bradlys

65 ms·

661.
by bradlys 4y ago
I think “success” is also just code for class - to a large extent. People I’ve known who mention wanting someone “successful” were often looking for Ivy League, rich family, etc. It often had little to do with accomplishments of their own d
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by bradlys 4y ago
If only this was true. https://imgur.com/a/Ji6ZoMV Only Manhattan has more women living in it . Once you account for how many men come into the city at night and date women in Manhattan - it's kinda irrelevant. I
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by bradlys 4y ago
> Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to, and having an amazing career to snag a great woman is no longer the best (or even a good) strategy I disagree. It’s not that women don’t care about money as
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by bradlys 4y ago
Tall always helps. Imagine you were short and ugly - tall and ugly is a big improvement. Cosmetic surgery can improve ugly a little bit too. If you have all that money then you’re able to afford it as well. Even with little money - you ca
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by bradlys 4y ago
I’d also argue that for young men - unless you’re an absolute unit and breathtakingly handsome… you’re always going to need to make more than your partner for a long term relationship. Being a bartender or taking a lower wage job is a suref
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by bradlys 4y ago
Individual actions won’t really lead to any societal change though. Your change won’t change your future jobs. You need worker solidarity at a large class level.
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by bradlys 4y ago
The thing is - this stress isn’t any different than when you were single and alone. You were likely living at a standard of living that required you to keep your job. Now you’ve just got some people who are also dependent on you for it. It’
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by bradlys 4y ago
Probably just pivot into product. It won't ever take over my profession but it's a nice thought.
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by bradlys 4y ago
Exactly. People at FAANG would be rolling in sex partners instead of being incels. Money is not significant enough. It’s nice but it will not change outcomes for people who are unattractive otherwise.
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by bradlys 4y ago
Argentina also just has a lot of white people…
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by bradlys 4y ago
I can’t recall the last time anyone asked me about shit on my resume - tbh. It’s all kinda pointless. People do leetcode, system design, and then a (series of) manager interview(s). They don’t often ask me much about stuff directly from my
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by bradlys 4y ago
Yep. Although, statistically - this isn’t true. They’re not the majority since women make up only 20% of the Eng workforce. Leaving 3x as many men leftover.
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by bradlys 4y ago
I had dance moves. It helps with some women. It's a hell of a niche though.
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by bradlys 4y ago
I don’t get dates. That’s my point. I’m just too ugly, bub. I’ve already done some cosmetic surgery and do some other stuff to improve texture of the face (microneedling with a professional). It’s important. We underestimate how much looks
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by bradlys 4y ago
Honestly: The biggest issue I find is finding any women who are single to begin with. I do find women here and they do show up (especially compared to SF) but it’s still shit odds cause they’re always in relationships! It doesn’t help that
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by bradlys 4y ago
Absurd, most definitely. I got divorced about a year and a half ago. I’m 32 - for what it’s worth. In June, I left my job and SF. Put all my stuff in storage and went to the east coast for a month then went to Europe for 3 months. After all
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by bradlys 4y ago
Better parenting. Almost all of it stems from homelife, bub. Parents are notoriously shitty people.
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by bradlys 4y ago
What kind of places? Startups just don't pay the same amount. I'm not getting offers for $400k+ liquid from startups and most old corps, ever. Maybe you find one that pays half and that's about it.
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by bradlys 4y ago
Is the comp comparable to FAANG or is it a big step down? (At least in terms of liquid compensation) This is partially why I haven't been interviewing. All the big p(l)ayers have slowed down their hiring so much - why bother taking a r
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by bradlys 4y ago
People write them - they just don't gain traction. You also don't tend to write them with your name attached because that literally throws your own name down the drain. People are also not interested in hearing troubling stories b
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by bradlys 4y ago
You're not getting roles at FAANG or most any place in SV without doing leetcode.
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by bradlys 4y ago
As evident by my current habits - I'm far more willing to walk in the cold wind and workout at the gym for two hours than I am willing to do even one leetcode problem. I've been going to the gym 4-6x/week for the last couple
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by bradlys 4y ago
While I appreciate the long write out. The bar isn’t low for men. The bar is high. Swiping data alone shows this, man. I’m paying $250+/session for a dating coach just for online dating because the bar is so high - even though I’ve don
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by bradlys 4y ago
The solution is to be polyamorous - which many dating coaches are.
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by bradlys 4y ago
You’re always going to be seen as creepy until some woman doesn’t. That’s just the norms we have in society right now. You’re a threat until proven otherwise. Most social activities that involve strangers are also full of men. This is becau
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by bradlys 4y ago
Could also just be ugly or average looking. The truth is that most men get nothing from dating services. It’s only the top few percent of men who are getting substantial attention. Even then - of the friends I know who are getting some atte
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by bradlys 4y ago
I don’t really enjoy coding, software engineering, or the bullshit work dynamics around it. But they keep paying me hundreds of thousands of dollars (sometimes more) every year - so I do it anyway.
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by bradlys 4y ago
I have a lot of friends not in tech and even they were supportive and understood. That said - I had absolutely terrible (toxic) jobs that most people couldn’t last even half the time I was at.
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by bradlys 4y ago
Did you leave where you were living and retire to some other area? Most family and friends I’ve spoken to are completely fine and generally supportive. Even when I quit my $1m/yr job, people were like - “if it feels like prison and is
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by bradlys 4y ago
It’s just a realistic mindset. If you’re a man and quit working - you’re in the fast track to being broken up with. I don’t know why we act like gender norms don’t exist.

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