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The secrets of body language
- malcolmmcc 13y agoI typically dance to music that makes me feel cool while walking to job interviews. So far it has worked really well.
- blindhippo 13y agoThe fun part is watching people actually try to control their body language in reality. You can try, but if you aren't feeling what that "power pose" is broadcasting, you'll just look like an idiot to anyone even remotely paying attention. You aren't going to gain leadership by leaning back and spread eagling in a business meeting. You're going to gain it by being an actual leader and doing stuff that adds value to an organization.
- jessriedel 13y agoI sort of agree. I find that avoiding bad sorts of physical signals is definitely useful, but consciously instantiating new signals in a convincing way is (surprisingly) very difficult. That said, there are a few people who are really good at this stuff. One technique is based more on directly altering your mood rather than consciously positioning your body, and some people just seem better able to manipulate their mood than others.
- JabavuAdams 13y agoThere's some overlap between leadership and not caring too much what others think. The stereotypical brash alpha-male behaviours aren't necessarily affected. They can stem from just not even considering for a moment that you're not entitled to succeed, or to do as you please. While this can be annoying, it's also magnetic.
- analyst74 13y agoWhat I've noticed after years of trying to hack my emotional give-away, is that it's really hard to fake being confident when you're nervous, especially around people who know you for a while. However, when dealing with people who don't know you, you can easily fake being important or nobody, for a short period of time. This is not always useful, and could backfire (especially if you are "elevating" your power), but I've found some limited scenarios where altered first impression gives you an edge.
- nandemo 13y ago> The fun part is watching people actually try to control their body language in reality. You can try, but if you aren't feeling what that "power pose" is broadcasting, you'll just look like an idiot to anyone even remotely paying attention. The article describes a scientific (?) experiment that goes counter that intuition.
- losethos 13y agoI noticed eye contact in a video. Seduction is an art. Not relevant to me. God says... 2:14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him. 2:15 And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him. 2:16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? 2:17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. ----- LOL Jesus was charismatic! Damn! Got people to drop everything! Life was crappy back then a running around preaching was fun. Body language. What does your conscience tell you? To me is seems slightly like cheating. If you don't think that, do it. I don't agree with this, but it's a thought "How does a real man know when a woman is having an orgasm? He doesn't care." ------ God says... fourteen days. 8:66 On the eighth day he sent the people away: and they blessed the king, and went unto their tents joyful and glad of heart for all the goodness that the LORD had done for David his servant, and for Israel his people. 9:1 And it came to pass, when Solomon had finished the building of the house of the LORD, and the king's house, and all Solomon's desire which he was pleased to do, 9:2 That the LORD appeared to Solomon the second time, as he had appeared unto him at Gibeon. 9:3 And the LORD said unto him, I have heard thy prayer and thy supplication, that thou hast made before me: I have hallowed this house, which thou hast built, to put my name there for ever; and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually. ---- The entertainment value of the bombing is right up there with gladiators. I think God shrugged at gladiators as sports. I think He pays more attention to Afganstan than pro football. It's not ghoulish when you are God -- life and death is more important and you have sure seen a lot of it. ---- God says... 1:4 Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the LORD, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward. 1:5 Why should ye be stricken any more? ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. 1:6 From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. 1:7 Your country is desolate, your cities are burned with fire: your land, strangers devour it in your presence, and it is desolate, as overthrown by strangers. 1:8 And the daughter of Zion is left as a cottage in a vineyard, as a lodge in a garden of cucumbers, as a besieged city. ---- This crime scene investigator is new, foreign and I don't like it. It's Stazi and pathetic. Come-on! Too much CSI. The news people think they can get ratings. Maybe, Obama and CIA are doing something. I never understood Bush logic. You get shit that is just not sensible.
- jpdoctor 13y agoThis is great stuff as long as you like people who breath their own exhaust. As soon as you encounter someone who is not speaking the same language, there will be great confusion. Usually, this means anyone from outside of MBA/Marketing/ or other art-of-BS type disciplines.
- jff 13y agoThe whole thesis of the article is that body language is automatic and ingrained, even in people born blind.
- callmeed 13y agoI feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzword. Also Zed Shaw had an interesting take on putting your feet on the table, but the link appears to be dead now. See: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1235791 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1235791
- oliverhunt 13y agoExactly, the basis for research like this is entirely social.
