5 ms·

Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

• horsellama 2y ago
  In 2015: “don’t waste time learning CUDA”
• msarrel 2y ago
  That's a great idea, take it to an incubator.
• lifestyleguru 2y ago
  Be nice, forgive, don't retaliate, work hard.
  • dambi0 2y ago
    At least you saved the bad advice for last :)
    • thelastparadise 2y ago
      IDK... define "being nice." If it means having a default policy of yielding to others, that is in fact horrible business/career advice. We don't need to treat every situation as an adversarial/machiavellian game, however "being nice," is in fact often bad advice. Maybe be calm, collected, respectful, but strong and self-advocating (because generally no one else is going to advocate for you out of good will.)
• pain_perdu 2y ago
  The following was advice an accomplished PhD wrote to me discouraging me from co-founding Pretty Litter which would eventually become a billion dollar (sold to Mars) CPG business: “here is some free consulting advice: you need to think very carefully through the economics and competitive environment of the cat litter business. At the end of the day there needs to be a real business, not just an exercise in PR and crowdfunding, and the risk-reward in cat litter is not at all appealing. Cat litter is a commodity product, and there are huge brands that know how to manufacture, distribute, advertise, and market it at massive scale. There are already other color-changing cat litter products. Your team has zero expertise, IP, or competitive advantages in manufacturing, chemistry, consumer products, animal health, diagnostics, or distribution. Cat litter is not an industry that needs disruption.”
  • aitchnyu 2y ago
    So how did you overcome your "zero expertise, IP, or competitive advantages" limitations, assuming they were accurate?
    • jalapenos 2y ago
      When you work really hard at something, you get pretty good at it
  • jamesk_au 2y ago
    Was it only the last sentence that was wrong? Would you mind indicating what advice you think the PhD person should have written to you based on what they knew of you at the time? Genuinely curious, and thank you for the anecdote.
  • jalapenos 2y ago
    I'm guessing he was "accomplished" in writing papers and sounding smart, rather than in a way that'd pay off his mortgage? Hope you forwarded him a newspaper clipping about the sale
  • cvwright 2y ago
    That's not bad advice - you just managed to overcome a lot of real obstacles. Humble brag.
• dteare 2y ago
  Get a safe, secure job.
  • coolThingsFirst 2y ago
    Why dis it turn out to be bad?
    • alexjplant 2y ago
      Because it's often a lie (at least in my experience). When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job", etc. all while dealing with furloughs, government shutdowns, geographic consolidation of work to different states, contracts changing hands, companies being acquired, etc. Employment in the US is at-will and nobody is going to guarantee you a job, especially these days, and employers at the lower echelons of the industry are very fond of selling the dream of "stability" by sowing fear of the unknown to prevent attrition while building a culture of malaise and low compensation. I'm not saying that one should work exclusively for seed-stage crypto startups that sell blockchain-verified probiotic dog food or anything, but at some point you should critically examine whether it makes sense to be someplace that's 10 years and tens of thousands of dollars behind the curve just because it's "stable" when it so obviously isn't.
      • redserk 2y ago
        Defense contracting is not a government job. You work for a private organization that provides services to the government. Big difference.
        • alexjplant 2y ago
          ...where did I say that it was? They're both in the same space (figuratively and sometimes literally) and both of them have the same problem insofar as they aren't as bulletproof as they're made out to be. You can, in fact, be fired from a government job and things like the government shutdown circus and BRAC are real.
• gtmitchell 2y ago
  "Just be yourself". Such terrible, useless advice to give to someone who is struggling with dating.
  • coolThingsFirst 2y ago
    What worked for you then?
    • datadrivenangel 2y ago
      Becoming a cooler, fitter, more interesting version of yourself
      • onemoresoop 2y ago
        That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.
        • mattm 2y ago
          Maybe it should be "become yourself"
          • tetris11 2y ago
            "bootstrap your future now" or "reach into the future and pull the best possible rendition of yourself backwards to now forthwith such that you can become thatself once thineself agrees that it is indeed thou that thou wishes to become"
            • datadrivenangel 2y ago
              Believe in the me who believes in you.
• thelastparadise 2y ago
  "Bitcoin is a ponzi scheme" ... in 2010
  • alexander2002 2y ago
    The current cryto landscape is shady though imo
• jurassicfoxy 2y ago
  From my mother, a very emphatic "Don't sleep with women unless you love them!"
  • jalapenos 2y ago
    Wise mother
  • leosanchez 2y ago
    What's wrong with that ?
    • lifestyleguru 2y ago
      That's how you don't have sex in your life.
      • eureka-belief 2y ago
        Nah just learn to love more people. It’s the “one weird trick” we’ve all been looking for.
• jszymborski 2y ago
  I had a mortgage broker try to get me into a variable rate mortgage I truly couldn't afford just before the rate hikes. "The Bank of Canada won't raise rates, they can't, it'll tank the market." I knew even then that was unhinged financial advice. This was a man who had a radio show about finances in Montreal. He also tried to saddle me with a real estate broker who only showed properties to me that she was selling (and outside my price range/location). If I followed his advice, I'd have had to sell the house the same year I bought it. The story ends happily, I bought a great place that was affordable and a mortgage that I've never struggled to pay. Keep a wide birth of Terry Kilakos if you are in Montreal folks.
