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Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony
- Fronkled 4mo agoI created this account to convey my sincere gratitude. I needed to see this today and you've given me inspiration.
- vijucat 4mo agoI love such stories. Right now, a lot of folks I know are struggling to find jobs, so I read the part about how he got a job the first day he was out of jail with some astonishment and nostalgia for the simpler days, when showing interest was often enough to land the job! Now, hoop number 1, the AI resume filter, is a strange obstacle that one has to jump through first.
- zuzululu 4mo ago[flagged]
- stringfood 4mo ago[dead]
- ofjcihen 4mo ago[flagged]
- trumpdong 4mo agoWhy'd people downvote this? The minimum you need to be doing is pasting role descriptions and your résumé into ChatGPT and asking: should I hire this person? Because that's what every company's HR department is doing (automatically) and if the answer is no, then you may as well not bother sending the application. Or you could tweak it until it says yes.
- zuzululu 4mo agoI think earlier there were few HN users who didn't like my opinions on another thread, came here to flag and downvote my comments and leave rather mean replies all over my profile. I don't think much of it and I forgive people who do it. Or maybe there really are people who think its okay to use AI to hire/filter candidates but not when candidates use AI to optimize to get around that screen. Using AI, I've been able to land several interviews and work 3 jobs remotely currently without much effort.
- trumpdong 4mo agoHow did you do that? I don't get many interviews even after making sure AI likes my resume.
- zuzululu 4mo agoI applied to 1000 jobs over the year 17 interviews 5 offers I accepted 3 of them and work 16 hours a day. So thats roughly 5 hours of deep work per day. if I wasn't remote working then the extra 3~5 hours would've been spent on commute, figuring out where to eat, silly banters with coworkers or office politics and just non-essential stuff that anti-remote people advocate for. I would accepted all 5 if I could but its just impossible to fit more than 3 stand up meetings in different time zones. It's also tricky at times to manage schedule, you have to keep your work space segregated. So it's a combination of Resume strength (don't spend too much time on polishing it with AI as it can't replace experience) and market demand (really question if you have anything special) Don't get discouraged brother! I hope this can help you.
- buttercraft 4mo ago[flagged]
- zuzululu 4mo ago> because you wished death upon a member of this community in an earlier comment where did i say this ? this is getting weird now. can you please follow HN guidelines and keep discussions relevant ? https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
- xarope 4mo agopart of this I understand is survival. And I understand why you do this. The other part of this is why it's so frustrating for me to find the right person. Everybody's resume looks perfect for the role, and I have to waste 30-45 mins digging into their actual experience. You have done yourself a great disservice by wasting that time sitting in an interview you were not qualified for, and worse still I always feel there are other, more qualified people, who I have missed/passed over their resume since it wasn't AI tuned. Sincerely, I don't know how t make this better.
- zuzululu 4mo agoI understand your frustration and i hope to have a earnest discussion on this. One of the 3 jobs require hiring other developers. I don't find it difficult at all. I have my own intuition and technique I rely on. If you are wasting 30~45 minutes on a resume, you are probably chasing the wrong signals. It's not my fault. > You have done yourself a great disservice by wasting that time sitting in an interview you were not qualified for, and worse still I always feel there are other, more qualified people, who I have missed/passed over their resume since it wasn't AI tuned. How can I know if I meet the prospective employee's criteria or not before I do the interview? How am I to be held reliable for other people's failure to make themselves visible or your frankly your lack of skill at recruiment? It's convenient to blame AI for any shortcomings these days but if you don't know what you are doing, you were always going to reach for something external something imagined to deflect your own areas that need improvement.
- gavinray 4mo agoThe job market is rough. My wife went back to school for audio/sound design, finished the program + got a bunch of certifications. She's been trying to get anything, even an unpaid internship, doing sound design, going to local meetups, online conferences, and hasn't had much luck. But I told her: it's just a matter of persistence and time. If you're agreeable to be around, passionate about something, and just show up everyday, eventually something is likely to happen.
- Joel_Mckay 4mo agoWithout a portfolio it will be difficult. Would recommend joining a local film club, and get a few small projects done. Additionally, volunteer with local church events, or regular city music festivals. Also, could join the local union intake for the production studios. It will be awful until one gets the base hours completed, but it is a feast or famine kind of work schedule some can tolerate. Fine work if you are still a kid. Finding stuff online is usually a fools errand these days mostly due to "AI" data mining operations, or outright cons. Best of luck =3
- ChrisMarshallNY 4mo agoThe key, for me, was to get a computer. Once I had that, the world opened up. It allowed me to "get my hands dirty," and experiment, as well as build a portfolio. To this day, I have a large amount of public code. It's a habit that I've had, all my adult life.
- jzemeocala 4mo agoAs someone who has worked in the music sphere with many hats over the past few decades: her best shot is to get people talking about her, perhaps find some local musicians she likes and offer cheap\free recordings to fill in her portfolio and get that word of mouth started. Successful people in the music world (both on and off stage) HAVE to mingle with musicians (not other engineers) heavily to get noticed and recommended
- firesteelrain 4mo agoI applied to 100+ places in 2005. Took a job an hour from home for a year and half. Eventually found something closer to home. You take what you can find at the time until you find where you want to be
- an_d_rew 4mo agoThank you for sharing. Stories like yours remind us that there is good in the world, and even if it isn’t everywhere, it is still worth cultivating. I’m a software engineer née scientist, but my spouse is a therapist who specializes in addiction. They (and I!) cherish stories like yours because we had seen up-close the struggle that so many people face.
