40 ms·

The days are long but the decades are short

• Bouncingsoul1 11y ago
  I am 31, I just have 1 advice to share. Be patient, your time will come and you've got more time than you think you have.
  • asadotzler 11y ago
    You have less time than you think. It goes by faster every year. Life is the brief so cram it full :D
  • andrey-g 11y ago
    Are you sure this advice is not a result of confirmation and survivorship biases?
• kenjackson 11y ago
  I hate these types of lists. But this one in particular seemed quite good.
• samsolomon 11y ago
  Those of you on HN that are past the 30+ mark. What would you add to this list?
  • sz4kerto 11y ago
    Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.
    • mikeg8 11y ago
      I have an amazing father and grandfathers, all of whom I am close with. I've dreamed of being a father for many years (26M) and think I'll make a great one someday based on the examples I was fortunate enough to have. But I don't like the thought that as soon as you have a child, you instantly have to be defined by that. Is reproduction really the meaning to life? (Biologists say absolutely). And saying you don't have to be successful anymore is very strange to me. Why wound't you need to be successful professionally to provide or personally to be happy? Don't you want your child to be successful, not rich but personally successful however they grow to define it? and shouldn't you show that to them by example?
      • JoeAltmaier 11y ago
        Not reproduction: parenthood. Never mind how the kid got there; they are soon more important than everything you naïvely thought mattered. Not so much defined by that. Instead, motivated by entirely new impulses. Its not that you change your mind about success. Your mind changes, and that isn't a bad thing.
        • jacquesm 11y ago
          If there is one thing that rammed that home it was sitting next to an incubator watching O2 levels and heartbeat of an early born infant. Re-alignment of priorities would be a very mild way to describe the feeling.
          • gregpilling 11y ago
            I agree. My son spent his first week in NICU, and 6 years later had a brain aneurism, and another brain surgery at 11 years. He is fine now. Work problems are pretty insignificant in comparison.
        • peteretep 11y ago
          > Your mind changes Definitely! > and that isn't a bad thing Not yet entirely convinced on that front.
  • trequartista 11y ago
    Learn when to back out - could be from an argument, job, partnership (personal or professional). This is very important for your sanity
    • toomuchtodo 11y ago
      As someone close to me once said, "Choose the hill you want to die on carefully"
  • nine_k 11y ago
    As a friend of mine formulated, 'be friendly, calm, confident, and firm'.
  • venomsnake 11y ago
    Ask her out ...
  • mtbcoder 11y ago
    1) Spend more time with your family before it's too late. Call your mother, father and siblings more often. 2) Save, save and save more. Spend your money on things that matter (such as visiting your family more). I worry about the future of labor in the US.
    • Rapzid 11y ago
      I can't emphasize number 2 enough. But I'll try: SAVE, SAVE, SAVE, SAVE, SAVE. Seriously, if you don't want to have to be working for the rest of your life it's time to start saving now. Maximize earnings. Maximize savings. I just realized at 31 how much savings opportunity I wasted over the past 7 years... Actually, I don't even want to calculate it up. I'm focused on the future. Save! And sleep more.
  • 23david 11y ago
    On health: Even though you're young, try and still go to the doctor every once in a while for checkups. But even if you don't like going to doctors, don't just ignore pain in your body. For example, ignoring a sore wrist or back, or ignoring digestive and sleep issues can easily lead to life-long disabilities. It's also common for people to experience mental health issues (in a way that starts to impact relationships and work performance) for the first time in their early 30s... It's a fairly common event, but it's generally really scary for everyone involved. Getting stable with medication and then also working with a trained therapist can help you pull through this.
  • putzdown 11y ago
    Your twenties are the age of proving yourself. But this is a self-defeating goal: a person worthy of the respect and success you yearn for doesn't need them as badly as you do. Your thirties expand and narrow your world: expansion into parenting (for many) and to richer relationships, if you can survive them, with spouses. But now you know your limits, and the sky is no longer it. There's a contraction of options, but the few options you have grow deeper. By forty you know you have nothing to prove or, contrariwise, you've proven just how limited you are. You've made your bed and you're lying in it. For many this is a crisis and they struggle to break free, but there's no escaping it: you're older. You feel your own age in your mind and body (knees? back? eyes?) truly for the first time. But once you get over the shock, you realize that you're still young enough. You also realize, if you've stayed at the hard work of marriage and parenting and building skills and opportunities for a career, that you've got a lot to be confident about. You're humbler, but more powerful and capable, than ever. I haven't reached 50 yet so I have to stop there.
    • rimantas 11y ago
      You should replace "Your" by "My".
      • kpennell 11y ago
        The original article doesn't. Neither do most of the comments.
      • deleted 11y ago
        [deleted]
  • japhyr 11y ago
    Work towards being satisfied, rather than being happy. Happiness is fleeting; satisfaction is lasting. We all need to play and just be happy - I'm not arguing against that. But longer term, I've often felt we're better off figuring out what makes us satisfied at the end of each day. When I'm on my deathbed, I want to be satisfied with the way I spent my life. I know that my "deathbed" could come today, or it could come 50+ years from now. That's a wild range.
  • adam12 11y ago
    Straining on the toilet too hard can be bad for your heart. Seriously.
  • Torgo 11y ago
    If you are depressed, do everything in your power to find the reason and address it, or you will have wasted your entire youth.
