3 ms·

I don't normally like to talk about matters this personal in a forum like this—especially given that I use my real name as my username here, but if it ends up h

I don't normally like to talk about matters this personal in a forum like this—especially given that I use my real name as my username here, but if it ends up helping one person then I think it'll be worth it. My son was born a little over 9 months ago. He's healthy, delightful, and utterly normal—and yet I, his father, still ended up with postpartum depression. I think it's underreported and under-appreciated that fathers can also have serious postpartum mental health issues. I've been taking Lexapro since January to manage the symptoms, predominantly anxiety, and feel great from it. I haven't experienced any noticeable side-effects that you might normally associate with SSRIs, and I'm incredibly grateful that I was in a position to start taking it. New dads: if you feel unusually down, anxious, frustrated, angry, or depressed, consider talking to your PCP about treatment. Taking medication is not an admission of failure. Being a father is tough, but it shouldn't feel impossible. edit: see my replies for exactly why I don't like discussing this. Edit 2: since I’m concerned that some asshole in my replies might dissuade some folks who might seek care from seeking it, please check this article out: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/yes-postpartum-depression-in-men-is-very-real/amp/ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/yes-postpartum-depression... 8-10% of new fathers experience postpartum depression.

rs_rs_rs_rs_rs 3y ago
[flagged]
- aaronbrethorst 3y ago
  With all due respect, fuck off. How dare you question my lived experience.
  - rs_rs_rs_rs_rs 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - aaronbrethorst 3y ago
      Go outside and touch some grass, my dude.
      - amelius 3y ago
        Dude might be a woman.
        gusgus01 3y ago
        "dude" is now also used as a unisex term [1] [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude
    - haldujai 3y ago
      UpToDate is paywalled but here is a relevant excerpt for you on postpartum paternal depression which is a very real diagnosis: New fathers may develop depressive symptoms or disorders. Postpartum paternal depression can interfere with paternal-infant bonding and is associated with adverse effects upon child development. Prevalence — Based upon studies that used diagnostic interviews, the estimated prevalence of postpartum paternal depression ranges from 3 to 5 percent: ●One study interviewed fathers (n >2000) of infants and found that the prevalence of postpartum major depression was about 5 percent. ●A study of a clinical database that included new fathers (n >86,000) found that by the time their children were one year old, an episode of postpartum depression had occurred in 3 percent. Given that you acknowledge depression I expect your misunderstanding is the fact that postpartum depression is defined as unipolar major depression occurring within 12 months after birth, it is not sex specific and can be either maternal or paternal. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/postpartum-paternal-depression https://www.uptodate.com/contents/postpartum-paternal-depres...
    - tkzed49 3y ago
      Just some unsolicited advice for you: your comments read as antagonistic and arrogant, and are neither going to get you useful information nor make you any friends. If you're genuinely curious about how this is possible, why not ask good-faith questions about their experience, and then make a judgment quietly to yourself? Instead, you're invalidating them from a position of ignorance. Even in other cases where you might be right, you still look childish and insufferable.
oblio 3y ago
Replies? Are they flagged?
- aaronbrethorst 3y ago
  Yes
haldujai 3y ago
I'm glad to hear you're feeling great having received treatment and that you're hopefully now getting to enjoy time with your healthy son. On a personal and professional level I'm greatly appreciative of your decision to share your experience and contribute to the destigmatization and increased awareness of male mental health despite anticipating attacks.
- aaronbrethorst 3y ago
  Thank you on both counts. And also for the detailed rebuttal you posted in the flagged reply below my original post.
thinkharderdev 3y ago
Sorry to hear that you had PPD but glad you were able to get help and feel better. I had a child around the same time and I can empathize with your experience. It's a wonderful time but can also be very overwhelming, especially for a first child (which is the case for me). It's like you take a major life change, natural anxiousness about your kid (are they hitting all their development milestones, eating enough, getting enough sleep, sleeping too much, etc, etc, etc) and mix in a big dollop of sleep deprivation. > New dads: if you feel unusually down, anxious, frustrated, angry, or depressed, consider talking to your PCP about treatment. Taking medication is not an admission of failure. Being a father is tough, but it shouldn't feel impossible. Amen. Being the internet, people are going to be jerks but I for one appreciate you sharing your experience.
thumbuddy 3y ago
You're a good human. Continue being willing to put yourself in the line to help others. You will be remembered and admired for it.
AndrewThrowaway 3y ago
I think I share exactly the same experience and the very same thing helped greatly for me. I was just not diagnosed any postpartum depression but rather good old GAD. After the birth of a son life changed 180 - no free time, no personal time etc etc. All you can expect. Less sleep, a lot of unknowns and anxieties. Again - expected. Less time with wife. Feelings of down, depression. Some anger problems. But it all looks like everyday life and everybody experiences stuff like that. Then my father died. So I became "the man of the family". Then corona hit. Then unknowns at work. Then one day I was playing with my son and he hit his back and I felt so sick. However x-rays just nothing and he was just fine the next day. Life continues. And one day I was just chilling and having some alone time and it all hit me like a train. Suddenly I thought I am gonna die. Somehow my heart will fail (my father had heart problems) and basically I could not function as a person. I just wanted that somebody would take me to the hospital or something and just care for me so if my hearts starts failing medics would be near. I couldn't work. One of the worst weeks or so of my life. Of course my heart was just fine. All these things were accumulating for some time already. The very same Lexapro helped me a lot. No side effects whatsoever. After a few months I felt like I was actually young again. Things started to improve both at home and at work. Anxiety is 99% gone. I am just so glad I got help. Actually I was forced to as I couldn't function.
- esel2k 3y ago
  How are things after? The few PCP or psychiatrist friends told me that these meds have a huge addiction potential. Could you be without it again?
  - AndrewThrowaway 3y ago
    For me there was no "after" yet. Psychiatrist suggests to be on meds for at least a year or so. Combine with therapy. Going off meds should be very slow and take a month or so of dosage lowering. I guess body should have be adjusted to increased levels of serotonin and lowering the dose very slowly should help the body to adjust the levels by itself. Nothing that was not done by millions of people already.
  - habinero 3y ago
loeg 3y ago
I don't have anything to add, just -- another new dad here -- wanted to say thanks for sharing and I'm glad it's working for you.