- gavinray 4mo agoThank you!!
- isamuel 4mo agoI’m curious (as a recovered alcoholic myself) how you got sober.
- gavinray 4mo agoI'll be honest, a lot of it was my wife. And also hitting my lowest bottom after becoming homeless and penniless. So a combination of looking at what I had done to myself + everyone around me and going "what the fuck." and my ever-vigilant wife who knew I had the capacity and desire to get better. For me it really took literally losing everything.
- stringfood 4mo agothe secret is to hate drinking and never drink
- ChrisMarshallNY 4mo agoThat would make sense, wouldn't it? "Just say no"? Sadly, it doesn't work. If you're an addict, you'll end up manifesting in one way, or many ways. Drugs aren't the only way that it expresses itself. I hate alcohol. I always have. The taste makes me sick. The best way to ruin a dessert, is to pour expensive booze on it. That didn't stop me from becoming a prize-winning lush, though. The thing about addiction, is that it just doesn't make sense. It can't be understood, when looked at, through a rational lens. That's a big reason that Recovery is difficult. It's also often badly supported by family members, who don't understand the mechanisms. But that's a long story, for other venues. I am happy to read his story, and sincerely wish him luck.
- stringfood 4mo agoI am recovering alcoholic and almost have two years sober but I can only imagine how hard it would be to quit if you loved alcohol, I hated it but was just physically addicted or something, just could not stop it was too fun, I have to use thc only now which has its own issues but will not affect my health in same way as alcohol did. Alcohol is too fun for me and hurts my family a lot
- gedy 4mo agoGood on him and shout out for Hasura as well, probably the most pleasant dev experience I had in past 10 years. It was so good, the startup I was at dropped it because CTO got scared that there was no work for the backend devs, ha.
- celdon25 4mo ago[flagged]
- gavinray 4mo ago> sobriety doesn’t guarantee that AI companies won’t kill off what’s left of your career You're being downvoted, but I'd be lying if I said I don't see that as a distinct (and logical) possibility. The ironic thing is, I work for one of those "AI Companies" ;^) Claude Code and Codex have done most of my work for the last year, and with the pace of AI improvement, I'm not sure that you'd need (or even want) me in the mix. From a business perspective, it makes a lot of financial sense, too. I'm sure it's a limited amount of time before I'm dead weight, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, and I'll figure something out if/when it happens =)
- celdon25 4mo agoMy lived experience doesn’t care what the downvotes say (many here are privileged, after all), and it is only a matter of time imo unless something is done about the industry to change course.
- girvo 4mo ago> unless something is done about the industry to change course There will be no change of course, sadly.
- himata4113 4mo agoI see karma as form of a currency to afford getting downvoted. I actually don't mind the downvotes especially when it's followed by a comment on why. Helps me see parts I've missed.
- tux3 4mo agoI wouldn't internalize that idea too much. In a lot of countries traffic fines are a fixed amount, so some people feel like they don't have to respect traffic rules since they can afford to just pay the fine. It's one way to process the negative feeling of being fined. But it doesn't really make the roads safer.
- tickerticker 4mo agoYour compassionate and honest story will, I hope, bear much fruit. You write well..very readable and engaging.
- arthurofbabylon 4mo ago“ No part of the prose was machine-generated. You will not find machine-written prose on this blog. I consider it deeply disrespectful.” <3
- khazhoux 4mo agoWriting articles by hand isn’t just smart— it’s important. No shortcuts. No filler. No excuses. Key insight: relying on AI for writing assistance helps neither the author nor the audience.
- antonvs 4mo agoIronically saying "isn’t just smart— it’s important" (complete with em-dash!) and "No shortcuts. No filler. No excuses." sounds very AI-generated. Not saying it is, just pointing out how messed up the world we live in now is. But... was it?
- zappb 4mo agoIt reads as clear ironic AI speak.
- dijksterhuis 4mo agoi have a feeling that the fp was being sarcastic / satirical.
- qingcharles 4mo ago"You're absolutely right for pushing back on that!"
- steve_adams_86 4mo agoBut, allow me to complete the sandwich.
- ramon156 4mo agoI want a "You're absolutely right to be upset!" printed on a shirt.
- lanewinfield 4mo agoThank you for sharing your story! I wish you continued success and I also hope that one day someone will share with you about how YOUR story helped them do something similar, just like the article did for you. Also, Preston Thorpe (who Gavin mentions as inspiration) has an interesting story as well: https://pthorpe92.dev/intro/my-story/ https://pthorpe92.dev/intro/my-story/
- gavinray 4mo agoAlso recommend folks check out Unlocked Labs, who run a prison program for this sort of thing. Jessica is an angel: https://unlockedlabs.org/ https://unlockedlabs.org/
- jcgrillo 4mo agoThank you for the link, and for sharing your story.
- stuartd 4mo agoThank you for that link. I recommend reading to the very last line.
- jbgt 4mo agoHow nice is that!
- himata4113 4mo agoI feel happiness reading stories like this. You proved to the world that you can become something great even when all the cards are stacked against you. I often feel despair when I think about where our society is heading, but there will always be people like you who are there to push back against all the wrongs in the world and make the best out of it.
