7 ms·

It took me a few days to become a smoker, and a few weeks to get to the point of not wanting to smoke again (some decades later). It took me a week or so to st

It took me a few days to become a smoker, and a few weeks to get to the point of not wanting to smoke again (some decades later). It took me a week or so to start having a healthier breakfast and it become part of my routine, and I've been trying to have healthier lunches for years now (and still regularly fail, normally because at lunchtimes I'm tired, stressed and yearning for comfort foods like sandwiches and snack bars). I think anyone who believed exactly 21 days was the magic number for all habits, for all people, was grossly naive. But what I do find is that after 21 days it's no longer novel, it's just what you do, if somebody asks you what you do about X, you no longer say "I'm trying this new thing around X, and...", you tell them your new habit. Identifying that habit as part of who you are is key to it being sticky. For some people, and for some habits, that might be true after a week, or it might take a year, but it's an important step, and if you want that habit to stick you should get to it as fast as you can.

HankStallone 2y ago
Jan 1, 2024, I made a resolution to change my diet (basically small, very simple meals with one cheat meal a week). I'd probably made a dozen such resolutions before without much success, but for some reason this one stuck right away. I never even had trouble sticking with it, and lost a pound a week over the next 10 months. Then I met my girlfriend and we went out to eat a lot, and that broke the habit. It seems like big life changes can reset habits. I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key.
- Swizec 2y ago
  > I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key. Sometimes it’s as simple as “doesn’t hurt enough yet” My grandpa was a liter of wine per day (or more) kinda guy. Then he hit his 70’s and it didn’t feel good anymore. So he stopped and hasn’t had a glass of alcohol since. Just doesn’t feel like it. Even when others drink around him.
  - rpmisms 2y ago
    Actually making decisions is pretty great. I quit a really heavy nicotine addiction by simply deciding I wasn't going to use nicotine anymore.
    - codr7 2y ago
      There are different kinds of dependencies; the human brain needs nicotine to function properly, more than you get from modern food. Not recommending tobacco, nor big pharma crap, there are supplements.
      - moron4hire 2y ago
        Yeah, it's weird. I'm actually a much nicer person on nicotine than I ever was before I got addicted. It makes it really hard to quit, because even after a few weeks, while I don't feel miserable anymore, I do miss the person I was on nicotine.
        DaveExeter 2y ago
        There's always vaping! Nicotine goodness without the combustion byproducts.
        century19 2y ago
        People that I have seen substitute with vaping seem to get more addicted to that.
        BossingAround 2y ago
        In a very simplistic way: - Smoking brings cancer and damages lungs. - Vaping damages lungs (more research needed on other possible conditions). - Nicotine pouches damage teeth. I suppose the healthiest way of ingesting nicotine would be nicotine pills, which exist to help people quit smoking (and which is why they are very expensive).
        bitmasher9 2y ago
- naasking 2y ago
  > I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key. Sometimes it helps to frame as gaining something more valuable in return for giving up something less something up. For instance, if you have preplanned meals of known calorie content, and only those foods in the house, you don't have to expend energy and time thinking about what you feel like eating today, the decisions are already made. Time is considerably more precious than most trivial, daily meal decisions.
OnionBlender 2y ago
What is your healthier breakfast? I never really learned what is considered a healthy breakfast.
- cogman10 2y ago
  Mine is a bowl of old fashion oats, frozen mixed fruit (I like a blueberry/blackberry mix), and maybe some non-fat plain greek yogurt and/or a glass a of plain soy milk. Alternatively, a couple of scrambled eggs with a piece of toast and a bananna is fairly healthy. A fried egg on an English muffin also isn't a terrible way to start the day. Target ~400 cals, Try and get some protein and fiber in there. Watch out for saturated fats and high sodium (see the DASH diet for tips). If you are diabetic or risk diabetes, check out the glycemic index and shoot for low GI foods. That'd be my advice (I'm not a doctor, what I'm suggesting could be 1000% wrong.)
  - electrosphere 2y ago
    I used a CGM recently. I tried breakfast as oatmeal with blueberries and mixed in with peanut butter. It spikes my blood sugar outside the "normal range". I treat oatmeal as once a week treat to avoid food boredom. The oatmeal was a "big bowl" variety from a packet. I heard rolled oats might be better but it's a hassle to cook. Most days breakfast is scrambled eggs (3 eggs), spinach, cheese. Sometimes I add tuna or avocado for variety. That keeps things stable.
    - pastage 2y ago
      Yeah that tracks. In the mornings your body is still in sleep mode so carb intake will take longer to be absorbed. If you have diabetes you need more insulin and a longer time for it to have affect. So for sure eating slow release carbs will help with the peak. Eating fats like cheese/avocado/oil will dampen the peak as well, eggs have 1% carbs and weighs almost nothing. Just pointing out that the peak is just how the body works.
    - lemonfever 2y ago
      It's not as nice as cooking it properly, but you can cook rolled oats in the microwave in a couple of minutes.
1245123 2y ago
But then again, 21 days might be an optimistic number solely for the purpose of getting people started. Now we should do a study of how many people, armed with this belief, still managed to keep their habit after 21 days.
- bigiain 2y ago
  > Now we should do a study of how many people, armed with this belief, still managed to keep their habit after 21 days. Or perhaps better still, how many people didn't give up during the first or second week, since they now expect it to take 3 weeks. (And similarly, whether there's a statistically significant number of people who give up ay 22+delta days now assuming they'd made it to 21 days and if the habit isn't formed then they've failed.)
cyjackx 2y ago
I forget what book it was, it might have been the happiness trap, but a big point they made was that building new habits and changing your life has a lot more to do with your inner notion of identity and long-run values. It's much easier to change your habits when they align with who you believe you are, The mental model difference between "I'm trying to eat healthier," and "I am a healthy eater."
KurSix 2y ago
I've found that habits tied to emotion (like seeking comfort or relief) are always the hardest to rewire. It's not about willpower, it's about replacing the feeling you're chasing with something that actually works long-term.
mingusrude 2y ago
> Identifying that habit as part of who you are is key to it being sticky. This has always been key to me. I've succeeded to identify myself as a runner, as someone who speaks French, as someone who reads books. But my identification as someone who has meaningful programming side-project, who has a garden and so on is to weak to succeed.
- fifilura 2y ago
  I never liked running. But my trick was to start a run-streak, https://runeveryday.com/ https://runeveryday.com/. And there are certain thresholds from the article that I can identify with. 21 days to a month as the main hurdle to pass obviously. But then some place around 6 months, where you realize that it is impossible that this day, today, is the day I will end my streak. All these past days just keeps pushing me on like a steamroller that picked up pace.
lebski88 2y ago
> a few weeks to get to the point of not wanting to smoke again That's a shockingly short amount of time for smoking. For me, after a few weeks I'd say some of the worst cravings had passed. But for a good year or two afterwards they'd occasionally come back, albeit briefly. I quit about 15 years ago, but given the right situation I can still feel it.
- PaulRobinson 2y ago
  I had this a little. I didn't actively fight it. What I did instead was note in my own head that I somehow wanted a cigarette and think to myself "OK, if I still want one in 20 minutes, I'll have one", and then went and did something else instead. An hour or two later I'd think "Oh yeah, that was weird, didn't I want a cigarette a while back?" Very occasionally it comes back - a sunny day and a beer garden with a few pints and a pack of cigs feels like something I'd very much enjoy, for example - but it's brief and I can quickly rationalise it: "how strange a thought, for a non-smoker".
  - deinonychus 2y ago
    >but it's brief and I can quickly rationalise it: "how strange a thought, for a non-smoker". i really love how you pose that. thank you for sharing, i'm going to come back to this post for inspiration. i personally get a lot of mileage out of the "lets see if i still care about this in 20 minutes" strategy for other things like food or a screen-related impulse.

