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One hundred and one rules of effective living
- chairmansteve 1y agoRule 1: Never read substack.
- ngangaga 1y agoIf point 2 is something so subjective as "deal plainly", point 0 should probably be "be honest with yourself". More to the point—why would anyone want to do otherwise? The hard part is satisfying your own evaluation. > 4) There exists uncanny congruity between thought and experience. Charitably, there must be a more effective way to articulate this sentiment. I could go on, but that seems sufficient to address the overall tone of the writing. EDIT: I apologize for being so critical. These are clearly well-thought-out points and I'm not trying to detract from that. I'm just not sure how to process someone else's internal understanding of themselves in a generally useful manner.
- jewayne 1y agoYeah, I just realized there are two very different ways to parse the statement. I initially saw it as "Experiences shape thoughts in predictable ways." But the other way to interpret it is "Attitude shapes experiences in predictable ways."
- throwaway173738 1y agoI feel like that second interpretation is the seat of so much misery and of so much happiness.
- dullcrisp 1y agoUncanny would mean the opposite of predictable
- tcfhgj 1y ago> why would anyone want to do otherwise? lying to yourself is sometimes a easy way out of cognitive dissonance
- mudiadamz 1y agoMore like how to be mediocre boring life advice
- whooshnoise 1y agoOdd that this list made you so angry you had to post how boring the people who follow must be? I feel sorry for you. Honestly. Judgement of others tends to make people miserable.
- mcphage 1y agoDo you always assume that someone who disagrees with you must have been angry about it?
- whooshnoise 1y agoWhen they use angry phrasing yes. It’s not a difficult concept, reading comprehension. Except maybe it is for the TikTok generation.
- ngangaga 1y ago[flagged]
- mbb70 1y ago> 42) Do not be an asshole. This list is paying dividends already! > 41) Use sarcasm rarely. ...Shoot
- awkward 1y ago> 7) Do not over-talk. > 72) A positive mental attitude means evaluating circumstances based on their capacity for self-development.
- pricees 1y ago“35) Give no second chances to anyone who shows disrespect“ This is one of the worst rules I have ever read. Taken literally it can squander a life otherwise well lived.
- turnsout 1y agoYeah, might as well make the rule "35) Be inflexible and cruel when it suits you."
- vkou 1y agoI like that phrasing of it more. Someone following it will live pretty effectively.
- jdthedisciple 1y agoI could relate to it only for one reason: I was treated disrespectfully at a restaurant recently. I do not plan on returning there ever.
- jajko 1y agoDo you behave in same vein at your work, with your parents, spouse, children, friends etc?
- worik 1y ago> “35) Give no second chances to anyone who shows disrespect“ This bit me. I work for a disrespectful person. It is awful.
- aaron695 1y ago[dead]
- humorbullies 1y ago[dead]
- AtlasBarfed 1y ago102. Exercise
- WastedCucumber 1y ago103. Wear sunscreen.
- snide 1y agoI've always like Ben Franklin's 13 virtues. It's a short list. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation. TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
- stuartjohnson12 1y agoThat sounds like a very boring and miserable way to live. To respond with one of my own: --- When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit.
- bix6 1y agoToday I learned about the red hat society, thank you
- xyzwave 1y agoFair critique, we should never lose the spirit of play, but Franklin’s guidance seems very much in line with a quote from Gustave Flaubert I often see echoed: > Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work
- whooshnoise 1y agoI didn’t know Thoreau read “The Secret”.
- daveguy 1y ago> 100) Those who bill by the hour work not for you but for the hour. This is just not true. Some bill by the hour to be certain that full and focused work is applied for you and your project. In other words, if someone is following even a fraction of these 101 rules, then they are working for you. Maybe I am misunderstanding what this rule is trying to say. But, it seems like the mode of payment is completely orthogonal to the motive and priority of the person working.
- throwaway173738 1y agoHourly is for work where you don’t know when it will be finished because you have no idea what you’re getting in to. Try demanding a flat rate next time you need a slow leak in a pipe in a wall repaired.
- jebarker 1y agoI often wonder if there's any real benefit in reading things like this. Philosophising (and meditating) without putting it into practice in your life is largely worthless, but I tend to think with ideas like this you only learn them through experience.