  • mortality 11y ago
    34yo here. Experience something horrible. I grew up in a ridiculously perfect fantasyland. My parents, who have an ideal marriage, told me I was the best at everything, encouraged every dream I had, paid for college and insulated me from all of life's difficulties re: money, stress, etc. To make matters worse, I excelled right along with the praise -- made good grades, got into a top-10 college, started a company after college which was lifestyle-profitable for 7 years. (It could have been a major score if I'd executed better, but that's beside the point.) When my company started to decline post-2008, I had to go get a job. I excelled at it, but got crossways with my boss for entirely personal reasons and was fired. This back-to-back double-whammy was by far the worst experience of my life. I'd never experienced failure or rejection and my psyche/ego simply didn't know how to handle it. I sunk into a depression for 3 years. It's not hyperbole to say I almost didn't survive it. But I'm on the other side of it now. The darkness is receding. I know this because I know the double-whammy was entirely necessary for me. The spoiled brat is gone. I empathize with others. I care about the journey people have taken to the point where I meet them. None of that mattered before. It was all me, me, me, the worldbeater. Yeah I'm in my mid 30s now and the past 5 years were tough. But I'm glad I've already spanned the chasm now than in my mid-50s. Now I'm better prepared for things to come. One slightly separate piece: I used to have massive entrepreneurial angst. I was a person who looked at those who have "made" it and got angry. Angry at lack of co-founders. Angry that my school's alumni network doesn't have the best SV connections. Angry at perceived ageism in tech circles... But now I know that all advantages others might have on you -- better schooling, younger, lucky career breaks, etc -- can be trumped by one thing: traction. It doesn't matter if you're white, black, purple, one-armed, blind, gay or republican -- If you have something worth investing in, you can find investors. Period.
    • JoshTriplett 11y ago
      > My parents, who have an ideal marriage, told me I was the best at everything, encouraged every dream I had, paid for college and insulated me from all of life's difficulties re: money, stress, etc. Related to this: if you have kids yourself, or you're in a position of providing guidance for kids, keep providing a safe and consistent environment for them yourself, but teach them that the world is not fair, that adults are not always right and not always consistent, that they themselves are not always the smartest person in the room (nor should they always want to be), and that other people care about themselves much more than them. Or, in short, don't just teach them that the world is awesome (though it can be); teach them how to get what they want out of a world that's not out to hand it to them.
  • JoshTriplett 11y ago
    Related to #2 and #3: don't fall into the trap of believing that it's supposed to take a long time to do something important. Work expands to fill the time alotted. If you get it in your head that the Great Work you're trying to do will take you some number of years, it will, or it will take even longer, if you finish at all. Commit to yourself now that you won't let work expand to fill the time alotted. Don't accept that from yourself, and don't accept that from others. (Within reason; everything can't get done overnight, but a "multi-year research project" often doesn't really need many person-years worth of effort, it just turns out that way because people let it.)
  • KineticLensman 11y ago
    53 year old here. When you are making really long term plans, bear in mind that your fitness will decline. Optimise out things that will make your back ache.
  • stevenmays 11y ago
    I wrote a blog post about this very recently: http://stevenmays.org/turning-30/ http://stevenmays.org/turning-30/
  • marincounty 11y ago
    This will sound narcisstic, and calculating, but here goes; Make friends with people younger than you. I never felt comfortable with people from my generation. I seemed to become friends with people older than myself. I didn't do it on a conscious level, but it happened. I would buy things like 8 person rafts, double kayaks, huge tents. Everything I planned for had another close person/girlfriend in mind. They all passed away. As to money, save that money you made in your 20-30's. For some reason(I think testosterone) most of the people I knew in life made the big money in their 20-30's. These were people without fancy degrees--four year degree at best. Oh yea, you can be the best at a lot of things, and feel like you are on top of the world. You can feel like you can accomplish anything. All that can change overnight with mental illness. I had a slight nervous breakdown(not psychotic), and I went from being one of the better students in graduate school--to someone who couldn't drive to the school a week later. Life has been a struggle since. I tried therapy and it just didn't help. Prescription drugs did alleviate some of the missery, but I am now addicted to two drugs going on twenty years. There was no history of mental illness in my family. I didn't even feel stressed when I brokedown. (I did have a fear of death. I had typical worries of a twenty something year old.) I just blew a gasket. Yes, after dealing with psychiatrists who really didn't have any answers--that's what I feel what happened. I know it's rare. None of my classmates from high school/college experienced anything close to my symptomology. It did get better with time though. I usually don't tell anyone because I know it's rare. I do have a innate understanding of homelessness because of my condition though, and cringe when I hear, "You can do anything! It just takes proper planning!". Sometimes your brain just goes haywire.
    • ddingus 11y ago
      And older. I have a wide array of friends, and what I've found is some of them become mentors, and we become mentors and it can all add up to this nice resonance where we give and receive energy, perspective, help, opportunity.
  • jacquesm 11y ago
    - being smart and being wise aren't the same thing - not everything in the world can be expressed as an equation - conserve your body as if your life depends on it, it does - there is a story behind everybody
  • kamaal 11y ago
    Start saving and investing as early as you can. If you haven't, do it on a war footing. Get rid of debt. The more you invest, the more you are likely to benefit over time. In fact you may be surprised more than anything else out there. In many cases, even more than careers, job, raises and promotions- investments play a very critical role in how well you are going to do financially.
    • peteretep 11y ago
      > Start saving and investing as early as you can. If you > haven't, do it on a war footing. Get rid of debt. Yeah, maybe. My net positive worth went red about age 18, and stayed that way (sometimes drastically) until I was about 30, when I finally clawed my way back out of the debt hole. The decisions I made, the things I learned, the rash choices I made, decisions to quit jobs and do something exciting when I couldn't afford it, randomly moving to another country without any kind of security net, dumb startups that I didn't have the savings to bootstrap properly, holidays I took that I couldn't afford, needing to execute on things because without it I wouldn't eat, starting (and then finishing) an expensive degree I couldn't afford, the partying I did... I wouldn't change it for a thing. If I die tomorrow, I will have lived. Those experiences are what have put me in the very solid earning position I'm in now. I save nearly 70% of what I earn, I've been out of debt and had solid savings for a while, and I have a great standard of living. Leaving it all to Lady Luck and hoping that it works out OK in the end is obviously a risky strategy, but the idea that your 20s should be about scrimping and saving rather than getting out there and screwing stuff up is equally risky.
      • tonyedgecombe 11y ago
        Think how much more you could have done if you didn't have to pay all that debt interest.
        • peteretep 11y ago
          The only way I could have done more would have been a second body and a time machine.
  • trustfundbaby 11y ago
    your 20's are when you discover your strengths ... your 30's are when you come to terms with your weaknesses ...
