4 ms·
NGL, I don’t think the advice to gtfo the Bay Area was the offensive part. It was the part where he suggested to get out because the women of the Bay Area were
by SamoyedFurFluff 3y ago
NGL, I don’t think the advice to gtfo the Bay Area was the offensive part. It was the part where he suggested to get out because the women of the Bay Area were categorically worse!
If he just said it’s better to expand the geographical search due to not enough women in general that just makes sense. The additional step to insult all women in the area was wild
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoHe's not wrong. You don't go to the lesbian capital of the USA if you're looking for heterosexual dating prospects.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoPlease read the original comment the professor made. He’s not talking like the women are just unavailable. He’s talking that they’re categorically bad. (FWIW I don’t believe lesbians are bad lol)
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoI read it. I disagree with your portrayal of his statement.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoWait how do you read that the advise to get out due to “the differences in the women” outside of the area vs the women in the area as not saying the women in the Bay Area are not suitable life partners?
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoIt's a bad idea to pursue lesbian women if you want a heterosexual life partner. This should not be a hard thing to understand. Do you agree that lesbian women are different from straight women?
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoHe didn’t say they were lesbians. He said their behavior is shocking! Lesbians aren’t shocking lol. They’re very normal.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y agoStatistics say that San Francisco is the LGBTQ capital of the world. They're very normal, but they're not what most straight men are looking for in a relationship. As I said before, this is not hard to understand.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoHe didn’t mention lesbians though??
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- alephnerd 3y agoThe LGBTQ+ community in SF skews Gay and Trans, not Lesbian. That said, none of this has ANY bearing on his clearly misogynistic statements
- lylejantzi3rd 3y ago> clearly misogynistic What's clear is that you're not treating the man's actual words with any sort of grace or understanding. It's not sporting and it's against HN's guidelines. Assume good faith.
- alephnerd 3y ago[flagged]
- 3y ago
- davidguetta 3y ago"difference of behavior due to the competition" he never said there were not good life partner, only that they were INACECSSIBLE. he was literally answering to basically an (literal) incel complaining to not have luck with women
- dekhn 3y agoI agree with the other commenters that you're reading your own beliefs into his statement. Think of what the prof said as more like a anthropologist analyzing human behavior through the lens of animal behavior.
- draw_down 3y ago[dead]
- nailer 3y agoHis rationale was solid: there is limited supply of women in the Bay Area so the market tends to favour women. If there was an under supply of men, for example after a war, the same thing would be true of the few remaining men. His mistake was apologising when I suspect he knows he is correct, or more broadly, not having sufficient opportunity or resources to leave an institution that would force him to retract a correct analysis of a market.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoBut he didn’t say there’s a limited supply of women. He explicitly said the behavior of the women in the area is categorically worse than outside of it, which is wtf. Imagine being a female student and having your professor say that you suck as a dating prospect just because you live in the area?
- akoboldfrying 3y ago>He explicitly said the behavior of the women in the area is categorically worse than outside of it No. He did not use the words "worse" or "categorically" -- you did.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoIt was very obviously he wasn’t saying it positively!
- akoboldfrying 3y agoI inferred that "difference" meant "difference in a worse direction" too, and so would almost anyone. But that doesn't excuse your false claim, which magnifies what he did say.
- nec4b 3y ago[flagged]
- nailer 3y ago
- seaourfreed 3y agoI don't think his comment means women are worse in the bay area. The bay area with far more males, then women are in high demand, and low supply. They have more bargaining power and can navigate to fewer men. It doesn't mean women are bad. But the dating environment can be less advantageous to men in the bay area than other markets. Moving can be logical without implying anything wrong with women.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoBut he didn’t say that. He just slagged on all women’s “behavior”. Don’t introduce nuance where he clearly didn’t. Nuance would’ve made the statement much better, but he chose not to! So bizarre!
- akoboldfrying 3y ago>all women’s “behavior" Again, he never said the word "all", and much turns on that word. It is you who is attempting to destroy nuance, by twisting what he did say into something more shocking, in the hope that more pearls will be clutched.
- solenoid0937 3y agoAs a dude in a happy relationship I would absolutely give the same recommendation to any guy my old professor did here. He is merely making a statement about average behavior, not all behavior. It is just not worth sifting through the sand to find the "normally" behaving women here. It is so much easier to date in literally any other city that it's not even funny.
- treprinum 3y agoI remember posts on social media a few years back urging single women to move to SFBA that they will have their pick of men even if they aren't attractive in their home county and I found that offensive to men.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y agoYes, and if a professor was saying this to their students what would be offensive! But that’s not what we’re talking about, I’m so sorry you were offended though.
- dotcoma 3y agoI think we should all try to be offended less, not more. Especially by something written on an Internet forum by somebody we don’t know who probably was not talking about us.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y ago> I think we should all try to be offended less, not more. Doesn't seem to be going that way, though, does it?
- dotcoma 3y agoUnfortunately not. And not only do we feel offended for things that are or even simply could be about us, but also for others, and even when those others do not feel offended themselves.
- gizmo 3y agoTechnically the professor didn't quite say that women in the Bay Area are worse people. The argument made (or implied) is that when women are not "plentiful" (his words) then you have a skewed dating market where men will on average date less desirable women than they otherwise would (and the least desirable men will find themselves without any dates). Anyway, I don't endorse the professor's statement (and it's certainly inappropriate in a professional context). But the professor is at least correct in pointing out that a gender imbalance on the dating market makes dating significantly harder.