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This is a fun app. One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active pa
by athenot 9mo ago
This is a fun app.
One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active participant. That usually earns me a weird look, and then they go off speaker so I can't hear what's been said. Success.
Similar with folks watching reels on speaker, I fake a laugh or make comments about the content. It's awkward enough that they usually stop because they want a moment alone, not an interactive session with a stranger. Which ironically is the same thing I want too.
- xattt 9mo agoHow do you deal with the small possibility that the offending person is unhinged (since they’ve already chosen to throw out societal mores out the window) and could physically hurt you?
- away0g 9mo ago[flagged]
- jszymborski 9mo agoI don't think I've read a call to violence on HN before this one.
- boogieknite 9mo ago[flagged]
- Spooky23 9mo agoIt’s a two-way street. I used to have to deal with unhinged people on the regular and one of the techniques that keep the peace and stay safe is to present an edge that gives the vibe that you may be more unhinged. My dad used to run housing projects, and my uncle was an assistant principal at one of the most violent schools in New York City. They were like Jedi masters of presence. They had stories that were absolutely insane.
- echelon_musk 9mo ago> They had stories that were absolutely insane. Don't leave us hanging.
- johnisgood 9mo agoYes, please give us some!
- Spooky23 9mo agolol, Sure! Here’s one that was one of the crazier ones that I remember from my dad. There were a bunch of people complaining about smells coming from an apartment. The dude was a little out there and some sort of religious practitioner. The workers were afraid of the guy, but he hadn’t really done anything except be weird and creepy. So he ended up going up with a few folks to check it out. The dude was capturing (many) wild animals and boiling their blood. So much so that it was condensating on the ceiling. The dude opened the door and came at them with a bloody machete. He was babbling something about his mother, and I guess as it was told dad just softly said something along the lines of “Your mom sent us and she is not happy with what is happening here, and I think you know that.” I guess the guy stopped in his tracks, dropped the machete and started bawling. He was a special guy and made a point to treat people fairly and with respect. They’d kick out drug dealers and people who’d terrorize neighbors with dogs and such. The local street dealers beat up some guy who tried to steal his car because being diligent in the buildings was keeping their families safe. He’d take me down as a kid in the summer to hang out and help out with kids programs. It was profoundly meaningful to me as I got to understand that we are all really the same.
- railsgirls112 9mo agoI love this, thank you for sharing. I imagine that position gives you an exposure to humanity that many can't handle with that kind of grace and constitution. We surely need more people like him.
- getdoneist 9mo agoIt is pure game theory. An aggressive person expects no bad outcomes from his passive victim. If they get a signal that their own outcome may be not that good, even marginally, this very often changes their behaviour. That's why the advice to act submissively presented as "avoiding confrontation" is often the wrong advice. You are not seeking confrontation, but you should signal that you are ready for confrontation. Stops aggressive behaviour very often.
- deleted 9mo ago[deleted]
- charcircuit 9mo agoIt's illegal for them to hurt you.
- bravetraveler 9mo ago> It's illegal for them to hurt you. A well-known inhibitor for the unhinged. I wish I had the social awareness to troll [the right] people [well] in the moment like this. I've misjudged the dangerous ones enough, find that has blocked my words.
- charcircuit 9mo agoIt's the being in prison for years which truly inhibits them.
- bravetraveler 9mo agoFor the benefit of the next victim, maybe. The unhinged are famously forward-thinking. Hopefully you report their crime after the fact and it's met with a favorable result. All to say: "May the odds...", etc.
- evilduck 9mo agoIs that why our prisons sit empty?
- iammrpayments 9mo agoJust lift weights, or say it’s just a prank I guess
- reassess_blind 9mo agoPersonally, it's not worth living in fear of that small chance. If you're alone and they're visibly on drugs or something then yeah, better to just move. Otherwise we just let people get away with bad behavior.
- taneq 9mo agoDiet, exercise, and physical training, probably?
- NoSalt 9mo agoThis is a good way to shanked on the D.C. Metro.
- jcbe 9mo agoKind of a funny day to post this (WMATA just released data showing crime rates at a 25-year low)
- nailer 9mo agoI have do idea about DC but I don't trust crime rate stats - a lot might be unreported. In NYC last year someone burnt someone else to death while they sat, relaxed and watched, and in a seperate incident a person died died and someone else had sex with them afterwards. It could that be crime is lower or it could be that insane brutality has become normalized.
- cool-RR 9mo agoIt's my fantasy to do this. Congrats on having the courage.
- hyperbolablabla 9mo agoMy friend does this and I feel the same way. I could never bring myself to do this, I cant even smile at people
- pseudosavant 9mo agoI've recently become a convert to this kind of thinking. The person invited the public to join in when they decided to have a public speakerphone call. If they don't want my responses or laughter, they get annoyed and stop the behavior I was finding annoying in the first place. I don't even have to act like I'm bothered by it, or that I find their behavior offensive. They change their behavior because they are bothered by mine.
- onethought 9mo agoHow is that different than two people talking in person? Do you interrupt them as well?
- itishappy 9mo agoYup. Online too! I have no qualms about adding my two cents to any loud public conversations.
- mezyt 9mo agoA half conversation is a lot more disruptive because your brain try to fill in the gap of information.
- cortesoft 9mo agoThis comment chain is talking about people using speakerphone, though, meaning they hear both sides of the conversation
- jomohke 9mo agoIn theory yes, but in practice they usually have the speaker up far higher than they are speaking themselves so we do only hear one side clearly. I think the high distractability is a trifecta of volume, non-naturallness of the sound (compression etc: feeling out of place in the space) and this point.
- stavros 9mo ago
- indrora 9mo agoA friend of mine works AV at shows that have rotating DJs and one of the things she has on her mixer board is "The Suck Button." It causes a mic at the other end of the room to get cut into the DJ's live feed monitor with a semitone shift down and some reverb. This causes all sorts of inner-ear chaos and usually clears a DJ off the stage when they're over time within a few minutes at most -- usually under 30 seconds. One time they were trying to figure out why it wasn't working and discovered that the DJ had muted their monitor feed, which explained why they were not only peaking the meters but over time: They hadn't heard the FOUR warnings from the back of house that it was time to wrap up.
- inlined 9mo agoThere was a coffee shop ages ago in SF that would every few hours play a cacophony (e.g. multiple songs at once). I assume it was to drive away people camping on their laptops to rotate tables. Understand but super annoying to people like me who had a timer to but food or drink no less than hourly to be a good citizen
- acomjean 9mo agoWe had a friend who would play Metal when the ice cream store he worked at was closed but the customers were lingering too long. It generally worked, as he was immune.
- 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 9mo agoI was at a coffee shop once that was playing metal while my writing group was meeting there and I just thought they had excellent taste (it was not near closing time)
- reincarnate0x14 9mo agoI introduced my local restaurant owner to Mongolian Techno and the late night bar flies and some of the kitchen staff have never forgiven me. He won't admit if he plays it for himself, or because of them :)
- anotherevan 9mo agoSidled up next to the guy and said loudly, “Mr Smith? Mr Smith? The mistress is ready for you now!”
- latexr 9mo agoFun solution! But what do you do if the person is listening to loud music? There’s nothing to comment there.
- jitbit 9mo agoSometimes when college kids in a hotel room next to mine are being too loud, I go out, check their room number , go back to my room and give them a call (usually just dialing the room number works). I pretend to be “Jason from reception” and that “other guests are complaining about the noise”. Works every time.