 10y ago
    I don't know how common it is in the Philippines, but it's very common in rich parts of China and Taiwan [0]. Although they probably do get paid something and have freedom, the situations are very similar. Dropped into a location without the ability to speak the language or financial resources to escape. [0] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EHNSDKK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EHNSDKK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?...
    • prawn 10y ago
      A friend of mine has talked about the situation in other island nations nearby where some will have young staff; males as drivers, gardening, running errands, and females for cooking, cleaning and sex. I imagine there would be a serious power imbalance with that last item.
      • wyclif 10y ago
        Here in the Philippines you can hire a young female "housekeeper" who doesn't actually do any housework, if you know what I mean. The job title is for the neighbours and the tsismosas (town gossips).
      • jimmywanger 10y ago
        Ethnically Chinese people are hated in Indonesia and the Philippines.[0] As in, during times of unrest and civil disturbance, there is a lot of murder and rape of Chinese people. Partly for this reason. The addition of ethnic differences to economic inequality is a volatile mixture. [0] https://www.amazon.com/World-Fire-Exporting-Democracy-Instability-ebook/dp/B000FC0ZB2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494988715&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+chua+world+on+fire https://www.amazon.com/World-Fire-Exporting-Democracy-Instab...
    • torantas 10y ago
      What? It's not similar at all. Not only are they paid well, there are government restrictions on who can hire a foreign live-in caregiver. Usually there has to be a compelling reason like the person is handicapped or extremely elderly. The reason it's so heavily regulated is because they are taking away jobs from native caregivers. That book was published in 2006 and if that's what you got from it, then it's extremely outdated.
  • scarletsally 10y ago
    Still a very common practice, especially in the Philippines. I'm making stats here based on my personal observation, but here's how it goes: - The lower class (below or near poverty line) would usually have relatives (sisters or mothers) helping them out - The middle class are more likely to employ help, especially once they start their own families. - The upper class definitely employ help. The number of employed help is sometimes even bigger than their own family. And they are treated as employees -- complete with uniforms etc. It's pretty common to see them eat out at a restaurant, and not have the help sit at the same table as them.
    • jnbiche 10y ago
      > The number of employed help is sometimes even bigger than their own family. And they are treated as employees -- complete with uniforms etc. I think it would be helpful to distinguish between a true remunerated employer-employee relationship like what you appear to describe above, and unpaid slavery like what is described in the article. The former is a valued part of the economy in many developing country (if you're wealthy and employ no household staff in some such countries you're considered stingy). The latter is slavery, nothing less nothing more, as the author of the piece was able to recognize at a fairly early age.
      • scarletsally 10y ago
        You're right. In the middle class, the relationship isn't as distinguished. Usually, the salary really is just an "allowance", like the author stated. Other families already consider feeding the help & providing a roof for them as their salary.
        • sidlls 10y ago
          Those other families are masters in a master-slave relationship.
          • Mz 10y ago
            Not really. Historically, slaves were often not fed by their owners. They worked all day on the plantation in the Deep South, then went home and tended their own gardens because their owners did not feed them. "Room and board" is valid compensation in some jobs. There are valid jobs to this day where having a place to stay is a large part of the compensation you will receive. It is not as black and white as you seem to think.
  • interger 10y ago
    Filipino here living in the Philippines. What I can tell you is that this kind slavery-level practice is virtually non-existent. Maids/Housekeepers/"Kasambahay"s/"Katulong"s are expected to be paid. The practice of employing kasambahays is still common among the middle class and is expected of rich families. In lower classes families that are more well off sometimes takes in relatives, of course paying them something for them to save up or paying for their tuition if they're studying. Houseworkers are mostly needed to take care of little children as it is now more common for families to have both parents working. Here in the Philippines a LOT of television dramas are with protagonists coming from lower classes, often with plots where they are being employed as houseworkers (and you kind of get where this is going :). And television viewership is almost universal here, even in remote villages. I think this really helps a lot for people who identify with these drama characters. We have now laws setting salary, benefits and treatment standards for houseworkers. This is the landmark law that was signed into law in 2013: https://www.dole.gov.ph/files/Q%20&%20A%20on%20Batas%20Kasambahay%20(RA%20No%2010361).pdf https://www.dole.gov.ph/files/Q%20&%20A%20on%20Batas%20Kasam...
  • bestopesto 10y ago
    It was common among my (upper-class) extended family, but (disclaimer) I only ever visited every year or so until I was 15. A lot needs to be done in terms of triangulating proper compensation and upping respect for some families, but I think people also need to maybe visit the Philippines. That's not to say I didn't find it weird, I totally did. They were privy to such intimate aspects of our lives, but sitting in the car next to them was weird, and they wouldn't really be "allowed" to eat with us (although my mother, around Alex's age, was fine with them eating with us). It was unsettling to me even as a young kid. It was like they were these pariahs and I didn't exactly know why and couldn't really ask why, but they were so present in the day to day that they would know when I cried over something stupid or if I had a period stain I had trouble washing out. But, I think it's also good to have some frame of reference. Again, proper compensation and respect are essential. But also realise that it's a country trying to grow it's middle class and that there's no way to go from point A to point B in the major metropolitan area without seeing children digging through trash, shanty-towns that may or may not wear the next rainy flood, etc. In these situations, proper compensation for a live-in helper to a middle class family maybe (I wouldn't know) is the stability of room and board and food, even if that means sleeping on a futon with the other live-in workers (who do different roles) in a tiny spare room. My philosophy tends to be that if you can reasonably afford to give them better standards, then do so. So if you're a foreigner, give them that extra $20 because they will certainly appreciate the exchange rate. If you're well-to-do and regularly have live-in help, having proper "maids quarters" and cots can't be too much of an ask over time.
  • poweribo 9y ago
    A live-in househelp is very common and it is true that even the not-well-to-do families even have their own katulongs, normally a relative who are a lot poorer than them. In fact, we had several throughout my childhood (all have wages btw). we call them Yaya instead of Lola (ymmv). My Aunt was like the authors Mom the way she treated the "katulongs" but that story is for another time. My Mom even used to be a katulong. Her story is probably the same as many other Filipinos born in poverty. Her mom (my grandma) worked for my-now Aunt, and let my mom stay and help with house chores, in exchange for school tuition as my grandmas wage can hardly cover it. We have househelps until now, they stayed with us for like 15-20 years and becoming our secondary parents/aunties. We give them health care plan, weekend holidays, bonuses. They have their own rooms too. Whenever I visit Philippines, I always makes sure they get their extra bonuses. Every time I send "balikbayan" boxes, they are first in line to rummage ;P. They dont really have anywhere to go after living with us for so long. They have become family. I have heard similar of Alex Tizon's story in HK and Singapore. Filipino overseas workers basically becomes the primary mom, stays with the host family till theirs kids have families of their own and yet treated like shit (ie. they dont get to eat dinner on the same table of the host family but responsible for raising her kid). Id say wtf now but I remember my Aunt... rest in peace.
