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How China's one-child policy has backfired on men
- transfire 11y agoThey can look at as many corollary data plots as they like, but the simple explanation is that modern society has made men dispensable. A traditional "patriarchal" marriage is based on the woman's need of a man to provide for her and keep her safe, while the man's attachment to a woman is primarily one of desire. Now that modern society has made it possible for a woman to live well without a man, she is free to base her romantic relations on desire as well. Obviously these things take decades to play out, so we still see the primary desires of woman lean toward the financial capabilities of the male. But this will slowly change. For better or worse, family structures of the future will look nothing like those of the past. Single mothers will top 50% in China, just as it has in the USA, within two generations.
- jkyle 11y agoSingle mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. They are also most likely to be financially insecure. And that insecurity is due to the lack of participation in the rearing and responsibility for their child by the father. In short, the rising rate of single parenthood in the U.S. is not an outcome of empowering women and equal rights. It's a consequence of abject poverty and lack of accountability by fathers. [1] http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/23/discouraged-dads/ http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/23/discouraged-dad...
- protonfish 11y agoThe differences between "failed marriages" of yesterday and today is that before women had to stay in them. Many of these poor single mothers are better off than with an abusive or irresponsible husband.
- mafribe 11y agoAre you not displaying sexist thinking here, in that you privilege mothers over fathers? Why should the well-being of the mother be the only relevant criterion? What about the well-being of the father and the children?
- jkyle 11y agoThe OP said in the case of an abusive husband. Are you suggesting that marriages should be held together so as not to damage the well being of the abuser by losing his object of abuse?
- mafribe 11y agoAnd I questioned why the OP made such a one-sided example, one that falls squarely in line with those who -- empirically -- disproportionally benefit financially from a divorce. I'm suggesting that the main concern should be the well-being of the children. Most marriages fail, because the spouses get bored and tired of each other, and feel that the grass could be greener somewhere else. I don't think that's good enough a reason for divorce. At least wait until the children have left the home.
- bnolsen 11y agopile of crap. women in the US are incentivized to divorce. In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income. 80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman. This leaves men impoverished and unable to interract with their own children. The state treats them like money generators and that's it. http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces-are-filed-by.html http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces... i don't agree with the above article, just posted it as the very wide evidence of women throwing away the marriage contract.
- magic_beans 11y ago"In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income" Whoa. That is ABSOLUTELY not true. "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. Why should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Your comment is pretty out of line, man.
- alextgordon 11y ago> "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." > Why should a woman stay in an [unhappy] relationship? I don't think you can make that inference.
- mafribe 11y agoWhy should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Turn this question around: why should a man stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Answer: because given the current divorce law, and, more importantly, divorce practice, he will loose half his money, his house and his children, should there be any. 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. By what credible metric? Counting not buying red roses every day as abuse?
- hedgew 11y agoThe overall violent crime rate is 0.4%. It sounds unbelievable that wives are 50 times more likely to be victims of violence than the general population. Even in prisons, the violent crime rate is only 4%
- wtbob 11y ago> Single mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. Failed marriages may in many cases be the result of an independent attitude (such as the single mother in the article, who divorced her husband because he cheated on her). Is it good that she left a bad husband? Is it bad that her child is growing up in a broken home? Well, that's something folks can disagree on. As for long term relationships, I believe that phenomenon is a symptom of America's incarceration rates among the poor: free men are so outnumbered by women that they have no need to marry.
- Retric 11y agoSaying "broken home" is ridiculous. A home with a cheating husband is already broken, and nobody calls a widowed family "broken".
- jessaustin 11y agoYou don't like the phrase "broken home", but you're happy to talk about "cheating"? [EDIT: removed confrontational language] Both of those idioms attempt to universalize judgments that are necessarily personal and cultural. There are many happy productive intact families who have infidelity or [EDIT: in some cases perhaps] better said polyamory in their past or even present. Marriage is what married people choose to make it, every day. Is it telling that you particularly mention "a cheating husband"?
