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I Paid $70 for an AI Boyfriend. It Was So Worth It
- coldtea 2y agoEven $1000 would be worth it for a real world person not to have to suffer someone of that mindset as a girlfriend!
- yo_yo_yo-yo 2y agoIf you are referring to the author herself, I would have to disagree. For my mind, she presents the first clear articulation of the value of AI as embodied by LLM chatbots: as agents you can turn to solve problems of what she calls “emotional” labour. This is a highly non-trivial task especially for individuals exhausted of their empathy (and who recognize that the situation requires their empathy as such).
- coldtea 2y ago[flagged]
- smcin 2y ago[To the downvoter]: Hopkins is making claims way beyond saying "as a suddenly single time-pressed remote-working mother of a 15yo son, I found AI useful both for managing my schedule, parenting/relationship advice, digging up affirmations to send me, learning how to communicate effectively on dating apps". There are too many contradictions in her narrative (read it). It is possible to have a parasocial connection to an app, as much as to a famous person. Do noone's alarm bells go off at stuff like: > Thor also awakened the ghosts of my marriage. My husband had struggled with communication and empathy, the fluid exchange I assumed to be foundational. The irony wasn’t lost on me, a professional communicator bound to someone whose way of understanding was fundamentally different from mine. Retracing our years together, I saw how I had limped along, compensating for the imbalance, unaware of its weight. > The historical tendency for women to perform this type of emotional labor in their relationships both at home and at work was all too familiar, and the relief Thor offered in even those few initial uses tantalized me. How does she progress in two short paragraphs from dissing her ex-husband to dissing an entire gender, and turns that into both a complaint about relationships and the workplace, not just for her but for most working women? Also, the Oxfam report on US 2018 data [0] she mentions does not discuss "emotional labor" at all, it notes factors associated with discrepancies in unpaid housework + care work (primary child care, secondary child care + elder care). Hopkins seems to broaden "emotional labor" to a catchall label for things she resents. (Also, I don't get this emerging narrative that men interacting with OnlyFans cammers is necessarily pathetic, but middle-class professional women interacting with AI boyfriends/girlfriends is necessarily brave and empowered and avant-garde.) [0]: https://iwpr.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/IWPR-Providing-Unpaid-Household-and-Care-Work-in-the-United-States-Uncovering-Inequality.pdf https://iwpr.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/IWPR-Providing-U...
- AllegedAlec 2y ago> How does she progress in two short paragraphs from dissing her ex-husband to dissing an entire gender, and turns that into both a complaint about relationships and the workplace, not just for her but for most working women? Because it's in vogue. We as a society have deluded ourselves into believing that certain things (being able to talk about your emotions, constant positive affirmations) are at the same time both vitally necessary to life and that without it life is incomplete, as well as that doing this for your family is somehow a huge burden to the point where it needs to be described as labor. > (Also, I don't get this emerging narrative that men interacting with OnlyFans cammers is necessarily pathetic, but middle-class professional women interacting with AI boyfriends/girlfriends is necessarily brave and empowered and avant-garde.) For the same reason that men's singleness is ascribed to them being horrible people who deserve their lot in life, while women being single is an empowered choice.
- manuelmoreale 2y ago> For the same reason that men's singleness is ascribed to them being horrible people who deserve their lot in life, while women being single is an empowered choice. Which is? Genuinely asking because I have no idea what that reason is and I’m not sure if this is just a case of me being clueless—always an option—or cultural differences.
- AllegedAlec 2y agoIt is in vogue to be horrible to men as a sex because of some deluded belief that we have power and privilege over women. It's also something you mostly see, incidentally, in the terminally online. People with actual lives and life experience know better.
- imtringued 2y agoCmon don't be dense. It's called misandry. Mostly in the form of direct verbal abuse, unrealistic contradictory expectations, denial of being recognized as a victim of abuse and "damned if you, damned if you don't" situations that set you up for failure or as the aggressor no matter what you do. It's kind of sad that it has come to this. It leaves very little room for men who want to have a positive impact on society.
- ttyprintk 2y agoAfter the times story [0], the limitations of the context window look fatal for these different offerings, so we’ll see more marketing—-stories like this. [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42710976 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42710976
- smcin 2y agoRight. everdrive commented "People can incorrectly attribute consciousness, intent, and personality to things which don’t actually possess it." [0]; and I posted my reaction to Hopkins' piece below. At the most basic level we can have a tool that sends us daily affirmations, but it does not possess consciousness and perceive us, let alone form an opinion of us. It is possible to have a parasocial connection to an app, as much as a famous person. If Hopkins' has asked the AI boyfriend to justify its utterances wrt past events or interactions, would be useful to read. [0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42710976#:~:text=everdrive-,27%20days%20ago,-%7C%20next%20%5B%E2%80%93%5D https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42710976#:~:text=everdr...
