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I'm quite certain this is a cultural difference. What you find to be rude or inattentive is considered polite in some European countries. For a waiter to be app

I'm quite certain this is a cultural difference. What you find to be rude or inattentive is considered polite in some European countries. For a waiter to be appearing at the table often, unsummoned, is rude in Germany, for example. If you want the waiter, so etiquette says, you'll summon him/her.

tomsaffell 13y ago
Seconded. As a Brit living in the US I often find US waitstaff's behavior intrusive. In particular, the 'is everything OK?' asked five minutes after the main course is served always bemuses me, especially when it interrupts someone talking. It's cultural for sure.
- bluedino 13y ago
  The reason they come back right after delivering the food is so they can make sure your meal is as you ordered. Is something cold or taste especially bad? Was the wrong sauce or filling used by the cook?
  - fragmede 13y ago
    Everyone understands that as the reason for it, but it doesn't make it less rude or overbearing. If I have a problem with the food, I'll get a waiters attention - perhaps with a snap of my fingers - which is expected and not at all rude and let the waiter know. Snapping my fingers at the waiter isn't something I'd ever do in the US though.
    - rmc 13y ago
      Finger snapping would be viewed as rude in Ireland & UK as well.
  - MaysonL 13y ago
    In other words, they trust neither their own ability to take the order correctly, nor the kitchen staff's ablility to fulfill.
    - proofofconcept 13y ago
      More like they are accounting for any source of human error which is impossible to completely eliminate even with a top-quality staff.
    - statictype 13y ago
      Yes. And unit tests are only for programmers too sloppy to get everything right the very first time, all the time.
      - Dylan16807 13y ago
        I expect code to be wrong. I expect writing to have minor flaws. I expect a sandwich to be a sandwich. Mistakes that aren't noticed by the time all the food is handed out should be rare, and there's no problem in flagging someone down in that case.
- dalyons 13y ago
  I'm an aussie and I find it really annoying as well. Definitely cultural. Be polite & friendly at point of order, and then stay out of the way. A reply below you says its to make sure you got what you ordered, etc. I could count on a few fingers the times ive ever got the wrong thing/meal, and then you just ask.
- mdda 13y ago
  The primary reason they do this is less altruistic, though. Once you've agreed that the meal (as presented) is satisfactory, you're on the hook to pay the bill.
  - sejje 13y ago
    Bar/restaurant owner here, and I assure you, this is NEVER the reason we check on the table.
- Gormo 13y ago
  As an American living in the US, I also find the "is everything OK?" interruption to be especially annoying. One thing I've noticed, though: this happens in chain restaurants regularly, but in smaller, independent restaurants only rarely. It's not really cultural: I think it's a product of the disconnect that naturally occurs when people without any feet-on-ground presence are making policies to be followed by the staff, and the other end of the feedback loop isn't isn't in place.
wnoise 13y ago
How do you summon them? Just shout across the restaurant?
- mythealias 13y ago
  not sure if you are trying to be sarcastic or just lack experience. while you can always shout or call out politely, you can also waive at the passing server (it doesn't have to be the one that served you). and if you find shouting too crude you can just excuse yourself from the table and walk to the waiter. at most restaurants the servers are on standby if their guests need any attention, but that does not require them to show up at the table to check if you enjoying your meal.
  - NegativeK 13y ago
    I don't think it's a common experience in America. I was eating at an Italian restaurant in Miami. Two beachgoers came in a bit after me, stared at the menu for 15 minutes, and left in a huff. Even if they had looked around the restaurant in a grumpy "where the fuck is our waiter" manner, he would've been at their table in 10 seconds. The normal hover/frequent checkup behavior of American waiters and waitresses seems to be counter to this in almost all ways. It seems as though the rounds they make to check on everyone makes it much harder to get their attention when needed, in comparison to a waiter who stands back and watches.
    - ripter 13y ago
      In america, if a waiter doesn't come to your table within the first 15 min of you sitting down, then there is something wrong. It shouldn't take more than a min or two for the waiter to come over, give you some water, and introduce themselves.
      - kybernetikos 13y ago
        Introduce themselves? That's exactly the kind of cultural thing I think people are talking about. I'm not here to be taken on a 'journey' by the server, I'm here to eat good food and enjoy the company that came with me. A good server is one you barely notice.
speeder 13y ago
http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01077.htm http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01077.htm
rmc 13y ago
Yeah sometimes the "overtly polite" and very smiley and friendly attitude I get from (the small amount of interaction) with American service staff just seems so fake and saccarine at times.