- philwelch 11y agoAs someone in a polyamorous marriage, polyamory and cheating are two entirely different things.
- Retric 11y agoI actually have no problem with non-traditional marriages. However, some form of "forsaking all others" is one of the most common vows. So, assuming it was part of the original covenant then it was clearly that convent was broken well before 'divorce.' Some groups go so far as to consider a couple divorced on the first infidelity. Also, generally it’s not the initial cheating party that instigates divorce proceedings as your better off divorcing before infidelity than after. So, if we are talking about female divorcers then the infidelity would generally be on the male side (excluding LGBT).
- jkot 11y agoI know mqny couples in Ireland who are not married, they would loose 30% of income after wedding.
- beachstartup 11y ago> The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. i'm going to posit that it wasn't a 'failure' of marriage or long-term relationship, it was the complete absence of one. in fact many times women get pregnant in order to attempt to enter one. that strategy, of course, could be described as .. misguided, but young women don't know that. they are just as stupid as young men in their attempts to secure relationships.
- j_m_b 11y agoA single-parent household is much more likely to be in poverty.
- jccalhoun 11y agoCall me crazy but I think the fact that in China so many female fetuses are literally dispensed with kind of shows that women are a little more dispensable than men.
- philwelch 11y agoMen have always been dispensable. Eggs are expensive and sperm are cheap. This is the basis of most gender roles.
- Retric 11y agoEggs are cheap; it's womb time that's in limited supply.
- j_m_b 11y agoAhh.. the unintended consequences of central planning.
- Blackthorn 11y agoYou can't really knock this one on central planning alone, more that central planning didn't really understand the context of the society around them when they made the policy. If China hadn't been so insanely patriarchal, a one-child policy wouldn't have given parents there an incentive to abort their baby girls.
- 300bps 11y agoYou can't really knock this one on central planning alone, more that central planning didn't really understand That sums up the problem with central planning. There are too many variables for any individual or organization to track let alone make decisions on.
- vezzy-fnord 11y agoIt's more accurate to say this is the problem with central planning in the large ("command economies" in the context of a nation state) where issues with calculation and signal distortion start to set in. Otherwise central planning in the small with the likes of cooperatives or business plans is pretty uncontroversial, as they harbor less externalities.
- hydrogen18 11y agoYou say this is a problem with "central planning in the large". That is just a problem with central planning. Otherwise the opposite would be "central planning in the small". One person selecting the dinner location for four friends doesn't constitute central planning.
- LiweiZ 11y agoThe planners don't care about the consequences. They have their fortune overseas. It's rather a failure of decoupled interests between them and the the rest of people. [edit]: typo
- lectrick 11y agoFor anyone who made a lot of money on Bitcoin during the runup (which was largely powered by Chinese buying and the Chinese "saving" mentality mentioned in this article)... you have the Chinese one-child policy to thank for your Teslas
- jkyle 11y agoOverall, this would appear to be a good thing.
- jmnicolas 11y agoLet me see : baby girls are being killed, lots of men will never marry and women become spoiled brats that choose their husbands only for their riches ... we must have a really different notion of "a good thing".
- jkyle 11y agoAbortion isn't murder. Women empowered to leave abusive, philandering husbands. Women no longer pressured to marry young in order to survive, can focus on careers. As far as whether women choose husbands only for their riches, I tend not to draw too many generalizations based on a sample of 2 in 750 million. However, men and women in an egalitarian society tend to choose partners they view as having achieved comparable success socially, economically, and academically.
- 3princip 11y ago>Abortion isn't murder Always struck me as a very Orwellian slogan.
- jkyle 11y agoNo more Orweillian than "Carrots are not fish."
- juliangregorian 11y agoIt's not though. A fetus is not a person, and the act is not unlawful. So abortion is logically not murder, and therefore no doublethink is involved.
