4 ms·

Alan's Random Insult Generator (1999)

ljiljana 21d ago
Y2K Certified too!
DamnInteresting 23d ago
I found this in a dusty corner of my code archive, and it made me laugh, and thought it might do the same for others. I wrote this when I was first learning a fancy new language called "Javascript." Apologies for the juvenile humor. Sometimes NSFW.
- deleted 21d ago
  [deleted]
- nstents 21d ago
  Reading Damn Interesting every day, I had no idea. Someone used your insults on AOL, or something like that, repeatedly. Thank you for the laughs.
whacked_new 21d ago
This is great! I remember being extremely impressed by Boris Johnson's "great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies" insult. How does one come up with such a string of words? I would've used this as a study resource.
- deleted 21d ago
  [deleted]
- YeGoblynQueenne 21d ago
  >> How does one come up with such a string of words? By spending all day thinking about them instead of running a country.
zwaps 21d ago
Hey, don’t copy my daily affirmations
specproc 21d ago
Now that's what I call programming.
bityard 21d ago
The modern web seems to know nothing about it at this point, but back when CGI scripts were a new curiosity, there was a Shakespearean Insult Generator which was popular and quite a lot of fun.
- ButlerianJihad 21d ago
  Altho' it be not a living CGI script, mayhap the Internet Archive shall regale us with nigh-on 250 bespoke insults, plucked from the very copper tendrils of ye olde webbe: https://web.archive.org/web/19990515000000*/http://www.webweaving.org/ https://web.archive.org/web/19990515000000*/http://www.webwe... Thou unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane !
- throw0101a 21d ago
  See perhaps Shakespearean Insults Mug: * https://philosophersguild.com/products/shakespearean-insults-mug https://philosophersguild.com/products/shakespearean-insults... * https://www.amazon.com/Shakespearean-Insults-Coffee-Mug-Shakespeares/dp/B0038TYV7I/ https://www.amazon.com/Shakespearean-Insults-Coffee-Mug-Shak...
- psunavy03 21d ago
  Wow. It's been probably 20 years since I thought of that thing . . .
deleted 21d ago
[deleted]
srean 21d ago
They have a nice ring and cadence. One could string some of them along into a Pythonic poem to be recited from castle tops.
ChrisMarshallNY 21d ago
I won't link it, here (the last time I did, it got flagged), but look up Guy Macon's Insult File. Not a single word that would have tripped the content filters of the time.
mrweasel 21d ago
While it has now be retired, I was also partial to the "Theo" mode in mg for insults. https://cvsweb.openbsd.org/checkout/src/usr.bin/mg/Attic/theo.c?rev=1.152 https://cvsweb.openbsd.org/checkout/src/usr.bin/mg/Attic/the...
Scoundreller 21d ago
I'm partial to this complaint generator, on the internet since 1994 and semi-regularly updated since: https://www.pakin.org/complaint https://www.pakin.org/complaint here's a 1 paragraph complaint about Dang (which will be different on every load): https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=&firstname=Dang&middlename=&lastname=&suffix=&gender=m&shorttype=f&paragraphs=1 https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=&firstname=Dang&middle...
- tosti 21d ago
  https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=Mr.&firstname=Anderson&gender=m&paragraphs=3&shorttype=f https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=Mr.&firstname=Anderson...
- SiempreViernes 21d ago
  Amazing, 100% real human complaint according to a state of the art* AI detection method! *: Ranked 2 on the google proxy I used, as the best SEO optimister just refused to return a result at all.
citizenfishy 21d ago
I wrote this many years ago:- https://apps.repebble.com/rude-time_543459b072a84da55500004c https://apps.repebble.com/rude-time_543459b072a84da55500004c
sehugg 21d ago
I wrote a conversational insult generator in AppleSoft BASIC, inspired by a program called "Abuse" that I saw advertised in a magazine, and of course by Eliza.
karim79 21d ago
I know we could easily code this by scraping but I would like to see an official REST API for this inspired service.
daoboy 21d ago
So glad to see this preserved. It was sad to discover zombocom finally died an undignified death earlier this year.
- arthurcolle 21d ago
  Zombo still works
  - daoboy 21d ago
    The domain was purchased and redesigned. It still exists but lost something ineffable in the process.
    - sphars 21d ago
      Along with all the other wonderfully, nonsense, single-purpose sites we've lost over the years. Some documented here: https://theuselessweb.com/sites-we-lost/ https://theuselessweb.com/sites-we-lost/
stblack 21d ago
Presaged the President of the United States, 27-years ago.

