8 ms·

The Real Luxuries In Life

528 points by tosh 1mo ago

mmaunder 1mo ago
Health determines the quality and quantity of time, so put that at the top above all else.
- stackghost 1mo ago
  As with many things, it's easier to stay healthy if you are wealthy. You can buy personal training services, workout gear, a home in traffic-calmed neighborhoods where you aren't jogging or cycling along rural highways, a pool, etc. You can buy fresh fruit and vegetables instead of highly-processed food. If you're American you can buy imported or certified organic meat instead of the hormone-filled shit on the shelves at grocery stores. You can spend less time working and more time cooking healthy, with no pressure to eat fast food because you're in a rush. Money really does buy happiness.
  - s5300 1mo ago
    [dead]
  - retired 1mo ago
    And better healthcare. I accompanied a family member in an ambulance recently and I had the ambulance rerouted to a private clinic. They needed a €25k payment guarantee but we were able to go into surgery within a day.
  - jstummbillig 1mo ago
    Statistically, yes. And statical health things are the only health things to really worry about (because you can't ever do things to avoid getting cancer, you can only ever do things to decrease your chance of getting cancer). But then again, the list of things that statistically keeps you healthy while being expensive is actually very short (GLP-1s currently being the most notable item on it). Supposedly this is going to change in the near to mid future with more wonder drugs incoming. But, for the time being, that's nice!
  - mmaunder 1mo ago
    A graceful pivot. Almost no tire noise.
    - stackghost 1mo ago
      ?
  - turzmo 1mo ago
    Personal training services? Workout gear? Not sure you should have lead with that, these are expensive things with minimal impact.
    - eptcyka 1mo ago
      Those services aid will power instead of health directly.
    - cuu508 1mo ago
      If you are wealthy, it does not matter if they are expensive. If they have any impact, why not?
      - turzmo 1mo ago
        Sure, why not, it’s just not selling the idea that money buys happiness…
        stackghost 1mo ago
        I mean if I had someone tailoring workouts to me, keeping me motivated to stick with a training regimen, and free time enough to get super fit and look great naked, I'd sure be happier.
        wallst07 1mo ago
        You are looking at it from the wrong perspective, you are trying to fit "healthy" into your current environment. I think it's the wrong approach. For example: societies that live the longest and are generally the healthiest do not have gym equipment or trainers, exercise is a core part of their every day life. The mistake you are making [I think] is looking at these things as impossible goals because of lack of more money so it is easy not to try and risk failure.
    - coldtea 1mo ago
      Both have quite a lot of impact if you're wealthy because they're combined with resources and time to do them. If you're not wealthy you can do them, but you have to sacrifice other things, and some of those you wont be able to afford.
- nuancebydefault 1mo ago
  I would put love above health. Suppose you are perfectly healthy and even rich but have no friends to share anything with, life must be meaningless then.
  - boelboel 1mo ago
    The two are related, bad health makes it difficult to have meaningful relations and lack of meaningful relations fucks up your health. Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is worse for life expectancy than loneliness.
  - eastbound 1mo ago
    [flagged]
    - nuancebydefault 1mo ago
      I'm sorry to read that. In fact I meant love in a more broad sense. There are many kinds of love, it does not need to be having a spouse. I work every weekday mainly for having good relations with people, money comes second. But coming back to your story of life (ignoring the last sentence) : it's not too late to find love and also: try knowing and loving yourself, being content a bit more. When that succeeds, it is more easy to find love.
    - brazukadev 1mo ago
      The first half of your message led me to write a well meaning reply to tell you you still have time to be happy and meet that girl from high school or someone else. The second part is so dark and evil that I regret wasting my time.
      - eastbound 1mo ago
        This (very common) approach causes the loop of people's insolation. Why it's bad: I haven't performed my deed, precisely because it's so evil, but you have.
- deleted 1mo ago
  [deleted]
- coldtea 1mo ago
  Usually yes. But people will also sacrifice their health for their loved ones, for example by working hard unhealthy jobs, or for a mission that's larger-than-themselves.
SMAAART 1mo ago
I can proudly say, that I have got 11.5 of that list. My #3 is questionable, since work is stressful. It's my bad, I know better. Working on it.
Liftyee 1mo ago
True. Money is just an instrumental goal. I was thinking about how some have 1000x more money but not 1000x more happiness. Enjoyment doesn't scale.
- tarr11 1mo ago
  Yes money helps you achieve the goals on Brad’s list. It is a luxury to not have to worry about having enough of it.
- 101008 1mo ago
  As other comments already stated and have stated, money should never be the goal, it's the middle. Having money allows you to not worry about some of those topics, or having more time for them. If you don't have more it means you must worry about that. Having money means you don't: you don't have to worry about rent, health insurance, paying for experiences, food, etc. It's true, you don't need that much money, but still.
  - pfdietz 1mo ago
    Goodhart's Law in operation.
- bitwize 1mo ago
  Past being a millionaire or so, making money is a clicker game. It's something you do just for the fun of seeing number go up. And just like a clicker game, past a certain point you're no longer making the money through your own efforts, but by acquiring assets that can make the money for you (like buying the grandmas that bake cookies for you, etc.), so the game becomes determining the right mix of assets that let you acquire more, that you can then plow into more assets for even bigger growth. The super rich aren't making more money because they think more money will buy them correspondingly more happiness. It's a game to them played at massive real-world scales.
  - thr0w 1mo ago
    > acquiring assets that can make the money for you Any ideas beyond real estate?
tobi_bsf 1mo ago
Im only 45, but this is very true.
bix6 1mo ago
13. Time in nature
Multiplayer 1mo ago
Time with my young adult children. They are all out of the house, recently, and there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more valuable/meaningful to us than when they come home for a visit or we spend time out in the world. It's incredible.
- thousand_nights 1mo ago
  this is nice to know as someone who is the adult child. i used to argue a lot with my parents when i was still living with them, but ever since i moved out and we only see each other once every few months, our relationship has improved so much, and we're always happy to see each other in smaller doses
  - nly 1mo ago
    So true..had my parents over for Christmas one year and they stayed for 4 days. 3 would have been perfect.
    - gytdev 1mo ago
      its a saying in Lithuanian: "Guests are like fish - starts rotting after 3 days". It might be a bit dark to some readers :)
  - bheadmaster 1mo ago
    It's because we're no longer a burden. Many parents would gasp at this sentence, but the same parents would likely complain to anyone who'd listen about how negatively their children are affecting their lives.
    - fwip 1mo ago
      It's also the other way around - when the parent is no longer in charge of you, you can coexist as peers more easily.
- ivolimmen 1mo ago
  I lived a short time in my 20s with friends a few blocks from my parents. When I returned to live with my parents for a short period the entire dynamic changed. You leave the house so you don't go to your room, you visit. I started talking more and listening to music with them. I really appreciated my parents more. I hope my relationship with my children will be the same.
cynicalsecurity 1mo ago
Good luck enjoying a slow morning without a job. So much free time, so much joy. Old people give the most ridiculous and unsolicited advice.
- romanovcode 1mo ago
  That is why it is not a "List of things you can have tomorrow" but a "Luxury list". When you have time, health and no stress - that is the luxury OP is talking about. You don't even need to make more money if you have all those things. If you know your health is insured and you are healthy, you have a decent place where you can feel safe and sleep until late mornings and you do not have to worry about how much food costs - you basically live like a king.
