7 ms·

> I'd have played fewer video games, traveled less, and relaxed on the beach less. This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. You s

> I'd have played fewer video games, traveled less, and relaxed on the beach less. This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. You sound so obsessed with money here. My guess is your probably very wealthy relative to the average peer and your too naive to realize it. You have to keep telling yourself this philosophy to justify not wind surfing in Bali. You think your gonna wind surf when your 60? You think it's smart to spend your 'non arthritis' fingers on coding?

derekp7 5y ago
The truth is, no matter what path you take in life, you can find yourself wishing that you took a different path.
- bathtub365 5y ago
  I saw this posted elsewhere on HN and it really resonated with me. “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” Sylvia Plath
  - tayo42 5y ago
    every post here in this post is triggering an existential crisis for me. oh what to do...
    - chii 5y ago
      It pays to understand oneself. Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire. If yo can imagine yourself be satisfied with obtaining just one of those figs, instead of only being satisfied from having it all, you'd have a much better time alive. It's the same root philosophy as finishing one project to completion, rather than start many but never finishing it to the end.
      - tayo42 5y ago
        This probably changes depending on who you talk to, to me idk if its about wanting every fig. I think its worrying about which fig is the best, and trying to figure out what "best" even means. and curiosity of other figs. And how much time should you spend on trying to know your self, to pick the best fig.
      - dudeman13 5y ago
        >Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire Why wouldn't people want every fig on the tree? It's because of indifference and lack of passion. In a world where aging was solved, we could get every one of them. And it wouldn't be greed, it would be just living.
      - IggleSniggle 5y ago
        I made the decision to take the nearby fig, because, like, it's there, it's a little green, but hey, enjoy it! And I did. And you know what? After I awhile, I decided I didn't like it after all. I spit it out. I climbed for another fig, and even though I got that one too, it turns out...I really enjoy climbing for figs, perhaps more than I enjoy figs.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
      - thatjoeoverthr 5y ago
        People want lots of different figs because they’re good, and it’s hard to choose.
      - 5y ago
  - amch 5y ago
    I really love this quote - thanks for sharing.
  - truffdog 5y ago
    It reminds me of http://dresdencodak.com/2009/04/19/onald-creely/ http://dresdencodak.com/2009/04/19/onald-creely/ , which meant a lot to me when I was younger for no reason that I can explain.
  - emodendroket 5y ago
    What a great metaphor.
  - L0in 5y ago
    I LOVE Sylvia Plath
  - jacquesm 5y ago
    Not choosing is also a choice. The paralysis of choice is very nicely laid out in that piece.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
- kovek 5y ago
  Just as you can find meaning in the path you took. See how people will be happy even after missing some opportunities - https://youtu.be/4q1dgn_C0AU?t=1001 https://youtu.be/4q1dgn_C0AU?t=1001 . It depends on our prefrontal cortex!
- koolba 5y ago
  Not at all. If your road in life reaches a certain level of fulfillment, you stop thinking about what could have been and spend your days counting your blessings.
- docmars 5y ago
  Many of us have an innate drive for diverse experiences and forming fond memories around them, to the point it feels like it's never enough. Sometimes it is those who are looking for a void to fill in life, because their childhood lacked a crucial element to healthy development that they end up looking for anything that could scratch that itch; and that itch is often nostalgia waiting to be found, perhaps falsely, because that void seeks something else to satisfy it relationally.
randallsquared 5y ago
Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now, couched as what they would have wanted to do. But they made the decisions they did for reasons that seemed good at the time, and it might well be that they'd make the same ones. Wishing things were different is not the same as a plan to make them different. Or, as I've said about this before: why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about!
- asddubs 5y ago
  That's funny, and a good point. Although I think the whole deathbed thing is more of a framework for figuring out what you want, now, without over-prioritizing preparing for the future
- dragonwriter 5y ago
  > why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about! Because death-bed you is the one that knows whether what to present-you is the future worked out satisfactorily or disappointingly.
- buran77 5y ago