  • soidjmwiebsfew 11y ago
    This advice is clearly not for everyone but it has been working for me for many years: Do your best not to off yourself until your parents are dead. Avoid romantic relationships and avoid inflicting your accursed genes on another generation. Do not make promises that you cannot keep. Seek out and savor close friends. Know yourself and treat yourself with kindness. Reflect on your astonishing fortune to have been born in a time and place where someone like you has a shot at enjoying life. Some people will attempt to persuade you that living in agony is virtuous. It is not. Tell them white lies.
  • randomsearch 11y ago
    Meta-lesson: if you want to learn more wisdom, experiences are key. Get a diversity of experiences, do things that are outside your comfort zone and you will collect wisdom. Don't be scared to take detours in life. Travel, socialise with unusual people, try your hand at everything. Never stop learning. 1. Good friends are more valuable than cool friends. Learn who to trust and who's a flake. Remain friends with the flakes, but don't rely on them. 2. Don't stay where you're unhappy. Give it some time, then move on. Try something else. 3. Focus, focus, focus when you're doing one thing. Other times, branch out. 4. When you're young you are time rich and cash poor; when you're old you are cash rich and time poor. Don't put things off until you're older - travelling when retired will not inform your life. 5. The happiest people have good work-life balance. This may not go down well on HN, but having seen people around the world living different lives, this is a general observation. A relative was a counsellor, and he told me "No-one [at the end of their life] ever wishes they'd spent more time at the office." Perhaps working long hours for a while with a view to achieving this balance later is OK. 6. Forget the money. https://vimeo.com/63961985 https://vimeo.com/63961985 7. Take holidays. Regularly. Force yourself to. 8. The secret to stamina is sleep. 9. Mix with people of all demographics, or you will end up with a narrow view of life. 10. If you've thought about doing something for a long time, you should probably do it. 11. If you're having a conversation with someone about breaking up with your partner, then it is time to break up, or at least, take a break and see how it feels - don't waste your time and your partner's time procrastinating. 12. In relationships, you should always make extra effort, even when you've already made extra effort. Relationships take a lot of work, long-term. Surprise your partner. 13. Really listen to people. It's such a hard skill to develop. Start today. 14. Realise how lucky you are to wake up with hot water, heating, and nice food. Many people in the world don't have these luxuries. Living on no money when travelling is a good way to learn this. 15. Travel. But don't party the whole time. Often travelling is best done mid-late 20s when you've done the partying thing. Stay with local people. Don't plan too much. Get into the countryside. 16. If you're writing an email and it feels uncomfortable, you should probably not send it. Or at least wait for the morning :-). 17. Sometimes, deciding to do nothing is a decision in itself. Solutions can present themselves. 18. Have a huge party every birthday. Don't fight ageing, embrace it and celebrate being alive :-). 19. Don't criticise things without providing an alternative. If you feel angry in an argument, you're probably wrong. 20. Don't do a PhD straight after you graduate. 21. When in love in a relationship, throw yourself into it. Don't have regrets. Always tell people how you feel. It may be a car-crash at the time, but you'll learn from it and feel better about it your whole life. 22. At the end of your life, they're going to put you in a box in a hole in the ground, and that's it. Every moment of life is precious. When you're on your deathbed, even the idea of one more normal day at work will look unimaginably brilliant. Develop that feeling now. 23. Meditate. Unlearn what you have learned. 24. Whenever you think something nice about a person, say it. There's enough negativity in the world. Love your friends and tell them you love them. 25. Read books. Lots and lots of books. Read "East of Eden" by Steinbeck. You'll see why. 26. In love, in work, in life, never ever settle. It is better to be alone than to marry a person you don't truly love. 27. When giving people advice, they usually only want you to confirm their decision. Listen and talk things over. And even if you do give them advice, they'll just ignore and do what they want in the long-term. 28. Old(er) people are a great source of wisdom, but you won't take their advice seriously until you've experienced it yourself.
  • mesozoic 11y ago
    Don't try to get all of your fulfillment from work. You will have a bad time.
• amackera 11y ago
  Sam seems so wise, even for somebody so young! Everything he writes is a pleasure to read. Calm, considered, sometimes controversial, but always worth digesting.
  • sz4kerto 11y ago
    Many 20 yo liberal arts students (sorry, exaggerating here) could come up with a list like that but nobody would care because they're not the head of YCombinator. With Status comes authority, with authority comes self confidence and with that comes the feeling of wisdom. This is a good list, worth reading and talking about it; but for me wisdom means non-trivial, sometimes contraintuitive deep insight. Wisdom needs intelligence, experience and perspective (that mostly equals age). If you take any of these three out then it's usually not wisdom. Or maybe I'm totally wrong because I definitely lack the age :)
    • outericky 11y ago
      Seems like Sam has all 3 of your points "intelligence, experience and perspective" - or does experience only get quantified in years?
    • deleted 11y ago
      [deleted]
    • perdunov 11y ago
      You're exactly right. I'd go even further and say that the piece is quite superficial and the tone of it reminds of some holy book filled with commonplace morals.
• MrZongle2 11y ago
  37) Don't assume that those older than you are any less intelligent or capable of understanding a problem; they were, after all, your age once and possibly even smarter than you at this point.
  • bsimpson 11y ago
    37) Don't assume that age correlates to intelligence or expertise. It goes in both directions. When I took my first full-time job, I was 24. I had no academic background in computer science. Because of those two facts, I held my tongue when managers and executives made decisions I didn't understand. Turns out just because they are in their 40s and have senior titles doesn't mean they make sound decisions.
• kungfooey 11y ago
  Are we really at the point where a 30 year old can offer sage advice on living life? Wow. As a counterpoint to "be the best you can be in your profession": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIJdFxYlEKE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIJdFxYlEKE [PyCon keynote by Jacob Kaplan-Moss on 'mediocre developers'].
  • tfigueroa 11y ago
    It's not that deep. As a father, most of these points are obvious.