- pjkundert 11y agoThere was a time the same reasoning worked for slaves. edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slave_codes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slave_codes "If any slave resists his master...correcting such a slave, and shall happen to be killed in such correction...the master shall be free of all punishment...as if such accident never happened." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_United_States http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_United_States ... a master could be held criminally liable for killing a slave only if the slave he killed was "completely submissive and under the master's absolute control." So, effectively, slaves were considered chattel, and legally dispatched if not submissive to the will of the owner. Much like a cow, not like a person. This historical fact is not really at question.
- meesterdude 11y agoReally great read; sheds light on some things I never understood about china, but now it makes sense. Goverment: "Stop making so many babies! that's it, just one per couple." Citizens: "well, if we can only have one, we better make sure it's a boy!" What could go wrong? Yes, woman are gaining some upper hand here; and thats good. But it's not because of a change of outlooks or perspectives of the people, it's simply out of scarcity of the gender. And what happens when there aren't enough women to go around? why, they import them of course! And by import I mean sex slavery and arranged marriages. "life...finds a way..." to keep on fuckin'
- meric 11y agoYour comment reminds me of this story: https://sivers.org/horses https://sivers.org/horses "One-child policy" Bad policy. "Woman gaining upper hand" Yay. <Insert unintended consequence> Yeah, China's screwed. I'll wait and see.
- mrweasel 11y ago>Citizens: "well, if we can only have one, we better make sure it's a boy!" I get the feeling that the people who invented the "One child policy" where at a different stage in civilization/education/whatever you call, than the people for whom they made the rule. So they didn't even consider that the public might choose to get rid of their girls. China has been extremely focus on reaching the western standards of living, but their culture haven't been able to keep up. I think it's great that they addressed the issue of over-population, something that a country like India has failed to do. Their error was that they didn't try to bring about lower birth rates though education and welfare programs and instead opted for punishment. The Chinese where given an incentive to abort girls, so in hindsight it's not a surprise that things have worked out the way they have.
- rm_-rf_slash 11y agoI wonder if the irony has been lost on the young men in Silicon Valley reading this article and teasing central planning before they go back to the grind so that someday they too can impress the Bay Area's few women who still don't resent tech wealth from the view of their Lamborghini.
- j_m_b 11y agoWhere are these mythical women who resent wealth you speak of?
- kevingadd 11y agoI think they were referring specifically to 'tech wealth', which often comes with the baggage of all Silicon Valley's excess and personality defects and abusive/sociopathic behavior.
- tormeh 11y agoI don't think that exists (except communists), but they may well not like the personality that helped the rich guy earn that money. That's not hard to do when we're talking about, for example, bankers or brogrammers.
- rm_-rf_slash 11y agoA while back I could talk about working in tech with locals and it would drive good conversation. Recently when I brought up my work I was met with reactions of annoyance for being one of many newcomers pricing locals' favorite kindergarten teachers out of their homes of decades. I just don't get good vibes from locals in the Valley anymore, so I went back home to a college town with a far lower cost of living and plenty of new students coming in every year. Haven't looked back.
- tomjen3 11y agoBelieve me if I wanted to get rich I wouldn't have gone into technology, I would have chosen a bullshit career in scamming (finance) and easily made my entire yearly salary in bonuses.
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- seanmcdirmid 11y agoSome officials are already acknowledging that one child has gone on too long, and most couples are allowed to have two now (most minorities have always been allowed more, most country-side dwellers are allowed two if the first is a boy). But many couples aren't taking advantage of the new two child policy, since raising a kid in a Chinese city is expensive (especially schooling, which isn't really free). Korea went through the same cycle: too many kids in the 70s, got everyone cut back, and then they went over a demographic cliff and now have to beg couples to have more kids today.
- baldfat 11y agoRussia has Day of Conception Sept 12 for married couples. If you have a child 9 months later you get money form the governemnt. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Conception http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Conception
- MrZongle2 11y agoOh, that's not creepy at all. Could you imagine such a thing in the United States? I envision big posters in medical buildings saying "Uncle Sam Wants YOU (to get knocked up)!" The target birth month would be hell for parents, as well: nonstop shuttling of your kids to birthday party after birthday party.