- gavinray 4mo agoI'm glad! It sounds really corny, but someone once told me "The only thing you can choose in life is your attitude." Sometimes it felt like I'd never get a break, things wouldn't get better. But I tried to tell myself "Every occurrence in life is a numbers game. Against tiny odds, eventually enough attempts statistically OUGHT to pay off." And the alternative is bleak, sort of sulking in this pit of despair without hope for tomorrow.
- TZubiri 4mo ago"AI Use Disclaimer: claude code was used to generate the OpenGraph SVG image. No part of the prose was machine-generated. You will not find machine-written prose on this blog. I consider it deeply disrespectful." I really like this disclaimer, by disclaiming that a single small thing was done with AI, you make very credible and notable that you did not use LLMs for the important parts.
- ChrisMarshallNY 4mo agoThanks for sharing, Gavin. Can relate. Been 45 years, for me. Got my act together at 18, but before that...
- ProllyInfamous 4mo agoPlease don't get a motorcycle: A good felon buddy of mine has been out now for 4 years. He slowly built a car repair business, with steady clientele, and got his life back on track – including reasonable sobriety and a steady relationship. He and his girl would cruise around often, enjoying their newfound happiness. Last week he totaled his Harley and his body (destroyed bike, multiple broken bones). Total reset. He now gets PTSD whenever a Harley revvs by passing... physically cannot work. Please don't get a motorcycle.
- gavinray 4mo agoThat's horrible but also a stark reminder for how quickly life can change for any one of us...
- sergiotapia 4mo agoTrue but a motorcycle is basically 100% given that you will crash and have bad injuries.
- ProllyInfamous 4mo agoThere are old riders and there are bold riders... But somehow no old bold riders.
- windowshopping 4mo ago100% given? Lol
- embedding-shape 4mo agoIt's a risky activity, yes, but lets not forget metropolitan areas in other countries are shock filled with motorcycles and most people live their entire life without being involved in any majorly serious accidents.
- estearum 4mo agoYou mean scooters traveling <35mph surrounded by other scooters traveling <35mph E.g. the most common motorcycle in Vietnam is the 110cc Honda Wave with a top speed under ideal conditions of ~60mph. It literally would not be called a motorcycle in the US.
- madrox 4mo agoShoutout to the author. I don't think I've met you, but I'm proud of you. What you've done is not easy. Neither is talking about it. I've not had nearly the adversity of the author, but I do know a little bit about what it's like to have an alternative background that makes companies not want to take a chance on you. It motivates you to take advantage of the chances you're given. The first time someone gave me a job, I felt so utterly grateful that I worked twice as hard as most and complained half as much. You could cynically call that exploitation, but I didn't see it that way. When I came into a position to make my own hiring calls, I tried paying that forward, and I got some great employees from it. Arguably a couple duds as well, but I never regretted giving the chance. Shout out to Hasura as well, btw. I've encountered their leadership team a couple times and everything about them has screamed integrity. It did not surprise me to hear that they are part of this story.
- gavinray 4mo ago> When I came into a position to make my own hiring calls, I tried paying that forward, and I got some great employees from it. Arguably a couple duds as well, but I never regretting giving the chance. That is the most impactful thing you could have done, I'm sure you changed several peoples lives
- madrox 4mo agoThanks. At this point, I believe it's what I will look back on as my legacy. Software is ephemeral, but the people you build it with are what shape how you reflect on it.
- webhookSecret 4mo ago[dead]
- zuzululu 4mo ago[flagged]
- Catloafdev 4mo ago[flagged]
- stringfood 4mo agoI went to his profile and it's a pattern with him, low effort comments mixed with general rudeness
- ofjcihen 4mo agoGot flagged for pointing this out. He’s essentially telling this guy that he wishes he had been executed.
- zuzululu 4mo ago[flagged]
- Catloafdev 4mo ago[flagged]
- zuzululu 4mo ago[flagged]
- stringfood 4mo agoBy your own logic the man you 'commend' for turning his life around would be dead at 19 - every good thing he's done since, including the post you're replying to, exists only because nobody took your advice.
- zuzululu 4mo ago
- stringfood 4mo agoCongratulations on your sobriety!!
- Lapsa 4mo ago[dead]
- muragekibicho 4mo agoExtreme mental clarity in "Eventually, she told me that it made more sense for me to quit my job while she worked, so that I could spend all of my free time trying to get another tech job". I could've never imagined long-term-thinking like this from a former addict.
- Aurornis 4mo ago> I could've never imagined long-term-thinking like this from a former addict. I know a couple people who recovered from addiction (and lost a few who sadly couldn’t). They’re just people from all walks of life. There are a lot of stereotypes about addicts, but drug addiction can hit anyone. The first few people I knew who became addicts were actually from good families, were educated, had good career prospects, and were happy people. They thought addiction didn’t apply to them because they were too smart or happy or wealthy. In my opinion, those stereotypes made them more vulnerable to letting their guard down and thinking they were going to use the drugs smartly. Most of them are recovered now and back on track, minus a large chunk of their younger years and a trail of destroyed relationships and wasted opportunities. You wouldn’t peg them as former addicts, though. They’re just people.
- thisoneisreal 4mo agoI grew up solidly middle class, even went to a good private school. A couple of my friends got ripped off by an addict that ran in our social circle who had the same background. They couldn't find the person, but they were so angry that they looked up the parents' address and went to confront them, assuming they'd be like bad people or something or had failed to raise their kid right. Instead both parents were incredibly mild and apologetic, and basically said, "We don't know what happened to our child and where it all went wrong." My friends felt very ashamed, apologized and left them in peace. It's a really tragic thing, and it's not just a cliche that it can happen to anyone.