  • vinceguidry 11y ago
    There's advice smart 30 year olds give, advice smart 40 year olds give, advice smart 50 year olds give, and so on. Each decade tends to revolve around the same themes. All of it is worthwhile stuff to pay attention to, particularly from someone whose accomplished the sorts of things people aspire to in that decade. Even the people who haven't accomplished much can still have worthwhile things to say about life. My father's had a hard, hard life. His advice isn't really good in terms of success, but rather as a "don't do the kinds of crap I did" sort of thing. Our lives are different enough that little of it is actionable, but I still listen to it, even if he thinks I don't.
    • ProAm 11y ago
      > There's advice smart 30 year olds give, advice smart 40 year olds give, advice smart 50 year olds give, and so on This is not that kind of advice though, this rings a bit youthful and wet behind the ears. I sort of feel like its a regurgitated take on "Advice, like youth, is wasted on the young"[1] Sam's obviously a smart guy since he's been put in charge of yCombinator but his blog posts often feel hollow to me. [1] http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column-column.html http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-su...
      • vinceguidry 11y ago
        Maybe try to think of it as "talking about what's important in life" as opposed to advice. I think it would be silly to think one has all the answers in this direction, that's effectively what you're telling them when you apply value judgments to what they have to say.
• bahmboo 11y ago
  Make shorter lists?
• rkroondotnet 11y ago
  One of the things I always feel when I read something like this is that I am running out of time. I'm 29, so this is a comparison that's easy to make. And because I feel like maybe you guys will have the same reaction I wanted to show you this: http://www.businessinsider.com/people-who-became-successful-after-age-40-2014-9 http://www.businessinsider.com/people-who-became-successful-... There may be a better version of this article out there, but the essence is that it's not too late to start to be great at something. So don't let the stress of a successful 30 year old get you wound up.
  • ddingus 11y ago
    Heck, I've changed careers, and been great at each of them, three times. I'm looking to do it again too, but not for a while. I've got some unfinished business with this one. A mentor of mine is late in life now. We've had a 20 year dialog on this. Never, ever too late.
• epberry 11y ago
  "Summers are the best." Agreed! Although I think fall in the midwest is my favorite combination of season and location. Too bad it always goes by so quickly.
  • nlh 11y ago
    It's funny coming from someone who lives in SV. I just moved here and have a hard time differentiating Summer from the rest of the SF seasons. It's all the best!
  • peteretep 11y ago
    I would extend that to: get the hell out of anywhere the weather is making you miserable, at all costs. If you don't cope well with darkness, London and Scandinavia are not the right places for you.
• jader201 11y ago
  "1) Never put your family, friends, or significant other low on your priority list." I would have worded this as: "Always put your family, friends, and significant other at the top on your priority list." Or, at the very least, "above work".
  • peteretep 11y ago
    > "Always put your family, friends, and significant other > at the top on your priority list." Or, at the very > least, "above work". This is a sure-fire way to get stuck in a little town with a dead-end job and the same kids you went to high-school with. Some people are important people to prioritize in your life, but just because they happen to be a friend, related, or you're dating them is not a reason to put them above your other priorities. Answering "Where am I going?" and "Who am I going there with?" in the wrong order is a mistake.
• fuzzythinker 11y ago
  > When in doubt, kiss the boy/girl I got slapped in the face doing that in middle school.
  • grecy 11y ago
    ah, but it was worth it :)
    • fuzzythinker 11y ago
      Not really, it was just a face kiss and she slapped me pretty hard :(
      • rspeer 11y ago
        You still had the right idea in middle school. Slaps in the face stop hurting sooner than regrets do.
      • deleted 11y ago
        [deleted]
  • Torgo 11y ago
    In either case you have removed ambiguity, which is cause of suffering.
    • fuzzythinker 11y ago
      True, I guess I learned first hand "fail fast".
      • knicholes 11y ago
        You learned first "hand."
  • mycroft-holmes 11y ago
    The first thing I thought when I read this one, "Someone is going to rip sama apart on Twitter for his binary mindset."
• JoeAltmaier 11y ago
  I was 5 minutes late to work every morning, because of taking my son to school in the neighborhood where our new house was being built. I didn't want him to have to move schools in the middle of the year. Boss said "This won't do. You'll have to examine your priorities." I thought about it all day, that night. Next morning I got to work (5 minutes late), went in his office, said "I examined my priorities. Work is #12." and I left.
  • georgemcbay 11y ago
    Assuming you were effective at your job, said boss needs to examine what is important to him, slavish respect-mah-authortai-style following of rather arbitrary rules, or having a "bird-in-the-hand" competent employee who gets shit done (perhaps 5 minutes later than the boss-man would like). It is kind of sad how many boss/manager types still fail miserably on this point, and then complain about not being able to hire "good people".
    • simi_ 11y ago
      I'm the counterexample - I like letting capable people as loose as possible, and more often than I'd like this backfires. I'd appreciate some effective pointers on how to deal with this issue.
      • guelo 11y ago
        You only need one metric: is the job getting done. Everything else is a distraction.
        • tspike 11y ago
          How do you measure that? My team just took tons of heat because there was a complex performance issue that needed our full attention. We clearly communicated that we would need a large chunk of time to solve it, and while we tried to stay responsive, a lot of stuff had to just get ignored for a while to be able to make any progress on it. We're finished now, and what we did will eventually save the client literally months of time over the long run, but because we weren't constantly placating the people who wanted to see the job "getting done," we put ourselves at risk of losing the contract. All's well that ends well, I guess. We finished the task, and now we're back to churning through the high visibility low-effort issues and everyone's happy again, but all of those small issues combined don't have as much impact as the big task we just finished.
• Nicholas_C 11y ago
  The title reminds me of a Modest Mouse lyric: "The years go fast. And the days go so slow." Great commentary on life and how time seems to pass.
