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Just a note for Dads doing more than their parents - it’s quality more than quantity. Be fully present with your kids more than trying to kill yourself fitting
by rhubarbtree 6mo ago
Just a note for Dads doing more than their parents - it’s quality more than quantity. Be fully present with your kids more than trying to kill yourself fitting more hours in. That’s what matters.
Bad parenting tends to be more of the type that isn’t engaged. Kids don’t hate you for going to work. They are hurt if you come home and ignore them.
- awakeasleep 6mo agoIf you’re a dad and live in the same house as your kids the time comes naturally… men have been purposefully fleeing it throughout history. So its not a matter of “killing yourself to get more time” … its a matter of not abandoning your kids and wife to make time for your hobbies or whatever
- dgudkov 6mo agoYeah, what's the point in technically spending more time with kids if half of that time you stare at your mobile phone.
- grvdrm 6mo agoTure, but also, know that sometimes that just happens - the kids want to be solo, not talk, etc. Easy to kill yourself thinking you need to be perfect.
- 1970-01-01 6mo agoAny paper or citations on this? I don't believe it.
- pluralmonad 6mo agoYou should definitely follow your instincts here, but wanting researchers to show you how to raise your kids is a fools errand IMO. Put those highly tuned parental instincts to use!
- dimes 6mo agoIsn’t this the exact sentiment used by those who oppose vaccinations?
- infermore 6mo agodifferent advice is appropriate in different situations, believe it or not
- Dylan16807 6mo agoBelieve it or not, that's a useless fact when there's no obvious specific difference between the situations to make it relevant.
- machomaster 6mo agoIf you don't see a clear difference between the hard sciences of biology/chemistry/medicine and the opinionated "science" of parenting (prescriptive, no less), then you should check your eyes.
- deleted 6mo ago[deleted]
- Dylan16807 6mo agoI see your point about different qualities of science, but the wording of "highly tuned parental instincts" is still bad. The instincts are the same in both situations, and they're highly flawed. Science should override instincts in lots of situations. And if you ask basically any kind of science "how do I best accomplish x?", that science will have a "presciptive" answer, so I don't see how parenting science is any more prescriptive then chemistry.
- m463 6mo agoYeah, I'm a little skeptical as well. I remember dad being home, but not specifically focused on me. Sometimes seeing dad at home, doing his thing, was a great way of learning. I think as kids we learned by example more than hands-on-taught.