    • poweribo 9y ago
      as a follow-up to my post above, we have poor relatives who would ask for financial assistance to their schooling. My moms approach would be, sure I'll give you your tuition money but youll have to stay in hour house, free food and lodging but youll have to help with the chores. My mom lives off on the "pension" we send her on a regular basis (no income nor pension money from govt) so I think thats just fair. There aint no such thing as free lunch. Youd be surprised that some of these relatives would refuse but hey choose your own life path.
• creaghpatr 10y ago
  Wow that was a remarkable piece of writing
  • Pieman103021 10y ago
    Absolutely, my immediate reaction was just wow. Past the amazing story, the way he tells it really makes it seem so real. I never imagined modern slavery to be so casual to the slave master, and I certainly never thought about how it would effect the slave master's children.
• moonka 10y ago
  I found so much of this fascinating. Not just the circumstances of Lola being brought over here, but the children's recognition of what was happening. Learning family horrors (and trying to rectify them) such as this can be one of the hardest things to deal with when growing up.
• iaw 10y ago
  Apparently the author, Alex Tizón died days after finishing the story and never knew it was chosen for the June cover. He was 57.
  • icc97 10y ago
    Indeed, I missed that, there's a small link at the top of the article [0] [0]: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-reporters-story/524538/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-repor...
  • gorbachev 10y ago
    I read a lot, but I don't usually pay attention to who the writer is, so I wasn't aware of what he has written. I've read a lot of his articles. They're just exceptional pieces of writing. The last one I remember keeping me reading almost to a point of missing my train station is his article about the missing in Alaska: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/04/in-the-land-of-missing-persons/471477/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/04/in-the-...
    • iaw 10y ago
      There's something appropriate about this being his final work. It's beautiful and complete in a way that's challenging to do in any work.
  • AceJohnny2 10y ago
    Alex Tizon built an exemplary career by listening to certain types of people—forgotten people, people on the margins, people who had never before been asked for their stories. [...] Alex did not know that we would be putting his piece on the cover of this issue; he died the day we made that decision, before we had a chance to tell him. How... serendipitous.
    • Angostura 10y ago
      A serendipity is a happy accident. I don't this really applies.
• GuB-42 10y ago
  One thing that I find somewhat surprising will all stories involving slavery is how masters are consistently portrayed as assholes in a way that goes further than what would be a "normal" master/slave relationship. Even if you think as a slave not as a human being but as, say, a working dog, or even a nice tool, it is not proper treatment. Most dog owners genuinely love their dogs and don't punish them more than what is strictly necessary. Most people naturally respect and grow attached to their "partners", whether there are humans, animals or even inanimate objects. So why do slaves, who are are capable of empathy, speech, and everything that make us human get treated worse than a mechanic's favorite wrench?
  • creepydata 10y ago
    It's very simple - for keeping them under control and keep them from thinking of themselves as human/equal or even having any independent thought at all. Neither your dog nor your wrench have to be taught their place in the world. You want your slave to internalize their existence as a slave. It's also to prevent yourself from seeing your slave as anything other than a slave. It also has to do with what's the socially acceptable and normal way of behaving in a given society. What exactly makes you think the average master/slave relationship is "not normal" for a master/slave relationship? I would think the average story would be, by definition, normal.
    • jimmywanger 10y ago
      > Neither your dog nor your wrench have to be taught their place in the world. Have you ever had a dog? Dogs definitely need to be taught what's acceptable and what's not.
      • creepydata 10y ago
        Excuse me? No, just no. Not in the same way a human slave needs to be taught. Not at all. And besides I said dogs "don't need to be taught their place in the world" not "what's acceptable and what's not." They do in a sense, of course, but not remotely in the same sense as a slave.
• huac 10y ago
  The story is very well written, but the perspective of the slavemaster's son was jarring for me to read.
• lordnacho 10y ago
  I had a terrible "Billy" moment a few years ago. I was travelling and a friend said I could use her house, because it was empty. This was perfect for me, since I had a wife and kid. It turns out there was a housekeeper. She did everything for us, made us feel very comfortable, cooked, served, helped with the kid, etc. Then one day I found out she didn't have her own room, despite the place being a multi storey mansion. In fact, she slept on a mat in the kitchen. And not only that, there would be a phone call each morning to wake her up, from the master of the house. He didn't want her to get too comfy while the family was out. It was all a bit shocking. I still haven't chatted to my friend about this, because what on earth do you say? And otherwise ordinary western educated person -in fact a feminist, globalist, left-leaning idealist- who has a slave? What if I've misunderstood something? Maybe my friend didn't approve of it? Maybe he did? I'd never be able to talk to my friend again. I got the housekeeper a present when we left, as she'd been so good at taking care of us. But naturally I didn't enquire any further into her relationship with the family. ------- My main thought is there's a sort of Stockholm syndrome going on. Lola still had thoughts for her family back home, but she was so integrated in the new family it became part of her life, too. I guess it's a coping mechanism. Even slaves need meaning in their lives, and taking care of kids is meaning. ------- Ok, enough of moralizing. Actually I find it comforting that there is at least some sympathy for my predicament. At least one or two of you think it is possible that they would behave similarly. Or at least acknowledge the awkward situation. I will talk to this friend in person next time I'm in that part of the world, which should be soon, about this incident, and get the full story of how their housekeeper lives.
  • bflesch 10y ago
    So you're trying to tell us that your feeling of uncomfortness is the only thing stopping you from growing a spine and standing up for such an inhumane treatment, that apart from you nobody else can witness? Have some decency and confront your so-called friend. How can people be rich and not have the decency to give the person feeding you and your family a freaking room. And I really had to constrain myself from using expletives in this reply.
    • MrLeap 10y ago
• balls187 10y ago
  I grew up in Subic Bay Naval base. Every military family had a local filipino house keeper, and I remember one of ours vividly. I had to text my mom and find out if we paid her--I couldn't imagine my family owning a slave.
  • creepydata 10y ago
    So, What did your mom say?
    • balls187 10y ago
      > So, What did your mom say? "Paid house keeper plus all supplies and food. Helped her family also." While I have no proof, I'm inclined to believe her. It's hard to imagine my parents owning a slave AND the US Military allowing it's personnel to keep slaves AND word of that not making it back to the US Mainland.