HankStallone 2y ago

Jan 1, 2024, I made a resolution to change my diet (basically small, very simple meals with one cheat meal a week). I'd probably made a dozen such resolutions before without much success, but for some reason this one stuck right away. I never even had trouble sticking with it, and lost a pound a week over the next 10 months. Then I met my girlfriend and we went out to eat a lot, and that broke the habit. It seems like big life changes can reset habits. I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key.

Swizec 2y ago
> I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key. Sometimes it’s as simple as “doesn’t hurt enough yet” My grandpa was a liter of wine per day (or more) kinda guy. Then he hit his 70’s and it didn’t feel good anymore. So he stopped and hasn’t had a glass of alcohol since. Just doesn’t feel like it. Even when others drink around him.
- rpmisms 2y ago
  Actually making decisions is pretty great. I quit a really heavy nicotine addiction by simply deciding I wasn't going to use nicotine anymore.
  - codr7 2y ago
    There are different kinds of dependencies; the human brain needs nicotine to function properly, more than you get from modern food. Not recommending tobacco, nor big pharma crap, there are supplements.
    - moron4hire 2y ago
      Yeah, it's weird. I'm actually a much nicer person on nicotine than I ever was before I got addicted. It makes it really hard to quit, because even after a few weeks, while I don't feel miserable anymore, I do miss the person I was on nicotine.
      - DaveExeter 2y ago
        There's always vaping! Nicotine goodness without the combustion byproducts.
        century19 2y ago
        People that I have seen substitute with vaping seem to get more addicted to that.
        BossingAround 2y ago
        In a very simplistic way: - Smoking brings cancer and damages lungs. - Vaping damages lungs (more research needed on other possible conditions). - Nicotine pouches damage teeth. I suppose the healthiest way of ingesting nicotine would be nicotine pills, which exist to help people quit smoking (and which is why they are very expensive).
      - bitmasher9 2y ago
naasking 2y ago
> I wish I knew how I did it, because I've been unable to regain that same "this is just what I do now and it's fine" level of acceptance that seemed to be the key. Sometimes it helps to frame as gaining something more valuable in return for giving up something less something up. For instance, if you have preplanned meals of known calorie content, and only those foods in the house, you don't have to expend energy and time thinking about what you feel like eating today, the decisions are already made. Time is considerably more precious than most trivial, daily meal decisions.

