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The correct response is to stand your ground and say "No, I'm trying to connect a hurt child with their parents. Are you their parent? If not, we'll cut this fa

The correct response is to stand your ground and say "No, I'm trying to connect a hurt child with their parents. Are you their parent? If not, we'll cut this favor short and just call child services". Then do it. Call 911, say there's an injured, unattended child at the playground, and you're getting a hostile response from folks as you try to locate the guardian so you'd appreciate it if a social worker collected the kid until the parents can be found. There is nothing illegal about speaking to a child, and when you soft play people like this you empower them. Let them have to show a cop a DL to get their kid out a squad car to learn their lesson if they can't handle polite help. (Also, what is this narrative around HN about being accused of nefariousness at playgrounds? I used to eat my lunch at one near me because it was the only park with a trash can nearby and I didn't want to lug my trash back to my apartment before going on my way towards the city -- nobody ever said a word to me aside from asking for a ball if it rolled over.)

true_religion 1y ago
I agree with this statement. While it's not 'your job' to save the child, if you've already started along the path, you might as well see it through to the end. If you never found the child's parents, you'd have to call CPS. Being prevented from finding the child's parents, just necessitates you move that step forward. Of course, it's not 'your job' so technically you could abandon the child at any point but it does feel a bit heartless to give a kid hope, then say 'meh you're on your own, this is too troublesome'. As for just leaving the child with others who are complaining, I doubt that's a good idea. They were making no move to help, and bystander effect will probably keep them from ever doing a thing.
- dingnuts 1y ago
  This response may be practical but it's sad and indicative of the problem at hand. Society is so distrusting and litigative that the sensible way to help a child is to call the cops?? those ACAB guys that kill dogs? I'm not even saying you're wrong necessarily, but the whole situation is fucking cooked. How do we learn to trust each other again?
  - winwang 1y ago
    I find it ironic that you talk about distrust but then use ACAB, which I assume means "all cops are bad" (cursory googling).
    - krageon 1y ago
      Cops experience professional deformation. Most of the other humans they see at work have been bad or have been involved in something bad. This eventually has an effect on anyone. It's not a good effect. They start to expect it in other people, they start to assume the only folks they can trust are the ones they usually see doing the "right" thing (other cops). This turns them into bad people. The effects only get more pronounced in a society where literally every lunatic could have a gun and could therefore murder you at the drop of a hat. Trusting a strange situation will mean your death, eventually. It's inevitable. This is therefore not a matter of distrust, because you don't need faith or trust to know certain things about the transformative effect this would have on people. They live under mortal threat every second they're outside in uniform. They're going to be monstrous.
      - orwin 1y ago
        Exactly. I've worked for cops (taking care of police orphans/half orphans) for three summers when I was younger. They're ultimately good guys (well, as good as any random guy is, not worse not better) but their experience of the society turns them into distrustful, clanic semi-sociopaths. The fear of other people reactions is ingrained. The one that marked me is that they were afraid of local teens chatting up with our teens and learning they were police children, and passed that fear to all kids by saying extremely weird and violent shit they probably believed, but were ultimately lies. They wanted the children, most of them orphans, to avoid talking to regular kids outside of the camp, and lie if they did. Not bad guys inherently, but clearly fucked up by their job.
nkrisc 1y ago
Involving the police in that situation would be an insane and risky escalation. The girl has a cold, anti-social caregiver/parent. That's sad, not illegal. There were zero reasons to involve the police. What happens when we call the police and the woman lies and says one of us was groping the child and her friends corroborate her lie? I'm not taking that risk. Don't try to out-crazy a crazy person. That's not a game I'm going to play.
- firefax 1y ago
  >Involving the police in that situation would be an insane and risky escalation. The girl has a cold, anti-social caregiver/parent. That's sad, not illegal. That's factually incorrect.
  - HDThoreaun 1y ago
    There is nothing illegal about ignoring your kid while they cry on the playground.
- BeFlatXIII 1y ago
  Sic the cops on the crazy person and let nature happen.
- 15155 1y ago
  > What happens when we call the police and the woman lies The recording device in my pocket comes into play, and afterwards my attorney seeks damages and fees.
  - martin-t 1y ago
    I hate that we live in a world where this feels like a remotely sane question but do you use an analog or digital device? Because these days with anything digital there's a risk of the other side claiming it's a genML fake. Are there analog recorders with an "infinite" loop of tape so you get automatic overwriting without manual intervention?
ploxiln 1y ago
> Are you their parent? If not, we'll cut this favor short and just call child services". > Then do it. Call 911, say there's an injured, unattended child at the playground, and you're getting a hostile response from folks as you try to locate the guardian That is the same thing, though! ... very quickly escalating a probable mundane situation to very serious accusations! I'm the father of a 3 year old daughter, who I take to the playground multiple times per week. This is in Brooklyn, NYC. I haven't had any issues. But I believe the horror stories, there are just a sufficient number of crazy people out there, overly concerned "karens", or reddit warriors, or whatever. People overly confident in their judgement based on a cursory one-sided description of events. It seems you want to "fight fire with fire" or "play hardball" because that seems fair or necessary, but ... jeez. This is why guys are cautious and disengage.
- firefax 1y ago
  If your daughter is crying, injured, and you are not close enough to get to her before OP, you deserve to have a social worker speak to her 1:1, full stop.
  - jimbokun 1y ago
    No. Absolutely, 100%, no. A child could be playing out of sight of a parent, maybe a block away with friends, and get mildly injured in a way that requires minor treatment. Or just crying because of a negative interaction with a peer. This DOES NOT mean children at a certain age and maturity level cannot be trusted to gain some independence and leave their parents line of sight for short but increasingly longer periods of time.
    - graemep 1y ago
      The GP comment is about a three year old. Not old enough to be playing a block away with friends.
      - projektfu 1y ago
        It was when I was a kid.
bravesoul2 1y ago
I don't know. I might do that depending on $country. Person A's idiotic comment shouldn't punish the actual parent. So I would only call police if it is helpful. I have called police when I found a kid before. while I was in the phone I found the parents so said all good. I think the cop was relieved! But this is not in the US.
aaron695 1y ago
[dead]
bmacho 1y ago
This came out really petty and evil, suggesting revenge as taking away other people's kids just because you don't like them, and lying to the authorities. In the original post they had confirmed that they were the parents, and were aware of her situation. While their response was rude, that's not a reason to threaten them to call 911 with lies, or to actually do it. I suggest you reread the original scenario.