      • merpnderp 10y ago
        Knowing how base authorities handle off-base housing, I'd say the chances of this are next to zero. I doubt there's a military officer who isn't fully aware that the US's war with the most casualties was the one to end slavery.
        • anigbrowl 10y ago
          I hope you're right, but it's also worth looking into the history of the Philippine-American war, which like many smaller wars seems to have been largely forgotten by history. I wasn't even aware of it until I came upon a gruesome picture of US soldiers posing in front of a pile of thousands of skulls in one of my history books. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine%E2%80%93American_War https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine%E2%80%93American_Wa...
          • aedron 9y ago
            Completely forgotten, and one of the most brutal and disgusting genocidal military campaigns in (fairly) modern time.
• blablabla123 10y ago
  I stopped after reading the first few sentences. Why is this guy mentioning that he brought her ashes in a PLASTIC box in HIS car? Oh my god...
• cdelsolar 10y ago
  My God, what an amazing article.
• peterwwillis 10y ago
  I visited Hong Kong a year ago. It is famous for its night markets, its abundant partying, and the massive financial powerhouses that make their home here. I did all the tourist things, I partied, I explored, it was great. A couchsurfing host showed me around the city on a tram. She pointed out masses of ladies in plain clothing sitting around on the sidewalks and in streets. It was a Sunday. This was the "maids day", the one day a week when maids are required not to work. There were thousands of them, all sitting in groups around the streets and buildings that were closed on the weekends. Groups of street vendors dotted the scene. They appeared when the maids did, a sort of "maid economy", where extremely cheap goods and snacks are sold to the maids on their time off. At night they sleep on the street, and are easily victimized. The maids have no place to live. During the week they sleep on the floor in a closet, or on a cot in the kitchen of a typical Hong Kong home, and work all day and night, 6 days a week. The little money they make they send home to their family. They are mostly Filipino, mostly illegal immigrants, and as such, they have no rights. And because they have no status here, they also can't get a legal job, leaving them with no other choice to make a living. There are an estimated 200,000 female domestic workers in Hong Kong (336,000 migrant domestic workers overall), and they are effectively slaves. As many as 56,000 migrant domestic workers here endure forced labor. http://money.cnn.com/2016/03/15/news/hong-kong-forced-labor-maids/ http://money.cnn.com/2016/03/15/news/hong-kong-forced-labor-... As you might imagine, a large number of these maids are victimized by their "host families". The really scary thing? I would have had absolutely no clue this was going on if my host hadn't pointed it out to me.
  • khuey 10y ago
    They're not illegal immigrants. All of that happens with the approval of the HK government.
  • Bakary 10y ago
    When I first saw Hong Kong I fell in love with the place and have wanted to live there ever since. But I also quickly realized that it is a hellish place if you have no resources.
  • MockObject 10y ago
    They aren't permitted to go back home and sleep on the weekends? Why not?
• BrandoElFollito 10y ago
  I watched a few years ago a French movie about a Parisian family owning a quasi-slave, a young woman from (IIRC) Africa. The son of the family finally sent an anonymous mail to an organization which had it taken care of. The interesting character was the grandmother who was vehemently supporting her son (the father of the boy who sent an email) until she realized how the slave-girl was treated. The movie was average but I am mentioning it here because contemporary slavery (or almost slavery) can happen next door, today. Even a an average movie (we call these in French "TV movies) can be eye opening.
  • Symbiote 10y ago
    What's the name of the film?
    • mycatislenin 10y ago
      Possibly "L'esclavage moderne de Fatou"
      • BrandoElFollito 9y ago
        Unfortunately not. I watched the movie some 5 to 10 years ago and I cannot remember neither the title nor the actors. Sorry.
• shas3 10y ago
  Great read! Many Asian countries have the concept of live-in housekeepers. I think the 'best' (scraping the bottom, here) arrangement is in Singapore, where the government, laws, and law-enforcement ensure that immigrant live-in housekeepers are treated fairly- kinda like au pairs, etc. in the US. I knew someone in India who brought their live-in maid's sister to the US in some capacity (and AFAIK, paid her wages- she returned happier and was able to put her kids, etc. in better schools). I am pretty sure some of these arrangements, especially in poorer Asian countries like India, Indonesia, Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, etc. are effectively, slavery. In most cases in Asian countries, live-in housekeepers are paid wages and their families are provided with various amenities and help- kinda like a very small-scale version of the servants' lives in Downton Abbey. But, there are at least two very serious problems: 1. cultural norms allow the servants to be treated very poorly- as second-class citizens, 2. while obscure well-meaning laws exist to prevent trafficking in India, law enforcement doesn't care much if they are treated shittily (physical/mental abuse, nonpayment of wages, etc. often go unreported or are ignored by cops).
  • Balgair 10y ago
    Humanity is both so strange and so static. We got 'rid' of slavery in most of the world no later than a century ago. It was bloody and difficult to do, but we managed it. Yet, there are still people living as just the same as slaves century or more ago, in a world of space ships and the internet. Yeah, tech has helped, we don't have smallpox anymore and the mass famines have stopped recently, but the deeper gestal psyche is the same. The old saying of history repeating itself if you do not listen to it comes to mind. But, what can we do, humans are still humans, basically the same for the last ~10k years. No matter how much we want to change, how much time and effort and writing and money and sweat and blood and death and war, we cannot. Its not that we are dystopian now, maybe, its that we have always been so.
    • rublev 10y ago
      The dystopia has been abstracted.
    • SimbaOnSteroids 10y ago
• dbg31415 10y ago
  When I was in elementary school in the 80s one of my friends has a "nanny" who slept on a cot in the laundry room in the basement. I didn't think much of it, a few of us had housekeepers and I just imagined a few other people had live-in help too, like on TV shows... A year or two into our friendship, I was over at their house after school and around dinner time I asked if I could stay. The parents said, "Sure, no problem... just let your parents know..." They went to talk to the "nanny" -- who didn't speak any English -- and let her know to set another plate. There was some miscommunication, the "nanny" didn't expect the father to be home for dinner, so they didn't quite have enough food prepared for me too, since they were already one up. That's sort of what my friend translated after... anyway all I saw was two adults arguing and then the father, not liking the "nanny" talking back to him, slapped her face. Hard. Then stood over her with a clenched fist and yelled at her in a language I didn't understand. My friend was mortified, he started apologizing to me that I had to see it... and the mother came to yell at the father... and ultimately I didn't get to stay for dinner... for weeks my friend just kept apologizing, saying he was sorry I saw what I saw and sorry his father wasn't kinder to their "nanny"... At some point, 25+ years later, I saw the "nanny" walking with the mother in a grocery store. She still didn't speak English, but she smiled at me and knew who I was. My friend's mother and I caught up, and it hit me... this wasn't really a "nanny" and I probably didn't have a word for that relationship in my vocabulary. She was part of the family, went to all the school functions and plays and soccer games... cooked for them... kept house... but wasn't related... and who knows if she was paid or not -- but I doubt it... Still she always doted on children. Seeing her all those years later, the facial expressions she made when seeing me were just like seeing a grandmother or aunt. Her face lit up, and she was just excited and proud to see me all grown up. Anyway this story was really powerful and reminded me of that woman, and got me thinking we probably all know a Lola -- some degree of Lola anyway. Slavery probably isn't as uncommon as we'd like it to be.
