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There are some serious facts missing in the story here. When were his parents married? When was the half brother born? Was this a known fling? This was definite

There are some serious facts missing in the story here. When were his parents married? When was the half brother born? Was this a known fling? This was definitely something traumatic that happened, but we are left way too hanging for this to be an interesting story.

maxbrown 12y ago
I also found it strange that they were opening up (albeit anonymously) about something very personal, but not really telling the story in a way that could have engaged us more.
thisguyyy 12y ago
I don't think the author intended the piece to be a soap opera-level drama. Those details weren't accidentally left out.
- Sanddancer 12y ago
  The problem there is that lack of information gave way here to fairly extreme and charged claims. Elsewhere in the thread, there were people claiming that the half-brother was the result of adultery, which is pretty high up there on the soap opera scale. Not excising that from this article would have made it a better story.
DEinspanjer 12y ago
Another article linked at the end of this one mentions a bit more. It says the unknown son was conceived before the writer's mother and father got together and that part of the upset of the family was that the father wished to connect with this new-found son against the wishes of other family members.
- Sanddancer 12y ago
  Thanks for pointing that out. How that was laid out makes me rather frustrated at Vox because one would expect that the "full" article would be more detailed than a sidebar story in the much longer article about 23andme and the various ethical issues it creates for adopted people and adoptees. Instead, the linked article gives less of the story and the emotions surrounding it, leading more to confusion than anything else.
- soperj 12y ago
  I'm sorry, this is just insane then. Divorcing someone on the grounds that they had a child before you were ever together and didn't know about it? Sounds like bullshit. Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents.
  - voidlogic 12y ago
    >>Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents. In this situation I can imagine talking to my father about it, but talking to everyone else in a family was a decision he made. I'm not passing judgment either way, but he wasn't like he was passive here.
    - soperj 12y ago
      It's definitely not his fault, nor the fault of the test in question. No one should entertain a divorce based on circumstances from decades ago, and before you were even together. His parents aren't divorced because of the unknown son, nor his fathers natural inclination to contact him.
  - brazzy 12y ago
    If you think that's bullshit, you're not considering all the possible factor, or don't understand how a decades-old marriage works: through lots of compromises, that people sometimes feel unhappy about, but not enough to risk what they've gotten used to. So maybe the mother had felt (probably for years) that the father wasn't appreciating her enough. And now he's making more effort to connect with this unknown child than he's spent on his wife and other children in years... suddenly the pent-up dissatisfaction comes out into the open, grievances are aired and people say hurtful things that make reconciliation impossible...
    - seanmcdirmid 12y ago
      Or you know, it could have been a "final straw" type thing. Many marriages seem to be in fragile equilibrium.
  - 12y ago
- imaginenore 12y ago
  That doesn't make any sense. They are angry at the guy he had a child before they met, and he didn't even know he had a child. Sounds like they just wanted an excuse for a divorce. Or the story is bs.
  - toyg 12y ago
    The other article mentions that this process "uncorked" years of "repressed" feelings. Divorce is often the end product of a long process; it looks like in this case, the genetic discovery was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
  - nkozyra 12y ago
    Boy it's weird you should say this, because none of this story really rang true to me.
deleted 12y ago
[deleted]
jobu 12y ago
From the other article (http://www.vox.com/2014/9/9/6107039/23andme-ancestry-dna-testing http://www.vox.com/2014/9/9/6107039/23andme-ancestry-dna-tes...): When George figured out his dad had conceived this child before getting married — that the child was not the result of adultery — he was excited. "I thought it was the coolest genetics story, my own personal genetics story. I wasn't particularly upset about it initially, until the rest of the family found out, and their reaction was different." His mother and sister could not handle the information, and his father went against their wishes, dedicating himself to reconnecting with his estranged son. "Years of repressed memories and emotions uncorked and resulted in tumultuous times that have torn my nuclear family apart. We're not anywhere close to being healed yet, and I don't know how long it will take to put the pieces back together."
- toomuchtodo 12y ago
  So it wasn't honesty that was the problem, its was people's emotions.
  - fleitz 12y ago
    The facts are rarely in question, always the emotions. It's like soldiers, no one questions that they conspire to kill people, it's whether they are heros or murderers.
  - metacorrector 12y ago
    It wasn't infidelity that was the problem, it was honest emotions.
  - hyperliner 12y ago
    More than emotions, it was that their lives were being affected in some form: something else was being added to it that was not there when they decided to enter into a relationship. Particularly for the mother, she basically entered into a relationship without all the facts known. Maybe she would have decided differently at the beginning. Personally, I am not sure why the sister is so upset. It's just another sibling, which should bring happiness. But in a world where lawsuits are common, maybe she also feels threatened (sharing of inheritance, for example?). I think it is fair that the mother is upset. She has to deal with more "baggage." But I don't think this is worth divorcing over. Things must not have been that solid for this to end up in divorce. A strong marriage should have survived this.
mmaunder 12y ago
Not sure that's relevant - that's the reality show part of the story. The point is the product that 23andme sells and the risk associated with it is not understood by their customer. In this case it's lead to a family break-up and therapy for the author.
michaelochurch 12y ago
Maybe in the sixth book we will learn that R+L=J and it will all be made OK.
fsloth 12y ago
I think the meat of the article is not the human drama that ensued, but the fact that there was an online service, and a button in the UI, that caused far more greater effect to the life of the whole family than just sating 'George's curiosity. Like there was a hypothetical Amazon order form that had an innocent radio button at the end with the legend 'Order free drone strike to the recipients address'.
fsloth 12y ago
I think the meat of the article is not the human drama that ensued, but the fact that there was an online service, and a button in the UI, that caused far more greater effect to the life of the whole family than just sating 'George's curiosity. Like there was a hypothetical Amazon order form that had an innocent radio button at the end with the legend 'Order free drone strike to the recipients address'.

maxbrown 12y ago

I also found it strange that they were opening up (albeit anonymously) about something very personal, but not really telling the story in a way that could have engaged us more.

thisguyyy 12y ago

I don't think the author intended the piece to be a soap opera-level drama. Those details weren't accidentally left out.