  • gaws 2y ago
    > This was a man who had a radio show about finances in Montreal. That should've been a red flag.
  • SkyPuncher 2y ago
    Every person in the real estate industry has given me literally the worst advice. We had to threaten to fire our last agent because he was continually working against our best interests. Not just professional opinion type or stuff, but recommendations exactly the opposite what we said we wanted to do. The whole field seems to be filled with people who only survive on hope.
    • jszymborski 2y ago
      We eventually landed a phenomenal real estate agent, who had a great story. She was originally a school teacher, but after getting conned into buying a home with serious defects by a real estate agent who ended up suing her (!), she ended up becoming one to prevent others from falling into the same faith. She consistently maintained realistic expectations and over delivered, ultimately negotiating a way lower price than asking, and never pushing us in any direction. Most real estate agents are snakes, but ours was golden.
• genter 2y ago
  Don't become a computer programmer, the industry is being outsourced to India. So I became a plumber instead. Don't have to worry about someone from India flying here to crawl under a house to snake out a line.
  • onemoresoop 2y ago
    Was this a bad advice though? Are you being paid enough for your work? Does it work out for you?
  • francisofascii 2y ago
    Well, maybe the advise was right, but 20 years too early.
    • thro1 2y ago
      > Don't become a computer programmer I got such GOOD advise from my mother 40 years ago, she took me even to place where she worked to show how boring it is. It was pure amber magic in mysterious world of murmuring machines. If I had listened to her, I would have time just for the music, for sure.
  • beachy 2y ago
    The dad of one of my son's friends told me this, and he was a computer programmer himself (as am I). "Don't get your kid into programming, it will all be outsourced to India". I didn't give my kids any such prescriptive advice, and he got into game dev which has always been his passion and outsourcing hasn't come for his job yet. The modern day equivalent would be "don't get your kid into programming, it will all be done by AI soon".
  • solardev 2y ago
    Doesn't sound THAT different than my programming job. It's pipes full of shit either way...
  • eureka-belief 2y ago
    India has a boom in outsourcing right but it’s going to get squeezed especially hard from AI. I work with Indian web app developers from major Indian cities. In the last 10 years ive noticed that the technical ability of Indian devs has reach parity with dev in US or Europe. However, there’s still a huge gap when it comes to product design and communication chops because Indian dev teams were structured to be the coders as a service rather than product teams. The issue is that AI is on the cusp of being the coder as a service. If you want a job in software in the post AI era you basically need to be either cutting edge in some vertical or you need to basically be a product manager who also has the skills to manually debug the generated code. But I 100% agree with your advice overall though. I tell people don’t be a coder unless you are the type of person who codes for fun.
• francisofascii 2y ago
  A college CS professor told me to go into management. The thinking was, as you get older, it will be hard to continually compete with the younger developers and keep your skills current. After 20 years I have stayed a developer, and have seen former developers who went into management get laid off. One former manager went back to being a developer.
• elnatro 2y ago
  There is a lot of bad advice I’ve received over the years: - you don’t need to go to a good university, this one (low tier uni in my country) is fine. - don’t fight bullies back. But the worst is not receiving bad advice, but receiving no advice at all, and staying in a dead-end job and city for too many years. Having no emotional support early in life leaves yourself “damaged” and gives you a cynical view of the world.
  • BizarroLand 2y ago
    The worst is when you finally quit that dead end job | end that toxic relationship | start the business you've been dreaming of | write that book you're planning and your friends suddenly start telling you how glad they are that you finally figured out the bad thing was hurting you. Could have used that info while I was in the middle of it, my dude. Tell the people you care about when they are doing it wrong. If they can't see it, they will appreciate the outside viewpoint. If they can't take it, they're not good friends.
    • idontwantthis 2y ago
      > Tell the people you care about when they are doing it wrong. If they can't see it, they will appreciate the outside viewpoint. If they can't take it, they're not good friends. It’s rarely that simple. People are really bad at being told what to do, and will often double down. Especially in bad relationships. Usually the best you can do is be there for them when they do decide to fix things on their own.
    • zepolen 2y ago
      Haha if you think that works and you wouldn't be calling your friends assholes.
• a_bouncing_bean 2y ago
  - Fake it until you make it. While there is some truth to this depending on the context, for the most part, especially in software engineering world, you don't know everything. Don't be afraid to say if you need to research something or do POC or investigation. No one will be mad at you and if they are, you don't need to be working with that person. I spent many nights frantically trying to figure out things, to make it seemed like I was up to par, when I should have been more chill about it. - Do what you love, and the money will follow. My parents, my high school guidance, society, everyone told me this thing in 2002. Many of my friends went into music education and I can say only one or two got a job in this field. Then 2008 hit. This view, it is the survivors bias, what you should do instead is what will make you money, then figure out how to use that skill to do or add to what you love.