- jessriedel 13y ago> Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective This is in conflict with the continued usefulness of timeless classics like "How to win friends and influence people".
- RivieraKid 13y agoIt can also become quite awkward, especially the physical copying.
- Mithrandir 13y agoWayback Machine has the article: http://web.archive.org/web/20101222093524/http://oppugn.us/posts/1270132724.html http://web.archive.org/web/20101222093524/http://oppugn.us/p...
- securetoken 13y agoLots of gems in here: https://www.inkling.com/read/dummies-body-language-elizabeth-kuhnke-2nd/chapter-8/building-defensive-barriers https://www.inkling.com/read/dummies-body-language-elizabeth...
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- a_p 13y agoBody language experts are trained to look for groups of behaviors. Often, certain behaviors such as crossed arms could just mean the subject is cold. It is also hard to judge someone's body language after you have just met them; it is much better to compare their behavior to the "baseline" of their normal behavior. That is because certain behaviors are not innate but learned unconsciously from parents, relatives, close friends, and is also dependent upon regional culture. If you want to learn about body language, you should spend a lot of time practicing watching several different people and finding groups of behaviors that signal their respective moods before you start to start to make inferences with confidence. It is helpful to watch people from different cultures or different classes so that you may see how much variation there is. Otherwise, decisions made with little knowledge and practice is actually harmful because your inferences will likely be wrong. "You should never cross your arms again" may be good advice, but only because you can then guard yourself from people that overestimate their powers of observation.
- felideon 13y agoGood point. For example, I tend to lean forward (with forearms on the table) out of respect. It shows I'm interested but I can see how it could be misconstrued as a nervousness, or 'low-power'.
- JabavuAdams 13y agoBut isn't giving respect low-power? If you're the alpha, others give you respect, and you do as you please. I'm exaggerating, obviously, but respect is a form of deference. Deference is low-power.
- bjcy 13y agoI disagree. If you're the alpha, others give you respect, but this doesn't imply that you can't show respect to others. Respect is not only a form of deference. It is also a form of understanding.
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- cracell 13y agoThis article doesn't address the "why you should never cross your arms again" that is in it's title at all.
- civilian 13y agoHere's the TED talk from the researcher herself: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes...
- scoot 13y agoWow, amazing! Here's the youtube version without the audio sync issues: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc
- Aurel1us 13y agoCame here to post that link. One of the best TED talks ever!
- nicolasd 13y agoHaha, I wanted to post that link too ;) Especially the "Fake it till you make it" - principle is interesting
- cema 13y agoSeveral years ago one of the universities (University of Maryland College Park) had an almost official motto: "Act like you know". It does work, surprisingly, to a substantial degree.
- gingerlime 13y agoNice writeup. Interesting to see quite a few of those from buffer covering some interesting research into stuff that affects our lives. there's little typo in 'Our nonverbals gove(r)n' though...
- D9u 13y agoWhen I saw the word "than" used in place of "then," my estimation of the author plummeted, even though I agree with most of the article.
- doki_pen 13y agoI hate it when people put their feet up on tables, especially near my person. If you did that around me I'd just think you were an asshole.
- felideon 13y agoIf you read carefully, the post advises doing this -before- the meeting, when no one is around, to pump up your hormones.
- pfarrell 13y agoPerhaps you are unconsciously responding to the "power move"? I had a boss who would routinely show up late to sales calls _we_ were making. We were the salesmen; we'd show up 10 minutes late. He said it was classic power strategy. Make them think they're waiting on you. I was pissed, back then. Today, I'm less incredulous and wonder if he was on to something.
- jonahx 13y agoI'd just ask you to grab me a coffee
- solistice 13y agoAs a great practical guide to reading and applying body language, I'd recommend "What everybody is saying" by Dave Navarro. Guy used to do body language analysis for the FBI afaik, and then wrote a book about it. http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294 http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d... Concerning the body language tips the article recomends, I think everyone except arms crossed behind head is covered for in the book. Arm akimbo, crossed legs, etc. As a personal tip, I'd give the thumbs up. No, like actually stretch your thumbs out when you walk around or talk to people, and leave them out of your pockets. It's ok to put the rest of the hand in, but the thumbs stay out. Ahh, and if you're arguing, even if you want to, don't start undressing yourself, no matter how angry you are. 2 people arguing and taking jackets and shirts off usually means business you don't want to be part of neccesairily.
