8 ms·

2 kids, 3 freelance gigs (full time at this), a couple startups behind me (1 pivoted away, 1 still running). I would love to get 5 hours for an OSX app I really

by rday 12y ago

2 kids, 3 freelance gigs (full time at this), a couple startups behind me (1 pivoted away, 1 still running). I would love to get 5 hours for an OSX app I really want to build. You really do have to shut out the rest of your life if you want to make a serious run at a project. When you are cramming a side project into you life, you really can "work" 80 hour weeks. The irritability you're experiencing will probably just get worse. I'm just starting to learn to cook. I began riding my bike last year. I'm 34. The grass is always greener of course. But it seems like you are enjoying a lot of the things I wish I had made time for earlier. Maybe shut out the art project. Turn your code into open source and let that be your art for the next few months.

bglazer 12y ago
Thanks. I don't even have kids yet. I'm still ~5 years from having little ones I'd imagine. Both of the people working with me on the project have kids, and I admire them (and you) tremendously for fitting everything in.
- blister 12y ago
  Once you have children, everything changes. I went from having 5+ hours of free time each day to -5 hours of free time every day. You have to get super efficient with everything in your life. Cut out the things that aren't the most important things. Kids (especially when they're between 0-7 years old) take up an enormous amount of energy and focus. You'll learn tricks to improve your performance and squeeze more time into the day. But the biggest thing that's worked most for me is staying up later than I normally would prefer. I get a few extra hours for passion projects and still get everything in the day accomplished that I'm required to accomplish. It's a tough slog. Immensely rewarding, but tough. Prepare yourself for the change in advance so that you don't go through the massive shock I experienced.
  - jtheory 12y ago
    Quite true; and it's oddly frustrating to me to notice how much time the pre-kids version of me wasted. There should be a way to borrow someone else's kids for 6 months or so, force yourself to carve the waste out of your life... and then wait another decade before having your own kids.
    - blister 12y ago
      Hah, I would have paid for that service. :)
  - tarellel 12y ago
    That's putting it down easy. I have 4 kids between 2 and 7, when at home I don't have very much free time at all. It seems like the best place to get stuff done is at work. So I always try to get everything done, so I'll have some productive me time in my office. It's sad to say going to work is where I get a break for myself. Don't get me wrong I love my children more than anything, but once you have children in order to get things done you really need to prioritize and compartmentalize things in your life.
  - seestheday 12y ago
    I have high hopes that the time I'm investing in my kids will not only benefit them, but long term will benefit me as well. At 5 my oldest son is doing a lot of small chores around the house. He just passed the tipping point of where I can spend less time giving him directions than it would have taken for me to just do the job myself. I see this scaling over time. A part of the "playing" that I do with him is building and repairing stuff around the home. He loves it. It takes much longer to complete anything that if I was just doing it myself, but I'm doubling up "play" and "chores" so it works out. For things that he can't help with I try to outsource. I like some of the ideas of past generations who often viewed kids as resources.
    - bottled_poe 12y ago
      I don't mean to offend, but have you considered what your child might think of you when they grow a bit older and find this comment?
      - seestheday 12y ago
        Ideally he won't think anything of it because I've spent so much time with him we're working side by side building his first business by that point.
        EdwardDiego 12y ago
        I'd be careful, the more expectation you load onto a child, the more they push back in the teen years.
      - AznHisoka 12y ago
        They'll probably thank him for raising him well, and teaching him/her the value of a good work ethic, rather than being spoiled and lazy.
joshdotsmith 12y ago
Speaking of side projects and learning to cook, I'm working on a side project that helps people learn to cook. Happy to share if interested.
- xhrpost 12y ago
  Does it happen to help with the attitude or process of cooking? It's probably the bachelor mentality in me but I honestly just hate cooking. The amount of time (purchase food, prep, cook, clean pots/pans) for a 5 minute meal when I could be, ya know, working on a side project, seems ridiculous. However, I do feel like I could eat a little more natural and better if I did cook more.
  - el_benhameen 12y ago
    It helps me to avoid recipes and instead come up with ideas based on my tastes and the things I have available. Going to the grocery store is then less about "shit, they're out of $ingredient" and more about "wow, the salmon looks really fresh this week". The actual act of cooking is the same--instead of focusing on following and mucking up someone else's recipe, I get to feel creative as I build something based on what sounds interesting. It's kind of like a mini side project. Alton Brown is probably not an ideal source for recipes for you since he really goes all-out with ingredients and prep, but he's a fun way to learn about the science of cooking. His methods are hacker-ish, and that he doesn't follow same-old-same-old recipes helped me to stop worrying about doing things the "right" way.
    - TeMPOraL 12y ago
      That approach sounds like something coming out of experience. I hope to reach that level one day; right now my mind just blocks when it starts thinking about composing ingredients, and I revert back to the two or three recipes I know. I wish I started cooking as a kid, I was less anxious to experiment then.
      - freebs 12y ago
whistlerbrk 12y ago
I want to share something here since not having enough time is a theme for me. As the child of immigrants I have a guilt about spending money - overcoming this I'm starting to look as money as a way to buy more time, so I don't feel bad a number of things e.g. getting healthy takeout (I still cook because I like it), having my laundry done for me, even buying software, etc. It's just efficient. I don't know if anyone else struggles with that but I'd like to put that out there. It means I have more time for projects and importantly (because of diminishing returns) more time to relax.
- rday 12y ago
  I try to do everything also (to a fault). I'm not first generation, but my wife's family has that mentality very ingrained. At the moment, I'm lucky enough to have some cash. I can hoard it in the bank, or I can spread it around. You should certainly save and look out for your family. But spending money is part of how capitalism builds a society. Don't feel guilty. Feel good that you can help.
  - mjwhansen 12y ago
    "spending money is part of how capitalism builds a society" This is a really important point. I'm currently reading The Rational Optimist (http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-Optimist-Prosperity-Evolves/dp/0061452068 http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-Optimist-Prosperity-Evolv...) which is about technology, innovation, and economic progress throughout history and one of his major points is that economies progress when people become more reliant on one another so they can focus on their specialty (ex., hire someone to do laundry because your time is most valuable coding). Economies in which people are self-sufficient are by definition less productive and innovative because there's less money flowing around and people are spending less time on the things they are comparatively better at. It's a slow start but a fantastic read (and a challenging one for a person who likes to be self-sufficient).
    - rday 12y ago
      Thanks for the link. I'm putting that one on my list. I like how you said "most valuable". My time isn't any more valuable then someone else's. I'm just most valuable writing code. Someone is else is most valuable cooking. Others are most valuable curing diseases.

