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Well, I used to think like that too. Then I became slightly more spiritual, and the very idea of this sort of behavior is bothering, upsetting, irritating. But
by ekr 15d ago
Well, I used to think like that too. Then I became slightly more spiritual, and the very idea of this sort of behavior is bothering, upsetting, irritating. But it mostly evokes pity. Like becoming aware of someone hurting him/herself in some way.
The way I see it, sex is a sort of portal to another world. This sounds a bit weird, but it really does and should have a great deal of meaning behind it, as it is/was central to our species. If it becomes mundane for someone, this really does ruin a lot of that person's life. Even if you completely remove the judgment element. If sex doesn't occur in the context of a love relationship, it's just uncanny territory. It comes with some emptiness.
There's a proper and healthy way to live. This is from my life experience. Stray too much off-course and you will experience consequences. It's just the way things are.
- thevinter 15d agoThis sounds incredibly judgemental and imposing of your own world view and moral compass
- bandie91 15d agowhat is so "incredibly" and "imposing" in the parent comment, that saying «my experience is…», «i feel more in it than many imagine/expect», «factually ruins many lifes», and «it just seem working this way», even «remove the judgment element» ?? it is as gently and friendly of a warning as it could be. i would say rather less nicely: people! don't be degenerate! it does not worth it. it causes harm to you, to neighbours, to bystanders too, even if you dont intend.
- freehorse 15d agoWell OP claiming they get "bothered, upset and irritated" by people having "rape kinks" and "pitying them" sounds kind of judgemental to me. Same goes with "don't be degenerate" for sexual behaviours you do not approve that, somehow, also harm one's neighbours for some reason.
- pigpop 15d agoSomething being judgemental is not a reason to dismiss it.
- freehorse 15d agoImo judgemental as in starting from "my life experience" and getting to that's "how to live" is a reason to dismiss it as an argument, as others may have different life experiences and yours is not universal.
- preg_match 15d agoIt is when there’s no concrete reasoning behind it. The reasoning provided here is “well I don’t like it, therefore it must be bad!” That kind of thinking would be acceptable if we were like… 8 years old. But as an adult, having that reasoning process is embarrassing.
- tuesdaynight 15d agoHow having lot of sex would cause harm to my neighbours?
- stickfigure 15d agoPuritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.
- MC995 15d agoI'm sure OP would argue that the breakdown of the family structure and social cohesion has a deleterious effect on society as a whole, which includes your neighbors.
- tuesdaynight 15d agoIt's really a hard time for freedoms, huh?
- krageon 15d agoThey might get sad because they feel like they're missing out
- deinonychus 15d ago>There's a proper and healthy way to live. dude straight up said other people are Doing Life Wrong
- pigpop 15d agoYes and indulging this appetite is much like any other, a good comparison being the other fundamental one: hunger. I think that also frames it in a way that makes it more concrete as to what the negative aspects are as well as showing that total abstinence is not necessarily an unalloyed virtue. If you don't eat at all you will starve but you can easily eat too much or eat the wrong things and it becomes gluttony at the extremes. Coming up with systems that allow you to cheat the negative aspects also turns pathological in the long run. Deadly sins exist even without the religious framing but the spiritual, social and psychological aspects are very real regardless of what anyone professes to believe.
- krageon 15d agoYou've made a hypothesis, provided no basis for it, blew past that and built some more conclusions on top of it. Along the way you introduced a few more unsubstantiated thoughts. The post in it's entirety reads as a religious rant, but it might have had something to offer to the reader if you had bothered to provide some sort of philosophical foundation for why you feel that the middle way is the superior way. And that all excess is inherently not only nearly identical in terms of effect, but by definition harmful.
- pigpop 13d agoThere's basically zero content to your reply so I'm ignoring it.
- tuesdaynight 15d agoAmazing how people come with all these rationalizations instead of just accepting that they are not the kind of people who like casual sex. There's nothing wrong or unhealthy about casual sex, it's just not for you. You can have your loving sex all your life, nobody will force you to have casual sex. About orgies, it bothers me how much people who never frequented these circles have so many opinions about how bad or unhealthy they are. I know religious people who have the "healthy sex life" and are completely deranged. I could say that they are that way because of their sex life, but I would be as wrong as you are.
- suburban_strike 15d agoSome of us have spent countless nights with other kids locked in the basement during parents' swinger parties and/or been there and done it ourselves as adults and found it to be as much an empty experience as the parent poster suggests. Molestation victims also frequently report the same sentiment. Removing love from the equation turns the act of sex into mechanical fluid exchange, and the participants into human livestock. Promiscuous people are as annoying as those who refuse to eat at the same restaurant twice. You have an insatiable appetite for novelty that you need to see normalized in others-- to defer ever having to face the very emptiness we're describing. If you actually found it fulfilling, you wouldn't need to sell others on something that sells itself.
- JimmyBuckets 15d agoThank you for sharing your personal experience. Not only is what you said compelling, but it again highlights the importance of experience as a path to knowledge. Rationality is brittle and cannot access much of the vastness of human experience.
- tuesdaynight 15d agoYou had a shitty childhood, I'm sorry. About the rest, I guarantee you that it's just not for you. No problem in that, but don't be mad that other people like the lifestyle. There's nothing unhealthy in that. You can be as puritan as you want, nothing unhealthy as well!