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Thanks for sharing! I remember thinking pre-kids mostly about how much work they would be but not really considering the joy they bring too. Like I knew they wo

Thanks for sharing! I remember thinking pre-kids mostly about how much work they would be but not really considering the joy they bring too. Like I knew they would, but vastly underestimated what effect that would have on my life. I don't particularly regret any of my choices either, but knowing what I do now, would have chosen to have kids earlier in my life.

reillyse 2mo ago
I find it funny that I spent my 20s and 30s doing everything in my power to avoid having kids and at this stage in my life I’m doing everything to have kids. I do feel that 30 year old me would definitely be in better shape to chase kids around.
- voidmain0001 2mo ago
  This. I’m an old dad. I realized two years ago that to keep up with my pre-teens I had to change my lifestyle. For me that meant cutting out alcohol, not eating processed foods, avoiding sugar, reduced caffeine, way more protein and doing calisthenics. I sleep well and I have energy. I just have to keep this up for 10 more years when my youngest will be 21, then I can die. ;-)
  - computerdork 2mo ago
    Haha! Very interesting life goal - When your dependents have sucked all the life out of you, you can kick the bucket:) (And am sure it’s worth it)
    - Aeolun 2mo ago
      Rather sounds like they’ve given them their life back.
      - alansaber 2mo ago
        Exactly, good for them
      - computerdork 1mo ago
        Am not sure what your statement means? :) who is "them" and who is "their" in this?
        voidmain0001 1mo ago
        I read it as “them” and “their” is the OP and “they’ve” are OP’s children.
    - WalterBright 1mo ago
      > When your dependents have sucked all the life out of you, you can kick the bucket:) Don't laugh, there's a reason for it. Read the book "The Red Queen" which explains all this.
      - le-mark 1mo ago
        Is this the teen novel or something else? Curios how a teen novel could address these issues?
        WalterBright 1mo ago
        https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature/dp/0060556579/ https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature/dp/0...
      - computerdork 1mo ago
        Ah, think the commenter was joking around a bit > when my youngest will be 21, then I can die. ;-) which I thought was a funny way to put. But, am sure there is an evolutionary reason for dying after your children leave the nest. It's all good:)
  - somenameforme 1mo ago
    Same here in almost all ways, except the caffeine. What was the benefit there? My hot pots keep me going. Once my wife hits menopause I might also consider TRT. I'm almost certainly not low by the standards of the average American, let alone for my age, but it's gonna keep falling as I age and wouldn't mind that extra oomph.
    - voidmain0001 1mo ago
      Previously, when my head touched the pillow I was asleep. Two years ago I noticed that wasn’t happening and I would wake frequently through the night. I cut back my caffeine intake and my restored my sleep. Without knowing the physiological reason I assume my metabolism is slowing down and I had to alter my lifestyle to fit to it, hence my strict diet now. The calisthenics has been awesome for me. I love the progression moves to unlock skills and levelling up. Pushing weights just to stack more plates wasn’t motivation for me - cali is. It replaces my caffeine. As for menopause, or more accurately, perimenopause, my wife has been in that for years. (She’s an old mom) She started HRT about 6 months ago and it has been amazing. She no longer wants to murder me or anyone else that irritates her.
      - somenameforme 1mo ago
        Yip peri is also where we're at right now. Still trying and hoping for another kiddo. Glad to hear it can last for years at least there's a bit more chance.
- tedggh 2mo ago
  There’s never a right time to have kids. But having them older has its perks. You are much more calmed, patient, you are wiser and likely financially stable. Throwing money at problems definitely makes life 10X easier when you have kids, something most people can’t do in their 20s or even 30s.
  - sacul 2mo ago
    I disagree. As a father of nine children, I submit that the best time to have children is when you’re young. The next best time is now. Sure, you’ll be poor, and you’ll make lots of mistakes. But how do you know you’ll be able to have children later? And what’s so important now that makes it worth putting off children?
    - Aeolun 2mo ago
      You’ll feel poor anyhow. More money just means you want more. I’ll say there’s benefits to having a single child, but not nearly as many as there are to have multiple.