  - cynicalsecurity 1mo ago
    These are rhetorical tricks. Mate I see what you mean, but honestly, the article was just the usual useless old man's talk. I'm glad he is posting on the internet, but it was a useless post. Jobs will be a luxury soon, if they aren't already. Sure, dead-end jobs aren't a luxury, but they're basically life support - or rather to say existence support. I live in a country with single-payer healthcare, which some Americans dream so much. If I don't have a job, I'm pretty much screwed - I won't have health insurance. I'm glad I'm healthy, not stupid and not lazy, but single-payer doesn't help that much with life luxuries as you think. To have a place to sleep and not have to worry you need a job - and unless you inherited that place you'll have to work hard for years without the luxuries the old chap talks about anyway. Those are just old man's useless ramblings. I'm sorry, but they are.
- tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
  The unemployed people I know all enjoy slow mornings. It's the rich that seem to be working themselves to the bone.
Detrytus 1mo ago
The cynic in me thinks: most of the things on that list are most easily acquired if you have money.
- Avicebron 1mo ago
  Well yea, it's the luxury that underpins most of the other ones on this list. The real luxury is not having to worry about money so you can focus on things like this. A luxury that is increasingly out of reach..
  - tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
    Everybody worries about money no matter how much they have got. I remember some study where people were asked how much they would need to feel comfortable. No matter where they were on the wealth scale the answer was always about 50% more than they have now.
    - Anamon 1mo ago
      I don't subscribe to that absolute of "everybody". Counter-example: me. I define enough money as not having to worry how to pay rent, bills and food, and being able to do spontaneous purchases without thinking too much about if I can afford it. I'm at that point with my medium-high middle-class income, and I don't want to earn more. I probably wouldn't refuse if it was offered to me, but having more money than I do now would also very likely make me feel very guilty. I don't need more, and I'm already in an incredibly luxurious position that I feel pretty conflicted about because of how much it was all down to luck. I suspect most of my best friends, who are predominantly about as not-rich-but-comfortable as me, feel similarly. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be such good friends.
- seizethecheese 1mo ago
  “People who love you back” is harder if you truly have money.
  - zelphirkalt 1mo ago
chasing 1mo ago
Yup, time and freedom. The true luxuries. And a subset of freedom: The freedom to work on projects that excite you with people you like.
- sublinear 1mo ago
  This is very true. These kinds of lists tend to be reactive to the author's environment and current state of mind. Work is not the enemy. A lack of autonomy ruins motivation. Ask someone younger and their top ten is completely different. Too many will dismiss that as naivete while not recognizing their own ignorance.
malux85 1mo ago
40. The luxuries I am grateful for: Sleeping in as much as I need Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization Not ever having to worry about bills The love from my partner Having the ability to help others selflessly The wisdom I have gained over the last 20 years of life The incredible people around me
- Jeaye 1mo ago
  Would you mind sharing an example of "Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization"? In my experience, work, even when meaningful, is quite separate from self actualization. I'm interested to hear how you're combining them.
  - Slow_Hand 1mo ago
    I’m not OP, but I can speak to my own experience. I am approaching 40 and in two weeks I will begin clowning lessons with a Cirque du Soleil clown. I am thrilled. So why clown as a discipline? Something deeply misunderstood and that probably lowers my social status with people who don’t understand it? Something with zero career utility? Because to me it represents extreme vulnerability. I’m a pretty dignified person. A lot of poise. Goofy, but restrained. If I can debase myself in front of an audience in order to win a laugh then I believe I can do anything. If I can (figuratively) hang my ass out for all to see then I can move with confidence. If I can blow past my natural inclination to save face, or have the answers. If I can discard the emotional hangups that make me feel embarrassed then I can be the person who I (and I suspect a great number of us) want to be deep down. I want to (constructively) tear down everything inside of me that restrains me and discover who I can really be.
    - Jeaye 1mo ago
      Ah, thanks for chiming in with your inspiring anecdote. I realize that perhaps I interpreted "working on" as pertaining to career work, rather than just investment of effort. Your example of clowning shows something that requires real work and, as you laid out, hopefully does wonders to improving confidence, humility, humor, and charm. I wish you the best with that! And happy early birthday. :)
dogscatstrees 1mo ago
A clean place to live with minimal clutter opens room for time to enjoy other things. Labor Day and Memorial day are milestones for assessing your hoarding. Or you could just rely on the season change as a reminder.
howunfortunate 1mo ago
I wonder if the author has these things in abundance, or wants to have them. While they sound incredible to me, I can't help but ponder that the demographic with the highest suicide rate is retired men.
- krashidov 1mo ago
  source?
  - howunfortunate 1mo ago
    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1578415/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1578415/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10227535/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10227535/
    - cindyllm 1mo ago
      [dead]
- koliber 1mo ago
  I know a few retired men who labored hard, neglected relationships and health, and conditioned themselves to the point where a quiet mind and a slow morning would take a lot of work. I don’t think retirement means that you get the things on the list for free. You have to work for a long time to get those things.
deleted 1mo ago
[deleted]
ElProlactin 1mo ago
Venture capitalist discovers importance of time, health, relationships, sleep and travel in his 60s. News at 10.
smokel 1mo ago
Time seems to be one of the most valuable luxuries. AFAIK it is not entirely clear why time seems to pass faster when one grows older. One argument is that the older brain does not form memories as intricate as in the younger brain. Has anyone experimented with actively making more complex memories to make time pass slower? Seems like the best approach to living longer, at least in experience.
- bluebarbet 1mo ago
  If you spend a year in prison then the time will pass incredibly slowly, but in retrospect (this is what prisoners usually say) the ordeal will seem quite short. Conversely, if you spend the year furiously partying or traveling or trying new adventure sports then the retrospective memory will be full to the brim, but the year itself will pass in an instant. It all seems quite logical to me. There's no negotiating with the passage of time.
  - lexandstuff 1mo ago
    I worked in a mattress factory for a while, doing the same repetitive task day in and out. I remember feeling like the days passed painfully slowly, but the years flew by.
- mavilia 1mo ago
  No direct answer, but I’ve personally noticed that having seasons makes a big difference here. After spending the past year on the East Coast with all of the different seasons, I certainly felt like time was going slower and looking back. It is pretty clear cut in my brain as to how much I did during that time. That’s in contrast to where I normally live, which is southern California where you basically just go between Summer and Winter Lite which does seem to make the time pass quicker and lead to more routine living. I’ve often speculated with my friends around here about how there is a “Paradise Effect” of living here with both how people live their lives, as well as with how we perceive time.
- me_smith 1mo ago
  I’m trying to fight it by journaling more and trying to remember more of the details that make each day special (good or bad). Even the small things. Whether that is something I did with my son, or something I did slightly different for a routine task.
