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70? My animal is only 33 and is very tired. Writing this as it lays in bed, 3 in the afternoon, because even a standard chair sounds more exhausting to it. I

70? My animal is only 33 and is very tired. Writing this as it lays in bed, 3 in the afternoon, because even a standard chair sounds more exhausting to it. It seems to have no motivation or energy to do much besides lay here. If I force it, it will get stuff done but at a huge cost. It will yearn the entire time to just lay back down. It's interest in things seems to be fading quickly. What desire it used to have to work hard and succeed, has slipped away. It seems these days it has only enough energy to lay in bed and scroll through the internet. Not sure what is wrong with my animal, but this is no way for it to live. I was hard on the animal in its early 20s, but no harder than the average animal. The past 7 years or so have actually been pretty calm, good food, semi regular exercise, stable job, etc. It's scary to imagine how the animal would feel at 70 if this is how it feels at 33. Maybe the pandemic was a straw to its back, and the isolation has worn it down more than anything else possibly could.

logicslave 5y ago
Lately this has been on my mind. I do everything, diet, exercise, social interaction, etc. But I am still just tired sometimes, nothing seems to kick. Maybe my mind is telling me that this way of life is down trodden? Find a new path? Working alot has no value, and maybe I am missing out. Or I am just tired, and there is no where to go
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- breakfastduck 5y ago
  The pace of life is accelerating year by year, I swear. If not the pace then at least the stress level.
  - logicslave 5y ago
    But the clock on life is ticking. I keep telling myself, dont stay still for too long. Keep moving.
  - edoceo 5y ago
    Future Shock
- randomopining 5y ago
  Yeah that’s it. You know when you’re doing something you really like all day, you’re tired and fall right asleep and get great rest. That’s when you know you’re doing it right.
- savanaly 5y ago
  Do those times you just feel tired for no reason happen to correlate with being after the times you ate carbs? I'm not suggesting that's definitely the issue, but people underrate simple physical explanations for stuff like this. Sometimes you have some deep seated insecurities and sometimes your body just isn't functioning but your brain isn't cognizant of it and can't realize that's the issue.
  - logicslave 5y ago
    Funny you mention this, lately I have had a hunch that carbs could be something to eliminate from my diet. I havent been able to do it 100%, but I have kind of a checklist of things in my mind of ways and habits to change. Eating carbs is on there. I may give it a closer look
    - mensetmanusman 5y ago
      Mid 30s, When I started going to ~one meal a day (dinner), my sleep was better and I didn’t have the afternoon digestive tiredness. I only have coffee for breakfast (black, dairy doesn’t feel great to me first thing), keep hydrated, if I eat a huge dinner (large salad,carbs,protein,fruit) it’s amazing how it lasts 24 hrs. I do not go to the gym though (not sure if my eating habits would be compatible with being a gym goer, I do walk a few miles a day though).
    - savanaly 5y ago
      The keto diet is pretty forgiving. I did it for 2 weeks and aside from missing snacking and being annoyed that I had to check the carbs on everything (apples have a ton of carbs apparently-- who knew?) it was easy. All my normal meals are frying some meat in oil, plus steamed or fried veggies, plus a carb like noodles or rice. I just stopped making the carb and went heavy on the olive oil and voila. I didn't notice too much difference, energy-wise, as in I didn't notice that I became a different person full of energy like I see in some positive testimonials. So I haven't continued it. But those first few days after I went back to eating carbs I sure did notice the hit to my energy in the hours after eating them.
  - mrfusion 5y ago
AnimalMuppet 5y ago
I think Covid made life a lot less interesting. Or, put a bit differently, I think that we quit doing a bunch of the things that made life interesting. And I think that is mentally wearing. I don't know if, in your case, that's the whole answer. You might find it worth while to seek medical advice...
- natchy 5y ago
  Related, I was just talking about why middle/high school years seem to last longer than now. The variety of the time spent was probably a factor (Playing in the band one day, focusing on decathlon another). Life is monotonous these days.
  - rubicon33 5y ago
    Yes, I have a theory that the perception of time is very closely matched with your perception of novelty. New things, extend the perception of time. Seeing new lands, new people, new experiences, all place landmarks in your memory that make time real. When the days just blurr into each other your brain has a very hard time perceiving the time that went by. All of a sudden, a year is gone. You think about that year, and it seems like it just flew by because well, you have no mental landmarks to remember. This is why time moves so much slower as a kid. Everything is new then.