  • ksenzee 10y ago
    > we probably all know a Lola Not sure what your value of "we" is. I've never met anyone like Lola, and I've never heard a story like this from anyone I know. Then again, I didn't have a housekeeper or know anyone who did. People in my social class were glad to keep the electric bill paid and have a working car to drive.
• hitekker 10y ago
  >The night ended when she declared that I would never understand her relationship with Lola. Never. Her voice was so guttural and pained that thinking of it even now, so many years later, feels like a punch to the stomach. It’s a terrible thing to hate your own mother, and that night I did. The look in her eyes made clear that she felt the same way about me. The mother makes me wonder if losing your humanity means becoming an animal.
  • anigbrowl 10y ago
    For a lot of people with experience of abuse, animal relationships are arguably superior to human ones because animals are more emotionally reliable. Another way to look at this is to consider humans as eusocial animals and speculate on whether someone is more concerned with their identity/position within a given or monolithic social body or their position as a discrete conscious individual. Over time the dichotomy between these positions might result in acute psychic stresses. There's a conjectural argument that schizoid tendencies are an evolutionary remnant of social organization, most famously explore din Jaynes' The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, which is worth reading even if you reject his thesis.
  • sgt101 10y ago
    I guess that being human means being part of a human society, and the acts of someone who loses their humanity means that they are excluded from human society.
• nradov 10y ago
  For those who think it can't happen here, there was a recent case in Silicon Valley where a group of small business owners was keeping slaves. I actually ate at their restaurant and had no idea what was going on. http://www.mercurynews.com/2015/11/20/plight-of-saratoga-human-trafficking-victims-revealed/ http://www.mercurynews.com/2015/11/20/plight-of-saratoga-hum...
  • chrisseaton 10y ago
    But the article is already about how it happened here (the US) isn't it?
  • legolas2412 10y ago
    Isn't spain a reasonable high wage country? I wonder what made these people accept such lives in the US.
    • Mz 10y ago
      from the article: Desperate to make a living after the global economic collapse in 2008 hit Spain particularly hard, at least three victims accepted the jobs without meeting the restaurant and salon owners, Estanislao said. In some cases, the group paid for their tickets and told them they could work off the debt.
  • 21 10y ago
    It also happens in London, with many nail shops basically having slaves. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2491045/97-arrested-in-raids-on-nail-bars-as-cops-rescue-14-trafficking-victims-in-modern-day-slavery-crackdown/ https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2491045/97-arrested-in-raids-o... And there are also a lot of illegal cannabis growing locations which basically have slave boys from Vietnam tending them. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/26/uk-police-criticised-failure-help-enslaved-vietnamese-cannabis-farmers https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/26/uk-police-crit...
  • Spooky23 10y ago
    This happens in the Chinese community all of the time. In my area, waitstaff in restaurants are often shipped in via the Chinatown bus from up to 200 miles away. They are like ghosts, movie game from place to place.
• wavefunction 10y ago
  I downvoted you for bullshit
  • naiveattack 10y ago
    I invite you to point out a flaw in my observations. Sometimes it's good to be able to rationality ground your morality instead of merely feeling it. Guess which one will hold up when actually challenged in real life.
    • ArchReaper 10y ago
      Your whole post is disingenuous and full of logical fallacies.[1] >Take a homeless person and let them sleep in your kitchen in exchange for mowing your lawn -> moral hero. This is a flawed thesis if you're still trying to argue w.r.t. lordnacho's post. >Take a homeless person First off, there's no reason to believe that that person was or was not homeless prior to the situation. This is called an "Argument from ignorance"[2] >let them sleep in your kitchen in exchange for mowing your lawn This premise is really a False analogy[3], and explicitly ignores the other warning signs in his post that would indicate that this is not what the situation truly is. Also, in most developed countries, there are very specific labor and tenant laws. "I'm letting him sleep on my couch if he mows my lawn once a week" is not a legal agreement. It is also not equivalent to "I have a live-in maid" - which also has a buttload of legal protections. All of your other statements are riddled with half-truth bullshit and I'm not interested in explicitly explaining the rest to you. If you are, in fact, serious about being able to "rationality ground your morality" then I suggest you take a look at some of your statements and think about how grounded in reality they truly are. [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies [2]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance [3]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_analogy#False_analogy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_analogy#False_an...
      • naiveattack 10y ago
        My comment was not an argument/direct analogy to the parent. They were a series of observations designed to illustrate a particular/contrasting point. Or rather an attempt to show where the boundaries lie in the grey of such thought. Read the reply again without assuming the parents context. Do you agree with the observations presented?
• southphillyman 10y ago
  Interesting that the author and his siblings had empathy for the servant. In most American Slavery stories the entire household, including young children, are portrayed as being evil and unforgiving towards the slaves. In these situations I wonder if there is any sort of innate feeling of compassion and decency and how that manifest itself in a culture where slavery and cruelty is the norm.
  • bmmayer1 10y ago
    Yes, except as a full grown adult, the author never reported the situation to the authorities, took this 'secret' to the grave and even 'inherited' his slave from his parents. He said he paid her an allowance (which didn't sound like much) and also didn't make her work after she lived with them, but that's a token effort to right the injustice of decades of work without pay.
    • ArchReaper 10y ago
      Devil's advocate: After the mother passed, Lola had nowhere to go, and no job or career or savings. She had nothing, except for the kids that she helped raise since their birth. The author gave her not only a place to live rent-free, but paid her some amount of money he could afford so she could better enjoy her life. I'm not saying either of our comments are 100% accurate, but you are taking a pretty 1-sided viewpoint to the situation. You can't pretend like the relationship between the author and Lola was strictly one of slave-master - that's disingenuous. It's really easy to judge someone else for what they didn't do when you have no understanding of what their lives were like.