- robbyking 13y agoJoe Navarro also wrote an excellent book on how to read poker tells called "Read 'em and Reap." The books emphasises the importance of identifying behavioral patterns and recognizing deviations due to stress/confidence.
- Evbn 13y agoWhich is in direct contradiction to OP's claim that everyone on Earth has the exact same set of tells.
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- InvisibleCities 13y agoby Dave Navarro I think you mean Joe Navarro, unless the guitarist from Jane's Addiction and RHCP has led a far richer life than I previously imagined.
- solistice 13y agoI always get his name wrong, sorry for that. Yes, Joe Navarro.
- visionpol 13y agoI know that body language and customs are different, but I wanted to point out that in some Asian cultures, arm-crossing is done as a sign of respect, especially towards elders. It's a source of confusion and amusement for older people when the Western-integrated young people get angry. That said, one should keep an eye out for more than just nonverbal cues, as telling as they may be.
- knome 13y agoIt would make sense that a "powerless" gesture taken in deference to another is seen as a sign of respect.
- ForrestN 13y agoTwo things I am wondering: First, what does it mean that these poses, these concepts ("power" as the desirable mode of relating to your coworkers for example) and even the key hormone we are meant to incite are so gendered? The poses are more essentially masculine than they are powerful. Have you ever seen a woman naturally with in the arm-around-the-chair pose, hips slunk forward and chest back? It would look quite unusual I think. As an employer, I'm not sure I want to select for testosterone (and I don't think I have so far). But maybe there is more to it. Second, does it matter that attention is zero-sum? I would suggest that to ve convincing the author doesn't need to merely argue that body language manipulation is helpful, but that it is more helpful than, say, listening carefully, or preparing that much more for an interview, or even studying and thinking about human psychology more directly. You can only keep track of so many dimensions at once, and I'm not sold on the idea that I would benefit from privileging this dimension. Maybe I would, but that case hasn't been made for me yet.
- egypturnash 13y agoI took burlesque dance lessons for a while. There was some time spent discussing posture and its use; I learnt some ways of standing that would make me look confident and sexy. There were some strong similarities to these "power poses" - but trust me, they were very, very feminine.
- Geee 13y agoHmmm.. With poses you can broadcast your 'negotiation position', but I don't think it's appropriate to try to look like you're on the winner's side if you're not. Makes some sense in some situations like interviews though.
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- molecule 13y agoI can't locate the reference, but I've read, and observed, that if you want to verify that the person w/ whom you're conversing is paying attention to you, cross your arms: if the other person crosses their arms also, then they're paying attention to you.
- Evbn 13y agoOnly if they are trying to sleep with you and have reqd a PUA book.
- angersock 13y agoOh God, I can see it now, startup pickup artistry: "Yeah, I negged that investor twice and then escalated kino, and then popped the termsheet. You're a beginner--try a cold-open with a Paul Graham story and look for indicators of interest." Yuck.
- e12e 13y agoA couple of points: 1) As far as interviews are concerned (or any dialogue) mirroring might get you further than power -- eg: when your interviewer crosses his/her arms, you might gain an advantage doing the same - whatever the "power poses" theory says. I suppose it is like language: Short, conscience sentences might be "powerful" or "commanding" -- but that alone doesn't make for effective prose in all cases. No communication without context. 2) Sitting in a room for two minutes, relaxing, convinced that you're doing a "power poise" -- might elevate your hormone levels. I'm sure screaming a battle cry, or doing a haka would work to. Not sure if it is just the poise in itself that helps with the levels. Would be interesting to do a reverse test: tell people that a "low power" position is actually a "power position" and vice versa -- and redo the experiment. I highly doubt we've got strong evolutionary ties to sitting with our feet up on a swivel chair. 3) The point about blind athletes -- so you imply blind people don't have socialized behaviour? Thankfully you don't have to live in an isolation chamber just because you're blind. [edit: formatting x2]
- powrtoch 13y agoRe: #2, My understanding of the experiment is that they simply had people assume poses, and then measured their hormone levels. If they really did tell them up front whether the pose was intended to make them feel powerful, that would certainly be an egregious mistake in the methodology, but that wasn't the impression I had from hearing the TED talk. Actually, I wonder if you could even pull of that version of the experiment without the participants seeing through it ("No really, shrinking into your chair and looking at the floor is a great display of power!").