blfr 1mo ago
Slow mornings and rest without guilt are very apt and specific but time and health are just general wishes. I would add work with meaning and flow. Also life with few... snags, all the issues that are small but extremely bothersome (knocking sound in a car, that one window that doesn't close fully, etc).
- etothepii 1mo ago
  Why "work with meaning" rather than purpose or meaning on its own? Do you see meaning as conflicting with slow mornings and rest without guilt?
c-smile 1mo ago
I would add there _creativity_ in the sense of creation. And joy of it.
megadragon9 1mo ago
this makes me wonder, does having kids change the list of things on your list? and why?
- andyjohnson0 1mo ago
  Having children changes pretty much everything in your life.
- lotsofpulp 1mo ago
  No, it just means you need a lot more money because you want the things on your list for your kids also.
dude250711 1mo ago
> Ability to travel I choose: ability not to travel (commute).
- mberning 1mo ago
  Right. What these luminaries mean is being driven to the airport and the flying business class (or on a pj) to your next totally frivolous destination.
jmspring 1mo ago
The school year, across the US used to be labor day to Memorial Day. No longer the case. My step daughter’s former district started at the beginning of August, her freshman year of college last weekend. At least here in the states, districts because they pay teachers shit, are getting pushback to add required meetings and learning on the end of the day. Instead there are “short days” for the kids. It’s no longer an issue for me, but seriously annoying how little k-12 are actually in school these days.
kilbuz 1mo ago
Agree with all , but I am not ashamed to admit that some material goods bring me immense pleasure, especially mechanical watches and vintage cars.
zkmon 1mo ago
Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledgeable, need to stay connected, need to be smart, the need to travel and see places, need to taste foods from around the world, need to have many friends, need to be loved by someone, and need to have more money and things. Those are dependencies that make you weak. Lack of those means you won't be happy. Luxury is being happy without having any of those.
- mrec 1mo ago
  Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back. One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.
  - mck- 1mo ago
    Even just asking that question implies self-judgment and a need to “do the right thing”. Perhaps just be, and that is enough.
    - brazukadev 1mo ago
      > Perhaps just be, and that is enough. Don't be evil tho
  - WJW 1mo ago
    Not OP, but there's a nuance. In general there's nothing wrong with wanting to be useful, but it is definitely possible to take it too far. If you get sick and need care, you are typically not "useful". But that doesn't mean you instantly lose all value. I've had colleagues who would feel almost physically ill if they were somehow not able to respond to an incident somewhere, even if they weren't even on call at that point. Almost all of them burned out at some point and were no longer able to respond to anything, even if they'd wanted to. That's not healthy, and it weakens everyone in the long run. Resting without guilt comes from the realization that you cannot keep the world running all by yourself. Let others pick up the work when you need a rest, so you can shelter them when they are down.
ElijahLynn 1mo ago
0. Money (home, food, security)
DenisM 1mo ago
In very broad strokes, it seems that Europeans on the average have much more of these things than Americans. Are they noticeable happier? Would be nice to hear from someone who lived both sides of the pond for a long while.
- qgin 1mo ago
  Happy is tall order, but there is a uniquely American sense of impending doom that is always hanging over your shoulder that doesn’t exist in most other countries.
wewewedxfgdf 1mo ago
Rich people never mention money in such lists. Lists like this look very different when you don't have money.
- reffaelwallen 1mo ago
  because having money isn't the ultimate goal imho. it's what money enables - like a slow morning, a quiet mind, and good health. If money can't provide those or similar things, it loses its value more or less
  - deleted 1mo ago
    [deleted]
  - bluGill 1mo ago
    Money can be a goal, but that's only because you're keeping score with it. If your life doesn't result around the top score in something, money will never be anything but an enabler. Of course, if you're a rich person and trying to keep score, you can also keep your score where's something other than money. If you like art, then having a Van Gogh original is going to be worth more than a money, and so the specific unique art you have can be how you keep score. Don't read the above as if all rich people are trying to keep score in some way. A large majority of them are just trying to live their life. Even when it appears they're keeping score you typically discover they like the art and that's why they have it. they couldn't care less if you have more or less than them. They might be jealous if you own the particular original that they're looking for but they're not keeping score against you with it. Which is good for me and probably the vast majority of those reading this because we have the ability to earn decent amount of money as an engineer and with some investment we can have a nice life and retirement but we will never be anywhere near the top of any attempt to keep score.
- tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
  Most of those things don't cost very much or are free.
htl 1mo ago
Thank your nice
markus_zhang 1mo ago
Mine: - Good health - A calling (something I can devote my life to) I think getting either is good enough for me.
kekqqq 1mo ago
The older I am, the more I appreciate slow days over the weekend, cooking, reading, and just appreciating small things at a slow pace with my gf.
jleyank 1mo ago
As others have said in-thread and elsewhere: work to live, don't live for work. Yes, be professional and exceed expectations from time to time, but your in-basket will be full when you exit. Take time as the years progress to do "other things", as the physical abilities or people involved might not be there "later".
mck- 1mo ago
Brad Feld was the only mentor (out of ~100 we met) during our TechStars Chicago ‘15 program who had sessions with the CEOs of the cohort and told us to take a break each day to call our significant others. He gave us perspective when all of us were focused on hustling for demo day and raising our seed round. He reminded us that amid the hustle, there’s more to life than your startup. Thank you.
arthurpatch 1mo ago
[flagged]
SA9G 1mo ago
Health is obviously first, you have nothing without it. But real joy is wanting to do something, something that is important to you, and being able to. Without desire there is no joy... just a slow countdown.
- Gerard0 1mo ago
  Allow me to join your team. I want and try to do stuff which is important to me and I know there will be problems along the way.
  - SA9G 1mo ago
    And there is joy in solving problems!!
- ryan_n 1mo ago
  Kinda depressing cus that thing used to be coding (or mastery of), which seems to be dying/being replaced by gen ai.
  - SA9G 1mo ago
    Competition perhaps... but CS has not gone away! There is still joy in doing something well and in learning, even if the market will (perhaps for a time) not reward you well for it. Resist Skynet!!
  - skulk 1mo ago
    you can still do it, but it may not be your ticket into a secure (upper?)middle class existence like it used to be.
  - Sammi 1mo ago
    Painting, playing the guitar, and pottery making are likely not going to pay your bills either, but no one can stop you having fun doing any of it. In general you get paid for doing stuff that no one one would do without pay, because it isn't fun. So work is less about having fun and more about what kind of suck you tend to be capable of sucking up.
huflungdung 1mo ago
[dead]
XorNot 1mo ago
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: indoor plumbing, and a nice clean bathroom to use it with. That is a luxury not everyone gets even today.
- summa_tech 1mo ago
  Hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper.
werdnapk 1mo ago
I can't do boring. I've had bouts of time with really not much to do (pre-kids) and it really starts to pick at my brain as to what am I really doing with my life.
wendelandrady 1mo ago