• lukasm 11y ago
  "Aim to be the best in the world at whatever you do professionally. " "Become the best at one specific thing. Become very good (top 25%) at two or more things. The first strategy is difficult to the point of near impossibility. Few people will ever play in the NBA or make a platinum album. I don’t recommend anyone even try." ref http://pmarchive.com/guide_to_career_planning_part2.html http://pmarchive.com/guide_to_career_planning_part2.html
  • jklein11 11y ago
    Sam Altman's quote is more zen. I took it to mean reach for the stars because the only thing that sucks more than failing is wondering if you would have succeeded. Scott Adam's is slightly more pragmatic. I took his quote as meaning your chances of success are higher if you are a generalist than to pigeonhole yourself with only one skill set. I don't think the two quotes are conflicting pieces of advice.
  • joeperks 11y ago
    I like that second quote a lot, I bookmarked your ref to read this evening. However, I do think it is important we consider Mr. Altman's follow up to your quote: "Even if you miss, you’ll probably end up in a pretty good place." If it weren't for this, "Aim to be the best in the world at whatever you do professionally." would have made me shift in my seat.
  • lojack 11y ago
    > Become the best at one specific thing. I don't necessarily think that's even close to impossible. You can always increase the specificity of a skill to the point where it's possible to become the best at it. If you want an example, it's near impossible for most people to become the best programmer (there can only be one), but go to github and pick a random library and pick the most active contributor to that library and you've most likely found someone who is the best at that domain. Then look at the number of libraries on GitHub. Then you'll start to see how many people are the best at a very specific domain of knowledge.
    • lukasm 11y ago
• 27182818284 11y ago
  He sadly didn't include one of his more insightful, recent Tweets. https://twitter.com/sama/status/593111270095630336 https://twitter.com/sama/status/593111270095630336 Or perhaps that falls under #18 on the list.
• astrocat 11y ago
  > On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work I get that this is aimed at the startup crowd, but I've always felt that this sentiment is pretty privileged. We, the elite, get to cherry pick our work and do what we like. But I bet 9/10 people will never feel they have this luxury, and 8/10 will be right. > Most people pick their career fairly randomly... And in the truest sense of "most people" I would bet that "most people take whatever work they can get, and sometimes something sticks" is probably more accurate. I know these sentiments are a bit cynical, I just can help but feel sometimes that it's irresponsible to dump the "you can be/do anything!" sentiment on our youth when the reality is nowhere near that for most of them. I understand we need ideals and motivation to make them a reality, but more flowery advice doesn't seem to be the best tactic. Regardless, Sam is an amazing individual who has done an enormous amount for others and the startup community. This isn't meant to disparage his views or advice; ironically, I think it's just hardest to give truly sage advice when you're trying to be sage.
  • zan2434 11y ago
    Hmm I always default to not "do what you love" but "love what you do" in that most work has some interesting component, and what's really important to develop is the ability to isolate that aspect and motivate yourself with it. That's something I think everyone can use, regardless of their position in life
    • AdeptusAquinas 11y ago
      Totally agree. I love programming, and solution design. Working in service IT I get a lot of both; at the same time though, what we build doesn't interest me at all (corporate web services, government intranets etc). I like my job, and I do it well, but I consider that to be in spite of what it produces.
    • deleted 11y ago
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    • EGreg 11y ago
• mathattack 11y ago
  I believe that the title captures everything. Similar with having kids too, btw. Anything worth doing does require a lot of work. Long days, and you forget the time periods.
  • mhb 11y ago
    The days are long but the years are short: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KktuoQwb3vQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KktuoQwb3vQ
• bambax 11y ago
  > Ask for what you want. That advice will land you in jail.
  • EugeneOZ 11y ago
    Only if you won't follow rule 34.
  • theandrewbailey 11y ago
    > Be nice to strangers. Be nice even when it doesn’t matter. I guess you missed this.
    • bambax 11y ago
      I usually never comment when I'm downvoted; I was assuming it was because people found my comment too short and unfunny, but your comment makes me wonder if people actually think it's mean?? What I meant was, the things I actually want are mostly illegal and it's better to not ask for them out loud. So if my comment is mean, it's mean to me.
• bengali3 11y ago
  > "having enough money so that you don’t stress about paying rent does more to change your wellbeing than having enough money to buy your own jet" remember the old adage future billionaires of HNs: "if it flys, floats or flirts, it's cheaper to rent it". Rarely does it make sense to buy a jet until you're utilizing over 100 hrs annually. Charter->JetCard->Fractional->Ownership
  • bbcbasic 11y ago
    >> ...or flirts... That is so not politically correct. It's funny.
    • ojbyrne 11y ago
      The version I heard used a different f-word. So it's definitely politically correct.
    • subverting 11y ago
      Does that make it untrue?
    • ryanx435 11y ago
      human nature is no longer politically correct? lol. they're called "gold diggers," brother.
    • ryanx435 11y ago
      human nature is no longer politically correct? lol. they're called "gold diggers," brother.
  • majani 11y ago
    this video explains why a billionaire may consider the purchase: https://youtu.be/0J6BQDKiYyM https://youtu.be/0J6BQDKiYyM
• orionblastar 11y ago
  All good advice. Wish I knew it when I was starting out. I should have made more friends, I should have taken more risks, I should have found ways to avoid stress so I wouldn't end up sick and disabled.
• johnward 11y ago
  " On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work." How do you fix this? For the last 10 years of my life I've basically woken up each morning and wished I hadn't. I don't like what I do. I can't afford to not do it anymore. I don't even know what, if anything, I would actually enjoy waking up for.
  • Balgair 11y ago
    Try a psychologist then, but before you start taking any drugs from them, just do a quick head count of the people around you. If more than 25% of them are total assholes, it's time to move. Really though, I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you gotta grab your huevos and change something. If there are financial issues, get rid of them as best you can. Explore other options for making money or getting out of debt or whatever you are in. If there are family/emotional reasons, remember that other people have feet too and can walk with you to a new place. If there are depression reasons, I hear running and weight lifting are great for it. Docs too, as I said. Also, music and dancing seem to be good too. You gotta plan for the end of your life just as much as the next meeting. And only you can do it for you. Take baby steps though, but keep them rolling.
