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The Catalogue of UK Entrances to Hell (2002)
- Daub 3y agoAn old site, but with a good deal of obscure British charm.
- ChrisArchitect 3y agoSo random/wacky. A classic example of the lovely "weird internet". (That I hope is forever preserved)
- c2xlZXB5Cg1 3y agoFrontpage/Dreamweaver vibes
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- anta40 3y agohttps://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page281.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page281.html How come a piece of tree (or whatever it is) is supposed to be an entrace of hell? Hmmm okay. Perhaps I don't get this Brits joke.
- ChrisArchitect 3y agoRandom/not so random things and making up stories about them with a theme. It's creative.
- PaulRobinson 3y agoIt's the Wessex Variant of the Mornington Crescent rules that mean... oh wait, wrong thread...
- KineticLensman 3y agoNo! It's the Malebolge variant! (sigh)
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- Lio 3y agoCan you even use Malebolge on a Tuesday? That's definitely not canon.
- csmattryder 3y agoIt's incredibly convenient for us who commute home from Oracle's office in the area.
- Lio 3y agoI wish I could up vote this comment twice. Larry would be proud.
- eigenket 3y agoThe flowers on the right hand side look like daisies and probably like 1-2cm across. The whole thing is probably about 20cm across. Its probably a mole-hill? It looks vaguely like it could be earth displaced from a tunneling devil if you squint a bit and go with the 2002 vibe.
- bemusedthrow75 3y agoMoles, though. You can't trust 'em.
- mrlonglong 3y agoYes indeed, the preferred way to deal with them is to stamp on the hills and persuade them to move next door.
- gilleain 3y agoWhy are you so certain that you can recognise an entrance to hell when you see one :) ?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- wizerdrobe 3y agoMust be the Devil, trying to sow seeds of doubt among us.
- petesergeant 3y agoWell it’s only a temporary entrance, and is clearly labelled as such. For more information please reread.
- smusamashah 3y ago> Although it is an extremely exhausting process, his ability to swim through soil means that the devil will, on occasion, create temporary entrances. These will eventually be filled in by the local County Council but they can be a source of harmful mantle-gas. This example was named Oilyn by the investigating police officers after the former Prime Minister.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- sdflhasjd 3y agoHow old is this site? I'm sure even in 2002 JPEG was a better option than GIF
- LeoPanthera 3y agoI'm sure it's older than that, seeing it again has triggered a memory from I'm sure the late 90s.
- autophagian 3y agoAccording to the blog of the man who runs it, it was from 2002-2005: https://misterirvine.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/explain-entrances2hell-co-uk/ https://misterirvine.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/explain-entran...
- bemusedthrow75 3y ago"The poor design is also a way of making the fictional compiler (Rae Gates) seem to be lonely, naive, obsessed, deluded and out-of-touch. I, the real compiler, am only one of these." Genius.
- wouterjanl 3y agoAlso from his blog: « I am a husband and father. The reason I was born was to become my daughter’s father. I was wise enough to notice and appreciate at the time, the slow ecstatic joy my child’s early years were giving me. So too have her later years. I will die happy. » Beautiful. https://misterirvine.wordpress.com/about/ https://misterirvine.wordpress.com/about/
- wconrm 3y agosee first entry here : https://web.archive.org/web/20021001000000*/https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/ https://web.archive.org/web/20021001000000*/https://www.entr...
- PaulRobinson 3y ago> "© J H Irvine 2002" Yes. This is a taste of what the web was like before it became shit. And it's the way it should be again. Weird, quirky, fun, no ad-tech, no trying to hard sell anything. God, I miss this era.
- bowsamic 3y agoIt still exists you’re just missing it
- benj111 3y agoRight... But how does one find it. Does one have to tilt their trolley at every pillar on every train platform. Or find a friendly worm type thing to show them hidden entrances?
- bowsamic 3y agoThe latter
- mglz 3y agoIt's work and we need to re-establish a true net of websites, webrings and all the other forgotten stuff that was made obsolete by search engines. Here's my contribution: https://mglz.de/links.html https://mglz.de/links.html
- bowsamic 3y agoI'm not sure, I think it's better to keep it private and dispense it through closed communities. These things don't work unless there is a lot of personal interest between each website creator, so just dumping them into a big list isn't great. I think the best modern approaches I've seen have forums/Discord servers organised around a topic, such as making demos or sizecoding, and then people sharing their sites and projects within those spaces.
- 3y ago
- ckastner 3y agoI love this. Texts appear both coherent yet utterly random: > Satan's heat-image can sometimes be seen here and it has recently been proven that all of the earth's insects were born just inside the metal door.
- Daub 3y ago> ...coherent yet utterly random Beautifully put!