time... oh time is something I long for and hunger for I am only 18 yet I feel like time moves so fast and I don't get to enjoy life day to day in a world where everything seems so fast i just want to slow day and enjoy time but yet again time is the one element in this universe that no one has control over... never the less beautifully put!
Kuyawa 1mo ago
I am 60 too and I'd add to that list 'Doing the things you like' I love letting my mind 'play' with the computer, not work, play And I love pickleball, going to the gym, and watching movies with my wife. My life has become really simple and I enjoy it the most. Yeah, peace of mind is at the top of the list at this age
- qwerpy 1mo ago
  Sounds a lot like my life. Agree with all of this. People were flabbergasted when I told them I was retiring “you’ll be so bored!” “What will you DO with all that time?”. I’m busier now than I was while I was working because I can actually commit to regular workouts/sports/projects instead of only being able to claw a few minutes here and there between work and family. Life is infinitely better. Once you gain control of your time, most of your stress melts away.
dcminter 1mo ago
"Cats. Cats are nice."
closeparen 1mo ago
One through eight read as the list of sacrifices you make in having children. But the experiences of loving and being loved back seem at least incomplete without that.
CrzyLngPwd 1mo ago
Grandchildren. I have five, and they are amazing. Youngest is 9 months. We have an old car goiong to the scrapyard in a couple of weeks, and today I sat in the passenger seat of it as my 13 yr old grandaughter drove it around one of our fields getting more and more confident as I encouraged her to stop, put it in reverse, and drive in the opposite direction. From "this is too difficult" to "I want to be a rally driver" in a few dozen gear changes. Memories like this are some of the luxuries of life. For her, for me, for her parents, and her siblings watching.
- brazukadev 1mo ago
  [flagged]
  - esseph 1mo ago
    What is wrong with you?
    - brazukadev 1mo ago
      what's wrong with my question? Weren't bad people amazing 9 months old grandchildren?
      - esseph 1mo ago
        You're talking about a CHILD, the posters grandchild, and some of the joys of life. And your response is "Well what if they become Hitler?" Are you serious?
- xyzelement 1mo ago
  Exactly. Amazing. My 6 year old kido started to paddleboard this summer and just today took our tandem kayak out by himself into the bay and handled it well despite the wind and waves. Would be hard to imagine a better feeling than watching him grow into a capable young dude.
- roykent 1mo ago
mberning 1mo ago
If you have a family and are not already independently wealthy you will be enjoying very few of those. In my experience.
pizzalife 1mo ago
TLDR: be rich.
- bossyTeacher 26d ago
  TLDR: be rich and young.
luxluxluxlux 1mo ago
Also... Money? Oh this is from someone retired and rich ;). Most could retire if they owned and sold this 4 letter .com used for the blog. The real luxury is the thing you haven't got but desperately need which is different for everyone.
alexpotato 1mo ago
I get the theme of this post. I also get the theme of DHH and Hashimoto talking about how exciting LLMs are and how much they are getting done. I've also spent the last 10 years of my life feeding my family with my tech skills which are primarily coding, debugging and improving observability and monitoring tools and processes. This leads to mixed feelings of both: - this is the most exciting time to be alive and I'm building a gas town - this is the end of my career as I know it and I better pivot hard and fast In other words, been a bit of an interesting last six months.
_kb 1mo ago
> Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days. Ah, I remember pre-parent life too.
rickyyean 1mo ago
My friend wrote something similar recently. Here's her take as a 30-something. https://argentumaspicio806903.substack.com/p/luxuries-as-an-adult https://argentumaspicio806903.substack.com/p/luxuries-as-an-...
- throwaway2037 1mo ago
  I started reading this blog post in good faith. At the end of the first paragraph I stumbled across this sentence: > In the morning, the air in Mongolia is soooooo crisp that it cleanses your soul, and you feel like you’re breathing for the first time. The irony: UNICEF says: "Ulaanbaatar (capital city of Mongolia) is one of the most polluted capital cities in the world, particularly during freezing winter months when particulate matter levels can soar over 100 times safe limits." This means the author probably lived/lives in a big Mongolian city, suffers from severe air pollution all week for several months per year, then maybe drives into the countryside on the weekend for some horse riding. The list at the end of the article is insufferable: She sounds like someone who is incredibly lucky and very financially comfortable. > 7. Having no debt. No student loans. > 8. Buying fun (alcoholic?) drinks without doing the math first. What will she say to a girlfriend who saddled with 100-200K USD in debt from her university degree? Sheesh.
tonymet 1mo ago
I would replace freedom to travel with contentment / joy at home. I love my home , neighborhood and town. I used to die to travel because home had so much chaos. Now my home is beautiful , peaceful and safe so I get homesick when I travel.
chr15m 1mo ago
The most Hacker News thing ever is top comments haggling over the order of the list.
xyzelement 1mo ago
I disagree with this list. I understand it but it's not my list. We have three little kids right, so "time" and "quiet mind" are not on the menu, and "health" is diminished since it's hard to find time to exercise. And yet, we are very lucky to be crunched in this way. I would rather be tired and busy with the kids than relaxed without. Maybe the word luxuries is right actually. This list isn't the "goals" or "essence" of life. It's the nice-to-have luxuries you can try to get after the basics are taken care of.
hintymad 1mo ago
All luxuries indeed. Are they enough, though? Particularly, don't many books talk about how important it is to have productive hobbies or output-oriented hobbies? The underlying thesis is that one would quickly get bored and start seeking the meaning of life if he does not output something consistently. I was wondering if being able to find such hobby and being able to afford it is also a luxury.
bawana 1mo ago
Dogs. 24/7 validation and unconditional love without ads
- aryehof 1mo ago
  So true.
tianqi 1mo ago
The ancient Chinese pursuit of the Five Blessings(五福) is, in my opinion, inspiring. These five blessings are: longevity, wealth, health, virtue and a worthy death.
aryehof 1mo ago
On reading the title, the first thing that came to mind was “a good book”. Albeit, that I view many of the things in the list as “ideals” or “values”, rather than “luxuries”. The greatest thing one can aspire to in terms of an ideal, is to have “peace of mind” in my opinion.
lylo 1mo ago
Very true (in my fifties). I’d also add in a hobby/passion, especially when you’re retired.
tsoukase 1mo ago
Human needs are tricky. We usually hold basic needs as luxuries. Time and health are basic needs while luxuries should be some unneeded details, like a larger car or home. The most basic human need is oxygen, but I think this falls under health.
munksbeer 1mo ago
I have to laugh at this, because on here I see a lot of people talking about family and meaningful relationships. As the father of two young, insanely challenging boys, a lot of the stuff on this list is non-existent and hasn't existed since the birth of the first 7 years ago. Time - Nope Health - Nope, stress, no time, bad eating, no sleep A quiet mind - Nope Slow mornings - Nope Ability to travel - Nope Rest without guilt - Nope A good night’s sleep - Nope Calm and “boring” days - Nope Meaningful conversations - Nope Home-cooked meals - Sort of, but not as much care as previously (see lack of time) People you love - Yes, but challgening People who love you back - Yes
- CrimsonRain 1mo ago
  I'm in similar boat as you but for me, a lot of these are yes. Some went "Nope" for a short while but slowly getting back to yes. That's why they are real luxuries...
  - munksbeer 1mo ago
    How?! Are you children a lot older now?
    - CrimsonRain 1mo ago
      Not really. It is just a combination of great parenting team, money, and a happy healthy baby. While I'm sure a lot of that is luck (about baby), I am sure mother/baby eating obsessively healthy stuff is a big part of it. People give formula, cake candy choco, suger food, carb etc to babies...and they wonder why they act crazy.
      - munksbeer 1mo ago
        Yeah, we don't do any of that stuff. I guess it's just luck. Well done.
XanderOn 26d ago
[flagged]

