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Hire HN: Designer for simple dating site
Hey HN,
I'm looking for a designer to help shape a small dating website I'm working on.
You should be knowledgeable in Python/Ruby/Perl/PHP/SQL/LISP/C/C#/.NET/CSS/HMTL/JS/Ajax and have at least 5 years experience with each. But really, CSS/HTML/JS/Ajax is fine too.
If you're interested, I'd like to see some of your past work.
You're more than welcome to reach me at kyro@kyrobeshay.com / kyro at irc.freenode.net #startups / kyrobeshay on AIM.
Thanks.
- swombat 18y agoHow insensitive! I have 5 years of experience with Python/Ruby/Perl/PHP/SQL/LISP/C/C#/.NET/CSS/HMTL/JS/Ajax, but now I feel totally over-qualified for this gig.
- joe_the_user 18y agoJokes and real job advertisements are a REALLY, REALLY bad combination. Remember, you are joking about the real prospects for someone's future...
- gruseom 18y agoRight, no one would ever want the prospect of humor in their future.
- yan 18y agoA Python/Ruby/Perl/PHP/SQL/LISP/C/C#/.NET/CSS/HMTL/JS/Ajax/COBOL/ARM assembly/INTEGRITY OS/PMP/Oracle/Solaris/Forth/FreeBSD Rockstar Ninja!
- aaronblohowiak 18y agoHmmm, but you don't have any SAP or PeopleSoft experience, so how do we know you can handle real enterprise apps?
- yan 18y agoI can handle real enterprise apps because I'm a lean six sigma black belt, clearly.
- aaronblohowiak 18y agoSix Sigma Black Belt vs Scrum Master ... a battle to the deathmarch.
- RossM 18y agoWhat? No MUMPS experience?
- chiffonade 18y agoOfficiated by the ISO-9001 Referee.
- larrykubin 18y agoI remember when I applied for a student job in the computer lab at my university. My resume was loaded with skills related to Electrical Engineering and software development since that was the degree I was pursuing. In the interview, the lady asked "What software applications do you know how to use? Are you familiar with Office? Do you know how to use a scanner?" and many similar questions. I didn't get the job :(. Of course, I should've tailored by resume for the job, but I figured it was a given that I would know how to use Office.
- domdelimar 18y agoIf only you could have tailored your resume for the interviewer...
- BigCanOfTuna 18y agoI'm your man! If hired, my remuneration should be $100.000 a year/25% bonus/matching 401k contributions/limousine service/catered lunch/flexible work hours/office with window/personal secretary. But really, the $100,000/year is fine too.
- aaronblohowiak 18y ago$100k/year would not be overpaying a highly talented designer.
- vaksel 18y agoseems like everyone and his sister wants to start a dating site, someone should just come up with a CMS solution and sell it for $299/mo.
- GavinB 18y agoThere are several. Dolphin is one: http://www.boonex.com/products/dolphin/ http://www.boonex.com/products/dolphin/
- mroman 18y agoI can think of several right off the bat.
- there 18y agoand then create a mashup to combine the profiles from all of the various niche sites into one, so it actually has enough users to be effective.
- fizx 18y agouser: kyro, created: 708 days ago, karma: 1505 Eh, a little over the top on that ad, but he's actually a an active member of the the community, so the ad's not just another drive-by. Cut a little slack?
- run4yourlives 18y agoYou'd think after all that time he would have learned something about the community.
- aaronblohowiak 18y agoWould <joke></joke> tags have been more appropriate ?
- run4yourlives 18y agoYes, coupled with a submission form action prefaced by www.reddit.com.
- deleted 18y ago[deleted]
- peterhi 18y ago708 days. Has HN been around that long! Doesn't feel like it, and personally if he does have 1505 karma then I doubt the value of karma as a measure of 'worth' (or whatever the hell it is for). The last ad was a drive by, in that he couldn't be bothered to answer the questions put to him, and I suspect that this will be the same.
