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Tesla Balance Bike
- throw03172019 3mo agoCan’t wait to see these with “F Elon” stickers in San Francisco.
- alterom 3mo ago....Why?!
- alterom 3mo agoSeriously though. Musk promises self-driving cars, hyperloops, tunnels, and what they actually deliver is... a †balance bike*?! Satire is dead, because I can't imagine a worse self-own.
- crote 3mo agoSame reason the Musk Corporate Universe does everything else: because Elon woke up and thought it would be cool.
- Cthulhu_ 3mo agoWhich would be fine I think if the company was otherwise successful. But the only thing preventing its complete downfall at this point is the high import taxes on the Chinese EV competition, and the only reason for said high import taxes is market protection. But while Europe and the US desperately try to protect their own markets, the rest of the world - you know, the other 7.5 billion people - is a potential customer.
- mDyJzDPmBdG 3mo agoI mean at least it is transportation adjacent. Tesla flamethrower on other hand ...
- Ekaros 3mo agoThey don't even have dealers that could throw this stuff in instead of real discount...
- Cthulhu_ 3mo agoBecause they failed to get any other working new products to the market. Tesla semi? new roadster? Updates to their existing models? Tunnels? All announced years ago, nothing released. Cybertruck is the only released new product that made some waves, and it failed, did not meet sales targets, definitely does not meet any requirements for a truck. Less than 100K sold, 20% of which to Musk's own companies (https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2026-05-05/how-many-cybertrucks-has-tesla-sold-to-public-far-fewer-than-you-might-think https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2026-05-05/how-many-c...).
- reaperducer 3mo agoTesla semi? Well, that did make it to market. One of them killed two people near Reno recently. https://electrek.co/2026/07/01/tesla-semi-first-fatal-crash-nevada/ https://electrek.co/2026/07/01/tesla-semi-first-fatal-crash-...
- mlvljr 3mo ago[dead]
- SwellJoe 3mo agoEvery bike is a balance bike. That's how bikes work.
- sudobash1 3mo agoI believe it is called that because it is meant for learning to balance on a bicycle (as opposed to training wheels which, as commonly used, are mostly helpful in learning to pedal, but not balance). There are many other brands of "balance bike". The term is generic enough that it got its own Wikipedia page about 20 years ago.
- da-x 3mo agoHow about for grownups? Those old ICE motorcycles are still making city centers noisy and it would be nice to start phasing them out with electric.
- epolanski 3mo agoThis isn't electric, it's a balance bike for kids you push it with your feet. In any case there's endless electric bikes on shops.
- eloisant 3mo agoThere are plenty of electric motorbikes already, problem is those guys WANT it to be noisy.
- aa-jv 3mo agoElectric motorbike rider here. I had to tape a whistle to my helmet to prevent ignorant pedestrians from stepping right in front of me ..
- CamelCaseName 3mo agoThis is pretty cool, but seems like a massive waste of time for Tesla.
- epolanski 3mo agoIt's between odd and creepy, not sure where the cool is.
- LewisVerstappen 3mo agoIf your reaction to this is that it’s odd/creepy, that says more about you than it does the bike.
- turtlesdown11 3mo ago[dead]
- elil17 3mo agoIt is completely in-line with their strategy to become a lifestyle brand for tech-savvy conservatives: https://shop.tesla.com/category/lifestyle https://shop.tesla.com/category/lifestyle (That's pretty normal for a car company - many car brands have a lifestyle department).
- ErroneousBosh 3mo agoI was just thinking, I'm surprised they haven't started making ludicrously expensive road bikes with like 9-spoke wheels and oval carbon-fibre frame tubes, and not just bluetooth gears but brakes too because it saves a gram off the frame weight. The overlap between Tesla arseholes and roadie arseholes is probably considerable. No, Preston, the yellow lambswool jumper that cost as much as a second-hand Fiat is not making you faster. Take it off, you look like a tit.
- Ekaros 3mo agoThey really should go and buy out Reevo. Or rebrand their bikes. E-Bikes with perfect futuristic design (almost non-functional). Would be right up their alley.