528 points by tosh 1mo ago

mmaunder 1mo ago

Health determines the quality and quantity of time, so put that at the top above all else.

stackghost 1mo ago
As with many things, it's easier to stay healthy if you are wealthy. You can buy personal training services, workout gear, a home in traffic-calmed neighborhoods where you aren't jogging or cycling along rural highways, a pool, etc. You can buy fresh fruit and vegetables instead of highly-processed food. If you're American you can buy imported or certified organic meat instead of the hormone-filled shit on the shelves at grocery stores. You can spend less time working and more time cooking healthy, with no pressure to eat fast food because you're in a rush. Money really does buy happiness.
- s5300 1mo ago
  [dead]
- retired 1mo ago
  And better healthcare. I accompanied a family member in an ambulance recently and I had the ambulance rerouted to a private clinic. They needed a €25k payment guarantee but we were able to go into surgery within a day.
- jstummbillig 1mo ago
  Statistically, yes. And statical health things are the only health things to really worry about (because you can't ever do things to avoid getting cancer, you can only ever do things to decrease your chance of getting cancer). But then again, the list of things that statistically keeps you healthy while being expensive is actually very short (GLP-1s currently being the most notable item on it). Supposedly this is going to change in the near to mid future with more wonder drugs incoming. But, for the time being, that's nice!
- mmaunder 1mo ago
  A graceful pivot. Almost no tire noise.
  - stackghost 1mo ago
    ?
- turzmo 1mo ago
  Personal training services? Workout gear? Not sure you should have lead with that, these are expensive things with minimal impact.
  - eptcyka 1mo ago
    Those services aid will power instead of health directly.
  - cuu508 1mo ago
    If you are wealthy, it does not matter if they are expensive. If they have any impact, why not?
    - turzmo 1mo ago
      Sure, why not, it’s just not selling the idea that money buys happiness…
      - stackghost 1mo ago
        I mean if I had someone tailoring workouts to me, keeping me motivated to stick with a training regimen, and free time enough to get super fit and look great naked, I'd sure be happier.
        wallst07 1mo ago
        You are looking at it from the wrong perspective, you are trying to fit "healthy" into your current environment. I think it's the wrong approach. For example: societies that live the longest and are generally the healthiest do not have gym equipment or trainers, exercise is a core part of their every day life. The mistake you are making [I think] is looking at these things as impossible goals because of lack of more money so it is easy not to try and risk failure.
  - coldtea 1mo ago
    Both have quite a lot of impact if you're wealthy because they're combined with resources and time to do them. If you're not wealthy you can do them, but you have to sacrifice other things, and some of those you wont be able to afford.
nuancebydefault 1mo ago
I would put love above health. Suppose you are perfectly healthy and even rich but have no friends to share anything with, life must be meaningless then.
- boelboel 1mo ago
  The two are related, bad health makes it difficult to have meaningful relations and lack of meaningful relations fucks up your health. Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is worse for life expectancy than loneliness.
- eastbound 1mo ago
  [flagged]
  - nuancebydefault 1mo ago
    I'm sorry to read that. In fact I meant love in a more broad sense. There are many kinds of love, it does not need to be having a spouse. I work every weekday mainly for having good relations with people, money comes second. But coming back to your story of life (ignoring the last sentence) : it's not too late to find love and also: try knowing and loving yourself, being content a bit more. When that succeeds, it is more easy to find love.
  - brazukadev 1mo ago
    The first half of your message led me to write a well meaning reply to tell you you still have time to be happy and meet that girl from high school or someone else. The second part is so dark and evil that I regret wasting my time.
    - eastbound 1mo ago
      This (very common) approach causes the loop of people's insolation. Why it's bad: I haven't performed my deed, precisely because it's so evil, but you have.
deleted 1mo ago
[deleted]
coldtea 1mo ago
Usually yes. But people will also sacrifice their health for their loved ones, for example by working hard unhealthy jobs, or for a mission that's larger-than-themselves.

SMAAART 1mo ago

I can proudly say, that I have got 11.5 of that list. My #3 is questionable, since work is stressful. It's my bad, I know better. Working on it.

Liftyee 1mo ago

True. Money is just an instrumental goal. I was thinking about how some have 1000x more money but not 1000x more happiness. Enjoyment doesn't scale.

tarr11 1mo ago
Yes money helps you achieve the goals on Brad’s list. It is a luxury to not have to worry about having enough of it.
101008 1mo ago
As other comments already stated and have stated, money should never be the goal, it's the middle. Having money allows you to not worry about some of those topics, or having more time for them. If you don't have more it means you must worry about that. Having money means you don't: you don't have to worry about rent, health insurance, paying for experiences, food, etc. It's true, you don't need that much money, but still.
- pfdietz 1mo ago
  Goodhart's Law in operation.
bitwize 1mo ago
Past being a millionaire or so, making money is a clicker game. It's something you do just for the fun of seeing number go up. And just like a clicker game, past a certain point you're no longer making the money through your own efforts, but by acquiring assets that can make the money for you (like buying the grandmas that bake cookies for you, etc.), so the game becomes determining the right mix of assets that let you acquire more, that you can then plow into more assets for even bigger growth. The super rich aren't making more money because they think more money will buy them correspondingly more happiness. It's a game to them played at massive real-world scales.
- thr0w 1mo ago
  > acquiring assets that can make the money for you Any ideas beyond real estate?

tobi_bsf 1mo ago

Im only 45, but this is very true.

bix6 1mo ago

13. Time in nature

Multiplayer 1mo ago

Time with my young adult children. They are all out of the house, recently, and there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more valuable/meaningful to us than when they come home for a visit or we spend time out in the world. It's incredible.

thousand_nights 1mo ago
this is nice to know as someone who is the adult child. i used to argue a lot with my parents when i was still living with them, but ever since i moved out and we only see each other once every few months, our relationship has improved so much, and we're always happy to see each other in smaller doses
- nly 1mo ago
  So true..had my parents over for Christmas one year and they stayed for 4 days. 3 would have been perfect.
  - gytdev 1mo ago
    its a saying in Lithuanian: "Guests are like fish - starts rotting after 3 days". It might be a bit dark to some readers :)
- bheadmaster 1mo ago
  It's because we're no longer a burden. Many parents would gasp at this sentence, but the same parents would likely complain to anyone who'd listen about how negatively their children are affecting their lives.
  - fwip 1mo ago
    It's also the other way around - when the parent is no longer in charge of you, you can coexist as peers more easily.
ivolimmen 1mo ago
I lived a short time in my 20s with friends a few blocks from my parents. When I returned to live with my parents for a short period the entire dynamic changed. You leave the house so you don't go to your room, you visit. I started talking more and listening to music with them. I really appreciated my parents more. I hope my relationship with my children will be the same.

cynicalsecurity 1mo ago

Good luck enjoying a slow morning without a job. So much free time, so much joy. Old people give the most ridiculous and unsolicited advice.