- LVB 1y agoOver my many years I've found that mental pivots that have lasted came at completely unpredictable times. I'd hear or read something like one of these, it would resonate and get me thinking "Hmm, yeah, I should stop that", and it stuck. Presumably my brain was primed to receive the advice at that time.
- sandspar 1y agoPsychologists call this the "psychological moment." You can tell a depressed friend 100 times that they should go for a walk and they'll ignore you. Then for some reason the 101st time it sinks in, they go for a walk and lo, they feel better. Psychological moment applies to all sorts of changes. Telling your abused friend that they should take the kids and leave, telling your aging dad that it's time he gives up his driver's license, asking your husband to stop interrupting you. 100 times they ignore it, 101st time it clicks. Everything is timing.
- FollowingTheDao 1y agoYou do not need 101 rules. Just embrace the three treasures of the Dao: Compassion, frugality, and humility.
- neilv 1y ago> 8) Speak only of what you know well. OK, but that's going to wipe out 99%+ of Internet 'content', HN included.
- keiferski 1y agoI’ve thought about this before and concluded that it’s because HN/other sites are somewhat hostile to the approach of beginner’s mind, admitting you know nothing but want to learn more, etc. Asking basic questions tends to get you ridiculed or downvoted, and most subreddits have onerous lists of rules you have to follow before asking anything. YouTube and TikTok also incentivize acting like someone that has no doubts and is completely certain that they’re right. I suppose that dynamic isn’t hugely different from a typical in-person social situation (e.g., a classroom where kids are afraid to look stupid by asking questions) but it would be cool if a social platform incentivized people to ask “dumb” questions they are curious about. At this point though, ChatGPT is basically fulfilling this function for me, and its lack of judgement is refreshing compared to the typical Ask subreddit.
- gilleain 1y agoAgreed about questions, although I have seen people have positive results by starting their question with some humility. However there is the opposite problem - usually known as 'the empty pot sounds loudest' - where those who respond or comment are often those with the confidence of their simplistic opinions. Those with a more nuanced or expert view are more hesitant, so are less likely to weigh in. HN is a lot better than other places (youtube comments! reddit!) but of course falls into these traps as well.
- throwaway_sage 1y agohonestly a very good list (is it good because I happen to follow nearly all of these rules?) nonetheless i made an account just to support it
- reverendsteveii 1y agohey mitch, how goes it?
- corry 1y ago101 rules? Too many. I vastly prefer not a rule but THE life challenge with thanks to Mary Oliver: "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
- bwfan123 1y agothese 100 rules are missing an important one. step back, and simplify. these rules are a result of overthinking which is something to avoid. far simpler rules have been laid out numerous times in the classics. such as: the golden rule of ethics, ie, dont do unto others what you dont want done to you, and the serenity prayer etc.
- lifefeed 1y ago> In more than thirty years as a writer, editor, and publisher, I have, to my best reckoning, introduced, abridged, issued or reissued, and read nearly every major work of inspirational literature produced or translated into English. I'm always wary of people who spend too much time in the world of inspirational books. It's healthy to read a little, and to "sharpen the ax" every so often, but reading too much of this stuff is mind-numbing outside of historiography reasons.
- hnthrow90348765 1y ago>1) Do your work—do it on time and fully, if not early and overabundantly. I cannot overstate how absolutely hollow it must be that work is your #1 rule of living The next saddest thing is that the only mention of love is a fucking Machiavelli quote
- reverendsteveii 1y agoWork != job One of my greatest pleasures has been orienting my life toward projects and away from pleasures. I now find myself doing a lot of what other people consider work, but self-directed and self-paced in a way that brings me incredible, deep satisfaction. No one, including me, forces me to do these things. I do them because I like doing them. Bodybuilding, maintaining my home, lawn and garden, cooking/brewing/fermenting, building software. I'm not an extraordinarily wealthy man but if I woke up tomorrow with "comfortably live the rest of your life based on interest alone" money I don't suspect my life would change all that much. Once you're doing that sort of work, the meaning of this rule will become clear as will its meaninglessness.
- PaulRobinson 1y agoIf these are in priority order, sure. If not, it's 0.9909% of the rules of living. That Machiavelli quote is a poor take on love as part of life, I agree. In defense of TFA though, it is titled rules of effective living, not necessarily happy living. The rules on avoiding cruel people and who treat others badly are kind of like an anti-rule that works here though: if you're judicious and conscientious about that, I think you just end up with loving people around you, in every type of relationship: acquaintance, familial, friendship, intimate...
