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We had/have a lot of reservations about it too, and discussed it at length with our pediatrician over months of observation. We decided what was more horrifying
by robertakarobin 11mo ago
We had/have a lot of reservations about it too, and discussed it at length with our pediatrician over months of observation. We decided what was more horrifying was hearing a 7-year-old — who has supportive family and friends, good health, no traumatic events, no major life changes going on, never worries where food/shelter is coming from — say he feels like "he shouldn't be on Earth anymore" and suddenly react with extreme physical anxiety to almost everything. It was bad enough that he couldn't really implement any of the coping skills he learned in therapy. His therapist hoped that medication would bring him to a baseline where he was able to benefit more from therapy. My family's historical success with Prozac also made the decision more palatable since depression appears to be hereditary.
There has been a phenomenal positive shift in his behavior since he started medication. All that said, another commenter pointed out that the study specifically says that Prozac is no better than placebo for depression, which is similar to but distinct from anxiety, which is what my son is being treated for. My mom and I were both diagnosed with depression, but anxiety may be more accurate -- I'm not sure.
- jacobgkau 11mo agoI'd be more interested in where your 7-year-old even learned phrases like "I feel like I shouldn't be on Earth anymore."
- robertakarobin 11mo agoYes, us too. Beats us. Sure wasn't around our house, and we can't imagine any family/friends/TV/whatever he may have learned it from.
- deleted 11mo ago[deleted]
- pizzafeelsright 11mo ago[flagged]
- Braxton1980 11mo ago"why do you feel sad about your girlfriend broke up with you, it happens all the time and you'll probably find someone else" Attitude
- djtango 11mo agoI can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not but that is kind of the truth. A breakup is horrible, in its worst case it is similar to an untimely death and can come with grief and maybe even worse because the person is still alive and in your life so you're reminded by their absence even deeper and could experience jealousy, and the drip feed of interaction can elongate the time it takes you to move on with your life and find the person who is more right for you. But while the sadness is real and shouldn't be ignored or suppressed, wallowing is unhelpful and you ought to move on with your life - just like if someone close to you dies, the deceased most likely would want you to be happy and continue living a good life and move on.
- robertakarobin 11mo agoObjectively you're right, but I hope you think twice before saying to someone who has experienced a tragedy, "You need to move on." Similarly if you're in an argument with a friend or loved one and they are upset I hope you think twice before saying "You need to calm down" or, "You're overreacting." Objectively those may all be correct, but they are unhelpful, and are likely to have the opposite effect. They minimize the weight of the emotions. Most of us cannot just turn emotions on and off, much as we try and wish we could.
- konmok 11mo ago> Depression is caused by laziness and anxiety by hopelessness. I wish this were true, but its not even close. I wonder how your kids will react when they move away, and you're not around to police their emotional expression. If they're like me, they will promptly collapse into paralysis and self-destruction. I strongly suggest that you frequently give your kids long stretches of time (months) to practice regulating themselves, without your interference. And if they have anxiety or depression, please let them see a professional. If my parents had noticed the signs earlier, they would have saved me decades of pain.
- lawlessone 11mo agoIt sounds to me how a someone would describe feeling suicidal when they don't know the word for it.
- pinkmuffinere 11mo agoYa, when I'm sad I can come up with pretty creative language to express it. It does feel really tough to know that a seven year old feels like that :(
- throw-the-towel 11mo agoCome on, 7 year olds should have already learned to form phrases.
- incr_me 11mo agoNo, you see, this phrase must have appeared in his training set.
- skywhopper 11mo ago[flagged]
- georgeburdell 11mo agoI’m with you on this. Granted my oldest is only 5, but anything profound my kids say can be traced back to something they heard
- drekipus 11mo agoTeachers / schools / mandatory privilege education
- phatskat 11mo agoYou seem to have a pretty narrow view of the world, especially about “privilege education.” FWIW I’ve never once heard anything about “white people bad” from my kiddo, about 10. It’s also impossible to to talk about idk Columbus, slavery, Great Britain, or the founding of America (and like ya know, the treatment of native Americans) without ascribing some blame to the people responsible…who were by and large “white”. We also talk about how any judgement based on skin, appearance, gender, ethnicity, or religion, is flat out wrong.
- fn-mote 11mo ago7 year olds are second graders in school. They are exposed to plenty.