romanovcode 1mo ago
That is why it is not a "List of things you can have tomorrow" but a "Luxury list". When you have time, health and no stress - that is the luxury OP is talking about. You don't even need to make more money if you have all those things. If you know your health is insured and you are healthy, you have a decent place where you can feel safe and sleep until late mornings and you do not have to worry about how much food costs - you basically live like a king.
- cynicalsecurity 1mo ago
  These are rhetorical tricks. Mate I see what you mean, but honestly, the article was just the usual useless old man's talk. I'm glad he is posting on the internet, but it was a useless post. Jobs will be a luxury soon, if they aren't already. Sure, dead-end jobs aren't a luxury, but they're basically life support - or rather to say existence support. I live in a country with single-payer healthcare, which some Americans dream so much. If I don't have a job, I'm pretty much screwed - I won't have health insurance. I'm glad I'm healthy, not stupid and not lazy, but single-payer doesn't help that much with life luxuries as you think. To have a place to sleep and not have to worry you need a job - and unless you inherited that place you'll have to work hard for years without the luxuries the old chap talks about anyway. Those are just old man's useless ramblings. I'm sorry, but they are.
tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
The unemployed people I know all enjoy slow mornings. It's the rich that seem to be working themselves to the bone.

Detrytus 1mo ago

The cynic in me thinks: most of the things on that list are most easily acquired if you have money.

Avicebron 1mo ago
Well yea, it's the luxury that underpins most of the other ones on this list. The real luxury is not having to worry about money so you can focus on things like this. A luxury that is increasingly out of reach..
- tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
  Everybody worries about money no matter how much they have got. I remember some study where people were asked how much they would need to feel comfortable. No matter where they were on the wealth scale the answer was always about 50% more than they have now.
  - Anamon 1mo ago
    I don't subscribe to that absolute of "everybody". Counter-example: me. I define enough money as not having to worry how to pay rent, bills and food, and being able to do spontaneous purchases without thinking too much about if I can afford it. I'm at that point with my medium-high middle-class income, and I don't want to earn more. I probably wouldn't refuse if it was offered to me, but having more money than I do now would also very likely make me feel very guilty. I don't need more, and I'm already in an incredibly luxurious position that I feel pretty conflicted about because of how much it was all down to luck. I suspect most of my best friends, who are predominantly about as not-rich-but-comfortable as me, feel similarly. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be such good friends.
seizethecheese 1mo ago
“People who love you back” is harder if you truly have money.
- zelphirkalt 1mo ago

chasing 1mo ago

Yup, time and freedom. The true luxuries. And a subset of freedom: The freedom to work on projects that excite you with people you like.

sublinear 1mo ago
This is very true. These kinds of lists tend to be reactive to the author's environment and current state of mind. Work is not the enemy. A lack of autonomy ruins motivation. Ask someone younger and their top ten is completely different. Too many will dismiss that as naivete while not recognizing their own ignorance.

malux85 1mo ago

40. The luxuries I am grateful for: Sleeping in as much as I need Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization Not ever having to worry about bills The love from my partner Having the ability to help others selflessly The wisdom I have gained over the last 20 years of life The incredible people around me

Jeaye 1mo ago
Would you mind sharing an example of "Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization"? In my experience, work, even when meaningful, is quite separate from self actualization. I'm interested to hear how you're combining them.
- Slow_Hand 1mo ago
  I’m not OP, but I can speak to my own experience. I am approaching 40 and in two weeks I will begin clowning lessons with a Cirque du Soleil clown. I am thrilled. So why clown as a discipline? Something deeply misunderstood and that probably lowers my social status with people who don’t understand it? Something with zero career utility? Because to me it represents extreme vulnerability. I’m a pretty dignified person. A lot of poise. Goofy, but restrained. If I can debase myself in front of an audience in order to win a laugh then I believe I can do anything. If I can (figuratively) hang my ass out for all to see then I can move with confidence. If I can blow past my natural inclination to save face, or have the answers. If I can discard the emotional hangups that make me feel embarrassed then I can be the person who I (and I suspect a great number of us) want to be deep down. I want to (constructively) tear down everything inside of me that restrains me and discover who I can really be.
  - Jeaye 1mo ago
    Ah, thanks for chiming in with your inspiring anecdote. I realize that perhaps I interpreted "working on" as pertaining to career work, rather than just investment of effort. Your example of clowning shows something that requires real work and, as you laid out, hopefully does wonders to improving confidence, humility, humor, and charm. I wish you the best with that! And happy early birthday. :)

dogscatstrees 1mo ago

A clean place to live with minimal clutter opens room for time to enjoy other things. Labor Day and Memorial day are milestones for assessing your hoarding. Or you could just rely on the season change as a reminder.

howunfortunate 1mo ago

I wonder if the author has these things in abundance, or wants to have them. While they sound incredible to me, I can't help but ponder that the demographic with the highest suicide rate is retired men.

krashidov 1mo ago
source?
- howunfortunate 1mo ago
  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1578415/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1578415/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10227535/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10227535/
  - cindyllm 1mo ago
    [dead]
koliber 1mo ago
I know a few retired men who labored hard, neglected relationships and health, and conditioned themselves to the point where a quiet mind and a slow morning would take a lot of work. I don’t think retirement means that you get the things on the list for free. You have to work for a long time to get those things.

deleted 1mo ago

[deleted]

ElProlactin 1mo ago

Venture capitalist discovers importance of time, health, relationships, sleep and travel in his 60s. News at 10.

smokel 1mo ago

Time seems to be one of the most valuable luxuries. AFAIK it is not entirely clear why time seems to pass faster when one grows older. One argument is that the older brain does not form memories as intricate as in the younger brain. Has anyone experimented with actively making more complex memories to make time pass slower? Seems like the best approach to living longer, at least in experience.

bluebarbet 1mo ago
If you spend a year in prison then the time will pass incredibly slowly, but in retrospect (this is what prisoners usually say) the ordeal will seem quite short. Conversely, if you spend the year furiously partying or traveling or trying new adventure sports then the retrospective memory will be full to the brim, but the year itself will pass in an instant. It all seems quite logical to me. There's no negotiating with the passage of time.
- lexandstuff 1mo ago
  I worked in a mattress factory for a while, doing the same repetitive task day in and out. I remember feeling like the days passed painfully slowly, but the years flew by.
mavilia 1mo ago
No direct answer, but I’ve personally noticed that having seasons makes a big difference here. After spending the past year on the East Coast with all of the different seasons, I certainly felt like time was going slower and looking back. It is pretty clear cut in my brain as to how much I did during that time. That’s in contrast to where I normally live, which is southern California where you basically just go between Summer and Winter Lite which does seem to make the time pass quicker and lead to more routine living. I’ve often speculated with my friends around here about how there is a “Paradise Effect” of living here with both how people live their lives, as well as with how we perceive time.
me_smith 1mo ago
I’m trying to fight it by journaling more and trying to remember more of the details that make each day special (good or bad). Even the small things. Whether that is something I did with my son, or something I did slightly different for a routine task.

blfr 1mo ago

Slow mornings and rest without guilt are very apt and specific but time and health are just general wishes. I would add work with meaning and flow. Also life with few... snags, all the issues that are small but extremely bothersome (knocking sound in a car, that one window that doesn't close fully, etc).