    • MaxfordAndSons 10y ago
      Are you an American? If so: America has never paid reparations to former slaves or their descendants. He may have only paid her a token sum, but it's better than the rest of us have done, so don't act holier than thou about it. Also, he clearly didn't plan to take his secret to the grave, it's on the cover of the Atlantic.
      • 10y ago
• jstewartmobile 10y ago
  Most of the guys I went to engineering school with were Indians (Brahmins), and they'd frequently mention how the jobs here paid more, but they still wanted to go back to India because they'd have to treat their servants "differently" here. I just assumed it was a payroll issue. Perhaps I assumed wrongly.
  • phire 10y ago
    It varies from area to area and case by case, ranging from servants who live in nearby shanty towns who are payed "technically livable wages"; To live-in servants who are paid what we would consider unfair wages, but compensated in food and board. Even among the live-in servants there will be huge ranges in the fairness (or in this case, existence) of the wages they get, the amount of respect they are given, the quality of the food/board, the amount of free time they get, and the amount of rights they are allowed to express.
  • praneshp 10y ago
    Did you usually ask your Indian clasmates' caste? Or did they volunteer that information themselves?
    • yardie 10y ago
      If you're familiar with Indian culture you can kind of tell the caste from the surname.
      • 13of40 10y ago
        Don't know how contemporary this advice is, but this seems to be the guidance: http://www.hindubooks.org/scriptures/manusmriti/ch2/ch2_31_40.html http://www.hindubooks.org/scriptures/manusmriti/ch2/ch2_31_4...
        • praneshp 10y ago
          In many parts of India, in most cases, Mr Foo Bar's kid will be called Baz Foo. So as people start calling their kids more modern names not derived from Sanskrit, the text you linked starts getting outdated.
• tmaly 10y ago
  Lola happens to be the word for Grandma in the Philippines. The description of this idea of a live in slave is alive and well in many parts of Asian and the Middle East. Life in the Philippines is quite a struggle especially in the provinces. I know of a few people that live and work in Hong Kong doing the same job described in the article, but they are doing it for two families for very little pay.
  • seppin 10y ago
    I am wrong to think that this kind of thing is more acceptable in Asia than anywhere else?
    • lacampbell 10y ago
      It's more acceptable outside the west. Western cultures were the ones who decided slavery was a universal sin and had to be eradicated everywhere. There are still whole races of people kept as slaves in sub-saharan Africa, for example. And I mean outright slavery, no ambiguity about it. Abolitionism is a Eurocentric concept. Another example from Asia. Two people were kept as slaves for 14 years in a tofu factory. This is in a developed country with a GDP per capita comparable to Spains. They were caught and fined 40k USD, no jail time. http://www.taiwannews.com.tw/en/news/3105152 http://www.taiwannews.com.tw/en/news/3105152
      • MrZongle2 10y ago
        Western cultures were the ones who decided slavery was a universal sin and had to be eradicated everywhere. Were they wrong?
        • lacampbell 10y ago
          No, they were not. Slavery is a universal wrong.
          • MrZongle2 10y ago
• valuearb 10y ago
  Horribly compelling story. When Ulysses S Grants father-in-law died a few years before the civil war, he left them his slave. The Grants were dead broke, Ulysses had failed at farming and the slave was worth a lot of money, they could have worked him or sold him to make the their life instantly better. Instead Ulysses took him to the courthouse and made him a free man. How hard is it to have empathy for others?
  • jackfoxy 10y ago
    I wish I could upvote this more than once.
  • Mz 10y ago
    How hard is it to have empathy for others? Harder for most people than you seem to think.
  • randyrand 10y ago
    > How hard is it to have empathy for others? That really depends on the person. Some people don't have empathy. As a sufferer of DPDR, a lot of times I don't even feel I have emotion.
    • emodendroket 10y ago
      I think that even people with extreme mental disorders can probably imagine that they themselves would not very much like to be slaves who are beaten and scolded on a whim.
      • JCharante 9y ago
        and yet would continue to support an industry and enjoy the result of torture.
    • goldenkey 9y ago
      As if DPDR blocks empathy...True empathy is based on logic. Based on knowing ones' situation isn't a one-off.
• RangerScience 10y ago
  Note - This is a modern tale, and the title is accurate. This isn't about unearthing stories from the 1800; this is by the son raised by the slave in question. This was very much worth the read. It's touching and troubling and a human story.
• achou 10y ago
  Truly remarkable story. One thing that struck me is that Lola did so much of the work of a traditional mother's role: raising the kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and even providing emotional support. The mother had to take on a traditional father's role in bringing home an income. And the actual father - well, he did neither role and seemed to just freeload, gamble, abuse, and finally disappear. All of the work in a traditional mother's role, well it's usually uncompensated too. Sure it's a "labor of love" but it's also just a huge amount of work, for decades. An argument could be made that the entire capitalist system is built upon uncompensated labor. Just ask your mom.
  • atemerev 10y ago
    Unfortunately, things were no better in Soviet-block countries. Perhaps, working women were a little more common, but it was (and probably still is) a far cry from true equality.
    • int_19h 10y ago
      Soviet-block countries, especially USSR itself, were actually rather socially conservative, at least from Stalin on. Traditional gender roles in general, and as they pertain to nuclear family, were part of their internal propaganda.
  • lacampbell 10y ago
    An argument could be made that the entire capitalist system is built upon uncompensated labor. Just ask your mom. Are you insinuating that in a traditional nuclear family, where a father provides all the money for housing, food, clothing and sundry - the mothers house work constitutes "uncompensated labour"? And that this is the basis of capitalism? What's your humane socialist alternative? Collectivising the children and raising them in a commune?
    • achou 10y ago
      My point is that the systems we've built optimize for things we choose to measure. We're very much measuring and optimizing for money and the kinds of goods and services money can be exchanged for. But to a startling degree we're not choosing to measure all the other hard work that has to get done if we expect humanity to exist beyond one generation. This article just puts it in stark relief for me. All of the work that Lola had to do for so many decades, working herself to exhaustion... all of that work still needs to get done for every other family too.
• bandrami 10y ago
  Editor's note: a reporter's final story https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-reporters-story/524538/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-repor... Wow
• jhulla 10y ago
  Wonderful and deeply moving narrative. Unfortunately through modern capitalism & the global supply chain we are all complicit in slavery. The lowest cost of labor is zero or near zero. The challenge for miners/garment makers/manufacturers/industrial farms/etc. is to circumvent local laws & regulatory bodies while expanding their profit margins. Once past the local regulatory hurdle, the global supply chain adds successive layers of obfuscation and legitimacy until finished goods reach our homes. At that point, we can't tell anymore the amount of slave labor (or environmental externalities for that matter) that went into the product, so most people buy with little regard. The solution is to strengthen regulatory bodies at all steps of the process worldwide with punitive damages to violators making the cost of circumventing labor laws greater than the benefit from exploiting poor/at-risk populations. This is an ongoing challenge for all governments worldwide - the difference is only of scale. Whether it is the plight of poultry workers in the midwest, slave fishermen in asia, trafficked women in Europe or indentured workers the world over, exploitation is an intertwined economic and moral problem. As for Lola, I found it heartwarming that the author accompanied her home twice.