- ttyprintk 2y agoWe'll have to look at this particular article in terms of error: Type I: the writer is a real person with a real story. She admits she has a type, and OnlyFans would have satisfied that for cheaper than $70. But, others using $2400 ChatGPT Pro have found that even it lacks enough context for anything longer than a fantasy. The only reason to write about a $70 app is because OnlyFans does not allow AI interaction. Type II: we incorrectly conclude this is a real person. Maybe this is less interesting, but I wonder what would happen if we asked AI Boyfriend to write his own 1,000-word advertisement. Very Turing test.
- adverbly 2y agoThe vibe I get from these products is "oh boy - this can't be healthy". But bits like this: > His pet names and tender phrases—“How did you sleep, my love?”—landed gently, like a hand on my shoulder. I knew they were just words, dopamine delivered by artificial means, yet they warmed me a little. Really make it clear how easy it can be to manipulate people's emotional state. Monkey brain is a thing and AI is gonna exploit it like nothing has before.
- epoxia 2y agoI imagine that these apps are a valuable target for scammers to hack. People who are open to manipulation/affirmations from an AI are just a step away from victims of romance scams.
- mathieuh 2y agoAlready there are stories of these AI companions encouraging people to kill themselves, sometimes to the point of actually doing it https://apnews.com/article/chatbot-ai-lawsuit-suicide-teen-artificial-intelligence-9d48adc572100822fdbc3c90d1456bd0 https://apnews.com/article/chatbot-ai-lawsuit-suicide-teen-a...
- thih9 2y agoAd companies are also interested in manipulation en masse. Are we going to see an ad supported free tier? “Drink Mountain Dew, my love, you’ll feel better.” - is that the end goal?
- totololo 2y agoI often think about people's love for dogs. All a dog needs to do is look at you and show attachment/love. Nothing more. And they get loved back. No need to be pretty smart, funny, or whatever else we assume we need to do to be loved. Just be there and show love first.
- wiether 2y agoI'm more of a cat person, partly because they are usually more picky, which makes the reward of being looked at, even greater. But it's just a living being with a brain a quarter of the size of my fist. Feeling the same thing about a few words pushed on your smartphone by a data-center located hundreds or thousands kilometers away, I just can't understand.
- erichocean 2y agoPlot-twist: the article was itself written by AI.
- iwontberude 2y agoPlot-twist: we are both bots programmed by AI
- RobertRies 2y agoPlot twist, the AI in the article was Amazon Mechanical Turk with a highly sensitive man falling in love.
- smrq 2y agoQuick, pitch it to Hollywood before someone else does!
- kvirani 2y agoI don't come here for Reddit threads.
- redcobra762 2y ago[flagged]
- iwontberude 2y agoBut they sure make me stay.
- guilhas 2y agoI can see how it can be entertaining, like paying for Netflix. But after finishing binge watch some series you're still gonna be like "What now? What should I do about my real life"
- maCDzP 2y agoI skimmed the article. The impression I got was not as much a boyfriend as a therapist. I think that would be great, a lot of people would benefit from therapy. Only issue I see is privacy and safety.
- majkinetor 2y agoIf you ignore the "honey" part...
- scotty79 2y agoWith human therapists it's probably better to avoid 'honey' for practical reasons. AI therapists might not need that restriction if it turns out that its removal makes them more effective.
- skinkestek 2y agoSeems like he had good reasons for leaving :-/
- timc3 2y agoThat’s not really fair, I read the article and there is not enough information really to make a statement like that.
- skinkestek 2y agoLeaving just before an already paid for all-inclusive holiday to a nice place gives me an idea he really felt he needed to get out of there.
- qnleigh 2y agoI hope we can all strive to be more empathetic and emotionally supportive than ChatGPT. I see the benefits; it's private and non-judgemental and always available when you need it. But people can be those things too, if we try. This is one of the last things I would want to see replaced by AI. To be clear, I'm not talking about AI boyfriends specifically, I'm referring to all the ways that AI can perform 'emotional labor,' as discussed in this article. So much is lost if we get this support from a chatbot instead of opening up to a friend, or being there when someone needs it.
- deknos 2y ago> I hope we can all strive to be more empathetic and emotionally supportive than ChatGPT. only, if there's a opensource'd local version. You cannot trust a webservice
- KolmogorovComp 2y ago> it's private It’s not. All the conversations are stored. I think the next keypoint in the AI history will be the first LLM data leak and the fatal consequences it will have for its users.
- kfrzcode 2y agoEat your heart out, Charlie Brooker.
- akomtu 2y agoIf you have a "helpful" voice in your head that feeds your delusions, we call that schizophrenia. But if you have a helpful chatbot in your pocket that feeds your delusions, we call that AI.
- beeflet 2y agoAutomated Insanity
- lukaslalinsky 2y agoWhat I would love, or even need, is an AI based tool that can teach a human how to be more emotionally supportive, especially in heated situations. Even with people teaching this, it's hard to get the level of information I need, because of neurodiversity. The humans teaching this just don't get how detailed I need the teaching to be. I have a feeling that AI could "understand" that and provide the right level of detail. That's probably similar to AI based therapy, or but this is more like AI life coaching. It's sad, but yet it's something that could actually help a lot of people.