nradov 5y ago
If you keep forcing it every day then eventually it gets easier. Listen to the audio book "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins. It will change your perspective on what your animal can take. https://davidgoggins.com/book/ https://davidgoggins.com/book/
- walterlb 5y ago
  David Goggins, not Higgins. I got excited that this was from the rally driver :)
  - nradov 5y ago
    Thanks, edited. Got hit by autocorrect.
    - edoceo 5y ago
      Anyone else notice autocorrect being more aggressive? Like switching or => of and like not => now. I've noticed loads of these kinds of typos afflicting my Android typing too. Like it's like an auto-un-correct
- eyelidlessness 5y ago
  > If you keep forcing it every day then eventually it gets easier. I can both validate it and warn that it may be dangerous. I thrived and grew by forcing myself through everything until burnout, and I've done it three times in my life. Developing a healthy sense, pattern and habit of rest is important too.
- hedberg10 5y ago
  Is the article not the exact opposite?
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
maxqin1 5y ago
> good food Everyone thinks they eat good food. Food is the number one physical measurable input into our bodies. So it boggles my mind that nutrition isn't the most studied subject, alongside maybe the study of living a fulfilling life. Changing my eating habits has changed my life for the better. It took kidney stones (not recommended) to get me here. But even my most obese and unhealthy friends like to proudly tell me the "healthy" things their eating, and I don't have the heart or patience to try to tell them anymore. But if you find what works for your body, food becomes more of a tool for living your best life, and something you'll defend to protect yourself and to continue living that good life, which makes the right choices so much easier. Now maybe that's not what you need to hear, but I know it's definitely true for some other people that are going to see this.
- docmars 5y ago
  Out of curiosity, what did you change after you experienced kidney stones? What was easy about it? What was difficult?
  - maxqin1 5y ago
    #1 change: actually paying attention to what your putting inside you. Kidney stones were a long time ago now, I've been continuously evolving since, and I've been super lucky to have a lot of help with both the cooking and research along the way. One thing I learned specifically from that incident was that: Raw spinach != Cooked spinach. Specifically, the former has a specific chemical that will cause kidney stones. This is problematic for someone on the subway diet who substitutes spinach for the lettuce, because, you know, spinach is healthier than lettuce... which is kind of true, until it isn't. Edit: what was easy? Knowing the impact that little daily decisions can have (a few day stay in the hospital). Also, cutting out the soda was easy after experiencing that level of pain (the kind where things become a blur, you accidentally rip out IVs, sister passes out just from watching, etc). Also, I've changed my diet regularly as information changes for the past ten years. Every single time I thought I was "being the healthiest I can be." That said, I'm not suggesting a specific solution. What I'm suggesting is becoming familiar with the practice of iterating on your eating habits to maximize your life (in more ways than simply extension).
DougN7 5y ago
This actually sounds quite a bit like depression. Some inexpensive meds can make a huge difference. I know from experience.
- xivzgrev 5y ago
  Agree, but in my experience medicine simply kept me from going too low. Some kind of therapy may also be needed, and a focus / prioritization on things that make you happy.
  - pmiller2 5y ago
    There's still significant value in not going too low. I have a sense of existential dread that makes me forever unable to end my own life, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought of it. I've been at points where I definitely did not want to continue living the way I was, but I didn't want to die. For those who don't have that sense of existential dread keeping them on this planet, not going too low can literally be a lifesaver.
  - contradistinct 5y ago
    Yes, meds don't solve the underlying issue. There is no happy pill. They just give you the boost you need to fix your life. This is shown by studies that show depression comes back after discontinuing meds, but not after discontinuing therapy.
- peanutz454 5y ago
  When my partner took anti depressants they increased the need to sleep.
  - girvo 5y ago
    Mirtazapine will do that to a bit of an extreme. Escitalopram didn't, at least for me, in some ways it made it slightly more difficult to sleep. This is in my body, so everyone's mileage may vary. I found the massive drowsiness of mirtazapine so difficult to deal with that I ended up preferring the frustrating sexual side-effects that escitalopram has (and found it more effective for my depression anyway). Lately, the buprenorphine injection I get once a month is all the antidepressant I need. Still has side-effects, but these are ones I'm very used to at least.
Swizec 5y ago
