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Don't Just Say Hello
- deleted 16d ago[deleted]
- Kaxo 16d agoOn IRC back in the day this was "Just Ask".
- inanutshellus 16d agoYeah but you really could just guess and be right most of the time, since the question was likely "A/S/L?" ;)
- copperx 16d ago"Just Jeeves".
- hiccuphippo 16d ago"Don't ask to ask, just ask"
- hyperhello 16d agoIM?
- whoamii 16d agoGood advice. Anyway, hello everyone.
- sam_lowry_ 16d agoEHLO is a better hello.
- karmakurtisaani 16d agoA read this advice a while ago, and now it hurts me every time someone goes "Hi (name)" and then you just sit there looking at the 3 dots indicating they're writing something. Or worse, "Hi (name)" "How are you, all good?" "A question" "Do you know anything about (system)?" "I have this problem..." Just have a bitnof respect for my time and attention and write your damn message already.
- passivegains 16d agoThat's not really the same thing though. They do have a bit of respect for your time and attention, they are writing your damn message already, and you know that because of the dots. The people who prompted this website are leaving the conversation trapped in purgatory until you respond.
- karmakurtisaani 16d agoYeah, I mean that happens as well. Also really long ... that ends up being just a short question.
- deleted 16d ago[deleted]
- bumblehean 15d ago>and then you just sit there looking at the 3 dots indicating they're writing something. I know it's not exactly your point, but I turned off the "X is typing..." indicator in Slack and it made my day to day life at work surprisingly better.
- apparent 16d ago> If the other party is away, and you leave before they come back, they can still answer your question, instead of just staring at a "Hello" and wondering what they missed. Well, you can also just send a second message if your first one doesn't get a quick response: Hey quick question Just wondering when project X is due Would this be slightly better as one message? Maybe in some situations. But some people would find it to be self-centered to jump right into "what can you do for me?".
- thih9 16d agoAbout multiple messages: this can cause multiple notifications, which can be annoying or cause a sense of urgency. About self centered: would you find it self-centered, or would you instead appreciate seeing the complete message?
- apparent 16d agoAppreciate the point about multiple notifications. I fine-tune mine so that when I'm away I don't get notifications by default. Regarding self-centeredness, reasonable minds can differ on this. Some people prefer a bit of chit-chat before getting down to brass tacks. Others want to get in and get out as quickly as possible. My point was that this is not one-size-fits-all advice.
- thinkingemote 16d agoPast submissions with hundred of comments in total for you all to enjoy: https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=nohello.net https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=nohello.net
- jamietanna 15d agoAnd of nohello.com: https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=nohello.com https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=nohello.com
- john_strinlai 16d agothis used to bug me a lot more than it does now, perhaps because it doesn't really happen to me very often anymore. when it does, i just type "hi" back and then move on with my day.
- whythismatters 16d agoFunny! Not sure if it's a cultural thing, but I experienced this phenomenon with Indian and Portuguese guys, and while I'm sure they're just trying to be polite, it's annoying as hell. Just ask the damn question!
- 98codes 16d agoI've gotten "Hi" with zero other context from people of all backgrounds.
- ChrisMarshallNY 16d agoI just assume they are pig-butcherers, and never respond.
- shibaprasadb 15d agoIt is quite prevalent in India, sadly. I had this nohello.net as my Teams status - and it was construed as being rude.
- xtiansimon 15d agoThere’s a term for this kind of message: phatic expression. Ie. ‘Hello, is this thing on?’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression
- owebmaster 15d agoI'd say it's the opposite of politeness in many cases. Some people do it to transfer to you the responsibility of that interaction and/or to bait into stopping what you doing to engage with them.
- steanne 16d agomight wanna make that year reference in the text dynamic
- jpease 16d ago‘sup y’all?
- doug_durham 16d agoI would consider the approach in this posting to be rude. I feel like they are shoving a bunch of information at me without context. Part of the purpose of the salutation is to allow the call receiver to orient themselves. “Who is calling?” “How urgent is this?” “Do I have time to talk now?”
- Centigonal 16d agoThis is about chats, not calls though - you can look at the context and make the same determination. Even for calls, "hey, do you have a sec to help me troubleshoot the CDN setup?" is way better than "hello," followed by a call if you respond.
- SketchySeaBeast 16d agoThe thing with a messaging "hello" is it doesn't provide much of that information. You're only able to evaluate the time commitment and urgency by having the content of the request - a "Hello" ping on instant messenger is an attention stealer but it prevents the reader from being able to triage. It commits them to paying attention and waiting for at least part of a conversation that they may or may not have time for.
- jolmg 16d agoWith async communication, the expectation is that they can generally take as long as they need. You put your message and maybe they'll get back to you then or in 5 minutes or in an hour, etc, but they have all the information to orient themselves on their own time. If you just go "hello" and have this synchronous chat, then there isn't time to orient yourself, because the expectation is to respond as if you're in a face-to-face convo.
- Kim_Bruning 16d agoIf it's a voice call, yes. But for text, folks can put the entire thing into a single message. Now you have all that data you need in one go, and you can decide if and when to answer in your own time.