etothepii 1mo ago
Why "work with meaning" rather than purpose or meaning on its own? Do you see meaning as conflicting with slow mornings and rest without guilt?

c-smile 1mo ago

I would add there _creativity_ in the sense of creation. And joy of it.

megadragon9 1mo ago

this makes me wonder, does having kids change the list of things on your list? and why?

andyjohnson0 1mo ago
Having children changes pretty much everything in your life.
lotsofpulp 1mo ago
No, it just means you need a lot more money because you want the things on your list for your kids also.

dude250711 1mo ago

> Ability to travel I choose: ability not to travel (commute).

mberning 1mo ago
Right. What these luminaries mean is being driven to the airport and the flying business class (or on a pj) to your next totally frivolous destination.

jmspring 1mo ago

The school year, across the US used to be labor day to Memorial Day. No longer the case. My step daughter’s former district started at the beginning of August, her freshman year of college last weekend. At least here in the states, districts because they pay teachers shit, are getting pushback to add required meetings and learning on the end of the day. Instead there are “short days” for the kids. It’s no longer an issue for me, but seriously annoying how little k-12 are actually in school these days.

kilbuz 1mo ago

Agree with all , but I am not ashamed to admit that some material goods bring me immense pleasure, especially mechanical watches and vintage cars.

zkmon 1mo ago

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledgeable, need to stay connected, need to be smart, the need to travel and see places, need to taste foods from around the world, need to have many friends, need to be loved by someone, and need to have more money and things. Those are dependencies that make you weak. Lack of those means you won't be happy. Luxury is being happy without having any of those.

mrec 1mo ago
Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back. One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.
- mck- 1mo ago
  Even just asking that question implies self-judgment and a need to “do the right thing”. Perhaps just be, and that is enough.
  - brazukadev 1mo ago
    > Perhaps just be, and that is enough. Don't be evil tho
- WJW 1mo ago
  Not OP, but there's a nuance. In general there's nothing wrong with wanting to be useful, but it is definitely possible to take it too far. If you get sick and need care, you are typically not "useful". But that doesn't mean you instantly lose all value. I've had colleagues who would feel almost physically ill if they were somehow not able to respond to an incident somewhere, even if they weren't even on call at that point. Almost all of them burned out at some point and were no longer able to respond to anything, even if they'd wanted to. That's not healthy, and it weakens everyone in the long run. Resting without guilt comes from the realization that you cannot keep the world running all by yourself. Let others pick up the work when you need a rest, so you can shelter them when they are down.

ElijahLynn 1mo ago

0. Money (home, food, security)

DenisM 1mo ago

In very broad strokes, it seems that Europeans on the average have much more of these things than Americans. Are they noticeable happier? Would be nice to hear from someone who lived both sides of the pond for a long while.

qgin 1mo ago
Happy is tall order, but there is a uniquely American sense of impending doom that is always hanging over your shoulder that doesn’t exist in most other countries.

wewewedxfgdf 1mo ago

Rich people never mention money in such lists. Lists like this look very different when you don't have money.

reffaelwallen 1mo ago
because having money isn't the ultimate goal imho. it's what money enables - like a slow morning, a quiet mind, and good health. If money can't provide those or similar things, it loses its value more or less
- deleted 1mo ago
  [deleted]
- bluGill 1mo ago
  Money can be a goal, but that's only because you're keeping score with it. If your life doesn't result around the top score in something, money will never be anything but an enabler. Of course, if you're a rich person and trying to keep score, you can also keep your score where's something other than money. If you like art, then having a Van Gogh original is going to be worth more than a money, and so the specific unique art you have can be how you keep score. Don't read the above as if all rich people are trying to keep score in some way. A large majority of them are just trying to live their life. Even when it appears they're keeping score you typically discover they like the art and that's why they have it. they couldn't care less if you have more or less than them. They might be jealous if you own the particular original that they're looking for but they're not keeping score against you with it. Which is good for me and probably the vast majority of those reading this because we have the ability to earn decent amount of money as an engineer and with some investment we can have a nice life and retirement but we will never be anywhere near the top of any attempt to keep score.
tonyedgecombe 1mo ago
Most of those things don't cost very much or are free.

htl 1mo ago

Thank your nice

markus_zhang 1mo ago

Mine: - Good health - A calling (something I can devote my life to) I think getting either is good enough for me.

kekqqq 1mo ago

The older I am, the more I appreciate slow days over the weekend, cooking, reading, and just appreciating small things at a slow pace with my gf.

jleyank 1mo ago

As others have said in-thread and elsewhere: work to live, don't live for work. Yes, be professional and exceed expectations from time to time, but your in-basket will be full when you exit. Take time as the years progress to do "other things", as the physical abilities or people involved might not be there "later".

mck- 1mo ago

Brad Feld was the only mentor (out of ~100 we met) during our TechStars Chicago ‘15 program who had sessions with the CEOs of the cohort and told us to take a break each day to call our significant others. He gave us perspective when all of us were focused on hustling for demo day and raising our seed round. He reminded us that amid the hustle, there’s more to life than your startup. Thank you.

arthurpatch 1mo ago

[flagged]

SA9G 1mo ago

Health is obviously first, you have nothing without it. But real joy is wanting to do something, something that is important to you, and being able to. Without desire there is no joy... just a slow countdown.

Gerard0 1mo ago
Allow me to join your team. I want and try to do stuff which is important to me and I know there will be problems along the way.
- SA9G 1mo ago
  And there is joy in solving problems!!
ryan_n 1mo ago
Kinda depressing cus that thing used to be coding (or mastery of), which seems to be dying/being replaced by gen ai.
- SA9G 1mo ago
  Competition perhaps... but CS has not gone away! There is still joy in doing something well and in learning, even if the market will (perhaps for a time) not reward you well for it. Resist Skynet!!
- skulk 1mo ago
  you can still do it, but it may not be your ticket into a secure (upper?)middle class existence like it used to be.
- Sammi 1mo ago
  Painting, playing the guitar, and pottery making are likely not going to pay your bills either, but no one can stop you having fun doing any of it. In general you get paid for doing stuff that no one one would do without pay, because it isn't fun. So work is less about having fun and more about what kind of suck you tend to be capable of sucking up.

huflungdung 1mo ago

[dead]

XorNot 1mo ago

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: indoor plumbing, and a nice clean bathroom to use it with. That is a luxury not everyone gets even today.

summa_tech 1mo ago
Hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper.

werdnapk 1mo ago

I can't do boring. I've had bouts of time with really not much to do (pre-kids) and it really starts to pick at my brain as to what am I really doing with my life.

wendelandrady 1mo ago

time... oh time is something I long for and hunger for I am only 18 yet I feel like time moves so fast and I don't get to enjoy life day to day in a world where everything seems so fast i just want to slow day and enjoy time but yet again time is the one element in this universe that no one has control over... never the less beautifully put!