• randyrand 10y ago
  I'm curious how this story fits into today's US politics. For those that are unaware, the Atlantic is a politically left USA website, so typically there is some connection to modern politics in the life-story pieces.
  • Steko 10y ago
    The Atlantic is a 160 year old magazine that leans a lot more to the center than to the left.
• Renaud 10y ago
  Here in HK I sponsor the visa of a Domestic Helper from the Philippines. Her situation is obviously better that Lola but the cards are really stacked against them. They are literally second-class citizens: their visa doesn't entitle them to any hope of becoming full-time residents, regardless of how many decades of their life they spent in the service of others. The whole Domestic Helper's contact is a sham: there is rampant abuse and very little interest in enforcing any of the few rights they have. It is a form of institutionalised slavery. Hundred of thousands of helpers are taking care of people's kids and the elderly, they are indirectly essential to the success of the economy, yet get little recognition for it.
  • eumenides1 10y ago
    Weird question, but why do you still do it if you feel they are second-class citizens? What's the general local attitude towards domestic helpers. I've been to HK and I was personally shocked at my local acquaintance's attitude towards them (negative). At a philosophical level, this is a form of slavery/racism/caste system. At a pragmatic level, nobody in HK wants to do their work, people in the Philippines need the income, and most situations are mutually beneficial. So why not?
    • Renaud 9y ago
      You hinted at the reasons: the work they provide is useful and they need it to provide income to their families. The system is skewed against them but it doesn't mean you have to take advantage of the lack of protective rights to abuse your power over their life. The helper I sponsor is basically free to do what she wants. She comes a few hours a week doing basic household chores. She is paid decently and is able to take holidays back home a few times a year and work for other people to increase her income.
  • Banthum 10y ago
    It's one of those situations where it only feels horrifying because you're seeing it. Assuming these helpers aren't being tricked into taking the work, they are choosing it. Which means that whatever alternatives they face in their homeland (and out of sight of the wealthy intelligentsia) are even worse. What would be terrible is if this opportunity was cut off to assuage the consciences of the wealthy, whether by preventing these visas or by forcing minimum compensation up such that people demand fewer of them. This is like building a wall around a starving village so you don't have to look at the suffering kids, and pretending you've solved the problem. You didn't solve their problem - you solved yours. In truth the problem has to get solved in the home country of these workers, and most of that solution has to come from them. Foreigners can't descend on a stable society and improve it, they often make it worse.
• deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
• jondubois 10y ago
  This story highlights just how blurry and complex things can get. Maybe to a lesser extent we are all slaves of the system because we have to work increasingly long hours for an ever decreasing wage. I think that the most kind-hearted and generous people tend to slowly slip into slavery over time because the system tends to reward greedy, selfish people. The sudden, massive collapse of the system will come when there won't be enough altruistic, productive people left to support all the greedy, non-productive ones which are currently winning the game of natural selection.
  • 21 10y ago
    Nassim Nicholas Taleb - "The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary".
• rumblefrog 10y ago
  I usually never read something this long. But this is well worth it. A very touching story as well.
• throwaway66494 10y ago
  My family adopted my female cousin nearly 30 years ago from Guatemala. The country was in civil war at the time so bringing her to the U.S. was in her best interest. Unfortunately my mother and aunt (sisters of her birth father) kept her so locked down that she is effectively a slave. My aunt hasn't worked in decades because my little sister has always signed every paycheck over to my aunt. After working for nearly 25 years my sister has no money, doesn't have a bank account, has no friends, has dated only once (and they shamed her when she did), no drivers license, isn't allowed to do anything on her own. She isn't allowed to walk to work. She isn't allowed to have opinions, or a private conversation, or until recently, a cellphone. I finally bought her a cellphone the day after my mother died in 2014. I thought things would change after my mother died, but my aunt continued her control. My sister seems happy and genuinely loves my aunt and now deceased mother. My family always claimed that her original immigration paperwork had an error which puts her at risk at deportation justifying her isolation. But I doubt the sincerity of this claim given that is conveniently forgotten when it comes time for her to go out and earn a paycheck. Even though I always objected to her treatment, I feel complicit. But now, I don't think I could suggest a better way to live. All I can do is set aside enough money for her retirement. Any thoughts or comments are appreciated but at the very least I appreciate this opportunity to share her story.
  • Mtinie 10y ago
    Rather than seeking counsel from HN, may I strongly recommend you find a practicing family and/or immigration lawyer if you really want to help? I commend your action of putting money away, but based on your description, your cousin has been/ is being subjected to familial abuse. Reach inside yourself and find the courage to inform someone. Seek help from those qualified to give it, please.
    • edward_rolf 10y ago
      Very good advise, apart from the "rather than".
    • Mtinie 10y ago
      s/"Rather than"/"In addition to" I agree with @edward_rolf's criticism of my original phrasing, the first sentence can be improved.
• a-fake-account 10y ago
  Alert the authorities of your aunt now. Otherwise yes you are very complicit and equally guilty.
  • dang 9y ago
    We detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14354665 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14354665 and marked it off-topic.
• SanPilot 10y ago
  My parents were born and have lived in Pakistan for their entire childhood up to adulthood. They then moved to the United States, where I was born and have lived for my entire life. On occasion, I visited my parent's home in Pakistan, although the trips became increasingly scarce as grandparents passed (now all four are gone). The house has always had domestic workers present, a single family. The first few times a maid, who we called Maacy whose children went to a nearby school and whose husband would work nearby. Her family was among the lower classes of the country, and her salary brought her and her children opportunities she could never otherwise have had. I remember talking with her in the small room that was her quarters; sometimes I would help her with her work. On later visits, she had left and another family, whose father served as the household driver occupied the same space. One time, I saw the previous maid attending a gathering that was taking place. She recognized me immediately, sharing an embrace and leaving me on my way.
  • emodendroket 10y ago
    I think that is really rather different from being a "domestic worker" who receives no pay and is never allowed to leave the home, however.