- drekipus 11mo ago[flagged]
- robertakarobin 11mo agoWith both my kids in 2nd grade and my wife also a public 2nd grade teacher, I consider myself pretty aware of what kids are being taught these days. They certainly are being gradually introduced to some of the problems of the world, but I think childhood development experts would all agree that's healthy. As for them being told they're the source or victim that's hardly the case. I'm sure there are a few isolated incidents that right-wing media love to bang on about, but not the experience for most.
- drekipus 11mo ago> but I think childhood development experts would all agree that's healthy. Could it be that we think it's healthy because we can just give meds to the kids that it affects? How would someone even have the ability to say "it's healthy" - I'm struggling to think how it comes about. I think it's healthy for my kids to cry about a worm dying in the garden, but anything less than "anxiety about a dying planet"... Put it another way: climate change messaging IS totally about anxiety and putting human as the cause, so we can (as adults) change our habits and save the planet. Could it be too much for kids though?
- robertakarobin 11mo agoAt what age will you permit your kids to leave the walled garden you've created for them?
- drekipus 11mo ago
- s5300 11mo ago[dead]
- holden_nelson 11mo agoHe learned it from being on Earth? And noticing that some people who used to be on Earth aren’t anymore? And it dawning on him that he doesn’t have to be either?
- victorbjorklund 11mo agoNot sure about you but I didn’t learn my native language phrase by phrase only. You learn the individual parts and concepts and construct sentences from that.
- throwaway314155 11mo agoAs someone with bad mental health since I was ~5 and parents who refused to acknowledge it - I think you're making the right decision. There is however also benefit in updating your priors as new research comes out. I won't say this particular research discounts your experience. But maybe some day your son will prefer a different medication.
- rsyring 11mo agoYou seem to be handling the naysayers pretty well. But, still wanted to compliment you for sharing and encourage you not to let them get to you. It sounds like you made a wise decision given your personal and family history and your son is benefiting. Kudos.
- deleted 11mo ago[deleted]
- Yodel0914 11mo agoI was one of those “medicating kids is a terrible idea” people, until I had kids with severe generalised anxiety. It took a lot to convince me to try it, but it made their lives better in such an obvious, immediate way. The whole experience made me a lot more humble about opinions I hold without relevant experience.
- robertakarobin 11mo agoIt's important to remember that not being a "medicating kids is a terrible idea" person doesn't mean one is a "every medication is a great idea" person. I'm probably like most people where in a perfect world I wouldn't medicate at all, and treat unfamiliar medications with some skepticism. But also I accept that I'm not (and am not interested in being) a medical expert, so if there is a medical need that I can't handle myself I'll take the advice of a clinician who has earned my trust with good reasoning.
- tempestn 11mo ago> The whole experience made me a lot more humble about opinions I hold without relevant experience. I wish there were a way to shortcut this process for society so that so many people didn't need to either go through a similar experience personally to have such an epiphany, or worse, never have it at all. (Speaking not only about medication for kids, but other polarizing issues as well.)
- deleted 11mo ago[deleted]
- burner420042 11mo agoI appreciate your candor in this. A respectful and on-going discussion and dialogue about this subject is really the best way forward for us all.
- gnulinux996 11mo ago[flagged]
- robertakarobin 11mo agoSuicidal ideation at 7 years old is not normal kid behavior, neither is sudden and unprecedented paralyzing anxiety over the prospect of ordinary things like going to a friend's birthday party or trying a new playground. Me and my mom are on identical doses of Prozac to treat very similar symptoms. We consulted with a child therapist, a pediatrician, and a psychiatrist.
- collingreen 11mo agoYou are shockingly patient and nice to these people who are going out of their way to be judgmental jerks. Kudos to you; you're inspiring me to find more grace in my life, but don't feel obligated to respond to these people who are trying only to bring people down.
- phatskat 11mo ago> You are shockingly patient It’s the Prozac, obviously /s It really does take a lot to be able to deal with all the comments they’re getting, and I know from my own experience that once you’re living a life of both seeing and experiencing struggles with mental health, it becomes something you adapt to rather quickly.
- rfrey 11mo agoDid you stop reading before he described the extensive consultations with the pediatric psychologist?
- hajile 11mo agoThe solution for suicidal thoughts is a drug known to induce suicidal thoughts? You said elsewhere that there were "no known long-term side effects". Aside from that not being universally true for any drug I've ever personally researched, no side effect is more long-term than suicide.