tomsaffell 13y ago

Seconded. As a Brit living in the US I often find US waitstaff's behavior intrusive. In particular, the 'is everything OK?' asked five minutes after the main course is served always bemuses me, especially when it interrupts someone talking. It's cultural for sure.

bluedino 13y ago
The reason they come back right after delivering the food is so they can make sure your meal is as you ordered. Is something cold or taste especially bad? Was the wrong sauce or filling used by the cook?
- fragmede 13y ago
  Everyone understands that as the reason for it, but it doesn't make it less rude or overbearing. If I have a problem with the food, I'll get a waiters attention - perhaps with a snap of my fingers - which is expected and not at all rude and let the waiter know. Snapping my fingers at the waiter isn't something I'd ever do in the US though.
  - rmc 13y ago
    Finger snapping would be viewed as rude in Ireland & UK as well.
- MaysonL 13y ago
  In other words, they trust neither their own ability to take the order correctly, nor the kitchen staff's ablility to fulfill.
  - proofofconcept 13y ago
    More like they are accounting for any source of human error which is impossible to completely eliminate even with a top-quality staff.
  - statictype 13y ago
    Yes. And unit tests are only for programmers too sloppy to get everything right the very first time, all the time.
    - Dylan16807 13y ago
      I expect code to be wrong. I expect writing to have minor flaws. I expect a sandwich to be a sandwich. Mistakes that aren't noticed by the time all the food is handed out should be rare, and there's no problem in flagging someone down in that case.
dalyons 13y ago
I'm an aussie and I find it really annoying as well. Definitely cultural. Be polite & friendly at point of order, and then stay out of the way. A reply below you says its to make sure you got what you ordered, etc. I could count on a few fingers the times ive ever got the wrong thing/meal, and then you just ask.
mdda 13y ago
The primary reason they do this is less altruistic, though. Once you've agreed that the meal (as presented) is satisfactory, you're on the hook to pay the bill.
- sejje 13y ago
  Bar/restaurant owner here, and I assure you, this is NEVER the reason we check on the table.
Gormo 13y ago
As an American living in the US, I also find the "is everything OK?" interruption to be especially annoying. One thing I've noticed, though: this happens in chain restaurants regularly, but in smaller, independent restaurants only rarely. It's not really cultural: I think it's a product of the disconnect that naturally occurs when people without any feet-on-ground presence are making policies to be followed by the staff, and the other end of the feedback loop isn't isn't in place.

wnoise 13y ago

How do you summon them? Just shout across the restaurant?

mythealias 13y ago
not sure if you are trying to be sarcastic or just lack experience. while you can always shout or call out politely, you can also waive at the passing server (it doesn't have to be the one that served you). and if you find shouting too crude you can just excuse yourself from the table and walk to the waiter. at most restaurants the servers are on standby if their guests need any attention, but that does not require them to show up at the table to check if you enjoying your meal.
- NegativeK 13y ago
  I don't think it's a common experience in America. I was eating at an Italian restaurant in Miami. Two beachgoers came in a bit after me, stared at the menu for 15 minutes, and left in a huff. Even if they had looked around the restaurant in a grumpy "where the fuck is our waiter" manner, he would've been at their table in 10 seconds. The normal hover/frequent checkup behavior of American waiters and waitresses seems to be counter to this in almost all ways. It seems as though the rounds they make to check on everyone makes it much harder to get their attention when needed, in comparison to a waiter who stands back and watches.
  - ripter 13y ago
    In america, if a waiter doesn't come to your table within the first 15 min of you sitting down, then there is something wrong. It shouldn't take more than a min or two for the waiter to come over, give you some water, and introduce themselves.
    - kybernetikos 13y ago
      Introduce themselves? That's exactly the kind of cultural thing I think people are talking about. I'm not here to be taken on a 'journey' by the server, I'm here to eat good food and enjoy the company that came with me. A good server is one you barely notice.

speeder 13y ago

http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01077.htm http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01077.htm

rmc 13y ago

Yeah sometimes the "overtly polite" and very smiley and friendly attitude I get from (the small amount of interaction) with American service staff just seems so fake and saccarine at times.