  • danso 9y ago
    The situation you describe seems to involve inequality, but it's significantly different than what "Lola" is described to have endured. The decision to move to the U.S. was entirely the author's family's. Lola was promised that she would get paid enough to move back, but the family never kept that promise. When she begged for them to allow her to visit her dying parents, they refused. And then her 5-year visa ran out, and because the family did not deal with that lapse, Lola was now forced to live in slavery forever because trying to send her back would jeopardize the entire family's immigration status. Stupid Lola! The author is a great writer, and obviously a distinguished journalist. If this article had been written by the real-life version of "Silicon Valley's" Peter Gregory (including the untimely death), I have a feeling sentiment toward the piece would be much different.
• deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
• selimthegrim 10y ago
  Steve Sailer in the comments suggesting the best idea for reparations in this case blew my mind.
  • nyolfen 9y ago
    the bit he mentioned about this guy's autobiography was really something else
• Justin_K 10y ago
  Magnificent story
• employee8000 10y ago
  Every day you let her live in these disgusting situation makes you complicit in this crime. Your aunt is stealing the life away from your sister. Free her.
  • nether 10y ago
    Why are you typing comments on HN instead of atoning for your countless sins?
    • quirkafleeg 9y ago
      I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here. He wasn't calling the OP a sinner, or even questioning his posting on HN, he was telling him to do something to stop the abuse of his sister.
      • abritinthebay 9y ago
        Some people would rather criticize the critics than admit there is a problem. :(
        • quirkafleeg 9y ago
          Indeed. Rather than worrying about hurting the feelings of someone sharing a "difficult situation" (the horrible exploitation and abuse of someone else, that they admit themselves they "feel complicit" in), perhaps some people here should spare more concern for the actual victim.
          • dang 9y ago
            Comments on HN do nothing for the victim, and it's self-righteous posturing to pretend they do. We don't do this kind of thing because we care about someone we'd never heard of until a minute ago. It's an opportune way to get some of our own anger out and see ourselves as moral at the same time. Lashing out at the person you're talking to, on the other hand, actually can do harm—and that only means hurting the victim further as well.
• quirkafleeg 10y ago
  (Hate doing this, but as it's not a typo but a common mistake that may spread) The noun is advice. Advise is a verb. (AFAIK this isn't a British/American difference.)
  • dang 9y ago
    We detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14355449 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14355449 and marked it off-topic.
    • quirkafleeg 9y ago
      This is bizarre. Informative, factual posts that are not rude or insulting are "off topic" now? It wasn't a grammar Nazi post or about a typo, advice/advise is a common and easily corrected error that should be corrected, and I did so as politely as possible. Most people would appreciate it (I know I would). All you've done by removing a single post (with multiple upvotes) from the thread is increase the chances that other people will copy/make the same mistake. Edit: in fact it's even more baffling than I first thought, you didn't even remove it, you simply moved it to a position where some people, if they get that far, will not understand what it's about.
• endymi0n 9y ago
  What an incredibly deep and well written story. I did not know or appreciate that the author Alex Tizon died a few hours before publication - and this piece was his Faustus, the one personal story he struggled for years to write. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-reporters-story/524538/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/a-repor... I rarely use the word masterpiece, but it feels appropriate here.
  • nunb 9y ago
    well said -- I just came here to post that same link
  • propman 9y ago
    I wholeheartedly agree, I was deeply moved by this and loved his writing style so much and wanted to read something else by him. Shocking that he died so soon, seemed like such a good man.
• danso 9y ago
  I'm late on commenting on this. Saw the story passed around here and on social media and figured it'd be worth waiting until the evening to read... I actually ended up reading Tizon's piece after seeing this Tweet from someone I follow, which pointed out sanitized obituary, which Tizon played a part in informing: https://twitter.com/WendyBrandes/status/864655516227784704 https://twitter.com/WendyBrandes/status/864655516227784704 http://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016807437_pulidoobit20m.html http://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016807437... I greatly appreciate Tizon's life work and his decision to write about Lola, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling a great sense of disillusionment, in some ways greater than I've felt about any recent purported journalism scandals, or even the classic infamous ones [0]. It's a complex story and well-told, one in which I simultaneously feel great hatred for Tizon's mother while also seeing Tizon's conflicted perspective. I know how I'd want to act if I were in Tizon's shoes, but (assuming a reasonably reliable narrator) I empathize with how he was constrained to take what seems like obvious moral action. Journalists, even Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporters, are just human, I suppose. But to know that someone could have the moral impetus to do such important investigative reporting on behalf of the victimized in our world, yet could not himself call out the modern-day slavery present in his life...that is deeply unsettling. [0] https://www.cjr.org/the_feature/the_fabulist_who_changed_journalism.php https://www.cjr.org/the_feature/the_fabulist_who_changed_jou...
  • abalashov 9y ago
    Well, like you said, he's only human. And in order to write about his own family's story in a compelling and provocative way, one has to have some journalistic thesis to offer, not just to give a matter-of-fact descriptive account. That requires reaching some conclusions and finding some closure on one's own first. Don't underestimate the psychological escape velocity required to overcome the pull of that which has been presented to you as normal--and which you believed in some measure to be normal--for much of your life, notwithstanding occasional misgivings and questions. That pull can persist well into middle age, and long after you've realised the problem intellectually. And of course, there are practical questions to consider, such as how such a revelation might tank one's career or credibility as a journalist. That might seem unprincipled, but remember that any moral position is diluted by one's own ongoing deliberations. Finally, writing about people who are still alive and who may be impacted by your story is an often overlooked source of sensitivity. Imagine how this story might have impacted Alex Tizon's own mother if published while she were still alive.
• syngrog66 9y ago
  not appropriate for HN
• hnaccount123 9y ago
  Someone commented on twitter that it's weird how much he empathizes and is complicit with his mom, especially after owning a slave. He also points out that he mentions she worked at Fairview Training Center, which doesn't exactly have a good history - http://www.oregonlive.com/opinion/index.ssf/2010/01/erasing_fairviews_horrors.html http://www.oregonlive.com/opinion/index.ssf/2010/01/erasing_... Usually I feel like pointing out these things is sort of not understanding the perspective, but also after reading Lola's obituary (http://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016807437_pulidoobit20m.html http://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016807437...) it seems like Alex Tizon resolves himself of a lot of the responsibility for the cruel things his mother has done. Am I missing something here or does this seem to humanize her cruel actions a little bit too much...
  • helb 9y ago
    Seattle Times published a followup yesterday: Why the obituary for Eudocia Tomas Pulido didn’t tell the story of her life in slavery, http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/northwest/why-the-obituary-for-eudocia-tomas-pulido-didnt-tell-the-story-of-her-life-in-slavery/ http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/northwest/why-the-o...
• dennisgorelik 9y ago
  Lola was a servant, but not a slave. She was much closer to being a volunteer than to a slave.
