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Kids not feeling like they have agency is a huge problem in the asian community which likes to put their kids on steel tracks with 0 wiggle room, this speech re

Kids not feeling like they have agency is a huge problem in the asian community which likes to put their kids on steel tracks with 0 wiggle room, this speech resonated with me big time

game_the0ry 1y ago
As a south asian person, I could not agree more. The irony is that my parents were immigrant entrepreneurs and my grandparents were also entrepreneurs on both sides. Yet my parents pushed me towards medical school or a stable job at the least. I think this was for a couple reasons: 1. Asian parents express their insecurities through their children. They wanted a stable and high income (which maps to "doctor") so they push their kids to become the version of them they never were. 2. Asian parents treat their children like status symbols. Nothing says "I am the best parent" than being able to say "my son/daughter is a doctor." Saying 'my son/daughter owns their own business" just does not have the same ring to it. In asian cultures, status and conformity are very valuable, and those do not map to high agency.
- herval 1y ago
  This sounds wildly similar to Brazilian parenting
  - yoyohello13 1y ago
    It’s a spectrum. Many parents, across all countries act like this.
    - disgruntledphd2 1y ago
      It tends to be associated with immigrants and parents who believe that they should have had a "better" job (even when they like what they do, they don't want their kids doing it).
- jimbokun 1y ago
  Not Asian or South Asian. I'm sure what you're saying is true. But having parents that are not involved enough to push their kids towards anything in particular is a much bigger challenge to over come. If you have a degree from a prestigious university and the network that comes along with it, pivoting towards start ups or something more creative or entrepreneurial is a lot easier than if you never went to college at all or didn't finish high school.
  - Karrot_Kream 1y ago
    On both ends here it's bad. I know several Asian kids who have permanently frayed relationships with parents because of how they felt their parents imposed their desires on their lives. The best is in the middle.
  - lanfeust6 1y ago
    > push their kids I think complete apathy is uncommon. Parents mostly want their kids to succeed in what would loosely map to their own definitions, to be "content" and self-reliant. If they come from a blue collar background that will mean suggesting their kids pick up a trade. Educated parents will usually suggest college. You can't will ambition in someone else that isn't there, and it comes at a price. Some parents relentlessly make their kids train hard at sports, or studying, and they're miserable and resentful for it.
    - deleted 1y ago
      [deleted]
  - game_the0ry 1y ago
    This is a fair point. I agree, there is a spectrum, and being more involved is better than being less involved.
deleted 1y ago
[deleted]

Kids not feeling like they have agency is a huge problem in the asian community which likes to put their kids on steel tracks with 0 wiggle room, this speech resonated with me big time

game_the0ry 1y ago

As a south asian person, I could not agree more. The irony is that my parents were immigrant entrepreneurs and my grandparents were also entrepreneurs on both sides. Yet my parents pushed me towards medical school or a stable job at the least. I think this was for a couple reasons: 1. Asian parents express their insecurities through their children. They wanted a stable and high income (which maps to "doctor") so they push their kids to become the version of them they never were. 2. Asian parents treat their children like status symbols. Nothing says "I am the best parent" than being able to say "my son/daughter is a doctor." Saying 'my son/daughter owns their own business" just does not have the same ring to it. In asian cultures, status and conformity are very valuable, and those do not map to high agency.

herval 1y ago
This sounds wildly similar to Brazilian parenting
- yoyohello13 1y ago
  It’s a spectrum. Many parents, across all countries act like this.
  - disgruntledphd2 1y ago
    It tends to be associated with immigrants and parents who believe that they should have had a "better" job (even when they like what they do, they don't want their kids doing it).
jimbokun 1y ago
Not Asian or South Asian. I'm sure what you're saying is true. But having parents that are not involved enough to push their kids towards anything in particular is a much bigger challenge to over come. If you have a degree from a prestigious university and the network that comes along with it, pivoting towards start ups or something more creative or entrepreneurial is a lot easier than if you never went to college at all or didn't finish high school.
- Karrot_Kream 1y ago
  On both ends here it's bad. I know several Asian kids who have permanently frayed relationships with parents because of how they felt their parents imposed their desires on their lives. The best is in the middle.
- lanfeust6 1y ago
  > push their kids I think complete apathy is uncommon. Parents mostly want their kids to succeed in what would loosely map to their own definitions, to be "content" and self-reliant. If they come from a blue collar background that will mean suggesting their kids pick up a trade. Educated parents will usually suggest college. You can't will ambition in someone else that isn't there, and it comes at a price. Some parents relentlessly make their kids train hard at sports, or studying, and they're miserable and resentful for it.
  - deleted 1y ago
    [deleted]
- game_the0ry 1y ago
  This is a fair point. I agree, there is a spectrum, and being more involved is better than being less involved.

deleted 1y ago

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