- Lockyy 11y agoOr you could all chip in together and have one big party for all the kids where everyone gets a present? It'd probably end up being cheaper for each parent but overall be a better party.
- kchoudhu 11y agoWife is having a baby on June 12th! Where do I sign up?
- baldfat 11y agoMother Russia
- wahsd 11y agoMan, this is really going to cause some serious issues in Chinese society. Just think of how rather psychopathic women are in our, American, society about material things, being wined and dined, having all kinds of benefits and advantages heaped upon them. Now multiply that by the power of a wild imbalance of men to women. There are several generations of women growing up who have the narcissistic, selfish psychopathies embedded in their identity and one set of throngs of men are going to play into it and feed that beast, and another throng of men are going to reject that notion and build up some serious resentments, anger, and volatile personality traits. It just doesn't seem good at all. This is the kind of shit that ends up leading to war. It's precisely the reason why things like the Crusades were started.
- nodata 11y agoErm. What?
- jstalin 11y agoOne logical conclusion is that policy makers may decide that in order to cull the male population, war is needed.
- tomjen3 11y agoThis probably means there is a market for pickup artists who speak Chinese.
- gadders 11y agoOr dating agencies for Chinese Men and overseas women, like the "Marry Russian Brides" ones you see on the web.
- erikb 11y agoWhy do people believe that women have the upper hand now? They might have in the slight time frame between high school graduation and marriage (~25 years for Chinese women). Before they have not much say because their fathers are the boss. Afterwards they have husbands who don't do anything but work and sleep (and maybe care for their mistresses). It's true that in that short slice of time their power over each single men who wants them is nearly unlimited. But would you trade your whole life for 5 years of power over guys you don't care about? And it's not really true that they have power in a global sense, it's only in each of these 1-on-1 encounters with potential marriage partners. On the global scale requirements like beauty and social standards are higher and the push to marriage is also stronger than for men. So this "has backfired on men" should be read as "has decreased the huge advantage of men to become only a big advantage for men".
- mreiland 11y agoThat is clearly not what the article was claiming, either you have information the author does not or you have an agenda you're not being truthful about. Which is it?
- beachstartup 11y agoit's clearly the latter, he just wrapped 3 or 4 feminist talking points into a comment and posted it out of context in response to an article about something else entirely.
- erikb 11y agoWhat is "that"? The article claims women have the upper hand when it comes to dating in China. I argue that a) it's not as much the case as it looks like on and b) to evaluate one has to look at many different aspects and women in China having the disadvantage in so many aspects that one would rather be a Chinese man than Chinese woman.
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]
- stephengillie 11y ago
- dctoedt 11y agoThe article's description of women's power over men is reminiscent of Robert A. Heinlein's sci-fi novel The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, in which Luna had many more single men than single women, with similar results.
- caskance 11y agoAh, another anti-China propaganda piece based on American misconceptions about Chinese policy.
- Someone1234 11y agoWhile there are absolutely tons of anti-Chinese US pieces written, I'd be interested to hear what misconceptions the US has about China's policy (I'm guessing the one child policy)? From the raw data I've seen in recent years there is just under a 4% "shortfall" in girls Vs. boys within China.
- caskance 11y agoMost Americans believe the "one child policy" limits families to one child. Then they extrapolate conclusions based on how they imagine that might be enforced. It's like someone thinking the American "Affordable Healthcare act" made healthcare in America affordable. And then they guess "oh, that law probably limited how much hospitals and doctors could charge or something". "So that probably made it harder for hospitals to make money, right? I don't care enough to find out whether that's true, but it makes sense." "Hey, an article about a healthcare merger in the US. I'll comment on it since I know all about why this is happening."
- virmundi 11y agoI'm curious how this seeming gender war will resolve. One way is that homosexual and asexual behavior will be accepted. Another is that men will decide to not prioritize marital relations. Finally, both genders could accept each other as equals and partners. For the first, the supply of men will decrease. It might decrease enough to cause a more traditional relationship between the genders. The surviving heterosexual group will have more power since the demand is probably constant. The second, is probably more how many picture the 1960s and 1970s in the US. Men getting the milk for free. In many ways if all you want is milk, so to speak, you get off quite well in the process. It is a selfish take on life, but oh well we'll all just matter anyway. Third, this is the sanest approach. It allows the species to succeed. It also seems to make the major genetic predisposition of the species. Only time will tell.
