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Absurd, most definitely. I got divorced about a year and a half ago. I’m 32 - for what it’s worth. In June, I left my job and SF. Put all my stuff in storage a

Absurd, most definitely. I got divorced about a year and a half ago. I’m 32 - for what it’s worth. In June, I left my job and SF. Put all my stuff in storage and went to the east coast for a month then went to Europe for 3 months. After all that, I committed to getting a six month lease on an apartment in Manhattan. Been here since November. I haven’t worked at all. Maybe done a total of 20 leetcode problems but I spend way more time reading about layoffs and hiring freezes than interview prep. Mostly have spent my time at the gym, Broadway shows, meeting new people, and watching a lot of content online. I go out social dancing 5x/week and to the gym about the same amount. I’m trying to get better at yoga and getting a v-taper at the weights. I’d go out more but it’s hard to find the dances on some nights. (Sunday’s and Monday’s are particularly slow in nyc) The absurd part is that I’ve done all of this in hopes of meeting a fantastic woman and seducing her to come to SFBA where I can start a family, build a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and enjoy the region. It is quite absurd - mainly cause it has no chance in hell of working but it wasn’t going to work in SF either. We’ll see where I end up moving next - too ugly and too much melanin for Manhattan.

throwawayeng999 4y ago
New York, and Manhattan specifically, is uniquely difficult as a place to find a woman to settle down with! I'm sure you can do it, but don't be shocked if you find a lot of women are picky or career-focused and uninterested in serious relationships, or just averse to commitment!
- bradlys 4y ago
  Honestly: The biggest issue I find is finding any women who are single to begin with. I do find women here and they do show up (especially compared to SF) but it’s still shit odds cause they’re always in relationships! It doesn’t help that I’m the Dalit of the professional world. (Working in tech) Here, finance reigns king. Doctors and law are fine. Tech though? (Even if rich) May as well be a janitor. Status obsessed in this region. They don’t even think about the money. Tbh - the real issue though is that I’m just an ugly fuck with a hard to place racial makeup. I’m going to get some more cosmetic surgery in May/June because I need to do something to improve my odds if this isn’t working.
  - throwawayeng999 4y ago
    No way, don't make any changes to yourself cosmetically. Please observe carefully - confidence and communication skills win out. Even highly attractive men don't succeed well if they don't demonstrate these. And many dates are women testing these things (consciously or unconsciously; either way they'll articulate if someone seems insecure). Manhattan is bru-tal in that department. Tech is tech, it has a reputation as associated with men who are cold or uninteresting. But I'm increasingly meeting women working in tech. And if any woman is turned on by finance bros, consider it a good avoidance filter! Source: single 40somethjng with reasonable success with women (not long-term relationships) working as a techie in a financial services company. I've been here two decades now.
    - bradlys 4y ago
      I don’t get dates. That’s my point. I’m just too ugly, bub. I’ve already done some cosmetic surgery and do some other stuff to improve texture of the face (microneedling with a professional). It’s important. We underestimate how much looks matter for men to have success. No one has told me any surgeries or work that I’ve done was a bad idea. They all much prefer the after than the before. I don’t miss the mark when it comes to this stuff. I’m just ugly and not the right race. It sucks but is what it is. Modern dating.
  - strikelaserclaw 4y ago
    so you were married but now you are too ugly to get dates? Why did your previous wife marry you?
    - bradlys 4y ago
      I had dance moves. It helps with some women. It's a hell of a niche though.
bosch_mind 4y ago
Thanks for the transparent and interesting reply. Best of luck

throwawayeng999 4y ago

New York, and Manhattan specifically, is uniquely difficult as a place to find a woman to settle down with! I'm sure you can do it, but don't be shocked if you find a lot of women are picky or career-focused and uninterested in serious relationships, or just averse to commitment!

bradlys 4y ago
Honestly: The biggest issue I find is finding any women who are single to begin with. I do find women here and they do show up (especially compared to SF) but it’s still shit odds cause they’re always in relationships! It doesn’t help that I’m the Dalit of the professional world. (Working in tech) Here, finance reigns king. Doctors and law are fine. Tech though? (Even if rich) May as well be a janitor. Status obsessed in this region. They don’t even think about the money. Tbh - the real issue though is that I’m just an ugly fuck with a hard to place racial makeup. I’m going to get some more cosmetic surgery in May/June because I need to do something to improve my odds if this isn’t working.
- throwawayeng999 4y ago
  No way, don't make any changes to yourself cosmetically. Please observe carefully - confidence and communication skills win out. Even highly attractive men don't succeed well if they don't demonstrate these. And many dates are women testing these things (consciously or unconsciously; either way they'll articulate if someone seems insecure). Manhattan is bru-tal in that department. Tech is tech, it has a reputation as associated with men who are cold or uninteresting. But I'm increasingly meeting women working in tech. And if any woman is turned on by finance bros, consider it a good avoidance filter! Source: single 40somethjng with reasonable success with women (not long-term relationships) working as a techie in a financial services company. I've been here two decades now.
  - bradlys 4y ago
    I don’t get dates. That’s my point. I’m just too ugly, bub. I’ve already done some cosmetic surgery and do some other stuff to improve texture of the face (microneedling with a professional). It’s important. We underestimate how much looks matter for men to have success. No one has told me any surgeries or work that I’ve done was a bad idea. They all much prefer the after than the before. I don’t miss the mark when it comes to this stuff. I’m just ugly and not the right race. It sucks but is what it is. Modern dating.
- strikelaserclaw 4y ago
  so you were married but now you are too ugly to get dates? Why did your previous wife marry you?
  - bradlys 4y ago
    I had dance moves. It helps with some women. It's a hell of a niche though.

bosch_mind 4y ago

Thanks for the transparent and interesting reply. Best of luck