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This is written from the perspective of someone who doesn't have dependents. I'm all about changing the world, but I also have an obligation to take care of my

by jawns 1y ago

This is written from the perspective of someone who doesn't have dependents. I'm all about changing the world, but I also have an obligation to take care of my family, so my way of changing the world is working a traditional job, donating to charity from my earnings, and using my time/talent/treasure outside of work hours to make a difference.

paddw 1y ago
> Now, you might be thinking: that’s all well and good, but I’ve got a full-time job, two kids and a mortgage. I’m happy to recycle and eat some tofu now and then, but a “fundamental transformation”? No thanks. In that case, moral ambition may not be for you. I mean, once you have a labradoodle, a set of cheese knives or a robot mower, there’s generally no going back
- dreghgh 1y ago
  Did you have parents who looked after you when you were a child? Did they try to provide a reasonable standard of living for you? If so, do you wish that they hadn't done so?
  - bradly 1y ago
    Oof. Okay. I've done a lot of what is talked about in this article and I have three children. Is the implication that I'm doing something wrong?
    - ptero 1y ago
      No. The implication is that not everyone who chose a different path is a useless labradoodle and cheese knives owner.
      - toomuchtodo 1y ago
        The ambitious, higher risk path for some, necessary, understandable obligation lower risk path for others. Life changes, and so too can these paths and risk tolerance for action.
- dingnuts 1y ago
  I'm not immune to this kind of comment myself, but what is it about the comment section on this website that brings out these kinds of toxic comments? Like, this is just a cynical attack on anyone who succeeds in having a modestly comfortable life. What's the point? People don't like it when this website is compared to Reddit but honestly it's worse. You people are just mean.
  - frostiness 1y ago
    The entire comment is a direct quote from the article. I don't think it was meant as an insult, just a note that the author of the article already was exempting the top level poster from any of the suggestions the article was making.
candiddevmike 1y ago
Your dependents will inherit this world
- buzzerbetrayed 1y ago
  Which is precisely whey GP should be spending time with their kids, providing for them, and raising them to be good humans.
- philipov 1y ago
  It's the children of the billionaires that will inherit the world. Your children will only get to rent it from them. Any inheritance you hope to leave them will be spent paying for your retirement and end-of-life care.
  - kadushka 1y ago
    Let’s forcibly take all the billionaires’ wealth, and distribute it equally among the working class people. Oh wait…
    - TOGoS 1y ago
      Don't even need to 'distribute' the wealth[1]. Just burn it. It's the inequality itself that causes problems--out-of-touch billionaires having the power to make the rest of us do their bidding, whether it makes any dang sense or not--not the lack of giant wads of dollar bills in everybody's pockets. [1] If by 'wealth' we mean numbers in computers. Actual wealth, like healthy land and clean water and manufacturing capacity should be shared by everyone, but currently money is what controls it.
      - kadushka 1y ago
        Who are “us”? Anybody who has less than a billion? What about those who have half a billion? How about 100M? 50M? 20M?
    - -__---____-ZXyw 1y ago
adverbly 1y ago
Did you read the article? The author speaks to this directly: > Now, you might be thinking: that’s all well and good, but I’ve got a full-time job, two kids and a mortgage. I’m happy to recycle and eat some tofu now and then, but a “fundamental transformation”? No thanks. In that case, moral ambition may not be for you. I mean, once you have a labradoodle, a set of cheese knives or a robot mower, there’s generally no going back. But if that’s irritating to hear – and I imagine it might be – then by all means, prove me wrong. I have learned that there are always exceptions, and I want to show that you can be that exception. It’s never too late to step up.
- pfisherman 1y ago
  So what is the difference between moral ambition and hubris? To me limiting oneself to “idealistic but not ambitious” with a focus on fulfilling relationships and positive impact on family, friends, and local community seems like a good way to go. “To do evil a human being must first of all believe that what he's doing is good, or else that it's a well-considered act in conformity with natural law. Fortunately, it is in the nature of the human being to seek a justification for his actions... Ideology—that is what gives the evildoing its long-sought justification and gives the evildoer the necessary steadfastness and determination.” - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
analog31 1y ago
The most efficient charity might be the expenditure of your taxes. I know this evokes a natural visceral reaction among many people, but my data point is that liberal democracies with bureaucratic governments seem to be better off in terms of overall human welfare, than countries that depend on private charity.
ffsm8 1y ago
Fwiw: the author of the article is 37 years old, is married and has a kid
- evjan 1y ago
  But more importantly, he is not one of those people he writes about. He sets up an ideal that he doesn’t live up to. He’s an author and journalist, not a doer of any kind as far as I can tell from his bio.
PaulRobinson 1y ago
You're taking care of your family right now, and that's great, but ask yourself: could you take care of them better by building something that makes the World a better place for them to grow up into, and for their children? Or are you OK with the status quo? So I'll ask you straight out: why is the choice you've made salary man or nothing? Why can't you get started with a side hustle, and then if it gets traction, you can quit your job and it becomes your main living? One of the big barriers to this is a lot of investors seem to expect founders to work for nothing in the early years, which is a pretty privileged place to be: most people with dependents just can't do that, so I hear you. But you don't need VCs. You don't need to live on noodles. You can build something that replaces your day job, you just need to figure it out.
- theglenn88_ 1y ago
  Gotta jump in here. Working full time for someone and doing a side hustle is hard, from experience. What I’ve found is that trying to do the side hustle takes away from a lot time spent with your dependants, which you will never get back, unless you are lucky enough to “make the break” Not impossible, and you’ve got to try and find a balance. But it just may never happen.
  - PaulRobinson 1y ago
    Agree, it has to be time-boxed - burn out risk is real. I'm fortunate that I don't mind getting up early and I hate morning TV/radio/news, so I can find an extra hour for myself each day.
- Wickedflickr 1y ago
  I think a better solution than a side hustle, is to gather your friends or coworkers to propose to create, collectively, a worker owned co-op (of whatever idea seems profitable). As it's being done collectively, there's more of a chance of it getting off the ground, as people could take turns working on it in their spare time instead of a side-hustle dominating your time. Once it's established, those people could then quit their job and work at the coop. There are credit unions that could help with startup costs, as well as guides on how to structure it based on other successful coops.
swat535 1y ago
I don't think these are mutually exclusive. In fact, I'd argue that taking care of your family _is_ a morally right and meaningful way of contributing to the world. There's a reason traditional Christian ethical frameworks often prioritize responsibilities in layers: first to God (or core principles), then to family, then to the neighbor (broader community).
1vuio0pswjnm7 1y ago
"This is written from the perspective of someone who doesn't have dependents." According to Wikipedia, the author has dependents. "Bregman is married to Maartje ter Horst, a photographer.^[43]^[44] They reside in Brooklyn as of 2025 and have a child together.^[45]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutger_Bregman https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutger_Bregman (Attention Wikipedia editors: Unless I missed something, reference #45 appears to make no mention of Bregman's family.)

