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As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't ex
by fragmede 7mo ago
As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.
- reactordev 7mo agoAs someone who identifies as autistic, I learned to smile and just listen. I’ll ask questions and try and put my little anecdotes in but for the most part I just let other people talk. Works reasonably well. I usually run afoul when the situation is serious and I show up with my smile.
- bananaflag 7mo agoWhat about when people start making fun of you for being silent?
- ashtonshears 7mo agoGiven the context of the discussion is about lacking social cues, its not possible to know the social setting to give you specific advice. However, I would suggest considering if the ‘making fun’ is in casual conversation or truly adversary. In casual conversation of someone making jest about your lack of speaking, just smile and say you are having a good time listening and hanging out. If they are actually making fun of you, never associate with those people again, they suck
- reactordev 7mo agoEmphasis on that last part. Hurt people hurt people, don’t let them hurt you too.
- gib444 7mo agoBut smile in the /correct/ way, else you'll be judged for smiling weirdly. Sigh
- reactordev 7mo agoSmile like you just saw a puppy, you’ll be fine.
- doubled112 7mo agoInstructions unclear. I don't usually smile at puppies, I point them out to my wife. She does the smiling for us. What if she isn't there? Who will do the smiling?
- reactordev 7mo agoWhat makes you happy when you see it? Imagine that.
- balamatom 7mo agoI don't know about you, but things that make me happy and things that automatically make me bare my teeth at them are not the same things. Deal with it.
- bityard 7mo agoAs someone who is not autistic, just tends towards very socially awkward, this is what I do as well. Active listening is a skill I developed by accident out of not having much to contribute to most conversations. As time went on, I saw that most people appreciate just being heard and worked on it more deliberately. It's not all puppies and rainbows of course, because some people can't hold a conversation without being led through it by the hand, which is exhausting. And others think everyone else is always so fascinated with what they have to say that they never stop for you to get a word in edgewise. But, active listening accounts for the majority of my social skills, for better or worse.
- deleted 7mo ago[deleted]
- unsupp0rted 7mo agoI've tried this and I'm not sure its explanation is useful. It wasn't there and it only knows what I tell it, so it's missing a lot of context clues. And I'm probably less autistic than the average HNer.
- sublinear 7mo agoSelf-help, therapy, etc. wouldn't be as big of a business if it was just autistic people doing that.
- markus_zhang 7mo agoMaybe people are social animals just because they have to.
- coffeebeqn 7mo agoI think that’s how everyone learns. Making mistakes and figuring out why that turned out poorly. Some are more innately good at it than others. I’m not particularly but I can learn from mistakes
- TheOtherHobbes 7mo agoA lot of people assume everyone else has it worked out. But people mostly don't have it all worked out. There are specific demographics who do. Some are naturally gifted at social interactions and/or grew up in environments which taught them how to socialise effectively. Others are charming narcissists - likeable, high status, attractive on the outside, monsters on the inside. They can appear effortless because they don't care about anything except presenting an image, so they get get very skilled at it. Most everyone else has some social anxiety or frustration and makes more or less obvious social mistakes at least occasionally.
- cubefox 7mo agoYeah. In the past I assumed that some people just sometimes randomly behave aggressively towards me for no good reason. But usually the reason is probably that I was unintentionally rude or strange with some sort of nonverbal communication or similar.
- deleted 7mo ago[deleted]
- esseph 7mo agoThis seems like a good way to learn and grow.