- tasuki 4mo agoI'm a parent. Is there really no useful prevention?
- qmr 4mo agoPowerful. Thank you for sharing. Had to look away to stop from tearing up in Panera a few times at the end. Sending this to my sister who has had struggles like this. She recently finished her BS and hopes to be an counselor or therapist after finishing her masters.
- judah 4mo agoThis was really encouraging to read. Appreciate the honesty and vulnerability. Keeo going, keep sober, and I hope your future stays bright.
- sam1r 4mo ago>>> I cut the article out and put it in a documents folder. Had to read this a couple of times, to let it sink in that he is cutting with scissors and placing this paper document in a manilla folder.
- jviotti 4mo agoYou are very brave in sharing all of this and you, as anybody else in your position, absolutely deserve a promising second chance. Keep rocking! Open source has changed the life of so many, from so many situations. We should be proud of our industry. Together we built something beautiful
- msteffen 4mo ago> The beginning of the end: The day I bought an Adderall from a classmate. When that amphetamine feeling kicked-in, it was as if life was perfect for the first time. I was happy, confident, felt I could do anything. You know, I had a similar experience, but in my case I got an appointment with a psychiatrist afterwards, described the experience in detail, was given a computer test, diagnosed with ADHD, and then given a prescription. (Also in my case, I learned Adderall doesn’t actually feel great or help you if you take too much). Take care of your kids. The war on drugs is stupid. Etc.
- mx7zysuj4xew 4mo agoPoor kid just had ADHD and his whole life got ruined tha is to backwards prohibition
- yesitcan 4mo agoSo this guy was buying fake MDMA and reselling it as actual MDMA? What a scum bag
- wallst07 4mo agoNo, try reading it again. "a legal "Research Chemical" with effects similar to MDMA (Methylone/bk-MDMA)" Someone that is quick to assume without reading could easily make this mistake.. there are my research chemicals that are not technically categorized and not MDMA. Read about Sasha to start https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Shulgin https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Shulgin
- gavinray 4mo agoYes, it was Methylone (and advertised as such, nobody cared as long as it worked). NBOMe was really popular in my town during my late teens as well for the same reasons. RIP Sasha, PiHKaL and TiHKaL were, stereotypically, staple books on my shelf during adolescence.
- yesitcan 4mo agoYes but if I’m buying MDMA, I don’t want to actually be consuming Methylone. Not sure why that’s hard to understand.
- victorkulla 4mo ago[flagged]
- jberryman_again 4mo ago(reviving an account this once to just say...) I've been lucky to work closely with Gavin at Hasura for years, and he is really a brilliant and versatile engineer, and is just a pleasure to work with. Great energy, down-to-earth, hilarious. If I had to assemble a "dream team" he would be on it for sure. Thanks for sharing this part of your story dude!
- gavinray 4mo agoThank you Brandon, you're a good bit more talented than me in my $0.02 but it's been awesome to work with you, too =)
- thinkingtoilet 4mo agoWell done, mate.
- mapassthebeans 4mo agoHad similarly unorthodox path to tech, albeit without the drug addiction or prison. 90s early internet/BBS punk rocker/computer nerd. Hated school angry. Dropped out to work as a bike messenger for 5 years before packing a bag and moving west randomly. Couldn't sit still. Rode freight trains around the country for a few months. Washed dishes and landscaped to cover my cheap rent till that fell thru. Discovered shop lifting. Covered food and beer stealing from local progressive grocery store chain. Stole goods to sell on CL to cover my rent. That scam went tits up and narrowly escaped serious charges after the head of loss prevention from a regional retailer caught up to me Was sleeping in the park--this was pre super meth/fentanyl crisis so street living was a bit more stable and low key. Didn't want to wash dishes or dig holes any more so looked around on CL. Found a small company trying to bootstrap a regional office for an established linux-related open source company. Worked for free / interned using a stolen laptop for a year or so while sleeping outside or couch surfing local punk houses. Eventually got hired on for s but stayed for a couple years and made many FOSS connections. Eventually left to join a well known FOSS-centered company that was fully remote. Told myself when I was young that I would never work in an office. ~15 years later and I never have ,but now work in bit tech, get paid too much, own a home and have a great family with kids who play at the same parks I used to crash at. We shop (and pay) at the same stores I used to crib from. I'm respected and tenured at my gig but Imposter syndrome still holds me back. Nobody I work with knows where I came from and thankfully have nothing incriminating that would block a background check
- whatever1 4mo agoLooking In retrospect, if you were a policy maker today how would you try to prevent the new generation for having to go through this (today your path likely would not be viable due to fentanyl).
- isityettime 4mo agoMaybe also worth asking what he's doing along those lines as a father. Probably some interventions are in reach for the state, and there are some other things that parents are best positioned to do. He might have some insight into both.
- Aeolun 4mo agoI feel like US is ridiculously hard on even low grade drugs. Half of my high school would have gone to prison in the US. Sending a 14 year old convicted of drug crimes anywhere but a location that will help them is bizarre. Sending them to a max security anything leaves me speechless.
- deleted 4mo ago[deleted]
- squibonpig 4mo agoYeah I feel like there's less discussion than I expected of how many different things had to be done utterly ass backwards wrong by society for this guy to have his downward spiral in the first place.
