12 ms·

And he doesn't even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too. As a kid I used to play outside a lot, a

• cryptoz 5y ago
  That's terrifying, I'm sorry that happened to you. Something I have done (accidentally at first, now on purpose) is to not respond to messages (personal) quickly, most of the time. People adjust to that rather fast and stop worrying so much. People in my circles know now that I am rarely going to answer within a few hours and expectations are adjusted. So then going outside for a few hours with no phone is no longer a "thing" - you just do it and people will expect you to get back to them when you do.
  • rapnie 5y ago
    I do that too. My phone is still on silent most of the time. It is funny the reactions you get when people aren't yet used to not getting a quick response. They are sort of outraged and questioning: "I called you, but you didn't answer??". Also I go outside without a phone on occasion. That feels like you leave a burden behind, and you are somehow more free. The phone is that easy thing you just grab to do a quick check of something on Wikipedia, or you happen to notice a notification. It is a distraction-device, keeping you busy. And among strangers, feeling less comfortable, well you can grab your phone and start staring at it. This behavior is like with smoking. Just like the relaxed cigarette cowboy in the ads, but now you casually light up the screen and be cool.
    • mgkimsal 5y ago
      I like to run, but take the phone with me because it's my tracking device and music while running. I've been trying "do not disturb" mode, and it seems to be a positive. I don't get intermittent notifications that someone is trying to reach me - I don't want to be reached right now. The DND mode has probably been around for a while, I've just recently (last few months) gotten used to actually enabling it. What will be nicer is (eventually) have the device learn the times you don't want to be disturbed (beyond 'sleeping'). Or perhaps I'll just leave it on all the time....?
      • sammorrowdrums 5y ago
        I’m getting a smartwatch with watch only runs, it has tracking, Bluetooth for headphones and can preload Spotify playlists. It has WiFi but no cell phone. Really looking forward to just being out for runs, with no possibility of contact or checking notifications etc.
        • mgkimsal 5y ago
          I just got an Apple Watch, and am planning to experiment using it without the phone.
          • distances 5y ago
            Maybe at that point a sports watch would be a good alternative? Something like Suunto, Polar, Garmin
        • buu700 5y ago
          I do this with my WearOS smartwatch (gen 4 Fossil Sport). It works pretty well overall, although I had to find a third-party app (WMusic) to allow copying music to the watch and playing without an active connection to the phone.
    • ghaff 5y ago
      Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe if we're coordinating an imminent get-together, but for the most part no one I know expects anything other than a telephone call to be immediately answered and even then understands reasons why it might not be.
  • Sebb767 5y ago
    Seconded. I made the step a few months ago, too; I turned off all "last seen" and "read"-notifications as well as uninstall my mail client from my phone [0]. I also intentionally did not respond as fast (at least on cold conversation starts). Once people get used to the fact that you might not respond in a few hours, they stop worrying so much about it when it happens. [0] I know I still have IMs, but mails tend to be things I need to do at a computer and seeing them only stresses me with things to do for later.
• jzawodn 5y ago
  What the actual...? One would hope the cops at least apologized for nearly destroying your front door all because you didn't answer the door. It's not like they had a warrant for your arrest or something!
  • Osiris 5y ago
    Except that law enforcement is explicitly immune from having to pay damages to property in the course of their duty. We had a SWAT team destroy a fence with an armored vehicle during a standoff and they were just like, "not my problem." Apparently they don't want to have to make decisions based on cost.
    • Moru 5y ago
      Depends on country I guess. In Sweden they usually pay for the door.
      • wil421 5y ago
        My home insurance would cover police damage unless I was the person they were after. It’s still likely I would have to cover the deductible. You could probably take the presumed criminal neighbor to small claims court and try to get back the deductible. I’d bet any decent judge would be sympathetic to the home owner.
    • buu700 5y ago
      Makes sense. Seems like the incentives will be problematic either way. Personally, I'd just have the state cover it, but explicitly not have it come out of the police budget. A reimbursement check or tax credit could work. In the event that malice is suspected on the part of any involved party (police department, property owner, 911 caller, home invader, etc.), it would be on the state to press charges and recoup its loss.
  • ghaff 5y ago
    Did you read the part where his mother made the 911 call?
• oceanghost 5y ago
  I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time. Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes. I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, read a book, take a nap, etc. Also, Driving. I don't answer texts while I'm driving because I literally got in an accident texting (it was a freak circumstance, but these things do happen). I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts/messages/e-mails. I have another friend who always calls on his commute home and gets offended when I don't answer. The idea alone that someone is obligated to answer the phone is insane. What if I don't want to spend an hour shooting the shit with you because I'm doing something else? I miss the days when I could just walk away from contact.
