12 ms·
No Salt
- unethical_ban 2y agoThat small thing that reveals a bigger truth. I had to check myself so I wouldn't tear up at the bar.
- Diederich 2y agoThis is...hard but important.
- jpgvm 2y agoMan. As someone who also expresses love through food that hit way fucking harder than I was expecting. RIP Jake. May heaven have the most extravagant spice cabinet waiting for you.
- yinser 2y agoIf life is a river and your heart is a boat And just like a water baby, baby born to float And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high Then your heart is Amelia dying to fly Heaven knows no frontiers And I've seen heaven in your eyes - Mary Black
- KerrAvon 2y ago[flagged]
- Diederich 2y agoFrom the article: "This is not meant to disparage therapists, advocates, or grief counselors. Each person must find their own way to deal with the reality that we perceive: what works for one may not work for others."
- daniel_iversen 2y agoI think I know why you’re downvoted but I agree. Not to take anything away from this beautiful and sad article but it’s easy for people dealing with mental illness to be dissuaded from getting professional help, which on average is very likely a very bad idea.
- NeutralForest 2y agoIt's also ok to give your opinion on your personal blog without needing to put a ton of disclaimers, trust your readers at least a bit.
- slater 2y agoWrong on what? The article is clear it didn't work for the author and Jake, but makes no judgment for others
- dang 2y agoRecent and related (and heartbreaking): Starting Hospice - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41157974 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41157974 - Aug 2024 (116 comments)
- SoftTalker 2y agoIf you've already decided on cremation, look for a local Cremation Society. The term you're looking for is "simple cremation" where the deceased is cremated and the ashes returned to you. No ceremonies, no viewing, minimal decisions, minimal expense. Some funeral homes offer this also, they aren't the only option. The celebration of life at a later date can then be organized when all involved are feeling up to it.
- rpmisms 2y agoCremation makes me sad. At my little country parish, we do burials in-house, including preparing the body. The friends of the deceased get to grieve by washing them, building their coffin, digging the grave, singing the funeral, lowering them by hand, and burying them. After doing this, I can't imagine giving the body of a loved one to a funeral director to be burned.
- rottencupcakes 2y agoAll you get to decide is where in the cycle you want to deposit their carbon. It doesn’t really matter either way. Whatever helps you grieve is the best way.
- sherry-sherry 2y agoI guess that is yet another thing people can have very different opinions on. Everything you just mentioned sounds absolutely horrific to me. I would never want my family and friends to do any of that to me, nor would I do it for them.
- rpmisms 2y agoMany of us are farmers. We see death plenty. Ignoring it or outsourcing it doesn't make it go away, and I don't believe it's healthy. Burying my friend was hard. It was sad. I had a constant reminder of my own fate in front of my eyes. It's a deeply human experience, and I think that everyone should go through it. The death I see in my normal life is much worse. I recently had to put a baby goat down. Can you imagine looking a baby goat who adores you in the eyes, then shooting it between those eyes? That shit hurts deep. tl;dr: it's life, don't run away from it.
- solveit 2y agoRest in peace.
- rpmisms 2y agoThis is written in focus mode. Once you're out of that, remember to grieve. So, so important. I can't imagine my brother dying, love and prayers to you and his family.
- Yossarrian22 2y agoI'll put a little legitimate saffron in a dish this month, in Jake's memory.
- keiferski 2y agoI don’t think there are any modern startup “inventions” which bother me more than meal replacements like Soylent. It’s not that there’s something wrong with having a nutrition shake to replace a meal if you’re in a rush. It’s more that food, cooking, and eating (alone and with other people) seem like some of the most human things you can do. And so trying to optimize them out of existence feels wrong, a crime against culture. Long after the AIs have replaced entire classes of jobs and hobbies, cooking will still be around.
- etrautmann 2y agoThis is a silly take IMO. I love eating and cooking good food. I also sometimes need something healthy on the road or in between classes etc. Vanishingly few people replace all food with Soylent. It’s fine as a fill-in between meals.
- keiferski 2y agoAs I wrote, it’s not that having a fill-in meal is an issue. It’s the attitude that food and cooking are some kind of unfortunate requirement that should be optimized out of existence - which is the mentality that companies like Soylent put out there, and what their fans want. I think it’s largely a consequence of not having a respect for food, and that mentality is not welcome in places like Japan, France, Italy, etc. where there is a deep cultural respect for food.
- lidavidm 2y agoOh boy. Hope you never run into a CalorieMate or a jelly squeeze packet. Or the stoveless apartments.
- keiferski 2y agoThose are intended for quick meal replacements, not replacements for eating entirely. And stove less apartments are usually for people that eat out, not people that are trying to replace meals with shakes.
- vinnyvichy 2y agoThank you, Jake! ---and your family--- for your links and work that highlight the importance of clinical trials for mRNA tumor vaccines! Will keep posting to HN her articles when they come out. https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com (Archive listing jseliger's wife Bess Stillman on clinical trials (including how to navigate them as patients) as well as comments) Suggestions for concrete directions that have been mentioned, that are worth highlighting, in order of importance: 0) assume good faith 1) promote (& improve) Right-to-Try https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to.... 2) donate to (or even joining!) HN-adjacent Arc Institute (mRNA translational research) 3) sue the FDA for clinical trials, in general. This is not a call to attack on the FDA, but perhaps the best way, to improve processes, that is available to citizens. Here's one case https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en...
