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Divorce plunged in Kentucky – equal custody for fathers is a big reason why
- WarOnPrivacy 1y agohttps://archive.ph/36V0N https://archive.ph/36V0N
- WarOnPrivacy 1y agoKentucky’s divorce rate has plummeted. Between 2016 and 2023 it fell 25%, compared with a nationwide decline of 18%
- ahmeneeroe-v2 1y agoVery interesting I didn't realize divorce rates were dropping across the nation. Still seems like KY is ~40% better than the average.
- anacrolix 1y agoWhen you're at the bottom the only direction is up: marriage rates
- WorldPeas 1y agoI would be interested to see if the national divorce rate dropping was because marriage rates were dropping, if by convention/expense/etc., and therefore decreasing unhappy marriage
- bdcravens 1y agoOr a realization that it's difficult or impossible to survive (or maintain a standard of living) in a single-income household.
- WarOnPrivacy 1y ago> it's difficult or impossible to survive (or maintain a standard of living) in a single-income household. You aren't wrong. We've been in a 4-income economy since 2020. Housing here is up 2x since 2020 and 5x from mid 1990s.
- toomuchtodo 1y agoI’d be curious to see what the marriage and fertility rate is over the next five years.
- TimorousBestie 1y agoNot sure what the causal connection would be there.
- toomuchtodo 1y agoIf women feel like it is no longer safe to marry because they will be forced into equal custody, those rates would decline. Safer to stay single and childfree (from a risk management perspective). Not that this is too far off from existing trends, so I'm unsure if measuring in Kentucky alone is enough to control against the broader national trends: https://www.morganstanley.com/ideas/womens-impact-on-the-economy https://www.morganstanley.com/ideas/womens-impact-on-the-eco... > 45% of prime working age women (ages 25-44) will be single by 2030—the largest share in history—up from 41% in 2018. https://iop.harvard.edu/youth-poll/50th-edition-spring-2025 https://iop.harvard.edu/youth-poll/50th-edition-spring-2025 > Just 48% of young Americans say having kids is important—the lowest ranking among the six life goals we measured. It signifies a generational shift away from traditional family formation.
- potato3732842 1y ago>If women feel like it is no longer safe to marry because they will be forced into equal custody The word choice of your comment is beyond absurd and your usual schtick of cherry picking links to back up your point doesn't make it any less absurd. It's mostly men who don't wanna get married and/or start a family and do all that stuff because (in states that have yet to reform their laws) they stand to lose half their shit and not even have half a kid to show for it. I have zero sympathy for people, of any gender, for whom not being on the favorable end of unequal treatment in divorce/custody is the marginal difference that makes them not get married.
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- gjsman-1000 1y ago[flagged]
- thatguy0900 1y agoNot to mention when you start looking into domestic violence rates among lesbian couples
- bonsai_spool 1y ago> , and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. This is absolutely the wrong statistic to apply. This discusses the lifetime risk of ANY IPV event and does not even limit this to people who have children. But despite being the wrong statistic, there’s 25% increase in lifetime risk for women over men
- klaff 1y agoYou're quoting statistics on victims but talking about offenders.
- Antoniocl 1y agoSo I agree that your inference is probably correct, but it is worth pointing out that the rate which a sex experiences X from their intimate partners isn't exactly the same as the rate at which the other sex does X to their partners, namely because of non-heterosexual couples. For example, you could imagine a world where men are significantly more likely than women to commit DV, making some subset of that 28.5% men who have suffered at the hands of other men. It would also imply that gay women are less likely to experience DV, which would widen the gap further. That said, I believe many more couples are hetero than not, so maybe it wouldn't make much of a difference. To be clear, I'm not making this specific claim about men, just illustrating that I think the statistic quoted doesn't _directly_ justify the claim "women aren't that much less likely to offend" (although it does lend credence to it)
- bobsmooth 1y agoLesbian couples have the highest rates of DV.
- blindriver 1y ago[dead]
- bryanlarsen 1y agoThey can fix the law without abandoning the 50/50 principle. There are several anecdotes in the article about judges ignoring evidence of abuse.
- gjsman-1000 1y ago> There are several anecdotes in the article about judges ignoring evidence of abuse If the judge wasn't convinced in the anecdote when it was his job to figure it out with his career on the line, we have no right to assume that the judge got it wrong, without additional evidence. Feigning victimhood is a popular sport.
- WarOnPrivacy 1y ago> I couldn't go into a playground without some thought of having to prove I wasn't a child trafficker. I was my wife's caregiver and dad to 5 young sons over 20years. I was the sole parent taking them to playgrounds and other outdoor activities, upwards to 200x a year. In all those events, I never experienced nor witnessed anything remotely like what you described. Not for me and not for any other solo dad. On rare occasion, I was complimented for spending time with them. That's about all the notice I got.
- blindriver 1y agoThanks for the anecdote.
- WarOnPrivacy 1y agoThanks! This particular one occurred over 1000x. I made my kids sick of every playground within 50 miles.
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- kixiQu 1y agoHaving a system as described where parents with evidence of abuse can't protect their kids from abusers seems absolutely unacceptable. Patching over that with the current unfair assumptions about men vs. women as suitable parents isn't better!
- dsadfjasdf 1y agooh is that how it's described?