- foco_tubi 3mo agotechnically this is a hobby-horse, not a bike
- giamma 3mo agoThis is a balance bike meant to attract the dads who are fans of the brand rather than a balance bike meant to be good for kids. First the handlebar is too large for small hands and comes with no grips, second the top tube is too wide to be comfortable between the legs and the whole frame is just edges. If you want a good balance bike look for brands like prevelo [0] or woom [1] who have been designing kid bikes for years. [0] https://prevelo.com/products/alpha-zero https://prevelo.com/products/alpha-zero [1] https://woom.com/en_INT/balance-bikes/self-balancing-bike/wow?variant=pop-peach https://woom.com/en_INT/balance-bikes/self-balancing-bike/wo...
- postepowanieadm 3mo agoWoom is the best - not only when it comes to balance bikes, but also real bikes. As they really are bikes. Other, even serious, brands make kids' bikes that are just too heavy. Also, Woom keeps it's re-selling value very well, much better than anything what Tesla makes.
- actionfromafar 3mo agoTesla makes the most exquisitely hyped stock available on the market.
- giamma 3mo agoI agree, my sons learned cycling on woom bikes. They were the only brand in Europe that offered brake levers for small hands and crank arms with appropriate length.
- ludicrousdispla 3mo ago>> attract the dads who are fans of the brand I'm surprised they haven't yet released a cyber-grill.
- thih9 3mo agoThere was a weed burner[1] if that helps. Technically boring though. [1]: https://www.boringcompany.com/not-a-flamethrower https://www.boringcompany.com/not-a-flamethrower
- JR1427 3mo agoJust buy your kid a good quality pedal bike [0], and take the pedals off. That way they can learn to use the brakes, and when you put the pedals on, they will quickly learn to cycle it. Took my daughter an afternoon. [0] e.g. https://us.earlyrider.com/products/belter-14-kids-bike-age-3-5 https://us.earlyrider.com/products/belter-14-kids-bike-age-3...
- simonmales 3mo agoThanks for the tip!
- bravetraveler 3mo agoWorked for me, thanks for the fond memory
- throwworhtthrow 3mo agoI'm glad this worked for your family, but in my kids' experience this is too heavy to use as balance bike. By the time they were comfortable hoisting their de-pedaled 12" / 5.4kg bike off the ground, they'd nearly outgrown it. They preferred a cheap hand-me-down balance bike which was half the weight (the upscale ones with brakes and pneumatic tires are self-defeatingly heavier).
- jjav 3mo agoDepends when they start, but a bike like that would have been too heavy and too big for a ~1.8 year old. We started with a Strider which is only 6.5lbs for the whole bike, much more manageable for a under-two year old.
- marysol5 3mo agoNo doubt it's just a spray painted OEM product from China.
- mDyJzDPmBdG 3mo agoWell, at least this one looks like custom made: https://shop.tesla.com/product/cybertruck-for-kids?sku=1985666-00-B https://shop.tesla.com/product/cybertruck-for-kids?sku=19856... . I dare to say, most products in that shop make sense. Well besides the entire "why would I want anything related to this toxic brand" issue.
- dveeden2 3mo agoMore kids toys: Cyberquad for Kids https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberquad-for-kids?sku=1714748-00-B https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberquad-for-kids?sku=171474...
- kotaKat 3mo agoComes with the full Tesla experience of recalls and safety issues. https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2023/Radio-Flyer-Recalls-Cyberquad-for-Kids-Due-to-Violations-of-Federal-Safety-Standard-for-All-Terrain-Vehicles-ATVs-and-Risk-of-Injury-Sold-Exclusively-Online-by-Tesla https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2023/Radio-Flyer-Recalls-Cyberq...
- ErroneousBosh 3mo agoI feel like most of us could knock this up out of ply with a handsaw and a drill, and 3D print some covers to go over it, in about an afternoon. Or, you know, spend a tenner on a used one off Facebook Marketplace and a fiver on a tin of spray paint to make it all cool and custom.