- lordsauce 4mo agoI apologize in advance for rambling. I never comment or post anywhere, but your post motivated me to share part of my story. I very much relate to the feeling that sharing can be too personal and too easy to misread. Thank you for sharing. It’s refreshing to see that there are people who will take a chance on you. Your story helps with the burnout of pushing through with little to no results and exponentially diminishing resources. I haven’t been so lucky, I joined a tiny startup in 2018 that shut down a year later, landed contract work in 2019 that was meant to convert into full-time, but was let go due to the pandemic right before converting. My most recent employer fired me on christmas of 2022. I had a falling out with friends because they wouldn’t refer me for any role including tech sales. My uni wouldn't consider me for a master's degree because my microprocessor architecture professor wasn't "comfortable" writing a rec letter despite me sitting front of class and getting an A, all while practically begging students to apply (all 2/2 people that applied got into the program). Even in grade school my 2nd grade teacher was fired for lying to my parents that I was underperforming in school and that I needed to get kicked out of the talented and gifted program and repeat the grade. I still don't know what to make of all of this. I haven’t been able to land phone screenings, let alone a first round interview anywhere. I am having a hard time getting minimum wage work due to being "over-qualified". I've been priced out of my hometown. I’ve completed web development, data science, and cloud infra bootcamps as a way to up-skill while also having a degree in electrical engineering. I would consider myself adaptable: I've worked in designing/improving electrical hardware, reverse engineering, web, mobile. I am first-gen American, grew up homeless, but received a world-class education. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on a blacklist somewhere, or if I need to fall further for something to finally click. I guess I’m just having a really long bad luck streak, so here’s to hoping something better is around the corner!
- OkayPhysicist 4mo agoHaving your friends refuse to refer you and a professor out-right reject a request for letter of rec reeks of there being more to the story. (More helpfully: when applying for job's you'd be called over-qualified for, just lie. Especially jobs that don't require a degree anyway, just leave it off the resume. Had to do that for a bit during the pandemic slump).
- alexgoodhart 4mo agoJust the kind of victim the system loves.
- mexicocitinluez 4mo agolol what?
- susiecambria 4mo agoAs others have said, thank you for sharing. Every time I read stories like this my heart hurts. And I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Every single time I read stories like this all my shit comes to the surface. Thank goodness for mental health professionals and prescription drugs. No matter how I feel about your experiences, I want to know more. I want others to feel like they can share with people who are ready to listen and be supportive however we can.
- jheriko 4mo ago[dead]
- akhilsinghcodes 4mo agoThank you for sharing your story! I wish you continued success. Hope you keep building and keep inspiring
- LAC-Tech 4mo ago[flagged]
- squibonpig 4mo ago[flagged]
- richeasymode 4mo agoSee how easy it was to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
- dools 4mo agoI know a guy who bankrupted multiple businesses and is 34 time convicted felon and adjudicated rapist and he’s gone on to become president … don’t let your past control your future! /s
- incompatible 4mo agoSure, if you are in the same situation with access to loads of money and good connections, the sky's the limit.
- ry-grah 4mo agothese are my favorite stories from HN. similarly, i loved the story of the guy who got busted for running an illegal sports streaming site and was able to build himself back up. hats off to you for your sobriety
- qnleigh 4mo agoIs a success story line this still possible with coding assistants, or do they basically pull up the ladder that this guy climbed? I don't have enough insight into the job market right now to know.
- gavinray 4mo agoI'll be honest -- if the pace of AI improvement continues at the current rate, I'm not sure I'll have a job in a few years' time. Right now, the reason why you need humans in the loop is because you need someone with deep domain expertise and understanding of the particular nuances and architectural history behind a software product. The reasons LLM's can't do this job currently is not an INHERENT limitation -- it's a technical one around context window limits and documentation. There will always be people who don't want entirely autonomous development (who do you blame/fire when things go wrong) though. I realize that it's not PRACTICAL advice, but I really do think if building software is what you're INTERESTED in, you should still give it your best try. You spend the majority of your experienced life at work. Doing something you don't want to do, or find uninteresting, for most of your life (even though for many people this is the case) is a depressing and bleak prospect. You may as well spend your time and energy trying to do something you like, because you're sort of stuck with it.
- Vaslo 4mo agoAs a libertarian right leaning guy I opened your story with pessimism but I really enjoyed it and greatly appreciated the personal responsibility you took in your situation. People should be inspired by this - it’s precisely because of personal responsibility that you are so successful.
- mexicocitinluez 4mo ago> it’s precisely because of personal responsibility that you are so successful. No it's not. It's absolutely not personal responsibility that gets people through addiction. And if you read the entire article, this should stand out: > I don't tell this story because I think it is clean, heroic, or universally applicable -- It isn't. I made TERRIBLE choices. I hurt people who loved me. I wasted chances that other people would have killed for. And even when I finally started doing the right things, I still needed luck, help, timing, forgiveness, and people willing to judge me by what I could do next instead of only by what I had done before. That doesn't sound like personal responsibility that sounds like having people around you that stick around even after you mess up. I've been an addict for over 20 years (and spent the last 10 clean). I've been in close to a dozen treatment centers. What set me apart from the others (and why I technically "made" it) had very little to do with me. What set me apart was having an insane support system and grace from people who loved me.