by jawns 1y ago

paddw 1y ago

> Now, you might be thinking: that’s all well and good, but I’ve got a full-time job, two kids and a mortgage. I’m happy to recycle and eat some tofu now and then, but a “fundamental transformation”? No thanks. In that case, moral ambition may not be for you. I mean, once you have a labradoodle, a set of cheese knives or a robot mower, there’s generally no going back

dreghgh 1y ago
Did you have parents who looked after you when you were a child? Did they try to provide a reasonable standard of living for you? If so, do you wish that they hadn't done so?
- bradly 1y ago
  Oof. Okay. I've done a lot of what is talked about in this article and I have three children. Is the implication that I'm doing something wrong?
  - ptero 1y ago
    No. The implication is that not everyone who chose a different path is a useless labradoodle and cheese knives owner.
    - toomuchtodo 1y ago
      The ambitious, higher risk path for some, necessary, understandable obligation lower risk path for others. Life changes, and so too can these paths and risk tolerance for action.
dingnuts 1y ago
I'm not immune to this kind of comment myself, but what is it about the comment section on this website that brings out these kinds of toxic comments? Like, this is just a cynical attack on anyone who succeeds in having a modestly comfortable life. What's the point? People don't like it when this website is compared to Reddit but honestly it's worse. You people are just mean.
- frostiness 1y ago
  The entire comment is a direct quote from the article. I don't think it was meant as an insult, just a note that the author of the article already was exempting the top level poster from any of the suggestions the article was making.