    • johnward 11y ago
      I've been to a counsellor but no psychologist is taking new patients in my area (that I've been able to find). I get up everyday at 6 and hit the gym before work. Usually 30-60 minutes of walking on an incline followed by an hour of lifting. I run maybe 1 or 2 times a week, still trying to get back into it. It's a little bit more difficult at 275lbs then I remember it being at <220lb but I still can make it 2 miles without stopping. I'm down 30lbs but I'm still up and down emotionally. I don't really have any reason my life seems pretty good relatively speaking. I'm much better now than I was a few years ago but still not good enough I guess.
  • cafebeen 11y ago
    Depending on happiness from a job doesn't actually seem healthy. I don't know your situation, but maybe there's some way to improve life outside work, e.g. social circle, hobbies, fitness, mental health.
• zpatel 11y ago
  It may sound a bit weird but here's one from me: ponder over the internals (design) of your own self at least once in your life.
  • peteretep 11y ago
    Book recommendation: "Psychocybernetics".
• ronilan 11y ago
  I think that when you have kids you realize that actually "The days are short but the dacades are long." I have been part of three times "their whole life", and still, not a decade gone by.
• sinwave 11y ago
  This is actually some really great advice to hear upon graduating from college. Thank you.
• noonespecial 11y ago
  That was great. I actually heard the music in my head and expected #37 to be "Trust me on the sunscreen".
• ejpastorino 11y ago
  Can't agree more.
• pan69 11y ago
  >> Occasionally stay up until the sun rises talking to people. Ha! Just wait 'till you hit 40 my friend..
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• bodecker 11y ago
  Awesome advice. Reminds me of this response on Quora - "How should a 24-year-old invest time?": http://www.quora.com/How-should-a-24-year-old-invest-time-1/answer/Rizwan-Aseem http://www.quora.com/How-should-a-24-year-old-invest-time-1/...
• pyrrhotech 11y ago
  A lot of the points can be boiled down to "work very hard". But what if you simply are the type of person who doesn't like working? Another point is do what makes you happy. For some lucky folks, work makes them happy, but there's a lot of us who don't like it. And no, it's not just a specific job. A lot of us are just kinda lazy to be perfectly honest. The things I enjoy most are running, eating fine meals, quality times having beers with friends, traveling, reading and playing video games. I do work so I can support myself so that I can do those other things, but I certainly wouldn't work if I didn't have to (and I've worked and saved long enough that I'm fairly wealthy and won't have to for very much longer). I think one of the reasons is that I don't care about social status or material possessions or competing at who can make the best chat app or anything like that, and work just feels like a grind to me. Sure, some of it is better than other parts, but in the end, I'd always rather be doing something else. I also am not usually impressed with other peoples' career achievements, and getting a promotion or a better job doesn't give me any sort of feeling of accomplishment or 'high', just, well I guess I'm a few years closer to being wealthy enough to get out of this bullshit. A lot of people will look down on me for this, but I'm ok with that as I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. I just don't think "work hard" is necessarily the best advice to all people. I do think work is important as it's a means of contributing to society, and in the end, I'm glad I did my part, but after I have enough to "get out", I'll have satisfied my conscience to spend the rest of my days having good times and doing things that really make me happy.
  • EazyC 11y ago
    I think the difference between you and the people that want to work hard to "make the best chat app" is that the sense of fulfillment and the concept of living a good life between you and this group comes from two different things. For you it's just being happy by being with friends and family etc while for others its accomplishing something they truly believe in whether it's some college kid trying to make the next chat app or Elon Musk trying to make humanity an interplanetary specie. That sense of fulfillment is attained from different things - and that's ok. Everyone has their things that make them feel fulfilled, and they are not always the same. You just have to be honest with yourself to know what that is.
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• hans 11y ago
  our culture is so tone deaf to aging, you turn 30 and think life is behind you, old man before death's door .. (anyone know the W.Blake drawing?) in another decade 19yr olds will be drafting up long blog posts about recipes for success, how they made it, legacy concerns et al. its like the old man's domain got poached, and now old people have nothing to say they are so far out there .. :]
  • finnjohnsen2 11y ago
    Couldn't agree more.
• navait 11y ago
  > How to succeed: pick the right thing to do (this is critical and usually ignored) How does one even find the right thing to do?
  • cortesoft 11y ago
    Well, start by not doing the wrong thing to do.
• eonw 11y ago
  maybe he got his position in life based on luck... who is to say the same advice will get anyone anywhere? i think its thoughtful and enjoyed reading it... but i prefer to take all words with a grain of salt.
• natural219 11y ago
  I agree with this list almost entirely, except I would move #18 to #1.
• edpichler 11y ago
  A lot of wisdom in a young man. I did not know he is just 30.
• _metamorphosis_ 11y ago
  I guess Sam is aging now :) Thats when you start thinking - "wow! this is how I feel about life and it totally makes sense. Let me share with the world". And now you understand why elderlies love to talk and give "sound" advice to any person without grey hair.
• BhavdeepSethi 11y ago
  If I had to pick the best line in that blog, it'll be this: "You become an average of the people you spend the most time with."
• jclish 11y ago
  Brings to mind the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" portions of Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love". Viewed from 52 years old you make me wish my thoughts had been as coherent when I was 30. Good stuff.
• peterburkimsher 11y ago
  Pray.
• lugg 11y ago
  Heh getting close to 30 I felt awkward reading this one: > 20) Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. In fact, in your 20s, I think it’s ok to take a “Give me financial discipline, but not just yet” attitude. All the money in the world will never get back time that passed you by. Compounding interest takes time and not a lot of money, don't let that time pass you by.
  • sltkr 11y ago
    Compound interest isn't some magical force. https://xkcd.com/947/ https://xkcd.com/947/
• Thiz 11y ago
  > ... but the decades are short And there are only ten of them. Don't waste them. If I could pick where to live my decades again this is what I'd do: 1st decade in South America. Learn to play and love your family. 2nd decade in Europe. Learn to study and admire art. 3rd decade in USA. Learn to make money. 4th decade in Australia. Learn to raise a family. 5th decade in Africa. Learn to love nature. 6th decade in Germany. Learn to philosophize. 7th decade in India. Learn to pray. 8th decade in the caribbean. Learn to enjoy life. 9th decade in an asylum. Learn to make friends for the last trip. You won't make it to the tenth decade. Enjoy it while it lasts.