  • francisofascii 2y ago
    Right, or at least that is just one part of the criteria. Your job should be something: - you are naturally good at - takes years to master - the job market values - you like doing or don't mind doing all day
  • runjake 2y ago
    Ironically, both of these platitudes have been crucial to my own success. But I think they probably only work for certain types of people, so I don't disagree with you. My personal approach with "fake it until you make it" has been to decide I am a $thing (one example: an "ultramarathon runner"). OK, now what do I do as a $thing? I do x, y and z. Then, I do those things, because I am a $thing. Ultimately, I trick myself into becoming the $thing. This all occurs inside my head. I've never discussed or mentioned it to anyone. I've done it time and time again for career decisions and for personal hobbies. I don't believe it's very ego-driven. In my head, I crucify myself for hypocrisy and not admitting faults. With "Do what you love, and the money will follow", well, like many of you here, that was computers. And like with many of you, the money followed.
  • eureka-belief 2y ago
    If a young person says they want to make a living as a influencer/youtuber/writer/streamer/musician I would tell them to strongly reconsider unless they have a reason of substance besides pure ego to think they can beat the odds. When someone has the foundations to be one of those things it’s usually obvious. There have been people I’ve met in life who I thought “I’m not sure how but this person will be famous”. There many people who just don’t know how to judge their own skills and usually they just need to be pointed to the right place for information. Tragically, many of the jobs that people dream of and grind for have secret underbellies that young dreamers don’t understand. For example, Hollywood is a vipers nest where films get made. The music industry had its own Weinstein/Epstein combo recently with Diddy. Politics is the same. The most direct path to success in these fields is being willing to sell your soul and body to powerful evil people. So to be successful in those fields with your dignity intact requires a very rare constitution.
• charles_f 2y ago
  You can't joke in the office, you won't be taken seriously if you do and that will prevent you from advancing
• joseda-hg 2y ago
  I remember this one, not only because it was bad, but it really made me angry when I got it "Don't go into programming, you're not in Silicon Valley and life isn't like what you see on the internet, you have a good thing with your grandpa, just become a Mechanic like him" My biggest passion in life have always been with computers, and I know (Now even with empirical experience) that I'm a horrible fit for a mechanic But lets say I wasn't, and take it that it wasn't said in bad faith; It still enraged me that he didn't thought I'd be capable, I managed to learn and earn enough, escape my birthplace and (Sadly) The good thing my grandpa had going on went down in flames (Due to external circumstances) It's been years and it still pisses me off, but I'm confident that he doesn't even remember that we ever talked about it
• chuankl 2y ago
  A meta-comment: whether an advice is good or bad should not be assessed based on a specific outcome. You can follow a good advice and end up with a bad outcome. Similarly, you can follow a bad advice and end up with a good outcome. This is more obvious in poker (Annie Duke wrote a few books on the topic), but I think the same principle also applies to life in general. Sure, "I went against this sensible advice and look at what I accomplished!!" makes for good storytelling. But that does not help us decide which advice to follow now and in the future.
• sameerds 2y ago
  "You chose this. Keep your head down and work at it. It will all work out in the end."
• subsection1h 2y ago
  Emacs is archaic and dying. Use JEdit instead. JEdit is the new Emacs. JEdit is already better than Emacs because it's being written using an excellent new language named Java.
• Crier1002 2y ago
  "work smart, not hard" i think this advice is a bit too vague and it's just something people say to sound smart to trick people into thinking there's a shortcut to mastery i genuinely believe that if you work hard to hone your skill on something, it will do you good. if you want to get good at something, you gotta put in the hours, the grind. e.g. to learn how to play a tennis, you gotta, you know, actually get down to the court and play tennis instead of watching tutorial on how to play tennis. Same goes with programming, music, etc. now pair working hard with the ability to retrospect -- you'll master a lot of skills in life
  • zepolen 2y ago
    Work smart not hard is not about mastery it's about maximizing your output.
• mikewarot 2y ago
  "You just need to apply yourself, Mike" I had no idea what that meant, for decades.
• pajamasam 2y ago
  Our school's headmaster advised me not to take computer science classes as they are "too difficult." It ended up being the class in which I got my best marks, I was the top student and made my living out of programming ever since.
• p0d 2y ago
  "You are ugly and need to learn to live with it", from my Father at my 18th birthday. I share this not to garner sympathy. I am more than 30 years over it, but it did impact more than I understood at the time. If you are still hung up on historic lies I would recommend you find a way through or you they will dent you, even if part of you knows they aren't true. My view of myself was later shaped by christian faith. The Bible tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have an attractive wife and good looking children but even that was not even enough to fix the dent. As humans we do not have all truth inside our own heads. We need a second opinion on much of our internal thoughts and processes.
  • shrimp_emoji 2y ago
    You needed to resort to imaginary friends to cope with being ugly? Jesus. Pun intended.
• shrimp_emoji 2y ago
  Try Clojure
• dakiol 2y ago
  Work dignifies man/Work is a precious thing. Or something like that. I do think that working on your own thing (like a company you start or a project you created) is a precious thing. Working for others is not; it’s a simple exchange of time for money.