- wwilim 3y agoThis sounds like Stig facts
- chalst 3y agoMany do, but some go beyond coherence and tell a story. E.g., https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page285.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page285.html says > The Cult of Reversible Death wrote of a moonlight-appointment with God (which the devil failed to attend due to prior commitments) claiming that it was to have taken place here at Puggnac. There is no evidence to prove their claim but the local steelworks still shows the event on their coat of arms. Puggnac has superbly delicate ductwork and a hydraulics system which was designed and built in Yorkshire. Radom as hell, though, fitting the theme.
- twic 3y agoIt reminds me strongly, in places, of Peter Greenaway's 'A Walk Through H': https://player.bfi.org.uk/free/film/watch-a-walk-through-h-the-reincarnation-of-an-ornithologist-1978-online https://player.bfi.org.uk/free/film/watch-a-walk-through-h-t...
- sschueller 3y agoHere is the "gates to hell" in Zürich, Switzerland: https://d3qvqlc701gzhm.cloudfront.net/mirror/1c45663482a95218ff97dff569262f703e0eaae3cc5bf30f484af8e88b8476cd.jpg https://d3qvqlc701gzhm.cloudfront.net/mirror/1c45663482a9521... https://www.zuerich.com/de/besuchen/sehenswuerdigkeiten/hoellentor-auguste-rodin https://www.zuerich.com/de/besuchen/sehenswuerdigkeiten/hoel...
- gerjomarty 3y agoThis reminded me of the Hidden London tours, which allow guided access to staff-only disused and abandoned parts of the London Underground. There's a real excitement in taking a peek behind one of these dusty, abandoned-looking doors you walk past every day.
- DrBazza 3y agoThose sort of tours are often listed on https://www.ianvisits.co.uk/ https://www.ianvisits.co.uk/
- trhway 3y ago> taking a peek behind one of these dusty, abandoned-looking doors back in middle-school in USSR exploring with friends abandoned underground fortifications one of the doors that we broke through happened to let us into an actually used military hardware storage (unfortunately not munitions nor weapons) which had its official office and gates with guards/etc. from the other side of that hill. More intentionally though we back then several times visited using ventilation pass the large underground military fuel depot each time carrying away buckets of fuel for various fun childhood fire activities.
- devjam 3y agoWhat a gem! And a few more from the HTML source: <META NAME="Keywords" CONTENT="entrances2hell, entrancestohell, entrances to hell, Hell, Canterbury, Kent,"> As well as a style tag missing a closing '>' on the page template: </style
- HeckFeck 3y agoI noticed this too. Would be a safe bet it was hand crafted in notepad with no syntax highlighting. Might just feed it to the W3C validator for kicks. Update: The validator reported 42 errors before giving up: Fatal Error: Cannot recover after last error. Any further errors will be ignored. From line 56, column 1; to line 56, column 23 Verdana">↩<a href="page279.html">This w
- KineticLensman 3y ago> The validator reported 42 errors before giving up Giving up? 42! How can you not see this as the sinister interference of Beelzebub!
- wkjagt 3y ago42 hex in decimal is 66!
- arrowsmith 3y ago> hand crafted in notepad with no syntax highlighting Those were the days!
- devjam 3y agoSave, open FTP/SCP client, copy to webserver, maybe poke/restart a service via SSH, back to browser, refresh... dammit, error, rinse repeat. We're certainly spoiled having formatting, linting, tests and coverage all run on save these days :-)
- wkjagt 3y agoWhen did we stop explicitly welcoming people to websites (literally: “welcome to my website!”) . The same era that “going on the internet” was an actual activity. I miss that. It’s like we all stopped being excited by the web.
- clort 3y agoalong these lines, see Portals of London https://portalsoflondon.com/ https://portalsoflondon.com/
- pk-protect-ai 3y agoThough these gates are not sinister enough, in my opinion, it would be a nice idea to make a game out of it with a plot around gate research. It could be fun... Disclaimer: I am not nostalgic for the internet of the old days, especially the times when you had a few websites to access, mostly university sites, and you could memorize each and every IP address. I actually hate the fact that the major search engines (especially Bing and Google) try to deceive me with the URLs I don't need. During the times of Altavista and Yahoo, I had the regex pipeline to filter their searches; however, this tactic is now futile...
- etamponi 3y agoCan somebody please explain the joke/context? :)
- bradrn 3y agohttps://misterirvine.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/explain-entrances2hell-co-uk/ https://misterirvine.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/explain-entran... [Thanks goes to @autophagian who linked this in another comment]
- blippage 3y agoIf that's too scary for you, you could always look at "Pylon of the Month" https://www.pylonofthemonth.org/ https://www.pylonofthemonth.org/ The website was set up by an Englishman, of course, because that's what us British do best: quirky and underwhelming. I heard a fund manager in the energy sector the other day who said that PotM was the thing that fascinated listeners most. Spoiler alert: January's pylon is from Cadiz in Spain, has its own Wikipedia page, but the pair featured aren't as tall as the Thames crossing pylons.