- gavinray 4mo agoI think it's a bit of a mix of both. I could not have climbed out of the hole I dug on my own, that I am almost CERTAIN of. At the same time, if I had felt as though I were owed "more", and indignant about being "wronged", I think it would have made me slightly vindictive and less-positive. To me, "Libertarianism" is about the power of personal-effort and opportunity. Not everything will pan out if you "just try hard and long enough", but at least THINKING it will (even if you know it's unlikely) feels like a better mindset to me than the alternative.
- anthonylevine 4mo agoI was commenting too much, and thus can't reply with the same account, but I wanted to say I do agree with the fact that while you can't control what happened to you in the past (and maybe even what led you to drugs in the first place), your addiction is yours and having a victim-complex (warranted or not) is pretty detrimental to getting clean. I was pretty fortunate in that while I may not have had the picture perfect childhood, my family was always there for me and in no way shaped my decisions to use. So even if I wanted to feel like a victim, I'd get snapped out of it pretty quickly. When I look back at what set me apart from most others (I've been in numerous treatment centers, jails, and hundreds of NA meetings), the one thing that stood out to me the most was my support system. Others probably had a greater desire or more to lose, but because desire alone isn't enough, didn't always make it through. One example, my mom would drive hours each weekend to come visit me in treatment. That just didn't exist for the others I was there with.
- forkit 4mo agoIs programming underrated art form when it comes to helping people come out of such situations? Addiction or depression. It easier to get paid, you can be in a flow state for hours. Enough to forget about other addictions. and less likely to be high always while programming
- mexicocitinluez 4mo agoNot really. I'm a recovering addict, felon, and have depression (lucky me). And though there were times where I could work an entire weekend without stopping, it was always followed by 2-3 days of doing absolutely nothing because I was so dope sick/depressed. The worse my addiction got, the shorter the "flow" period and the longer the recovery period took.
- gavinray 4mo ago> and less likely to be high always while programming It depends on the drug. If you're an amphetamine/meth addict (or other designer stimulants), you very well might be coding for days on end. I certainly was. It will even get to the point where you feel dependent on them to focus and "get things done", like being sober is a handicap.
- chadhutchins10 4mo agohave you been able to reconcile with your parents? thank you for sharing
- gavinray 4mo agoI love this question! Because yes, this one has a happy ending =) I had estranged my mother, didn't really talk to my adoptive father, and purposefully kept my maternal grandparents (who I am closest with) in the dark because I didn't want them to see me like this. I also have 3 much younger sisters, who I didn't talk to for the same reasons as the grandparents. I've made a HUGE effort to reconnect and make amends with my family. I'm on good terms with my parents and talk to both of them regularly, I explained to my grandparents after I got sober and visit them at least once a year, and I reconnected with my siblings who I now text regularly and we host a "sibling trip" where we get together over a weekend once each year. I am very grateful that they saw my efforts and gave me a second chance. My oldest sister in particular was very wary.
- sfblah 4mo agoI do think AI will eliminate software as a life path for folks like this.
- cat-snatcher 4mo agowtf xd
- tom86150 4mo ago[dead]
- gregorvand 4mo agothanks for sharing, Gavin. I'm sure this alone will help open doors for many others.
- regularmother 4mo agoThanks for sharing this story and congratulations on finding a way back up. So many people never do. > people willing to judge me by what I could do next instead of only by what I had done before I think this is a really tragic take so common in the United States. It feels like, at least to me, that societal trust has broken down so much that people are broadly unwilling to take a chance on anyone. Jail is supposed to mean you paid your debt to society. It's supposed to say 'okay, you've made a mistake, have had time to ruminate on it, now go forth and prosper.' It's not retribution or vengeance, or at least it shouldn't be - especially for non-violent crimes. I'm truly glad you were fortunate and strong enough to climb out. I wish that this was a more common story.
- gavinray 4mo agoI will not get started on the US Criminal "Justice" system. I could write a book on the horrors I saw in there. We need a bigger emphasis on rehabilitation. It ultimately costs LESS for society. I can also tell you from my 3 years in prison + jail that the grand majority of people in there do not have the innate desire or intention to change. But for the small percentage that do, they deserve the resources and opportunity.
- deadlocked 4mo agoThis is a great story, thanks for sharing. I have to know: how is your (now wife) doing?
- gavinray 4mo agoThank you for asking. I didn't want to disclose it publicly, but when we met she was in a very bad place in life and actually had a planned suicide date. It wasn't until years later she told me this. We were able to send her back to university a second time to study something she is passionate about; she has a great support network of friends and (my) family. (Her family are drug addicts and gang members, so my family has sort of adopted her. It's a bit sad but none of her family were invited to our wedding.) She's unemployed, but she's trying, and she says she never imagined that she could be so lucky in life.
- 13hours 4mo agoMany very interesting stories here of people that took similar paths. As the parent of a teenager that used to be an absolute model student, but recently (last year) started rebellious behaviour, tanking their academics with it, I'm curious how many with similar stories think they would have or could have taken a different path with better or different parental support? We're trying our very best to support and guide without shaming. The difficult part is the influence of friends, specifically a boyfriend, that were convinced led to much of this. Forbidding the relationship is not going to have the right effect. So we're trying to manage it with rules to try and prevent the opportunity to make bad decisions. And talking a lot about honesty, values and respect. There's still respect in our relationship, and I feel that's the key for us to be able to support her.