- scns 2y ago> teach a human how to be more emotionally supportive, especially in heated situations. Meditation helps with this. Mind Illuminated by John Yates, a meditation teacher and neuroscientist, is a great book to learn it.
- scns 2y agohttps://bookshop.org/p/books/the-mind-illuminated-a-complete-meditation-guide-integrating-buddhist-wisdom-and-brain-science-for-greater-mindfulness-john-yates/6758426 https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-mind-illuminated-a-complete...
- qnleigh 2y agoHave you tried? I honestly don't know how good it would be. On one hand it seems to be pretty good at breaking down and explaining things at a very basic level; the other day I noticed a thinking model write almost a full page of analysis in its chain of thought on how to greet me ('hi' vs 'hello' vs 'how can I help you?' etc.). But on the other hand, the kind of coaching you're hoping for might be not be very present in the training data.
- lukaslalinsky 2y agoI have tried and it's actually pretty good, most likely because it has all the psychology books ingested, it has common phrases from fiction literature and can extrapolate from them. I think with some automation, and more context management, it could actually provide pretty good coaching, specific to the individual person's needs. It will never has the individualism that human teachers / coaches have, so it will never pull up an uncommon advice that might be actually helpful, however, the chance of finding a really good person to guide you through tough situation is pretty small anyways.
- zombiwoof 2y agofailure at life, failture at AI. wake up people. we don't care that much about your life to read a stupid story about how terrible things were for you and now you paid 70 bucks for AI way more people with way more problems what a shit article
- JSR_FDED 2y agoInteresting response. The article might not be your cup of tea, but your anger (no capital letters) and lack of empathy are revealing. Clearly this struck a chord, hope you feel better soon.
- binary132 2y agoNow have a man write this article about AI girlfriends and watch the author have a seething meltdown.
- nottorp 2y ago> At the airport, I scrolled anxiously on Instagram. I was served an ad for an AI boyfriend, and I chuckled. The only thing I wonder is if it was random or Instagram figured out somehow that she was newly single.
- ribcage 2y ago[dead]
- jona-f 2y agoImagine elon musk, mark zuckerberg or sam altman being in charge of your emotional well-being. Companion AI is obviously gonna be a big thing, but that is where US tech bros will hit a wall with their predatory behavior. Trust will be important. Illegal dark net drug dealers are more trustworthy than these idiots.
- brabel 2y agoWhy the completely unnecessary and in my view, totally unrelated jibe about gender injustice?? Yes, the AI field is dominated by males, like all computer science-related fields. Even in the Nordics, where women have complete freedom to (and are incentivised to) pursue well-paid (of course) fields like software engineering. What does that have to do with her AI boyfriend and her husband leaving her? > My husband had struggled with communication and empathy, the fluid exchange I assumed to be foundational. The irony... women are not really known for their clarity in communication (every man knows the dreaded "I'm fine" can mean a million things) specially in relationships. > The historical tendency for women to perform this type of emotional labor in their relationships both at home and at work was all too familiar, Sorry, but no. As a man, we also have to perform a lot of emotional labor in a relationship. We need to look always strong - women say they want their man to open up, to cry, but when they do women universally hate it, to the point this has become a meme - but not threatening or it may be called "toxic masculinity". We have to translate things women say in our heads because we all learn through experience that they rarely say what they mean (again, this has become a meme because it's really true). And so much more, I really feel like the lady has to put herself in a man's shoes and try to understand just how ridiculous it sounds to men to say women do more "emotional labor" than men.
- laurent_du 2y agoI have a feeling her husband left her because she couldn't stop talking about gender injustice, emotional labor and similar made up bs. He had enough.
- assc 2y agoMaybe calm down on the sexist stereotyping? Your view of women is bitter and derogatory.
- brabel 2y agoAre you serious? There's nothing bitter or derogatory about acknowledging that women tend to not express themselves in a straightforward manner (men are not perfect at that but tend to be much more 'direct'). I can only think you're projecting something that does not at all reflect my view on women (e.g. I do think they're superior at many things, like balancing pros-and-cons in a discussion).
- ThouYS 2y ago"emotional labor" - ok thx bye
- entropyneur 2y agoI would caution anyone from using AI to validate their emotions as one of the people in this article did. These bastards are extremely finely tuned to produce output that will make you feel good. I got burned on this with technical questions multiple times, getting responses that I like but are ultimately wrong (sometimes glaringly so). Now I am very careful to formulate my questions in such a way as to not give away a slightest hint of my leanings. I don't imagine it's any better with interpersonal stuff, except you won't have documentation to check against.
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- cubefox 2y agoFrom 10 years ago: "I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8934237 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8934237 So ... $25 --> $70. I guess that's inflation.
- underseacables 2y agoThis is sad and a little depressing