But if you read what monks actually write about it you'll see that they there are tons of moments of doubt and despair where they don't want to go through those

But if you read what monks actually write about it you'll see that they there are tons of moments of doubt and despair where they don't want to go through those habits. Their habits work because they're _forced to_. There is nothing else to do in monastic life and no option to following those habits that isn't leaving the life completely. In the same way if you go to school you're forced into class structure with assignments that give very little in the way of options if you want to actually finish a degree. The most effective way to have habits is to be forced to have them. I can't keep habits worth shit when I have no schedule. I suddenly have schedules and classes and the leeway becomes smaller.