- pluc 16d agoWhy stop there, you don't need all words smart guy, ahead of time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K-L9uhsBLM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K-L9uhsBLM let's do letters next? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ella_Minnow_Pea https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ella_Minnow_Pea)
- mr_mitm 16d agoWhat? No one says you can't say hello. It just shouldn't be the only thing you say
- pluc 16d agoHello's an established communication protocol that allows the speaker to verify the target is available, listening and ready to initiate a conversation. I've only ever seen this site quoted to defend people's brutish behaviour. If we're going to discard centuries of consensus, I say why stop there. If you gotta call someone for support, do you say hello and wait for them to say hello back or do you just unload your question?
- throawayonthe 16d ago> If we're going to discard centuries of consensus are we? imo there's just a different form of consensus for async communication, a more apt comparison would perhaps be a snail-mail letter: would you send a letter with "Hello!" and wait for a reply? just include the hello with the rest of the message :P maybe the disconnect people are having with this is whether instant messaging is actually async, or does one draw the line at email?
- ryandrake 15d agoAlmost all chat apps provide presence and availability to would-be chatters. They already know if I am available and open to chat.
- Kim_Bruning 15d agoImagine in the 19th century, you receive a telegram consisting of only HELLO STOP (Didn't you have to pay per message?)
- ChrisArchitect 16d agoContent origins somewhere as far back as 2007. Various site(s) maybe 2013.
- kube-system 16d agoThe easiest solution is to simply not respond to "hello"s. If they have a question, they'll ask.
- m2f2 16d agoHi is a shorthand for "can you talk" or "are you on screensharing" or "is there anyone looking over your shoulder" or such things It's not definitely a sign that I'm actually interested in greeting you, or asking about your migraine. Just something like "how do you do" which is a total nonsense either, so this discussion is moot.
- beart 16d agoHmm, Except most chat applications have an indicator that already answers all those questions in the basic sense. When I set myself as "in a meeting" or "busy", it means... just that. "hey I see you are busy, are you available?" doesn't make a lot of sense. Furthermore, I can't actually answer in the shorthand, because I don't know anything about it. "can you talk?" - for how long? about what? with who? I have no idea how to respond to you. Please, just tell me what you want - "Hi, wondering if you have 5 minutes to chat about <topic>?".
- verytrivial 16d agoI often think people are wanting to know if you're there or busy and are gauging your response time for an answer. According, if I'm busy I ignore hellos 100%, but if I'm not, it type "hi" and immediately close the tab/window and spend zero effort thinking about who they are or what they might want. Their question normally follows. If the pleasantries persist, I repeat this algorithm, but replace with "never better!" (insta-close! And continue previous train of thought)
- kadoban 16d agoMy problem with that is the answer of if I'm too busy depends on what the request/question is. Does it need a huge context switch? Is it something I like working on? Etc.
- hackersnooze1 16d agoplease dont send this to anyone unless you want your whole office to think youre a dickhead lol
- ChrisMarshallNY 16d agoI used to live South of the Mason/Dixon line (MD, so just barely South), and have many friends, from even farther South. I live in New York. These cultures have radically different approaches to communication. New Yorkers want you to get right to the point. No dilly-dallying. I think that most of the SV Californians I've dealt with, have been similar. They be like: Hey Chris, Do you have a published API for the Widget library that was recommended? Southerners, on the other hand, like to "break the ice," with some small personal talk, like: Hey Chris, I hope this finds you in good spirits, and good health. Down here, we're experiencing a bit of a heat wave, so our air conditioners are running all day. I was writing to ask you if you have an API spec. for that library that was recommended to me...
- throawayonthe 16d agosee but both of those messages are fine by the nohello 'rules', the second one is still including the actual request together with the greeting/personal talk, as is appropriate for async communication
- rascul 16d agoI feel like it's fine for social chat but for technical chat I feel similar to the article.
- duxup 16d agoAt one company I got so many messages like that … I just chose not to respond if they didn’t have an actual message. One of the managers who was not a fan of mine (or anyone) tried to get me in trouble for not responding to his team (they had a habit of handing off tickets they didn’t like the look of to other teams). I gathered up all the plain “hello” messages and sent it as my response. There were hundreds of them in a single month. My response was that I was working my own tickets and can’t stop to address “hello” messages with no context hundreds of times a month. If they have a critical situation, then they need to say so to get me to break away from my critical situation….
- jerlam 16d agoThis used to bother me, but I've been giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming they are used to working with remote people in all time zones and it's actually a check to see if I'm present. If I don't respond, they'll try someone else and get an answer faster. The calling analogy doesn't work because the person on the other side of the phone had to pick up and is present. The "hello" is more like leaving a voicemail saying "If you're there, pick up, but you don't need to call back".
- ryandrake 15d agoAlmost all chat apps provide presence and availability information to would be chatters.
- BiraIgnacio 15d agoDo "just say hello". Be nice, life is short and relationships and people are a huge part of it.
- NekkoDroid 15d agoI've got 2 links permanently in my bio on Discord. One being this and the other being https://dontasktoask.com/ https://dontasktoask.com/. While the second one is more something that would happen in public channels, it is always handy to have the link around.
- rafet 14d ago[dead]