      - enos_feedler 2mo ago
        Explain this please.
        alanwreath 1mo ago
        I mean: siblings. Not to discount that it’s great when you play with your kids, but it’s different when your kids play together, and in particular when you can’t play that they have someone to interact with.
        marttt 1mo ago
        Yeah, the group dynamics of, say, a family with two children: 1. Kid A plays with Kid B 2. Kid A plays alone and Kid B plays alone As compared to a three-child household: 1. Kids A, B and C play together 2. Kid A plays with Kid B, Kid C plays alone 3. Kid A plays with Kid C, Kid B plays alone 4. Kid B plays with Kid C, Kid A plays alone 5. Kid A, Kid B and Kid C all play alone So, in a bigger family, many more communication patterns between children can arise, which, among other things, might develop the child's empathy etc. Adding mom and dad as "players" would give us many more possible scenarios here (Kid A playing with mom, Kid B alone or with dad, etc). I'm a father of two with a low income, and I would like to have a third child for precisely the above described reason. As a sociologist in my country put it -- somewhat harsh words maybe, but probably largely true: a single child might get spoiled, two children may start competing too heavily, but three children and above is company.
- testing22321 2mo ago
  I was 41 when my daughter was born. I think it’s a great reason to stay for, strong and healthy. My goal is to keep up with her mountain biking, snowboarding and hiking for as long as I can. Hopefully I’ll be on the game well in my 60s and her 20s
  - annzabelle 2mo ago
    My dad was 42 when I was born, and he was keeping up with me on hikes in my early 20s (his mid 60s). I haven't done much hiking with him lately, but he's going on 50 mile bike rides at 70. I think having kids late can help people stay young longer, if you let it.
- Aeolun 2mo ago
  > I do feel that 30 year old me would definitely be in better shape to chase kids around. Can confirm that starting at 30 makes it relatively easy to keep up. Still not early enough though. Wish I’d started at 25. It’s mostly a matter of effort though. You’ll become very good at it out of sheer need if you genuinely want to keep up. In far better shape now than I was at 30, mentally and physically.
  - graemep 1mo ago
    I was nearly 40 when my younger daughter was born. No problem. Kids helped keep me fit.
- somenameforme 1mo ago
  100% on this. In my life I have 0 regrets except not having kids younger. I was never especially fond of kids, but it turns I out love my own more than I imagined possible, and have more fun with them I ever thought I would! I only wish we could have many more but given when we started, the odds of having more than 2 are very low. The amount of joy and life they bring to you and to your house is something you can't really appreciate until you've had them. To say nothing of the sort of fulfillment and life satisfaction they bring. My parent's goal was to get me to go to college. My goal for my kids is to teach them the importance of having kids early. The fact it might help in having a grandkid or two before I kick the bucket is just a wee bit of icing on that cake. I think the ideal time to start is probably in your 20s. This also maximizes the amount of time you'll get to spend with your kids. I'm quite 'jealous' (sans the negative connotations) of those who will get to see their kids live til retirement, but hey - they made wiser decisions, so hopefully I can help encourage my children to do the same.
  - WalterBright 1mo ago
    > I was never especially fond of kids, but it turns I out love my own more than I imagined possible, and have more fun with them I ever thought I would! That's because we're designed to have kids.
  - kakacik 1mo ago
    I for a change am happy I had my kids in late 30s / 40. I am certainly wiser, way more experienced with world, humans, got to be successful and in much better financial position which also helped my parents to have better retirement. I wasn't a full adult in my 20s, too naive, too trusting, undefined for the lack of better words, not experienced with various types of women (laugh all you want, this was probably the most important experience from all for me, it afterwards formed my choice of wife which is often the most important choice in one's life). Plus I've managed in a decade before having kids to travel the world backpacking, various experiences that changed me for the better and basically reinvented myself, on my own. I don't come from competitive or nurturing environment, nobody expected anything from me. I've found my passions in various mountain/extreme sports. None of that would happen if I had kids earlier, thats very clear when looking at peers who took the other trajectory. If my kids will have their kids young or older is completely up to them, I find it selfish to push any expectations on them, they (will) live vastly different life compared to me, I can just respect their choices and love them regardless.