rs_rs_rs_rs_rs 3y ago

[flagged]

aaronbrethorst 3y ago
With all due respect, fuck off. How dare you question my lived experience.
- rs_rs_rs_rs_rs 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - aaronbrethorst 3y ago
    Go outside and touch some grass, my dude.
    - amelius 3y ago
      Dude might be a woman.
      - gusgus01 3y ago
        "dude" is now also used as a unisex term [1] [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude
  - haldujai 3y ago
    UpToDate is paywalled but here is a relevant excerpt for you on postpartum paternal depression which is a very real diagnosis: New fathers may develop depressive symptoms or disorders. Postpartum paternal depression can interfere with paternal-infant bonding and is associated with adverse effects upon child development. Prevalence — Based upon studies that used diagnostic interviews, the estimated prevalence of postpartum paternal depression ranges from 3 to 5 percent: ●One study interviewed fathers (n >2000) of infants and found that the prevalence of postpartum major depression was about 5 percent. ●A study of a clinical database that included new fathers (n >86,000) found that by the time their children were one year old, an episode of postpartum depression had occurred in 3 percent. Given that you acknowledge depression I expect your misunderstanding is the fact that postpartum depression is defined as unipolar major depression occurring within 12 months after birth, it is not sex specific and can be either maternal or paternal. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/postpartum-paternal-depression https://www.uptodate.com/contents/postpartum-paternal-depres...
  - tkzed49 3y ago
    Just some unsolicited advice for you: your comments read as antagonistic and arrogant, and are neither going to get you useful information nor make you any friends. If you're genuinely curious about how this is possible, why not ask good-faith questions about their experience, and then make a judgment quietly to yourself? Instead, you're invalidating them from a position of ignorance. Even in other cases where you might be right, you still look childish and insufferable.

oblio 3y ago

Replies? Are they flagged?

aaronbrethorst 3y ago
Yes

haldujai 3y ago

I'm glad to hear you're feeling great having received treatment and that you're hopefully now getting to enjoy time with your healthy son. On a personal and professional level I'm greatly appreciative of your decision to share your experience and contribute to the destigmatization and increased awareness of male mental health despite anticipating attacks.

aaronbrethorst 3y ago
Thank you on both counts. And also for the detailed rebuttal you posted in the flagged reply below my original post.

thinkharderdev 3y ago

Sorry to hear that you had PPD but glad you were able to get help and feel better. I had a child around the same time and I can empathize with your experience. It's a wonderful time but can also be very overwhelming, especially for a first child (which is the case for me). It's like you take a major life change, natural anxiousness about your kid (are they hitting all their development milestones, eating enough, getting enough sleep, sleeping too much, etc, etc, etc) and mix in a big dollop of sleep deprivation. > New dads: if you feel unusually down, anxious, frustrated, angry, or depressed, consider talking to your PCP about treatment. Taking medication is not an admission of failure. Being a father is tough, but it shouldn't feel impossible. Amen. Being the internet, people are going to be jerks but I for one appreciate you sharing your experience.

thumbuddy 3y ago

You're a good human. Continue being willing to put yourself in the line to help others. You will be remembered and admired for it.

AndrewThrowaway 3y ago

I think I share exactly the same experience and the very same thing helped greatly for me. I was just not diagnosed any postpartum depression but rather good old GAD. After the birth of a son life changed 180 - no free time, no personal time etc etc. All you can expect. Less sleep, a lot of unknowns and anxieties. Again - expected. Less time with wife. Feelings of down, depression. Some anger problems. But it all looks like everyday life and everybody experiences stuff like that. Then my father died. So I became "the man of the family". Then corona hit. Then unknowns at work. Then one day I was playing with my son and he hit his back and I felt so sick. However x-rays just nothing and he was just fine the next day. Life continues. And one day I was just chilling and having some alone time and it all hit me like a train. Suddenly I thought I am gonna die. Somehow my heart will fail (my father had heart problems) and basically I could not function as a person. I just wanted that somebody would take me to the hospital or something and just care for me so if my hearts starts failing medics would be near. I couldn't work. One of the worst weeks or so of my life. Of course my heart was just fine. All these things were accumulating for some time already. The very same Lexapro helped me a lot. No side effects whatsoever. After a few months I felt like I was actually young again. Things started to improve both at home and at work. Anxiety is 99% gone. I am just so glad I got help. Actually I was forced to as I couldn't function.

esel2k 3y ago
How are things after? The few PCP or psychiatrist friends told me that these meds have a huge addiction potential. Could you be without it again?
- AndrewThrowaway 3y ago
  For me there was no "after" yet. Psychiatrist suggests to be on meds for at least a year or so. Combine with therapy. Going off meds should be very slow and take a month or so of dosage lowering. I guess body should have be adjusted to increased levels of serotonin and lowering the dose very slowly should help the body to adjust the levels by itself. Nothing that was not done by millions of people already.
- habinero 3y ago

loeg 3y ago

I don't have anything to add, just -- another new dad here -- wanted to say thanks for sharing and I'm glad it's working for you.