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- hex4def6 1y agoSome of my most stressful times at work have been when I had the least stuff to do. It's nice for a few days, but when it stretches into weeks I start feeling queasy. Obviously, being buried under an avalanche of thankless work is just as bad. My ideal life would be some sprints of large effort (maybe pulling the occasional all-nighter once in a while), followed by rest / low work times. A constant amount of work, all the same, blurs the days together. Too little, and you start feeling useless. Too much (consistently) and you're overwhelmed.
- jdalgetty 1y agoI always enjoy reading these.
- aquariusDue 1y agoAt some point a committee ought to write a manual for life and living. Though by most accounts it might be easier to write a modern standard library for C.
- noja 1y agoEverybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- iJohnDoe 1y agoA lot of these are learned through experiences in life. When you’re young it’s almost impossible to understand or recognize some of these in the moment. As you get older, you start to learn what’s important to you, and what you like and don’t like. Then you tend to respond quicker to situations.
- world2vec 1y agoSome points contradict others: 20) Get away from cruel people—at all costs. 58) “If we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved.” (Machiavelli) This is simply a self-help back-of-the-book quotes compilation.
- reverendsteveii 1y agothis feels like another person who sits by himself thinking about things that sound wise to him. he operates on the assumption that he is wise because wise sounding things sound wise to him, and also that those things are wise because they sound wise to him and he is wise. they're great for books, blogs and other one-way forms of communication where their entire job is just satisfying fridge logic so that the audience upvotes and moves along. not so much for dialogue and discussion that will eventually sort every point into buckets labelled "meaningless" or "self-evident". it's the tobacconist's yoga: a contortionate attempt to blow smoke up one's own ass unassisted.
- borroka 1y agoWe all know what you should do, be doing, and not do. Of course, we should do our job earnestly and enthusiastically, love our families to death, and protect the weak and help the poor. All in this ethereal world in which there are no trade-offs, good and evil are separated like the ocean and the mountain, and somebody, up there, is looking pensively at our actions. But the wise person, after reading a few inspirational books and slogans for the masses, gets annoyed at the simplistic "just be kind" that means nothing when out of context, of tough decisions to make, of mornings when everybody and everything annoy them. And so they decide to go back to looking at actions, that words are fleeting, but examples are lasting.
- xivzgrev 1y agoI like how these kind of lists get us talking and thinking about our own experiences. What do you agree with, not agree with? “Those who bill by the hour work not for you but for the hour.” Strikes me as cynical. Yes some people can run up the clock, but paying by the hour is also fundamentally the most fair work arrangement. You are asking for someone’s time, you pay for that time. Flat rate work gets into their own issues. For example, suppose you want your home deep cleaned and someone charges you $x to do so. A great deal! Except you find after the fact they missed a lot of stuff. Technically they followed through on the letter of what you agreed to but they did the bare minimum. There’s no pride in the work. If you had paid by the hour, you could’ve asked them to stay and focus on some areas that matter more to you. Or conversely, there’s lots of horror stories here about devs accepting flat rate work and getting endlessly dragged thru change requests
- reverendsteveii 1y ago>I like how these kind of lists get us talking and thinking about our own experiences. What do you agree with, not agree with? I panned this list in a different comment but I like it a lot better from this perspective. It's not necessarily there to be right. Sometimes it's there to say things to which your immediate response is "That's bullshit" but in a way that forces you to articulate why, or (and this is even better) to admit that you can't. Like when I read Heinlein.
- edoceo 1y agoI bill by the hour, but in chunks (20, 40, etc). I do discovery, define scope and that I determine scope, then work on narrow scoped thing. (Hard part) document each ECR, set scope and communicate price. Likely to next billed-task. Kinda combines fixed&hourly; not perfect.
- CompoundEyes 1y agoThese things remind me of the book “My Year of Living Biblically” by A.J. Jacobs. In our lives if we stopped to consult a list of all the platitudes we’ve ever come across one by one each time we did or experienced anything it would be similarly as absurd full of contradiction paralyzing.
- jxjnskkzxxhx 1y ago> In terms of investments, virtually nothing, over time, outpaces an index fund. Stopped reading here, waste of time.