  • kelnos 9y ago
    Servants get paid and have the freedom to choose their own destiny. Lola had neither of those things.
    • abalashov 9y ago
      If I had to read the grandparent's comment charitably, there is a formal distinction in that Lola's relationship to the family was not legally institutionalised. If they tried to stop her from leaving the house by force, they would be committing a crime. Whether it amounted to de facto slavery is a different question, as I pointed out in another comment on this article.
      • kelnos 9y ago
        I fail to see how the distinction matters. If you are treated like a slave, act like a slave, required to do a slave's work, and aren't compensated and are coerced into giving up your freedom, then you are a slave. The legalities or formal relationship is irrelevant. The de facto nature of her slavery is all that matters.
        • abalashov 9y ago
          I don't disagree with you in the slightest, personally. I was just trying to provide some interpretation of the possible guiding sentiment behind ancestor comments.
    • dennisgorelik 9y ago
      > Servants get paid Not necessarily. They could be volunteers. > freedom to choose their own destiny Lola had the freedom to choose when she was deciding to move to the US. She also had freedom to choose when she was deciding whether to keep working for that family. If she wanted - she could walk out any time. Lola also wanted to keep working even when she retired and was even discouraged from working. Calling that relationship "slavery" is not fair to actual "slaves" who were forced to work against their will.
• abalashov 9y ago
  It's been a while since I read something that truly brought tears to my eyes. What a moving, eye-opening and well-written piece of literature! Everyone owes it to themselves to read this story.
• throwaway87787 9y ago
  From Steve Sailer: > Affluent Immigrants Culturally-Enriching Modern USA with Their Diverse Customs, Such as Slave-Owning http://www.unz.com/isteve/immigrants-culturally-enriching-modern-usa-with-diverse-customs-such-as-slave-owning/ http://www.unz.com/isteve/immigrants-culturally-enriching-mo...
• keeptrying 9y ago
  It's amazing how people who see themselves as virtuous people are complicit in netting out such abuse in someone they all rely on a lot. I'll posit that this happens a lot. it's very easy to "miss" - because of the power of social proof. You see so many people mistreat someone and thus it's easy to fall into the same behaviour. Check your own relationships - I think you'd be surprised at what you'd find.
• anotheryou 9y ago
  An honest question: Is the "animal howl/cry" something normal to write? To me as a non-native speaker it sounds tinted in a bad way. On something else: "I tapped the cheap plastic box and regretted not buying a real urn, made of porcelain or rosewood." Even in the very end, she's still not one of them for him. I'm glad though, he was brave enough to write this article anyways.
  • sleepychu 9y ago
    > An honest question: Is the "animal howl/cry" something normal to write? To me as a non-native speaker it sounds tinted in a bad way. I'd say so, I think it refers to a sort of primal response to pain, a reaction you'd have if you were deeply wounded.
• alistproducer2 9y ago
  My mother is from Jamaica and I have a similar story. I was in Jamaica last summer visiting my grandmother. We were sitting on he porch and she was telling me how disappointed she was in her sister, who she raised as a daughter​, as she "gave" the daughter of the women who helped raise my mother to her sister. I remember being struck by that language. I began wondering what the real nature of the relationship between my grandmother and the woman I affectionately knew as "aunt erma." I wonder how common these kind of arrangements are around the world.
• treehau5 9y ago
  Beautiful story. That's all I can say.
• futun 9y ago
  I assume the writer of the article will be imprisoned... /s
• akalin 9y ago
  Here is a damning Twitter thread comparing the article to Lola's published obituary: https://twitter.com/caulkthewagon/status/864656017480708102 https://twitter.com/caulkthewagon/status/864656017480708102 It makes the author and his family a lot less sympathetic.
  • jordigh 9y ago
    I didn't find the author very sympathetic. He obviously knew something was wrong but never did enough to fix it. I think the article was more of a confession than anything. I get the feeling that the author was wracked with guilt.
    • poweribo 9y ago
      how would you fix it as a teenager? did you get to the part where he took Lola to live with his family and treated like a real family? she was already family. looks like you didnt read the whole story.
      • jordigh 9y ago
        I read the whole thing, and I still think he didn't feel like he did enough, because she couldn't stop acting like a slave, because he couldn't pay enough money to send her home once he was an adult, because he couldn't turn his back on his parents over what they did to her. I get the feeling he felt very guilty, even as an adult, and was trying to confess (shortly before dying, interesting).
        • titanomachy 9y ago
          He did send her home. Then he went to visit her a month later and she asked to come back to America with him. She intended to go live in the Philippines for her last years, but died unexpectedly before that could happen.
    • ralphie02 9y ago
      I'm sure he and his siblings were pretty sympathetic, which is why the tried to defend her from their parents and help her with her duties. This made their mother angry because they would take their Lola's side. This is actually quite typical of kids (especially in asian cultures?). Being timid and following your parents orders wholeheartedly are so ingrained it's criminal. The children could only do so much as young teenagers; I question the eldest more because he was 20 and has noticed the slavery for a while yet didn't do much to help their Lola (or maybe he did, the author just failed to mention it). Regardless, it seems like you're being unsympathetic to the author and his siblings. You don't know what they've been through: poverty, fear, abandonment, humiliation, anxiety, etc (speculations). It's a whole lot easier to judge someone's situation based on your current status and upbringing. Just because you think you would've been more resolute if you were in his place doesn't mean that you actually would have been. Remember, this is a family from Asia in the 60-70s. Not an attack. Just a reminder to put things in perspective.
• huxflux 9y ago
  I must say theatlantic.com's Adblock is reallly annoying...
• jploh 9y ago
  This is heartbreaking but it is well written. I'm born and raised in the Philippines and still here. There are still a lot of people here who hire maids or domestic helpers with very low pay and no benefits such as healthcare. My family used to have domestic helpers as well. Slave is not the term but the employer is usually referred to as the "master" ("amo" in Filipino). The practice is seeded deeply into the culture and society. It will probably need generations before this thinking is changed. Some see it is a way to "help" those from the countryside with little to no education to be employed. It's easy to spot - go to an upscale mall and spot a young couple with kids. There's a good chance they will have a young nanny that's underpaid, overworked and may be badly treated.
• throway555666 9y ago
  Lola was indeed a victim, but she was as much a victim of a culture and religion that raised her to be subservient and compliant and uncomplaining as she was one of human hand. http://www.esquiremag.ph/long-reads/notes-and-essays/lola-pulido-alex-tinzon-reaction-a1890-20170518-lfrm http://www.esquiremag.ph/long-reads/notes-and-essays/lola-pu...