  I probably said this before. The deathbed perspective is an exercise of taking your entire life experiences and distilling them to get a concrete core as seen from the "final checkpoint". The key is knowing that there will be no future experiences to alter the result, and that makes the determination as final and as accurate as it can ever reasonably be. It's not a decision making tool, it can't be used to alter the future. It's a conclusion, a punchline. But if you want to see what's important now that's a decision, a seed for your future, and it's open to change and evolution. This cannot be more different from a real deathbed perspective. So taking this decision by imagining one of infinite possibilities of your future up to your distant deathbed makes no sense. Even meeting your future self wouldn't give good insights on any "road not taken". An imagined, relatively random, and distant future outcome can't help you decide what's best in the present more than flipping a coin will. The people drawing these conclusions may have no future but they do have the entire past. When you ask for a game review you're more likely to go for one coming from someone who's finished the game rather than someone who played the tutorial. That deathbed conclusion is meant to pass on what were the best and worst parts, not what should have been done differently because finishing the game means you know the outcome of exactly one of the possible move combinations. So if most old gamers say a particular mission deserves attention it's not a guarantee it does but it's a strong indication.
wiseowise 5y ago
> You think your gonna wind surf when your 60? No. > You think it's smart to spend your 'non arthritis' fingers on coding? Yes.
- philosopher1234 5y ago
  Thanks for the comment. I disagree, so I’m going to rebut you: no.
chuckSu 5y ago
shostack 5y ago
It is important to realize in America at least, retirement seems a bit further out of reach to younger generations. So this may be really important advice for those entering what may well be the peak of an unprecedented bull market that padded the accounts of those retiring or retired, but that may not have done anything for someone young under or unemployed. So maximizing income seems like pretty good advice right now, especially if we have bumpy economic roads ahead. The good news is that thanks to a shift towards remote friendliness, holding a high paying tech job (which I'm assuming is something many on HN are capable of) while in Ibiza or Bali may not be as incompatible as it was for older generations, wifi permitting.
- emodendroket 5y ago
  If you are in software there is no reason you shouldn't be able to retire.
- okhobb 5y ago
  You can even hold more than one concurrently I hear!
- imtringued 5y ago
  Those retirees are fully dependent on young people working for them, if they were to refuse then the retirees might notice their selfishness.
unmole 5y ago
> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. Unlike everyone else, someone on the deathbed doesn't have to think about the future.
staticassertion 5y ago
Lots of people I know in a generation or two above me regret not saving when they were younger. Now they're nervous about being 70 and having to retire soon but not feeling stable, or feeling that they may financially burden their children. Compounding interest on money means, as previously mentioned, money you earn at 20 will be 10x as valuable compared to money earned towards a typical retirement age. With tech having strong early salaries and heavy stock compensation I think this is even more the case. > You think your gonna wind surf when your 60? You think it's smart to spend your 'non arthritis' fingers on coding? How about 40? Because if you start working at 21 in tech and you're aggressive about your career that's when you can retire. Do experiences compound? Will I enjoy an experience more at 25 than 45? Maybe, and there's always some balance, of course. No one should work themselves to death. But I worked obscene hours for my first 4 years of my career, lived with many roommates, and saved a lot of money. And I started years later than most, as I entered the market at 24 instead of 21. It buys me great peace of mind to know that I am financially stable and independent, that I can take care of friends and family who are not, and that I have bought myself decades of retirement.
- emodendroket 5y ago
  If you retire when you're 40 don't you basically have to live in mortal fear of serious illness for the rest of your life?
  - staticassertion 5y ago
    There are a number of ways around that if you have money, such as investing in an HSA early on, or buying private insurance. Or get married.
  - Aeolun 5y ago
    Only in the US. You might live in a first world country. You might also have so much saved up you can buy private insurance for the rest of your life.
  - rufus_foreman 5y ago
    No. You buy health insurance.
MrPatan 5y ago
> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed Maybe because nobody is around to listen to, or cares about, the old people saying in their death bed "maybe I should have worked harder"
ekianjo 5y ago
> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. You should nevze give any weight to whatever strangers say on their deathbed because they actually could have done things the way they wanted but every living day actively chose not to do it. Regrets are bullshit.