- standardUser 1y ago> Prepare for the day when your best friend betrays you. Before you strap those extra rounds of ammo to your vest, may I suggest simply finding better friends? There's several on the list that sound a bit paranoid to me. And many more that make it feel like I'm being scolded by a schoolmarm. But there's definitely some gems. My favorite... > Cynics know nothing.
- derbOac 1y agoWhen I first glanced at your post I thought you were pointing out the irony of contrast between your first and last line.
- highfrequency 1y ago> Judge quality not category I like this one. Would be curious to hear the author's elaboration.
- ChrisMarshallNY 1y agoMan, those are great. Thanks for posting this!
- GMoromisato 1y agoI've narrowed my algorithm to three (not so simple) rules: 1. Know yourself. 2. Work hard. 3. Serve others. I think 90% of unhappiness comes from violating at least one of these rules. Conversely, of course, following these rules doesn't guarantee happiness, but (I think) it increases your chances.
- worik 1y ago1.1 Forgive yourself
- GMoromisato 1y agoYes! That applies in so many situations.
- ridiculous_leke 1y ago> 44) Reduce food intake by twenty percent. Why exactly twenty percent?
- hackyhacky 1y agoThat's just the first round. After you reduce food intake by 20%, reduce it by 20% again, and so on.
- ergonaught 1y ago1. Ignore lists of 101 anything.
- eointierney 1y agoBe kind as in be like thyself as in see thyself in others as in don't be unkind as in be kind The rest is noise in an expanding universe
- Ey7NFZ3P0nzAe 1y agohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule
- eointierney 1y agoExactly And yet the phrase "be kind" appears nowhere on that page
- exiguus 1y ago89) Arrogance is a form of stupidity. If you wish to train your mind with such aphorisms and craft your own, I recommend reading Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, or more modern thinkers like Heidegger and Adorno. Each of them has collections of aphorisms, akin to an elevated 'Farmer's Almanac'.
- swayvil 1y ago> 67 concentration produces power Yeah but it also produces blindness and lots of it.
- karaterobot 1y agoI think that's a lot of rules to try to carry around in your head. If it works for this guy, more power to him. For my money, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you shows up in some form or another in most major civilizations, and there's probably a reason for that. It's simple, makes sense, and covers a lot of situations. If I had a number two rule to add, it would be slower traffic keep right. That's deep wisdom with a practical application.
- yoko888 1y ago[dead]
- jrvarela56 1y agoThe best use for this kind of writing is to see which points cause a reaction in you. You can then question what is it that caught your attention and discover something about you that you may have overlooked or hadn’t noticed its impact on you.
- graycat 1y agoFive rules: (1) Financial Security. Since tough to get financial security when have a boss, instead start a business, make it successful, and sell it. Usually at the beginning, tough to know if some business direction is good, and good/bad can change over time. So, keep in mind new directions. The business should yield at least enough for a good family, a house for self and family in a good neighborhood, and significant savings. (2) Health. Do well on diet and exercise. Don't smoke, drink, or take illegal drugs. Don't try to climb Mount Everest or anything similar. (3) Family. Enabled by the other rules. (4) Education. K-12, 4 year college, advanced degrees should yield good ability at selecting good from bad. “It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.“ – Mark Twain Some of the good content may help with financial security. Friends made can be crucial for financial security and parts of family formation. Never stop learning and for much of education pick some good and relevant material and largely teach yourself. For your children, help them with their education. (5) Socialization. Understand people and how to interact. So, special cases include friends, family, leadership, media, politics. More is important, but these five 'rules' are a start.
- ropable 1y agoRule 0: Don't be a d#ck.
- afpx 1y agoYou can more easily get ~90% of these from practicing Christianity. And, if you practice it, you won't need the other 10%. And, in Christianity, you don't have to do it alone. You instantly get a loving, supportive community to help you on your journey.
- kashunstva 1y ago> 37) Honor every religion. “…and the unbelief of those who dissent.”
- mikhailfranco 1y ago68) “The past controls the future but the present controls the past.” (G.I. Gurdjieff) I always thought that was Orwell "1984" (1948). I know Orwell used Zamyatin "We" as an inspiration, but not seen the Gurdjieff attribution before. P.S. Also a fan of Asian Dub Foundation's Memory War.
- moominpapa 1y agoRule 102: Stop following other people's rules, except for rule 102