by rday 12y ago

bglazer 12y ago

Thanks. I don't even have kids yet. I'm still ~5 years from having little ones I'd imagine. Both of the people working with me on the project have kids, and I admire them (and you) tremendously for fitting everything in.

blister 12y ago
Once you have children, everything changes. I went from having 5+ hours of free time each day to -5 hours of free time every day. You have to get super efficient with everything in your life. Cut out the things that aren't the most important things. Kids (especially when they're between 0-7 years old) take up an enormous amount of energy and focus. You'll learn tricks to improve your performance and squeeze more time into the day. But the biggest thing that's worked most for me is staying up later than I normally would prefer. I get a few extra hours for passion projects and still get everything in the day accomplished that I'm required to accomplish. It's a tough slog. Immensely rewarding, but tough. Prepare yourself for the change in advance so that you don't go through the massive shock I experienced.
- jtheory 12y ago
  Quite true; and it's oddly frustrating to me to notice how much time the pre-kids version of me wasted. There should be a way to borrow someone else's kids for 6 months or so, force yourself to carve the waste out of your life... and then wait another decade before having your own kids.
  - blister 12y ago
    Hah, I would have paid for that service. :)
- tarellel 12y ago
  That's putting it down easy. I have 4 kids between 2 and 7, when at home I don't have very much free time at all. It seems like the best place to get stuff done is at work. So I always try to get everything done, so I'll have some productive me time in my office. It's sad to say going to work is where I get a break for myself. Don't get me wrong I love my children more than anything, but once you have children in order to get things done you really need to prioritize and compartmentalize things in your life.
- seestheday 12y ago
  I have high hopes that the time I'm investing in my kids will not only benefit them, but long term will benefit me as well. At 5 my oldest son is doing a lot of small chores around the house. He just passed the tipping point of where I can spend less time giving him directions than it would have taken for me to just do the job myself. I see this scaling over time. A part of the "playing" that I do with him is building and repairing stuff around the home. He loves it. It takes much longer to complete anything that if I was just doing it myself, but I'm doubling up "play" and "chores" so it works out. For things that he can't help with I try to outsource. I like some of the ideas of past generations who often viewed kids as resources.
  - bottled_poe 12y ago
    I don't mean to offend, but have you considered what your child might think of you when they grow a bit older and find this comment?
    - seestheday 12y ago
      Ideally he won't think anything of it because I've spent so much time with him we're working side by side building his first business by that point.
      - EdwardDiego 12y ago
        I'd be careful, the more expectation you load onto a child, the more they push back in the teen years.
    - AznHisoka 12y ago
      They'll probably thank him for raising him well, and teaching him/her the value of a good work ethic, rather than being spoiled and lazy.