- A_D_E_P_T 2y ago> This is not a call to attack on the FDA At this point, I honestly think that we'd be much better off without an FDA at all. It costs >$2B to develop a drug. Most of this is on account of efficacy testing -- phases 2 and 3 of the drug development process -- which are nearly impossible to run. And when drugs exhibit poor or nil efficacy, the FDA sometimes approves them anyway, making the entire process unprincipled. See, e.g., flibanserin, aduhelm, and others. The result is total regulatory capture. If you're a small firm -- a biotech startup -- you quite literally can't introduce a new drug to the market. Your only hope is to push it through preclinical trials and then partner with -- or get bought out by -- a large "prime" like Pfizer which specializes in regulatory compliance and has the deep pockets required. Back in the 1940s and 1950s, there were lots of small firms that competed in drug development. Syntex, for instance. That was a period the industry still calls "The Golden Age of Drug Development," and it would be utterly impossible to recreate today. All of this is without even going into the bureaucratic hurdles which delay new treatments from reaching patients, the chilling effect that the red tape has on pharmaceutical R&D, the way they gatekeep generics, and I could go on all day. It's not just a bad system, it might be among the worst systems possible, as it concentrates all power and all wealth in the hands of a few -- and the patients are the ones who suffer for it.
- Sl1mb0 2y agoI have a little brother. And while I would say we are close, I always wonder how he feels about me. I was not nice to him growing up, and it created a lot of resentment. One day I apologized to him about it, and I remember him seeing tear up out of the corner of my eye. The day that I think changed our relationship we went on a hike together. While we were driving there he had a bunch of anxiety about it, and wanted to back out. I managed to convince him to come with me and just let all his feelings out; he just yelled at me the entire drive there about a lot of different things. Including my treatment of him. That hike to this day was the best I've ever been on. Everybody has a different relationship with their brother, but I genuinely do not and cannot imagine this existence without mine. He understands me in ways that nobody else does. He gets my jokes that nobody else does. Having a brother you are close with just _almost_ proves you don't die alone.
- polishdude20 2y agoI've got a younger sister with whom I've had a great relationship for most of my life with. She gets my jokes like nobody else just as your brother gets yours. She's been the first person I've tried to make laugh. Even now when we hang out, she's my favorite "audience" member to be silly around. Luckily, we live right across the street from eachother and see eachother multiple times a week. I hope your last sentence resonates with her as it does with us!
- katzenversteher 2y agoLuckily I'm in the same situation with my younger sister. Unfortunately she lives several hundred kilometers from me but we are in contact regularly and sometimes we even go on vacation together.
- Aeolun 2y ago> Luckily, we live right across the street from eachother and see eachother multiple times a week. Thanks, I needed to read something positive after that blog post.
- nozzlegear 2y agoMy wife and I bought a house across the street from my sister in 2016. I was really reluctant to do it, to be honest; I thought I was getting myself into an Everybody Loves Raymond situation where she'd be popping into our home uninvited all the time. But she moved away a few years ago, and we miss seeing her every day. We miss my little niece and nephew running around outside screaming, or running across the street to tell us about a toad they found or something their dad is doing. We even miss her annoying little dogs constantly getting off their chains so they could run across the street and into our backyard where our dogs would go ballistic.
- bravura 2y agoI read this to the end, and was presently surprised that the takehome wasn't: "Don't use salt, it gave my friend cancer."
- chrisbrandow 2y agoBeautiful
- renewiltord 2y agoAh fuck, mate. It’s his brother. Very poignant. Jake Seliger’s posts have been great in detailing the process he’s taken to fight the disease. I am grateful for his work.
- dvt 2y agoI, like many others here on HN, have been following Jake Seliger’s difficult road for the past few years. Thankfully from afar, as I can't imagine what he (or his family) must be going through. But getting email updates, seeing his blog pop up on here every now and then, it's become comforting and familiar, and a symbol of hope: that he's still kicking. I really hope his wife (or brother, or both) will continue writing after he moves on.
- yard2010 2y agoSorry for being angry but this is fucking sucks. It's not fair in any way. I'm speechless besides that. This is a nightmare. Sending all the love I can to you Jake Bess and family. I wish somehow I could do anything to change this or make you feel better.
- red_admiral 2y ago> I have learned much, experienced much, made many mistakes, enjoyed my triumphs, suffered my defeats, and, most vitally, experienced love. At the end of the day, what more can we wish for in a human life than this?
- domano 2y agoA bit over a year ago I lost a dear friend, while his girlfriend was pregnant. The feeling of seeing something the person will never use again is soul wrenching. I wept when I read the line "No salt. No salt means that he’s not cooking. He’ll never cook again." The child is a ray of light for me whenever I see it, I hope the family can find a little comfort in this piece of him that will be brought into the world. I have followed this story for a while now and wish the family a brighter path in the future. Thank you for focussing my thoughts on what is important, instead of the daily tech grind.