candiddevmike 1y ago

Your dependents will inherit this world

buzzerbetrayed 1y ago
Which is precisely whey GP should be spending time with their kids, providing for them, and raising them to be good humans.
philipov 1y ago
It's the children of the billionaires that will inherit the world. Your children will only get to rent it from them. Any inheritance you hope to leave them will be spent paying for your retirement and end-of-life care.
- kadushka 1y ago
  Let’s forcibly take all the billionaires’ wealth, and distribute it equally among the working class people. Oh wait…
  - TOGoS 1y ago
    Don't even need to 'distribute' the wealth[1]. Just burn it. It's the inequality itself that causes problems--out-of-touch billionaires having the power to make the rest of us do their bidding, whether it makes any dang sense or not--not the lack of giant wads of dollar bills in everybody's pockets. [1] If by 'wealth' we mean numbers in computers. Actual wealth, like healthy land and clean water and manufacturing capacity should be shared by everyone, but currently money is what controls it.
    - kadushka 1y ago
      Who are “us”? Anybody who has less than a billion? What about those who have half a billion? How about 100M? 50M? 20M?
  - -__---____-ZXyw 1y ago

adverbly 1y ago

Did you read the article? The author speaks to this directly: > Now, you might be thinking: that’s all well and good, but I’ve got a full-time job, two kids and a mortgage. I’m happy to recycle and eat some tofu now and then, but a “fundamental transformation”? No thanks. In that case, moral ambition may not be for you. I mean, once you have a labradoodle, a set of cheese knives or a robot mower, there’s generally no going back. But if that’s irritating to hear – and I imagine it might be – then by all means, prove me wrong. I have learned that there are always exceptions, and I want to show that you can be that exception. It’s never too late to step up.

pfisherman 1y ago
So what is the difference between moral ambition and hubris? To me limiting oneself to “idealistic but not ambitious” with a focus on fulfilling relationships and positive impact on family, friends, and local community seems like a good way to go. “To do evil a human being must first of all believe that what he's doing is good, or else that it's a well-considered act in conformity with natural law. Fortunately, it is in the nature of the human being to seek a justification for his actions... Ideology—that is what gives the evildoing its long-sought justification and gives the evildoer the necessary steadfastness and determination.” - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

analog31 1y ago

The most efficient charity might be the expenditure of your taxes. I know this evokes a natural visceral reaction among many people, but my data point is that liberal democracies with bureaucratic governments seem to be better off in terms of overall human welfare, than countries that depend on private charity.

ffsm8 1y ago

Fwiw: the author of the article is 37 years old, is married and has a kid

evjan 1y ago
But more importantly, he is not one of those people he writes about. He sets up an ideal that he doesn’t live up to. He’s an author and journalist, not a doer of any kind as far as I can tell from his bio.

PaulRobinson 1y ago

You're taking care of your family right now, and that's great, but ask yourself: could you take care of them better by building something that makes the World a better place for them to grow up into, and for their children? Or are you OK with the status quo? So I'll ask you straight out: why is the choice you've made salary man or nothing? Why can't you get started with a side hustle, and then if it gets traction, you can quit your job and it becomes your main living? One of the big barriers to this is a lot of investors seem to expect founders to work for nothing in the early years, which is a pretty privileged place to be: most people with dependents just can't do that, so I hear you. But you don't need VCs. You don't need to live on noodles. You can build something that replaces your day job, you just need to figure it out.

theglenn88_ 1y ago
Gotta jump in here. Working full time for someone and doing a side hustle is hard, from experience. What I’ve found is that trying to do the side hustle takes away from a lot time spent with your dependants, which you will never get back, unless you are lucky enough to “make the break” Not impossible, and you’ve got to try and find a balance. But it just may never happen.
- PaulRobinson 1y ago
  Agree, it has to be time-boxed - burn out risk is real. I'm fortunate that I don't mind getting up early and I hate morning TV/radio/news, so I can find an extra hour for myself each day.
Wickedflickr 1y ago
I think a better solution than a side hustle, is to gather your friends or coworkers to propose to create, collectively, a worker owned co-op (of whatever idea seems profitable). As it's being done collectively, there's more of a chance of it getting off the ground, as people could take turns working on it in their spare time instead of a side-hustle dominating your time. Once it's established, those people could then quit their job and work at the coop. There are credit unions that could help with startup costs, as well as guides on how to structure it based on other successful coops.

swat535 1y ago

I don't think these are mutually exclusive. In fact, I'd argue that taking care of your family _is_ a morally right and meaningful way of contributing to the world. There's a reason traditional Christian ethical frameworks often prioritize responsibilities in layers: first to God (or core principles), then to family, then to the neighbor (broader community).

1vuio0pswjnm7 1y ago

"This is written from the perspective of someone who doesn't have dependents." According to Wikipedia, the author has dependents. "Bregman is married to Maartje ter Horst, a photographer.^[43]^[44] They reside in Brooklyn as of 2025 and have a child together.^[45]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutger_Bregman https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutger_Bregman (Attention Wikipedia editors: Unless I missed something, reference #45 appears to make no mention of Bregman's family.)