- peter303 11y agoIndia has a similar gender imbalance for the same reasons- sons favored and selection technology. India seems to have a horrifying rape culture in some places. I dont know if its always been there or worsened by the gender imbalance.
- virmundi 11y agoThat is a valid option that I didn't mention: actual gender war. A rape culture, to me, would fit that description.
- peter303 11y agoSounds like Silicon Valley' similar gender imbalance.
- cletus 11y ago1.16 boys per girl? Down from 1.22? Wow. I knew there was an imbalance. I didn't realize it was quite so large. It's really depressing that such an anachronistic notion (of carrying on your family's "name") is still so prevalent that it results in tens of millions of abortions of unwanted girls. My only hope is that 20 or 30 years from now when the children of this generation of Chinese are themselves looking to marry and have families that such misogyny has fallen by the wayside.
- crimsonalucard 11y agoIs there any land in this world where the situation is reversed?
- frankosaurus 11y agoNYT had an interesting recent article "1.5 Million Missing Black Men", which discusses the socio-economic consequences in communities with a scarcity of men.
- ausjke 11y agothe real issues: 1. more man than woman, about 50Million man will probably never have a wife. Really, either legalize prostitution, or somehow have a war, otherwise you will read more news about rape. 2. the world is flat, woman are better educated and they do not want to marry a man that is inferior, they would rather stay unmarried if no good fit can be found, that further worsen the situation. low-class men are the real losers, in a large amount. 3. people do get married do not want to have more than one baby due to various reasons listed by others here.
- cyorir 11y ago1) That is a pretty dim and sexist view of men. You are implying that men who do not get married will be likely to resort to committing rape. I think a broad generalization like this should be backed up with statistics. It also distracts from marital rape, which is a frequent and often unreported form of rape.[0][1] 2) In China, sadly, there is still a gender imbalance in education. For example, the literacy rate is lower, on the whole, for women.[2] While a lot of attention is given to the demographic challenges facing men in China as a result of the one child policy, it is important to also recognize the challenges faced by women in China as well. [0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marital_rape#Prevalence http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marital_rape#Prevalence [1] http://www.ncdsv.org/images/nnfr_partnerviolence_a20-yearliteraturereviewandsynthesis.pdf http://www.ncdsv.org/images/nnfr_partnerviolence_a20-yearlit... [2] https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ch.html https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/...
- baldfat 11y agoWhere USA stacks up to Materinity Leave compared to other countries. 1. Sweden offers the most generous maternity leave policy, with 56 weeks paid at 80 percent of citizens' salary, and 13 additional weeks paid at a fixed rate thereafter. 2. In some central European countries, the standard maternity leave is three years. 3. Adoptive parents and same-sex parents get parental leave in the U.K., Canada, France, and yes, Sweden. 4. There is still zero mandated maternity leave benefits in the U.S., although companies with over 50 employees are obligated to offer three months of unpaid time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act. 5. This makes the U.S. one of only four countries in the world with no required paid maternity leave. The others are Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea. http://www.payscale.com/career-news/2013/05/these-9-countries-have-the-worlds-best-maternity-leave-policies-infographic- http://www.payscale.com/career-news/2013/05/these-9-countrie...
- baldfat 11y agoJapan is so screwed! By 2060 there population will be 50% of what it was and only 32 million people will be under 65 years old! After peaking seven years ago, at 128 million, Japan's population has been falling — and is on a path to decline by about a million people a year. By 2060, the government estimates, there will be just 87 million people in Japan; nearly half of them will be over 65. Without a dramatic change in either the birthrate or its restrictive immigration policies, Japan simply won't have enough workers to support its retirees, and will enter a demographic death spiral. Yet the babies aren't coming. http://theweek.com/articles/453219/everything-need-know-about-japans-population-crisis http://theweek.com/articles/453219/everything-need-know-abou...