- deleted 4mo ago[deleted]
- gavinray 4mo ago> I'm curious how many with similar stories think they would have or could have taken a different path with better or different parental support? I'm sorry to hear about your kid. I'll be honest with you: it depends almost wholly on their disposition when it comes to reinforcement style. I only respond to extreme, repeated negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement never did anything for me. If your child responds to positive reinforcement in any way, there's a good chance you can support them through it. But if they're like me, they may "only learn the hard way." And I don't mean negative reinforcement as in physical punishment or being talked down to, but having to live through direct negative consequences of your action. Sometimes I think "what if I could go back in time, and tell myself not to do XYZ", but I know myself well enough that I'm sure I would not listen. I sincerely hope that things pan out for your family. If you want the nuclear option, can you move away from the current environment? If they're young enough not to have a car, that's one way to at least guarantee a "fresh start" where they can't actively go down the current path. They'd need to find a new way into trouble, which is still wholly possible but requires more effort at least.
- le-mark 4mo ago
- anthk 4mo ago>I was a model student up until around puberty and middle school. Then, I think a combination of being bullied for being overweight and teenage hormones, led me to be just the wrong combination of resentful, angry, unhappy, and rebellious. Myself, but I was just depressive until I got a PC, then I became a half-Hikkikomori until by brain exploded and seeked some nice metalheads around. Logos/God/whatever bless that guy who gave me a Glam Rock/Metal CD at age 19/20, it changed my life a little for the good. Metal and computers saved my life. Except that I'm still unemployed even if I did tons of stuff after the advance trade (basic OOP Java/C# courses, Lisp, a bit of Docker and such...) I even did some pre-college Math (calculus, discrete Math...) but no luck. Living and growing up in Spain sucks because almost no one would believe you that people can be a self-apprentice, here people it's very social-bounded (X does course-> Y joins it too). That's it. My mentality it's more Atlantic than Mediterranean and I always had tons of conflcts.
- jdw64 4mo agoHow can someone get up in such a difficult situation? That's impressive
- wallst07 4mo agoSurvivorship bias... many people don't, the stories of the few that do are impressive and worthy of hearing.
- gavinray 4mo agoThis is true. It requires a combination of luck, support, and persistence. You can help cultivate "luck" to a degree by increasing your number of experiences. Every person you happen across could be the one to change your life, and every job application could be the one that calls you back. You never know who is standing next to you in line. And "support" you can tilt in your favor by trying to be a genuinely good person and being pleasant to be around + making others feel good. Humans gravitate towards people that they like being around.
- gavinray 4mo ago> How can someone get up in such a difficult situation? The alternative is even bleaker
- rapnie 4mo agoAs a kid I read the book "Montyn" [0] that made a deep impression on me, about Jan Montyn who fled a strict Calvinistic upbringing to join the German army in WWII and found himself in all the big battles near the end of the war, to ultimately make a career as an artist in The Netherlands. I was reminded of the book when I recently watched the origin story [1] of the Differentbreed TV channel on youtube that gives attention to the trench war in Ukraine. The channel owner went from serious alcohol addiction while working in a liquor store, to going in a coma when deciding to go cold turkey. And then a journey to almost becoming a policeman, then a firefighter, and deciding based on training and certifications gained there, to become a combat medic in Ukraine. Then fought in the International Legion and Azov brigade. And then settle in Ukraine running the channel, and be involved in all kinds of activities that help the defense of the country. Very interesting to hear the story told from first-hand experience. [0] https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/montyn_dirk-ayelt-kooiman/3291193/#edition=33232366&idiq=61548811 https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/montyn_dirk-ayelt-kooiman/3291... [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2mDNmlkJZQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2mDNmlkJZQ
- firesteelrain 4mo agoNot following how that is relevant to the article at hand?
- rapnie 4mo agoBuilding from zero after addiction, to picking up a career and find a new purpose in life.
- tomaytotomato 4mo agoNice story, I don't personally agree with your choices but you are now back on the straight and narrow, big kudos to you and your wife.
- maddmann 4mo agoAmazing sorry — thanks for sharing
- baskduf 4mo agoGood idea
- hackrmn 4mo agoDamn, tough reading about the 1 week deadline for finding work, then getting one after telling them you're jailed and them taking the chance on you. I also found the article written so well (I suppose we don't encounter native English speakers in the blogosphere as much as we think we do), that it was a joy to read, if I can say so considering the subject matter.
- deleted 4mo ago[deleted]
- eyrarric 4mo agoMy son Nicolas also followed a similar path. Sadly, he didn’t survive one of these ‘holes’ at 22. We shared a deep connection and had open, challenging conversations right up until he passed away, but it wasn’t enough... Can I be incredibly selfish and asked you something he might say to me had he been able to navigate these turbulent waters. Miss you Nico.