> My animal is only 33 and is very tired In life satisfaction surveys, your 30’s are the most miserable stressful part of life. Highest amount of responsibilities, lowest amount of consistent reward, and it keeps getting worse until your 40’s Apparently it gets better again in your late 40’s and early 50’s. By 60 you’re as happy as you were at 20. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mid-life-crisis-peaks-at-age-47-heres-how-to-minimize-effect-of-happiness-curve.html https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mi... (am 33 and also just ... tired)
- yamrzou 5y ago
  Thanks, that's a bit relieving.
  - ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
    I'm 59, and pretty darn happy. I get aches and pains from everything, though. My back is still aching from weeding a week and a half ago.
- Aeolun 5y ago
  Isn't this just caused by you leaving your 20's behind? At least for me I feel like I passed by my best years, and am only realizing it now. By 60 I certainly hope to have accepted that, but right now it's still a bit hard.
  - Swizec 5y ago
    I suspect the confounding variable is that late 20’s/early 30’s is when most people have kids. Happiness levels improve in late 50’s when kids are out of the house. Kids may be “a complete joy and the best thing you’ve ever done”, but they’re also a huge financial burden, source of stress, and limiter on doing what you wanna do.
    - rubicon33 5y ago
      For the record, I (op) do not have kids. I am however married and very happy with my marriage.
hodgesrm 5y ago
The key is to keep moving forward. Marion Countess Dönhoff had a great line about aging in an interview when she was in her 80s: "every day a little more self-discipline." Dönhoff was an East Prussian who became an influential journalist and later newspaper publisher in W. Germany after the war. In her family, the attitude to life was basically shut up, deal with it, and keep going. She was an aristocrat in the best sense of the word. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_D%C3%B6nhoff https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_D%C3%B6nhoff Edit: typo
- sebmellen 5y ago
  Do you have a source for that quote? I would love to know! Thank you.
  - hodgesrm 5y ago
    I'm sad to say I don't. It was in a German-language interview and really stuck in my head. "Jeden Tag ein bisschen mehr Selbstdisziplin." She wrote a memoir about her upbringing in East Prussia called "Kindheit in Ostpreussen." The English translation is entitled "Before the Storm: Memories of My Youth in Old Prussia." [1] It's a somewhat wandering story but the account of growing up in a Prussian aristocratic family on a huge estate is quite marvelous. That world--for better or worse--has perished almost without a trace. [1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/138357.Before_The_Storm https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/138357.Before_The_Storm
graeme 5y ago
How much do you sleep? And do you track it or just estimate? The single biggest improvement to my energy and happiness came from getting a sleep tracking device, and then making sure I slept around eight hours. (As opposed to being in bed for eight hours). I wake with no alarm, and have also started going to bed earlier since tracking this. This may not be your issue, I see your diet and weight appear good. Could be some mental health issue or some other physical issue not currently diagnosed. But, if you’re sleeping less than eight hours or are not actually tracking so you know you’re sleeping enough, it could be a big improvement to try doing both. I have an apple watch and autosleep if anyone is curious about the combo.
ncmncm 5y ago
This might be an unwelcome suggestion, but tell your doctor. This sounds very like depression, which is quite treatable. You need to know that there are at least six different illnesses all called depression. The only way known to figure out which you have is to try each treatment, in turn, to see which helps. Usually they start with one with few side effects, or that works fastest. Some people have more than one variety, or one plus anxiety, or attention disorder, or all three. (These might all be caused by industrial chemicals we are all exposed to nowadays, stuff our ancestors never encountered.) If the drugs work, but have side effects, know too that the side effects will tend to pass, with time.
fukmbas 5y ago
I blame MBA types. 10-15 years ago IT was fun, now that MBA leeches got word, they are infiltrating our industry and bloating it with middlemen and bogus ideologies like scrum and product. Get fucked
TylerE 5y ago
I know others have thrown out other things, but: Have you been tested for sleep apnea? What you describe sounds much like how I used to feel.
- rubicon33 5y ago
  For a while, I thought it might be sleep related too. Even though I've always gotten plenty of sleep (tracked), I wondered if the quality of that sleep was no good. So I had a formal sleep study done (where you bring home the thing and wear it). They found nothing wrong.
voldacar 5y ago
If you're constantly lethargic and tired, consider seeing an endocrinologist and having some tests done.
practicalpants 5y ago