- sebstefan 3y agoYou promised me underwhelming and I almost had a heart attack with January's pylon Thankfully the 2023 ones were just mundane enough to bring me back
- shrikant 3y ago> quirky and underwhelming Describes Stonehenge perfectly. Which I suppose could be some sort of ancient pylons?
- blippage 3y agoYou might be interested in "Crap Days Out", a book published about 1 decade ago. In it you can find out such treats as the Dinosaur Museum, which has no dinosaurs, the Pencil Museum, which boasts the world's largest pencil, and Teapot Island, home to more than 8,000 teapots. Of course Stonehenge appears in it. Here's a review in the Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2011/aug/21/crap-days-out-gareth-rubin https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2011/aug/21/crap-days-out... "And that's Stonehenge!" I announced. "Is it?" replied Maria. "It's a bit small and rubbish, isn't it?" "Yes," I said proudly. "It is."
- kitd 3y agoIf you're referring to the Pencil Museum in Keswick, I found that fascinating. But that's probably just me tbh ...
- mikhailfranco 3y ago
- mijoharas 3y agoInterestingly the "entrances" seem to go from /page272.html to /page381.html, and then loop back. There also appears to be some kind of autocorrecting going on in the url path, where /page1381.html will redirect to /page381.html, though some will give you multiple choices like https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page481.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page481.html. Seems like a strange routing system. Is this common?
- dleavitt 3y agoLooks like it's "mod_speling" from an old version of apache: https://httpd.apache.org/docs/2.4/mod/mod_speling.html https://httpd.apache.org/docs/2.4/mod/mod_speling.html
- mstade 3y agoNot strange, it's hypermedia at work. I wish more APIs (made for human consumption or otherwise) would be so considerate. See also: https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/300 https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/300
- mrlonglong 3y agoThat's hilarious, thanks for a much needed laugh in between my job hunting. the Tories here in the UK have made such a big mess it's going to be hard to find a job with my disability.
- lambdaone 3y agoThe site even comes with its own music charts: https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pagechart.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pagechart.html My favourite track is "Ssssuuuuft".
- petercooper 3y agoAnd by virtue of that site listing them, those entrances have become Hyperart Thomasson: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperart_Thomasson https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperart_Thomasson
- mikhailfranco 3y agoNot Heaven and Hell, but... Blisland, Cornwall, England https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blisland https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blisland Helland, Cornwall, England https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helland https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helland About 3.2 km (2 miles) apart as the crow flies: https://www.openstreetmap.org/node/33809465#map=13/50.5278/-4.6819 https://www.openstreetmap.org/node/33809465#map=13/50.5278/-... Or 5.3km driving: https://www.openstreetmap.org/directions?engine=fossgis_osrm_car&route=50.5276%2C-4.6821%3B50.5062%2C-4.7152#map=13/50.5168/-4.6959 https://www.openstreetmap.org/directions?engine=fossgis_osrm... The main route into Cornwall is the A30, and you see the signs to them at successive junctions. Who knew Bliss and Hell were so close together?
- matsemann 3y agohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway the image is quite funny. On the train station it says "Hell, Gods - Expedition". (but which in Norwegian actually means "goods handling")
- eitland 3y agoI've been there. The boot camp for the Norwegian Air Force used to be next to that place and had a gate there so many Norwegian air force soldiers including me guarded the gate at Hell ar some point.
- N19PEDL2 3y agoI would like there to be one for the city of Turin.
- JoeAltmaier 3y agoHow about a useful list, like, of entrances to the platform for the Hogwarts Express. They'd look very similar I imagine?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- andybak 3y agohttps://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page322.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/page322.html I know this location well. It leads to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_Palace_(High_Level)_railway_station https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_Palace_(High_Level)_ra... which was one of the "abandoned places" I loved to explore in my youth. I always suspected there were infernal forces at play in that area.
- gtmitchell 3y agoThe maps are hidden gems. Don’t want to spoil it, but be sure to click the link on a few of them. It’s top notch British humor.
- ccppurcell 3y agoRare, these days, to laugh out loud at a website. But one of those maps got me.
- ssssss 3y ago[dead]
- _joel 3y agoBeing a Mancunian of a certain vintage, these make me homesick.
- tim333 3y agoSlightly off topic but I recently discovered to my surprise London has a now disused railway for the dead https://www.london-walking-tours.co.uk/secret-london/london-necropolis-railway.htm https://www.london-walking-tours.co.uk/secret-london/london-...
- twic 3y agoSo (a) it's not exactly a disused railway, because the trains of the dead used the same tracks as those of the living, which are still in use, although the dead did have their own dedicated stations and their spurs at either end, and (b) it's a shame it wasn't called the Necropolitan Line.
- redder23 3y agoSome of the letters and answers are hilarious. https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pageletters.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pageletters.html Also this: https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pagesafety.html https://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/pagesafety.html