Sanddancer 12y ago
The problem there is that lack of information gave way here to fairly extreme and charged claims. Elsewhere in the thread, there were people claiming that the half-brother was the result of adultery, which is pretty high up there on the soap opera scale. Not excising that from this article would have made it a better story.

DEinspanjer 12y ago

Another article linked at the end of this one mentions a bit more. It says the unknown son was conceived before the writer's mother and father got together and that part of the upset of the family was that the father wished to connect with this new-found son against the wishes of other family members.

Sanddancer 12y ago
Thanks for pointing that out. How that was laid out makes me rather frustrated at Vox because one would expect that the "full" article would be more detailed than a sidebar story in the much longer article about 23andme and the various ethical issues it creates for adopted people and adoptees. Instead, the linked article gives less of the story and the emotions surrounding it, leading more to confusion than anything else.
soperj 12y ago
I'm sorry, this is just insane then. Divorcing someone on the grounds that they had a child before you were ever together and didn't know about it? Sounds like bullshit. Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents.
- voidlogic 12y ago
  >>Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents. In this situation I can imagine talking to my father about it, but talking to everyone else in a family was a decision he made. I'm not passing judgment either way, but he wasn't like he was passive here.
  - soperj 12y ago
    It's definitely not his fault, nor the fault of the test in question. No one should entertain a divorce based on circumstances from decades ago, and before you were even together. His parents aren't divorced because of the unknown son, nor his fathers natural inclination to contact him.
- brazzy 12y ago
  If you think that's bullshit, you're not considering all the possible factor, or don't understand how a decades-old marriage works: through lots of compromises, that people sometimes feel unhappy about, but not enough to risk what they've gotten used to. So maybe the mother had felt (probably for years) that the father wasn't appreciating her enough. And now he's making more effort to connect with this unknown child than he's spent on his wife and other children in years... suddenly the pent-up dissatisfaction comes out into the open, grievances are aired and people say hurtful things that make reconciliation impossible...
  - seanmcdirmid 12y ago
    Or you know, it could have been a "final straw" type thing. Many marriages seem to be in fragile equilibrium.
- 12y ago
imaginenore 12y ago
That doesn't make any sense. They are angry at the guy he had a child before they met, and he didn't even know he had a child. Sounds like they just wanted an excuse for a divorce. Or the story is bs.
- toyg 12y ago
  The other article mentions that this process "uncorked" years of "repressed" feelings. Divorce is often the end product of a long process; it looks like in this case, the genetic discovery was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
- nkozyra 12y ago
  Boy it's weird you should say this, because none of this story really rang true to me.

deleted 12y ago

[deleted]

jobu 12y ago

From the other article (http://www.vox.com/2014/9/9/6107039/23andme-ancestry-dna-testing http://www.vox.com/2014/9/9/6107039/23andme-ancestry-dna-tes...): When George figured out his dad had conceived this child before getting married — that the child was not the result of adultery — he was excited. "I thought it was the coolest genetics story, my own personal genetics story. I wasn't particularly upset about it initially, until the rest of the family found out, and their reaction was different." His mother and sister could not handle the information, and his father went against their wishes, dedicating himself to reconnecting with his estranged son. "Years of repressed memories and emotions uncorked and resulted in tumultuous times that have torn my nuclear family apart. We're not anywhere close to being healed yet, and I don't know how long it will take to put the pieces back together."

toomuchtodo 12y ago
So it wasn't honesty that was the problem, its was people's emotions.
- fleitz 12y ago
  The facts are rarely in question, always the emotions. It's like soldiers, no one questions that they conspire to kill people, it's whether they are heros or murderers.
- metacorrector 12y ago
  It wasn't infidelity that was the problem, it was honest emotions.
- hyperliner 12y ago
  More than emotions, it was that their lives were being affected in some form: something else was being added to it that was not there when they decided to enter into a relationship. Particularly for the mother, she basically entered into a relationship without all the facts known. Maybe she would have decided differently at the beginning. Personally, I am not sure why the sister is so upset. It's just another sibling, which should bring happiness. But in a world where lawsuits are common, maybe she also feels threatened (sharing of inheritance, for example?). I think it is fair that the mother is upset. She has to deal with more "baggage." But I don't think this is worth divorcing over. Things must not have been that solid for this to end up in divorce. A strong marriage should have survived this.

mmaunder 12y ago

Not sure that's relevant - that's the reality show part of the story. The point is the product that 23andme sells and the risk associated with it is not understood by their customer. In this case it's lead to a family break-up and therapy for the author.

michaelochurch 12y ago

Maybe in the sixth book we will learn that R+L=J and it will all be made OK.

fsloth 12y ago

I think the meat of the article is not the human drama that ensued, but the fact that there was an online service, and a button in the UI, that caused far more greater effect to the life of the whole family than just sating 'George's curiosity. Like there was a hypothetical Amazon order form that had an innocent radio button at the end with the legend 'Order free drone strike to the recipients address'.

fsloth 12y ago