Do you have money? Quit your job, go travel, go entrepreneurial pursuing something that moves you. Living in some San Francisco apartment, building a career at tech companies making 6 figures a year is, once you have some money, a pretty crappy wheel-spinning way to live life, by some opinions.
koonsolo 5y ago
Take a 1 hour walk outside every day. Your 'wasted' hour will be given back tenfold.
- hedberg10 5y ago
  *when the sun is the highest in the sky. Shirt off, if you dare. Start slow (don't be stupid and burn yourself). The energy is incredible. I walked about 20 miles this morning with the sun coming up before biking 6 miles to work and then back in the evening. And I know I'll have lots of energy to spare tonight. Yes we are warm blooded animals but still very dependent on the sun and activity.
  - Liskni_si 5y ago
    20 miles is just 6 miles less than a marathon, and would take over 6 hours at the normal pace of 5 km/h. Is that really what you manage to do in the morning before work? :-O
    - hedberg10 5y ago
      Thank you for catching me. No, that is not what I walked :)
      - Liskni_si 5y ago
        So, um, was that a typo? Am I parsing your sentence wrong? Been waiting for an edit but it doesn't seem one is coming. :-)
        josephjrobison 5y ago
        20 minutes
uvnq 5y ago
Try avoiding distractions. I find that on days I go without the internet (other than for work) I become significantly less motivated and work is way harder to start. Not sure if that's even your problem but if it is then I hope this helps.
ahD5zae7 5y ago
Apart from great comments already posted, please read about "long covid". I'm not sure if it's officially recognized yet but it's a strange illness lately and a large number of people suffer from it. One of most important symptoms is chronic fatigue. I'm fighting it since last year and one thing I can say is that the fatigue is different from anything I experienced in my 43 year life. It's crippling and even getting up requires effort. Caffeine in large doses helps somewhat but only to an extent. There's always been a "post viral fatigue syndrome" with many other viruses and it is a known phenomenon, maybe it's just a similar thing with Covid. Only it affects much more people I think. And most importantly you can get it after asymptomatic Covid, so you don't even know you had it.
otikik 5y ago
Does anyone in your family suffer from hypothyroidism? That, combined with depression (it's a spectrum) is what was getting to me. I've since changed some habits, I'm taking 1 small thyroid pill each morning and going to therapy once per week. I still feel tired and lacking in energy from time to time but I have improved.
bun_at_work 5y ago
You've probably heard it before, but exercise will help. It does so much good for mental and physical health, it's basically mandatory. After that, removing dopamine feedback loops (browsing the internet, social media, etc.) will help tremendously with motivation. After reading a number of books on psychology and behavior it has become clear that the adaptability of humans works for and against us. If you browse the internet you adapt to that type of mental effort, where fast, shallow patterns of thought and action are rewarded. Alternatively, reading books, exercising, working on hobby projects, etc, all train you to subdue the desire for immediate gratification, in favor of future gratification, which is more healthy and rewarding.
kadonoishi 5y ago
Very late to this, but: You sound like a machine built for a different set of circumstances. Wartime, or famine, or slavery; or most likely, a heavily religious society. I would guess you’re mostly nonreligious. But you have a lot of mechanisms left over in your personal acculturation from when religion was important for your ancestors. You took out the formal religion, because that’s not needed so much these days, but still have a lot of underlying mechanisms, like a conviction that there is such a thing as an ultimate answer, which made sense when the accepted ultimate answer was God. I would guess that you enjoy learning and regularly investigate new things, but one of the mechanisms that generates your motivation is actually an old outdated attempt to find God, which you are no longer trying to do. Rationally, you search for the limits of the set of ideas you’re currently investigating, find them, and move on, in accordance with modern liberal arts thinking. But there’s a twinge of disappointment because you were being driven partly by leftover religious mechanisms that were hoping for Ultimate Truth. The repeated disappointment of the old mechanism leads to tiredness, and a feeling that real meaning keeps not being there no matter how much you keep reading interesting things on the Internet. There may also be a buildup of resentment that your trust has been repeatedly betrayed. Just a thought this morning. I recognize a lot of what you’re saying. My parents were missionaries and it has proven impossible to escape all of those influences.
- jadbox 5y ago
  Friedrich Nietzsche has a similar outlook on society today. A good book I'd recommend: Warspeak: Nietzsche's Victory over Nihilism https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55904256-warspeak https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55904256-warspeak
- rubicon33 5y ago
  A very interesting perspective, thank you for posting it.