  • swayvil 5y ago
    Soon they will replace the "phone ring" with an electric shock. Mark my words. Like in 1984. People who want to "spend time alone" are deviant, diseased and antisocial. And must be stopped.
    • Sebb767 5y ago
      You're missing the tree in the forest. No one is forced to look at their phone, the reality is that people have trained themselves to want it.
      • swayvil 5y ago
        There are 6 anecdotes in this thread where friends and family apply force to get a person to look at their phone. Social force, but still. Force. Consider the soft forces of marketing, distraction, conformity, attraction and temptation. They are as real as a twisted arm.
        • solaceb 5y ago
          Sure, I agree, it's all very coercive. But I think the point really is... physical force isn't even necessary. We're already addicted
• ghaff 5y ago
  There's been a complete shift in mindset. As a kid during the summer in a semi-rural area, I'd be away for hours. My grandmother had no idea where I was and my mother was at work. At one point, I had a fairly bad fall out of a tree but was able to get back to the house. In a similar vein, if you were in the wilderness you were on your own. If you were in a group, you could send someone for help. If you were on your own you self-rescued or hoped someone found you. Now, the default assumption is you can call for help--which isn't always the case. More likely with a personal locator beacon but even that isn't a guarantee in canyons or in bad weather. I was on a sea kayaking trip in Alaska in the early 90s. The guide had a VHF radio but, basically, had anything happened you'd have been waiting for the bush plane to return in a week.
  • jsjohnst 5y ago
    > Now, the default assumption is you can call for help--which isn't always the case. Exactly. I had an emergency situation where I needed to be taken to the hospital over a decade ago. I had a satellite phone on me, yet it was still difficult to get help due to a combination of satellite coverage (Iridium phones would have periods of no coverage due to satellite orbits) and just having a number to call (great thing about 911 is that it works from almost any phone in the US, except satellite phones).
• buu700 5y ago
  I have a somewhat similar anecdote. At a previous job, I would frequently work late nights and weekends (honestly more for fun than anything). Around the end of one week, I ended up pulling a few consecutive all-nighters. Unbeknownst to me, my mom on the other side of the country had been calling intermittently throughout those days (I keep my phone on silent). After a certain point, she called security at my apartment complex to check in on me. Of course she was then informed that my room mates hadn't seen me in several days. By the time I noticed and returned the missed calls, apparently my mom was just about ready to call the police.
• dwighttk 5y ago
  I’m sorry man. I’m on silent 100% of the time (though I could imagine turning the ringer on for a specific phone call) Almost everyone texts or emails and I’ve never had anyone freak out if I didn’t reply quickly.
  • serf 5y ago
    >Almost everyone texts or emails and I’ve never had anyone freak out if I didn’t reply quickly. email/text response time is very much a metric on many employee evaluation systems. you might not have gotten anyone to 'freak out', but I guarantee that slow response times will get you lower performance reviews at many establishments. (should it? absolutely not, I am entirely against the practice.)
    • dwighttk 5y ago
      Email is not used in my job. There’s some texting but mostly face to face.
• nunez 5y ago
  lol my mom _always_ found out. how? no idea. but she did.
• II2II 5y ago
  > And he doesn't even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too. Or you could be at home and ignore the phone. People used to arrange a time to call or know when to call. It used to be considered impolite to let the phone ring more than 4 or 6 times unless the call was urgent. People never expected you to call back after an unanswered call, since answering machines and caller ID were rare. > Now that all has completely changed I find the change immensely frustrating. It isn't so much the expectation of others for an immediate response that bothers me as an internal desire for an immediate response from others. Sure, those feelings may only pop up when something genuinely important pops up. On the other hand, the other person doesn't know that until they check their messages.
  • ghaff 5y ago
    >Or you could be at home and ignore the phone. Although my experience, especially pre-answering machines, was that a phone call was something that many people felt absolutely had to be answered no matter what you were doing.
• raxxorrax 5y ago
  This is the worst change in my opinion. People assume the worst if you don't answer the phone. This also ruined instant messaging for me. Some people get angry or interpret something weird into it if you don't reply within 30 seconds. It really depends on the crowd, some people don't mind and get on with their lives and don't answer until next week. I love these people.
• jiveturkey 5y ago
  > And he doesn't even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too. Because he's specifically talking about smartphones, not cell phones. He's talking about the information and attention economy, not the more simple highly available reachability.