• la6470 11y ago
  See you at 40 ~~ ha ha.
• jqm 11y ago
  There is so much crap that comes out of startup guys, but occasionally one comes across a diamond. I'm bookmarking the page. This is wisdom.
• throwaway9324 11y ago
  I find this unremarkable. It's good advice for sure and most people would casually agree with it, but it's not consistent with what YC is doing nor preaching. That doesn't give the advice much weight in my opinion.
  • theandrewbailey 11y ago
    YC is more than just Sam.
• rdudekul 11y ago
  > Whether or not money can buy happiness, it can buy freedom, and that’s a big deal. For me freedom was more important than absolute wealth. I found that freedom need not be very expensive. The idea is to convert your savings into income overtime. First become a software development consultant, then keep building your reputation and rates consequently by delivering results. Then invest your savings in income generating assets. There are a few things I experimented with that yielded some results: a) Buy economical/smaller commercial real estate and rent it out to companies b) Lend money on interest to people you trust. Initially give them small amounts and depending on their ability to consistently pay interest, you may lend them more money on some kind of securities (their real estate properties etc). c) Research annuities and invest in various annuities. I am yet to explore this option fully. Overall I am happy with my progress so far, that afforded me to take a year off in India (living relatively well in a 4000 sq.ft villa).
• JohnLen 11y ago
  Might be due to the competitive nature that we are living in this world. Things moving fast and everyone competes to be better, working longer hours each day . The hectic life that we experiencing daily make us feels like time past faster.
  • ddingus 11y ago
    THIS! I've noticed the difference. It's been slower. I feel like managing this perception is very important.
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• Ryan-hou 11y ago
  Really helpful, but the question is too hard to concentrate so many things on one person.
• Ryan-hou 11y ago
  Really helpful, but the question is too hard to concentrate so many things on one person.
• hsrada 11y ago
  > 11) Go out of your way to be around smart, interesting, ambitious people. That is hard.
  • pbowyer 11y ago
    Especially if your significant other's career takes you from a university city full of smart, interesting people to an industrial town in the middle of nowhere. The internet is a poor medium for motivation and learning compared to real people.
• Kiro 11y ago
  Since these lists are always a lot about friends and family let me list some non-mainstream insights I've gained about my own life: 1. Social activities are mostly a waste of time. 2. If you want to sit at home 24/7 programming then do it. 3. Don't make it a habit coming up with excuses. Learn to say no without an excuse attached. 4. Some people are not meant to be in a relationship. If you're in a healthy and happy relationship but things still feel off, considering terminating it.
  • mikob 11y ago
    This reads like sarcasm. But if you're serious, put it this way: if you were on this Earth alone what would you live for? Would you be sitting at home programming 24/7?
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• anon261114 11y ago
  1) Never put your family, friends, or significant other low on your priority list 2) Don’t spend time trying to maintain relationships with people you don’t like, and cut negative people out of your life. Unfortunately, for me, those two points are in contradiction.
  • minot 11y ago
    I know it is never easy in practice and I'd urge you to think long and hard (like American founding fathers had to when seceding from Britannia) but it is possible and sometimes imperative to decide who is family and who is no longer family.
• iseedeadpeople 11y ago
  I agree with all the points, but, as with most things, the gulf between knowing and doing is gigantic.
• adnam 11y ago
  37) make shorter lists
• andreash 11y ago
  tl;dr: YOLO
• somberi 11y ago
  Adding my 2 cents to the chatter about becoming a parent and the changes in the brain. http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01/what-happens-to-a-womans-brain-when-she-becomes-a-mother/384179/ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01/what-happe...
• bpizzi 11y ago
  I can't help comparing this set of advices to its 2000y old stoics counterparts (no offense being intended to OP). 1) Never put your family, friends, or significant other low on your priority list. > stoic way: definitely a stoic's one, we're meant to love nature and mankind. 2) Life is not a dress rehearsal—this is probably it. Make it count. > stoic way: there's no joy in pursuing anything, because you'll always want more, thus you can't have it all and will feel unfullfilled. 3) How to succeed: pick the right thing to do > stoic way: "How to die at peace: achieve tranquility" ~ do not seek success nor something to do. 4) On work: [...] it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work. > stoic way: a fullfilled life is a life where you let nothing harms your tranquility. 5) On money: Whether or not money can buy happiness, it can buy freedom, and that’s a big deal. > stoic way: true freedom comes when you don't own nothing and owe nobody. 6) Talk to people more. > stoic way: learn and teach, but do not expose your inner feelings, let them pass on you. 7) Don’t waste time. > stoic way: to embrace fatalism is to achieve tranquility. Time is meant to be contemplated. 8) Don’t let yourself get pushed around. > stoic way: yes, don't let other's aggressivity have an impact on your tranquility 9) Have clear goals for yourself > stoic way: yes, definitely, but those goals should get you to tranquility 10) However, as valuable as planning is, if a great opportunity comes along you should take it. > stoic way: only if that opportunity will let you achieve a more peaceful state of mind 11) Go out of your way to be around smart, interesting, ambitious people. > stoic way: be around peaceful, calm, wise people. 12) Minimize your own cognitive load from distracting things that don’t really matter. > stoic way: yes, if what really matters is one own tranquility 13) Keep your personal burn rate low. > stoic way: yes, if by a low personal burn rate you mean a high tranquility level 14) Summers are the best. > stoic way: there's not real winter on mediterranean coasts :) 15) Don’t worry so much. > stoic way: yes, definitely, never forget that your life is meant to an end sooner or later, always be prepared for that moment, die in peace. 16) Ask for what you want. > stoic way: you should get rid of the feeling that you want things, it's a infinite loop. 17) If you think you’re going to regret not doing something, you should probably do it. > stoic way: to regret something is only a consequence of wanting something, consider not wanting something at first 18) Exercise. Eat well. Sleep. Get out into nature with some regularity. > stoic way: Excercise because it reminds you of your limits. Eat only what's necessary because it makes you enjoy good meals when it occurs. 