joshdotsmith 12y ago

Speaking of side projects and learning to cook, I'm working on a side project that helps people learn to cook. Happy to share if interested.

xhrpost 12y ago
Does it happen to help with the attitude or process of cooking? It's probably the bachelor mentality in me but I honestly just hate cooking. The amount of time (purchase food, prep, cook, clean pots/pans) for a 5 minute meal when I could be, ya know, working on a side project, seems ridiculous. However, I do feel like I could eat a little more natural and better if I did cook more.
- el_benhameen 12y ago
  It helps me to avoid recipes and instead come up with ideas based on my tastes and the things I have available. Going to the grocery store is then less about "shit, they're out of $ingredient" and more about "wow, the salmon looks really fresh this week". The actual act of cooking is the same--instead of focusing on following and mucking up someone else's recipe, I get to feel creative as I build something based on what sounds interesting. It's kind of like a mini side project. Alton Brown is probably not an ideal source for recipes for you since he really goes all-out with ingredients and prep, but he's a fun way to learn about the science of cooking. His methods are hacker-ish, and that he doesn't follow same-old-same-old recipes helped me to stop worrying about doing things the "right" way.
  - TeMPOraL 12y ago
    That approach sounds like something coming out of experience. I hope to reach that level one day; right now my mind just blocks when it starts thinking about composing ingredients, and I revert back to the two or three recipes I know. I wish I started cooking as a kid, I was less anxious to experiment then.
    - freebs 12y ago

whistlerbrk 12y ago

I want to share something here since not having enough time is a theme for me. As the child of immigrants I have a guilt about spending money - overcoming this I'm starting to look as money as a way to buy more time, so I don't feel bad a number of things e.g. getting healthy takeout (I still cook because I like it), having my laundry done for me, even buying software, etc. It's just efficient. I don't know if anyone else struggles with that but I'd like to put that out there. It means I have more time for projects and importantly (because of diminishing returns) more time to relax.

rday 12y ago
I try to do everything also (to a fault). I'm not first generation, but my wife's family has that mentality very ingrained. At the moment, I'm lucky enough to have some cash. I can hoard it in the bank, or I can spread it around. You should certainly save and look out for your family. But spending money is part of how capitalism builds a society. Don't feel guilty. Feel good that you can help.
- mjwhansen 12y ago
  "spending money is part of how capitalism builds a society" This is a really important point. I'm currently reading The Rational Optimist (http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-Optimist-Prosperity-Evolves/dp/0061452068 http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-Optimist-Prosperity-Evolv...) which is about technology, innovation, and economic progress throughout history and one of his major points is that economies progress when people become more reliant on one another so they can focus on their specialty (ex., hire someone to do laundry because your time is most valuable coding). Economies in which people are self-sufficient are by definition less productive and innovative because there's less money flowing around and people are spending less time on the things they are comparatively better at. It's a slow start but a fantastic read (and a challenging one for a person who likes to be self-sufficient).
  - rday 12y ago
    Thanks for the link. I'm putting that one on my list. I like how you said "most valuable". My time isn't any more valuable then someone else's. I'm just most valuable writing code. Someone is else is most valuable cooking. Others are most valuable curing diseases.