- gavinray 4mo agoHe would tell you that he's sorry he let you and everyone else around him down. That he didn't get to fix the bridges he burned, and mend the people he hurt. That every time he came down from his high and was lying in bed unable to sleep, the guilt was like an ocean devouring him. That tonight would be the last time he would ever touch anything. That he wanted to stop, knew he should stop, but when you wake up sweating & shaking all logic leaves your mind and the only thing you can think of is where to get more. That it's not your (or anyone else's) fault, you did nothing wrong, and quite probably everything right. Some of us are just born with demons on our shoulder that won't stop whispering in our ear. He would tell you of all the the plans he had come up with over the years, to make up the lost time with you and the rest of his loved ones. Doing things that YOU want to do, just to make you happy, because he had been selfish enough and you were owed at least that much. That when things were their darkest, and he felt his lowest, one of the few saving graces and safe havens in his mind were the times he spent with you, before he fell into this pit of darkness. --- I am, genuinely, sorry to hear that. Not in a "my condolences way", but in a grief-ridden and deeply personal way. I lost my father and several of my closest friends to fentanyl. I know your grief. I know the feeling of anger that also gives you guilt, that they should have robbed the people that loved them most of the opportunity to experience them, and robbed themselves of the bright future they were capable of having. Nothing I, or anyone else says, can make it any better. I shed tears while writing this. Nico mourns for you as much as you mourn for him.
- throwaway87330 4mo agoI'm going to be a bit insensitive, sorry. I've read many similar stories, in nearly all of them a couple of helpful friends always show up to save the day. I find it absurd that some people consider this zero. I too was bullied during all my childhood, I haven't had a single friend in my life, I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something. Having someone to rely on sounds luxurious to me. My life has been a series of rejections. Apart from that I was always healthy, able to provide for myself, but I don't have a story. Somehow I feel like that if I could start a new life, I would choose one like this guy's rather than relive mine.
- gavinray 4mo ago> I haven't had a single friend in my life > I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something > My life has been a series of rejections It's true, I had a lot of help, and that's not universal. I'm going to say this, and I mean it genuinely, so please do not find this insensitive: What if you went to lunch with someone, and the first things they said to you were those 3 quotes at the top? You'd probably much rather hear something like: > I haven't had much luck making friends, YET > In the past, I've not been very good at asking others for help, and sometimes I get afraid if I did, they might not give it > I've been through a lot of hardships, SO FAR Even if we don't say things out loud, our mental states and attitudes are clear as day to others around us. You can tell when someone is upset, or having a bad day, without ever speaking to them. One of the most impactful things a mentor once told me is: > "We are the stories we tell ourselves." Look at the story you tell yourself today, in those quotes above. I want to genuinely ask you, to give "telling yourself a different story" a try. You might be surprised at how well you can "fake it 'til you make it!" Sorry to hear that life has been a struggle for you and that you've not had a good support system to aid you. But it doesn't have to stay that way -- every day you live & breathe is an opportunity to start the first chapter of a very different story...
- throwaway87330 4mo agoI appreciate your comment. Again, I'm sorry for venting. I was triggered, but didn't mean to downplay your experience. I found that opening up to people about deep personal issues makes them steer clear even faster.
- vincent232 4mo ago[flagged]
- nunez 4mo ago> Working at Techtonic was the best possible early-career experience I think anyone could have had. They did contract development, a lot of which was greenfield Saas MVP launches, across various tech stacks. There was not a lot of time for mentorship so it a very "trial-by-fire" experience -- either figure things out and ship stuff, or get the boot. I *always* tell older people looking to switch into tech to start at agencies/contracting firms for this reason. They are much more likely to hire people without experience, invest in your training (even if it's training by fire), and because they are usually heavy cert-driven, they'll pay for certs as well. It doesn't pay well, and the work can be brutal (nights and weekends; on-call) but it's a great way to get the experience needed to get the job that does if you're starting from zero.
- embedding-shape 4mo agoOn the other hand, people with that sort of experience tend to have the worst instincts when it comes to actual maintenance and long-term development of projects. They're great at starting projects, and fast too, but rarely considers the design carefully enough so you don't need a full rewrite once every year just to continue being able to add features. Slow is fast in those cases, and the people who are experts in "greenfield SaaS MVP launches" basically operate with short-term expedience traded for long-term maintainability. Not to say they cannot learn that, but worth being aware if you're building something long-term and does hiring for that sort of project, to be upfront that the development process will likely be very different compared to what they're used to.
- diamondap 4mo agoHa! I started my career in a company where I had to pump out custom web apps as fast as humanly possible. The apps were successful, and then I had to maintain them for several years. That's where the real learning occurred. I learned the cost of every one of my shortcuts and poor design decisions the hard way. Many years ago, some famous developer said, "Always write your code as if the person who's going to maintain it is a violent psychopath who knows where you live." As I fixed my poor design choices one by one over endless late nights, I sometimes felt the anger of a violent psychopath toward the former, ignorant me who had stupidly plagued current me with all these problems. When you learn the hard way, you know exactly why good design decisions are considered good. In later jobs, one of my fundamental goals for every new project was "I never want me or anyone else to have to answer a 3 a.m. call about why this system isn't working."
- nunez 4mo agoThis was a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I'm glad you found a way out; most people don't.
- solomonxiexie 4mo agoI appreciate you for the absolute honesty and having the brave heart to share your entire life story without holding anything to the entire internet. Oh man, this really got my tears out: > she told me that it made more sense for me to quit my job while she worked, so that I could spend all of my free time trying to get another tech job. So she alone carried us for several months. That reflects how many people's experiences, especially in this job market.
- rubyevans109 4mo ago[dead]
- maxjackson92 4mo agoHe mentions Preston Thorpe as inspiration, but I'd argue his story is even harder. The juvenile prison at 14 stuff is a different level.
- jackson281 4mo agoI wonder how many more people in tech have those felony records but just never talk about it. The Preston Thorpe mention makes me think there's a whole underground network.