logicslave 5y ago

Lately this has been on my mind. I do everything, diet, exercise, social interaction, etc. But I am still just tired sometimes, nothing seems to kick. Maybe my mind is telling me that this way of life is down trodden? Find a new path? Working alot has no value, and maybe I am missing out. Or I am just tired, and there is no where to go

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
breakfastduck 5y ago
The pace of life is accelerating year by year, I swear. If not the pace then at least the stress level.
- logicslave 5y ago
  But the clock on life is ticking. I keep telling myself, dont stay still for too long. Keep moving.
- edoceo 5y ago
  Future Shock
randomopining 5y ago
Yeah that’s it. You know when you’re doing something you really like all day, you’re tired and fall right asleep and get great rest. That’s when you know you’re doing it right.
savanaly 5y ago
Do those times you just feel tired for no reason happen to correlate with being after the times you ate carbs? I'm not suggesting that's definitely the issue, but people underrate simple physical explanations for stuff like this. Sometimes you have some deep seated insecurities and sometimes your body just isn't functioning but your brain isn't cognizant of it and can't realize that's the issue.
- logicslave 5y ago
  Funny you mention this, lately I have had a hunch that carbs could be something to eliminate from my diet. I havent been able to do it 100%, but I have kind of a checklist of things in my mind of ways and habits to change. Eating carbs is on there. I may give it a closer look
  - mensetmanusman 5y ago
    Mid 30s, When I started going to ~one meal a day (dinner), my sleep was better and I didn’t have the afternoon digestive tiredness. I only have coffee for breakfast (black, dairy doesn’t feel great to me first thing), keep hydrated, if I eat a huge dinner (large salad,carbs,protein,fruit) it’s amazing how it lasts 24 hrs. I do not go to the gym though (not sure if my eating habits would be compatible with being a gym goer, I do walk a few miles a day though).
  - savanaly 5y ago
    The keto diet is pretty forgiving. I did it for 2 weeks and aside from missing snacking and being annoyed that I had to check the carbs on everything (apples have a ton of carbs apparently-- who knew?) it was easy. All my normal meals are frying some meat in oil, plus steamed or fried veggies, plus a carb like noodles or rice. I just stopped making the carb and went heavy on the olive oil and voila. I didn't notice too much difference, energy-wise, as in I didn't notice that I became a different person full of energy like I see in some positive testimonials. So I haven't continued it. But those first few days after I went back to eating carbs I sure did notice the hit to my energy in the hours after eating them.
- mrfusion 5y ago

AnimalMuppet 5y ago

I think Covid made life a lot less interesting. Or, put a bit differently, I think that we quit doing a bunch of the things that made life interesting. And I think that is mentally wearing. I don't know if, in your case, that's the whole answer. You might find it worth while to seek medical advice...

natchy 5y ago
Related, I was just talking about why middle/high school years seem to last longer than now. The variety of the time spent was probably a factor (Playing in the band one day, focusing on decathlon another). Life is monotonous these days.
- rubicon33 5y ago
  Yes, I have a theory that the perception of time is very closely matched with your perception of novelty. New things, extend the perception of time. Seeing new lands, new people, new experiences, all place landmarks in your memory that make time real. When the days just blurr into each other your brain has a very hard time perceiving the time that went by. All of a sudden, a year is gone. You think about that year, and it seems like it just flew by because well, you have no mental landmarks to remember. This is why time moves so much slower as a kid. Everything is new then.