derekp7 5y ago

The truth is, no matter what path you take in life, you can find yourself wishing that you took a different path.

bathtub365 5y ago
I saw this posted elsewhere on HN and it really resonated with me. “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” Sylvia Plath
- tayo42 5y ago
  every post here in this post is triggering an existential crisis for me. oh what to do...
  - chii 5y ago
    It pays to understand oneself. Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire. If yo can imagine yourself be satisfied with obtaining just one of those figs, instead of only being satisfied from having it all, you'd have a much better time alive. It's the same root philosophy as finishing one project to completion, rather than start many but never finishing it to the end.
    - tayo42 5y ago
      This probably changes depending on who you talk to, to me idk if its about wanting every fig. I think its worrying about which fig is the best, and trying to figure out what "best" even means. and curiosity of other figs. And how much time should you spend on trying to know your self, to pick the best fig.
    - dudeman13 5y ago
      >Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire Why wouldn't people want every fig on the tree? It's because of indifference and lack of passion. In a world where aging was solved, we could get every one of them. And it wouldn't be greed, it would be just living.
    - IggleSniggle 5y ago
      I made the decision to take the nearby fig, because, like, it's there, it's a little green, but hey, enjoy it! And I did. And you know what? After I awhile, I decided I didn't like it after all. I spit it out. I climbed for another fig, and even though I got that one too, it turns out...I really enjoy climbing for figs, perhaps more than I enjoy figs.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - thatjoeoverthr 5y ago
      People want lots of different figs because they’re good, and it’s hard to choose.
    - 5y ago
- amch 5y ago
  I really love this quote - thanks for sharing.
- truffdog 5y ago
  It reminds me of http://dresdencodak.com/2009/04/19/onald-creely/ http://dresdencodak.com/2009/04/19/onald-creely/ , which meant a lot to me when I was younger for no reason that I can explain.
- emodendroket 5y ago
  What a great metaphor.
- L0in 5y ago
  I LOVE Sylvia Plath
- jacquesm 5y ago
  Not choosing is also a choice. The paralysis of choice is very nicely laid out in that piece.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
kovek 5y ago
Just as you can find meaning in the path you took. See how people will be happy even after missing some opportunities - https://youtu.be/4q1dgn_C0AU?t=1001 https://youtu.be/4q1dgn_C0AU?t=1001 . It depends on our prefrontal cortex!
koolba 5y ago
Not at all. If your road in life reaches a certain level of fulfillment, you stop thinking about what could have been and spend your days counting your blessings.
docmars 5y ago
Many of us have an innate drive for diverse experiences and forming fond memories around them, to the point it feels like it's never enough. Sometimes it is those who are looking for a void to fill in life, because their childhood lacked a crucial element to healthy development that they end up looking for anything that could scratch that itch; and that itch is often nostalgia waiting to be found, perhaps falsely, because that void seeks something else to satisfy it relationally.

randallsquared 5y ago

Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now, couched as what they would have wanted to do. But they made the decisions they did for reasons that seemed good at the time, and it might well be that they'd make the same ones. Wishing things were different is not the same as a plan to make them different. Or, as I've said about this before: why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about!

