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I come from a country which has been suffering from this problem for many decades. A large gender imbalance warps society, and is a real concern particularly fo
by _zn8u 3y ago
I come from a country which has been suffering from this problem for many decades. A large gender imbalance warps society, and is a real concern particularly for straight dating/marriage. There are many ways to talk about it that reflect the seriousness of the problem.
But all too often in the Bay Area, laypeople talk about it without the gravity that it deserves. Unserious comments, like the professor talking about "artillery distance", are what you can't make in polite society. And I think that's good.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y ago> like the professor talking about "artillery distance" That's a common phrase in the US. It's just a marker of distance, like "a stone's throw." That's not what most people are objecting to.
- _zn8u 3y agoBe that as it may, the phrase, and the comment in general, just does not reflect the gravity of the issue. A large gender skew is really, really bad for society and needs to be taken extremely seriously.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y ago> just does not reflect the gravity of the issue. In what way? How could he have phrased his statement to make it "extremely serious" in your eyes?
- _zn8u 3y agoI think a serious, mature comment would have provided at least one citation about gender ratios, and would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than commenting on any individual or group's behavior. A serious comment would have also included an exhortation to the student to get their act together and stop thinking of life in terms of "looking for a girlfriend" -- the student he was replying to comes off as in some serious need of self-confidence, something that most well-adjusted people seek out in a partner.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoThis was an answer to a question on a social media site. Why are you expecting citations? You haven't given any in this conversation. Should I not be taking your comments seriously? > would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than commenting on any individual or group's behavior. All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? > get their act together and stop thinking of life in terms of "looking for a girlfriend" What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. > the student he was replying to comes off as in some serious need of self-confidence, something that most well-adjusted people seek out in a partner. And you don't think moving to an area where it's easier to get a date is going to help with that?
- _zn8u 3y agoTo be clear, it was not an answer to a question. It was a reply to a commenter (not the OP) dumping on an unrelated question about job advice. At no point did anyone ask for dating advice. > All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? You're not wrong at some level, but phrasing matters a lot when you're talking about sensitive topics like this! Someone commenting on "stark" differences in "behavior" comes off as much more of a creep than someone making the more general point that it can be harder to find someone with a gender skew. By the way, the idea of a gender skew has been disputed -- apparently, Berkeley has more female students than male ones. You can find other comments pointing that out. > What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. I don't think that's true -- I've never heard any of my male friends say they were inspired by anything like that. Even if it is the case, it doesn't seem that much like human nature. Personally speaking, the idea of getting my act together so I can find a partner is completely alien to me. My main motivation for getting my act together has been so I can fulfill my responsibilities to the people (and animal) I care for.
- 3y ago
- inferiorhuman 3y agoThat's a common phrase in the US. Born and raised in the Bay Area. That's not a phrase I've heard, even after a couple trips to the Littlefield museum (whose tanks are intentionally aimed at San Francisco).
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoThanks for the anecdata. You don't know anyone who voted for Trump, either, do you?
- inferiorhuman 3y agoNah, I know a few of those. I just thought we were playing "my anecdote is more meaningful than your anecdote".
- nec4b 3y agoThere are probably a lot of other expression you don't know. Are trying to say that those of us who know it are making it up?
- dekhn 3y agoYeah, it's not a common phrase in the US, even in the more militarily focused areas. I don't know why the commenter said that.