nradov 5y ago

If you keep forcing it every day then eventually it gets easier. Listen to the audio book "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins. It will change your perspective on what your animal can take. https://davidgoggins.com/book/ https://davidgoggins.com/book/

walterlb 5y ago
David Goggins, not Higgins. I got excited that this was from the rally driver :)
- nradov 5y ago
  Thanks, edited. Got hit by autocorrect.
  - edoceo 5y ago
    Anyone else notice autocorrect being more aggressive? Like switching or => of and like not => now. I've noticed loads of these kinds of typos afflicting my Android typing too. Like it's like an auto-un-correct
eyelidlessness 5y ago
> If you keep forcing it every day then eventually it gets easier. I can both validate it and warn that it may be dangerous. I thrived and grew by forcing myself through everything until burnout, and I've done it three times in my life. Developing a healthy sense, pattern and habit of rest is important too.
hedberg10 5y ago
Is the article not the exact opposite?

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

maxqin1 5y ago

> good food Everyone thinks they eat good food. Food is the number one physical measurable input into our bodies. So it boggles my mind that nutrition isn't the most studied subject, alongside maybe the study of living a fulfilling life. Changing my eating habits has changed my life for the better. It took kidney stones (not recommended) to get me here. But even my most obese and unhealthy friends like to proudly tell me the "healthy" things their eating, and I don't have the heart or patience to try to tell them anymore. But if you find what works for your body, food becomes more of a tool for living your best life, and something you'll defend to protect yourself and to continue living that good life, which makes the right choices so much easier. Now maybe that's not what you need to hear, but I know it's definitely true for some other people that are going to see this.

docmars 5y ago
Out of curiosity, what did you change after you experienced kidney stones? What was easy about it? What was difficult?
- maxqin1 5y ago
  #1 change: actually paying attention to what your putting inside you. Kidney stones were a long time ago now, I've been continuously evolving since, and I've been super lucky to have a lot of help with both the cooking and research along the way. One thing I learned specifically from that incident was that: Raw spinach != Cooked spinach. Specifically, the former has a specific chemical that will cause kidney stones. This is problematic for someone on the subway diet who substitutes spinach for the lettuce, because, you know, spinach is healthier than lettuce... which is kind of true, until it isn't. Edit: what was easy? Knowing the impact that little daily decisions can have (a few day stay in the hospital). Also, cutting out the soda was easy after experiencing that level of pain (the kind where things become a blur, you accidentally rip out IVs, sister passes out just from watching, etc). Also, I've changed my diet regularly as information changes for the past ten years. Every single time I thought I was "being the healthiest I can be." That said, I'm not suggesting a specific solution. What I'm suggesting is becoming familiar with the practice of iterating on your eating habits to maximize your life (in more ways than simply extension).

DougN7 5y ago

This actually sounds quite a bit like depression. Some inexpensive meds can make a huge difference. I know from experience.

xivzgrev 5y ago
Agree, but in my experience medicine simply kept me from going too low. Some kind of therapy may also be needed, and a focus / prioritization on things that make you happy.
- pmiller2 5y ago
  There's still significant value in not going too low. I have a sense of existential dread that makes me forever unable to end my own life, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought of it. I've been at points where I definitely did not want to continue living the way I was, but I didn't want to die. For those who don't have that sense of existential dread keeping them on this planet, not going too low can literally be a lifesaver.
- contradistinct 5y ago
  Yes, meds don't solve the underlying issue. There is no happy pill. They just give you the boost you need to fix your life. This is shown by studies that show depression comes back after discontinuing meds, but not after discontinuing therapy.
peanutz454 5y ago
When my partner took anti depressants they increased the need to sleep.
- girvo 5y ago
  Mirtazapine will do that to a bit of an extreme. Escitalopram didn't, at least for me, in some ways it made it slightly more difficult to sleep. This is in my body, so everyone's mileage may vary. I found the massive drowsiness of mirtazapine so difficult to deal with that I ended up preferring the frustrating sexual side-effects that escitalopram has (and found it more effective for my depression anyway). Lately, the buprenorphine injection I get once a month is all the antidepressant I need. Still has side-effects, but these are ones I'm very used to at least.