- e12e 13y agoI didn't really mean to imply that that's how the experiment was initially performed -- or that there's no correlation between poses and hormone levels. I was more wondering if the results could be replicated with different poses (and a different context). Then again, if people already "know" that the poses are (relatively) high or low power (hence are able to "see through" false explanations in an alternative study) -- perhaps the mental state is more important than the actual pose.
- reeses 13y agoImpro: Improvisation and the Theatre (http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-Johnstone/dp/0878301178 http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-John...) has a great section on communicating status through body language and movement. It describes a number of exercises where one actor takes the role of a superior and the other an inferior. The techniques are quite effective for the intended audience. I would quote from it but I had a paper copy and it's really only worth running through once a decade for a non-actor interesting in the physical aspect of acting.
- pasquinelli 13y agoif you actually have power, you can sit however you like, amirightoramiright?
- CatMtKing 13y agoI'm learning taijiquan: one of the key concepts is the alignment of the body posture to allow energy to enter the meridians. Health and emotion are both influenced by posture.
- jjuliano 13y agoI believe that we humans can also detect fake and unnatural body language. What I don't like about is when people try to be impressive and poses a fake and unnatural body language to convey a certain scenario or meaning. Body language is all about the meaning of the messages they convey and the GENUINE emotion they are experiencing. It should not be faked, for the purpose of conveying a meaning or a make believe scenario. It should begin with the message itself, it should begin with the actual emotion itself. - Focus first on having a meaningful means of being confident, before you actually become, convey and exudes great confidence. - Focus first on having a meaningful message, before actually forcing people that you have a meaningful and convincing message. Winners have a genuine emotion for winning, so they actually have a real winning body language. It is not fake, and it is very convincing, and people will be drawn by the same emotions the winner is experiencing via the winner's genuine body language. I have encountered several people doing unnatural body language, they want people to believe that they are confident speakers but their message is so unconvincing, it does not gel and it is really annoying and is painful to watch.
- altrego99 13y agoAll I can say is don't fake it. If you want to do a body language, feel it from within - instead of simply rearranging your arms and legs.
- marcosdumay 13y agoOne of the pieces of research he cites (the one I've actualy read :) concludes that faking it will make it easier for you to feel it from whithin.
- kyllo 13y agoThis is the actual definition of "cargo cult" behavior. It's getting cause and effect backwards because you don't understand their relationship, and trying to imitate the effect in the futile hope that it will cause the cause. People who sit all relaxed like that do so because they have power. They don't have power because they sit like that, and sitting like that will not magically confer power to you.
- rtkwe 13y agoThe bits about the hormonal changes do seem cargo cultish, but there are some merits in the idea of 'projecting' with your body language. Act more confident -> Appear more confident -> Be treated differently -> Actually be more confident.
- egypturnash 13y agoHere's some anecdata. I took burlesque dance classes for a while. One of the things taught in this class was how to look confident, because projecting confidence is also pretty damn sexy. Curiously enough, as I started learning these postures and using them, I found myself becoming a lot more confident. This was not something anyone told me to expect; it just sort of happened. It's spread out over a lot of how I move and behave, even when I'm not explicitly turning it on. You are not a mind riding on top of a body. You are your body. And your body has a lot of weird feedback mechanisms that can be exploited.
- thatthatis 13y agoTwo weird feedback exploits I like: 1) smiling can lead to feeling happy 2) deep slow breathing can lead to feeling calm
- jvm 13y agoIf you read the article, they actually do an experiment and show via random assignment that assigning the posture actually causes the outcome (in this case, job interview success). They didn't show the mechanism, but they did in fact show the direction of causality.
- everyone 13y agoThe title of this is complete bullshit! Did the writer actually read the study hes referencing? One of the conclusions is that crossed arms is meaningless!
- Evbn 13y agoWhich gets more clicks: spreading a rumor or refuting it? Link bait is a classic "power pose".
- zeteo 13y agoThis kind of article doesn't address the issue known as Chesterton's fence [1]. If so-called "low power" poses are so bad for you, why have they survived evolution? Why do we have such strong ingrained impulses to assume them in the first place? "Experts" need to give a very, very convincing answer to this question before urging us to abandon such poses. Anecdotally, I've often been with groups of engineers where everyone was assuming "low power" poses. The discussion seemed to flow more constructively in such circumstances; it was as though everyone admitted that they didn't know the right answers. They felt free to submit very rough ideas because everybody else was just as ignorant and not in a position to shoot them down. Enter a "confident" program manager, however, and the group quickly devolved into silence and/or banalities; everyone felt reluctant to express opinions that they didn't feel completely certain about. [1] http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/2012/03/chesterton-fence.html http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/2012/03/chesterton-fe...