OnionBlender 2y ago

What is your healthier breakfast? I never really learned what is considered a healthy breakfast.

cogman10 2y ago
Mine is a bowl of old fashion oats, frozen mixed fruit (I like a blueberry/blackberry mix), and maybe some non-fat plain greek yogurt and/or a glass a of plain soy milk. Alternatively, a couple of scrambled eggs with a piece of toast and a bananna is fairly healthy. A fried egg on an English muffin also isn't a terrible way to start the day. Target ~400 cals, Try and get some protein and fiber in there. Watch out for saturated fats and high sodium (see the DASH diet for tips). If you are diabetic or risk diabetes, check out the glycemic index and shoot for low GI foods. That'd be my advice (I'm not a doctor, what I'm suggesting could be 1000% wrong.)
- electrosphere 2y ago
  I used a CGM recently. I tried breakfast as oatmeal with blueberries and mixed in with peanut butter. It spikes my blood sugar outside the "normal range". I treat oatmeal as once a week treat to avoid food boredom. The oatmeal was a "big bowl" variety from a packet. I heard rolled oats might be better but it's a hassle to cook. Most days breakfast is scrambled eggs (3 eggs), spinach, cheese. Sometimes I add tuna or avocado for variety. That keeps things stable.
  - pastage 2y ago
    Yeah that tracks. In the mornings your body is still in sleep mode so carb intake will take longer to be absorbed. If you have diabetes you need more insulin and a longer time for it to have affect. So for sure eating slow release carbs will help with the peak. Eating fats like cheese/avocado/oil will dampen the peak as well, eggs have 1% carbs and weighs almost nothing. Just pointing out that the peak is just how the body works.
  - lemonfever 2y ago
    It's not as nice as cooking it properly, but you can cook rolled oats in the microwave in a couple of minutes.

1245123 2y ago

But then again, 21 days might be an optimistic number solely for the purpose of getting people started. Now we should do a study of how many people, armed with this belief, still managed to keep their habit after 21 days.

bigiain 2y ago
> Now we should do a study of how many people, armed with this belief, still managed to keep their habit after 21 days. Or perhaps better still, how many people didn't give up during the first or second week, since they now expect it to take 3 weeks. (And similarly, whether there's a statistically significant number of people who give up ay 22+delta days now assuming they'd made it to 21 days and if the habit isn't formed then they've failed.)

cyjackx 2y ago

I forget what book it was, it might have been the happiness trap, but a big point they made was that building new habits and changing your life has a lot more to do with your inner notion of identity and long-run values. It's much easier to change your habits when they align with who you believe you are, The mental model difference between "I'm trying to eat healthier," and "I am a healthy eater."

KurSix 2y ago

I've found that habits tied to emotion (like seeking comfort or relief) are always the hardest to rewire. It's not about willpower, it's about replacing the feeling you're chasing with something that actually works long-term.

mingusrude 2y ago

> Identifying that habit as part of who you are is key to it being sticky. This has always been key to me. I've succeeded to identify myself as a runner, as someone who speaks French, as someone who reads books. But my identification as someone who has meaningful programming side-project, who has a garden and so on is to weak to succeed.

fifilura 2y ago
I never liked running. But my trick was to start a run-streak, https://runeveryday.com/ https://runeveryday.com/. And there are certain thresholds from the article that I can identify with. 21 days to a month as the main hurdle to pass obviously. But then some place around 6 months, where you realize that it is impossible that this day, today, is the day I will end my streak. All these past days just keeps pushing me on like a steamroller that picked up pace.

lebski88 2y ago

> a few weeks to get to the point of not wanting to smoke again That's a shockingly short amount of time for smoking. For me, after a few weeks I'd say some of the worst cravings had passed. But for a good year or two afterwards they'd occasionally come back, albeit briefly. I quit about 15 years ago, but given the right situation I can still feel it.

PaulRobinson 2y ago
I had this a little. I didn't actively fight it. What I did instead was note in my own head that I somehow wanted a cigarette and think to myself "OK, if I still want one in 20 minutes, I'll have one", and then went and did something else instead. An hour or two later I'd think "Oh yeah, that was weird, didn't I want a cigarette a while back?" Very occasionally it comes back - a sunny day and a beer garden with a few pints and a pack of cigs feels like something I'd very much enjoy, for example - but it's brief and I can quickly rationalise it: "how strange a thought, for a non-smoker".
- deinonychus 2y ago
  >but it's brief and I can quickly rationalise it: "how strange a thought, for a non-smoker". i really love how you pose that. thank you for sharing, i'm going to come back to this post for inspiration. i personally get a lot of mileage out of the "lets see if i still care about this in 20 minutes" strategy for other things like food or a screen-related impulse.