asddubs 5y ago
That's funny, and a good point. Although I think the whole deathbed thing is more of a framework for figuring out what you want, now, without over-prioritizing preparing for the future
dragonwriter 5y ago
> why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about! Because death-bed you is the one that knows whether what to present-you is the future worked out satisfactorily or disappointingly.
buran77 5y ago
I probably said this before. The deathbed perspective is an exercise of taking your entire life experiences and distilling them to get a concrete core as seen from the "final checkpoint". The key is knowing that there will be no future experiences to alter the result, and that makes the determination as final and as accurate as it can ever reasonably be. It's not a decision making tool, it can't be used to alter the future. It's a conclusion, a punchline. But if you want to see what's important now that's a decision, a seed for your future, and it's open to change and evolution. This cannot be more different from a real deathbed perspective. So taking this decision by imagining one of infinite possibilities of your future up to your distant deathbed makes no sense. Even meeting your future self wouldn't give good insights on any "road not taken". An imagined, relatively random, and distant future outcome can't help you decide what's best in the present more than flipping a coin will. The people drawing these conclusions may have no future but they do have the entire past. When you ask for a game review you're more likely to go for one coming from someone who's finished the game rather than someone who played the tutorial. That deathbed conclusion is meant to pass on what were the best and worst parts, not what should have been done differently because finishing the game means you know the outcome of exactly one of the possible move combinations. So if most old gamers say a particular mission deserves attention it's not a guarantee it does but it's a strong indication.

wiseowise 5y ago

> You think your gonna wind surf when your 60? No. > You think it's smart to spend your 'non arthritis' fingers on coding? Yes.

philosopher1234 5y ago
Thanks for the comment. I disagree, so I’m going to rebut you: no.

chuckSu 5y ago

shostack 5y ago

It is important to realize in America at least, retirement seems a bit further out of reach to younger generations. So this may be really important advice for those entering what may well be the peak of an unprecedented bull market that padded the accounts of those retiring or retired, but that may not have done anything for someone young under or unemployed. So maximizing income seems like pretty good advice right now, especially if we have bumpy economic roads ahead. The good news is that thanks to a shift towards remote friendliness, holding a high paying tech job (which I'm assuming is something many on HN are capable of) while in Ibiza or Bali may not be as incompatible as it was for older generations, wifi permitting.

emodendroket 5y ago
If you are in software there is no reason you shouldn't be able to retire.
okhobb 5y ago
You can even hold more than one concurrently I hear!
imtringued 5y ago
Those retirees are fully dependent on young people working for them, if they were to refuse then the retirees might notice their selfishness.

unmole 5y ago

> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. Unlike everyone else, someone on the deathbed doesn't have to think about the future.

staticassertion 5y ago

Lots of people I know in a generation or two above me regret not saving when they were younger. Now they're nervous about being 70 and having to retire soon but not feeling stable, or feeling that they may financially burden their children. Compounding interest on money means, as previously mentioned, money you earn at 20 will be 10x as valuable compared to money earned towards a typical retirement age. With tech having strong early salaries and heavy stock compensation I think this is even more the case. > You think your gonna wind surf when your 60? You think it's smart to spend your 'non arthritis' fingers on coding? How about 40? Because if you start working at 21 in tech and you're aggressive about your career that's when you can retire. Do experiences compound? Will I enjoy an experience more at 25 than 45? Maybe, and there's always some balance, of course. No one should work themselves to death. But I worked obscene hours for my first 4 years of my career, lived with many roommates, and saved a lot of money. And I started years later than most, as I entered the market at 24 instead of 21. It buys me great peace of mind to know that I am financially stable and independent, that I can take care of friends and family who are not, and that I have bought myself decades of retirement.

emodendroket 5y ago
If you retire when you're 40 don't you basically have to live in mortal fear of serious illness for the rest of your life?
- staticassertion 5y ago
  There are a number of ways around that if you have money, such as investing in an HSA early on, or buying private insurance. Or get married.
- Aeolun 5y ago
  Only in the US. You might live in a first world country. You might also have so much saved up you can buy private insurance for the rest of your life.
- rufus_foreman 5y ago
  No. You buy health insurance.

MrPatan 5y ago

> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed Maybe because nobody is around to listen to, or cares about, the old people saying in their death bed "maybe I should have worked harder"

ekianjo 5y ago

> This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. You should nevze give any weight to whatever strangers say on their deathbed because they actually could have done things the way they wanted but every living day actively chose not to do it. Regrets are bullshit.