Swizec 5y ago

> My animal is only 33 and is very tired In life satisfaction surveys, your 30’s are the most miserable stressful part of life. Highest amount of responsibilities, lowest amount of consistent reward, and it keeps getting worse until your 40’s Apparently it gets better again in your late 40’s and early 50’s. By 60 you’re as happy as you were at 20. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mid-life-crisis-peaks-at-age-47-heres-how-to-minimize-effect-of-happiness-curve.html https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mi... (am 33 and also just ... tired)

yamrzou 5y ago
Thanks, that's a bit relieving.
- ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
  I'm 59, and pretty darn happy. I get aches and pains from everything, though. My back is still aching from weeding a week and a half ago.
Aeolun 5y ago
Isn't this just caused by you leaving your 20's behind? At least for me I feel like I passed by my best years, and am only realizing it now. By 60 I certainly hope to have accepted that, but right now it's still a bit hard.
- Swizec 5y ago
  I suspect the confounding variable is that late 20’s/early 30’s is when most people have kids. Happiness levels improve in late 50’s when kids are out of the house. Kids may be “a complete joy and the best thing you’ve ever done”, but they’re also a huge financial burden, source of stress, and limiter on doing what you wanna do.
  - rubicon33 5y ago
    For the record, I (op) do not have kids. I am however married and very happy with my marriage.

hodgesrm 5y ago

The key is to keep moving forward. Marion Countess Dönhoff had a great line about aging in an interview when she was in her 80s: "every day a little more self-discipline." Dönhoff was an East Prussian who became an influential journalist and later newspaper publisher in W. Germany after the war. In her family, the attitude to life was basically shut up, deal with it, and keep going. She was an aristocrat in the best sense of the word. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_D%C3%B6nhoff https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_D%C3%B6nhoff Edit: typo

sebmellen 5y ago
Do you have a source for that quote? I would love to know! Thank you.
- hodgesrm 5y ago
  I'm sad to say I don't. It was in a German-language interview and really stuck in my head. "Jeden Tag ein bisschen mehr Selbstdisziplin." She wrote a memoir about her upbringing in East Prussia called "Kindheit in Ostpreussen." The English translation is entitled "Before the Storm: Memories of My Youth in Old Prussia." [1] It's a somewhat wandering story but the account of growing up in a Prussian aristocratic family on a huge estate is quite marvelous. That world--for better or worse--has perished almost without a trace. [1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/138357.Before_The_Storm https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/138357.Before_The_Storm

graeme 5y ago

How much do you sleep? And do you track it or just estimate? The single biggest improvement to my energy and happiness came from getting a sleep tracking device, and then making sure I slept around eight hours. (As opposed to being in bed for eight hours). I wake with no alarm, and have also started going to bed earlier since tracking this. This may not be your issue, I see your diet and weight appear good. Could be some mental health issue or some other physical issue not currently diagnosed. But, if you’re sleeping less than eight hours or are not actually tracking so you know you’re sleeping enough, it could be a big improvement to try doing both. I have an apple watch and autosleep if anyone is curious about the combo.

ncmncm 5y ago

This might be an unwelcome suggestion, but tell your doctor. This sounds very like depression, which is quite treatable. You need to know that there are at least six different illnesses all called depression. The only way known to figure out which you have is to try each treatment, in turn, to see which helps. Usually they start with one with few side effects, or that works fastest. Some people have more than one variety, or one plus anxiety, or attention disorder, or all three. (These might all be caused by industrial chemicals we are all exposed to nowadays, stuff our ancestors never encountered.) If the drugs work, but have side effects, know too that the side effects will tend to pass, with time.

fukmbas 5y ago

I blame MBA types. 10-15 years ago IT was fun, now that MBA leeches got word, they are infiltrating our industry and bloating it with middlemen and bogus ideologies like scrum and product. Get fucked

TylerE 5y ago

I know others have thrown out other things, but: Have you been tested for sleep apnea? What you describe sounds much like how I used to feel.

rubicon33 5y ago
For a while, I thought it might be sleep related too. Even though I've always gotten plenty of sleep (tracked), I wondered if the quality of that sleep was no good. So I had a formal sleep study done (where you bring home the thing and wear it). They found nothing wrong.

voldacar 5y ago

If you're constantly lethargic and tired, consider seeing an endocrinologist and having some tests done.

practicalpants 5y ago

Do you have money? Quit your job, go travel, go entrepreneurial pursuing something that moves you. Living in some San Francisco apartment, building a career at tech companies making 6 figures a year is, once you have some money, a pretty crappy wheel-spinning way to live life, by some opinions.