Y2K Certified too!

I found this in a dusty corner of my code archive, and it made me laugh, and thought it might do the same for others. I wrote this when I was first learning a fancy new language called "Javascript." Apologies for the juvenile humor. Sometimes NSFW.

deleted 21d ago
[deleted]
nstents 21d ago
Reading Damn Interesting every day, I had no idea. Someone used your insults on AOL, or something like that, repeatedly. Thank you for the laughs.

whacked_new 21d ago

This is great! I remember being extremely impressed by Boris Johnson's "great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies" insult. How does one come up with such a string of words? I would've used this as a study resource.

deleted 21d ago
[deleted]
YeGoblynQueenne 21d ago
>> How does one come up with such a string of words? By spending all day thinking about them instead of running a country.

zwaps 21d ago

Hey, don’t copy my daily affirmations

specproc 21d ago

Now that's what I call programming.

bityard 21d ago

The modern web seems to know nothing about it at this point, but back when CGI scripts were a new curiosity, there was a Shakespearean Insult Generator which was popular and quite a lot of fun.

ButlerianJihad 21d ago
Altho' it be not a living CGI script, mayhap the Internet Archive shall regale us with nigh-on 250 bespoke insults, plucked from the very copper tendrils of ye olde webbe: https://web.archive.org/web/19990515000000*/http://www.webweaving.org/ https://web.archive.org/web/19990515000000*/http://www.webwe... Thou unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane !
throw0101a 21d ago
See perhaps Shakespearean Insults Mug: * https://philosophersguild.com/products/shakespearean-insults-mug https://philosophersguild.com/products/shakespearean-insults... * https://www.amazon.com/Shakespearean-Insults-Coffee-Mug-Shakespeares/dp/B0038TYV7I/ https://www.amazon.com/Shakespearean-Insults-Coffee-Mug-Shak...
psunavy03 21d ago
Wow. It's been probably 20 years since I thought of that thing . . .

deleted 21d ago

[deleted]

srean 21d ago

They have a nice ring and cadence. One could string some of them along into a Pythonic poem to be recited from castle tops.

ChrisMarshallNY 21d ago

I won't link it, here (the last time I did, it got flagged), but look up Guy Macon's Insult File. Not a single word that would have tripped the content filters of the time.

mrweasel 21d ago

While it has now be retired, I was also partial to the "Theo" mode in mg for insults. https://cvsweb.openbsd.org/checkout/src/usr.bin/mg/Attic/theo.c?rev=1.152 https://cvsweb.openbsd.org/checkout/src/usr.bin/mg/Attic/the...

Scoundreller 21d ago

I'm partial to this complaint generator, on the internet since 1994 and semi-regularly updated since: https://www.pakin.org/complaint https://www.pakin.org/complaint here's a 1 paragraph complaint about Dang (which will be different on every load): https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=&firstname=Dang&middlename=&lastname=&suffix=&gender=m&shorttype=f&paragraphs=1 https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=&firstname=Dang&middle...

tosti 21d ago
https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=Mr.&firstname=Anderson&gender=m&paragraphs=3&shorttype=f https://www.pakin.org/complaint?title=Mr.&firstname=Anderson...
SiempreViernes 21d ago
Amazing, 100% real human complaint according to a state of the art* AI detection method! *: Ranked 2 on the google proxy I used, as the best SEO optimister just refused to return a result at all.

citizenfishy 21d ago

I wrote this many years ago:- https://apps.repebble.com/rude-time_543459b072a84da55500004c https://apps.repebble.com/rude-time_543459b072a84da55500004c

sehugg 21d ago

I wrote a conversational insult generator in AppleSoft BASIC, inspired by a program called "Abuse" that I saw advertised in a magazine, and of course by Eliza.

karim79 21d ago

I know we could easily code this by scraping but I would like to see an official REST API for this inspired service.

daoboy 21d ago

So glad to see this preserved. It was sad to discover zombocom finally died an undignified death earlier this year.

arthurcolle 21d ago
Zombo still works
- daoboy 21d ago
  The domain was purchased and redesigned. It still exists but lost something ineffable in the process.
  - sphars 21d ago
    Along with all the other wonderfully, nonsense, single-purpose sites we've lost over the years. Some documented here: https://theuselessweb.com/sites-we-lost/ https://theuselessweb.com/sites-we-lost/

stblack 21d ago

Presaged the President of the United States, 27-years ago.