Kuyawa 1mo ago

I am 60 too and I'd add to that list 'Doing the things you like' I love letting my mind 'play' with the computer, not work, play And I love pickleball, going to the gym, and watching movies with my wife. My life has become really simple and I enjoy it the most. Yeah, peace of mind is at the top of the list at this age

qwerpy 1mo ago
Sounds a lot like my life. Agree with all of this. People were flabbergasted when I told them I was retiring “you’ll be so bored!” “What will you DO with all that time?”. I’m busier now than I was while I was working because I can actually commit to regular workouts/sports/projects instead of only being able to claw a few minutes here and there between work and family. Life is infinitely better. Once you gain control of your time, most of your stress melts away.

dcminter 1mo ago

"Cats. Cats are nice."

closeparen 1mo ago

One through eight read as the list of sacrifices you make in having children. But the experiences of loving and being loved back seem at least incomplete without that.

CrzyLngPwd 1mo ago

Grandchildren. I have five, and they are amazing. Youngest is 9 months. We have an old car goiong to the scrapyard in a couple of weeks, and today I sat in the passenger seat of it as my 13 yr old grandaughter drove it around one of our fields getting more and more confident as I encouraged her to stop, put it in reverse, and drive in the opposite direction. From "this is too difficult" to "I want to be a rally driver" in a few dozen gear changes. Memories like this are some of the luxuries of life. For her, for me, for her parents, and her siblings watching.

brazukadev 1mo ago
[flagged]
- esseph 1mo ago
  What is wrong with you?
  - brazukadev 1mo ago
    what's wrong with my question? Weren't bad people amazing 9 months old grandchildren?
    - esseph 1mo ago
      You're talking about a CHILD, the posters grandchild, and some of the joys of life. And your response is "Well what if they become Hitler?" Are you serious?
xyzelement 1mo ago
Exactly. Amazing. My 6 year old kido started to paddleboard this summer and just today took our tandem kayak out by himself into the bay and handled it well despite the wind and waves. Would be hard to imagine a better feeling than watching him grow into a capable young dude.
roykent 1mo ago

mberning 1mo ago

If you have a family and are not already independently wealthy you will be enjoying very few of those. In my experience.

pizzalife 1mo ago

TLDR: be rich.

bossyTeacher 26d ago
TLDR: be rich and young.

luxluxluxlux 1mo ago

Also... Money? Oh this is from someone retired and rich ;). Most could retire if they owned and sold this 4 letter .com used for the blog. The real luxury is the thing you haven't got but desperately need which is different for everyone.

alexpotato 1mo ago

I get the theme of this post. I also get the theme of DHH and Hashimoto talking about how exciting LLMs are and how much they are getting done. I've also spent the last 10 years of my life feeding my family with my tech skills which are primarily coding, debugging and improving observability and monitoring tools and processes. This leads to mixed feelings of both: - this is the most exciting time to be alive and I'm building a gas town - this is the end of my career as I know it and I better pivot hard and fast In other words, been a bit of an interesting last six months.

_kb 1mo ago

> Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days. Ah, I remember pre-parent life too.

rickyyean 1mo ago

My friend wrote something similar recently. Here's her take as a 30-something. https://argentumaspicio806903.substack.com/p/luxuries-as-an-adult https://argentumaspicio806903.substack.com/p/luxuries-as-an-...

throwaway2037 1mo ago
I started reading this blog post in good faith. At the end of the first paragraph I stumbled across this sentence: > In the morning, the air in Mongolia is soooooo crisp that it cleanses your soul, and you feel like you’re breathing for the first time. The irony: UNICEF says: "Ulaanbaatar (capital city of Mongolia) is one of the most polluted capital cities in the world, particularly during freezing winter months when particulate matter levels can soar over 100 times safe limits." This means the author probably lived/lives in a big Mongolian city, suffers from severe air pollution all week for several months per year, then maybe drives into the countryside on the weekend for some horse riding. The list at the end of the article is insufferable: She sounds like someone who is incredibly lucky and very financially comfortable. > 7. Having no debt. No student loans. > 8. Buying fun (alcoholic?) drinks without doing the math first. What will she say to a girlfriend who saddled with 100-200K USD in debt from her university degree? Sheesh.

tonymet 1mo ago

I would replace freedom to travel with contentment / joy at home. I love my home , neighborhood and town. I used to die to travel because home had so much chaos. Now my home is beautiful , peaceful and safe so I get homesick when I travel.

chr15m 1mo ago

The most Hacker News thing ever is top comments haggling over the order of the list.

xyzelement 1mo ago

I disagree with this list. I understand it but it's not my list. We have three little kids right, so "time" and "quiet mind" are not on the menu, and "health" is diminished since it's hard to find time to exercise. And yet, we are very lucky to be crunched in this way. I would rather be tired and busy with the kids than relaxed without. Maybe the word luxuries is right actually. This list isn't the "goals" or "essence" of life. It's the nice-to-have luxuries you can try to get after the basics are taken care of.

hintymad 1mo ago

All luxuries indeed. Are they enough, though? Particularly, don't many books talk about how important it is to have productive hobbies or output-oriented hobbies? The underlying thesis is that one would quickly get bored and start seeking the meaning of life if he does not output something consistently. I was wondering if being able to find such hobby and being able to afford it is also a luxury.

bawana 1mo ago

Dogs. 24/7 validation and unconditional love without ads

aryehof 1mo ago
So true.

tianqi 1mo ago

The ancient Chinese pursuit of the Five Blessings(五福) is, in my opinion, inspiring. These five blessings are: longevity, wealth, health, virtue and a worthy death.

aryehof 1mo ago

On reading the title, the first thing that came to mind was “a good book”. Albeit, that I view many of the things in the list as “ideals” or “values”, rather than “luxuries”. The greatest thing one can aspire to in terms of an ideal, is to have “peace of mind” in my opinion.

lylo 1mo ago

Very true (in my fifties). I’d also add in a hobby/passion, especially when you’re retired.

tsoukase 1mo ago

Human needs are tricky. We usually hold basic needs as luxuries. Time and health are basic needs while luxuries should be some unneeded details, like a larger car or home. The most basic human need is oxygen, but I think this falls under health.

munksbeer 1mo ago

I have to laugh at this, because on here I see a lot of people talking about family and meaningful relationships. As the father of two young, insanely challenging boys, a lot of the stuff on this list is non-existent and hasn't existed since the birth of the first 7 years ago. Time - Nope Health - Nope, stress, no time, bad eating, no sleep A quiet mind - Nope Slow mornings - Nope Ability to travel - Nope Rest without guilt - Nope A good night’s sleep - Nope Calm and “boring” days - Nope Meaningful conversations - Nope Home-cooked meals - Sort of, but not as much care as previously (see lack of time) People you love - Yes, but challgening People who love you back - Yes

CrimsonRain 1mo ago
I'm in similar boat as you but for me, a lot of these are yes. Some went "Nope" for a short while but slowly getting back to yes. That's why they are real luxuries...
- munksbeer 1mo ago
  How?! Are you children a lot older now?
  - CrimsonRain 1mo ago
    Not really. It is just a combination of great parenting team, money, and a happy healthy baby. While I'm sure a lot of that is luck (about baby), I am sure mother/baby eating obsessively healthy stuff is a big part of it. People give formula, cake candy choco, suger food, carb etc to babies...and they wonder why they act crazy.
    - munksbeer 1mo ago
      Yeah, we don't do any of that stuff. I guess it's just luck. Well done.

XanderOn 26d ago

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