reillyse 2mo ago

I find it funny that I spent my 20s and 30s doing everything in my power to avoid having kids and at this stage in my life I’m doing everything to have kids. I do feel that 30 year old me would definitely be in better shape to chase kids around.

voidmain0001 2mo ago
This. I’m an old dad. I realized two years ago that to keep up with my pre-teens I had to change my lifestyle. For me that meant cutting out alcohol, not eating processed foods, avoiding sugar, reduced caffeine, way more protein and doing calisthenics. I sleep well and I have energy. I just have to keep this up for 10 more years when my youngest will be 21, then I can die. ;-)
- computerdork 2mo ago
  Haha! Very interesting life goal - When your dependents have sucked all the life out of you, you can kick the bucket:) (And am sure it’s worth it)
  - Aeolun 2mo ago
    Rather sounds like they’ve given them their life back.
    - alansaber 2mo ago
      Exactly, good for them
    - computerdork 1mo ago
      Am not sure what your statement means? :) who is "them" and who is "their" in this?
      - voidmain0001 1mo ago
        I read it as “them” and “their” is the OP and “they’ve” are OP’s children.
  - WalterBright 1mo ago
    > When your dependents have sucked all the life out of you, you can kick the bucket:) Don't laugh, there's a reason for it. Read the book "The Red Queen" which explains all this.
    - le-mark 1mo ago
      Is this the teen novel or something else? Curios how a teen novel could address these issues?
      - WalterBright 1mo ago
        https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature/dp/0060556579/ https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature/dp/0...
    - computerdork 1mo ago
      Ah, think the commenter was joking around a bit > when my youngest will be 21, then I can die. ;-) which I thought was a funny way to put. But, am sure there is an evolutionary reason for dying after your children leave the nest. It's all good:)
- somenameforme 1mo ago
  Same here in almost all ways, except the caffeine. What was the benefit there? My hot pots keep me going. Once my wife hits menopause I might also consider TRT. I'm almost certainly not low by the standards of the average American, let alone for my age, but it's gonna keep falling as I age and wouldn't mind that extra oomph.
  - voidmain0001 1mo ago
    Previously, when my head touched the pillow I was asleep. Two years ago I noticed that wasn’t happening and I would wake frequently through the night. I cut back my caffeine intake and my restored my sleep. Without knowing the physiological reason I assume my metabolism is slowing down and I had to alter my lifestyle to fit to it, hence my strict diet now. The calisthenics has been awesome for me. I love the progression moves to unlock skills and levelling up. Pushing weights just to stack more plates wasn’t motivation for me - cali is. It replaces my caffeine. As for menopause, or more accurately, perimenopause, my wife has been in that for years. (She’s an old mom) She started HRT about 6 months ago and it has been amazing. She no longer wants to murder me or anyone else that irritates her.
    - somenameforme 1mo ago
      Yip peri is also where we're at right now. Still trying and hoping for another kiddo. Glad to hear it can last for years at least there's a bit more chance.
tedggh 2mo ago
There’s never a right time to have kids. But having them older has its perks. You are much more calmed, patient, you are wiser and likely financially stable. Throwing money at problems definitely makes life 10X easier when you have kids, something most people can’t do in their 20s or even 30s.
- sacul 2mo ago
  I disagree. As a father of nine children, I submit that the best time to have children is when you’re young. The next best time is now. Sure, you’ll be poor, and you’ll make lots of mistakes. But how do you know you’ll be able to have children later? And what’s so important now that makes it worth putting off children?
  - Aeolun 2mo ago
    You’ll feel poor anyhow. More money just means you want more. I’ll say there’s benefits to having a single child, but not nearly as many as there are to have multiple.
    - enos_feedler 2mo ago
      Explain this please.