true_religion 1y ago

I agree with this statement. While it's not 'your job' to save the child, if you've already started along the path, you might as well see it through to the end. If you never found the child's parents, you'd have to call CPS. Being prevented from finding the child's parents, just necessitates you move that step forward. Of course, it's not 'your job' so technically you could abandon the child at any point but it does feel a bit heartless to give a kid hope, then say 'meh you're on your own, this is too troublesome'. As for just leaving the child with others who are complaining, I doubt that's a good idea. They were making no move to help, and bystander effect will probably keep them from ever doing a thing.

dingnuts 1y ago
This response may be practical but it's sad and indicative of the problem at hand. Society is so distrusting and litigative that the sensible way to help a child is to call the cops?? those ACAB guys that kill dogs? I'm not even saying you're wrong necessarily, but the whole situation is fucking cooked. How do we learn to trust each other again?
- winwang 1y ago
  I find it ironic that you talk about distrust but then use ACAB, which I assume means "all cops are bad" (cursory googling).
  - krageon 1y ago
    Cops experience professional deformation. Most of the other humans they see at work have been bad or have been involved in something bad. This eventually has an effect on anyone. It's not a good effect. They start to expect it in other people, they start to assume the only folks they can trust are the ones they usually see doing the "right" thing (other cops). This turns them into bad people. The effects only get more pronounced in a society where literally every lunatic could have a gun and could therefore murder you at the drop of a hat. Trusting a strange situation will mean your death, eventually. It's inevitable. This is therefore not a matter of distrust, because you don't need faith or trust to know certain things about the transformative effect this would have on people. They live under mortal threat every second they're outside in uniform. They're going to be monstrous.
    - orwin 1y ago
      Exactly. I've worked for cops (taking care of police orphans/half orphans) for three summers when I was younger. They're ultimately good guys (well, as good as any random guy is, not worse not better) but their experience of the society turns them into distrustful, clanic semi-sociopaths. The fear of other people reactions is ingrained. The one that marked me is that they were afraid of local teens chatting up with our teens and learning they were police children, and passed that fear to all kids by saying extremely weird and violent shit they probably believed, but were ultimately lies. They wanted the children, most of them orphans, to avoid talking to regular kids outside of the camp, and lie if they did. Not bad guys inherently, but clearly fucked up by their job.