- kyro 18y agoI'm almost always available in the irc room if you really want to chat. I put up my contact details for a reason.
- mroman 18y agohmmm A "designer" "knowledgeable in Python/Ruby/Perl/PHP/SQL/LISP/C/C#/.NET . . . JS" sounds interesting. I think what you are looking for is a developer. Also, watch the "simple" in the title, the word "simple" in a description like that usually translates to "we are scum, and want to rip you off by suckering you into believing the job is straightforward, which it will be be anything but, and even if it was, we will make sure it isn't, I mean, we want to see you work for the pittance we will eventually pay you, you technology people have it too easy! what do you mean you are going to charge me FIFTY DOLLARS to just sit there and press a couple of keys?"
- peterhi 18y agoHey be careful there. Last time I pulled this guy up for his bullshit my karma went negative. There are people here who thinks that he is some sort of rockstar ninja fighter pilot sniper beast of a entrepreneur who's twitter/craigslist mashup is going to set the world on fire.
- chiffonade 18y agoI have no idea why you're being downmodded, that description is hilariously cynical.
- korch 18y agoThank you for your extension of job oportunity. Firm my am working with have many done dozens of dating sites of clients on rentacoder.com, scriptlane.com and others. Complete dating site, best feature, turn key, all satisfied guarantee. Our team of 47 programmers in Mumbai waiting to start for your command. Total cost will be $150 USD.
- korch 18y agoAlso need to mention we can have the complete job done in 6 days.
- swombat 18y agoWon't fly. Can you not do it in 3 days? We need to launch soon. Also, we can only afford $75.
- paraschopra 18y agoAlso, don't think 47 programmers would be enough for this project. We need atleast a hundred.
- omfut 18y agoHi korch: Iam working on some features for which i might need web programmer. Please send me your contact details to geekupate at gmail com.Will discuss more.
- physcab 18y agoI might pay for a good grad school dating site
- khangtoh 18y agoPardon me.. but why is this on the front page?
- deleted 18y ago[deleted]
- kyro 18y agoI guess there's some confusion as to whether this is a legitimate post. It's real. I'm really looking for a designer. Forgive my attempt at humor as that part may have come across as a real requirement. That's not the skill set I'm looking for, but css/html/js/ajax is. Sorry again for any confusion.
- sosuke 18y agoI had to re-read the posting a few times before catching the real skill-set listing at the end of the joke portion. For what it's worth the "is it a joke/real job posting" and follow-up joke replies has kept your posting on the first page for some time. I would consider it an accidental success.
- joe_the_user 18y agoDo you mean web designer or web programmer? The skills you list are for a web programm and an HTML programmer respectively. Designer sometimes have HTML skills but are primarily oriented to creating the look of a site, often using photoshop images. Programmers implement an existing look. Html programmers create static pages and web programmers create dynamic pages. There some designers who will do their Html but most designers wouldn't put Html forward as their primary skill (I believe). Just to help you clarify your search...
- chiffonade 18y agoI didn't know this was a joke until I read the comments. Call me jaded.
- jmtame 18y agoDear Sirs: We have studied your project description and we will develop your website with unique and eye-catching style in functions , and in look . as we have designed so many sites ,so we are sure that we would provide the best solution for your needs. We have enough expertise in asp ,.net, sql, flash, multimedia , e-commerce, java, ajax, etc. We can give you a package of $125.00 if you take a decision within this week. Rest assured of full satisfaction for which we would strive We do not merely speak of satisfaction... we assure escorted delivery of satisfaction with "EXCELLENCE". We have already pitched for your valued business. We would appreciate if you could provide us your contact details. We look forward to working together with you on this project. [taken from an actual proposal i've received on elance]
- tapiwa 18y agoWhy would a designer need to know all that. Troll right?
- ahoyhere 18y agoI get your joke. But... you want a designer but don't list design - of any type - as a desired skill? Mmmmmkay.
- dw0rm 18y agoI'm willing to work, but would you hire a Russian? :)