- newuser88273 11y agoJapan is betting that automation means they don't need gazillions of workers to feed their old. If they're right, they'd win so big compared to "us" that in fact the biggest obstacle they're facing might be that "we" won't allow them to win the bet.
- cyorir 11y agoHowever, if their bet fails and automation alone can't make up for the shortfall in the labor force, they stand to lose more compared to other countries like the US and those in Europe that do a better job of integrating immigrants into society and the workforce.
- baldfat 11y agoIt explains their obsession with Robots.
- vadman 11y agoResearch/creative work is difficult to automate, and it seems that only a smallish percentage of population excels at it. Small population -> falling behind in those areas, unless the Japanese somehow revolutionize their education system.
- justabystander 11y agoA lot of this is the result of historical policies and culture. It doesn't necessarily excuse poor behavior, but there's enough of that to go around on all sides that we eventually learn not to point fingers. It is culturally expected of the man to take care of his parents and grandparents. It's a very gendered role, so a daughter might not accept that responsibility. Typically the son's loyalty is expected to go to his own parents, while the daughters loyalty would transfer to her husband's family. But sometimes when she got married her husband would accept responsibility for her parents as well. But that places a significant burden on the man. It wasn't that big of a deal with multiple children - you could split up the parents and grandparents. But with one child, you now have to hope that one can take care of six adults and a spouse. It's described as the 4-2-1 problem (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy#.22Four-two-one.22_problem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy#.22Four-two-o...). There was an article on modern Chinese women not wanting to support their parents that I encountered a while back (though I think it was older), but I'm having problems finding it. This might change, though, as new legislation surfaced recently making it a legal burden for all children (http://learningenglish.voanews.com/content/chinese-laws-requires-adults-to-care-for-aging-parents-china-economy/1708639.html http://learningenglish.voanews.com/content/chinese-laws-requ...). This should help alleviate a lot of retirement care concerns. Some rural areas have policies where new children are greeted with extra land. This was returned to the government upon marriage for girls, while it stayed with the family for boys. Ostensibly this was to prevent the land from going to some city dweller. It's a policy littered with faulty assumptions, but that extra acre of land could be pretty tempting to a rural villager. (http://research-china.blogspot.com/2005/10/why-girls-are-abandoned-in-china.html http://research-china.blogspot.com/2005/10/why-girls-are-aba...). Outdated ownership and inheritance policies are another cause for concern. With the relaxing of the one-child policy, things got a lot better. (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/07/as-china-s-one-child-policy-relaxes-girl-children-no-longer-stigmatized.html http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/07/as-china-s-...) Note that some parents are aborting boys for girls, now. But we can see that a lot (but not all) of the parents concern over the gender of their child can come from government policies and wanting a place to live in their declining years. Let's not try to force our own paradigms and logic on other cultures just because it's convenient. I'm not Chinese, but I still get frustrated when people judge their worth without considering Chinese values and cultural expectations. It's a lot more complex than an entire country hating women. Selfishness is a much more reasonable assumption. Assuming it's selfish to want your kids to take care of you when you took care of your parents and grandparents. I'd say it's more like perpetuating the cultural machine. We've also completely ignored the historical relevance of China's bride price (http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/ http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-p... and http://www.npr.org/2013/04/23/176326713/for-chinese-women-marriage-depends-on-right-bride-price http://www.npr.org/2013/04/23/176326713/for-chinese-women-ma...). Surely the fact that it's been culturally expected to pay your wife's parents to be eligible for marriage has influence somewhere. Notably, a son (and thus continuing financial support) was still considered more desirable than a one-time payment. A daughter might make you rich, but a son would make sure you always had a place to live. Because if he didn't, society would make life very difficult for him. Perhaps this would all be a bit better if parents weren't planning their children's lives (from their careers and educations down to their sex) based on their own wants and needs. But being old doesn't really make you wise.