nkrisc 1y ago

Involving the police in that situation would be an insane and risky escalation. The girl has a cold, anti-social caregiver/parent. That's sad, not illegal. There were zero reasons to involve the police. What happens when we call the police and the woman lies and says one of us was groping the child and her friends corroborate her lie? I'm not taking that risk. Don't try to out-crazy a crazy person. That's not a game I'm going to play.

firefax 1y ago
>Involving the police in that situation would be an insane and risky escalation. The girl has a cold, anti-social caregiver/parent. That's sad, not illegal. That's factually incorrect.
- HDThoreaun 1y ago
  There is nothing illegal about ignoring your kid while they cry on the playground.
BeFlatXIII 1y ago
Sic the cops on the crazy person and let nature happen.
15155 1y ago
> What happens when we call the police and the woman lies The recording device in my pocket comes into play, and afterwards my attorney seeks damages and fees.
- martin-t 1y ago
  I hate that we live in a world where this feels like a remotely sane question but do you use an analog or digital device? Because these days with anything digital there's a risk of the other side claiming it's a genML fake. Are there analog recorders with an "infinite" loop of tape so you get automatic overwriting without manual intervention?

ploxiln 1y ago

> Are you their parent? If not, we'll cut this favor short and just call child services". > Then do it. Call 911, say there's an injured, unattended child at the playground, and you're getting a hostile response from folks as you try to locate the guardian That is the same thing, though! ... very quickly escalating a probable mundane situation to very serious accusations! I'm the father of a 3 year old daughter, who I take to the playground multiple times per week. This is in Brooklyn, NYC. I haven't had any issues. But I believe the horror stories, there are just a sufficient number of crazy people out there, overly concerned "karens", or reddit warriors, or whatever. People overly confident in their judgement based on a cursory one-sided description of events. It seems you want to "fight fire with fire" or "play hardball" because that seems fair or necessary, but ... jeez. This is why guys are cautious and disengage.

firefax 1y ago
If your daughter is crying, injured, and you are not close enough to get to her before OP, you deserve to have a social worker speak to her 1:1, full stop.
- jimbokun 1y ago
  No. Absolutely, 100%, no. A child could be playing out of sight of a parent, maybe a block away with friends, and get mildly injured in a way that requires minor treatment. Or just crying because of a negative interaction with a peer. This DOES NOT mean children at a certain age and maturity level cannot be trusted to gain some independence and leave their parents line of sight for short but increasingly longer periods of time.
  - graemep 1y ago
    The GP comment is about a three year old. Not old enough to be playing a block away with friends.
    - projektfu 1y ago
      It was when I was a kid.

bravesoul2 1y ago

I don't know. I might do that depending on $country. Person A's idiotic comment shouldn't punish the actual parent. So I would only call police if it is helpful. I have called police when I found a kid before. while I was in the phone I found the parents so said all good. I think the cop was relieved! But this is not in the US.

aaron695 1y ago

[dead]

bmacho 1y ago

This came out really petty and evil, suggesting revenge as taking away other people's kids just because you don't like them, and lying to the authorities. In the original post they had confirmed that they were the parents, and were aware of her situation. While their response was rude, that's not a reason to threaten them to call 911 with lies, or to actually do it. I suggest you reread the original scenario.