koonsolo 5y ago

Take a 1 hour walk outside every day. Your 'wasted' hour will be given back tenfold.

hedberg10 5y ago
*when the sun is the highest in the sky. Shirt off, if you dare. Start slow (don't be stupid and burn yourself). The energy is incredible. I walked about 20 miles this morning with the sun coming up before biking 6 miles to work and then back in the evening. And I know I'll have lots of energy to spare tonight. Yes we are warm blooded animals but still very dependent on the sun and activity.
- Liskni_si 5y ago
  20 miles is just 6 miles less than a marathon, and would take over 6 hours at the normal pace of 5 km/h. Is that really what you manage to do in the morning before work? :-O
  - hedberg10 5y ago
    Thank you for catching me. No, that is not what I walked :)
    - Liskni_si 5y ago
      So, um, was that a typo? Am I parsing your sentence wrong? Been waiting for an edit but it doesn't seem one is coming. :-)
      - josephjrobison 5y ago
        20 minutes

uvnq 5y ago

Try avoiding distractions. I find that on days I go without the internet (other than for work) I become significantly less motivated and work is way harder to start. Not sure if that's even your problem but if it is then I hope this helps.

ahD5zae7 5y ago

Apart from great comments already posted, please read about "long covid". I'm not sure if it's officially recognized yet but it's a strange illness lately and a large number of people suffer from it. One of most important symptoms is chronic fatigue. I'm fighting it since last year and one thing I can say is that the fatigue is different from anything I experienced in my 43 year life. It's crippling and even getting up requires effort. Caffeine in large doses helps somewhat but only to an extent. There's always been a "post viral fatigue syndrome" with many other viruses and it is a known phenomenon, maybe it's just a similar thing with Covid. Only it affects much more people I think. And most importantly you can get it after asymptomatic Covid, so you don't even know you had it.

otikik 5y ago

Does anyone in your family suffer from hypothyroidism? That, combined with depression (it's a spectrum) is what was getting to me. I've since changed some habits, I'm taking 1 small thyroid pill each morning and going to therapy once per week. I still feel tired and lacking in energy from time to time but I have improved.

bun_at_work 5y ago

You've probably heard it before, but exercise will help. It does so much good for mental and physical health, it's basically mandatory. After that, removing dopamine feedback loops (browsing the internet, social media, etc.) will help tremendously with motivation. After reading a number of books on psychology and behavior it has become clear that the adaptability of humans works for and against us. If you browse the internet you adapt to that type of mental effort, where fast, shallow patterns of thought and action are rewarded. Alternatively, reading books, exercising, working on hobby projects, etc, all train you to subdue the desire for immediate gratification, in favor of future gratification, which is more healthy and rewarding.

kadonoishi 5y ago

Very late to this, but: You sound like a machine built for a different set of circumstances. Wartime, or famine, or slavery; or most likely, a heavily religious society. I would guess you’re mostly nonreligious. But you have a lot of mechanisms left over in your personal acculturation from when religion was important for your ancestors. You took out the formal religion, because that’s not needed so much these days, but still have a lot of underlying mechanisms, like a conviction that there is such a thing as an ultimate answer, which made sense when the accepted ultimate answer was God. I would guess that you enjoy learning and regularly investigate new things, but one of the mechanisms that generates your motivation is actually an old outdated attempt to find God, which you are no longer trying to do. Rationally, you search for the limits of the set of ideas you’re currently investigating, find them, and move on, in accordance with modern liberal arts thinking. But there’s a twinge of disappointment because you were being driven partly by leftover religious mechanisms that were hoping for Ultimate Truth. The repeated disappointment of the old mechanism leads to tiredness, and a feeling that real meaning keeps not being there no matter how much you keep reading interesting things on the Internet. There may also be a buildup of resentment that your trust has been repeatedly betrayed. Just a thought this morning. I recognize a lot of what you’re saying. My parents were missionaries and it has proven impossible to escape all of those influences.

jadbox 5y ago
Friedrich Nietzsche has a similar outlook on society today. A good book I'd recommend: Warspeak: Nietzsche's Victory over Nihilism https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55904256-warspeak https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55904256-warspeak
rubicon33 5y ago
A very interesting perspective, thank you for posting it.