19) Go out of your way to help people. Few things in life are as satisfying. > stoic way: learn to love people whatever they do, few things in life can have more impact on your peace of mind that letting others behaviors perturbs you. 20) Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. > stoic way: youth is meant to prepare you to be a fullfilled elder, and in that sens you should not waste it. 21) Tell your parents you love them more often. > stoic way: you sould tell yourself repeatedly how much you'll be sad when you'll loose your parents, because that will let you seek and enjoy their company more often. That works for family and friends too, of course. 23) Learn voraciously. > stoic way: learn, then teach 24) Do new things often. > stoic way: do less, seek peace of mind, that's where lies the feeling of an accomplished life 25) Remember how intensely you loved your boyfriend/girlfriend when you were a teenager? Love him/her that intensely now. > stoic way: see 21) 26) Don’t screw people and don’t burn bridges. Pick your battles carefully. > stoic way: avoid battles, battles lead to anger, anger lead to a crippled life by destroying your tranquility 27) Forgive people. > stoic way: you sould have nothing to forgive at first, because you should not let others have impact on your peace of mind. However if someone asks for forgiveness, then let it be. 28) Don’t chase status. > stoic way: definitely a stoic advice, don't chase fame. 29) Most things are ok in moderation. Almost nothing is ok in extreme amounts. > stoic way: things are ok in scarcity, that's when you enjoy it most when it occurs. 30) Existential angst is part of life. [...] Nothing is wrong with you for feeling this way; you are not alone. > stoic way: true, we are not alone and we are all humans. But that is false to suggest that it's ok the suffer angst, we should not let us be angst-ridden. 31) Be grateful and keep problems in perspective. Don’t complain too much. Don’t hate other people’s success (but remember that some people will hate your success, and you have to learn to ignore it). > stoic way: oh yes, "you have to learn to ignore it", that's is very stoicish :) 32) Be a doer, not a talker. > stoic way: be a thinker 34) Think for a few seconds before you act. Think for a few minutes if you’re angry. > stoic way: think, then do nothing 35) Don’t judge other people too quickly. You never know their whole story and why they did or didn’t do something. Be empathetic. > stoic way: yes, be empathetic, but do not judge at all, because it gives you no more tranquility 36) The days are long but the decades are short. > stoic way: your life is long, as long as you contemplate every single moment Disclaimer #1: I'm not a native english speaker Disclaimer #2: I've been introduced to Stoic philosophy by "A guide to the good life", where William B. Irvine make a good digest of Seneca, Epictetus and others. I'm in no way an expert and may (must) have made mistakes here.
• brc 11y ago
  >Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. In fact, in your 20s, I think it’s ok to take a “Give me financial discipline, but not just yet” attitude. All the money in the world will never get back time that passed you by. This is kind of conflicting with the 'keep your personal burn rate low', and I don't really agree with it. Here's why: most young people who burn a ton of money do it on something stupid, like buying a new car they can't afford, or going on a series of expensive holidays they will barely remember, or wasting money on expensive clothing labels. When you're in your twenties, keeping your personal burn rate low is imperative, and the excess needs to go into investment. The wonders of compounding really start to kick in right when you need it the most down the track. I was pushed towards making investments early on and hands down they were the best decisions I ever made. It meant forgoing party holidays with friends I don't talk to anymore, and having old cars and having to stay in sometimes. So developing financial discipline early is paramount, because the investment habit gets harder and harder as you go on, as life's luxuries and personal expectations go up and up. For the record, eating ramen while working on startups falls into the investment category, as long as you're serious about making it work. I don't know how rich sama is, and maybe wasting a bit of cash was fine because the cash rolled in, but for the majority of people in their early twenties, starting saving and investing 10-20% of your income now. And definitely stay away from expensive iTems bought on credit. The worst thing you can do is develop a credit habit - you'll spend the majority of life setting up someone else's retirement.
• yaniksilver 11y ago
  Sam has achieved a lot already at the age of 30. I will be 30 next year, and am not even close. There are a lot of decisions you make timely can change your life significantly. That's what I need to do. I have been fighting depression since last two years...I thought to quit quite a few times. I tried to resist. But when the pressure rise...sometimes I thought to do a suicide. I have been suffering from a depression that I didn't get what I deserve...an opportunity that can change my life. While being capable, talented, named among rising marketers around the world, mentioned in a McGraw Hill published best seller. I wish there is a way to survive. I wish I could tell the world that I am equally capable of making things happen. Trying hard and will resist to quit until the depression kill me forever.
• jmnicolas 11y ago
  It's funny how a 30 yo gives advices like he's an old (wise) man :-) You barely become a real adult at 30 (before you're just a "legal" adult) and there's a lot more experience needed to advise people about their lives. Oh and fwiw, I'm 37 and still don't feel qualified to teach people about their lives.
  • gokhan 11y ago
    Teaching vs advice :) I'm 40+ and find his advice quite good and spot on. Reading and thinking on such matters, and hanging around with wise man (he surely does) will make you grow wiser faster. I don't think there's a speed limit on anything if we're talking about humans. There will always be high achievers like Sam, his career shows it. I learned not to ignore them regardless of age and feel good about it.
• stegosaurus 11y ago
  A lot of these posts seem to just accept that 'not everyone is as lucky as us'. I agree, but not because of the same reasons. I went through a period in my life when I just realised that playing silly games wasn't worth it any more. I gave up on the idea of being an 'adult', whatever that means. As a human being I have judgement and I know what me arriving late / not arriving to work means. I don't need to be told. If I am ill, I don't come. If you have a system of 'sickness days', you can employ someone else. Because I am an honest person and I do not want my basic human tendencies to be policed. Biology doesn't care about your employment contract. I enter and leave work when I want to. 99.9% of the time this is normal office hours, but if something important comes up, life comes first. I think this is perfectly reasonable. It means I will be paid less. It means I probably won't be CEO of an investment bank. I don't care. I am a human being, not a cog in a machine. I'll give up my roof, my food, my clothing before I subject myself again.