      - alanwreath 1mo ago
        I mean: siblings. Not to discount that it’s great when you play with your kids, but it’s different when your kids play together, and in particular when you can’t play that they have someone to interact with.
        marttt 1mo ago
        Yeah, the group dynamics of, say, a family with two children: 1. Kid A plays with Kid B 2. Kid A plays alone and Kid B plays alone As compared to a three-child household: 1. Kids A, B and C play together 2. Kid A plays with Kid B, Kid C plays alone 3. Kid A plays with Kid C, Kid B plays alone 4. Kid B plays with Kid C, Kid A plays alone 5. Kid A, Kid B and Kid C all play alone So, in a bigger family, many more communication patterns between children can arise, which, among other things, might develop the child's empathy etc. Adding mom and dad as "players" would give us many more possible scenarios here (Kid A playing with mom, Kid B alone or with dad, etc). I'm a father of two with a low income, and I would like to have a third child for precisely the above described reason. As a sociologist in my country put it -- somewhat harsh words maybe, but probably largely true: a single child might get spoiled, two children may start competing too heavily, but three children and above is company.
testing22321 2mo ago
I was 41 when my daughter was born. I think it’s a great reason to stay for, strong and healthy. My goal is to keep up with her mountain biking, snowboarding and hiking for as long as I can. Hopefully I’ll be on the game well in my 60s and her 20s
- annzabelle 2mo ago
  My dad was 42 when I was born, and he was keeping up with me on hikes in my early 20s (his mid 60s). I haven't done much hiking with him lately, but he's going on 50 mile bike rides at 70. I think having kids late can help people stay young longer, if you let it.
Aeolun 2mo ago
> I do feel that 30 year old me would definitely be in better shape to chase kids around. Can confirm that starting at 30 makes it relatively easy to keep up. Still not early enough though. Wish I’d started at 25. It’s mostly a matter of effort though. You’ll become very good at it out of sheer need if you genuinely want to keep up. In far better shape now than I was at 30, mentally and physically.
- graemep 1mo ago
  I was nearly 40 when my younger daughter was born. No problem. Kids helped keep me fit.
somenameforme 1mo ago
100% on this. In my life I have 0 regrets except not having kids younger. I was never especially fond of kids, but it turns I out love my own more than I imagined possible, and have more fun with them I ever thought I would! I only wish we could have many more but given when we started, the odds of having more than 2 are very low. The amount of joy and life they bring to you and to your house is something you can't really appreciate until you've had them. To say nothing of the sort of fulfillment and life satisfaction they bring. My parent's goal was to get me to go to college. My goal for my kids is to teach them the importance of having kids early. The fact it might help in having a grandkid or two before I kick the bucket is just a wee bit of icing on that cake. I think the ideal time to start is probably in your 20s. This also maximizes the amount of time you'll get to spend with your kids. I'm quite 'jealous' (sans the negative connotations) of those who will get to see their kids live til retirement, but hey - they made wiser decisions, so hopefully I can help encourage my children to do the same.
- WalterBright 1mo ago
  > I was never especially fond of kids, but it turns I out love my own more than I imagined possible, and have more fun with them I ever thought I would! That's because we're designed to have kids.
- kakacik 1mo ago
  I for a change am happy I had my kids in late 30s / 40. I am certainly wiser, way more experienced with world, humans, got to be successful and in much better financial position which also helped my parents to have better retirement. I wasn't a full adult in my 20s, too naive, too trusting, undefined for the lack of better words, not experienced with various types of women (laugh all you want, this was probably the most important experience from all for me, it afterwards formed my choice of wife which is often the most important choice in one's life). Plus I've managed in a decade before having kids to travel the world backpacking, various experiences that changed me for the better and basically reinvented myself, on my own. I don't come from competitive or nurturing environment, nobody expected anything from me. I've found my passions in various mountain/extreme sports. None of that would happen if I had kids earlier, thats very clear when looking at peers who took the other trajectory. If my kids will have their kids young or older is completely up to them, I find it selfish to push any expectations on them, they (will) live vastly different life compared to me, I can just respect their choices and love them regardless.