- throwaw12 3mo ago4T valuation is incoming. there are currently 600M kids between 0-4 ages. Imagine each paying $100 for this bike, we are talking about $60B revenue. On top of that Tesla is planning to sell accessories and subscription to these bikes, which will grow their revenue by another $120B We haven't even started talking about how experience with these bikes will shape these kids and eventually they will buy Tesla in the future when they grow up (we are talking about another $50T market cap addition over 30 years, around 125M new customers every year) IANAL, P&L, this is not a financial advice: Invest now before its too late /sarcasm
- rich_sasha 3mo agoIt's $225 per bike so revenue of $135b. Moar valuation!
- misja111 3mo agoI expect the TSLA stock to jump another 20% based on this
- throwaw12 3mo agodo you mean based on my message alone?
- mysterydip 3mo agoIt would be ridiculous if stock prices jumped or dropped just from a single message by someone! :)
- jaggs 3mo agoDon't forget the potential for bike parking in space bays. So much more eco than earth bound parking.
- throwaw12 3mo agoso many good ideas in this thread, Elon should hire us
- alpineman 3mo agoWarning: the bike may start to unexpectedly veer to the Far Right
- kakacik 3mo agoroman salutes to show the way
- wartywhoa23 3mo agovom Herzen zum Sohn!
- surgical_fire 3mo agoComes in 4 different themes for your little one: - Starship - Dinosaur - Princess - Schutzstaffel
- sajithdilshan 3mo agoMaybe I'm too stupid to understand, but how do you ride it? is it electrical? If so what's the maximum speed? or is it just those toy bikes where the kids need to push forward with their feet? if that's the case why on earth is it 225$?
- dewey 3mo agoThat’s not an uncommon price point for these kind of bikes aiming for that market segment (Woom).
- eloisant 3mo agoI think it's "just" a regular balance bike that you push with your feet, although I wouldn't dismiss that kind of bike as a "toy". It's actually the best way to learn to use a bike for kids, much better than trainer wheels.
- saaaaaam 3mo agoUgh. All you haters have no vision. Pretty sure you have missed the non-GAAP upside of this bike where the PRS of this cohort of ELSCs is booked and multiplied forward as ICFRS which means each bike sale is worth a future two cars, a cybertruck, a power wall, a personal levitation suit, and the revenue contributed from the children’s children’s indentured servitude in the mines of Mars. [0] Potentialized Recurring Spend [1] Early life-stage customers [2] Infinitely Continuing Future Revenue Streams
- Yizahi 3mo agoAren't so called "balance bikes" very dumb and also mildly harmful for kids? Why not just buy a proper bike with sidewheels, and after a few weeks just drop them and kid will learn to ride bicycles properly now? Instead of both not learning anything and endangering pedestrians and himself on the "balance bike"?
- senordevnyc 3mo agoEh, my daughter had one when she was 2-3, before she would have been able to ride a pedal bike, and it was definitely helpful for her learning. She had training wheels on her next bike for a day or two and then we took them off and she rode without issue. We also lived in an apartment and a tiny balance bike was a lot less disruptive than a pedal bike with training wheels.
- beAbU 3mo agoYou can start a kid on a balance bike at like 9 months. There are no pedal bikes with training wheels that's small enough for a 9 month old. No responsible parent will allow a child on a balance bike (or one with training wheels) in any scenario where they'll 'endanger' anything. Balance bikes teach you to ride a bike (maintain balance while steering). Training wheels teach you to pedal a bike. Learning balancing and steering first, and then learning to actually cycle the pedals is the right order of events I think.
- Yizahi 3mo ago1. Assuming there is a real proven age gap and balance bike allows a noticeably earlier start than a real bike with side wheels - what is the purpose of doing that in the first place? What will kid learn in the gap period specifically? Just balancing? Well, maybe that's beneficial. I have googled and the quick search tells me that the gap is between 6 to 12 month. 2. I have never ever in my life seen even one balance bike with brakes. So as soon as a kid can "glide" on it, he is a danger to himself and to the people around. Does learning balance a bit earlier outweigh the danger? I don't know. As an adult I try to walk as far as possible from kids on these balance bikes, unless parent is holding their hand or handlebar. Getting hit at a significant speed in the leg is not fun.