- torlok 2y ago> Both of us lacked the emotional maturity to form deep, meaningful relationships with other people. > Jake loves his plug-in induction stovetop, and thinks it worthwhile despite its cost. These are Amazon affiliate links to random crap in the middle of a blog about a brother dying to cancer about to leave a pregnant wife. What is happening here.
- pcranaway 2y agoI also noticed that. Then I remembered: this is just a free and open blog of a very talented writer. I assume this is not his only income, but I think it's justifiable.
- fragmede 2y agowhat's happening here is that cancer is expensive to treat, even with insurance.
- handsclean 2y agoDoubt that’s it, they would make more disclosing the affiliate links as a way to donate or requesting donations directly. I’d guess it’s just normal for them, or maybe inserted automatically, or maybe somebody was amused by it.
- sgseliger 2y agoThere was no malicious intent - this is Sam. Jake simply likes that cooking device, so he put a link to it when he edited my essay. He makes almost no money from his website.
- uwagar 2y agois the whole thing true or not?
- akira2501 2y ago> What is happening here. Wordpress Plugins.
- 2y ago
- NeutralForest 2y agoI'll keep reading all those updates until the last. Thank you.
- vinnyvichy 2y ago[flagged]
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- arp242 2y agoPlease don't post the exact same comment multiple times in the same thread.
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- dang 2y agoWe detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41167622 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41167622. You posted this at least 3 times. That's not ok, and it's also not ok to post a comment as a reply to a high-ranking comment when it isn't actually a response to that comment.
- tonyb 2y agoDamn - this + the hospice piece really hits home. My dad is rapidly loosing his battle with ALS. He has always loved to cut grass. He has very limited mobility (in some ways he is lucky, most people with late stage ALS are basically paralyzed. His progression is respiratory focuses so he is loosing the ability to breath faster than the ability to walk) but with some assistance has still been able to use my zero turn mower and get a little joy out of cutting my grass. Just this Sunday he reached the point where he can't cut anymore...I guess he is out of salt :'(
- gadflyinyoureye 2y ago[flagged]
- tonyb 2y agoMy dad is dying. ALS is 100% fatal. Suggesting that a $700 online course about paleo diet is going to save him is disgusting. The Wahls protocol is generally recognized as a scam with no scientific backing.
- gadflyinyoureye 2y ago[flagged]
- stevenbrianhall 2y ago> I guess he is out of salt :'( Ouch, this one hurts. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer last year and had a very similar experience - he loved jumping on the tractor and cutting the grass on his little farm, but we went so quickly from him asking me do it temporarily while he recovered from surgery to him never getting on the tractor again. So sorry for what you're going through, and wishing you some peace wherever you can find it. My email is in my bio, please reach out if you need someone to talk to (I have no useful expertise or advice of any kind here, but will gladly lend a listening ear).
- shrimp_emoji 2y ago[flagged]
- tonetheman 2y ago[dead]
- kstrauser 2y agoLast week we lost our Boston terrier. A chronic illness turned acute. What I thought was a routine trip to the vet turned into The Talk. I held our little girl as the vet helped her go to sleep and told her: “It’s ok. You can rest now. We love you so much, but you don’t have to fight for us anymore. Lay down and sleep. It won’t hurt anymore.” I’m glad Jake is surrounded by people who love him. I’m sure they’re telling him the same things. And I’m also sure it’s harder for them to let go of their beloved husband and brother than it will be for him to close his eyes and finally rest. Sending much love his way, and also theirs.
- vinnyvichy 2y agoThank you, Jake! ---and your family--- for your links and work that highlight the importance of clinical trials for mRNA tumor vaccines! I will post your wife's work to HN when it comes out. https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com (Archive listing jseliger's wife Bess Stillman on clinical trials (including how to navigate them as patients) as well as comments) Suggestions for concrete directions that have been mentioned, that are worth highlighting, in order of importance: 0) assume good faith 1) promote (& improve) Right-to-Try https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to.... 2) donate to (or even joining!) HN-adjacent Arc Institute (for mRNA translational research) 3) sue the FDA for clinical trials, in general. This is NOT a call to attack the FDA, but perhaps the best way, to improve processes, that is available to citizens. Here's one case https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en...
- dang 2y agoWe detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41167622 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41167622.
- lrivers 2y agoCrying at work from reading something on HN was not on my bingo card. Godspeed Jake
- JohnMakin 2y agoMan, the part about the credit card at the funeral home hit me really hard. When I was 20, I witnessed my dad collapse in front of me as the result of years-long battle with heart disease, failed to help him with CPR, and saw him "officially" die in front of my eyes at a hospital 30 minutes later. Barely hours later I am in a funeral home trying to make arrangements for a cremation because he had no will, assets, or last wishes, and yea, that transactional vibe hit really hard - they were feigning empathy, but I was 20, broke, just suffered a pretty traumatic event and was in quite a vulnerable state. It felt disgusting that they were trying to "upsell" me on services and every step of the process felt designed to wring every single dime that I had out of me. Luckily I didn't have much to give at that time or I probably would have.