- mionhe 1y agoWell, the author of the article found several people sharing experiences that they heard from other people that seem to give credence to that view. Hard to know at this point if the problem is with specific judges, with the way the law is written, or if the presentation of these experiences are made to seem more numerous by the way the article presents the story. It also didn't cover instances of abuse coming from mothers, so there's at least a little bias in the story.
- ENGNR 1y ago[flagged]
- kixiQu 1y agoI am a feminist here commenting in support of shared custody.
- cam_l 1y agoNot entirely true. They actually removed family violence as a direct factor and instead now look at the safety of all parties and best interests of children as the primary factors. We are yet to see how it plays out. But anecdotal data from people I know in the family court space suggests some judges are using the change to effect better and safer parenting arrangements and some are using it as a way to dismiss entering complaints of family into the record at all (even ones verified by police). As i recall, the mandatory shared parenting was a stupid & anachronistic captains call from little johnny, via toxic father lobby groups. It put more levers for coercive control at the hands of the few men who perpetrate family violence and just made everything more difficult for everyone else. Remember, something like 80-90% of parenting cases which enter the family court system are settled out of court. But of the ones who do go through the courts, family violence is a factor in something like 70% of those cases.[0] I have no doubt that the increase in family violence, both incidence and intensity, in the over the past 20 years is directly linked to this policy. [0] it is hard to get current stats on this figure, they are now lumping fv in with all safety factors, including drug use and criminal activity.
- OutOfHere 1y agoFor most men, marriage is one of the most unwise actions they can legally take in their life. This is due to it being co-opted by the state for its own purposes. Society needs a new word and a new social status for the element of marriage, but without its legal standing, e.g. "maritage" (signifying the heritage of marriage).
- potato3732842 1y agoIt's always been co-opted. It's just now it's a way worse deal than it used to be.
- TrnsltLife 1y agoIn a non common law marriage state you can probably have a wedding, say your vows, and live as man and bride. Consult a lawyer for local gotchas. France has the legal status of living in concubinage, so man and concubine. Pretty much the same as live-in girlfriend. Some terms that could work: Man and bride Concubine Wedded/conjugal/nuptial state/union This is my wedded bride. This is my wedded man. etc.
- em-bee 1y agoin germany, living together already forces you into most of the obligations you'd have when married. especially when you have children. but worse, you have less rights. unlike a divorce, shared custody is not automatically assumed, and you are less likely to get it. (it used to be that the mother could simply deny it but that changed 15 years ago)
- bayareapsycho 1y agoWhat's the source on this? I know it's a thing in Canada, Australia, and Washington state (if you cohabitate for some number of years, they can claim that it's a "de-facto relationship" and get property division). Apparently the current UK government is trying to push it I looked up for Germany and found nothing
- em-bee 1y ago
- jaxett 1y agoI went through this process of being granted shared custody as a father in MN. My son's mom called me a rapist, abuser and had child protective services twice to my house with zero evidence. I was guilty until proven innocent. I was informally psychoanalyzed by two different parenting consultants assigned (voluntarily) by the court. I have zero criminal record. I wouldnt wish what happened to me to anyone. She was always seen as a "protective mom" and while I was emotionally tormented throughout the 3 year ordeal. I was granted shared custody after 13 months and the remainder of the 3 years were spent defending myself from lies. She only stopped after the parenting consultants would continue to compel her alone to meetings to "discuss" coparenting. The cost of those private meetings were $600/hr. I never understood why a father could just quit and walk away from their children. I now understand why. I was never going to quit but I had the advantage of money and time. I couldnt imagine going through that process if I made $50K/year. I am still processing what happened to me and I am definitely a different person now. I carry a weight with me that only I can feel. I hope they change the law and give fathers rights by default.
- rexpop 1y agoHas therapy been helpful?
- Nervhq 1y agoLies! I've been told as a man your life is a constant stream of undeserved "privilege" God I hate these people
- Gud 1y agoThe comment you replied to shared a deeply personal experience. Consider what value your comment added to the discussion. No offense.
- senordevnyc 1y agoI'm 99% sure the comment you're responding to was sarcastic and ultimately agreeing with GP.
- pyuser583 1y agoI would go as far as to say divorce by itself should always result in split custody. Other proceedings can take custody away. For example, if both parents are abusive, they should both run the risk of losing custody, regardless of if they are married or divorced. Divorce by itself is irrelevant. I’m not saying we should leave kids with abusers, I’m saying the process of determine whether one or both of the parents are abusive needs to seperate from divorce. This is already happening. Many district attorneys have begun refusing to prosecute abuse claims - or any marital crime - until divorce cases are over. In some cases the abuse adjudication might happen first. But it shouldn’t happen at the divorce hearing. The idea being to separate the civil divorce from a criminal prosecution. Divorce should always seek to maximize parent rights for both parents. Other proceedings can deal with abuse.
- ahazred8ta 1y agoThat's kind of weird, because in other situations it's customary for the criminal investigation and trial to come before the civil cases are resolved. What's the rationale for deferring the criminal charges?
- pyuser583 1y agoFrom what I remember, it’s concern about false allegations, and witnesses not cooperating once they realize people in prison don’t pay alimony or child support. Overall, it’s a desire to keep the divorce and criminal processes seperete.