- mamoswined 13y agoFrom the perspective of primate social structures, the "low power" poses are incredibly important. For a male chimpanzee who doesn't have the physical strength or social clout to defend himself, adopting a submissive posture in the presence of higher ranking male can mean the difference between being tolerated and being beaten up. In a modern environment, I would hope that your boss would not beat you up for adopting a dominant posture, but it does raise the question about whether or not these can lead to an aggression or submissive behavior from other people in meetings. It might be wiser to neutral pose.
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- zeteo 13y agoCrouching, having your arms crossed etc. doesn't mean "don't beat me up". Sure, you might not be completely confident, but there's a long way from there to submissive. And, as I mentioned above, is it necessarily such a good social signal to fake confidence all the time?
- nbudden 13y agoGreat article. If anyone's interested I've got a video course on how to improve your body language. The course is 100% free and you can register at: http://gobodylanguage.com http://gobodylanguage.com
- JDGM 13y agoSomething I find immensely troubling about these studies is that examples of high status body language are frequently things that I personally find extremely obnoxious or social-norm breakingly rude, to the point that I have often called people out on it. The feet on the table one, for example. To what extent is that signaling high-status simply because it's a very rude thing to do? Is it implausible that a study might come out one day arguing that picking one's nose or scratching one's arse in front of someone is high-status body language for the reason that it is disrespectful to the other party therefore must signal a confidence in the asymmetry of power? I know it's not quite the same, but certainly as a teacher if my students don't sit "properly" on their chairs then I'll make clear that is unacceptable. The older they get, the better they should know, and the harsher I'll be. I've even sent students out of the room for it. In situations where my higher status isn't assumed, the "calling out", however, does not have to be verbal. This picture in particular http://blog.bufferapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Screen-Shot-2013-04-17-at-4.50.09-PM.png http://blog.bufferapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Screen-... annoys me just to look at it, and reminds me of formal occasions when someone has been sitting like that and I have conspicuously adjusted my own position so I am sitting straight-backed and upright. I can't remember a time when they haven't broken the pose and adjusted their position likewise. Sometimes it might take an uncomfortable moment of silence, but they will break it. Am I adopting higher-status body language than them and they are keeping up? Maybe, but I don't think so - I believe sitting neatly and smartly in response to their pose just makes them (an adult) feel rather silly and they adjust to nullify that feeling. I mean, if you were being interviewed for a job by someone sitting in one of these supposedly "high-status" but actually pretty damn rude positions, you wouldn't think the interview had even begun yet, would you? Having read other replies in this thread, perhaps I'm wrong, and this means in monkey times (technical term) I'd be the male who beat up the other male for signaling challenging body language - and I doubt I would have lasted long given repeat trials. However, I don't think of it like that. It is simply a matter of respect and etiquette. I'm not the one lying back on my chair or exposing my crotch. "Sit properly!" My experience of social-norms is informed by growing up in middle class England and spending a long time living in Japan. I accept that in both cultures signaling deep understanding of what is polite is the higher-level currency of status. In other parts of the world, and for lower social strata, I appreciate it can be very different. Additionally, in the picture I linked, the fact that the first guy is exposing his feet is probably actually more egregious to my sensibilities than his pose. If he were wearing a suit and smart shoes I think I would respect him more and consider the pose acceptable, I suppose in some way "earned". As it stands, there's just something very - and I realise I may be about to lose anyone on my side up to this point - "punchable" about his face... A final point is that while I find myself in many situations where these displays are considered vulgar, to the point that they counter-signal by betraying a lack of etiquette-knowledge, they do seem to play an important role in the "game" of socialising. I instinctively feel like a "douche" laying my arm across an empty chair next to me or positioning my legs in a way that suggests what is between them is enormous, yet I'll do it anyway when the situation is right and I'll justify it the same way I would "show off" dancing or playing an instrument. But not at work: http://youtu.be/sEtQj9wuqhs?t=42s http://youtu.be/sEtQj9wuqhs?t=42s.
- hbi99 13y agoHow can anyone wearing flipflops strike a power-pose? LOL